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(CNN)   Move over liberal arts degree, it's time to earn that M.A. in Starbucks' Barista Basics with a minor in Jiffy Lube's finance fundamentals   (money.cnn.com) divider line 37
    More: Silly, Jiffy Lube, college credit, Barista Basics, Starbucks, Massachusetts, adult educations, Pepperdine University, bachelor degree  
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4744 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Apr 2013 at 3:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-15 12:42:41 PM  
a.tgcdn.net
Snow Crash predicted this moment, too.
 
2013-04-15 02:14:26 PM  
I got my JD from Costco.
 
2013-04-15 02:25:31 PM  
Both of which will most likely be more marketable than a degree in reading old books most people find boring as all hell, dated, and poorly written when compared to later works.
 
2013-04-15 02:37:30 PM  
Jennifer Government?
 
2013-04-15 02:50:52 PM  
Will Hooters offer a Women's Studies program?
 
2013-04-15 02:52:42 PM  
When I grow up I want to go to Bovine University.
 
2013-04-15 03:03:12 PM  

LordZorch: Both of which will most likely be more marketable than a degree in reading old books most people find boring as all hell, dated, and poorly written when compared to later works.


[readingsforf*gs.jpg]
 
2013-04-15 03:11:49 PM  
So you can get a Wal-Mart Bachelor in "being on farking break forever and leaving the tills empty when there's dozens of people in line?"
 
2013-04-15 03:16:03 PM  
Oh good we're finally on the way back to company towns. I was wondering when that would start up again.
 
2013-04-15 03:16:57 PM  

SultanofSchwing: So you can get a Wal-Mart Bachelor in "being on farking break forever and leaving the tills empty when there's dozens of people in line?"


After graduating you learn how to tell the line of people something that only mostly pisses them off.
 
2013-04-15 03:17:56 PM  
You done goofed, 'murica.
 
2013-04-15 03:18:17 PM  

king_nacho: SultanofSchwing: So you can get a Wal-Mart Bachelor in "being on farking break forever and leaving the tills empty when there's dozens of people in line?"

After graduating you learn how to tell the line of people something that only mostly pisses them off.


"Turning the Open Light off after someone lined up for 20 minutes and looking like a frumpy mother of 8" 101.
 
2013-04-15 03:18:41 PM  

Taxcheat: Will Hooters offer a Women's Studies program?


Of course not. They want their employees to be employable.
 
2013-04-15 03:18:51 PM  

Taxcheat: Will Hooters offer a Women's Studies program?


Oh, fark you, that was good vodak my keyboard just absorbed.

/Please don't tell the boss or he'll want some, too.
 
2013-04-15 03:18:52 PM  

LordZorch: Both of which will most likely be more marketable than a degree in reading old books most people find boring as all hell, dated, and poorly written when compared to later works.


Everything you write reads like the script to a deleted scene from Idiocracy.
 
2013-04-15 03:19:54 PM  
SIGN ME UP
 
2013-04-15 03:21:10 PM  
Busterburger University
 
2013-04-15 03:21:42 PM  

Featured Farker: I got my JD from Costco.


Me too. I couldn't believe it when I was accepted. I was actually just about to sign up at my safety school.
 
2013-04-15 03:23:02 PM  
You can't get hired by these places and learn how to do these things in a day?

What the fark is going on?
 
2013-04-15 03:24:49 PM  
*walks in*

antidisestablishmentarianism:
Jennifer Government?

Seeing as  this is taken care of: these classes are part of the new slavery since the classes are valid nowhere besides the company in which you took the classes.

All those classes Ms. Suarez has taken through Wal-Mart? They (and all the time/energy/effort she has put in those classes) become useless the day Wal-Mart fires/downsizes her.
 
2013-04-15 03:26:08 PM  
From an employer's perspective it's kind of a step in the right direction.  There's an unrealistic expectation to pay someone more money because they got a degree from passing 90 hours of electives like Art Survey I and Music Appreciation II.  Perhaps rather than making that investment they can use that toward a specific training program.  With that training your employees are more valuable to you but not so much elsewhere.
The idea that you can have a steady job but don't have to spend $150K to sit through Art Survey I and the likes may be attractive to some prospective employees.
 
GBB
2013-04-15 03:26:59 PM  
WalMart needs to change it's degree requirements.   Currently, Effective Black Friday Strategies is an elective, while Customer Avoidance 1 & 2 are core classes.
 
2013-04-15 03:28:28 PM  
Ah, yes. My days at Hamburger University. Those were the halcyon days of my youth. I majored in Fries but minored in Milk Shakes. No one was going for the Bachelor of Meat back then. The market was flooded with Grill Sergeants. That degree was a BM that no one wanted to see on a diploma.

Fries were the money maker. Talk to a chick in a bar and telling her you were in to tubers was the fastest way in to her panties. You had to prove it tough. No girl would fall for the "Hi. I'm in Fries. A salt me" line without asking you about grease boiling points and potato temperature differentials. Gawd. I hated learning that chart but it paid off.

Took my degree right to the big McD and got a job as Fry Technician First Class. I was very lucky, Mr. Vader, the shift manager had just strangled his previous Fry Technician for not dropping fries at an appropriate time. It was a mistake I would never make.

/not obscure
http://squackle.com/7717/media/darth-vaders-first-job/
 
2013-04-15 03:30:18 PM  

LordZorch: Both of which will most likely be more marketable than a degree in reading old books most people find boring as all hell, dated, and poorly written when compared to later works.


Just out of curiosity, what's an example of a book an English major might read that you consider "poorly written" and what's a better-written later work?
 
