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(Salon)   Actual headline: "Let's hope the Boston Marathon bomber is a white American." Because if there is one thing Americans can't stand, it is foreigners taking our jobs   (salon.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, Boston Marathon, Americans, Irish Republican Army, existential threat, David Sirota, Islamists, Department of Homeland Security, Tim Wise  
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7606 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Apr 2013 at 9:14 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-17 09:27:46 AM  
I am starting to think it is. This sounds and feels much more like the Olympic Park bombing than anything else.
 
2013-04-17 09:27:53 AM  

Mr. Eugenides: RexTalionis: People just like to use the word "existential threat" as a short-hand for "wow, I'm really worried, look at me pissing in my pants and soiling myself." Stop it. It's sloppy. It's inaccurate. It's intellectually dishonest and it's stupid.

I got a threatening letter from Albert Camus, I considered that an existential threat and I feel justified in that!


Wow, they've taught Orcas how to write?  That's amazing.
 
2013-04-17 09:29:26 AM  

KrispyKritter: I_C_Weener: Pocket Ninja: Hm, you know, it's possible that the Israelian Brony aspect of his persona may provide the most telling backstory. Consider the possibilities...maybe, as a child, he was visiting a petting farm in his native country to see the ponies. He got a little too far from his parents and had an unfortunate accident with the hay bailer. The accident almost took his left arm and he would have bled to death if not for the presence of a doctor, who was able to perform a life-saving transfusion using blood from the farm's only pig, which died. And yes, he did save the young Israelian brony's life, but at what cost? His blood defiled, now; he would spend the rest of his life seen as half pig. The vilest of the vile.  Hey pig boy, they would yell at him. His parents disowned him. His world became twisted, isolated, filled with hate. He wanted to lash out, to strike back at anyone and everything. It's sad, really. With a start like that, it's hard to imagine someone not becoming an atheist, gay, undocumented immigrant former late-term abortion providing and non-background-checked gun owning lone wolf terrorist.

But pressure cookers? Come now. Nothing you propose covers his hate for a pressurized cooking device for speedy deep frying of chicken with 11 herbs and spices.

I think your scenario is therefore far fetched.

This was clearly the work of a transsexual failed pole dancer who is overweight due to KFC.

I bet he's even got a Commie flag tacked up on the side of his garage wall.


And green teeth.
 
2013-04-17 09:29:34 AM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: muck4doo: I really hope this doesn't lead to a ban of 11 herbs and spices. :(

Too late. KFC is already going to stop selling friend chicken... because it hates freedom.


"If you give up 11 herbs and spices for a little safety....."
~Ben Franklin
 
2013-04-17 09:29:36 AM  
Perhaps this was the real target, and the bomber just got garbled instructions:

www.pbs.org
 
2013-04-17 09:29:39 AM  

SlothB77: Second, Islamists declaring terrorism in the name of allah, with muslim groups taking responsibility, i.e., an islamic terrorist group took credit for the failed Times Square bombing, are existential threats.


Standing next to an IED made by a white guy poses the same threat to your existence as standing next to one made by an Arab guy.
 
2013-04-17 09:30:02 AM  

Rev. Skarekroe: Funny that the party responsible hasn't sent out a manifesto or anything.
What if it's just a maniac who gets off on seeing people killed?


Does he love U2?

blogs.amctv.com
 
2013-04-17 09:30:39 AM  

KrispyKritter: I_C_Weener: Pocket Ninja: Hm, you know, it's possible that the Israelian Brony aspect of his persona may provide the most telling backstory. Consider the possibilities...maybe, as a child, he was visiting a petting farm in his native country to see the ponies. He got a little too far from his parents and had an unfortunate accident with the hay bailer. The accident almost took his left arm and he would have bled to death if not for the presence of a doctor, who was able to perform a life-saving transfusion using blood from the farm's only pig, which died. And yes, he did save the young Israelian brony's life, but at what cost? His blood defiled, now; he would spend the rest of his life seen as half pig. The vilest of the vile.  Hey pig boy, they would yell at him. His parents disowned him. His world became twisted, isolated, filled with hate. He wanted to lash out, to strike back at anyone and everything. It's sad, really. With a start like that, it's hard to imagine someone not becoming an atheist, gay, undocumented immigrant former late-term abortion providing and non-background-checked gun owning lone wolf terrorist.

