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(Courier Mail)   More and more couples are merging their Twitter and Facebook accounts. "What does it mean when you want to portray yourself as a couple rather than an individual?"   (couriermail.com.au) divider line 47
    More: Weird, Facebook, Twitter, St Kilda, Facebook accounts, bank accounts, Dan Auerbach  
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3286 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2013 at 10:04 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-04-14 11:30:08 AM  
5 votes:
facebook sucks. honestly, it is the worst. it is the 21 century version of the Christmas card you get with the photo of the family on it. only 365 24/7. please let this sink in. no one cares that you went to florida and little jimmie touched a manatee. you only do this for your self, and MAYBE your closest relatives. I gotta idea, pick up a phone, and share it.
and then we headed out to Shelbyville with an onion tied to our belts...
2013-04-14 11:43:32 AM  
4 votes:

Confabulat: eddiesocket: Confabulat: I'll tell you what it means to me, as this just happened to me as I wrote an old girlfriend on her wedding night a message on Facebook only to have her fiance respond and say to please not contact her anymore.

She found Jesus.

Hmm, I'd like to take your side, but your timing is suspicious. Why did you write her on her wedding night, and what did the message say?

Oh it wasn't mean. At first. I wondered why I didn't get a wedding invite. She said I didn't respect Jesus or marriage enough.

Ok then it got a little mean. Then he chimed in.


Okay yeah, I'm gonna have to take their side on this one.
/not a Jesus freak. Atheist, in fact. But picking a fight with the bride on her wedding night will get you that response 100% of the time. Why did you think you'd be invited, anyway? Exes don't usually get invited. Were you guys still good friends up till that point?
2013-04-14 03:46:45 PM  
3 votes:

ZeroCorpse: ZombiesYall: To me people with joint accounts come off as really possessive. When I am friends with one spouse and hardly know the other, it makes me a little uncomfortable because I never know who is commenting. Also,it just makes them seem like they think their partner is so hot and everyone wants to take them away. Sorry, no. If you can't trust your partner to have their own friends, even online, you need to get off my internets.

It has nothing to do with possessiveness. It has to do with trust and sharing. There's nothing you need to say to me that you can't say to her, too. She's my partner in everything. I trust her more than I do any other person in the world, and so your stupid little Facebook messages simply do not trump my bond with my partner.

And yes, we are very much a "we" couple. I know people who haven't experienced true love can't even grasp this (Hell, I couldn't until I found her, and I had a lot of relationships) but when you find the one, they really are a part of you. The two of you together make a whole, complete, better whole than the halves you were before you found each other. Individuality isn't lost, but it sure is nice having someone whom you trust and love completely, to the point of feeling that you are both extensions of each other.

Like I said, it's hard to explain it in any way that anyone who doesn't experience would find at all believable, but it is what it is. We are a team. We are better because of it. Anything I say, she can hear. Anything said to me can also be said to her.

If you're closer to your friends than your wife, then you're not in love. If your friends have things that can only be said to you, then you're not in love. If you can't trust your partner with every single tiny detail of your existence, then they aren't the person you were meant to be with. That doesn't mean you HAVE TO share every detail, but that you take no measures to keep secrets or lead a double-life.

If your friends, once married, don't become "our friends", then eventually you will have problems when the friends f♥ck up your marriage. Anybody who needs to have access to you exclusively without your partner as part of the package is a selfish, jealous twat. Your partner should be your very best friend in the most honest, true way possible. Not the stupid lip-service way most people say it in, but in a genuine way: They should be the one you want to hang out with before  anybody else.


You are extraordinarily creepy.
2013-04-14 11:04:05 AM  
3 votes:

SundaesChild: Koodz: My sister in law is a counselor at a prison and forbidden to have a Facebook account, but they can't stop her husband, so hers changed in a few months from her name to theirs to only his. Now there is a guy named Frank on my friends list who posts nothing but baby pictures.

Please esplain. Why is she forbidden to have a FB? I can see a very stern advisement that it would be unwise, but forbidding seems like a Constitutional violation or something.


Safety. You don't want some disgruntled prisoner tracking down your family. My friend is a parole officer, and the same rule applies.

Oh, and the day that Facebook becomes a constitutional right is the day we need to nuke the Earth from orbit and start over.
2013-04-14 10:22:16 AM  
3 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: It means the inevitable divorce is going to be fun to watch.


