If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NBC Chicago)   Man gets seven years in prison for briefly abducting the President   (nbcchicago.com) divider line 41
    More: Dumbass, President Obama, Henrico County, teleprompters, audio equipment, Stafford County, Alex Gibney, state property, habitual offender  
•       •       •

9796 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Apr 2013 at 12:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-04-12 12:04:48 PM
Yet I got away with stealing a Vox Amp from Buffalo Springfield back in 1967. There is no justice in the world.
 
2013-04-12 12:06:43 PM
Props the the RVA for showing ourselves in such a positive light. Again.
 
2013-04-12 12:08:33 PM
This is like when Ursula stole Ariel's voice.
 
2013-04-12 12:08:50 PM
clothesonfilm.com
Approves.
 
2013-04-12 12:10:55 PM
I hope they retrain him in arson, or buggery, or politics or something, because he sucks at theft. Leave it to the pros noob.
 
2013-04-12 12:11:37 PM

Wangiss: [clothesonfilm.com image 800x368]
Approves.


Beat me to it! Well done.
 
2013-04-12 12:12:03 PM

nirwana: Yet I got away with stealing a Vox Amp from Buffalo Springfield back in 1967. There is no justice in the world.


Something's happening here. What it is ain't exactly... HEY! WHO STOLE OUR AMPS?
 
2013-04-12 12:12:15 PM
"If I had to sum up Mr. Brown's character, it would be that he's a thief."

Judge Ric Romero, ladies and gentlemen.
 
2013-04-12 12:15:37 PM
The comments to that article are a great argument for involuntary sterilization.
 
2013-04-12 12:18:42 PM
Dear idiots.  Stop stealing.  Crime keeps you poor and the retirement program sucks.
 
2013-04-12 12:20:51 PM
so, can someone explain to me why these farktards are so butthurt that Obama uses a teleprompter?  is there a rational explanation?  I never quite understood this.
 
2013-04-12 12:21:14 PM
Well, a teleprompter-less Obama is a threat to national security.
 
2013-04-12 12:22:59 PM

ManateeGag: so, can someone explain to me why these farktards are so butthurt that Obama uses a teleprompter?  is there a rational explanation?  I never quite understood this.


Because only 3" / 5" index cards are presidential.
 
2013-04-12 12:26:37 PM
i266.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-12 12:28:39 PM

ManateeGag: so, can someone explain to me why these farktards are so butthurt that Obama uses a teleprompter?  is there a rational explanation?  I never quite understood this.


I think it's great when he goes off prompter. He says some entertaining shiat that fires of both sides of the aisle.
 
2013-04-12 12:28:40 PM

ManateeGag: so, can someone explain to me why these farktards are so butthurt that Obama uses a teleprompter?  is there a rational explanation?  I never quite understood this.


(IMHO) One of the highest praises Obama receives that is difficult to refute is for his excellent public speaking abilities. That being said, people who dislike him resort to just scoffing at the fact that he uses a teleprompter (which isn't really that unusual).
 
2013-04-12 12:31:23 PM
www.indecisionforever.com
Dis economy is about aboot the... timex, donchaknow? And we got ta keep at it until the businesses is back to... 10 carat gold, eh?
 
2013-04-12 12:32:32 PM

ManateeGag: so, can someone explain to me why these farktards are so butthurt that Obama uses a teleprompter?  is there a rational explanation?  I never quite understood this.


Because only WHITE presidents are supposed to use teleprompters, duh. They had no problem with Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Clinton, and the two Bushes using the devices.
 
2013-04-12 12:35:15 PM

Lorelle: ManateeGag: so, can someone explain to me why these farktards are so butthurt that Obama uses a teleprompter?  is there a rational explanation?  I never quite understood this.

Because only WHITE presidents are supposed to use teleprompters, duh. They had no problem with Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Clinton, and the two Bushes using the devices.


This is what the left believes. All conservatives are racists.
 
2013-04-12 12:38:00 PM

nirwana: Yet I got away with stealing a Vox Amp from Buffalo Springfield back in 1967. There is no justice in the world.


Is this a quote or a reference I'm not getting? It's just oddball enough to be true, but if you made it up, kudos. Perfectly random, yet believable.
 