But pressure cookers? Come now. Nothing you propose covers his hate for a pressurized cooking device for speedy deep frying of chicken with 11 herbs and spices.

I think your scenario is therefore far fetched.

This was clearly the work of a transsexual failed pole dancer who is overweight due to KFC.

I bet he's even got a Commie flag tacked up on the side of his garage wall.



I'd like to kick him in the knee.
 
2013-04-17 09:30:54 AM  
I was hoping this was from the Onion.....
 
2013-04-17 09:31:20 AM  
Where is the media fury? Where are the liberal cries to outlaw evil-looking "assault bombs"? Where are the cries to outlaw explosive substances wholesale? Explosive substances have but one purpose, (to ignite and burn explosively and destructively,) just like "guns have but one purpose, to kill." Where are the cries for background checks to purchase gasoline, or limiting possession to say, seven gallons at a time, no matter what size the gas tank?

Eh, no ulterior motives, I guess.
 
2013-04-17 09:31:24 AM  
The identity of said perpetrator is a known unknown.
But he's likely to be a capricorn.
Brony Israelianist.
 
2013-04-17 09:31:29 AM  

Mr. Eugenides: RexTalionis: People just like to use the word "existential threat" as a short-hand for "wow, I'm really worried, look at me pissing in my pants and soiling myself." Stop it. It's sloppy. It's inaccurate. It's intellectually dishonest and it's stupid.

I got a threatening letter from Albert Camus, I considered that an existential threat and I feel justified in that!


Is it Plato's heebie jeebies or just existential blues?
 
2013-04-17 09:31:30 AM  

RexTalionis: SlothB77: Second, Islamists declaring terrorism in the name of allah, with muslim groups taking responsibility, i.e., an islamic terrorist group took credit for the failed Times Square bombing, are existential threats.

I don't think you understand the word "existential." An existential threat is one that will end the existence to the thing that the threat is existential to. Unless those Islamists apparently also have hundreds of nuclear weapons aimed at us, it is not an existential threat.

People just like to use the word "existential threat" as a short-hand for "wow, I'm really worried, look at me pissing in my pants and soiling myself." Stop it. It's sloppy. It's inaccurate. It's intellectually dishonest and it's stupid.


Yeah, okay, I can respect that.  I feel the same way whenever people use "decimated."
 
2013-04-17 09:31:43 AM  
i.imgur.com


/still not feeling guilty for being a white male
 
2013-04-17 09:32:22 AM  

Wendy's Chili: SlothB77: Second, Islamists declaring terrorism in the name of allah, with muslim groups taking responsibility, i.e., an islamic terrorist group took credit for the failed Times Square bombing, are existential threats.

Standing next to an IED made by a white guy poses the same threat to your existence as standing next to one made by an Arab guy.


Yeah but the brown one is scarier.  If a white guy blows up a white guy that's just good ol fashioned wholesome Christian shenanigans.
 
2013-04-17 09:32:44 AM  

Wendy's Chili: SlothB77: Second, Islamists declaring terrorism in the name of allah, with muslim groups taking responsibility, i.e., an islamic terrorist group took credit for the failed Times Square bombing, are existential threats.

Standing next to an IED made by a white guy poses the same threat to your existence as standing next to one made by an Arab guy.


This seems like a good place for an old fashion Polish joke.
 
2013-04-17 09:33:15 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: I was hoping this was from the Onion.....


No kidding. The "Lone Wolf" vs "Existential Threat" subheading was enough to get me to stop reading.
 
2013-04-17 09:33:16 AM  

give me doughnuts: I'd like to kick him in the knee.


I used to be a terrorist like you, but then...
 
2013-04-17 09:33:23 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-17 09:33:43 AM  

DamnYankees: For the psyche of Americans, TFA is basically correct. We deal with terrorists from white people much more sanely, as pathetic as that is.


Yeah, I've never heard of white people getting lynched in response to a terrorist attack in the US.

