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(Huffington Post)   Sex is bad, birth control is bad, you're bad and you should feel bad   ( divider line
    More: Asinine, Pam Stenzel, birth control, safer sex, sexual education, physical educations, Castor and Pollux, premarital sex, 10th grade  
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12485 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Apr 2013 at 3:28 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-04-15 02:56:58 PM  
15 votes:
"I could look at any one of you in the eyes right now and tell if you're going to be promiscuous,"

shiat, I wish I had that ability.
2013-04-15 04:01:02 PM  
5 votes:

Tommy Moo: we were ruining God's will for our lives by... not maintaining six inches of space.

I blame God for the fact that I can't have sex with someone more than six inches away from me.
2013-04-15 03:34:41 PM  
5 votes:
If you don't enjoy masturbation, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
2013-04-15 03:24:50 PM  
4 votes:
Stenzel, who reportedly gets paid between $4,000 and $6,000 for each talk she gives, is well known for her aggressive rhetoric. (According to her website, she's appeared on "The Dr. Laura Show," "The 700 Club" and "Politically Correct with Bill Maher," as well as being included in President George W. Bush's Faith-Based and Community Initiatives meeting in 2001.) In a YouTube video of one of her presentations, she tells the crowd of students that "no one has ever had more than one [sexual] partner and not paid" and that a girl taking birth control "could end up sterile or dead."

I am willing to bet she is the town bicycle.
2013-04-15 03:38:37 PM  
3 votes:
Feeling bad isn't enough -- I want to fell dirty.

/welcoming BIE
2013-04-15 03:33:21 PM  
3 votes:

DrunkenBob: The only right move is to train your sperm to chase it's own tail.

Millions of little ouroboros sperm, rolling about like hula hoops....
2013-04-15 03:28:52 PM  
3 votes:
The only right move is to train your sperm to chase it's own tail.
2013-04-15 03:24:54 PM  
3 votes:
Mrs. Samurai suffers from endometriosis/ovarian cysts.  Birth control is a necessary medication; otherwise the pain is completely debilitating.  For the first year of puberty, doctors were hesitant to prescribe birth control because "no one at 13 should be on the pill".  Thankfully the 3-month shots mean it's not a problem, but I guess that's still taking birth control so she's obviously a horrible person to this biatch.


I'd also call you a coont, but it's clear you lack the warmth or the depth.
2013-04-15 06:07:42 PM  
2 votes:

stevetherobot: Foundling: I'm a gay man with a vasectomy so I guess she has nightmares about me.

What was the vasectomy for?

He didn't want to give birth to a lawyer.
2013-04-15 04:20:35 PM  
2 votes:

"Hi, I'm in severe denial about the fact that nobody wants to have sex with me, so I'm going to make other people feel bad about their own feelings."
2013-04-15 04:18:56 PM  
2 votes:
I attended a public school in a very progressive area in Maryland. When I was in 10th grade, we had a speaker come into our one-semester health class -- which was being taught by the football coach who could not bring himself to say the word "vagina."

Whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
2013-04-15 03:48:01 PM  
2 votes:
I'm a gay man with a vasectomy so I guess she has nightmares about me.
2013-04-15 03:45:05 PM  
2 votes:
I met this coont at Kingdom Bound like 15 years ago. I remember her trying to discourage not just sex, but any and all sexuality outside of husband and wife, including suggesting that we were ruining God's will for our lives by kissing, hugging too long, not maintaining six inches of space, and "thinking impure thoughts" (i.e. masturbating.) I remember her big ta-dah moment was when she revealed that some sexually transmitted diseases can be communicated just from skin-to-skin contact. I raised my hand and asked "Well then they aren't sexually transmitted diseases, are they?"

