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(Yonhap News (Korea))   BK launch day 3: Lil Kim announces Japan must be attacked because it deployed a missile defense system. Though to be fair, he accidentally ated his logic textbook before reading it   (english.yonhapnews.co.kr) divider line 179
    More: Followup, Lil Kim, Japan, missile defense systems, North Koreans  
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6945 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Apr 2013 at 8:26 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-12 08:28:30 AM  
ok now this is getting boring. hes just trying to show hes as crazy as his dad.

only a lil chunkier
 
2013-04-12 08:28:53 AM  
It's a well-known rule that it's two for flinching.
 
2013-04-12 08:29:18 AM  
yaaawwwwwwnnn.
 
2013-04-12 08:29:28 AM  
Little Un...if you've had it erect for more than 4 hours, you may want to see a doctor.

/you may want to see one anyway
 
2013-04-12 08:30:15 AM  
North Korea is so last week.
 
2013-04-12 08:30:23 AM  
dex3703.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-12 08:32:09 AM  
only way they are hitting Japan with a nuke is if they put it on a boat and drive it onshore. But the boat will probably sink halfway there.
 
2013-04-12 08:32:29 AM  
I get it now, he's upset about KFC's move to boneless original recipe, he prefers the bones because of the flavor and extra grissel
 
2013-04-12 08:32:38 AM  
Nobody's talking about the dirty bomb already set up for him to light the fuse. I'm talking about that big, juicy stack of depleted fuel rods at Fukushima. Nail that area with several conventional rockets and the pools rupture, the stacks fall to the ground, and then they catch on fire. There's enough there to put us back to the bronze age, according to some nuclear physicists.
 
2013-04-12 08:33:02 AM  
This is going full retard now

Japan! If you shoot down our missile that we are shooting at you, we will shoot missiles at you!

You look like completely toothless dipshiats, and you lost all your street cred with this bullshiat.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-12 08:36:46 AM  

funktilious_j: only way they are hitting Japan with a nuke is if they put it on a boat and drive it onshore. But the boat will probably sink halfway there.


Pentagon's saying that they actually might have nuclear ICBM capabilities (TwinCities.com).  Accuracy is, historically, a problem for 'em, but they might just have the technology to send such a missile.
 
2013-04-12 08:37:09 AM  
Can't we just send some delegates over ther to discuss this situation with him in person?

Gather up some volunteers from 4chan.

"I will wipe America off the map!"

"Doooooooeeeeeeeet!"
 
2013-04-12 08:37:20 AM  

socodog: There's enough there to put us back to the bronze age, according to some nuclear physicists.

 
2013-04-12 08:37:23 AM  

stevarooni: funktilious_j: only way they are hitting Japan with a nuke is if they put it on a boat and drive it onshore. But the boat will probably sink halfway there.

Pentagon's saying that they actually might have nuclear ICBM capabilities (TwinCities.com).  Accuracy is, historically, a problem for 'em, but they might just have the technology to send such a missile.


You don't need an ICBM to hit Japan. At all.
 
2013-04-12 08:37:41 AM  
Will someone send him a white Persian cat already so that at least he can complete the look of a James Bond villain?
 
2013-04-12 08:38:02 AM  
Dont shoot down our missiles that we launch at you..... or we will launch missiles at you?

4funz.com
 
2013-04-12 08:39:06 AM  

awalkingecho: stevarooni: funktilious_j: only way they are hitting Japan with a nuke is if they put it on a boat and drive it onshore. But the boat will probably sink halfway there.

Pentagon's saying that they actually might have nuclear ICBM capabilities (TwinCities.com).  Accuracy is, historically, a problem for 'em, but they might just have the technology to send such a missile.

You don't need an ICBM to hit Japan. At all.


A B29 could do it.  Does Un have one of those?
 
2013-04-12 08:40:32 AM  
Maybe Kim is in fact being incredibly noble, aiming for a massive war where he and his henchmen are killed and the country leveled, and then a huge pan-Asian rebuilding fund makes Best Korea totally shiney and new?

You never know.
 
2013-04-12 08:40:47 AM  
All this bluster is some sort of kooky celebration of Kim Il-sung's birthday which is Monday. They may actually shoot off their missile, but nothing will happen and shiat will die down next week.

*yawn*
 
2013-04-12 08:41:35 AM  
Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?
 
2013-04-12 08:41:39 AM  
This is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.
 
2013-04-12 08:41:51 AM  

Stoj: I will wipe America off the map!"
;




Pics or it didnt happen.
 
2013-04-12 08:42:13 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: A B29 could do it.  Does Un have one of those?


Point being, an ICBM would overshoot Japan. It would be nigh impossible for it to have such a short trajectory without bending back inward on itself and destroying itself on re-entry.
 
2013-04-12 08:42:16 AM  
Stupid Subby, there aint no such word as "ated" you meant to say he "eatedid" his logic book.

/the more you know.
 
2013-04-12 08:44:42 AM  

MrHappyRotter: This is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.

I read that in Brak's voice.
 
2013-04-12 08:45:29 AM  
There's plenty of crazy in the world, do we have to obsess over NK for the next few months?
 
2013-04-12 08:45:31 AM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: It's a well-known rule that it's two for flinching.


Hahaha
 
2013-04-12 08:45:37 AM  
Confucious say: "Paper Tiger beat nothing but Rock Lobster."
 
2013-04-12 08:46:12 AM  
OK lil-Un, you have shown the world you plume, now cut the crap and show us your willie, or STFU and go back to playing video games and eating Doritos in your mom's basement.
 
2013-04-12 08:46:19 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: awalkingecho: stevarooni: funktilious_j: only way they are hitting Japan with a nuke is if they put it on a boat and drive it onshore. But the boat will probably sink halfway there.

Pentagon's saying that they actually might have nuclear ICBM capabilities (TwinCities.com).  Accuracy is, historically, a problem for 'em, but they might just have the technology to send such a missile.

You don't need an ICBM to hit Japan. At all.

A B29 could do it.  Does Un have one of those?


A B-29 mention, in connection to Korea? Dammit now I want to go home and watch the "Quo Vaids, Captain Chandler?" episode of M*A*S*H again.

/Bless you, Walter
 
2013-04-12 08:46:29 AM  
I think this would be good for Japan, they've been all depressed since they lost that last war.  Beating up on someone smaller would do wonders for their psyche.
 
2013-04-12 08:46:34 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: awalkingecho: stevarooni: funktilious_j: only way they are hitting Japan with a nuke is if they put it on a boat and drive it onshore. But the boat will probably sink halfway there.

Pentagon's saying that they actually might have nuclear ICBM capabilities (TwinCities.com).  Accuracy is, historically, a problem for 'em, but they might just have the technology to send such a missile.

You don't need an ICBM to hit Japan. At all.

A B29 could do it.  Does Un have one of those?


It would be killer if he named it after his mother.
 
2013-04-12 08:46:48 AM  
Here's a fresh idea:
1. Take a small, uninhabited island in the Pacific, within easy striking distance from Korea
2. Populate it with dummy housing and mannequins left over from post-WWII nuke testing
3. Tell NK "This is a US "military base".  Any time you feel the need to impress your generals or your people, feel free to bomb the crap out of it." (We'll call this island "Lil Kim's Sandbox")
4. Sit back and repeat as necessary until the NK regime crumbles from within

Seems like a very cheap and safe solution to me.

