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(Courier Mail)   More and more couples are merging their Twitter and Facebook accounts. "What does it mean when you want to portray yourself as a couple rather than an individual?"   (couriermail.com.au) divider line 134
    More: Weird, Facebook, Twitter, St Kilda, Facebook accounts, bank accounts, Dan Auerbach  
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3267 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2013 at 10:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-14 02:48:43 PM
Let me clarify: We don't use Facebook anymore. If we did, we would have no need to maintain separate accounts. We're a family, and the account would only be used to contact our family.

If you want to contact my family, that means me, her, and anyone else under the roof.
 
2013-04-14 03:04:15 PM

ZeroCorpse: sorebones: As a terminally single man, that's how I see couples anyway. When everything you say or do with one is going to be reported to the other, there's no point in seeing them as individuals anymore.

I kinda feel sorry for you. Sounds lonely.


It is sometimes, but I'd rather suffer occasional loneliness than lose my sense of self.
 
2013-04-14 03:46:45 PM

ZeroCorpse: ZombiesYall: To me people with joint accounts come off as really possessive. When I am friends with one spouse and hardly know the other, it makes me a little uncomfortable because I never know who is commenting. Also,it just makes them seem like they think their partner is so hot and everyone wants to take them away. Sorry, no. If you can't trust your partner to have their own friends, even online, you need to get off my internets.

It has nothing to do with possessiveness. It has to do with trust and sharing. There's nothing you need to say to me that you can't say to her, too. She's my partner in everything. I trust her more than I do any other person in the world, and so your stupid little Facebook messages simply do not trump my bond with my partner.

And yes, we are very much a "we" couple. I know people who haven't experienced true love can't even grasp this (Hell, I couldn't until I found her, and I had a lot of relationships) but when you find the one, they really are a part of you. The two of you together make a whole, complete, better whole than the halves you were before you found each other. Individuality isn't lost, but it sure is nice having someone whom you trust and love completely, to the point of feeling that you are both extensions of each other.

Like I said, it's hard to explain it in any way that anyone who doesn't experience would find at all believable, but it is what it is. We are a team. We are better because of it. Anything I say, she can hear. Anything said to me can also be said to her.

If you're closer to your friends than your wife, then you're not in love. If your friends have things that can only be said to you, then you're not in love. If you can't trust your partner with every single tiny detail of your existence, then they aren't the person you were meant to be with. That doesn't mean you HAVE TO share every detail, but that you take no measures to keep secrets or lead a double-life.

If your friends, once married, don't become "our friends", then eventually you will have problems when the friends f♥ck up your marriage. Anybody who needs to have access to you exclusively without your partner as part of the package is a selfish, jealous twat. Your partner should be your very best friend in the most honest, true way possible. Not the stupid lip-service way most people say it in, but in a genuine way: They should be the one you want to hang out with before  anybody else.


You are extraordinarily creepy.
 
2013-04-14 03:53:52 PM

ZeroCorpse: ZombiesYall: To me people with joint accounts come off as really possessive. When I am friends with one spouse and hardly know the other, it makes me a little uncomfortable because I never know who is commenting. Also,it just makes them seem like they think their partner is so hot and everyone wants to take them away. Sorry, no. If you can't trust your partner to have their own friends, even online, you need to get off my internets.

It has nothing to do with possessiveness. It has to do with trust and sharing. There's nothing you need to say to me that you can't say to her, too. She's my partner in everything. I trust her more than I do any other person in the world, and so your stupid little Facebook messages simply do not trump my bond with my partner.

And yes, we are very much a "we" couple. I know people who haven't experienced true love can't even grasp this (Hell, I couldn't until I found her, and I had a lot of relationships) but when you find the one, they really are a part of you. The two of you together make a whole, complete, better whole than the halves you were before you found each other. Individuality isn't lost, but it sure is nice having someone whom you trust and love completely, to the point of feeling that you are both extensions of each other.

Like I said, it's hard to explain it in any way that anyone who doesn't experience would find at all believable, but it is what it is. We are a team. We are better because of it. Anything I say, she can hear. Anything said to me can also be said to her.

If you're closer to your friends than your wife, then you're not in love. If your friends have things that can only be said to you, then you're not in love. If you can't trust your partner with every single tiny detail of your existence, then they aren't the person you were meant to be with. That doesn't mean you HAVE TO share every detail, but that you take no measures to keep secrets or lead a double-life.

If your friends, once married, don't become ...


