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(Courier Mail)   More and more couples are merging their Twitter and Facebook accounts. "What does it mean when you want to portray yourself as a couple rather than an individual?"   (couriermail.com.au) divider line 134
    More: Weird, Facebook, Twitter, St Kilda, Facebook accounts, bank accounts, Dan Auerbach  
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3275 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2013 at 10:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-14 10:56:54 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: What about women who have nothing but pictures of their baby? I was looking up people from high school and the amount of profiles with nothing but the baby picture was 95+%.


That is about affirmation.

Women want--no, need--to constantly be told how gorgeous their baby is, how perfect is is, how smart it might be, and that the woman is a excellent mother.

The alternative is to accepte that they are cheap whores who should have kept their legs together in the first place.
 
2013-04-14 10:56:57 AM  
I have a former high school friend who does this. She signed up on Facebook as "Ted LovesHisWifeShelly LastName". He has never once posted. But she posts about him all the time, so now he looks like one of those pompous asses that speaks only in third person. I'll bet you $20 that he never even knew she started the page.
 
2013-04-14 10:57:01 AM  
My sister in law is a counselor at a prison and forbidden to have a Facebook account, but they can't stop her husband, so hers changed in a few months from her name to theirs to only his. Now there is a guy named Frank on my friends list who posts nothing but baby pictures.
 
2013-04-14 10:58:33 AM  

derpy: accepte


that's the french spelling
 
2013-04-14 11:00:23 AM  

BMFPitt: Those will be fun divorces.


Meh. Its just a FB acct. They can get individual ones later if they need to. Whether or not somebody makes a public spectacle of their marital problems has nothing to do with whether or not they share a FB acct.
 
2013-04-14 11:02:30 AM  

Koodz: My sister in law is a counselor at a prison and forbidden to have a Facebook account, but they can't stop her husband, so hers changed in a few months from her name to theirs to only his. Now there is a guy named Frank on my friends list who posts nothing but baby pictures.


Please esplain. Why is she forbidden to have a FB? I can see a very stern advisement that it would be unwise, but forbidding seems like a Constitutional violation or something.
 
2013-04-14 11:04:05 AM  

SundaesChild: Koodz: My sister in law is a counselor at a prison and forbidden to have a Facebook account, but they can't stop her husband, so hers changed in a few months from her name to theirs to only his. Now there is a guy named Frank on my friends list who posts nothing but baby pictures.

Please esplain. Why is she forbidden to have a FB? I can see a very stern advisement that it would be unwise, but forbidding seems like a Constitutional violation or something.


Safety. You don't want some disgruntled prisoner tracking down your family. My friend is a parole officer, and the same rule applies.

Oh, and the day that Facebook becomes a constitutional right is the day we need to nuke the Earth from orbit and start over.
 
2013-04-14 11:04:55 AM  

WhippingBoy: Mr. Coffee Nerves: It means the husband's got a secret account through a gmail address operated by a "Captain Dick Hammer"

Doesn't every married man have at least one of these?


no, just yours.
 
2013-04-14 11:07:41 AM  
It means you have a lack of trust in the relationship.
 
2013-04-14 11:14:11 AM  

Gunny Walker: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one Facebook account. "
Genesis 2:24


+1

I closed my FB account ages ago and so did my BF. I guess if we were ever married and he wanted to open a new account and have us share it, I wouldn't care but I doubt he'd want to open another FB account.

Every so often I think of getting back on Facebook but then I slap some sense back into my self.

Now if he wanted to share my Fark account....no way-no way!
 
2013-04-14 11:16:03 AM  

WhippingBoy: the day that Facebook becomes a constitutional right is the day we need to nuke the Earth from orbit and start over


It's still less dangerous and more useful than guns.
 
2013-04-14 11:22:14 AM  
These couples are almost always unmarried parents in their early twenties and it's always the woman's idea. If this happens to a male friend of mine, being female, I assume that: a) his balls are now in his girlfriend's hand, b) his life is miserable now, and c) I'm not allowed to be friends with him, not that he'd be any fun to be around any more anyway. DH and I have separate accounts. We know each others' passwords as a safeguard in case of unforeseen circumstances, but I can honestly say I've never once used it.

Joint Facebook accounts are the lamest thing imaginable, and I automatically assume that a couple who have one have an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Usually on the woman's part, but also sometimes the guy's.
 
2013-04-14 11:23:38 AM  
"You're Schmoopy!"
"No, you're Schmoopy!"

Where's George Costanza when you need him?
 
2013-04-14 11:24:07 AM  
FTFA: '

"Some individuals may use it more separately because they feel more comfortable having their identity in their separate self rather than their couple self," Mr Auerbach said.