(reposting because the admins killed the original thread it was in)
 
2013-04-12 08:47:44 AM  
i266.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-12 08:48:48 AM  

Coiled Hot 1: MrHappyRotter: This is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.
I read that in Brak's voice.


I had to stop and think for ten seconds about who This Brak was you were mentioning.

Then I realized that I too had already read it in Brak's voice.

/beans!!
 
2013-04-12 08:49:11 AM  

JRaynor: Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?


Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.
 
2013-04-12 08:50:34 AM  
From the Aritcle:

"...the communist country lashed out at Tokyo's standing orders to destroy any missile heading toward Japan, threatening such actions will result in a nuclear attack against the island nation."


Meh, not like THAT hasn't happened before.  This is yesterday's news.
 
2013-04-12 08:51:27 AM  
Point02GPA:

A B29 could do it.  Does Un have one of those?

It would be killer if he named it after his mother.


Didn't Un spring miraculously from his father's loins?  A Virgin Birth?
 
2013-04-12 08:51:44 AM  
I'm a little despot, short and stout
These are my missiles, this is my pout
When I want attention, here me shout
I make the whole world live in doubt
 
2013-04-12 08:51:50 AM  

awalkingecho: Confucious say: "Paper Tiger beat nothing but Rock Lobster."


Gotcha covered...

dopejams.net
 
2013-04-12 08:53:22 AM  

etherknot: awalkingecho: Confucious say: "Paper Tiger beat nothing but Rock Lobster."

Gotcha covered...

[dopejams.net image 300x300]


Groovy... you saved me a trip. From where I'm at it's fifteen miles to the Love Shack to get one.
 
2013-04-12 08:53:25 AM  

Hofheim: From the Aritcle:

"...the communist country lashed out at Tokyo's standing orders to destroy any missile heading toward Japan, threatening such actions will result in a nuclear attack against the island nation."


Meh, not like THAT hasn't happened before.  This is yesterday's news.


Japan is to nukes what trailer parks are to tornadoes.
 
2013-04-12 08:54:19 AM  

awalkingecho: stevarooni: funktilious_j: only way they are hitting Japan with a nuke is if they put it on a boat and drive it onshore. But the boat will probably sink halfway there.

Pentagon's saying that they actually might have nuclear ICBM capabilities (TwinCities.com).  Accuracy is, historically, a problem for 'em, but they might just have the technology to send such a missile.

You don't need an ICBM to hit Japan. At all.


Well that depends on where you launch it from, now doesn't it?
 
2013-04-12 08:56:01 AM  

Bisu: Well that depends on where you launch it from, now doesn't it?


*shakes tiny fist*
 
2013-04-12 08:56:17 AM  
Oh, fatty's birthday is coming up?  That explains everything.  No, really, it does.  What better way to celebrate NEW GLORIOUS LEADER's ascension than by making the world collectively shiat its pants as a birthday present.
 
2013-04-12 08:57:57 AM  
Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes should be required reading.  Doubly so for any leader in charge of nuclear weapons.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadako_and_the_Thousand_Paper_Cranes
 
2013-04-12 08:57:59 AM  

I_C_Weener: JRaynor: Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?

Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.


Hey thanks for the TF!
 
2013-04-12 08:58:53 AM  

Coiled Hot 1: MrHappyRotter: This is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.

...

I read that in Brak's voice.


Everything Un says should be translated into Brak's voice for added credibility.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-12 08:59:48 AM  

ransack.: I_C_Weener: JRaynor: Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?

Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.

Hey thanks for the TF!


You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too
 
2013-04-12 09:00:23 AM  

Lexx: Oh, fatty's birthday is coming up?  That explains everything.  No, really, it does.  What better way to celebrate NEW GLORIOUS LEADER's ascension than by making the world collectively shiat its pants as a birthday present.


No, it's his grandfather's birthday.
 
2013-04-12 09:00:34 AM  
I heard a guy on NPR suggest that he'll wait until the joint US/SK military exercise is over, then declare a glorious victory.  Seemed more plausible than anything else I've heard.

/still kinda wish somebody would biatch-slap him
 
2013-04-12 09:00:50 AM  

I_C_Weener: You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too


That's like telling someone they are getting a free colonoscopy
 
2013-04-12 09:02:13 AM  
I haven't been following, have our favorite animators in Taiwain made any good videos about Dear Eater in the last couple weeks?
 
2013-04-12 09:02:18 AM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: I get it now, he's upset about KFC's move to boneless original recipe, he prefers the bones because of the flavor and extra grissel


I think he's had sand up his vagina ever since BK discontinued their chicken fries.
 
2013-04-12 09:02:21 AM  

SoupJohnB: I heard a guy on NPR suggest that he'll wait until the joint US/SK military exercise is over, then declare a glorious victory.  Seemed more plausible than anything else I've heard.

/still kinda wish somebody would biatch-slap him


But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.
 
2013-04-12 09:03:29 AM  

Mad_Radhu: MyKingdomForYourHorse: I get it now, he's upset about KFC's move to boneless original recipe, he prefers the bones because of the flavor and extra grissel

I think he's had sand up his vagina ever since BK discontinued their chicken fries.


And Wendys changed their fries, he thinks they totally suck now that he can't dip them in his frosty like he used to
 
2013-04-12 09:03:33 AM  
If it came to nuclear war, it'd probably be easier for the Norks to make a big song and dance about their missiles while some innocuous Japanese registered fishing boat that nobody cares about goes straight up the river of one of their cities and detonates it. Of course they'd have to be out of their farking minds to do this since it would lead to swift annihilation but still.
 
2013-04-12 09:06:00 AM  

Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.


That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?
 
2013-04-12 09:07:02 AM  

drxym: If it came to nuclear war, it'd probably be easier for the Norks to make a big song and dance about their missiles while some innocuous Japanese registered fishing boat that nobody cares about goes straight up the river of one of their cities and detonates it. Of course they'd have to be out of their farking minds to do this since it would lead to swift annihilation but still.


Indeed.  Nukes might be the one thing that the Japanese take more seriously than earthquakes and tidal waves.
 
2013-04-12 09:07:48 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: Point02GPA:

A B29 could do it.  Does Un have one of those?

It would be killer if he named it after his mother.

Didn't Un spring miraculously from his father's loins?  A Virgin Birth?


Somebody in that dynasty was supposedly born over a burning mountain. A forewarning?
 
2013-04-12 09:08:01 AM  
I lived in Japan when Jong Il was runnin things. They'd prep to launch a missile, we would send out the Observation Island (missile telemetry ship) and show off some destroyers and a carrier, then the missile would break up 30 seconds after launch.
 
2013-04-12 09:08:04 AM  
What does
oi48.tinypic.com


have to do with Best Korea?
 
2013-04-12 09:08:23 AM  

fireclown: Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.

That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?


Is it fueled?
 
