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(Topless Robot)   Ten GI Joes who will never appear on the big screen. Really? Tomax and Xamot are too campy for a theatrical release?   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 65
    More: Fail, G.I. Joe, Tomax, movies, Cobra Commander, theatrical release, Paul Wernick, knee-high boots, Christopher Eccleston  
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5285 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Apr 2013 at 11:25 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-12 02:56:51 PM  

SithLord: grimlock1972: I have to disagree on Tomax and Xamot i think they would work fine in the next Gi Joe movie.  The others not so much.

Tomax and Xamot would work well given the current economical and sociopolitical climate.  Bankers bringing down a financial collapse worldwide - it was the twins acting in behalf of Cobra.

They wore business suits in the cartoon and comics, but this author didn't seem to notice or bother reading their file cards where the above scenario is described..


Indeed.
 
2013-04-12 03:22:25 PM  

Relatively Obscure: [www.timlybarger.com image 550x724]


Neil DeGrasse Tyson is a Joe?
 
2013-04-12 03:32:30 PM  

SithLord: Dr Dreidel: PizzaJedi81: Garko: They should put Bazooka in the next movie, just to spite this shiatty list.

Bazooka, Gung-Ho and the Dreadnoks (I don't see why a motorcycle gang couldn't work.) are all doable.

There's a much, MUCH longer list of characters that won't work.

Airtight (Snert)
Spirit
Crystal Ball (Designed by Stephen King's son!)
Psych-Out
Fast Draw (Anybody else always losing bits to him?)
Budo
Shockwave
Super Trooper (Loved when I'd saved up enough Joe Points to get him!)
HEAT Viper
TARGAT
Darklon
Metal Head
Captain Grid-Iron
Snow Serpent
The Eco-Warriors line, although that one MIGHT be topical.
Barricade

The list goes on. http://www.yojoe.com/action/

Nemesis Enforcer and Golobulus better be on that list

I don't get the Cobra-La hate.  The one thing I find implausible was that there was this vast army of citizen warriors who at the beck and call of their king could unleash hell upon the rest of the world using biomechanical weapons that even regenerated when damaged and yet they stayed in a nigh unforgiving, undiscovered wasteland deep in the Himalayas.

Too bad the cartoon movie had to be rated G, I could picture Nemesis Enforcer unleashing some serious shiznit with his blades.


i67.photobucket.com
COOOBRAAAA- LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!
 
2013-04-12 04:16:11 PM  

SithLord: grimlock1972: I have to disagree on Tomax and Xamot i think they would work fine in the next Gi Joe movie.  The others not so much.

Tomax and Xamot would work well given the current economical and sociopolitical climate.  Bankers bringing down a financial collapse worldwide - it was the twins acting in behalf of Cobra.

They wore business suits in the cartoon and comics, but this author didn't seem to notice or bother reading their file cards where the above scenario is described..


This. You could basically just portray them as a slightly more douchey and evil version of the Winklevoss twins. Hell, they already are practically bankers with their big Bitcoin investment.
 
2013-04-12 05:00:08 PM  

SithLord: Too bad the cartoon movie had to be rated G...


G.I. Joe: Resolute
 
2013-04-12 05:10:03 PM  
Tom Hardy as Gung-Ho

Target audience is not gonna be too comfortable with that.
 
2013-04-12 06:54:25 PM  
Sci-Fi better'd watch the fark out if Sgt. Slaughter decides to launch that missile.

www.toplessrobot.com
 
2013-04-12 07:09:19 PM  

hamiltonjdavid: Sci-Fi better'd watch the fark out if Sgt. Slaughter decides to launch that missile.


come on, the box art for every single toy showed somebody about to get vaporized by rocket exhaust.
 
2013-04-12 07:58:07 PM  
The GI Joes who won't get in the movies are the ones that look like The Village People.


www.filmjunk.com

1.bp.blogspot.com

newsmanone.files.wordpress.com
static1.purepeople.com
 
2013-04-12 08:06:03 PM  
Considering none of the Joes seen in both of the two theatrical releases look anything like their counterparts from the 1980's, I think it's premature to rule ANYONE out of a sequel.

Funny how the arguments made for Gung Ho could've easily be made for Roadblock pre-Retaliation.  Big guy, shirtless, able to comically take on 10 opponents at once.  Plus they would've tossed in his rhyming cadence in the cartoon.
 
2013-04-12 08:55:22 PM  
This is a bad list, and he should feel bad for making it.
 
2013-04-12 09:58:59 PM  

Pants_Optional: Airtight was the bio-chem weapons expert.  Would work fine.  Snow Serpents were arctic troopers.  They would also work.  The rest of that list?  Yeah, I'm with you.


The Dreadnoks look just like stereotypical gangmembers...from the 80s. Leaving aside Zartan's brother, they could translate almost exactly. Maybe not Road Pig.

And Cross Country gets dinged for having a Confederate Flag belt buckle? Would that change everything if he WASN'T wearing it? Granted, he's also wearing a Johnny Reb hat. And his outfit is all that puffy shiat that was popular in the 80s. Well anyway, it's a peculiar argument though. Was it really true they went with a stupid looking mask for Cobra Commander because the hood made him look too much like a KKK member? What, were they worried the Klan would sue for libel?
 
2013-04-12 11:23:57 PM  
Cobra Commander is a woman. Deny this fact.
 
2013-04-13 12:36:56 AM  
 
2013-04-13 09:01:24 AM  
I always liked the Alley Vipers...and I agree with TFA...the colors would look awesome on screen.
 
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