It's interesting how you think I haven't experienced true love because of a snarky post about a website that you don't even use. Also, I wonder about people like you who go around the internet taking general posts who are directed at no one in particular as if they were directed at you personally.
 
2013-04-14 03:54:06 PM
Those people in the article are hideous. I think they should put pictures of their cars or cats on their facebook, not their faces
 
2013-04-14 03:55:46 PM
I view friends that do this as being dead. Really they are. They no longer have a right to make any decisions. I defriend them online and in person.
 
2013-04-14 04:41:15 PM

SkerriNinja: I have a former high school friend who does this. She signed up on Facebook as "Ted LovesHisWifeShelly LastName". He has never once posted. But she posts about him all the time, so now he looks like one of those pompous asses that speaks only in third person. I'll bet you $20 that he never even knew she started the page.


is she five?
/don't have a facebook
//forever alone
 
2013-04-14 05:00:02 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: What about women who have nothing but pictures of their baby? I was looking up people from high school and the amount of profiles with nothing but the baby picture was 95+%.


Hide all new parents in your news feed, easy way to get rid of endless babies.
 
2013-04-14 05:10:51 PM

eddiesocket: ChemicalChance: These couples are almost always unmarried parents in their early twenties and it's always the woman's idea. If this happens to a male friend of mine, being female, I assume that: a) his balls are now in his girlfriend's hand, b) his life is miserable now, and c) I'm not allowed to be friends with him, not that he'd be any fun to be around any more anyway. DH and I have separate accounts. We know each others' passwords as a safeguard in case of unforeseen circumstances, but I can honestly say I've never once used it.

Joint Facebook accounts are the lamest thing imaginable, and I automatically assume that a couple who have one have an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Usually on the woman's part, but also sometimes the guy's.

You're being willfully blind if you don't think there are just as many, if not more, controlling men in relationships. But instead of a joint Facebook account, they'd be more likely to not allow an account at all.


Re-read her post again. If a couple has joint facebook accounts, she assumes it's the woman creating a controlling relationship. Your second sentence agreed with her. Your first sentence has nothing to do with her post.
 
2013-04-14 05:13:37 PM
I wonder if people who share email and Facebook accounts also listen in on every phone call their significant other makes.
 
2013-04-14 05:13:38 PM

bigbobowski: MaxSupernova: one-in-the-chamber: facebook sucks. honestly, it is the worst. it is the 21 century version of the Christmas card you get with the photo of the family on it. only 365 24/7. please let this sink in. no one cares that you went to florida and little jimmie touched a manatee. you only do this for your self, and MAYBE your closest relatives. I gotta idea, pick up a phone, and share it.
and then we headed out to Shelbyville with an onion tied to our belts...

I just got back from seaworld and i put a pic of my daughter petting a dolphin so im getting a kick out of this.

i may be in the minority here but I like seeing my friends and family post pics of trips or interesting things they do.  Thats kinda the readson i am on facebook.  I don't care one bit about their politics or all the other stuff people post but the 24/7/365 christmas card stuff is kinda what I am there for.

However....i dont want to know every detail of your life but the occasional highlight is kinda cool

dude. no one cares. really, no one. except your wife, and maybe mom-in-law. let me ask you this, you maybe to young, but do you remember bringing "photographs" of your vacation to work, or for that matter your wedding photos? NO ONE cares about your day to day existence but you, and those with whom you directly interact.


10-4 champ

No one cares but the people who do care....I totally understand now.
 
2013-04-14 05:14:06 PM

ZeroCorpse: ZombiesYall: To me people with joint accounts come off as really possessive. When I am friends with one spouse and hardly know the other, it makes me a little uncomfortable because I never know who is commenting. Also,it just makes them seem like they think their partner is so hot and everyone wants to take them away. Sorry, no. If you can't trust your partner to have their own friends, even online, you need to get off my internets.

It has nothing to do with possessiveness. It has to do with trust and sharing. There's nothing you need to say to me that you can't say to her, too. She's my partner in everything. I trust her more than I do any other person in the world, and so your stupid little Facebook messages simply do not trump my bond with my partner.

And yes, we are very much a "we" couple. I know people who haven't experienced true love can't even grasp this (Hell, I couldn't until I found her, and I had a lot of relationships) but when you find the one, they really are a part of you. The two of you together make a whole, complete, better whole than the halves you were before you found each other. Individuality isn't lost, but it sure is nice having someone whom you trust and love completely, to the point of feeling that you are both extensions of each other.