2013-04-12 12:39:29 PM
"The theft of government property is a serious offense," Assistant U.S. Attorney Roderick Young said in court. "It's all the more serious when the property belongs to the White House Communications Agency."

Because their shiat is more important than your shiat.
 
2013-04-12 12:42:08 PM

jimmythefly: nirwana: Yet I got away with stealing a Vox Amp from Buffalo Springfield back in 1967. There is no justice in the world.

Is this a quote or a reference I'm not getting? It's just oddball enough to be true, but if you made it up, kudos. Perfectly random, yet believable.


"Perfectly random, yet believable" sounds like a working definition of reality to me.
 
2013-04-12 12:44:05 PM

dabbletech: "The theft of government property is a serious offense," Assistant U.S. Attorney Roderick Young said in court. "It's all the more serious when the property belongs to the White House Communications Agency."

Because their shiat is more important than your shiat.


Theoretically, you are stealing A LOT of people's shiat when you steal government property, considering those items were paid for using our collective tax dollars.
 
2013-04-12 12:47:27 PM

jimmythefly: nirwana: Yet I got away with stealing a Vox Amp from Buffalo Springfield back in 1967. There is no justice in the world.

Is this a quote or a reference I'm not getting? It's just oddball enough to be true, but if you made it up, kudos. Perfectly random, yet believable.


Just a weird thing that popped into my head. When I was a kid, there was a guy in my town who would buy cheap amps at the pawn shops, stencil Buffalo Springfield on them, and then try to sell them as stolen merchandise.
 
2013-04-12 12:47:35 PM

studs up: This is what the left believes. All conservatives are racists.


No. Not all conservatives are racists, but all racists tend to be conservative.
 
2013-04-12 01:02:50 PM

Lorelle: studs up: This is what the left believes. All conservatives are racists.

No. Not all conservatives are racists, but all racists tend to be conservative.


Haven't spent much time in the South, I guess.
 
2013-04-12 01:03:14 PM

ManateeGag: so, can someone explain to me why these farktards are so butthurt that Obama uses a teleprompter?  is there a rational explanation?  I never quite understood this.


Partisan zeal is so strong among the farktards that they immediately forget everything from the previous administration (assuming it was of their party). They blame everything the incumbent does (if he is of a different party) and rationalize or defend everything he does (if he is of the same party).

This is double think, as George Orwell called it, and combined with double speak, it's object is to remove any need for thought and even the possibility of dissenting or unsanctioned thoughts.

A later thinker called it "truthiness", reviving a word that already existed with a slightly new meaning.

In other words, if our side does it, it must be right. If the other side does it, it is a heinous and unprecedented crime.

The use of the teleprompter for Presidential speeches dates all the way back to Richard M. Nixon, as Orwellian a double-speaker and double-thinker as a reasonable person could ask for. It is the result of the creation of a bureaucracy to write speeches for politicians, to focus-group, to market and to manipulate.

Communication to the masses inevitably becomes mass communication when science and technology come to bear upon public discourse.

Marshall McLuen, a reactionary conservative Roman Catholic, pointed out (not without some satiric edge) that the medium was the message.

Another great thinker, a poet if you will, by the name of Philip K. Dick imagined a world in which the President was a simulacrum, a robot, programmed with speeches and folksiness by the real power structure. He wasn't just imagining things: that was the way politics had come to work in dictatorships and "liberal democracies" alike by the 1960s or even the 1950s, when Dick wrote his first paranoid novels that toy with the themes of illusion and reality.

Naturally, Obama neither uses the teleprompter more nor less than Bush did, and than all Presidents before him for at least 60 years have. He relies on it neither more nor less. His speeches are crafter by others neither more nor less.

Presidential speech writers include the whack-a-tune ID propagandist, Ben Stein, and the Canadian David Frum, who boasted that he crafted the phrase "Axis of Evil" but who is now the voice of reason crying in the Wilderness now that the Republican Party is sunk deep into full-fledged totalitarian madness.

Not only did George Bush only sound coherent when he had a teleprompter in front of him reading words crafted by others, but he was caught with some sort of black box on his back, riding him like Dick Cheney. It is believed by those who have not shot all the pictures of Bush wearing this mysterious rectangular object down the Memory Hole, that this was some sort of power pack that served the transmission of text to a device hidden in the President's ear-hole.

