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(Zee News India)   Kim Jong Un went out for a bag of pork rinds two weeks ago and has not been heard from since   (zeenews.india.com) divider line 73
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16714 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Apr 2013 at 6:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-15 06:45:08 AM
And nothing of value was lost.
 
2013-04-15 06:45:43 AM
He drank a gallon of Hennessy and choked to death on his own vomit while in his gold plated bathtub.
 
2013-04-15 06:46:28 AM
I think I saw him flipping burgers in Compton
 
2013-04-15 06:46:48 AM
Hopefully, China is having a little..."talk" with him.
 
2013-04-15 06:50:41 AM
If he doesn't show up for an event celebrating his grandfather today, I might take this seriously. Or he could be expecting a Nuclear Strike in Best Korea and is busy checking out posts on kijiji for fridges, the only safe place during a nuclear strike.
 
2013-04-15 06:51:57 AM
Well, hopefully his corpse was butchered and made into bacon. Course, they would have to find a tree in that blasted moonscape to cut down and burn for smoke. You don't want to eat dung-smoked bacon, after all.
 
2013-04-15 06:52:51 AM
The fat bastard is probably in hiding awaiting the impending annihilation of his army.
 
2013-04-15 06:54:53 AM
Every time you go away, you take a piece of me with you...
 
2013-04-15 06:58:08 AM

cfletch13: If he doesn't show up for an event celebrating his grandfather today, I might take this seriously.


This. If Fatty Dingdong isn't at this event then yeah things have probably gotten all coupy over in Best Korea.
 
2013-04-15 06:58:24 AM

LordJiro: Hopefully, China is having a little..."talk" with him.


 I have a feeling China is going to have a little annexation going on shortly. They are a liability to everyone right now, and as much as it will piss of the Southies, neither we nor they are in the position to get involved in the full-scale ground war of a 'regime change'.
 China has been the ones calling the shots there all along, so its not like it would be any power shift or destabilize anything.

 We might protest about it a little publicly if China moved in, but I am betting a quiet nod to China from us is not a far-fetched option right now. Save us another war or the danger of a complete uncontrolled collapse.
 
2013-04-15 07:01:17 AM
Maybe he had a snickers and had to record a music video in South Korea?
 
2013-04-15 07:01:24 AM
Have they checked the unlicensed Disney North Korea Theme Park?
 
2013-04-15 07:02:21 AM
Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Un pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
 
2013-04-15 07:03:22 AM
He was at Kim Il Sung's 101st birthday ceremony just today, in a very public way...
 
2013-04-15 07:05:18 AM

Mixolydian Master: He was at Kim Il Sung's 101st birthday ceremony just today, in a very public way...


Awww dammit I was hoping for a coup.
 
2013-04-15 07:05:45 AM
Could be final prep for an attack (making sure your leader is safe)
 
2013-04-15 07:07:45 AM
He's sneaking towards Washington with a bomb, steeling himself for the "Bok!"

tranteaches.com
 
2013-04-15 07:08:40 AM
Zee News, bringing you only the finest stories on Zee Germans since 1948.
 
2013-04-15 07:09:47 AM

Mixolydian Master: He was at Kim Il Sung's 101st birthday ceremony just today, in a very public way...


That was his doppleganger.
 
2013-04-15 07:14:06 AM
 
2013-04-15 07:15:38 AM
Maybe this is the most expensive and elaborate Aprils Fool Joke.  He did go missing on the 1st.
 
2013-04-15 07:15:41 AM
Stay on target!

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-04-15 07:16:12 AM

lifeboat: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Un pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.


+1
 
2013-04-15 07:20:30 AM

lifeboat: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Un pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.


I was gonna go with Billy Joel lyrics, but yours is better.
 
2013-04-15 07:20:46 AM
Maybe the Goddamn Batman went in and scooped him up.
 
2013-04-15 07:22:48 AM
www.aim.org
I got a wife and kids in Pyongyang, Jack.
I went out for a ride and I never came back.
 
2013-04-15 07:27:22 AM

FrancoFile: lifeboat: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Un pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

I was gonna go with Billy Joel lyrics, but yours is better.


