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(Newser)   Most kids curse before they learn the alphabet. I learned it from you dad ...I LEARNED IT FROM YOU   (newser.com) divider line 67
    More: Obvious, social rule, Old English  
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3019 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2013 at 4:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-04-14 04:27:07 PM  
Nice headline
 
2013-04-14 04:34:46 PM  
Actual line is:

"You, all right?! I learned it by watching you!"
 
2013-04-14 04:36:10 PM  
lh6.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-04-14 04:36:58 PM  
I went the extra mile and taught my son when it's acceptable to swear.
 
2013-04-14 04:37:16 PM  
Reminds me of my younger brother learning to talk.  He tried to say 'firetruck.'  He did not say 'firetruck.'

/was mad because I'd've gotten spanked for saying what he said, and he got a round of laughs.
 
2013-04-14 04:38:39 PM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
Remember, just say no.  At least that's what Nancy told us.
 
2013-04-14 04:40:41 PM  
No dumbass tag?
 
2013-04-14 04:41:06 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: [lh6.googleusercontent.com image 300x168]


Only 3 posts in - good job.
 
2013-04-14 04:42:29 PM  
No farking shiat?
 
2013-04-14 04:42:58 PM  

ten foiled hats: Reminds me of my younger brother learning to talk.  He tried to say 'firetruck.'  He did not say 'firetruck.'

/was mad because I'd've gotten spanked for saying what he said, and he got a round of laughs.


and comedian bob marley's sons favorite thomas the train character is percy.

(didn't i read about this last week here?)
 
2013-04-14 04:43:29 PM  
Bullshiat.
 
2013-04-14 04:44:25 PM  
My Playstation multiplayer experiences confirm this.
 
2013-04-14 04:44:36 PM  
Been lucky so far...my 2 yo does know the alphabet, but I've yet to hear her swear.

And I swear way too much, especially in the car.

/"Only daddy talks like that!"
 
2013-04-14 04:45:04 PM  

Molavian: I went the extra mile and taught my son when it's acceptable to swear.


This, and so did I.  Especially since I have a potty mouth anyway.
 
2013-04-14 04:47:17 PM  
As my young son learned South Park's "you bastard" before his ABCs, I am getting a kick out of these replies.
 
2013-04-14 04:48:43 PM  
You taught me curse and my profit on it is I know language.
 
2013-04-14 04:53:33 PM  

m053486: Been lucky so far...my 2 yo does know the alphabet, but I've yet to hear her swear.

And I swear way too much, especially in the car.

/"Only daddy talks like that!"


When I was a wee slip of a lass I spent a lot of time driving around with my dad.  At one point his mother flew out to visit and we had to pick her up at the airport.  Someone honked a horn while we were driving home and a little voice out of the carseat in the back goes "dammit, lady!"  Grandma was not pleased with Dad.
 
2013-04-14 04:54:43 PM  
Dad taught me how to say bullshiat. Mom was not happy when I yelled it during lunch one day.
 
2013-04-14 04:55:14 PM  

DragonIV: Molavian: I went the extra mile and taught my son when it's acceptable to swear.

This, and so did I.  Especially since I have a potty mouth anyway.


3rd'ed with my two kids.  My 3 year old knows that "daddys my little biatch" is only said at home and not in front anyone but mommy and daddy
 
2013-04-14 04:58:10 PM  
I may or may not be guilty of having one or two children who fit this description.
 
2013-04-14 04:58:20 PM  
Sing it along with me, kids...

A - B - C - D - E - F - U...
 
2013-04-14 05:00:27 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: My Playstation multiplayer experiences confirm this.


No shiat What's you gamer tag? I'm on there too hit me up mine is Tomahawk_Tipton
 
2013-04-14 05:01:42 PM  
FTFA: the middle class curses less than the wealthy-a Victorian-age habit that "indicates that you are a proper, good person and this is a sign of your morality and awareness of social rules," says Mohr.

No..... the middle class curse less than the wealthy because they are less powerful and don't want to do anything that will get them into trouble or cause a powerful person to become offended. (Source)
 
2013-04-14 05:01:49 PM  
Bless your heart.
 
2013-04-14 05:02:49 PM  
MissFeasance:When I was a wee slip of a lass I spent a lot of time driving around with my dad.  At one point his mother flew out to visit and we had to pick her up at the airport.  Someone honked a horn while we were driving home and a little voice out of the carseat in the back goes "dammit, lady!"  Grandma was not pleased with Dad.

My father taught me since birth that everyone else on the road is an asshole, douchebag, farking moron, and so forth.  One time, my mom took me to the grocery store - this was when I was very little and just learning how to talk.  I was in the cart, and she left for a minute to grab something further down the aisle.  She noticed that everyone was staring at me, and when she got closer, she understood why.  I was singing, in my little sing-song voice, "Asshole, asshole!" at everyone who went by.

/"Where do these damn kids learn this farking language?"
//thanks, Dad
 
2013-04-14 05:04:32 PM  

Crackers Are a Family Food: I was singing, in my little sing-song voice, "Asshole, asshole!" at everyone who went by.


