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(Yonhap News (Korea))   BK launch day 3: Lil Kim announces Japan must be attacked because it deployed a missile defense system. Though to be fair, he accidentally ated his logic textbook before reading it   (english.yonhapnews.co.kr) divider line 179
    More: Followup, Lil Kim, Japan, missile defense systems, North Koreans  
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6937 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Apr 2013 at 8:26 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-12 09:00:34 AM  
I heard a guy on NPR suggest that he'll wait until the joint US/SK military exercise is over, then declare a glorious victory.  Seemed more plausible than anything else I've heard.

/still kinda wish somebody would biatch-slap him
 
2013-04-12 09:00:50 AM  

I_C_Weener: You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too


That's like telling someone they are getting a free colonoscopy
 
2013-04-12 09:02:13 AM  
I haven't been following, have our favorite animators in Taiwain made any good videos about Dear Eater in the last couple weeks?
 
2013-04-12 09:02:18 AM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: I get it now, he's upset about KFC's move to boneless original recipe, he prefers the bones because of the flavor and extra grissel


I think he's had sand up his vagina ever since BK discontinued their chicken fries.
 
2013-04-12 09:02:21 AM  

SoupJohnB: I heard a guy on NPR suggest that he'll wait until the joint US/SK military exercise is over, then declare a glorious victory.  Seemed more plausible than anything else I've heard.

/still kinda wish somebody would biatch-slap him


But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.
 
2013-04-12 09:03:29 AM  

Mad_Radhu: MyKingdomForYourHorse: I get it now, he's upset about KFC's move to boneless original recipe, he prefers the bones because of the flavor and extra grissel

I think he's had sand up his vagina ever since BK discontinued their chicken fries.


And Wendys changed their fries, he thinks they totally suck now that he can't dip them in his frosty like he used to
 
2013-04-12 09:03:33 AM  
If it came to nuclear war, it'd probably be easier for the Norks to make a big song and dance about their missiles while some innocuous Japanese registered fishing boat that nobody cares about goes straight up the river of one of their cities and detonates it. Of course they'd have to be out of their farking minds to do this since it would lead to swift annihilation but still.
 
2013-04-12 09:06:00 AM  

Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.


That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?
 
2013-04-12 09:07:02 AM  

drxym: If it came to nuclear war, it'd probably be easier for the Norks to make a big song and dance about their missiles while some innocuous Japanese registered fishing boat that nobody cares about goes straight up the river of one of their cities and detonates it. Of course they'd have to be out of their farking minds to do this since it would lead to swift annihilation but still.


Indeed.  Nukes might be the one thing that the Japanese take more seriously than earthquakes and tidal waves.
 
2013-04-12 09:07:48 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: Point02GPA:

A B29 could do it.  Does Un have one of those?

It would be killer if he named it after his mother.

Didn't Un spring miraculously from his father's loins?  A Virgin Birth?


Somebody in that dynasty was supposedly born over a burning mountain. A forewarning?
 
2013-04-12 09:08:01 AM  
I lived in Japan when Jong Il was runnin things. They'd prep to launch a missile, we would send out the Observation Island (missile telemetry ship) and show off some destroyers and a carrier, then the missile would break up 30 seconds after launch.
 
2013-04-12 09:08:04 AM  
What does
oi48.tinypic.com


have to do with Best Korea?
 
2013-04-12 09:08:23 AM  

fireclown: Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.

That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?


Is it fueled?
 
2013-04-12 09:09:01 AM  

awalkingecho: Lexx: Oh, fatty's birthday is coming up?  That explains everything.  No, really, it does.  What better way to celebrate NEW GLORIOUS LEADER's ascension than by making the world collectively shiat its pants as a birthday present.

No, it's his grandfather's birthday.


Eh, still a birthday present.
 
2013-04-12 09:09:36 AM  

Charlie Freak: Is it fueled?


Yeah they fueled it Wednesday. Or made a show of doing so. Then lowered it. Then raised it again yesterday.
 
2013-04-12 09:10:35 AM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: I_C_Weener: You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too

That's like telling someone they are getting a free colonoscopy


Same advice, too: "Just grit your teeth through the pain".
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-04-12 09:10:35 AM  

fireclown: Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.

That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?


It's  oxidiser is nitric acid, which is corrosive.
 
2013-04-12 09:11:33 AM  
I would think he's gonna have to do something now. He's made so many threats he won't want to look like a fool. Though it's too late for that.
 