He went from an inarticulate brainless rube to an articulate, grammatical correct speechifier (modelled on The Great Communicator) so fast, that no one can seriously contend that he did it without electronic assistance.

But the farktards of the Right will deny the existence of the Moon when it suits their Masters, so you would be hard put to convince them with facts and logic, even if the photographs in question weren't sanitized from the White House website and elsewhere when the trick was discovered and exposed (admittedly with fuzzier photos than those I've seen since).

There's nothing new about partisan lunacy replacing truth in American or any politics. I have frequently quoted a passage by P.T. Barnum, the famous impresario and hoaxer, about partisan lunacy from his Humbugs of the World. Like the magicians of today, P.T. Barnum felt morally obliged to expose his own humbugs and to teach the consumer and the citizen about the humbugs of trade and politics, etc.

He wisely pointed out that in every Congress since the country was founded, the partisans of the Outs have howled jeremiades about the partisans and candidate of the Ins. They have predicted the Doom of America and Civilization continuously, or rather intermittently, from the beginning, so long as their man was out and the other guy was in.

And so it goes, and so it goes.

The Great Conspiracy of the Gnostics flows into the conspiracism of modern politics and men like Philip K. Dick and P.T. Barnum and George Orwell are hailed as prophets for telling us what we have known since the beginning of the world: the center of Fark production is everywhere, the circumference of Truth, nowhere.

You can fool some of the people ... that's enough to wreck the whole system.

The Koch Brothers (pronounced coke, not cock or kook) would not spend so much money and effort creating the Derp Party if they didn't need to protect trillions of dollars in future extraction industry profits from the Truth. And men like Warren Buffet, Bill Gates III, and George Soros would not fund the counter-attack if they didn't need to keep the playing field somewhat level for completely other purposes, also involving trillions of dollars in real or potential profits.

The partisans of the one group of oligarchs hate the partisans of all the others.

Koch dupes hate people like me because all we are saying is give breathing a chance by keeping the stinking coal in the ground ... FOREVER! Forget war and peace, the real money is in mass delusion.

Not that I am liable to get so much as one red cent either way. But I would like there to be tigers in a hundred years, for Alexandria, New Orleans, and Venice to exist in a thousand years, and for the human race to not have trashed the Earth in ten thousand. And a million years from now, I would like our descendants to evolve from a kind of missing link, fondly thinking it can think, into something that can really think.
 
2013-04-12 01:10:04 PM

Lorelle: studs up: This is what the left believes. All conservatives are racists.

No. Not all conservatives are racists, but all racists tend to be conservative.


Really? Have you seen how well Latinos and Black America are getting along. Pretty sure their numbers skew Democrat.  How about self loathing white professors at USC who have no problem deriding white culture, or, can't you be racists against whites?
Liberals, re-writing history every chance they get.
 
SH
2013-04-12 01:10:20 PM

studs up: This is what the left believes. All conservatives are racists.


Yup, that's pretty much true. They are racists.
 
2013-04-12 01:11:37 PM
Eric Brown of Richmond, Va., agreed to the longer sentence to avoid prosecution for 14 similar truck thefts in three localities.

I'm going out on a limb here by guessing that security is slightly higher around the President's trucks than Mr. Brown was accustomed to.

ManateeGag: so, can someone explain to me why these farktards are so butthurt that Obama uses a teleprompter?  is there a rational explanation?  I never quite understood this.


I can explain this. It is what is scientifically termed a 'conditioned response'. Just as Pavlov conditioned dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell, these people have been conditioned to respond to any mention of President Obama and teleprompters with derision. There is no thought or reasoning taking place between the delivery of the stimuli and the response.
When people watch television they enter into a very passive, receptive, state - EEG monitoring shows increased Alpha waves - and while in this receptive state the television viewers become conditioned through repeated exposure. Some people are more vulnerable to this kind of conditioning, and those are the folks you refer to as farktards in your question.
 
2013-04-12 01:12:11 PM
Here's another example of double think.

