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(WRCB)   From today's 'you actually paid for this study' news: Men can't read women's emotions   (wrcbtv.com) divider line 37
    More: Obvious, theory of mind, male brain, emotions  
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3978 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Apr 2013 at 3:40 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-15 02:17:40 AM
4 votes:

whither_apophis: Benevolent Misanthrope: quatchi: Benevolent Misanthrope: Speaking as a woman, I hate that passive-aggressive bullshiat.  That and "If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you."

My response to that has generally been, "Well, since I'm not a mind reader, I'm going to drop it.  Get back to me when you're ready to have an adult conversation."  Generally, girlfriends who keep it up and keep pushing get their bluff called.  And they then break up with me - which is fine, because life is too short for that crap.

You. You I like.

Oh - and here's something most men don't know - women can't read other women's emotions, either.

Oh. Well, that's a little disheartening to hear.

I know, right?  If only men could hire a lesbian friend as translator or something.

It'd be like Mrs. Cleaver speaking jive.

/"she said that you barely said 'thanks' for the roast chicken dinner and the weeds in the front bed are still there a week later."


More like, "OK - bear with me.  She went to alot of trouble to make you a dinner she know you would like, and you didn't say thanks - to her, this means that you didn't notice it, which means that you don't value her effort and you think her place is in the kitchen slaving away for you, with no expectation of thanks or reward.  Problem is, you don't do stuff for her like this - including a small thing like weeding the front bed - and she's feeling it's one-sided.  So she's starting to wonder why she does it.  And then she realizes that she loves you, and in any case she can't afford to live on her own now, ans so she starts to feel trapped.  Meanwhile, you're sitting there staring at her tits - which, at this point isn't a compliment, it's a statement of, "OK, woman - now that you've been servile to me in the kitchen, you can shut up while I f*ck you, too.  And don't expect any reciprocity there either.  Because I can."

/In a nutshell.
2013-04-15 12:28:53 AM
4 votes:

CaptSacto: 1. If she's angry and when you ask her what's wrong she says "nothing", you've done some something wrong
2. Always assume "nothing" is the answer to "What's wrong?"


Speaking as a woman, I hate that passive-aggressive bullshiat.  That and "If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you."

My response to that has generally been, "Well, since I'm not a mind reader, I'm going to drop it.  Get back to me when you're ready to have an adult conversation."  Generally, girlfriends who keep it up and keep pushing get their bluff called.  And they then break up with me - which is fine, because life is too short for that crap.

Oh - and here's something most men don't know - women can't read other women's emotions, either.
2013-04-15 04:26:15 AM
3 votes:
Men, don't try too hard to understand women.  Women understand women and they hate each other.
2013-04-15 12:28:10 AM
3 votes:
"I'm fine." = I'm so pissed I could rip your balls off and shove them down your food hole.
"Do whatever you want." = There's only one appropriate thing you should do right now, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. However here's a hint, it is not whatever it is YOU want to do.
2013-04-14 11:51:28 PM
3 votes:
1. If she's angry and when you ask her what's wrong she says "nothing", you've done some something wrong
2. Always assume "nothing" is the answer to "What's wrong?"
2013-04-15 09:15:44 AM
2 votes:
There is a very useful way of dealing with emotional people - I just live with the knowledge that I cannot control another persons emotions. They are going to feel however they want to because emotions really are a choice based on how you've decided to look at a situation. If you don't like how you feel, change the way you look at the situation. Emotions are not at all complicated; its the people who have them that have the issues. Once someone comes to this realization about emotions, all drama falls away and life becomes so much easier to live without other peoples complications.
2013-04-15 05:42:38 AM
2 votes:

R.A.Danny: And men are never dicks.


The one mitigating factor about men being dicks (we are) is that you almost always know where you stand. It's why you'll often hear straight men bemoaning not having been born gay so as to have avoided a lifetime of cryptic comments or passive-aggressive notes left on the fridge. When a man is irritated, you know it. And it's typically over as soon as it starts.

I can't recall a single time in my life where I've used a girlfriend's forgetting to feed the dog once in 2004 as the basis of an argument I had just last week. That's just not how the majority of us are wired. And we treat other males the same way: Argument today - one pays the whole bar tab tomorrow.