This cracked me up
 
2013-04-14 05:05:56 PM  

sleeper2995: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: My Playstation multiplayer experiences confirm this.

No shiat What's you gamer tag? I'm on there too hit me up mine is Tomahawk_Tipton


Will do. I mainly just play Call of Duty though.
 
2013-04-14 05:07:51 PM  
Scheiße! Merde!
 
2013-04-14 05:09:09 PM  
When my daughter was 3 she fell off of her bouncy ball thingy (the type with a handle you hold onto while sitting/bouncing) and exclaimed, "My balls, Goddamnit"!

We were playing Lego Star Wars on PS3 and she was trying, unsuccessfully, to change to an ewok. After a few seconds she said "Come here you little farkard"!

/proud daddy
 
2013-04-14 05:11:42 PM  
Supposedly my uncle's first real words (other than mama and dada) were "Beer, dammit".

(yes he grew up in the sticks and supposedly his parents never let him have enough from their beers to get the 1 year old drunk.)
 
2013-04-14 05:12:52 PM  
My dad is a carpenter who has a habit of swearing when he hurts himself or something goes wrong.  When my sister was two, she fell down one day and loudly proclaimed "Jesus Christ!" Being the asshole of an older sibling i was, of course I ratted her out, just so she'd get in trouble.  She also once called me a bastard when we were playing barbies. Ratted her out that time too..

Ahhh Sibling Rivalry... Those were the days...
 
2013-04-14 05:14:38 PM  
My daughter has yet to curse and when she does it will be Mrs peaches fault. I'll still get blamed though.

She does however think those cute fuzzy grey animals are called "stupid squirrels". That one was my fault. Well really the squirrels fault for running in front of the car.
 
2013-04-14 05:17:05 PM  
When I was five or six my parents made me say, "I was born on a pirate ship" whilst holding my tongue.  Hilarity ensued, until I walked around grandma's house saying it one hundred million billion times.
/Of course played the same trick on my son.
 
2013-04-14 05:20:02 PM  

dopekitty74: She also once called me a bastard when we were playing barbies. Ratted her out that time too..


What was you doing? Provocatively undressing Ken?
 
2013-04-14 05:25:29 PM  
I learned cuss words before my ABCs.  I just didn't know that they were bad, just words you say when you get upset or make a mistake.  Lead to a couple of interesting parent/teacher conferences where my teacher told my parents that during a show and tell I made a mistake when talking about my toy and responded with "shiat."
 
2013-04-14 05:25:58 PM  

rkiller1: When I was five or six my parents made me say, "I was born on a pirate ship" whilst holding my tongue.  Hilarity ensued, until I walked around grandma's house saying it one hundred million billion times.
/Of course played the same trick on my son.


When I was a kid they made you say "My momma makes me sit behind the door".

As I am not a parent, just an uncle, I'll leave the instructional cursing to my brother in law and I'll teach the girls to make armpit fart noises or something.
 
2013-04-14 05:28:54 PM  
ass
biatch
coont
dick
fark

wait, what is E?
 
2013-04-14 05:37:44 PM  
Well, I'm sure as fark not having the cornflakes.
 
2013-04-14 05:38:08 PM  

UsikFark: ass
biatch
coont
dick
fark

wait, what is E?


ejaculate
 
2013-04-14 05:39:11 PM  

UsikFark: ass
biatch
coont
dick
fark

wait, what is E?


evangelical?
 
2013-04-14 05:45:20 PM  
 
2013-04-14 05:51:06 PM  
i513.photobucket.com

Q: Where'd ya get it?
A: YOU GAVE IT TO US


/ WPOD
 
2013-04-14 05:51:26 PM  
My mother relays that my first sentence was "Goddamn you."  Apparently, she was in my way.

My now-seven-year-old used to yell "Asshole!" at the other drivers on a fairly regular basis. She was almost always right about it, too.
 
2013-04-14 05:54:48 PM  

rkiller1: UsikFark: ass
biatch
coont
dick
fark

wait, what is E?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/popular.php?character=E


You wanna tell me how that was supposed to help?
 
2013-04-14 06:02:04 PM  
My mom swears like a sailor, so I'm pretty sure I fit in this category.

/37 years old, so I have no idea if the swearing or my ABC's came first.
 
2013-04-14 06:21:57 PM  
My kids learned the alphabet and how to curse concurrently, thank you very much.
 
2013-04-14 06:28:24 PM  
Yeah, guilt here too. Actually the 2.5 year old was singing the alphabet right around the same time she started using "Goddammit" in proper context. Broken toy, dropped sandwich, those sorts of things.
Totally my fault. At least I'd stopped dropping F bombs with any frequency by the time she started talking.
 
2013-04-14 06:38:06 PM  

buzzcut73: Yeah, guilt here too. Actually the 2.5 year old was singing the alphabet right around the same time she started using "Goddammit" in proper context. Broken toy, dropped sandwich, those sorts of things.
Totally my fault. At least I'd stopped dropping F bombs with any frequency by the time she started talking.