Like I said, it's hard to explain it in any way that anyone who doesn't experience would find at all believable, but it is what it is. We are a team. We are better because of it. Anything I say, she can hear. Anything said to me can also be said to her.

If you're closer to your friends than your wife, then you're not in love. If your friends have things that can only be said to you, then you're not in love. If you can't trust your partner with every single tiny detail of your existence, then they aren't the person you were meant to be with. That doesn't mean you HAVE TO share every detail, but that you take no measures to keep secrets or lead a double-life.

If your friends, once married, don't become ...


That sounds sad.
 
2013-04-14 05:20:02 PM

Bisu: eddiesocket: ChemicalChance: These couples are almost always unmarried parents in their early twenties and it's always the woman's idea. If this happens to a male friend of mine, being female, I assume that: a) his balls are now in his girlfriend's hand, b) his life is miserable now, and c) I'm not allowed to be friends with him, not that he'd be any fun to be around any more anyway. DH and I have separate accounts. We know each others' passwords as a safeguard in case of unforeseen circumstances, but I can honestly say I've never once used it.

Joint Facebook accounts are the lamest thing imaginable, and I automatically assume that a couple who have one have an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Usually on the woman's part, but also sometimes the guy's.

You're being willfully blind if you don't think there are just as many, if not more, controlling men in relationships. But instead of a joint Facebook account, they'd be more likely to not allow an account at all.

Re-read her post again. If a couple has joint facebook accounts, she assumes it's the woman creating a controlling relationship. Your second sentence agreed with her. Your first sentence has nothing to do with her post.


I'm going to say something that's never been said on the internet before: I was wrong. Point taken.
 
2013-04-14 05:22:09 PM

Dragonflew: I wonder if people who share email and Facebook accounts also listen in on every phone call their significant other makes.


Also, since couples like Zero Corpse and his lucky lady can't have a single written exchange with another human without the other one being a part of it, are they allowed to converse with people face to face without the other one there? I'm thinking no. That would be like a secret and those are death to true love.
 
2013-04-14 05:30:27 PM
It means that you're a needy, whining, insecure shrew, and that your passive husband is getting his sexual needs met from dudes at Home Depot, which is why he's there all the time.
 
2013-04-14 05:34:14 PM

95BV5: enry: Yeesh. The only thing we share online is a google calendar so we can stay in sync on our schedules.

/marred for 17 years

Best typo EVER.


Who said it was a typo? I loved it for the face value.
 
2013-04-14 05:44:00 PM

sorebones: As a terminally single man, that's how I see couples anyway. When everything you say or do with one is going to be reported to the other, there's no point in seeing them as individuals anymore.


Good point. Really good point.
 
2013-04-14 05:45:41 PM
"We've been together 16 years, we have three kids, there's not a lot that we can hide from each other," Ms Stanton-Cook said.

Not a lot. I think you might want to look at that not a lot. It could actually be a lot.
 
2013-04-14 05:52:17 PM

ZeroCorpse: ZombiesYall: To me people with joint accounts come off as really possessive. When I am friends with one spouse and hardly know the other, it makes me a little uncomfortable because I never know who is commenting. Also,it just makes them seem like they think their partner is so hot and everyone wants to take them away. Sorry, no. If you can't trust your partner to have their own friends, even online, you need to get off my internets.

It has nothing to do with possessiveness. It has to do with trust and sharing. There's nothing you need to say to me that you can't say to her, too. She's my partner in everything. I trust her more than I do any other person in the world, and so your stupid little Facebook messages simply do not trump my bond with my partner.

And yes, we are very much a "we" couple. I know people who haven't experienced true love can't even grasp this (Hell, I couldn't until I found her, and I had a lot of relationships) but when you find the one, they really are a part of you. The two of you together make a whole, complete, better whole than the halves you were before you found each other. Individuality isn't lost, but it sure is nice having someone whom you trust and love completely, to the point of feeling that you are both extensions of each other.

Like I said, it's hard to explain it in any way that anyone who doesn't experience would find at all believable, but it is what it is. We are a team. We are better because of it. Anything I say, she can hear. Anything said to me can also be said to her.

If you're closer to your friends than your wife, then you're not in love. If your friends have things that can only be said to you, then you're not in love. If you can't trust your partner with every single tiny detail of your existence, then they aren't the person you were meant to be with. That doesn't mean you HAVE TO share every detail, but that you take no measures to keep secrets or lead a double-life.