This. Social networking can accomplish some nice things but when it goes wrong, it can do so in a very ugly way, and the consequences can spread far beyond your circle of friends. A worldwide-accessible social network is not the place to have an epiphany about the bad choices you've made in your life.
2013-04-14 08:54:31 AM  
3 votes:

SundaesChild: I can see it having its benefits in connecting with family, especially if one of the partners is a big social media person and the other is not.  Alternatively, my in-laws had a joint account, because of trust issues due to them being non-exclusive early in their relationship.  Anyway, it's nobody's business but the couple's.  I'd prefer my own account, but that's just me.


I think it is generally more that, that one in the couple (usually the guy) doesn't use Facebook anyway, so, the wife just sticks his name on their account as well, so, friends of his can find "him".

At least in my case, I am sure my wife would rather not go through a bunch of posts from geeky websites, Arena Football and other sports fans, and the like.  Just as I don't really want to sift through a bunch of posts about shopping or what some Kardashian ate for lunch last night.   I guess some couples maybe mesh up 100% in their interests, but, that is usually not the case.

because of trust issues due to them being non-exclusive early in their relationship.
Oh yeah, because, nobody has ever heard of having a secret email address, bank account, Facebook account, etc.
News alert... having a "joint FB" account isn't going to fix your "issues" in that space.
2013-04-14 08:08:57 AM  
3 votes:
It means I hate you.

And stop sending your spouse public lovey messages on Facebook.
2013-04-14 07:41:29 AM  
3 votes:
Mrs. Earguy and I have done this for years.  We still get communications from old ex'es, but it's all above-board.  We don't get those "we ought to meet" or "I never stopped loving you" messages.
2013-04-14 05:02:12 AM  
3 votes:
To me it means you are trying too hard.
Really, you are 2 people. Be 2 people.
2013-04-14 03:04:15 PM  
2 votes:

ZeroCorpse: sorebones: As a terminally single man, that's how I see couples anyway. When everything you say or do with one is going to be reported to the other, there's no point in seeing them as individuals anymore.

I kinda feel sorry for you. Sounds lonely.


It is sometimes, but I'd rather suffer occasional loneliness than lose my sense of self.
2013-04-14 12:47:46 PM  
2 votes:

MaxSupernova: one-in-the-chamber: facebook sucks. honestly, it is the worst. it is the 21 century version of the Christmas card you get with the photo of the family on it. only 365 24/7. please let this sink in. no one cares that you went to florida and little jimmie touched a manatee. you only do this for your self, and MAYBE your closest relatives. I gotta idea, pick up a phone, and share it.
and then we headed out to Shelbyville with an onion tied to our belts...

I just got back from seaworld and i put a pic of my daughter petting a dolphin so im getting a kick out of this.

i may be in the minority here but I like seeing my friends and family post pics of trips or interesting things they do.  Thats kinda the readson i am on facebook.  I don't care one bit about their politics or all the other stuff people post but the 24/7/365 christmas card stuff is kinda what I am there for.

However....i dont want to know every detail of your life but the occasional highlight is kinda cool


dude. no one cares. really, no one. except your wife, and maybe mom-in-law. let me ask you this, you maybe to young, but do you remember bringing "photographs" of your vacation to work, or for that matter your wedding photos? NO ONE cares about your day to day existence but you, and those with whom you directly interact.
2013-04-14 11:35:17 AM  
2 votes:
The "we" people have always existed.  They stop saying "I," and instead it's always "We..." because they've surrendered their individuality.  This is just an extension of that.
2013-04-14 11:33:10 AM  
2 votes:

oryx: You don't trust your partner?


That's exactly what it is. Desperate insecurity, the type you should have grown out of by your early 20's.
2013-04-14 11:29:30 AM  
2 votes:

Confabulat: I'll tell you what it means to me, as this just happened to me as I wrote an old girlfriend on her wedding night a message on Facebook only to have her fiance respond and say to please not contact her anymore.

She found Jesus.


Hmm, I'd like to take your side, but your timing is suspicious. Why did you write her on her wedding night, and what did the message say?
2013-04-14 11:24:07 AM  
2 votes:
FTFA: '

"Some individuals may use it more separately because they feel more comfortable having their identity in their separate self rather than their couple self," Mr Auerbach said.

"Some couples are much more tightly bonded."'


Is it just me, or is this implying that couples who have separate FB/Twitter accounts aren't as close as couples who have joint accounts?


EbolaNYC: It means you have a lack of trust in the relationship.


I agree. Plus, my boyfriend and I have many different interests (some shared, too, of course). Our Wall would be a hodgepodge of seemingly contradictory likes, ads, and even posts. And how would posts/comments work?