She was not amused.
2013-04-15 03:36:51 PM  
2 votes:
"My job as an officer is to make sure you kids are safe, but, truth be told, I can't be everywhere at once. I don't care if you're wearing a short skirt, I don't care if you're wearing dungarees, I don't care if you smell bad, I don't care if you're fun to be around. But you can be rest assured that everyone of you, at some point is gonna be raped. "
2013-04-15 08:08:08 PM  
1 vote:
That's right, I am a bad bad girl, but only in the best possible way.  And I feel fine about it.
2013-04-15 07:13:02 PM  
1 vote:
I am morally superior.  I've been practicing abstinence for months now.  Ever since my wife left.....  I don't want to be morally superior anymore.
2013-04-15 06:03:29 PM  
1 vote:

stevetherobot: Foundling: I'm a gay man with a vasectomy so I guess she has nightmares about me.

What was the vasectomy for?

Someone doesn't like pulp in their "orange juice"?
2013-04-15 05:56:28 PM  
1 vote:
I farked a fat girl last night and I do feel bad.
2013-04-15 05:20:48 PM  
1 vote:
hmmm, perhaps I should have phrased that differently.
2013-04-15 04:54:36 PM  
1 vote:
fine i won't have sex
lets play BACKGAMMON instead!!
2013-04-15 04:36:57 PM  
1 vote:

Foundling: I'm a gay man with a vasectomy so I guess she has nightmares about me.

What was the vasectomy for?
2013-04-15 04:27:08 PM  
1 vote:

FunkOut: Kids who are made to feel ashamed are usually the ones who go have sex, have something go wrong, and then keep mum about it until things get really bad. Like a girl who picks up gonnorhea and doesn't go to the doctor until the ovarian scarring has made her infertile.

See, she had sex and ended up infertile. That proves the point.

/No, I'm not being sarcastic AT ALL.
2013-04-15 03:58:45 PM  
1 vote:

Princess Ryans Knickers: Only reason they would think sex is bad is if they are secretly gay.

No, they say it's only sex outside marriage that's bad. Doesn't explain why they get married and then have sex outside of marriage anyway. Except that they're a bunch of hypocritical assholes.
2013-04-15 03:54:26 PM  
1 vote:
And I want all your names!
And numbers
And details on just how bad you are.....
2013-04-15 03:49:42 PM  
1 vote:
I do feel bad. So very bad. I need to be punished.
2013-04-15 03:49:16 PM  
1 vote:
I thought safe sex in West Virginia was making sure your brother locked the door...

Seriously, this woman should be ashamed of herself....but i don't think she has any shame to being with. Such lies and falsehoods can really screw up a kid. Sex is ok, it's not dirty (but keep the wet wipes handy). Use birth control. Be extremely picky about partners.Don't scare and shame kids about sex.
2013-04-15 03:48:49 PM  
1 vote:
West Virginia...........where parents teach their children about sex in the wrong way.
2013-04-15 03:43:56 PM  
1 vote:
I dooooooooooooooooooo!  ^_^
2013-04-15 03:43:48 PM  
1 vote:
I went to Catholic school. For our senior retreat, they had a speaker who showed us graphic photos of abortions and dead fetuses, then the girls and boys were split up. I really don't remember much about they boys' presentation, but female friends later told us that their presentation went like this:

They were showed a big tank of water, representing their virginity. Into the water, they poured ink or dirt or something. This was premarital sex sullying their virginity (which makes god very sad, naturally). Then they poured iodine or something into the tank, which cleaned it up a bit ("secondary" virginity, or a re-commitment to abstaining from premarital sex), but some of the muck remained -- you can never be totally clean ever again.
2013-04-15 03:42:30 PM  
1 vote:
Look, I can be a staunch conservative myself, but I love being dirtier than this woman would have given me credit for.

/ooh, ooh, oooooohhh...!
2013-04-15 03:38:49 PM  
1 vote:
Where in the hell was this weirdo during my nine or so years of sex ed in school? Maybe then I would've stayed awake.
2013-04-15 03:33:48 PM  
1 vote:
And yet I feel good about all of it.
2013-04-15 03:02:34 PM  
1 vote:
So bad, baby.
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