2013-04-12 09:11:48 AM  

aevorea: MyKingdomForYourHorse: I_C_Weener: You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too

That's like telling someone they are getting a free colonoscopy

Same advice, too: "Just grit your teeth through the pain".


(Freakin' mobile phone cut off message)

Same advice, too: "Just grit your teeth through the pain".

/Former TFkette
 
2013-04-12 09:12:13 AM  

Lexx: Oh, fatty's birthday is coming up?  That explains everything.  No, really, it does.  What better way to celebrate NEW GLORIOUS LEADER's ascension than by making the world collectively shiat its pants as a birthday present.


Not fatty's, fatty's granddaddy... and being the founder of the country, that's like 4th of July for them. So, let's shoot off fireworksmissiles!
 
2013-04-12 09:13:38 AM  
All this talk about nuclear attack, all that is going to happen is that South Korea and Japan are going to want nuclear arms too right in China's back yard. I wonder how China likes their little puppet country now. Sure, China loves the death camps and the slave labor and the black market trade with the starving people who will pay top yuan, but having two nuclear armed states right on their border, plus a very good excuse for stationing US troops in the region, how is that working out for them?
 
2013-04-12 09:14:03 AM  
This is all very funny until he actually launches a crude ICBM and Japan's ABM assets have a bad day and part of Tokyo is missing.

/I fully expect this same scenario to play out in the Middle East involving Iran and Israel in a couple of years.
 
2013-04-12 09:16:33 AM  

KarmicDisaster: Japan are going to want nuclear arms too


Not very likely. It's against public policy and would be quite unfavorable. At least while there's still Hibakusha alive, it's not happening.
 
2013-04-12 09:18:08 AM  

socodog: Nobody's talking about the dirty bomb already set up for him to light the fuse. I'm talking about that big, juicy stack of depleted fuel rods at Fukushima. Nail that area with several conventional rockets and the pools rupture, the stacks fall to the ground, and then they catch on fire. There's enough there to put us back to the bronze age, according to some nuclear physicists.


It'd be like a Michael Bay movie, where one little bullet sets off a huge explosion that engulfs the plant and triggers all sorts of down-stream catastrophes.

I was thinking about panicking, but then I thought of driving around in a convertible made entirely of bronze. That would be pretty cool.
 
2013-04-12 09:18:41 AM  

awalkingecho: KarmicDisaster: Japan are going to want nuclear arms too

Not very likely. It's against public policy and would be quite unfavorable. At least while there's still Hibakusha alive, it's not happening.


Probably not Japan, but supposedly 70% of Koreans polled favor having their own weapons now. If it came to a vote, they would do it.
 
2013-04-12 09:19:05 AM  
I WILL ATTACK YOU FOR TAKING MEASURES TO PROTECT YOURSELVES FROM WHEN I ATTACK YOU!

o.onionstatic.com

Yeah. Please do it, FattyDingDongs. The sooner we erase you, the happier the world will be.

/Is the world really going to put up with several decades of this fatf*ck and his stupid sh*t?
 
2013-04-12 09:20:21 AM  

aevorea: MyKingdomForYourHorse: I_C_Weener: You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too

That's like telling someone they are getting a free colonoscopy

Same advice, too: "Just grit your teeth through the pain".


aevorea: MyKingdomForYourHorse: I_C_Weener: You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too

That's like telling someone they are getting a free colonoscopy

Same advice, too: "Just grit your teeth through the pain".


I first read that as "colectomy", but that's the one-year subscription.
 
2013-04-12 09:20:42 AM  

theknuckler_33: Lexx: Oh, fatty's birthday is coming up?  That explains everything.  No, really, it does.  What better way to celebrate NEW GLORIOUS LEADER's ascension than by making the world collectively shiat its pants as a birthday present.

Not fatty's, fatty's granddaddy... and being the founder of the country, that's like 4th of July for them. So, let's shoot off fireworksmissiles!


4th of July, Christmas, Easter, Yom Kippur, Ramadan, and Steak & BJ Day all wrapped up in one.
 
2013-04-12 09:20:54 AM  
Exclusive transcript of Kim Jong-Un's latest speech:

i261.photobucket.com

"One time I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I would just sit there with my mind a complete blank while the monkey scribbled on little pieces of paper.

At the end of the week the teacher said, "Class, I want you to write a paper using your notes."