2013-04-12 09:09:01 AM  

awalkingecho: Lexx: Oh, fatty's birthday is coming up?  That explains everything.  No, really, it does.  What better way to celebrate NEW GLORIOUS LEADER's ascension than by making the world collectively shiat its pants as a birthday present.

No, it's his grandfather's birthday.


Eh, still a birthday present.
 
2013-04-12 09:09:36 AM  

Charlie Freak: Is it fueled?


Yeah they fueled it Wednesday. Or made a show of doing so. Then lowered it. Then raised it again yesterday.
 
2013-04-12 09:10:35 AM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: I_C_Weener: You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too

That's like telling someone they are getting a free colonoscopy


Same advice, too: "Just grit your teeth through the pain".
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-04-12 09:10:35 AM  

fireclown: Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.

That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?


It's  oxidiser is nitric acid, which is corrosive.
 
2013-04-12 09:11:33 AM  
I would think he's gonna have to do something now. He's made so many threats he won't want to look like a fool. Though it's too late for that.
 
2013-04-12 09:11:48 AM  

aevorea: MyKingdomForYourHorse: I_C_Weener: You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too

That's like telling someone they are getting a free colonoscopy

Same advice, too: "Just grit your teeth through the pain".


(Freakin' mobile phone cut off message)

Same advice, too: "Just grit your teeth through the pain".

/Former TFkette
 
2013-04-12 09:12:13 AM  

Lexx: Oh, fatty's birthday is coming up?  That explains everything.  No, really, it does.  What better way to celebrate NEW GLORIOUS LEADER's ascension than by making the world collectively shiat its pants as a birthday present.


Not fatty's, fatty's granddaddy... and being the founder of the country, that's like 4th of July for them. So, let's shoot off fireworksmissiles!
 
2013-04-12 09:13:38 AM  
All this talk about nuclear attack, all that is going to happen is that South Korea and Japan are going to want nuclear arms too right in China's back yard. I wonder how China likes their little puppet country now. Sure, China loves the death camps and the slave labor and the black market trade with the starving people who will pay top yuan, but having two nuclear armed states right on their border, plus a very good excuse for stationing US troops in the region, how is that working out for them?
 
2013-04-12 09:14:03 AM  
This is all very funny until he actually launches a crude ICBM and Japan's ABM assets have a bad day and part of Tokyo is missing.

/I fully expect this same scenario to play out in the Middle East involving Iran and Israel in a couple of years.
 
2013-04-12 09:16:33 AM  

KarmicDisaster: Japan are going to want nuclear arms too


Not very likely. It's against public policy and would be quite unfavorable. At least while there's still Hibakusha alive, it's not happening.
 
2013-04-12 09:18:08 AM  

socodog: Nobody's talking about the dirty bomb already set up for him to light the fuse. I'm talking about that big, juicy stack of depleted fuel rods at Fukushima. Nail that area with several conventional rockets and the pools rupture, the stacks fall to the ground, and then they catch on fire. There's enough there to put us back to the bronze age, according to some nuclear physicists.


It'd be like a Michael Bay movie, where one little bullet sets off a huge explosion that engulfs the plant and triggers all sorts of down-stream catastrophes.

I was thinking about panicking, but then I thought of driving around in a convertible made entirely of bronze. That would be pretty cool.
 
2013-04-12 09:18:41 AM  

awalkingecho: KarmicDisaster: Japan are going to want nuclear arms too

Not very likely. It's against public policy and would be quite unfavorable. At least while there's still Hibakusha alive, it's not happening.


Probably not Japan, but supposedly 70% of Koreans polled favor having their own weapons now. If it came to a vote, they would do it.
 
2013-04-12 09:19:05 AM  
I WILL ATTACK YOU FOR TAKING MEASURES TO PROTECT YOURSELVES FROM WHEN I ATTACK YOU!

o.onionstatic.com

Yeah. Please do it, FattyDingDongs. The sooner we erase you, the happier the world will be.

/Is the world really going to put up with several decades of this fatf*ck and his stupid sh*t?
 
2013-04-12 09:20:21 AM  

aevorea: MyKingdomForYourHorse: I_C_Weener: You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too

That's like telling someone they are getting a free colonoscopy

Same advice, too: "Just grit your teeth through the pain".


aevorea: MyKingdomForYourHorse: I_C_Weener: You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too

That's like telling someone they are getting a free colonoscopy

Same advice, too: "Just grit your teeth through the pain".


I first read that as "colectomy", but that's the one-year subscription.
 
2013-04-12 09:20:42 AM  

theknuckler_33: Lexx: Oh, fatty's birthday is coming up?  That explains everything.  No, really, it does.  What better way to celebrate NEW GLORIOUS LEADER's ascension than by making the world collectively shiat its pants as a birthday present.

Not fatty's, fatty's granddaddy... and being the founder of the country, that's like 4th of July for them. So, let's shoot off fireworksmissiles!


4th of July, Christmas, Easter, Yom Kippur, Ramadan, and Steak & BJ Day all wrapped up in one.
 
2013-04-12 09:20:54 AM  
Exclusive transcript of Kim Jong-Un's latest speech:

i261.photobucket.com

"One time I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I would just sit there with my mind a complete blank while the monkey scribbled on little pieces of paper.

At the end of the week the teacher said, "Class, I want you to write a paper using your notes."

So I wrote a paper that said "Hello, my name is Bingo. I like to climb on things. Can I have a banana? Eek eek!" I got an F.

When I told my Mom about it she said "I told you never trust a monkey!" The end."

/you're welcome, Brak fans.
 
2013-04-12 09:21:22 AM  

KarmicDisaster: All this talk about nuclear attack, all that is going to happen is that South Korea and Japan are going to want nuclear arms too right in China's back yard. I wonder how China likes their little puppet country now. Sure, China loves the death camps and the slave labor and the black market trade with the starving people who will pay top yuan, but having two nuclear armed states right on their border, plus a very good excuse for stationing US troops in the region, how is that working out for them?


3 more nuclear border states; Russia, India, and Pakistan?
 
2013-04-12 09:21:50 AM  

MrBallou: I first read that as "colectomy", but that's the one-year subscription.


I first read that as 'colecovision' and I always thought that would be the lifetime subscription.
 
2013-04-12 09:22:11 AM  

Klivian: The Googles Do Nothing: awalkingecho: stevarooni: funktilious_j: only way they are hitting Japan with a nuke is if they put it on a boat and drive it onshore. But the boat will probably sink halfway there.

Pentagon's saying that they actually might have nuclear ICBM capabilities (TwinCities.com).  Accuracy is, historically, a problem for 'em, but they might just have the technology to send such a missile.

You don't need an ICBM to hit Japan. At all.

A B29 could do it.  Does Un have one of those?

A B-29 mention, in connection to Korea? Dammit now I want to go home and watch the "Quo Vaids, Captain Chandler?" episode of M*A*S*H again.

/Bless you, Walter


I think given their track record, Five O' Clock Charlie might be more appropriate.
 
2013-04-12 09:22:23 AM  

Bhags: What does
[oi48.tinypic.com image 325x223]


have to do with Best Korea?


Both are mouthy biatches?
 
2013-04-12 09:22:43 AM  

Bhags: What does
[oi48.tinypic.com image 325x223]


have to do with Best Korea?