Person1: "Hey honey, I want to put this on our wall."

P2: "No, I really don't want that going on there. It represents me, too, and I don't agree with the idea."

P1: "I know you don't, but I do. I deserve to put my opinion out."

P2: "I agree. But I don't support [insert controversial topic] and I don't want co-workers coming up and asking me about it at lunch tomorrow."

P1: "I want to express myself! I NEED TO EXPRESS MYSELF!!! WHHHHHARRRGGGARBL!"

P2: "Oh, for f*ck's sake. I don't want a joint account anymore."

P1: "You're Facebook divorcing me?! There's another person,  isn't there? I knew it!"

P2: [face palms]
2013-04-14 11:22:14 AM  
2 votes:
These couples are almost always unmarried parents in their early twenties and it's always the woman's idea. If this happens to a male friend of mine, being female, I assume that: a) his balls are now in his girlfriend's hand, b) his life is miserable now, and c) I'm not allowed to be friends with him, not that he'd be any fun to be around any more anyway. DH and I have separate accounts. We know each others' passwords as a safeguard in case of unforeseen circumstances, but I can honestly say I've never once used it.

Joint Facebook accounts are the lamest thing imaginable, and I automatically assume that a couple who have one have an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Usually on the woman's part, but also sometimes the guy's.
2013-04-14 11:14:11 AM  
2 votes:

Gunny Walker: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one Facebook account. "
Genesis 2:24


+1

I closed my FB account ages ago and so did my BF. I guess if we were ever married and he wanted to open a new account and have us share it, I wouldn't care but I doubt he'd want to open another FB account.

Every so often I think of getting back on Facebook but then I slap some sense back into my self.

Now if he wanted to share my Fark account....no way-no way!
2013-04-14 11:07:41 AM  
2 votes:
It means you have a lack of trust in the relationship.
2013-04-14 10:24:44 AM  
2 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: It means I hate you.

And stop sending your spouse public lovey messages on Facebook.


For a moment I had hope that this new trend would put an end to those messages - wouldn't it essentially be sending a message to it's own Facebook account?  But of course it won't.  Facebook will be a dump-site for evangelical advertising and pictures of cupcakes with "I LOVE THE PERSON WHO MADE THIS" captions until it finally dies a deserved death.
2013-04-14 10:17:59 AM  
2 votes:
honestly, who could possibly give a sh*t?
2013-04-14 09:39:52 AM  
2 votes:
It means the inevitable divorce is going to be fun to watch.
2013-04-14 09:04:46 AM  
2 votes:

dletter: I think it is generally more that, that one in the couple (usually the guy) doesn't use Facebook anyway, so, the wife just sticks his name on their account as well, so, friends of his can find "him".


This is the main reason our FB account is a joint one.  I don't want to bother, but most of our family communicates that way
2013-04-14 11:58:12 PM  
1 votes:

ZeroCorpse: Let me clarify: We don't use Facebook anymore. If we did, we would have no need to maintain separate accounts. We're a family, and the account would only be used to contact our family.

If you want to contact my family, that means me, her, and anyone else under the roof.


You are borg.
2013-04-14 05:22:09 PM  
1 votes:

Dragonflew: I wonder if people who share email and Facebook accounts also listen in on every phone call their significant other makes.


Also, since couples like Zero Corpse and his lucky lady can't have a single written exchange with another human without the other one being a part of it, are they allowed to converse with people face to face without the other one there? I'm thinking no. That would be like a secret and those are death to true love.
2013-04-14 03:55:46 PM  
1 votes:
I view friends that do this as being dead. Really they are. They no longer have a right to make any decisions. I defriend them online and in person.
2013-04-14 03:53:52 PM  
1 votes:

ZeroCorpse: ZombiesYall: To me people with joint accounts come off as really possessive. When I am friends with one spouse and hardly know the other, it makes me a little uncomfortable because I never know who is commenting. Also,it just makes them seem like they think their partner is so hot and everyone wants to take them away. Sorry, no. If you can't trust your partner to have their own friends, even online, you need to get off my internets.

It has nothing to do with possessiveness. It has to do with trust and sharing. There's nothing you need to say to me that you can't say to her, too. She's my partner in everything. I trust her more than I do any other person in the world, and so your stupid little Facebook messages simply do not trump my bond with my partner.