So I wrote a paper that said "Hello, my name is Bingo. I like to climb on things. Can I have a banana? Eek eek!" I got an F.

When I told my Mom about it she said "I told you never trust a monkey!" The end."

/you're welcome, Brak fans.
 
2013-04-12 09:21:22 AM  

KarmicDisaster: All this talk about nuclear attack, all that is going to happen is that South Korea and Japan are going to want nuclear arms too right in China's back yard. I wonder how China likes their little puppet country now. Sure, China loves the death camps and the slave labor and the black market trade with the starving people who will pay top yuan, but having two nuclear armed states right on their border, plus a very good excuse for stationing US troops in the region, how is that working out for them?


3 more nuclear border states; Russia, India, and Pakistan?
 
2013-04-12 09:21:50 AM  

MrBallou: I first read that as "colectomy", but that's the one-year subscription.


I first read that as 'colecovision' and I always thought that would be the lifetime subscription.
 
2013-04-12 09:22:11 AM  

Klivian: The Googles Do Nothing: awalkingecho: stevarooni: funktilious_j: only way they are hitting Japan with a nuke is if they put it on a boat and drive it onshore. But the boat will probably sink halfway there.

Pentagon's saying that they actually might have nuclear ICBM capabilities (TwinCities.com).  Accuracy is, historically, a problem for 'em, but they might just have the technology to send such a missile.

You don't need an ICBM to hit Japan. At all.

A B29 could do it.  Does Un have one of those?

A B-29 mention, in connection to Korea? Dammit now I want to go home and watch the "Quo Vaids, Captain Chandler?" episode of M*A*S*H again.

/Bless you, Walter


I think given their track record, Five O' Clock Charlie might be more appropriate.
 
2013-04-12 09:22:23 AM  

Bhags: What does
[oi48.tinypic.com image 325x223]


have to do with Best Korea?


Both are mouthy biatches?
 
2013-04-12 09:22:43 AM  

Bhags: What does
[oi48.tinypic.com image 325x223]


have to do with Best Korea?


Subby is talking about Asian Bobby Hill
 
2013-04-12 09:22:52 AM  

generallyso: There's plenty of crazy in the world, do we have to obsess over NK for the next few months?


i492.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-12 09:23:10 AM  

Alonjar: Dont shoot down our missiles that we launch at you..... or we will launch missiles at you?

[4funz.com image 496x386]


Someone needs to counter this with Japan saying "If you shoot missiles at us for shooting down the missiles you shot at us, we will shoot them down."

See how long you can keep it going before Fatso collapses into a fetal position in the corner, drooling & sh*tting all over himself.
 
2013-04-12 09:23:31 AM  

MrBallou: I first read that as "colectomy", but that's the one-year subscription.


I'm pretty sure subjecting someone to that  is covered in the Geneva Convention and prosecutable at the the Hague
 
2013-04-12 09:23:57 AM  

tdyak: Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes should be required reading.  Doubly so for any leader in charge of nuclear weapons.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadako_and_the_Thousand_Paper_Cranes


I read that book in elementary school.  Here's the problem with your plan though:  Most normal people read that book and think about the very serious consequences of using nuclear weapons.  Kim Jong-Un would read it and think of it as an instruction manual.
 
2013-04-12 09:25:07 AM  
With the Chinese remake of Red Dawn coming out and the recent history of villainizing PRC and DRPK as the 'new Soviets' in media, it almost makes me wonder how much of the news we're getting is working alongside that propaganda to indoctrinate and garner support for an eventual war against that part of the world to clear our debt with Beijing the old fashioned way.
 
2013-04-12 09:26:30 AM  

awalkingecho: KarmicDisaster: Japan are going to want nuclear arms too

Not very likely. It's against public policy and would be quite unfavorable. At least while there's still Hibakusha alive, it's not happening.


Yeah, and we thought the Patriot Act and giving the president the power to declare war unilaterally was never going to happen.  And then 9/11.

All it takes is one miscalculation and Japan's world view changes.
 
2013-04-12 09:27:08 AM  

MrHappyRotter: This is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.


I'm waiting for the seven virgins and a mule...

/Keep it cool, keep it cool
//You've got to see the show!
 
2013-04-12 09:27:44 AM  

I_C_Weener: awalkingecho: KarmicDisaster: Japan are going to want nuclear arms too

Not very likely. It's against public policy and would be quite unfavorable. At least while there's still Hibakusha alive, it's not happening.