Subby is talking about Asian Bobby Hill
 
2013-04-12 09:22:52 AM  

generallyso: There's plenty of crazy in the world, do we have to obsess over NK for the next few months?


i492.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-12 09:23:10 AM  

Alonjar: Dont shoot down our missiles that we launch at you..... or we will launch missiles at you?

[4funz.com image 496x386]


Someone needs to counter this with Japan saying "If you shoot missiles at us for shooting down the missiles you shot at us, we will shoot them down."

See how long you can keep it going before Fatso collapses into a fetal position in the corner, drooling & sh*tting all over himself.
 
2013-04-12 09:23:31 AM  

MrBallou: I first read that as "colectomy", but that's the one-year subscription.


I'm pretty sure subjecting someone to that  is covered in the Geneva Convention and prosecutable at the the Hague
 
2013-04-12 09:23:57 AM  

tdyak: Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes should be required reading.  Doubly so for any leader in charge of nuclear weapons.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadako_and_the_Thousand_Paper_Cranes


I read that book in elementary school.  Here's the problem with your plan though:  Most normal people read that book and think about the very serious consequences of using nuclear weapons.  Kim Jong-Un would read it and think of it as an instruction manual.
 
2013-04-12 09:25:07 AM  
With the Chinese remake of Red Dawn coming out and the recent history of villainizing PRC and DRPK as the 'new Soviets' in media, it almost makes me wonder how much of the news we're getting is working alongside that propaganda to indoctrinate and garner support for an eventual war against that part of the world to clear our debt with Beijing the old fashioned way.
 
2013-04-12 09:26:30 AM  

awalkingecho: KarmicDisaster: Japan are going to want nuclear arms too

Not very likely. It's against public policy and would be quite unfavorable. At least while there's still Hibakusha alive, it's not happening.


Yeah, and we thought the Patriot Act and giving the president the power to declare war unilaterally was never going to happen.  And then 9/11.

All it takes is one miscalculation and Japan's world view changes.
 
2013-04-12 09:27:08 AM  

MrHappyRotter: This is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.


I'm waiting for the seven virgins and a mule...

/Keep it cool, keep it cool
//You've got to see the show!
 
2013-04-12 09:27:44 AM  

I_C_Weener: awalkingecho: KarmicDisaster: Japan are going to want nuclear arms too

Not very likely. It's against public policy and would be quite unfavorable. At least while there's still Hibakusha alive, it's not happening.

Yeah, and we thought the Patriot Act and giving the president the power to declare war unilaterally was never going to happen.  And then 9/11.

All it takes is one miscalculation and Japan's world view changes.


I don't think you realize how seriously they take the use of nuclear weapons. 

Also, their country isn't the pile of shiat that ours is by any stretch of the imagination.
 
2013-04-12 09:28:42 AM  

awalkingecho: With the Chinese remake of Red Dawn coming out and the recent history of villainizing PRC and DRPK as the 'new Soviets' in media, it almost makes me wonder how much of the news we're getting is working alongside that propaganda to indoctrinate and garner support for an eventual war against that part of the world to clear our debt with Beijing the old fashioned way.


Jesus, we're not going to fight China.  Why do people keep thinking that?  Both ourselves and China have VERY serious interests in remaining at peace with one another.

Oh, and if you think we could "clear our debt with Beijing," which amounts to 1.2 trillion dollars, for LESS than that amount, I encourage you to consider that the Iraq and Afghanistan wars have cost the USA ~1.4 trillion dollars.  Do you REALLY think we could defeat China at a lower cost than Iraq/Afghanistan?
 
2013-04-12 09:29:27 AM  

HMS_Blinkin: awalkingecho: With the Chinese remake of Red Dawn coming out and the recent history of villainizing PRC and DRPK as the 'new Soviets' in media, it almost makes me wonder how much of the news we're getting is working alongside that propaganda to indoctrinate and garner support for an eventual war against that part of the world to clear our debt with Beijing the old fashioned way.

Jesus, we're not going to fight China.  Why do people keep thinking that?  Both ourselves and China have VERY serious interests in remaining at peace with one another.

Oh, and if you think we could "clear our debt with Beijing," which amounts to 1.2 trillion dollars, for LESS than that amount, I encourage you to consider that the Iraq and Afghanistan wars have cost the USA ~1.4 trillion dollars.  Do you REALLY think we could defeat China at a lower cost than Iraq/Afghanistan?


You're not very good at sarcasm are you?
 
2013-04-12 09:30:06 AM  

awalkingecho: With the Chinese remake of Red Dawn coming out and the recent history of villainizing PRC and DRPK as the 'new Soviets' in media, it almost makes me wonder how much of the news we're getting is working alongside that propaganda to indoctrinate and garner support for an eventual war against that part of the world to clear our debt with Beijing the old fashioned way.


I am wondering if the "they don't have workable missiles" or the "omg they might have nuclear capable ICBMs" is the propaganda.

Pretty sure it is the latter.
 
2013-04-12 09:30:46 AM  

Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.


Sounds like my last Saturday night.
 
2013-04-12 09:31:29 AM  

HMS_Blinkin: tdyak: Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes should be required reading.  Doubly so for any leader in charge of nuclear weapons.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadako_and_the_Thousand_Paper_Cranes

I read that book in elementary school.  Here's the problem with your plan though:  Most normal people read that book and think about the very serious consequences of using nuclear weapons.  Kim Jong-Un would read it and think of it as an instruction manual.


Most normal people also look at that book through the lens of history and think "Wow, the use of nuclear weapons was terrible and something that I hope is never necessary again, but the alternative was worse. Two cities with primary industry for the war effort that Japan was undertaking compared with the genocide of the Japanese people and the deaths of a hundred thousand allied soldiers projected, it was two unthinkable options."

You're talking about an enemy that, for the most part, made the most fanatical modern Jihadist look like a pussy. These were women and children who would have gladly blown themselves up in the name of the emperor, their living God.
 
2013-04-12 09:31:44 AM  

fireclown: Indeed. Nukes might be the one thing that the Japanese take more seriously than earthquakes and tidal waves.


What about Godzilla? Where does Godzilla fit into the Japanese hierarchy of terror?
 
2013-04-12 09:32:35 AM  

fireclown: Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.

That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?


Not a missile nerd, I am a member of the 232 Chairborne Rangers.  I saw a couple of armchair generals, a living room strategist, and two Fark political policy experts earlier.  We're hoping to have this solved by the end of the day.  Is there something we can do to help?
 
2013-04-12 09:32:45 AM  

art_shamsky: fireclown: Indeed. Nukes might be the one thing that the Japanese take more seriously than earthquakes and tidal waves.

What about Godzilla? Where does Godzilla fit into the Japanese hierarchy of terror?


Pretty sure it's a bulletpoint under or reason beneath "Nukes"
 
2013-04-12 09:34:04 AM  
imageshack.us
send that phat phuq some viagra and enzyte and zoloft already. jheesh.
 
2013-04-12 09:34:31 AM  

Badmonkey82009: fireclown: Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.

That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?

