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(Bleacher Report)   Rookie receiver fails drug test at NFL combine for excessive dihydrogen monoxide in his system, obviously a DHMO addict   (bleacherreport.com ) divider line
    More: Silly, NFL Scouting Combine, dihydrogen monoxides, Keenan Allen, NFL, drug tests, versatility, Adam Schefter  
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3162 clicks; posted to Sports » on 17 Apr 2013 at 3:15 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-04-16 11:51:28 PM  
They oughta test the entire league for this.  I bet not one of 'em would pass.
 
2013-04-16 11:57:13 PM  
Shiat, that's not good. I heard that stuff was leaking out of the faucets in Florida, maybe that would give him a pass if he could prove he was there.
 
2013-04-17 12:28:43 AM  
Water loading is a stupid way to try and beat a drug test
 
2013-04-17 02:07:21 AM  
obviously a DHMO addict

Literally every single person in my neighborhood is. It sucks. They even keep huge loads in concrete pits in their backyard and then roll around in it.
 
2013-04-17 02:43:53 AM  
Because it worked so well last week, subby?
 
2013-04-17 03:18:24 AM  
http://www.dhmo.org/
 
2013-04-17 03:23:21 AM  
So I guess they are really thinking he's just trying to hide something and is taking something like estrogen to hide it?
 
2013-04-17 04:39:23 AM  
I had to retake a drug test once for the same thing. It was a long drive and I had drunk too much pop on the way there. By the time I got to test I had to piss like a horse. Anyway they said my sample was too diluted and had to retake it.
 
2013-04-17 05:26:45 AM  
stupid DHMO jokes aside, we are failing athletes based on water now?

It was bad enough when simple, innocent female fertility drugs and fertilizers were considered problems....
 
2013-04-17 05:35:19 AM  

I sound fat: stupid DHMO jokes aside, we are failing athletes based on water now?


If they ever legalize drugs, what would these testing corporations do?
/think of the children!
 
2013-04-17 06:54:27 AM  
Drinking excessive water dilutes urine and if someone is taking a banned substances that occurs naturally such as HCG or testosterone, there is a tolerance for how high you can have it. Drink enough water, pass the test.
 
2013-04-17 07:11:23 AM  

octopied: Drinking excessive water dilutes urine and if someone is taking a banned substances that occurs naturally such as HCG or testosterone, there is a tolerance for how high you can have it. Drink enough water, pass the test.


Well, if subby wasn't an idiot he would have understood that. If Bleacher Report were an actual news organization, they would have explained it in their article.
 
2013-04-17 07:49:55 AM  
Here's the part of this I don't understand: Especially here in Florida, hydration is slammed down our throats every day. Shouldn't the piss test measure the norm for a users body, since they're AA freaks anyhow?

Has the athlete in question taken 47 piss tests in a row now (since like 9th grade) and had ALL of them come back as 'high water content' cause he works out two hours a day and his after school job on the farm is outside? Then his piss test now comes back as high water? That should be normal for him when looking at the history. Move on already.
 
2013-04-17 07:54:04 AM  
Why do they even drug test? Everyone in the NFL is on the juice. And I don't just mean dihydrogen monoxide.
 
2013-04-17 08:40:37 AM  

CheatCommando: octopied: Drinking excessive water dilutes urine and if someone is taking a banned substances that occurs naturally such as HCG or testosterone, there is a tolerance for how high you can have it. Drink enough water, pass the test.

Well, if subby wasn't an idiot he would have understood that. If Bleacher Report were an actual news organization, they would have explained it in their article.


1) The name is awesome
2) Spot-on
 
2013-04-17 09:17:32 AM  
A very skeptical part of me thinks that they're more interested in keeping players from smoking up than from juicing.
 
2013-04-17 09:27:52 AM  
Hydrogen oxide, dumbasses. Is H2S called dihydrogen monosulfide? No, it's called hydrogen sulfide.
 
2013-04-17 09:30:27 AM  
The absence of evidence does not make one guilty. They retested as they should.  This is a non-story until the results are in from the 2nd test
 
2013-04-17 09:59:41 AM  

meanmutton: CheatCommando: octopied: Drinking excessive water dilutes urine and if someone is taking a banned substances that occurs naturally such as HCG or testosterone, there is a tolerance for how high you can have it. Drink enough water, pass the test.

Well, if subby wasn't an idiot he would have understood that. If Bleacher Report were an actual news organization, they would have explained it in their article.

1) The name is awesome
2) Spot-on


I wonder if CNN realizes how many pageviews they've lost by switching to BR from SI? I understand this may be part of the effort by AOL to sell the magazine business, but I used to get my sports news by going to CNN and clicking on the Sports link. Now I go straight to SI.com or even (shudder) The World Wide Leader, because even the Tebow Network is better than the stinking pile of dog feces that is Bleacher Report.
 
2013-04-17 10:06:41 AM  
If we took all the drug testers in the world and put them all into a single room, then doused it with gasoline and set it on fire, I would enjoy my sports a whole lot more.

But then that's just me.
 
2013-04-17 10:29:27 AM  

CheatCommando: meanmutton: CheatCommando: octopied: Drinking excessive water dilutes urine and if someone is taking a banned substances that occurs naturally such as HCG or testosterone, there is a tolerance for how high you can have it. Drink enough water, pass the test.

Well, if subby wasn't an idiot he would have understood that. If Bleacher Report were an actual news organization, they would have explained it in their article.

1) The name is awesome
2) Spot-on

I wonder if CNN realizes how many pageviews they've lost by switching to BR from SI? I understand this may be part of the effort by AOL to sell the magazine business, but I used to get my sports news by going to CNN and clicking on the Sports link. Now I go straight to SI.com or even (shudder) The World Wide Leader, because even the Tebow Network is better than the stinking pile of dog feces that is Bleacher Report.


The funny part is that SI.com is still hosted by CNN, they just don't link to it anymore. Check out the URL next time you're there
 
2013-04-17 11:52:32 AM  
octopied  

Drinking excessive water dilutes urine and if someone is taking a banned substances that occurs naturally such as HCG or testosterone, there is a tolerance for how high you can have it. Drink enough water, pass the test.
Lance?
 
2013-04-17 12:47:04 PM  
It's a fun little molecule.

/I miss Archer already!
 
2013-04-17 01:24:19 PM  
What drug would cause suspiciously high levels of water in your system?
 
2013-04-17 03:44:54 PM  

abhorrent1: What drug would cause suspiciously high levels of water in your system?


1) water. As I explained obviously water itself isn't the problem, it's a masking agent.

2) Diuretics.
 
2013-04-17 04:50:26 PM  

Palmer Eldritch: Hydrogen oxide, dumbasses. Is H2S called dihydrogen monosulfide? No, it's called hydrogen sulfide.


Oxide - at LEAST one oxygen molecule and another element.

So dihydrogen monooxide is a subset of hydrogen oxides.

Dumbass.
 
2013-04-17 07:47:32 PM  

CheatCommando: Well, if subby wasn't an idiot he would have understood that.


Subby got the green, and you didn't. Green light is a green light.
 
2013-04-17 08:05:40 PM  

Kurmudgeon: CheatCommando: Well, if subby wasn't an idiot he would have understood that.

Subby got the green, and you didn't. Green light is a green light.


Yeah, as my Dad used to say, the First Amendment guarantees you have a God given right to make an ass of yourself in public.

Or do you think Bieber has musical talent because of his popularity?
 
2013-04-18 09:23:40 AM  
 
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