So you're saying he's giving the stand=up routine in L.A. ?
 
2013-04-15 07:28:03 AM
How Kim talks of himself when making threats:

anarkistproductions.com

How Kim actually sees himself if shiat goes down:

www.wearysloth.com
 
2013-04-15 07:30:03 AM

TommyDeuce: FrancoFile: lifeboat: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Un pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

I was gonna go with Billy Joel lyrics, but yours is better.

So you're saying he's giving the stand=up routine in L.A. ?


Either way it's ok, you wake up with yourself.
 
2013-04-15 07:31:55 AM
PSY did just put out a new video...
 
hej
2013-04-15 07:32:21 AM
He went to Dick Cheney's undisclosed location.
 
2013-04-15 07:38:12 AM
No nukes in Brooklin!
 
2013-04-15 07:41:35 AM

hej: He went to Dick Cheney's undisclosed location.


That sounds so dirty.
 
2013-04-15 07:42:53 AM
They're keeping his office just as he left it, with a sign on the desk that says "Kim Jong Un, Glorious Supreme Leader. Missing, presumed Fed."
 
2013-04-15 07:45:39 AM
Riding the bomb takes more preparation than you think.
 
2013-04-15 07:47:04 AM
memedepot.com
 
2013-04-15 07:49:42 AM
sorry wrong thread.

  sorry that was kim jung un.

   terribbly sorry.
 
2013-04-15 07:51:26 AM
It's already evening there.  I guess they're not launching the missile on April 15th after all...
 
2013-04-15 07:54:43 AM

CliChe Guevara: LordJiro: Hopefully, China is having a little..."talk" with him.

 I have a feeling China is going to have a little annexation going on shortly. They are a liability to everyone right now, and as much as it will piss of the Southies, neither we nor they are in the position to get involved in the full-scale ground war of a 'regime change'.
 China has been the ones calling the shots there all along, so its not like it would be any power shift or destabilize anything.

 We might protest about it a little publicly if China moved in, but I am betting a quiet nod to China from us is not a far-fetched option right now. Save us another war or the danger of a complete uncontrolled collapse.


While technically easily feasible...
I'm pretty sure that 'annexing' DPRK is the equivalent of adopting a stray dog lying on the side of the road bleeding from all orifices with ebola...
No matter what natural ressources are available in DPRK, the total psychological clusterfark their people are is not something anybody want to deal with...
 
2013-04-15 07:58:48 AM
China grounded him to his room. Or they put him in time out.
 
2013-04-15 07:59:57 AM
Gone missing. NK about to launch a new missile. I have a feeling that I know exactly where he will end up.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-15 08:03:23 AM

FrancoFile: It's already evening there.  I guess they're not launching the missile on April 15th after all...


Thank god.

Tokyo's nice and all and but I'm not sure I want to be here if war were declared.

I doubt one of their bottle rockets can get past the interceptors, but Tokyo's residents are big into groupthink. When 3/11 happened it was two months before you could buy bottled water, batteries, or any canned goods worth eating. Another time a bogus report on TV that natto was good for diets and cancer, which was debunked the NEXT DAY, lead to a three week natto shortage.

If there was even the ghost of a whisper of a nuke, the grocery stores would be out of the good shiat so fast YOUR head would spin and you don't even live here.
 
2013-04-15 08:04:24 AM
i.qkme.me
 
2013-04-15 08:18:10 AM
This has the makings of the next hangover movie.
 
2013-04-15 08:21:22 AM
Hangover 4 where chubby Kim is farked in the ass by a transvestite masturbating monkey.
 
2013-04-15 08:23:40 AM
I would be very surprised if he's anything more than a figurehead at the moment. All those advisors and generals who he "inherited" from his dear dead father are still there pulling the strings. Even assuming he was minded to reform he would probably discover himself dead before he could do anything significant.
 
2013-04-15 08:24:56 AM
Naw. His tracking chip shows that he is in a compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan.
 
2013-04-15 08:25:35 AM
This isn't true... I totally saw him on SNL last weekend.
 
2013-04-15 08:27:57 AM
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-15 08:28:47 AM
Check Pakistan
 
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