Not a missile nerd, I am a member of the 232 Chairborne Rangers.  I saw a couple of armchair generals, a living room strategist, and two Fark political policy experts earlier.  We're hoping to have this solved by the end of the day.  Is there something we can do to help?


So glad you say this; I was just about to make a post about how it's unfortunate we haven't had FARK around for the course of military history. We might have made so many better choices from WWII onward if the Cabinet was just a TFD thread every week. What with all the well-informed and obviously correct experts we have that seem to know exactly what will and cannot happen at any given time.
 
2013-04-12 09:35:03 AM  

JRaynor: Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?


This is the thought process of a bully. Or a sociopath. Or paranoid-schizophrenic. Hell, just throw the DSM V at him, most of it will stick.
 
2013-04-12 09:36:16 AM  
"The enemies should know that it is the era of the great Marshal Kim Jong Un, leader of the most powerful country and invincible great Paektusan nation," KCNA stated. "The DPRK has won victories in confrontation with the U.S. in spirit and is waging an all-out action with it, with confidence in final victory."

Also, "There are no US troops in Baghdad."
 
2013-04-12 09:36:29 AM  

awalkingecho: So glad you say this; I was just about to make a post about how it's unfortunate we haven't had FARK around for the course of military history. We might have made so many better choices from WWII onward if the Cabinet was just a TFD thread every week. What with all the well-informed and obviously correct experts we have that seem to know exactly what will and cannot happen at any given time.


Well one thing is for sure, we'd have invented real dolls a hell of a lot sooner
 
2013-04-12 09:37:49 AM  
Anyone thought of suggesting that the Harlem Globetrotters do a tour of Best Korea?

Just wondering...
 
2013-04-12 09:38:19 AM  

awalkingecho: Badmonkey82009: fireclown: Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.

That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?

Not a missile nerd, I am a member of the 232 Chairborne Rangers.  I saw a couple of armchair generals, a living room strategist, and two Fark political policy experts earlier.  We're hoping to have this solved by the end of the day.  Is there something we can do to help?

So glad you say this; I was just about to make a post about how it's unfortunate we haven't had FARK around for the course of military history. We might have made so many better choices from WWII onward if the Cabinet was just a TFD thread every week. What with all the well-informed and obviously correct experts we have that seem to know exactly what will and cannot happen at any given time.


Hey, I've played enough Call of Duty to know that a few well placed commandos with unlimited lives can take out that ICBM before Kim bms.
 
2013-04-12 09:38:32 AM  

JRaynor: Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?


It's just a minor extension of the logic used when Putin got all huffy over US missile defense systems in Europe.  As you may recall, it was said the US was being provacative in daring to deploy a system that could take out a small handful of incoming missiles.
 
2013-04-12 09:38:39 AM  
I can only hope he has some doctor shooting him up with meth and laxatives otherwise this is a new type of crazy.
/lol
 
2013-04-12 09:39:07 AM  
Thanks,   I_C_Weener!
 
2013-04-12 09:40:20 AM  

aevorea: Thanks,   I_C_Weener!


i586.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-12 09:40:24 AM  
imageshack.us
 
2013-04-12 09:41:42 AM  

RedZoneTuba: Here's a fresh idea:
1. Take a small, uninhabited island in the Pacific, within easy striking distance from Korea
2. Populate it with dummy housing and mannequins left over from post-WWII nuke testing
3. Tell NK "This is a US "military base".  Any time you feel the need to impress your generals or your people, feel free to bomb the crap out of it." (We'll call this island "Lil Kim's Sandbox")
4. Sit back and repeat as necessary until the NK regime crumbles from within

Seems like a very cheap and safe solution to me.

(reposting because the admins killed the original thread it was in)


I rather like this idea. Cheap, efficient, and everyone wins.
 
2013-04-12 09:42:29 AM  

TV's Vinnie: I WILL ATTACK YOU FOR TAKING MEASURES TO PROTECT YOURSELVES FROM WHEN I ATTACK YOU!

[o.onionstatic.com image 250x292]

Yeah. Please do it, FattyDingDongs. The sooner we erase you, the happier the world will be.

/Is the world really going to put up with several decades of this fatf*ck and his stupid sh*t?


Oh, if you get rid of him, some other jerkoff, somewhere else, will just start whoring it up.

The world has a churning bucket of assholes, Un just happens to be asshole on top this month.
 
2013-04-12 09:43:18 AM  
I don't want anyone to think that I'm eager for Korean War 2: Juche Boogaloo fire up, because I'm not, but part of me sort of wishes that Kim Jong-Un would just shiat or get off the pot.
 
2013-04-12 09:43:24 AM  

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: TV's Vinnie: I WILL ATTACK YOU FOR TAKING MEASURES TO PROTECT YOURSELVES FROM WHEN I ATTACK YOU!

[o.onionstatic.com image 250x292]

Yeah. Please do it, FattyDingDongs. The sooner we erase you, the happier the world will be.

/Is the world really going to put up with several decades of this fatf*ck and his stupid sh*t?

Oh, if you get rid of him, some other jerkoff, somewhere else, will just start whoring it up.

The world has a churning bucket of assholes, Un just happens to be asshole on top this month.


On top for us. I'm pretty sure there's another country with a hair more power that gets muttered under the breath of the rest of the world.
 
2013-04-12 09:44:04 AM  
Yep, I seriously thought someone interviewed Lil Kim for her opinion on this subject. The "he" in the headline confused me for a minute...but I get it now.
 
2013-04-12 09:51:42 AM  

TV's Vinnie: Yeah. Please do it, FattyDingDongs.


\Candidate for nickname of the millennium!!!!
\\That shiat's going to stay with me for a while...
 
2013-04-12 09:54:16 AM  
Did Best Korea hire the PR guy from EA Games?
 
2013-04-12 09:56:45 AM  

Shadowtag: Did Best Korea hire the PR guy from EA Games?


If so, they'd have already launched, and everyone would have freaked out only to find out it was a dud.
 
2013-04-12 09:57:31 AM  

socodog: Nobody's talking about the dirty bomb already set up for him to light the fuse. I'm talking about that big, juicy stack of depleted fuel rods at Fukushima. Nail that area with several conventional rockets and the pools rupture, the stacks fall to the ground, and then they catch on fire. There's enough there to put us back to the bronze age, according to some nuclear physicists.


Yeah, if you somehow spread it all over the planet evenly. Given the accuracy of NK's missiles, they'd be lucky to hit within 5 miles of any location in Japan, much less strike one specific site or building. Even our ICBM's don't have that kind of accuracy (assuming they used HE warheads, of course).
 
2013-04-12 09:58:20 AM  

I_C_Weener: awalkingecho: Badmonkey82009: fireclown: Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.

That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?

Not a missile nerd, I am a member of the 232 Chairborne Rangers.  I saw a couple of armchair generals, a living room strategist, and two Fark political policy experts earlier.  We're hoping to have this solved by the end of the day.  Is there something we can do to help?

So glad you say this; I was just about to make a post about how it's unfortunate we haven't had FARK around for the course of military history. We might have made so many better choices from WWII onward if the Cabinet was just a TFD thread every week. What with all the well-informed and obviously correct experts we have that seem to know exactly what will and cannot happen at any given time.