"Some couples are much more tightly bonded."'


Is it just me, or is this implying that couples who have separate FB/Twitter accounts aren't as close as couples who have joint accounts?


EbolaNYC: It means you have a lack of trust in the relationship.


I agree. Plus, my boyfriend and I have many different interests (some shared, too, of course). Our Wall would be a hodgepodge of seemingly contradictory likes, ads, and even posts. And how would posts/comments work?

Person1: "Hey honey, I want to put this on our wall."

P2: "No, I really don't want that going on there. It represents me, too, and I don't agree with the idea."

P1: "I know you don't, but I do. I deserve to put my opinion out."

P2: "I agree. But I don't support [insert controversial topic] and I don't want co-workers coming up and asking me about it at lunch tomorrow."

P1: "I want to express myself! I NEED TO EXPRESS MYSELF!!! WHHHHHARRRGGGARBL!"

P2: "Oh, for f*ck's sake. I don't want a joint account anymore."

P1: "You're Facebook divorcing me?! There's another person,  isn't there? I knew it!"

P2: [face palms]
 
2013-04-14 11:29:30 AM  

Confabulat: I'll tell you what it means to me, as this just happened to me as I wrote an old girlfriend on her wedding night a message on Facebook only to have her fiance respond and say to please not contact her anymore.

She found Jesus.


Hmm, I'd like to take your side, but your timing is suspicious. Why did you write her on her wedding night, and what did the message say?
 
2013-04-14 11:30:08 AM  
facebook sucks. honestly, it is the worst. it is the 21 century version of the Christmas card you get with the photo of the family on it. only 365 24/7. please let this sink in. no one cares that you went to florida and little jimmie touched a manatee. you only do this for your self, and MAYBE your closest relatives. I gotta idea, pick up a phone, and share it.
and then we headed out to Shelbyville with an onion tied to our belts...
 
2013-04-14 11:30:15 AM  

Earguy: Mrs. Earguy and I have done this for years.  We still get communications from old ex'es, but it's all above-board.  We don't get those "we ought to meet" or "I never stopped loving you" messages.


Creepy. Are y
 
2013-04-14 11:31:06 AM  
my parents both use the same email account and they both hate it.  Emails one of them wants get marked read or deleted and vice versa.  I've pointed out that email accounts are free and I could even help them set one up but they're both too stubborn to give up on using the same email.
 
2013-04-14 11:33:10 AM  

oryx: You don't trust your partner?


That's exactly what it is. Desperate insecurity, the type you should have grown out of by your early 20's.
 
2013-04-14 11:35:17 AM  
The "we" people have always existed.  They stop saying "I," and instead it's always "We..." because they've surrendered their individuality.  This is just an extension of that.
 
2013-04-14 11:39:13 AM  

ChemicalChance: These couples are almost always unmarried parents in their early twenties and it's always the woman's idea. If this happens to a male friend of mine, being female, I assume that: a) his balls are now in his girlfriend's hand, b) his life is miserable now, and c) I'm not allowed to be friends with him, not that he'd be any fun to be around any more anyway. DH and I have separate accounts. We know each others' passwords as a safeguard in case of unforeseen circumstances, but I can honestly say I've never once used it.

Joint Facebook accounts are the lamest thing imaginable, and I automatically assume that a couple who have one have an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Usually on the woman's part, but also sometimes the guy's.


You're being willfully blind if you don't think there are just as many, if not more, controlling men in relationships. But instead of a joint Facebook account, they'd be more likely to not allow an account at all.
 
2013-04-14 11:39:31 AM  
Profound brain damage?
 
2013-04-14 11:39:52 AM  

eddiesocket: Confabulat: I'll tell you what it means to me, as this just happened to me as I wrote an old girlfriend on her wedding night a message on Facebook only to have her fiance respond and say to please not contact her anymore.

She found Jesus.

Hmm, I'd like to take your side, but your timing is suspicious. Why did you write her on her wedding night, and what did the message say?


Oh it wasn't mean. At first. I wondered why I didn't get a wedding invite. She said I didn't respect Jesus or marriage enough.

Ok then it got a little mean. Then he chimed in.
 
2013-04-14 11:43:32 AM  

Confabulat: eddiesocket: Confabulat: I'll tell you what it means to me, as this just happened to me as I wrote an old girlfriend on her wedding night a message on Facebook only to have her fiance respond and say to please not contact her anymore.

She found Jesus.

Hmm, I'd like to take your side, but your timing is suspicious. Why did you write her on her wedding night, and what did the message say?