Male deception is also comparably simple. In fact, the simplicity is the only reason we do it, because everyone knows we can't multi-task. A majority of women, in my experience, prefer the convoluted web of deceit over the basic, blunt "Nah baby I was over at Frank's watching the game."

Going back to the "bringing up ancient slights, no matter how minor, in a current argument years later" thing: I had a long-term, live-in GF and we decided to move across town. The day we were to clean up the old apartment was July 4th. She knew that friends of mine had a big BBQ planned, and offered me to go, saying that all that was left was a quick mop and vacuum (we had both cleaned the bathroom and kitchen days prior). So after the requisite, "Are you sure? because it's just a BBQ. I don't want you doing that by yourself" routine, she more or less insisted I have fun with friends, and that she would join later.

YEARS LATER...literally YEARS LATER we're in some stupid argument about god knows what and she brings up that I was too inconsiderate to help her clean the old apartment. So I'm all, "Why don't you just tell me what you're actually angry about, INSTEAD OF MAKING ME GUESS EVERY TIME?" Maybe then I can correct whatever it is that I'm doing wrong. I know it had nothing to do with mopping a floor lo those years ago.

Thing is, she wasn't the first, and wasn't the last to pull this stunt. So ladies, if you want men to read your emotions, maybe try talking to us? If you're angry that I left my socks on the floor, will you just tell me instead of bringing it up the next time you can't decide where you want to go for dinner?

Understand that these are just anecdotal examples. But fark, I'm on the wrong side of 30. and though I've not conducted any legitimate studies, It's not exactly my first rodeo.
2013-04-15 05:23:03 AM
2 votes:
It's not that men can't read women's emotions, it's just that we really don't care.
2013-04-15 05:18:07 AM
2 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: Seriously, guys, if you don't like the women you are farking, why stay with them?


After trying a few, they all go mental after they decide they can drop the act, normally about 3 weeks after you say "I love you" for the first time...

darkjezter: Men, don't try too hard to understand women.  Women understand women and they hate each other.


The women who don`t hate women just don`t understand them. Benevolent Misanthrope being a good example, loves women, doesn`t understand them.

If you understand women it becomes impossible to love them. Same as men. Problem is, most women understand most men...
2013-04-15 05:03:36 AM
2 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: Speaking as a woman, I hate that passive-aggressive bullshiat. That and "If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you."


I've reached the age where I know longer tolerate that shiat.  The last time a woman pulled that with me, I said, "fark that", and walked out.  I also don't putting up with those teenage level games of "I'm going to pretend to break up so you can prove you care by fighting to get me back."  She was a bit shocked when I said, 'we're done?  Bye."  And didn't call her.  I'm middle aged, not a damn teenager.   How hard is it to just be adults, for gods sakes?
2013-04-15 04:50:43 AM
2 votes:
Benevolent Misanthrope:

Not to say that lesbian relationships are perfect either, though.

When I think about the typical female behavior when there's an argument between a couple, I don't understand how lesbians aren't serial killers.
The guy is there to take the psychological (and sometimes physical) beating with a smile- he knows it's just not worth it to offer resistance. Evolution has given him the mental shield to block it out most of the time.
Two women having an argument in a relationship? I just hope they're never in charge of a standing army.
2013-04-15 04:13:00 AM
2 votes:
i293.photobucket.com

/Obligs.
2013-04-15 04:10:56 AM
2 votes:
So essentially all men are borderline autistic. Sounds about right.
2013-04-15 02:07:22 AM
2 votes:

R.A.Danny: Benevolent Misanthrope: Mentat: The Man:

<whiny self-absorbed bullshiat>

Seriously, guys, if you don't like the women you are farking, why stay with them?

We love and adore the women we are with. We just hate them too.


I've never understood it.  Men love and adore women, but you treat them like sex objects whose only use is to fark.  You complain endlessly about them, mostly the fact that they don't fark enough for your tastes, or they talk to much when they could be sucking your dick.  And yet, unlike alot of lesbian feminists, I do believe men truly do love women.  And hate them.  I've never "gotten" the relationship.