Hey, I've played enough Call of Duty to know that a few well placed commandos with unlimited lives can take out that ICBM before Kim bms.


Just give me a remote-controlled Alex Mason robot and I'll take care of it myself...

/this is the moment the previous 184 hours of training were about!
 
2013-04-12 09:59:06 AM  

I_C_Weener: ransack.: I_C_Weener: JRaynor: Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?

Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.

Hey thanks for the TF!

You are welcome. Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too


If Fear is the mind-killer, TFD is the time-killer.
 
2013-04-12 10:00:10 AM  

Bendal: socodog: Nobody's talking about the dirty bomb already set up for him to light the fuse. I'm talking about that big, juicy stack of depleted fuel rods at Fukushima. Nail that area with several conventional rockets and the pools rupture, the stacks fall to the ground, and then they catch on fire. There's enough there to put us back to the bronze age, according to some nuclear physicists.

Yeah, if you somehow spread it all over the planet evenly. Given the accuracy of NK's missiles, they'd be lucky to hit within 5 miles of any location in Japan, much less strike one specific site or building. Even our ICBM's don't have that kind of accuracy (assuming they used HE warheads, of course).


you seem to think they don't have fishing trawlers that could carry Exocets or the like... and THAT ALL assumes that china isn't secretly backing them... maybe they're pissed about the money printing the US is doing - who knows... the dog may actually be off his leash...
 
2013-04-12 10:02:53 AM  

fireclown: That's a damned interesting point. Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?


Supposedly "several days, or even weeks" According to the wiki entry, anyway.
But it is NOT long lasting.
 
2013-04-12 10:07:13 AM  

socodog: Nobody's talking about the dirty bomb already set up for him to light the fuse. I'm talking about that big, juicy stack of depleted fuel rods at Fukushima. Nail that area with several conventional rockets and the pools rupture, the stacks fall to the ground, and then they catch on fire. There's enough there to put us back to the bronze age, according to some nuclear physicists.


awalkingecho:Point being, an ICBM would overshoot Japan. It would be nigh impossible for it to have such a short trajectory without bending back inward on itself and destroying itself on re-entry.

Holy shiat, people, where do you get this stuff?
 
2013-04-12 10:18:37 AM  

MyKingdomForYourHorse: I get it now, he's upset about KFC's move to boneless original recipe, he prefers the bones because of the flavor and extra grissel


Panda is more delicious and easier to debone.
 
2013-04-12 10:19:32 AM  

Smashed Hat: Coiled Hot 1: MrHappyRotter: This is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.

...

I read that in Brak's voice.

Everything Un says should be translated into Brak's voice for added credibility.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 250x245]


HIIIIII!!!! MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!
 
2013-04-12 10:21:50 AM  

stevarooni: funktilious_j: only way they are hitting Japan with a nuke is if they put it on a boat and drive it onshore. But the boat will probably sink halfway there.

Pentagon's saying that they actually might have nuclear ICBM capabilities (TwinCities.com).  Accuracy is, historically, a problem for 'em, but they might just have the technology to send such a missile.


Is anybody shocked that the Pentagon is backing another war and invasion? That place is such a suck hole for money that defense contractors are salivating over themselves just thinking about yet another thing to spend more money on and for them to put their hand another big pot of money. Endless wars is where the real money is at. God of War might of been a crappy Nick Cage movie but the last 10 minutes is never more true.
 
2013-04-12 10:22:08 AM  

brukmann: socodog: Nobody's talking about the dirty bomb already set up for him to light the fuse. I'm talking about that big, juicy stack of depleted fuel rods at Fukushima. Nail that area with several conventional rockets and the pools rupture, the stacks fall to the ground, and then they catch on fire. There's enough there to put us back to the bronze age, according to some nuclear physicists.

awalkingecho:Point being, an ICBM would overshoot Japan. It would be nigh impossible for it to have such a short trajectory without bending back inward on itself and destroying itself on re-entry.

Holy shiat, people, where do you get this stuff?


Well, while I realize his untested missiles can't be guaranteed for specs and it is not the Topol-M, just as a quick example:
"[Topol-M]  Its minimum range is estimated to be 2,000 km and the maximum range 10,500 km. "

Because of the way they operate, ICBMs reach their apogee and make a really slow arc to where they're going. Too fast an arc and the inertia battles against gravity and tends to cause drift, twist, or a structural instability. I'm not an expert so I'm not sure of the exact physics behind it but I've done quite a bit of reading on at least the known ICBMs and why their areas of effect are limited on either end.

I'm sure a Fark(TM) physicist can confirm and explain exactly why if they don't have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.
 
2013-04-12 10:34:23 AM  

Coiled Hot 1: I read that in Brak's voice.


Coincidentally about Kim Un, TWO HAMS WILL FILL HIM... TWO HAMS WILL THRILL HIM!  WHY DON'T YOU FEED HIIIIM... TWOOO HAAAAMS!
 
2013-04-12 10:39:13 AM  

awalkingecho: brukmann: socodog: awalkingecho:Point being, an ICBM would overshoot Japan. It would be nigh impossible for it to have such a short trajectory without bending back inward on itself and destroying itself on re-entry.

Holy shiat, people, where do you get this stuff?

Well, while I realize his untested missiles can't be guaranteed for specs and it is not the Topol-M, just as a quick example:
"[Topol-M]  Its minimum range is estimated to be 2,000 km and the maximum range 10,500 km. "


This guy has a range of 2000 km?
celebslists.com
 
2013-04-12 10:40:24 AM  

id10ts: awalkingecho: brukmann: socodog: awalkingecho:Point being, an ICBM would overshoot Japan. It would be nigh impossible for it to have such a short trajectory without bending back inward on itself and destroying itself on re-entry.

Holy shiat, people, where do you get this stuff?

Well, while I realize his untested missiles can't be guaranteed for specs and it is not the Topol-M, just as a quick example:
"[Topol-M]  Its minimum range is estimated to be 2,000 km and the maximum range 10,500 km. "

This guy has a range of 2000 km?
[celebslists.com image 214x314]


Traditionally, yes
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-04-12 10:41:23 AM  
awalkingecho:

. Too fast an arc and the inertia battles against gravity and tends to cause drift, twist, or a structural instability. I'm not an expert so I'm not sure of the exact physics behind it but I've done quite a bit of reading on at least the known ICBMs and why their areas of effect are limited on either end.
Not if you reverse the polarity.
 
2013-04-12 10:45:05 AM  

JRaynor: Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?


Not only that, North Korea launches a missile over Japan and Japan demonstrates their ability to destroy the incoming missile. North Korea then retaliates by launching a missile at Japan which Japan destroys.
 
2013-04-12 10:46:49 AM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: id10ts: awalkingecho: brukmann: socodog: awalkingecho:Point being, an ICBM would overshoot Japan. It would be nigh impossible for it to have such a short trajectory without bending back inward on itself and destroying itself on re-entry.

Holy shiat, people, where do you get this stuff?

Well, while I realize his untested missiles can't be guaranteed for specs and it is not the Topol-M, just as a quick example:
"[Topol-M]  Its minimum range is estimated to be 2,000 km and the maximum range 10,500 km. "

This guy has a range of 2000 km?
[celebslists.com image 214x314]

Traditionally, yes


What would it be if he were a rich man?
 