If your friends, once married, don't become ...


So who is the controller in this relationship?
 
2013-04-14 05:53:01 PM
Do FB and Twitter allow couples to merge their existing accounts and old content, or do you have to create a new account and start from scratch?  If someone's going to "move in" to the other's accounts and abandon their own, who should it be?
 
2013-04-14 05:54:23 PM

ZeroCorpse: sorebones: As a terminally single man, that's how I see couples anyway. When everything you say or do with one is going to be reported to the other, there's no point in seeing them as individuals anymore.

I kinda feel sorry for you. Sounds lonely.


Sounds practical to me. When you see two people as one it becomes an issue. They have both lost their identities.
 
2013-04-14 05:56:56 PM

sorebones: ZeroCorpse: sorebones: As a terminally single man, that's how I see couples anyway. When everything you say or do with one is going to be reported to the other, there's no point in seeing them as individuals anymore.

I kinda feel sorry for you. Sounds lonely.

It is sometimes, but I'd rather suffer occasional loneliness than lose my sense of self.


You just made my faves list. Totally agree.
 
2013-04-14 06:26:07 PM
With email, which we actually use, it's transparency.
Although we had one guy email us and ask if we were swingers.  We are not.
Apparently, email address formatted as himandher is a shibboleth for swingers.  who knew?

for fb and twitter?  I had a fb account once because one of my friends had one & wanted to contact me on it.
I think I logged in once.  It reminded me of a geocities homepage. yeech.
find out later the friend also decided fb is completely vapid and never used his again either

Tanya has a twitter account so she can follow Elle Fowler, but never figured out how to transmit.  Other than using it for what's basically rss, it also seems like a complete waste of time.

She's reading this as I type; the "swingers" thing was kinda funny because we had NO idea.  Guy on the other end wants to know if we had any nekkid pix to share and we looked at each other " WHAT did he just ask?  And what in the hell gave him the idea this was an appropriate thing to say to someone?!!"  We figured it was the GIFT, but then he explained the naming convention.
 
2013-04-14 06:50:18 PM

eddiesocket: Okay yeah, I'm gonna have to take their side on this one.
/not a Jesus freak. Atheist, in fact. But picking a fight with the bride on her wedding night will get you that response 100% of the time. Why did you think you'd be invited, anyway? Exes don't usually get invited. Were you guys still good friends up till that point?


Good friends? We were best friends for over 20 years until she found Jesus. Damn right I expected an invite.
 
2013-04-14 08:26:37 PM

ZeroCorpse: 1. Facebook sucks, and any of you who continue using it have no right to complain, because it sucks and therefore you add to the suck by supporting it.


You got onto my faves list with that alone. The only thing less important than Facebook and Twitter is whether or not people share an account. The entire thing is full of useless drivel and pictures of precious snowflakes posted for the benefit of relatives, who probably don't really care either. But if it makes people happy, go ahead and amuse yourself on it, just stop whining at how others choose to use it.

I actually also agree with ZeroCorpse's post beginning with "It has nothing to do with possessiveness. It has to do with trust and sharing. There's nothing you need to say to me that you can't say to her, too. She's my partner in everything. I trust her more than I do any other person in the world, and so your stupid little Facebook messages simply do not trump my bond with my partner".

Really, if your partner isn't the one person you want to hang out with before anybody else, why would you marry them?
 
2013-04-14 08:38:11 PM

Nidiot: ZeroCorpse: 1. Facebook sucks, and any of you who continue using it have no right to complain, because it sucks and therefore you add to the suck by supporting it.

You got onto my faves list with that alone. The only thing less important than Facebook and Twitter is whether or not people share an account. The entire thing is full of useless drivel and pictures of precious snowflakes posted for the benefit of relatives, who probably don't really care either. But if it makes people happy, go ahead and amuse yourself on it, just stop whining at how others choose to use it.

I actually also agree with ZeroCorpse's post beginning with "It has nothing to do with possessiveness. It has to do with trust and sharing. There's nothing you need to say to me that you can't say to her, too. She's my partner in everything. I trust her more than I do any other person in the world, and so your stupid little Facebook messages simply do not trump my bond with my partner".

Really, if your partner isn't the one person you want to hang out with before anybody else, why would you marry them?


Agreed. You should enjoy being around your spouse more than anyone else. Now what does that have to do with having a joint Facebook account?
 