Yeah, and we thought the Patriot Act and giving the president the power to declare war unilaterally was never going to happen.  And then 9/11.

All it takes is one miscalculation and Japan's world view changes.


I don't think you realize how seriously they take the use of nuclear weapons. 

Also, their country isn't the pile of shiat that ours is by any stretch of the imagination.
 
2013-04-12 09:28:42 AM  

awalkingecho: With the Chinese remake of Red Dawn coming out and the recent history of villainizing PRC and DRPK as the 'new Soviets' in media, it almost makes me wonder how much of the news we're getting is working alongside that propaganda to indoctrinate and garner support for an eventual war against that part of the world to clear our debt with Beijing the old fashioned way.


Jesus, we're not going to fight China.  Why do people keep thinking that?  Both ourselves and China have VERY serious interests in remaining at peace with one another.

Oh, and if you think we could "clear our debt with Beijing," which amounts to 1.2 trillion dollars, for LESS than that amount, I encourage you to consider that the Iraq and Afghanistan wars have cost the USA ~1.4 trillion dollars.  Do you REALLY think we could defeat China at a lower cost than Iraq/Afghanistan?
 
2013-04-12 09:29:27 AM  

HMS_Blinkin: awalkingecho: With the Chinese remake of Red Dawn coming out and the recent history of villainizing PRC and DRPK as the 'new Soviets' in media, it almost makes me wonder how much of the news we're getting is working alongside that propaganda to indoctrinate and garner support for an eventual war against that part of the world to clear our debt with Beijing the old fashioned way.

Jesus, we're not going to fight China.  Why do people keep thinking that?  Both ourselves and China have VERY serious interests in remaining at peace with one another.

Oh, and if you think we could "clear our debt with Beijing," which amounts to 1.2 trillion dollars, for LESS than that amount, I encourage you to consider that the Iraq and Afghanistan wars have cost the USA ~1.4 trillion dollars.  Do you REALLY think we could defeat China at a lower cost than Iraq/Afghanistan?


You're not very good at sarcasm are you?
 
2013-04-12 09:30:06 AM  

awalkingecho: With the Chinese remake of Red Dawn coming out and the recent history of villainizing PRC and DRPK as the 'new Soviets' in media, it almost makes me wonder how much of the news we're getting is working alongside that propaganda to indoctrinate and garner support for an eventual war against that part of the world to clear our debt with Beijing the old fashioned way.


I am wondering if the "they don't have workable missiles" or the "omg they might have nuclear capable ICBMs" is the propaganda.

Pretty sure it is the latter.
 
2013-04-12 09:30:46 AM  

Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.


Sounds like my last Saturday night.
 
2013-04-12 09:31:29 AM  

HMS_Blinkin: tdyak: Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes should be required reading.  Doubly so for any leader in charge of nuclear weapons.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadako_and_the_Thousand_Paper_Cranes

I read that book in elementary school.  Here's the problem with your plan though:  Most normal people read that book and think about the very serious consequences of using nuclear weapons.  Kim Jong-Un would read it and think of it as an instruction manual.


Most normal people also look at that book through the lens of history and think "Wow, the use of nuclear weapons was terrible and something that I hope is never necessary again, but the alternative was worse. Two cities with primary industry for the war effort that Japan was undertaking compared with the genocide of the Japanese people and the deaths of a hundred thousand allied soldiers projected, it was two unthinkable options."

You're talking about an enemy that, for the most part, made the most fanatical modern Jihadist look like a pussy. These were women and children who would have gladly blown themselves up in the name of the emperor, their living God.
 
2013-04-12 09:31:44 AM  

fireclown: Indeed. Nukes might be the one thing that the Japanese take more seriously than earthquakes and tidal waves.


What about Godzilla? Where does Godzilla fit into the Japanese hierarchy of terror?
 
2013-04-12 09:32:35 AM  

fireclown: Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.

That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?


Not a missile nerd, I am a member of the 232 Chairborne Rangers.  I saw a couple of armchair generals, a living room strategist, and two Fark political policy experts earlier.  We're hoping to have this solved by the end of the day.  Is there something we can do to help?
 
2013-04-12 09:32:45 AM  

art_shamsky: fireclown: Indeed. Nukes might be the one thing that the Japanese take more seriously than earthquakes and tidal waves.

What about Godzilla? Where does Godzilla fit into the Japanese hierarchy of terror?


Pretty sure it's a bulletpoint under or reason beneath "Nukes"
 
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