I am also proud that my 2.5 yo is singing the full alphabet and cursing when she drops things.
 
2013-04-14 06:55:58 PM  
My 4 yr old has trouble with the "st" at the beginning of words. Whenever anything gets "stuck", I have to be ready with an explanation to any bystanders.
 
2013-04-14 06:57:29 PM  
And you can't get around that by spelling out the bad words.
If you spell inappropriate words in front of your children, those will be the first words he *can* spell.
 
2013-04-14 07:11:19 PM  

JameZZ82: DragonIV: Molavian: I went the extra mile and taught my son when it's acceptable to swear.

This, and so did I.  Especially since I have a potty mouth anyway.

3rd'ed with my two kids.  My 3 year old knows that "daddys my little biatch" is only said at home and not in front anyone but mommy and daddy


4th'er with my two. My daughter also claims I told her what the words meant. "You're welcome, all part of your education kids."
 
2013-04-14 07:12:45 PM  
My 4 year old once said "hey daddy are we going to the fu(king grocery store"?   Of course I told her she was not to use that word, but was proud of her perfect grammar.  Left the room and laughed my ass off.
 
2013-04-14 07:33:37 PM  
This is true for  my second kid , the first not even close.
 
2013-04-14 07:34:47 PM  
We need to protect our foul-mouthed children from all the swearing on television! Save us FCC!
 
2013-04-14 07:46:53 PM  
 My two year old hasn't cursed yet, which I consider truly amazing given what potty mouths Mr. and Mrs. Rootus can be, but she knows her ABCs all the way through and can count to 20.
 
2013-04-14 07:57:59 PM  
My son (10) won't even say something is stupid, dumb, or sucks.  My sister's kids (10, 1, 3mo) curse like it's their native language.  Well, the baby doesn't...yet.  Same for my sister-in-law's kids.  It's not cute to see a 3 year old girl say, "biatch, whatever! You can kiss my ass!" or "Act like a ho, get treated like a ho."

Kid could be smart as a whip, but they're going to be treated differently by their teachers in kindergarten and beyond.  It puts them at an unnecessary disadvantage.
 
2013-04-14 09:01:50 PM  
Here is the NSFW version of the Reading Rainbow theme song where I'm sure so many kids learned a bad word or two.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUdO32urMH4&feature=youtu.be">http://w ww.youtube.com/watch?v=CUdO32urMH4&feature=youtu.be
 
2013-04-14 09:38:13 PM  
Kids learn to talk by imitating what they hear, and I was a good listener since a very young age. My mother tells me that once when I was 2, she put me in the car seat to drive to the store. As was sometimes the case with our old Datsun, the engine wouldn't turn over at first, and after a couple unsuccessful tries she heard my voice from the back yelling "Dammit!"
 
2013-04-14 09:40:38 PM  
t1.gstatic.com

Watch your mouth, Mister!


t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-14 09:44:22 PM  

penthesilea: It's not cute to see a 3 year old girl say, "Act like a ho, get treated like a ho."


Maybe not, but that's hilarious.
 
2013-04-14 11:12:37 PM  

Molavian: I went the extra mile and taught my son when it's acceptable to swear.


1) Never at or around small children.

/D'oh
 
2013-04-14 11:39:36 PM  
Look "up" three posts, and notice the unecessary profanity in a blog about pimiento cheese sandwiches. My kids may have learned some words from me, but nothing compared to the filth they are exposed to daily on the internet and television. I just had them turn off the MTV movie awards for the same reason. It's a losing battle.
 
2013-04-15 02:10:37 AM  
Yep - I can't get my two year old to stop saying, "goddamnit!"
 
2013-04-15 02:20:31 AM  

rkiller1: When I was five or six my parents made me say, "I was born on a pirate ship" whilst holding my tongue.  Hilarity ensued, until I walked around grandma's house saying it one hundred million billion times.
/Of course played the same trick on my son.


Your parents should be ashamed. Not because the language is offensive, but because the joke is painfully trite.
 
2013-04-15 03:36:47 AM  

Hunter S. Farkson: Yep - I can't get my two year old to stop saying, "goddamnit!"


Last night at the dinner table, my (almost) 2 year old, surprised by my ability to open the ketchup bottle she had been working on for a good 20 minutes, happily exclaimed, "daaaamnnnn!"

I figure if that's the worst thing I've taught her, I'm probably doing ok...

/Parenting is just about 90% finding ways to suppress your urge to giggle. Because, if you laugh, you have lost that battle *forever*...
 
2013-04-15 08:04:19 AM  
My two year old has Star Wars sheets. Naturally, the first thing we teach her is what is on the sheets... Pretty good with "Tie Fighter" and "X-Wing." "Millennium Falcon," on the other hand... Well, I'll let you guess what that sounds like when your kid can't say "L" properly yet.
 
2013-04-15 09:48:48 AM  
you mean a kid will learn one succinct word before they learn the order of 26 different letters? GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE!
 
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