And yes, we are very much a "we" couple. I know people who haven't experienced true love can't even grasp this (Hell, I couldn't until I found her, and I had a lot of relationships) but when you find the one, they really are a part of you. The two of you together make a whole, complete, better whole than the halves you were before you found each other. Individuality isn't lost, but it sure is nice having someone whom you trust and love completely, to the point of feeling that you are both extensions of each other.

Like I said, it's hard to explain it in any way that anyone who doesn't experience would find at all believable, but it is what it is. We are a team. We are better because of it. Anything I say, she can hear. Anything said to me can also be said to her.

If you're closer to your friends than your wife, then you're not in love. If your friends have things that can only be said to you, then you're not in love. If you can't trust your partner with every single tiny detail of your existence, then they aren't the person you were meant to be with. That doesn't mean you HAVE TO share every detail, but that you take no measures to keep secrets or lead a double-life.

If your friends, once married, don't become ...


It's interesting how you think I haven't experienced true love because of a snarky post about a website that you don't even use. Also, I wonder about people like you who go around the internet taking general posts who are directed at no one in particular as if they were directed at you personally.
2013-04-14 02:48:43 PM  
1 votes:
Let me clarify: We don't use Facebook anymore. If we did, we would have no need to maintain separate accounts. We're a family, and the account would only be used to contact our family.

If you want to contact my family, that means me, her, and anyone else under the roof.
2013-04-14 02:30:00 PM  
1 votes:
As a terminally single man, that's how I see couples anyway. When everything you say or do with one is going to be reported to the other, there's no point in seeing them as individuals anymore.
2013-04-14 02:20:12 PM  
1 votes:
1. Facebook sucks, and any of you who continue using it have no right to complain, because it sucks and therefore you add to the suck by supporting it.

2. Google makes it a real biatch to set up an account as a couple. They want a single real name attached to each account, and when it's two (or more) people you have to fight their system to make a family account.

3. There's nothing wrong with wanting to use that social media crap to allow people who  insist on using it to contact  both people at once. If anyone on Facebook has anything to say to me, they can say it to my girl, too. I have nothing to hide from her, and she is the one most likely to get in contact with me if I miss the message.

4. That said, I don't use Facebook*, but I can see why people would want a "joint account" or a "family account".  When you're partnered up, and you're HAPPY in your partnership or family arrangement, you embrace the idea that you're a team. If you have to maintain separate accounts so that you have separate friends and conversations, then you're hiding things from your partner, even if it is mundane crap. If you don't share everything with your partner, then why are you partnered up in the first place? What's the point if you aren't going to experience life together and trust each other? I already divorced someone who was big on secrets, separateness and subterfuge. Never again.

*I maintain an account under a pseudonym, but only to enter contests that obnoxiously require Facebook to enter them; A practice I'd love to see abolished.

5. My choice to use a numbered list this time seems to have been a poor one, but never let it be said that I don't follow through.

6. Swiss cheese is better with beef than with chicken.

7. I could go for a cheeseburger right now.

8. Facebook and Twitter are representative of the worst problems with our society today. Social media is killing our ability to be intelligent, thoughtful, kind, considerate, tactful, loyal, or private. With some of you assholes, every action needs to be posted and tweeted and relayed to your entire network, and I hate you for it, because I don't give a damn about the minutiae of your life, or the lives of the other few billion people on Facebook or Twitter, and I REALLY don't think Facebook is the right place to share my family's activities and minor details with friends, extended family members, and acquaintances (as well as complete strangers). If I want my friends and extended family to know what's up with the ZC family, I'll email them, or call them, or let them know in person. I'll send a snail-mail letter before I'll post on Facebook.

9. Whenver I see articles that use Facebook as their commenting system, I'm guaranteed to see some of the  dumbest, most uninformed opinions outside of YouTube. That's a fact. And it makes me consider this: Do I really want to be among those assholes? Facebook is to conversation as Walmart is to mom & pop stores.

10. I just wanted to reach number ten because it felt like the right thing to do. Congratulations for getting this far. We should throw a party. With hookers. And blackjack.
2013-04-14 01:22:21 PM  
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: What about women who have nothing but pictures of their baby? I was looking up people from high school and the amount of profiles with nothing but the baby picture was 95+%.