2013-04-14 08:41:12 PM

eddiesocket: Nidiot: ZeroCorpse: 1. Facebook sucks, and any of you who continue using it have no right to complain, because it sucks and therefore you add to the suck by supporting it.

You got onto my faves list with that alone. The only thing less important than Facebook and Twitter is whether or not people share an account. The entire thing is full of useless drivel and pictures of precious snowflakes posted for the benefit of relatives, who probably don't really care either. But if it makes people happy, go ahead and amuse yourself on it, just stop whining at how others choose to use it.

I actually also agree with ZeroCorpse's post beginning with "It has nothing to do with possessiveness. It has to do with trust and sharing. There's nothing you need to say to me that you can't say to her, too. She's my partner in everything. I trust her more than I do any other person in the world, and so your stupid little Facebook messages simply do not trump my bond with my partner".

Really, if your partner isn't the one person you want to hang out with before anybody else, why would you marry them?

Agreed. You should enjoy being around your spouse more than anyone else. Now what does that have to do with having a joint Facebook account?


Oh, and why is Fark less "superficial drivel" than Facebook?
 
2013-04-14 08:50:27 PM

Confabulat: eddiesocket: Okay yeah, I'm gonna have to take their side on this one.
/not a Jesus freak. Atheist, in fact. But picking a fight with the bride on her wedding night will get you that response 100% of the time. Why did you think you'd be invited, anyway? Exes don't usually get invited. Were you guys still good friends up till that point?

Good friends? We were best friends for over 20 years until she found Jesus. Damn right I expected an invite.


I'm so very sorry you didn't get an invitation to the wedding. It must have been quite traumatic for you. Hopefully with the help of a really good therapist plus some medication you will be able to pick up the shattered pieces of your life and get through this atrocious event without permanent scarring to your soul. It would be just so easy to fall into a black pit of despair after a catastrophe such as that. Fancy someone choosing to start a new life, with a new man, and not inviting you. You, of all people. The horror of it goes beyond what most people could imagine. Sheesh, if numbers were tight she could have not invited her mother. Just remember though, time heals all wounds.

Then, when you do finally get over this nightmare inducing tragedy, you might consider the wisdom of choosing the wedding night as the right time to bring up the subject of why you weren't invited, or maybe it could occur to you, without you having to ask at all, that it is perfectly normal for exes to not be invited to the wedding, and they are usually perfectly fine with that.
 
2013-04-14 09:02:52 PM

eddiesocket: Oh, and why is Fark less "superficial drivel" than Facebook?


It isn't. Well okay, Fark doesn't have a metric ass-load of baby pictures, which makes it superior. Obviously.

But I'm fine with using any superficial drivel filled site as takes your fancy. Just don't make out it is somehow significant how people use such an amusement though. Why biatch that their using the site doesn't match your ideas of how they should use the site? If it makes them happy to use a joint account, good for them, if you don't want to have a joint account, you don't have to. I don't like Facebook at all, so I don't use it at all. Simple.
 
2013-04-14 11:58:12 PM

ZeroCorpse: Let me clarify: We don't use Facebook anymore. If we did, we would have no need to maintain separate accounts. We're a family, and the account would only be used to contact our family.

If you want to contact my family, that means me, her, and anyone else under the roof.


You are borg.
 
2013-04-15 02:07:26 AM
"What does it mean when you want to portray yourself as a couple rather than an individual?"

It means your pussywhipped.
 
2013-04-15 02:44:58 AM

MaxSupernova: .i dont want to know every detail of your life but the occasional highlight is kinda cool


You could always engage in meaningful two-way communication them.  Putting something on your wall for everyone to see is not communication in any meaningful sense, any more than standing in the town square monologuing at anyone in hearing distance is.

Lots of people say "I have a facebook to keep up with my friends / relatives I never have anything to do with otherwise".  So the 200 people from high school, college, and those 50 distant relatives you literally cannot be bothered to even pick up the phone for... you're interested in them?  Are you really?  Because it doesn't sound like it.  It sounds like you just have a hard time letting go of long dead relationships.

If you can't put in the minimal effort of a phone call, e-mail, or card every once in a while, you're not friends.  If someone doesn't consider you important enough to warrant actual personal communication, you're not friends.  You're strangers standing in a the town square, waving posterboards over your heads.
 
2013-04-15 02:50:12 AM
I wonder if people do this because one of them are distrustful/jealous or domineering or if one has a history of cheating.
 
2013-04-15 06:14:55 AM
Lots of hate up in here. This looks a lot like a Facebook thread.
 
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