Oh it wasn't mean. At first. I wondered why I didn't get a wedding invite. She said I didn't respect Jesus or marriage enough.

Ok then it got a little mean. Then he chimed in.


Okay yeah, I'm gonna have to take their side on this one.
/not a Jesus freak. Atheist, in fact. But picking a fight with the bride on her wedding night will get you that response 100% of the time. Why did you think you'd be invited, anyway? Exes don't usually get invited. Were you guys still good friends up till that point?
 
2013-04-14 11:45:08 AM  

eddiesocket: ChemicalChance: These couples are almost always unmarried parents in their early twenties and it's always the woman's idea. If this happens to a male friend of mine, being female, I assume that: a) his balls are now in his girlfriend's hand, b) his life is miserable now, and c) I'm not allowed to be friends with him, not that he'd be any fun to be around any more anyway. DH and I have separate accounts. We know each others' passwords as a safeguard in case of unforeseen circumstances, but I can honestly say I've never once used it.

Joint Facebook accounts are the lamest thing imaginable, and I automatically assume that a couple who have one have an unhealthy, controlling relationship. Usually on the woman's part, but also sometimes the guy's.

You're being willfully blind if you don't think there are just as many, if not more, controlling men in relationships. But instead of a joint Facebook account, they'd be more likely to not allow an account at all.


being female, I assume that: a) his balls are now in his girlfriend's hand,  I stopped reading there!
 
2013-04-14 11:59:46 AM  

one-in-the-chamber: facebook sucks. honestly, it is the worst. it is the 21 century version of the Christmas card you get with the photo of the family on it. only 365 24/7. please let this sink in. no one cares that you went to florida and little jimmie touched a manatee. you only do this for your self, and MAYBE your closest relatives. I gotta idea, pick up a phone, and share it.
and then we headed out to Shelbyville with an onion tied to our belts...


I just got back from seaworld and i put a pic of my daughter petting a dolphin so im getting a kick out of this.

i may be in the minority here but I like seeing my friends and family post pics of trips or interesting things they do.  Thats kinda the readson i am on facebook.  I don't care one bit about their politics or all the other stuff people post but the 24/7/365 christmas card stuff is kinda what I am there for.

However....i dont want to know every detail of your life but the occasional highlight is kinda cool
 
2013-04-14 12:18:25 PM  
One of the partners found out they can keep all the kinky stuff on the downlow at Fetlife.com?
 
2013-04-14 12:21:13 PM  
No. Joint. Anything.  amimean?
 
2013-04-14 12:32:24 PM  

enry: Yeesh. The only thing we share online is a google calendar so we can stay in sync on our schedules.

/marred for 17 years


Best typo EVER.
 
2013-04-14 12:35:57 PM  
Psychotherapist Dan Auerbach

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-14 12:40:02 PM  

Mad_Radhu: One of the partners found out they can keep all the kinky stuff on the downlow at Fetlife.com?


I'm picturing insurance-company commercials with Snoopy in leather.
/NTTAWWT
 
2013-04-14 12:40:05 PM  

edmo: Confabulat: please not contact her anymore.

Sounds like the kind of guy we'll be reading about in FARK eventually.


seriously. old friend miles away? not MY wife! well hello Mr.Insecurity

Mad_Radhu: One of the partners found out they can keep all the kinky stuff on the downlow at Fetlife.com?


one learns of all the best sites on Fark.
 
2013-04-14 12:41:41 PM  

WhippingBoy: Safety. You don't want some disgruntled prisoner tracking down your family. My friend is a parole officer, and the same rule applies.

Oh, and the day that Facebook becomes a constitutional right is the day we need to nuke the Earth from orbit and start over.


Hmm. Well, the first amendment and its protections of speech and association could apply, right? Plus, employers tend to have a pretty tough time in the eyes of the law when it comes to regulating off-work-away-from-workplace behavior (even, sometimes, when employees are on call). Federal labor law, for example, has been shown to protect some Facebook posts in terms of employer retaliation. I could see a private company being able to regulate Facebook use because most states are hire-and-fire-at-will anyway, but it's tough to see a public concern like a prison saying no facebook accounts across the board. Do you know if the rule is really just a suggestion, or if not, what legal basis they invoke?
 
2013-04-14 12:47:46 PM  

MaxSupernova: one-in-the-chamber: facebook sucks. honestly, it is the worst. it is the 21 century version of the Christmas card you get with the photo of the family on it. only 365 24/7. please let this sink in. no one cares that you went to florida and little jimmie touched a manatee. you only do this for your self, and MAYBE your closest relatives. I gotta idea, pick up a phone, and share it.
and then we headed out to Shelbyville with an onion tied to our belts...

