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(The Onion)   This is a tragedy. Does it really matter just how many are dead or what any of the details are? --NY Post editor   (theonion.com) divider line 19
    More: Satire, body counts, Boston Marathon  
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11967 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Apr 2013 at 12:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-17 12:14:01 AM
5 votes:
I hate The Onion. If I want to read fake news, I'll read the NY Post or Fox News.
2013-04-17 01:55:38 AM
3 votes:

TwowheelinTim: What I'm getting from this thread is that y'all are a bunch of television addicts.

You all can't seem to turn the f**king thing off, yet you all b**ch about the sh***y content.

KILL YOUR TVs MORANS!!!


Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television
2013-04-17 12:49:12 AM
3 votes:
Clearly, what we need is more reporting about the quality of the reporting of how the media reported events in the wake of the initial reporting.
2013-04-17 12:43:51 AM
3 votes:
I'm sure they'll take this opportunity to reflect on past mistakes, learn from them and come out a stronger, better news organization in the future.
2013-04-17 12:20:27 AM
3 votes:

MidnightSnacks: Did the Onion just cross into Poe territory?


Baltimore?
2013-04-17 12:32:45 AM
2 votes:

luxup: The Onion should do an in-depth investigation into the last time it was actually funny.

Never understood how it's lasted.


Stick with Cracked, then. Seems to be more your speed.
2013-04-17 12:23:47 AM
2 votes:
All I cared about in the moment was giving our readers a vague, erroneous conception of what was happening on the ground while also beating our competitors to the punch with a more sensationalistic story.

Thanks ObamaCare?
2013-04-17 12:22:16 AM
2 votes:
I would estimate that around 2/3 of the time, the Onion completely fails to be funny due to the high quality of their satire. The other 1/3, they accidentally predict the future.
2013-04-17 03:46:35 AM
1 votes:
Congrats, USA - You're growing up.

Dealing with trauma by gaining a streak of dark and cheeky sense of humor is a sign of maturity.
2013-04-17 02:17:54 AM
1 votes:

TwowheelinTim: What I'm getting from this thread is that y'all are a bunch of television addicts.

You all can't seem to turn the f**king thing off, yet you all b**ch about the sh***y content.

KILL YOUR TVs MORANS!!!


But the New York Post was my favorite TV show!
2013-04-17 02:14:38 AM
1 votes:
Hey Baby,
The New York Post is reporting that I have a twelve-inch penis.
2013-04-17 02:14:23 AM
1 votes:
Achievement Unlocked:  Administration Accountability
2013-04-17 01:46:38 AM
1 votes:

Lenny_da_Hog: evaned: Lenny_da_Hog: I was recounting to some whippersnappers last night about how Walter Cronkite and CBS would have handled this story if it had happened in 1970 or so:

"Today in Boston, two bombs exploded at the finish line of the Boston Marathon, killing 3 and injuring dozens. [film rolls from helicopter flyover] A third bomb was found and safely detonated by explosives experts. There are currently no suspects and no group has claimed responsibility for the bombings. Authorities from several local, state, and federal agencies are investigating.

"In Phnom Penh today....."

Eh, I'm not so sure. I definitely don't want to argue that they'd be as bad as now, but you're underplaying it a bit I think. You can look on YouTube and find the CBS broadcast from the afternoon Kennedy was shot; Cronkite was breaking into the broadcast often with information which had just arrived.

Not comparable events, though. The assassination of the president was an event that affected everyone, first of all -- a bombing in Boston does not affect people world-wide. Second of all, they only ran with facts once confirmed. They were showing fallout, Johnson taking command, the reactions of world leaders, etc., etc. They actually had information to dish out -- they weren't filling time with speculation and panic over what it *might* mean.


And for sure there weren't fifteen reporters running up to random passersby: "How did you feel? What did you do?" and eliciting fifteen identical responses: "I was scared. I shiat myself." "Wow, really? And what was it like?" "It was really scary."
2013-04-17 01:15:33 AM
1 votes:

ransack.: Lenny_da_Hog: I was recounting to some whippersnappers last night about how Walter Cronkite and CBS would have handled this story if it had happened in 1970 or so:

"Today in Boston, two bombs exploded at the finish line of the Boston Marathon, killing 3 and injuring dozens. [film rolls from helicopter flyover] A third bomb was found and safely detonated by explosives experts. There are currently no suspects and no group has claimed responsibility for the bombings. Authorities from several local, state, and federal agencies are investigating.

"In Phnom Penh today....."

Were there a lot of bombs in Boston back then? I wasn't around until the mid-80s.



The point is Cronkite et. al. didn't dally with the story and just stuck with the facts. Once they reported it, they moved on. The problem with the 24 hour news cycle is that it is on for 24 hours, so these moronic stations fill the air with repetitive drivel, editorial commentary, and meaningless information.

"We have live on the scene our beat reporter Jack WhiteSmile. Jack, can you tell us anything about the mood down at street level of the crime? How are the residents handling this, and is there any mention of an ultimatum or ownership claim from the terrorist group that did this?"

"Yes, Wolfie, I am here just feet away from where this terrible explosion occurred. Several witnesses reported hearing a loud noise, like a thundercrack, and then billowing smoke poured out of the side of the building. The police have told people to stay inside their homes, and people feel scared and confused and blah blah shiat we already know and can infer but let's keep talking about it for the next hour. Let me interview some stupendous dumbasses who should never be near a microphone let alone on TV..."
2013-04-17 01:08:48 AM
1 votes:

Mrbogey: [hereandnow.wbur.org image 497x317]
Agrees

/hotlink


Ooh, yeah... I'd rod her ham if you know what I mean
2013-04-17 01:00:50 AM
1 votes:
"Let us not bicker and argue about who killed who."

/the writing in Monty Python is MUCH better than the ny post
//at least MP is intentionally funny
2013-04-17 12:57:01 AM
1 votes:
Get the widow on the set. We need dirty laundry.
2013-04-17 12:36:04 AM
1 votes:

Speaker2Animals: luxup: The Onion should do an in-depth investigation into the last time it was actually funny.

Never understood how it's lasted.

Stick with Cracked, then. Seems to be more your speed.


Ouch.  Cracked isn't that bad.

//I like both.
2013-04-17 12:17:51 AM
1 votes:
Man, the Onion really does nail that knife-edge.
 
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