2013-04-12 10:48:14 AM  
OK... I'm not "Diplomatic." But I mean, really - why are we coddling this dip?

Why not have Obama go on TV, Pee on a big picture of chubby, tell the world if Un had a dick bigger than a flea, he'd shut the fark up and push the goddamn button. Insult fatso's mother, father, grandfather and double-dog dare him to launch and be annihilated.

This chump has been playing games too long - we're on his timetable. Let's put it on ours - purt up or shut up, you pathetic worm. Then he either loses so much face he's killed, cooked and eaten by his fellow Norks, or he pushes the button, and we flatten him, get him off our backs, and we don't have to worry about it any more.
 
2013-04-12 10:52:55 AM  

MrHappyRotter: This is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends.  Some leader started threatening not knowing what it was.  And he'll continue threatening forever just because this is the threat that doesn't end.


Emerson, Lake, and Palmer - Karn Evil 9?
 
2013-04-12 10:54:29 AM  

highbrow45: JRaynor: Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?

Not only that, North Korea launches a missile over Japan and Japan demonstrates their ability to destroy the incoming missile. North Korea then retaliates by launching a missile at Japan which Japan destroys.


The problem is the ability to destroy incoming missiles is 'iffy' - if that cycle repeated, sooner or later some would get through.
 
2013-04-12 10:56:03 AM  
 
2013-04-12 10:56:16 AM  

perigee: OK... I'm not "Diplomatic." But I mean, really - why are we coddling this dip?

Why not have Obama go on TV, Pee on a big picture of chubby, tell the world if Un had a dick bigger than a flea, he'd shut the fark up and push the goddamn button. Insult fatso's mother, father, grandfather and double-dog dare him to launch and be annihilated.

This chump has been playing games too long - we're on his timetable. Let's put it on ours - purt up or shut up, you pathetic worm. Then he either loses so much face he's killed, cooked and eaten by his fellow Norks, or he pushes the button, and we flatten him, get him off our backs, and we don't have to worry about it any more.


your right your no 'diplomat' but I agree with the basic spirit of your argument.
 
2013-04-12 10:57:27 AM  

perigee: OK... I'm not "Diplomatic." But I mean, really - why are we coddling this dip?

Why not have Obama go on TV, Pee on a big picture of chubby, tell the world if Un had a dick bigger than a flea, he'd shut the fark up and push the goddamn button. Insult fatso's mother, father, grandfather and double-dog dare him to launch and be annihilated.

This chump has been playing games too long - we're on his timetable. Let's put it on ours - purt up or shut up, you pathetic worm. Then he either loses so much face he's killed, cooked and eaten by his fellow Norks, or he pushes the button, and we flatten him, get him off our backs, and we don't have to worry about it any more.


Meh, just stop sending him ships full of grain. They'd end up with riots and their gov't would crumble in a matter of months. Even their military would probably abandon Dear Leader if faced with starvation.
 
2013-04-12 11:00:16 AM  
It's becoming more and more clear that this is just more of the same.  Perhaps a bit harsher rhetoric than previous kims, but this jackass isn't going to do anything.  That's good in some ways, but a shame in others.  An all out war would bring this all to an end, but not without a potentially large loss of life.  Does that outweigh another 60 years of this fat sack of shiat running the world's largest prison camp?  I don't know.
 
2013-04-12 11:06:44 AM  

I_C_Weener: Enjoy Total Fark Discussion too


heh.  you sadist you!!!
 
2013-04-12 11:06:57 AM  

vpb: fireclown: Klivian: But the exercise won't end until the missile is off the pad. And there is a finite period of time that the rocket can stay fueled before it just ruins itself.

That's a damned interesting point.  Are there any missile nerds on the board that can speak to this?

It's  oxidiser is nitric acid, which is corrosive.


>>The oxidizer is only a liquid between -11°C and 21°C

What? It freezes at -11C and boils at 21C? For serious? That sounds like a hell of a fun toy!
 
2013-04-12 11:07:42 AM  
Wasn't the CIA once very good at 'encouraging' internal revolutions and overthrowing unfriendly regimes? Why can't we just take a page from that play-book? - it seemed to work over and over in Latin America.
 
2013-04-12 11:10:20 AM  

jshine: Wasn't the CIA once very good at 'encouraging' internal revolutions and overthrowing unfriendly regimes? Why can't we just take a page from that play-book? - it seemed to work over and over in Latin America.


That only works when you can get people inside. Can't do that with Best Korea.
 
2013-04-12 11:12:29 AM  

jshine: highbrow45: JRaynor: Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?

Not only that, North Korea launches a missile over Japan and Japan demonstrates their ability to destroy the incoming missile. North Korea then retaliates by launching a missile at Japan which Japan destroys.

The problem is the ability to destroy incoming missiles is 'iffy' - if that cycle repeated, sooner or later some would get through.


I don't see North Korea launching a bunch of missiles at Japan. I think it'd be more of a one and done situation.
 
2013-04-12 11:12:43 AM  

wraithmare: I'm waiting for the seven virgins and a mule...


i wonder if rule 34 applies to this?

/not gonna check
 
2013-04-12 11:14:18 AM  
The Korean Peninsula has "been reduced to the biggest nuclear hotspot in the world", the North said in more fiery rhetoric today, "making the outbreak of a nuclear war on this land unavoidable."

If Japan executes its threat to shoot down any North Korean missile, such a "provocative" intervention would see Tokyo - an enormous conurbation of 30 million people - "consumed in nuclear flames", KCNA warned.


this guy is suicidal.
 
2013-04-12 11:15:05 AM  

KarmicDisaster: That only works when you can get people inside. Can't do that with Best Korea.


As I said in threads days ago...

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-12 11:17:15 AM  

KarmicDisaster: jshine: Wasn't the CIA once very good at 'encouraging' internal revolutions and overthrowing unfriendly regimes? Why can't we just take a page from that play-book? - it seemed to work over and over in Latin America.

That only works when you can get people inside. Can't do that with Best Korea.


Yeah, this is one nut the CIA can never crack. They are suspicious of all foreigners, everyone is closely monitored by everyone else. Sure we have spy satellites and intercept radio transmissions, but a spook on the ground there? Impossibru.
 
TWX
2013-04-12 11:19:18 AM  

jshine: perigee: OK... I'm not "Diplomatic." But I mean, really - why are we coddling this dip?

Why not have Obama go on TV, Pee on a big picture of chubby, tell the world if Un had a dick bigger than a flea, he'd shut the fark up and push the goddamn button. Insult fatso's mother, father, grandfather and double-dog dare him to launch and be annihilated.

This chump has been playing games too long - we're on his timetable. Let's put it on ours - purt up or shut up, you pathetic worm. Then he either loses so much face he's killed, cooked and eaten by his fellow Norks, or he pushes the button, and we flatten him, get him off our backs, and we don't have to worry about it any more.

Meh, just stop sending him ships full of grain. They'd end up with riots and their gov't would crumble in a matter of months. Even their military would probably abandon Dear Leader if faced with starvation.