Those are the best. If you want to see pictures of your sister's kids, they are right there. If you don't want to, you no longer have to have your coworker shove a bunch of pictures on your face.
2013-04-14 01:12:33 PM  
1 votes:
To me people with joint accounts come off as really possessive. When I am friends with one spouse and hardly know the other, it makes me a little uncomfortable because I never know who is commenting. Also,it just makes them seem like they think their partner is so hot and everyone wants to take them away. Sorry, no. If you can't trust your partner to have their own friends, even online, you need to get off my internets.
2013-04-14 12:41:41 PM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: Safety. You don't want some disgruntled prisoner tracking down your family. My friend is a parole officer, and the same rule applies.

Oh, and the day that Facebook becomes a constitutional right is the day we need to nuke the Earth from orbit and start over.


Hmm. Well, the first amendment and its protections of speech and association could apply, right? Plus, employers tend to have a pretty tough time in the eyes of the law when it comes to regulating off-work-away-from-workplace behavior (even, sometimes, when employees are on call). Federal labor law, for example, has been shown to protect some Facebook posts in terms of employer retaliation. I could see a private company being able to regulate Facebook use because most states are hire-and-fire-at-will anyway, but it's tough to see a public concern like a prison saying no facebook accounts across the board. Do you know if the rule is really just a suggestion, or if not, what legal basis they invoke?
2013-04-14 12:21:13 PM  
1 votes:
No. Joint. Anything.  amimean?
2013-04-14 11:00:23 AM  
1 votes:

BMFPitt: Those will be fun divorces.


Meh. Its just a FB acct. They can get individual ones later if they need to. Whether or not somebody makes a public spectacle of their marital problems has nothing to do with whether or not they share a FB acct.
2013-04-14 10:52:31 AM  
1 votes:

priapic_abandon: sharing online accounts is the electronic equivalent of these:

[rachelgit.files.wordpress.com image 408x275]


I remember seeing those at Spencer's.
2013-04-14 10:36:44 AM  
1 votes:

Gunny Walker: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one Facebook account. "
Genesis 2:24


And now the gheys want to ruin that too.

Your joint male/female facebook is doomed. What happened to the sanctity of joint facebook accounts? Next people will have joint facebook accounts with turtles.
2013-04-14 10:36:10 AM  
1 votes:
That crap drives me crazy. I have a friend who has an account that includes his wife. I don't know his wife... I never know who's commenting on what.
Sometimes they'll leave initials to let you know, but not often. His wife commented on a picture of mine one time and signed with her initials and I was like, I don't know you woman!

She also loves to post about how happy and in love she is like 10 times a day... I should really de-friend them.

/css
2013-04-14 10:34:35 AM  
1 votes:
So when they break up, who gets the account?
2013-04-14 10:33:44 AM  
1 votes:
I remember the good old days, when we didn't have to share with the rest of the world how many times we sh*t each day. and post pictures of same sh*t to show the world how proud of it we were.
then we'd head out to Shelbyville with an onion tied to our belts...
2013-04-14 10:27:58 AM  
1 votes:
Psychotherapist Dan Auerbach said couples who join social media accounts have a strong identity around who they belong to and who belongs to them.

A nice way of saying people who are defined but what they have, not who they are.

Or people who you should unfriend because they are boring as fark.
2013-04-14 10:25:25 AM  
1 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-04-14 10:23:29 AM  
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: What about women who have nothing but pictures of their baby? I was looking up people from high school and the amount of profiles with nothing but the baby picture was 95+%.


Some woman followed me on Twitter. Her profile read:

"Marketing enthusiast, cupcake connoisseur and MOST IMPORTANT a full-time Mommy!"

I thought my head would explode.
2013-04-14 10:21:57 AM  
1 votes:

phenn: Because sometimes... just sometimes... my husband doesn't want to hear about Grumpy Cat.


well, you just e-mail me. I always love grumpy cat.
2013-04-14 10:13:46 AM  
1 votes:
sharing online accounts is the electronic equivalent of these:

rachelgit.files.wordpress.com
2013-04-14 08:11:37 AM  
1 votes:
I can see it having its benefits in connecting with family, especially if one of the partners is a big social media person and the other is not.  Alternatively, my in-laws had a joint account, because of trust issues due to them being non-exclusive early in their relationship.  Anyway, it's nobody's business but the couple's.  I'd prefer my own account, but that's just me.
2013-04-14 08:06:34 AM  
1 votes:

Confabulat: please not contact her anymore.


Sounds like the kind of guy we'll be reading about in FARK eventually.
2013-04-14 04:01:39 AM  
1 votes:
I'll tell you what it means to me, as this just happened to me as I wrote an old girlfriend on her wedding night a message on Facebook only to have her fiance respond and say to please not contact her anymore.

She found Jesus.
 
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