Not to say that lesbian relationships are perfect either, though.
2013-04-15 01:29:16 AM
2 votes:

Mentat: The Man:

<whiny self-absorbed bullshiat>


Seriously, guys, if you don't like the women you are farking, why stay with them?
2013-04-15 01:12:51 AM
2 votes:
The Man:

"Yes Dear" = "I know where this is going.  There is literally nothing I can say or do to win.  If I counter your emotional bullshiat with logic, you'll say I'm talking down to you.  If I lose my temper, you'll say I'm bullying you.  If I don't do anything, you'll say I'm emotionally crippled.  So I'm just going to say and do the absolute bare minimum in the hopes that you'll stomp off for a few hours so I can have some peace.  When you've decided I've been punished enough, you'll 'forgive' me for whatever it is I did and I'll pretend like you're right and then we'll start the entire thing over again in three days when I make an off-hand comment suggesting I'm not looking forward to your mother's visit or when I get a slight boner when you complain about your hot sister wasting $5000 on a boob job.  I mean, let's be honest.  We both know I saw her in her underwear last year when I accidentally walked in on her changing clothes in our bedroom and we both know that she engineered that little fiasco in order to piss you off because she loves to push your buttons.  Besides, what the fark do you care what she does with her money?  What else is she going to do with it?  She's a farking 'social media strategist'.  What the hell does that even mean?  Oh right, it means 'OMG I'm 35 years old and unemployed because the powers that be think I'm a technological dinosaur!  Can I move in with you?'  And of course you'll say yes and you'll be glaring at me the whole time, but I can promise you I won't want to fark that at 35.  I've seen pictures of your mother at 22 and 35 and I can see where this is going.  Social media strategist my ass.  I worked at a god damn dotcom.  I helped invent the streaming video algorithm that YouTube uses, and yet now I have to listen to some punk ass 21 year old tell me that I don't understand technology?  Let's see what Johnny McShiatsALot can do the next time the servers go down and I decide to call in sick.  Have fun in the cloud asshole.  Little farker thinks it's an actual cloud.  I showed him the server room and he didn't believe me when I told him the cloud was just a bunch of computers networked together.  The only reason he has that job is because he was sucking the boss's dick on the 18th hole.  Maybe I should learn to play golf.  It's just geometry.  It would get me out of the house once in a while.  Oh Christ, are you still talking?  Seriously, I don't care.  Did you ever take a logic course in college?  No, of course you didn't, you were a communications major.  I don't even know what the fark a communications major is.  All I ever saw you do in college was slam wine coolers and flash your boobs at drunken frat boys.  And now you yell at our daughter for wearing yoga pants.  Yeah, I wonder what she would think of that picture I took of you on Spring Break wearing nothing but sandals and nipple clamps?  You would probably claim it was all my fault, and the kid would believe you because she's practically a clone of you.  I wish her friend Denise would start wearing underwear though.  I mean, I'm 40, I'm not dead and those yoga pants are practically invisible when she bend over.  But of course, if I say anything, suddenly I'm on the sex offenders registry.  Oh god, I hate my life.  I can't even enjoy football because my team sucks and you always wait until the game to demand that I mow the lawn.  One day, that's all I ask, one day where I can just enjoy myself, but no.  What the fark did I just say?  'Yes Dear'.  That means 'shut the fark up, you win."  Why the fark can't you just accept victory?  Do you have to break me down completely?  That's what this is, isn't it?  You're getting old and menopausy and you know I think your sister's hotter than you and you know she would probably fark me if I let her just because she wants to piss you off.  Well you know what, maybe I will.  Let's see what $5000 gets you these days.  Yeah, I can just imagine your face when you walk in on us and oh who the fark am I kidding?  I haven't seen my dick in three years and those low T pills aren't doing fark.  Is this it?  Is this all I have to look forward to?  What happened to all of my dreams?  I was going to be rich and famous like Steve Jobs.  I was going to revolutionize internet commerce.  I don't care what they say, Pets.com was a great idea, it was just before its time.  Maybe I should write a novel.  Does anyone even read novels anymore?  I don't think my kid's boyfriend can even read at all.  Fark it, I am writing a novel.  I'll self-publish on Amazon.  I think I still know some guys over there, maybe they can give me some inside help.  Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.  And before I publish, I'm going to divorce your ass so you don't get any of my money.  Then I'm going to hire a personal trainer and when I get back into shape, I'm going to fark the hell out of your sister.  And I'll buy her even bigger boobs just so you'll have something to biatch about.  So there."
2013-04-15 12:58:06 AM
2 votes:

Altair: Ghastly: "I'm fine." = I'm so pissed I could rip your balls off and shove them down your food hole.
"Do whatever you want." = There's only one appropriate thing you should do right now, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. However here's a hint, it is not whatever it is YOU want to do.

farking truth.


This is the shiat that comes from choosing your female companionship based on farkability points and not on whether you actually like her.  If you would like a word from the wise, from the other side of the fence... any woman can be absolute hell on wheels in bed, with the right encouragement.  Get to know her first, be sure you like her out of bed.  Then you avoid paying for poon with the other 23.75 hours of the day being a sheer misery of whining and manipulation.
2013-04-15 01:19:36 PM
1 votes:
*reads thread*

Wow. Yall have dated some pretty ridiculous people.

Maybe I just don't like dating in general. It's complicated and I understand neither women nor men... so I'm not going to jump into the relationship pool until I have my shiat together.

/says the perpetually single person
//quite content
///stop laughing
2013-04-15 12:15:37 PM
1 votes:

AbbeySomeone: I'm truly amazed at the bs some guys will put up with to get laid.


It takes more energy to find someone new than to just put up with the bs. Plus there's no guarantee the new person won't make you put up with a ton of bs, too.
2013-04-15 09:53:30 AM
1 votes:

Abacus9: Foxxinnia: So essentially all men are borderline autistic. Sounds about right.

No, we're just not overly emotional about every little thing.


Tell me again why men commit so much more violent crime than women.
2013-04-15 08:32:20 AM
1 votes:
her: I'm hungry.  Let's get lunch.
me: OK.  This is your old neighborhood.  What's good around here?
her: Guh, you always make me pick.  You're so indecisive.
me: ok, I think I saw a Chinese place back there that looked pretty good.
her: No, I don't want Chinese.
me: Tacos?
her: I had tacos on Tuesday...
me: Fark you, I'm getting Chinese.  See you later.
2013-04-15 08:19:49 AM
1 votes:
I don't really think the issue is "women", but "people".  Men complain about how "women" behave in a relationship because that's the only subset of the population a majority of them try to have a relationship with.  If men dated men and women equally, they'd probably discover that these attitudes are pretty universal across genders.

/if men can't understand women, it's a deficiency in women.  If women can't understand men, it's a deficiency in women.  In reality, people are just bad at understanding other people.
2013-04-15 07:37:46 AM
1 votes:
farm9.staticflickr.com
2013-04-15 07:04:58 AM
1 votes:

SpaceBison: [officeforward.com image 406x1023]


I notice there is not an image for a genuine smile, gratitude or genuine happiness...

Seems legit.
2013-04-15 06:55:48 AM
1 votes:
SpaceBison: facial expressions

Is the joke that only some of the descriptions don't match the actual expressions being made? Because there's no way I'd describe upper top left as "lifted eyebrows." Just enough of them seem accurate to wonder if the entire piece is meant to be taken semi-seriously, but then just enough are different to make me wonder if I'm too dumb to understand that it's an obvious joke.
2013-04-15 06:24:46 AM
1 votes:
fark you Fark Mods. Why dont you try TF-ing a thread from the get-go instead of waiting for 150 comments. Jackholes. Now Im going to turn Ad-block back on.
2013-04-15 06:07:54 AM
1 votes:

DemonEater: Dion Fortune: This study is not something to readily draw conclusions from though.  All they did was look at static, disembodied pictures of eyeballs.  Perhaps men judge women's emotions more from other parts of their face or body.

Men look at women's eyes???