I just got back from seaworld and i put a pic of my daughter petting a dolphin so im getting a kick out of this.

i may be in the minority here but I like seeing my friends and family post pics of trips or interesting things they do.  Thats kinda the readson i am on facebook.  I don't care one bit about their politics or all the other stuff people post but the 24/7/365 christmas card stuff is kinda what I am there for.

However....i dont want to know every detail of your life but the occasional highlight is kinda cool


dude. no one cares. really, no one. except your wife, and maybe mom-in-law. let me ask you this, you maybe to young, but do you remember bringing "photographs" of your vacation to work, or for that matter your wedding photos? NO ONE cares about your day to day existence but you, and those with whom you directly interact.
 
2013-04-14 12:47:47 PM  
I know a couple with a joint Facebook account. Going off their history, it's likely due to the guy being an over-controlling asshole who hates it when the lass has guy friends who he can't constantly monitor.

They got married two months ago.
 
2013-04-14 12:50:57 PM  
I did it "to" myself. grammer police! attack!
 
2013-04-14 12:52:31 PM  
I absolutely hate this shiat. I never know who I'm talking to.
 
2013-04-14 12:55:59 PM  
The ex I never merged Facebook accounts. I'm glad we didn't now. The only couple I know who has merged their accounts is a hyper-fundie couple who did it as a condition of his parole for looking at porn.

/I wish I was kidding
 
2013-04-14 01:12:33 PM  
To me people with joint accounts come off as really possessive. When I am friends with one spouse and hardly know the other, it makes me a little uncomfortable because I never know who is commenting. Also,it just makes them seem like they think their partner is so hot and everyone wants to take them away. Sorry, no. If you can't trust your partner to have their own friends, even online, you need to get off my internets.
 
2013-04-14 01:19:16 PM  

SundaesChild: I can see it having its benefits in connecting with family, especially if one of the partners is a big social media person and the other is not.  Alternatively, my in-laws had a joint account, because of trust issues due to them being non-exclusive early in their relationship.  Anyway, it's nobody's business but the couple's.  I'd prefer my own account, but that's just me.


I disagree that it is only their business. I have a friend who I like to stay in contact with but who has an obnoxious, bigoted, self-righteous, condescending asshole of a wife. If they had a merged account, I'd miss his funny, interesting posts.
 
2013-04-14 01:22:21 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: What about women who have nothing but pictures of their baby? I was looking up people from high school and the amount of profiles with nothing but the baby picture was 95+%.


Those are the best. If you want to see pictures of your sister's kids, they are right there. If you don't want to, you no longer have to have your coworker shove a bunch of pictures on your face.
 
2013-04-14 01:40:08 PM  

Malenfant: The "we" people have always existed.  They stop saying "I," and instead it's always "We..." because they've surrendered their individuality.  This is just an extension of that.


These are the same people who have no personal identity unless they're somebody else's girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/mother/father, etc. They'll talk your ear off about their spouse and/or kids, but ask them about themselves and they're just...stumped.
 
2013-04-14 01:49:39 PM  
Neither my boyfriend nor I have Facebook accounts, but if we did, I certainly would not want a joint account with him.  I have my own friends and interests, as does he.  Just because we're a couple doesn't mean every facet of our lives must be shackled to each other in perpetuity.  We have separate Twitter accounts, separate e-mail accounts.....blending everything together, whether you're married or not, looks like you can't trust that other person and need a way to check up on them to make sure they're not doing something you don't think they're supposed to.
 
2013-04-14 02:02:30 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: It means I hate you.

And stop sending your spouse public lovey messages on Facebook.


I agree soooooooo much!  I can't stand those stupid Facebook messages...

"Love you princess, have a great day!"

Just say it to their d_mn face and don't drag all of the rest of us along for the ride.  We know you secretly hate each other!
 
2013-04-14 02:20:12 PM  
1. Facebook sucks, and any of you who continue using it have no right to complain, because it sucks and therefore you add to the suck by supporting it.

2. Google makes it a real biatch to set up an account as a couple. They want a single real name attached to each account, and when it's two (or more) people you have to fight their system to make a family account.

3. There's nothing wrong with wanting to use that social media crap to allow people who  insist on using it to contact  both people at once. If anyone on Facebook has anything to say to me, they can say it to my girl, too. I have nothing to hide from her, and she is the one most likely to get in contact with me if I miss the message.