//not since Bleeding Kansas, anyway.
 
2013-04-17 09:34:10 AM  
I see. We need a "I'm not saying it's white dudes...but it's white dudes" caption.

Nothing like jumping to conclusions. We're not supposed to say it's brown people, but it's ok to automatically make the leap that it must be white people?

F*ck that. Author needs a shot in the nuts.
 
2013-04-17 09:34:51 AM  
from the troll article:

"White privilege is knowing that if this bomber turns out to be white, the United States government will not bomb whatever corn field or mountain town or stale suburb from which said bomber came.."

Apparently you've missed this conversation in the news the last 2 months:

static.guim.co.uk

Yes, it's illegal for us to carpet bomb domestic terrorists, because they're CITIZENS and therefore protected by our legal justice system rights.

But don't worry, we're working on getting around it.
 
2013-04-17 09:35:39 AM  
The third fatality was a Chinese national, so whether the perpetrator is domestic or foreign it's an international incident either way.
 
2013-04-17 09:35:40 AM  
I'm hoping its a woman.. its never a woman! The feminists are really slacking in the psycho terrorism equality area.
 
2013-04-17 09:36:13 AM  

I_C_Weener: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: muck4doo: I really hope this doesn't lead to a ban of 11 herbs and spices. :(

Too late. KFC is already going to stop selling friend chicken... because it hates freedom.

They already got rid of bones.   Boneless chicken!  The terrorists have already won.


I had KFC Sunday night for Thrones and Mad Men.

It gave me the runs for 2 days.
 
2013-04-17 09:36:33 AM  

Mohammad I'm Hard Bruce Lee: [i.imgur.com image 850x444]


Kyle Orton?
 
2013-04-17 09:36:35 AM  

DamnYankees: For the psyche of Americans, TFA is basically correct. We deal with terrorists from white people much more sanely, as pathetic as that is.


Please, that's because most mass killers who are white are individual killers and not part of a group. They don't have ties to anyone to point fingers to. Compared to killers who come from terrorist groups. And when a killer who is white can be tied to a group, such as the Weather Underground or the Manson Family, you better believe there is a hunt for people who fit their description.

White male privilege my ass. If this was a serial killing, the profiling would be white male first. That's how the Beltway Snipers were able to allude the police for so long. They didn't fit the white male profile the FBI had on them.

/That article is a joke.
 
2013-04-17 09:37:24 AM  
If they're agents of a foreign government: I hope they're from Lichtenstein. That one would be over pretty quickly.
 
2013-04-17 09:37:56 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Pocket Ninja: Can you imagine if he turns out to be gay? Hoooo boy, that would muddy the water.

How about a gay lone wolf terrorist who had a brief career as an abortion doctor specializing in late-term abortions.

Oh, oh, I know. I gay lone wolf former late-term abortionist terrorist who owns over a dozen handguns and automatic rifles all purchased at gun shows. And he entered the country illegally 15 years ago and has been living here ever since. And he's an atheist.

An atheist, gay, undocumented immigrant former late-term abortion providing and non-background-checked gun owning lone wolf terrorist. Now  thatwould be something.

And a woman named Frieda.


He's been one of us.
 
2013-04-17 09:38:36 AM  

Mr. Eugenides: RexTalionis: People just like to use the word "existential threat" as a short-hand for "wow, I'm really worried, look at me pissing in my pants and soiling myself." Stop it. It's sloppy. It's inaccurate. It's intellectually dishonest and it's stupid.

I got a threatening letter from Albert Camus, I considered that an existential threat and I feel justified in that!


First, bravo.

Second, the whole "existential threat" thing is laughable. Are right-wingers comic book nerds that they believe people or groups can be supervillains capable of destroying entire countries like Ultron did to Slorenia or Black Adam did to Bialya. These aren't armies. They can't invade. They can't occupy. They can't take over. They can only hurt us in limited ways. What remotely realistic way, even with nukes, could terrorists threaten the existence of this country?
 
2013-04-17 09:38:41 AM  

SlothB77: Second, Islamists declaring terrorism in the name of allah, with muslim groups taking responsibility, i.e., an islamic terrorist group took credit for the failed Times Square bombing, are existential threats.