2013-04-15 03:31:14 PM  

espiaboricua: *walks in*

antidisestablishmentarianism: Jennifer Government?

Seeing as  this is taken care of: these classes are part of the new slavery since the classes are valid nowhere besides the company in which you took the classes.

All those classes Ms. Suarez has taken through Wal-Mart? They (and all the time/energy/effort she has put in those classes) become useless the day Wal-Mart fires/downsizes her.


I actually think the opposite. Though obviously other retailers won't be on the same if any credit system, having said things on your resume reads better than some vaguely worded "responsibilities" line. Certainly that helps land another job.

And 4-5 years of of college, most employers could give two shaits what you went to school for.
 
2013-04-15 03:33:26 PM  
maxbarry.com
 
2013-04-15 04:04:20 PM  
Sort of threadjack, but learn this all the same:

rasiel.com
 
2013-04-15 04:08:21 PM  
Not sure this is that big of a deal. 

I get kinda pissed off when I hear about U.S. companies whining when they can't get "skilled workers" to man their assembly lines and man their clean rooms. Used to be (adjusts onion belt) companies trained their workers to do the job they hired them to do. Now, like the butt-hurt little biatchy "job-creator" socialist leeches they have become, many of those bootstrappy business genius expect the evil gubermint to edumacate the labor force specific to their uniquely needed skill set. I don't want to defend Walmart, but it seems that they are cataloguing job training, is all.

This, it seems, is taking OJT and assigning the skills acquired to some cutsey little marketed package. The degree doesn't mean a damn thing beyond the walls of the corporate hellhole the worker has indentured themselves to, but it makes it easier for managers and HR guys to determine who has what skills.
 
2013-04-15 04:34:21 PM  

Featured Farker: I got my JD from Costco.


"I love you."
 
2013-04-15 05:13:36 PM  
BRITAIN basics include bangers and mash
 
2013-04-15 07:40:39 PM  

SN1987a goes boom: LordZorch: Both of which will most likely be more marketable than a degree in reading old books most people find boring as all hell, dated, and poorly written when compared to later works.

Everything you write reads like the script to a deleted scene from Idiocracy.


Was there supposed to be a "zing" in there?  It seemed like you intended for one, but since you're not nearly as witty as you deem yourself to be, it went missing....
 
2013-04-15 08:38:28 PM  
Actually, I think this is a good idea.  If your corporate training class does teach actual knowledge, what's wrong with getting college credit for it?  Especially if the employer goes through to trouble to get it certified.

The military has been doing this for a long time, with pretty good results.  Pretty much any training you get in the military could translate into college credit.  Granted some of it is pretty arcane - I have three credits in Soviet Defensive Missile Systems - but it means that there's less college classes to sit through and less money to pay in tuition when it comes time to actually get that degree.
 
2013-04-15 08:49:02 PM  
This article might as well have been written by the PR department at Walmart.

Look, there's an obvious reason for offering school credit: it means the company doesn't have to pay a wage. A trainee who is not receiving school credit would have to be paid. I have some questions this article doesn't answer. 1) Are they receiving state funding as well? 2) God forbid, are the students actually paying fees to the college for their training?

And get a load of this air of entitlement. From the article:

A growing number of Fortune 500 companies, like Walmart, have grown tired of waiting for colleges and universities to produce the skilled workers they need and have started offering their own classes instead.

Public universities do not exist to provide Walmart and Jiffy Lube with employees trained for job-specific tasks! fark you very much. I'm so old that I remember when an educated populace was considered something good for its own sake. Something like clean air and attractive public spaces. Something essential to the functioning of democracy. And yes, something that also happened to produce workers who had the skills to be trained for complex tasks.
 
2013-04-15 11:50:46 PM  

GBB: WalMart needs to change it's degree requirements.   Currently, Effective Black Friday Strategies is an elective, while Customer Avoidance 1 & 2 are core classes.


They have an ethics course. I'm fairly certain they'll let you CLEP it so you can register for the Black Friday one.
 
2013-04-16 12:06:37 AM  
If you are going to have kids with a house and a yard taking a course in Sand Box makes sense.  Couldn't hurt to throw in a Lunch Box 101 while they are at it.
 
2013-04-16 12:11:00 AM  

Nana's Vibrator: From an employer's perspective it's kind of a step in the right direction.  There's an unrealistic expectation to pay someone more money because they got a degree from passing 90 hours of electives like Art Survey I and Music Appreciation II.  Perhaps rather than making that investment they can use that toward a specific training program.  With that training your employees are more valuable to you but not so much elsewhere.
The idea that you can have a steady job but don't have to spend $150K to sit through Art Survey I and the likes may be attractive to some prospective employees.


It all depends on the degree, the problem with many college graduates now is that the only thing they want is a degree, not an education. High schools spend too much time preparing you for college, that when students show up they don't know what they actually want to do. College students should have a reasonable idea of what type of job they want to do by the time they show up, and then the college can help focus that. People that show up not knowing what they want to do spend two years taking electives, then just try to find something they can get a degree in quickly so they don't spend anymore money. many end up with business, communications, or other degrees, and have no desire to actually advance in those fields.

It sucks, students rack up millions in load debt per year for an education they don't particularly want because they have to go to college right out high school. One of the best (and worst) things to ever happen to me was getting kicked out school initially and being able to work at a few different places and work in different sectors before coming back to school. Gave me a better appreciation for college, and actually helps you understand the point of some of those seemingly pointless classes.
 
2013-04-16 12:23:20 AM  

king_nacho: High schools spend too much time preparing you for college,


I don't think so. The high schools seem to be graduating illiterates. But....so do the universities, so I guess it all works out.
 
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