Ronald and Nancy Reagan lived like Hollywood Superstars in the White House. Nancy wore (for free) gowns that cost as much as those worn at the Oscars, and consulted her astrologer and hairdresser to run the country while her husband went bo-boo-bee-bah like Monsieur Jordan. She spent a year's income for an upper middle class big city Yuppie on new dishes when the White House already has several gigantic sets of tableware from previous presidencies. She traveled in style and spent like a Queen or possibly even Mrs. Gorbachev.

But that is all forgotten by Republicans. They are so outraged by Michelle Obama's modest expenses that they have pushed all the complaints from Bush Haters infected with Bush Syndrome out of their heads. They never really believed any of those nasty facts and arguments in the first place, so why should they retain them?

Also, when it costs a few million for the President to go on tour, they forget that Bush travelled with a number of jets, helicopters, heavily armored limousines, armored cars, and with 3,000 support staff and an equal or greater number of junket press members, many of them travelling on the public dime.

You can still find graphic representations of this Imperial Panoply on the web. The web is like the Bourbons, it learns nothing and it forgets nothing.

The Queen of England travels with a staff of eight. Her ladies-in-waiting do double service as personal assistants and body-guards. She has a lady's special in her purse, or, if this is not so, she has some nearby, like the mafia don who said he never carries a gun but likes to have them nearby.

Eight staff-the world's best known sovereign. Six thousand (a literal army), the world's most expensive Presidency.

Regardless of who is in office or what the economy is doing, being the Imperial President costs money.
 
2013-04-12 01:15:00 PM

studs up: Lorelle: studs up: This is what the left believes. All conservatives are racists.

No. Not all conservatives are racists, but all racists tend to be conservative.

Really? Have you seen how well Latinos and Black America are getting along. Pretty sure their numbers skew Democrat.  How about self loathing white professors at USC who have no problem deriding white culture, or, can't you be racists against whites?
Liberals, re-writing history every chance they get.


Derp, derp, derp.  Can you read?? I wrote, TEND TO BE.

So any white professor who correctly calls Republicans "stupid" is "self-loathing" and "deriding white culture." Thanks for proving that the dude is right.
 
2013-04-12 01:16:31 PM

SH: studs up: This is what the left believes. All conservatives are racists.

Yup, that's pretty much true. They are racists.


I'm sure you got an "A" in poli-sci.
 
2013-04-12 01:16:55 PM
Obama Derangement Syndrome is just a new strain of the disease formerly known as Bush Derangement Syndrome. For some reason, these opportunistic mind diseases only infect people when they are on the Outs. Then again, it's hard to get Tuberculosis if you are rich and well fed. Too much acid in the stomach or too much partisan bile may be to blame.

Consider this my correction for "Bush Syndrome" above.
 
2013-04-12 01:22:54 PM

Lorelle: studs up: Lorelle: studs up: This is what the left believes. All conservatives are racists.

No. Not all conservatives are racists, but all racists tend to be conservative.

Really? Have you seen how well Latinos and Black America are getting along. Pretty sure their numbers skew Democrat.  How about self loathing white professors at USC who have no problem deriding white culture, or, can't you be racists against whites?
Liberals, re-writing history every chance they get.

Derp, derp, derp.  Can you read?? I wrote, TEND TO BE.

So any white professor who correctly calls Republicans "stupid" is "self-loathing" and "deriding white culture." Thanks for proving that the dude is right.


Yep, this is what liberals believe.
 
2013-04-12 01:58:40 PM

Lorelle: studs up: This is what the left believes. All conservatives are racists.

No. Not all conservatives are racists, but all racists tend to be conservative.


To me, a racist is someone who separates people by race, and judges them because of that race. To me, that has been a plank in the liberal platform for several decades now.

When a person can be called a racist because he quotes Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."  simpy because they feel the sentence means exactly what it says as conservatives have been, well, I think we know where to find the true racists. And it isn't in the conservative tent.

As for the teleprompter, yes, all presidents use them. HOWEVER, none have been as eloquent with one and as incompetent a speaker without one as has Obama. He was hailed by his accolytes as the greatest orator ever, yet without it he would seem to have trouble saying his own name.

GWB was ineloquent (at best) whether he had one or not, Clinton was smooth whether he had one or not, Bush the 1st was dull no matter what, and Reagan was charming whether he had one or not. Only Obama over the past 30+ years has been so on/off depending on his teleprompter or not.
 