What larger group was the Unabomber working for?  He was operating as a lone wolf.


Thanks. You just confirmed what the article said.
 
2013-04-17 09:38:43 AM  

Ecobuckeye: Mohammad I'm Hard Bruce Lee: [i.imgur.com image 850x444]

Kyle Orton?


Not enough neck beard
 
2013-04-17 09:39:01 AM  
White privilege is knowing that if this bomber turns out to be white, the United States government will not bomb whatever corn field or mountain town or stale suburb from which said bomber came, just to ensure that others like him or her don't get any ideas. And if he turns out to be a member of the Irish Republican Army we won't bomb Dublin. And if he's an Italian-American Catholic we won't bomb the Vatican.

I love this assumption that a domestic terrorist could only possibly come from farm country, or the mountains, or the "stale suburbs." As if the peace-loving, non-violent, civil denizens of our nation's major cities would never display such unrefined deportment.

Privileged coastal elite: This is why America hates you.
 
2013-04-17 09:40:50 AM  
Basically what I got out of this article was "I hope this persons race causes my political goals to be pushed forward and not yours".  What his article should have been titled, if he were being honest, is "Lets hope the bomber was a pro gun republican".

He is acting like white religious cults and militias havent been hammered in public opinion (justifiably so) as a result of the actions of people like them.  In general both of these groups are looked at with major disdain.
 
2013-04-17 09:41:10 AM  

RexTalionis: SlothB77: What larger group was the Unabomber working for? He was operating as a lone wolf.

A lone wolf is one who is sympathetic to a larger movement's ideology but acts by themselves. The Unabomber was a nut who sent out mail bombs because he had a gripe with modern technology.


So. An Amish conspiracy?
 
2013-04-17 09:41:31 AM  

tenpoundsofcheese: RexTalionis: tenpoundsofcheese: RexTalionis: RexTalionis: SlothB77: Second, Islamists declaring terrorism in the name of allah, with muslim groups taking responsibility, i.e., an islamic terrorist group took credit for the failed Times Square bombing, are existential threats.

I don't think you understand the word "existential." An existential threat is one that will may have the potential to end the existence to the thing that the threat is existential to. Unless those Islamists apparently also have hundreds of nuclear weapons aimed at us, it is not an existential threat.

People just like to use the word "existential threat" as a short-hand for "wow, I'm really worried, look at me pissing in my pants and soiling myself." Stop it. It's sloppy. It's inaccurate. It's intellectually dishonest and it's stupid.

Actually, I'm going to clarify that sentence a bit. See how I'm trying to be precise about my meaning? Try doing that instead of hand-wringing, teeth-gnashing fear-mongering.

If you are being precise, what do you mean by "end the existence to the thing"
?

ex·ist·ence
noun/igˈzistəns/
existences, plural

The fact or state of living or having objective reality- the plane was the oldest Boeing remaining in existence- the need to acknowledge the existence of a problemContinued survival- she helped to keep the company alive when its very existence was threatenedA way of living- living in a city was more expensive than a rural existenceAny of a person's supposed current, future, or past lives on this earth- reaping the consequences of evil deeds sown in previous existencesA being or entityAll that exists

So shouldn't it by

"End the existence OF the thing "
?

Since you were trying to be precise.


If you are going to troll someone by nitpicking their sentence structure, grammar, or misappropriate use of words you should learn how to spell the word "be"  there slapnuts. Now everyone thinks not only are you an arsehole, but also a mendicant, retard, and possibly drunk and/or stoned on paint thinner. Or should I say VARSOL just to be precise?
 
2013-04-17 09:42:09 AM  

Jackson Herring: Pocket Ninja: Can you imagine if he turns out to be gay? Hoooo boy, that would muddy the water.

How about a gay lone wolf terrorist who had a brief career as an abortion doctor specializing in late-term abortions.

Oh, oh, I know. I gay lone wolf former late-term abortionist terrorist who owns over a dozen handguns and automatic rifles all purchased at gun shows. And he entered the country illegally 15 years ago and has been living here ever since. And he's an atheist.