4. That said, I don't use Facebook*, but I can see why people would want a "joint account" or a "family account".  When you're partnered up, and you're HAPPY in your partnership or family arrangement, you embrace the idea that you're a team. If you have to maintain separate accounts so that you have separate friends and conversations, then you're hiding things from your partner, even if it is mundane crap. If you don't share everything with your partner, then why are you partnered up in the first place? What's the point if you aren't going to experience life together and trust each other? I already divorced someone who was big on secrets, separateness and subterfuge. Never again.

*I maintain an account under a pseudonym, but only to enter contests that obnoxiously require Facebook to enter them; A practice I'd love to see abolished.

5. My choice to use a numbered list this time seems to have been a poor one, but never let it be said that I don't follow through.

6. Swiss cheese is better with beef than with chicken.

7. I could go for a cheeseburger right now.

8. Facebook and Twitter are representative of the worst problems with our society today. Social media is killing our ability to be intelligent, thoughtful, kind, considerate, tactful, loyal, or private. With some of you assholes, every action needs to be posted and tweeted and relayed to your entire network, and I hate you for it, because I don't give a damn about the minutiae of your life, or the lives of the other few billion people on Facebook or Twitter, and I REALLY don't think Facebook is the right place to share my family's activities and minor details with friends, extended family members, and acquaintances (as well as complete strangers). If I want my friends and extended family to know what's up with the ZC family, I'll email them, or call them, or let them know in person. I'll send a snail-mail letter before I'll post on Facebook.

9. Whenver I see articles that use Facebook as their commenting system, I'm guaranteed to see some of the  dumbest, most uninformed opinions outside of YouTube. That's a fact. And it makes me consider this: Do I really want to be among those assholes? Facebook is to conversation as Walmart is to mom & pop stores.

10. I just wanted to reach number ten because it felt like the right thing to do. Congratulations for getting this far. We should throw a party. With hookers. And blackjack.
 
2013-04-14 02:23:10 PM  
If we shared an account, how would I make fun of his Magic: The Gathering posts without appearing schizophrenic?
 
2013-04-14 02:26:05 PM  
Back when I first got started with the Internet I had a joint email with my (now ex) husband. To be honest, it never occurred to me to do it any other way. We had one phone number and one physical address, so one email also made sense.

But that was almost 20 years ago. Anyone doing that these days is just trying to show off. The fact that they think having a spouse is showing off tells you a lot about their sanity.
 
2013-04-14 02:30:00 PM  
As a terminally single man, that's how I see couples anyway. When everything you say or do with one is going to be reported to the other, there's no point in seeing them as individuals anymore.
 
2013-04-14 02:38:31 PM  

ZombiesYall: To me people with joint accounts come off as really possessive. When I am friends with one spouse and hardly know the other, it makes me a little uncomfortable because I never know who is commenting. Also,it just makes them seem like they think their partner is so hot and everyone wants to take them away. Sorry, no. If you can't trust your partner to have their own friends, even online, you need to get off my internets.


It has nothing to do with possessiveness. It has to do with trust and sharing. There's nothing you need to say to me that you can't say to her, too. She's my partner in everything. I trust her more than I do any other person in the world, and so your stupid little Facebook messages simply do not trump my bond with my partner.

And yes, we are very much a "we" couple. I know people who haven't experienced true love can't even grasp this (Hell, I couldn't until I found her, and I had a lot of relationships) but when you find the one, they really are a part of you. The two of you together make a whole, complete, better whole than the halves you were before you found each other. Individuality isn't lost, but it sure is nice having someone whom you trust and love completely, to the point of feeling that you are both extensions of each other.

Like I said, it's hard to explain it in any way that anyone who doesn't experience would find at all believable, but it is what it is. We are a team. We are better because of it. Anything I say, she can hear. Anything said to me can also be said to her.

If you're closer to your friends than your wife, then you're not in love. If your friends have things that can only be said to you, then you're not in love. If you can't trust your partner with every single tiny detail of your existence, then they aren't the person you were meant to be with. That doesn't mean you HAVE TO share every detail, but that you take no measures to keep secrets or lead a double-life.

If your friends, once married, don't become "our friends", then eventually you will have problems when the friends f♥ck up your marriage. Anybody who needs to have access to you exclusively without your partner as part of the package is a selfish, jealous twat. Your partner should be your very best friend in the most honest, true way possible. Not the stupid lip-service way most people say it in, but in a genuine way: They should be the one you want to hang out with before  anybody else.
 
2013-04-14 02:42:37 PM  

sorebones: As a terminally single man, that's how I see couples anyway. When everything you say or do with one is going to be reported to the other, there's no point in seeing them as individuals anymore.


I kinda feel sorry for you. Sounds lonely.
 
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