2013-04-12 02:20:43 PM
Thought this would be the pizza shop owner who tried to haul Obama away.
 
2013-04-12 02:45:49 PM

garandman1a: To me, a racist is someone who separates people by race, and judges them because of that race. To me, that has been a plank in the

conservative platform for several decades now.

When a person can be called a racist because he quotes Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."  simpy because they feel the sentence means exactly what it says as conservatives have been, well, I think we know where to find the true racists. And
it's in the conservative tent.

FTFY.

Excerpts from just one article listing examples of Republican racism in the past year:

Daily Kos - 8/10/12:

Take, for instance, Inge Marler, the Arkansas Tea Party agitator wholed off a rally with a racist joke that implicated both poverty stereotypes and linguistic racial mocking.

The joke:

"A black kid asks his mom, 'Mama, what's a democracy?'

"'Well, son, that be when white folks work every day so us po' folks can get all our benefits.'

"'But mama, don't the white folk get mad about that?'

"'They sho do, son. They sho do. And that's called racism.'"

How about the Virginia Beach Republican [David Bartholomew, Chairman of the Virginia Beach Republican Party]  who was forced to resign after he forwarded a "joke" about trying to obtain welfare for a dog that is "black, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and has no frigging clue who his daddy is."

That makes no mention of Marilyn Davenport
[Southern California Tea Party activist and member of the central committee of the Orange County Republican Party],the racist Orange County Republican who circulated an email depicting Barack Obama's parents as chimpanzees.

The conservative racism is not simply limited to obscure agitators and low-level politicians. Consider Richard Cebull, Montana's chief federal judge, who sent out a joke  that implied Barack Obama's dead mother had sex with dogs. The Cebull joke was prefaced with a disturbing message from the judge, as he wrote to friends:

"Normally I don't send or forward a lot of these, but even by my standards, it was a bit touching. I want all of my friends to feel what I felt when I read this. Hope it touches your heart like it did mine. "

Cebull went on to explain that even though he does racist things like send out racist emails to presumably racist friends, he is, in no way, shape, or form a racist.

Who can forget Rick Santorum, who, despite his later claims to the contrary, can be clearly seen telling his Iowa supporters that
 he didn't "want to make black people's lives better by giving them other people's money."

Or the worst offender of all, Newt Gingrich, who famously and repeatedly calls Barack Obama the "food stamp president." Gingrich has doubled down on his racism, asserting a desire to talk to the NAACP about food stamps because, you know, they would be more concerned about those things than other groups.


Cut the crap, dude, and take off your blinders. The rest of us have no trouble seeing conservatives for what they REALLY are.

* * * * * * *

As for the teleprompter, yes, all presidents use them. HOWEVER, none have been as eloquent with one and as incompetent a speaker without one as has Obama. He was hailed by his accolytes as the greatest orator ever, yet without it he would seem to have trouble saying his own name.

GWB was ineloquent (at best) whether he had one or not, Clinton was smooth whether he had one or not, Bush the 1st was dull no matter what, and Reagan was charming whether he had one or not. Only Obama over the past 30+ years has been so on/off depending on his teleprompter or not.


Obama hasn't used a teleprompter for 30+ years and has made numerous eloquent speeches without using one. You merely choose not to acknowledge it.
 
2013-04-12 03:10:07 PM

Lorelle: Cut the crap, dude, and take off your blinders. The rest of us have no trouble seeing conservatives for what they REALLY are.


Not everyone has the advantage of your "enlightened" bigotry.  Some people are barely able to scrape by on plain old "common sense" bigotry.

Cut them some slack, would you?
 
2013-04-12 04:42:45 PM
I'm not an R or a D, but it's so silly to me to see Ds calling Rs racist.  Did they forget how many Ds the Rs had to kill to free the slaves from them?  There are racists on both sides, which are both bad, so don't vote for them.
 
2013-04-12 07:28:21 PM

Wangiss: I'm not an R or a D, but it's so silly to me to see Ds calling Rs racist.  Did they forget how many Ds the Rs had to kill to free the slaves from them?  There are racists on both sides, which are both bad, so don't vote for them.


How does time work in your universe? Are you seriously equating today's Republican party with the Republican party of 1865? I guess we now know what Rand Paul's Fark handle is.
 
Displayed 41 of 41 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report