An atheist, gay, undocumented immigrant former late-term abortion providing and non-background-checked gun owning lone wolf terrorist. Now  thatwould be something.

also he's a brony


also he's vegan
 
2013-04-17 09:42:40 AM  

HAMMERTOE: Where is the media fury? Where are the liberal cries to outlaw evil-looking "assault bombs"? Where are the cries to outlaw explosive substances wholesale? Explosive substances have but one purpose, (to ignite and burn explosively and destructively,) just like "guns have but one purpose, to kill." Where are the cries for background checks to purchase gasoline, or limiting possession to say, seven gallons at a time, no matter what size the gas tank?

Eh, no ulterior motives, I guess.


The bomb didn't use gasoline, it used--wait for it--gun powder.
 
2013-04-17 09:43:15 AM  

muck4doo: Ecobuckeye: Mohammad I'm Hard Bruce Lee: [i.imgur.com image 850x444]

Kyle Orton?

Not enough neck beard


Andrew Luck?
 
2013-04-17 09:44:36 AM  

muck4doo: Wendy's Chili: SlothB77: Second, Islamists declaring terrorism in the name of allah, with muslim groups taking responsibility, i.e., an islamic terrorist group took credit for the failed Times Square bombing, are existential threats.

Standing next to an IED made by a white guy poses the same threat to your existence as standing next to one made by an Arab guy.

This seems like a good place for an old fashion Polish joke.


I was actually thinking that when I wrote it.
 
2013-04-17 09:44:47 AM  
PocketNinja is on fire today ... bahahahahahaha.
 
2013-04-17 09:44:57 AM  

Ohlookabutterfly: If you are going to troll someone by nitpicking their sentence structure, grammar, or misappropriate use of words you should learn how to spell the word "be"  there slapnuts. Now everyone thinks not only are you an arsehole, but also a mendicant, retard, and possibly drunk and/or stoned on paint thinner. Or should I say VARSOL just to be precise?


Question, and I usually just find said person stupid enough to not pay attention to, but... what the screaming fark is he  talking about? There's trolling and being antagonistic, and then there's nitpicking about grammar like you're autistic.
 
2013-04-17 09:45:19 AM  

whowhatwhy.com

White, male, lone wolf.  Probably a brony too.

 
2013-04-17 09:45:28 AM  

FLMountainMan: Nabb1: Someone got paid to write this sniveling piece of drivel?

It's not like you paid to read it though.....


Well, I read it before it went green, so in a sense, I did. Oh, well. You win some. You lose some.
 
2013-04-17 09:46:30 AM  
Salon: you move to the left, then so do they.
 
2013-04-17 09:48:00 AM  
comiczine-fa.com
 
2013-04-17 09:48:11 AM  
Fairly successful troll by Salon.com. Has some key attributes to a good troll. Juvenile thinking and conclusions dressed up to sound intellectual for the weak minded. Also includes the standard liberal race baiting.

Then again, since the site lives on being trollish and creating content for the sole purpose of being linked to on news aggregators, not unexpected.

3/10
 
2013-04-17 09:48:26 AM  

S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: from the troll article:

"White privilege is knowing that if this bomber turns out to be white, the United States government will not bomb whatever corn field or mountain town or stale suburb from which said bomber came.."

Apparently you've missed this conversation in the news the last 2 months:

[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

Yes, it's illegal for us to carpet bomb domestic terrorists, because they're CITIZENS and therefore protected by our legal justice system rights.

But don't worry, we're working on getting around it.


Well, if Waco and Ruby Ridge are anything to go by, after the feds blow someone up, a simple "oops" should cover it.
 
2013-04-17 09:48:53 AM  

Wendy's Chili: The bomb didn't use gasoline, it used--wait for it--gun powder.


Point conceded. Are you saying it couldn't have used gasoline? Gasoline can burn explosively as well, a fact that allows the internal combustion engine to operate. but, I wasn't making any distinction here. Explosive substances are explosive substances.
 
2013-04-17 09:49:45 AM  
Domestic guy taking out the legs of a bunch of people in Boston?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
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