Only when lying very very hard.
2013-04-15 06:07:00 AM
1 votes:

HotWingAgenda: dickfreckle: It's why you'll often hear straight men bemoaning not having been born gay so as to have avoided a lifetime of cryptic comments or passive-aggressive notes left on the fridge.

Speaking as a straight man who has had his share of gay friends... gay guys make cryptic comments to their boyfriends all the time.  And it bugs the hell out of them.


Yeah, but I bet they will still blow each other.
2013-04-15 05:28:38 AM
1 votes:
This study is flawed and comes to the wrong conclusion.
Men DO understand woman, at least once they reach a certain age.  What they understand is this: women are generally selfish and irrational.  And they lie.  So when they show a man a picture of a woman's eyes, they can't say "this is a look of terror" because men have learned that a womans emotional communication is usually not even close to whatever crazy thing they are actually feeling, but in the end it will be some sort of petty self centered way of manipulating the man.
Think about it: that picture is not actually a picture of terror, it is a picture of someone acting like they are in terror.  You cannot actually read an actors face, and since most women are acting so much, men don't benefit from being able to distinguish emotions on a woman's face.
2013-04-15 04:37:03 AM
1 votes:
The problem is that men understand women all too well.  This makes them angry.
2013-04-15 04:31:21 AM
1 votes:

Foxxinnia: So essentially all men are borderline autistic. Sounds about right.


No, we're just not overly emotional about every little thing.
2013-04-15 04:24:13 AM
1 votes:
Men want things to be logical, we like things simple.  Most of the times if we don't say thank you or please for the nice dinner it's because we were not thinking.

A simple 'You could say thank you.' would suffice for most men who would then try  to remember for the next time.

The problem is it's usually not that easy because of these things called hormones.

It's a fact of life, hormones make you guys crazy at times. Male bs makes us dicks a lot of the times but we can learn to be less dickish.   It's pretty damn difficult from what I've seen to not sweat the small stuff when you have a chemical cocktail coursing through your veins.
2013-04-15 04:16:33 AM
1 votes:
I'm convinced my wife has conversations with her mother and her sister about things she thinks she has with me. Then, when she brings it up, I'm accused of never listening. I'm sure I'm guilty of not listening sometimes, but not EVERY time.
2013-04-15 04:07:02 AM
1 votes:
www.aerojockey.com
2013-04-15 03:58:35 AM
1 votes:
 img1.fark.netWomen are biatches.
2013-04-15 02:26:49 AM
1 votes:
This idea that women have some across-the-board tendency to "never tell what's wrong" breaks down when you note that the same people who ask this question also find themselves complaining about women's nagging, or the dreaded "can we talk" question, so it's pretty clear their women are pretty vocal about stating what's wrong in a variety of situations.


But sometimes a woman won't answer that question, usually because she sees it as a no-win dilemma.
The first possibility is that what you did wrong is so glaringly obvious (to her) that she thinks it is you who are playing the game, and does not understand what you are trying to do. Like if you had sex with a man, or killed her dog, or both.


The second possibility is that what you did wrong is so glaringly obvious (to her) that she realizes she has entered into a relationship with a man who cannot grasp a person's most basic needs without being given a laminated chart every day. She is envisioning a lifetime of constantly giving explanations about why it is wrong to skip her birthday to get drunk with his friends, or flirt with 16-year-olds in an online game. Why push that boulder up that hill today? It's not like she won't get to do it a thousand times more.


A third possibility is that it's something she wanted you to do on your own initiative, like compliment her haircut or ask about her day. These things don't really mean a lot when done mechanically, which is what's going to happen if she says, "What's wrong is I wanted you to ask about my day," and you say, "Oh, of course, tell me about your day." That setup doesn't leave one convinced that you actually want to hear about her day. And compliments given on command are pretty worthless too.


It's unfair, but there's not a lot either of you can do about it at the time.
And finally, as mentioned before, the Manipulative Harpy does exist, sometimes a little bit in all of us, and could very well be doing it because she hates you.

From here.
2013-04-15 01:59:56 AM
1 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: Mentat: The Man:

<whiny self-absorbed bullshiat>

Seriously, guys, if you don't like the women you are farking, why stay with them?


We love and adore the women we are with. We just hate them too.
 
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