Problems are twofold...

What little they do grow would go to feed the military first and foremost. Second, China would now have to deal with a refugee crisis on its border.

Of course, China helped make this problem in the first place, so perhaps my use of the word "problem" was a bit too strong.
 
2013-04-12 11:47:48 AM  

FunkyBlue: Smashed Hat: Coiled Hot 1: MrHappyRotter: This is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.

...

I read that in Brak's voice.

Everything Un says should be translated into Brak's voice for added credibility.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 250x245]

HIIIIII!!!! MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!


*snerk*
 
2013-04-12 11:48:11 AM  

hdhale: This is all very funny until he actually launches a crude ICBM and Japan's ABM assets have a bad day and part of Tokyo is missing.

/I fully expect this same scenario to play out in the Middle East involving Iran and Israel in a couple of years.


That is why even Iran has been issuing statements urging NK to calm down. First of all, even if nukes are not used, NK is showing what kind of bullshiat and headaches happen when unstable countries develop nuclear weapons. Now if NK actually USED nukes? The retaliatory response would be extreme, and in the chaos it wouldn't surprise me if Israel attached Iran. Either way, the argument for not allowing Iran to develop nuclear weapons is that much stronger.

Kim wants to be part of the legitimate nuclear club, but he doesn't really understand what that means. He apparently thinks it means develop the weapons and delivery systems then threatening everyone and saying, essentially, "what can you do about it but respect my power?" To the Russians and Americans who have been through the cold war this is an old game, and to many of those people Kim is insulting purely because of bad form. He is crude and clownish, an embarrassment to his country.
 
2013-04-12 11:52:40 AM  

Smashed Hat: Exclusive transcript of Kim Jong-Un's latest speech:

[i261.photobucket.com image 600x400]

"One time I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class. I would just sit there with my mind a complete blank while the monkey scribbled on little pieces of paper.

At the end of the week the teacher said, "Class, I want you to write a paper using your notes."

So I wrote a paper that said "Hello, my name is Bingo. I like to climb on things. Can I have a banana? Eek eek!" I got an F.

When I told my Mom about it she said "I told you never trust a monkey!" The end."

/you're welcome, Brak fans.


I'm drivin' down Highway 40 in my big old pick up truck! I'm drivin' down Highway 40 in my big old pick up truck! I'm drivin' down Highway 40 in my bi... oh, it's over!
 
2013-04-12 11:54:08 AM  

TWX: jshine: perigee: OK... I'm not "Diplomatic." But I mean, really - why are we coddling this dip?

Why not have Obama go on TV, Pee on a big picture of chubby, tell the world if Un had a dick bigger than a flea, he'd shut the fark up and push the goddamn button. Insult fatso's mother, father, grandfather and double-dog dare him to launch and be annihilated.

This chump has been playing games too long - we're on his timetable. Let's put it on ours - purt up or shut up, you pathetic worm. Then he either loses so much face he's killed, cooked and eaten by his fellow Norks, or he pushes the button, and we flatten him, get him off our backs, and we don't have to worry about it any more.

Meh, just stop sending him ships full of grain. They'd end up with riots and their gov't would crumble in a matter of months. Even their military would probably abandon Dear Leader if faced with starvation.

Problems are twofold...

What little they do grow would go to feed the military first and foremost. Second, China would now have to deal with a refugee crisis on its border.

Of course, China helped make this problem in the first place, so perhaps my use of the word "problem" was a bit too strong.


My solution involves Obama giving Fat Baby a call and reminding him that "Best" Korea could be extinguished in 9 minutes simply on his word alone and if Fat Baby wants to save face and not end up as ash or on trial for war crimes and executed, his best move would be to announce that he is ending the NK nuke program, dismantling their missiles, and will work toward spending more resources on becoming self sufficient so that they can build the proper "Communist paradise" that his father and grandfather could never achieve.

Naturally that means Fat Baby will probably have to have some generals executed.  Good.  Because if they aren't using Fat Baby as a puppet right now, they are damn sure giving him shiatty advice and need to be retired permanently.

/of course that plan also involves parking a couple of Ohio-class subs off the coast of NK and creating some glass parking lots if Fat Baby is too stupid.
 
2013-04-12 11:54:43 AM  

jshine: perigee: OK... I'm not "Diplomatic." But I mean, really - why are we coddling this dip?

Why not have Obama go on TV, Pee on a big picture of chubby, tell the world if Un had a dick bigger than a flea, he'd shut the fark up and push the goddamn button. Insult fatso's mother, father, grandfather and double-dog dare him to launch and be annihilated.

This chump has been playing games too long - we're on his timetable. Let's put it on ours - purt up or shut up, you pathetic worm. Then he either loses so much face he's killed, cooked and eaten by his fellow Norks, or he pushes the button, and we flatten him, get him off our backs, and we don't have to worry about it any more.

Meh, just stop sending him ships full of grain. They'd end up with riots and their gov't would crumble in a matter of months. Even their military would probably abandon Dear Leader if faced with starvation.


I heard a report by some 'Director of blah' guy on CNN that if China cut off fuel shipments it would bring them to their knees almost immediately.
 
2013-04-12 11:58:43 AM  

hdhale: TWX: jshine: perigee: OK... I'm not "Diplomatic." But I mean, really - why are we coddling this dip?

Why not have Obama go on TV, Pee on a big picture of chubby, tell the world if Un had a dick bigger than a flea, he'd shut the fark up and push the goddamn button. Insult fatso's mother, father, grandfather and double-dog dare him to launch and be annihilated.

This chump has been playing games too long - we're on his timetable. Let's put it on ours - purt up or shut up, you pathetic worm. Then he either loses so much face he's killed, cooked and eaten by his fellow Norks, or he pushes the button, and we flatten him, get him off our backs, and we don't have to worry about it any more.

Meh, just stop sending him ships full of grain. They'd end up with riots and their gov't would crumble in a matter of months. Even their military would probably abandon Dear Leader if faced with starvation.

Problems are twofold...

What little they do grow would go to feed the military first and foremost. Second, China would now have to deal with a refugee crisis on its border.

Of course, China helped make this problem in the first place, so perhaps my use of the word "problem" was a bit too strong.

My solution involves Obama giving Fat Baby a call and reminding him that "Best" Korea could be extinguished in 9 minutes simply on his word alone and if Fat Baby wants to save face and not end up as ash or on trial for war crimes and executed, his best move would be to announce that he is ending the NK nuke program, dismantling their missiles, and will work toward spending more resources on becoming self sufficient so that they can build the proper "Communist paradise" that his father and grandfather could never achieve.

Naturally that means Fat Baby will probably have to have some generals executed.  Good.  Because if they aren't using Fat Baby as a puppet right now, they are damn sure giving him shiatty advice and need to be retired permanently.

/of course that plan also involves pa ...


you're assuming Fat Baby possesses the mental capacity to comprehend cause and effect. That is not a safe assumption.
 
2013-04-12 12:07:27 PM  
chasd00:

I heard a report by some 'Director of blah' guy on CNN that if China cut off fuel shipments it would bring them to their knees almost immediately.

See, the thing is, it seems like everybody but us benefits by this submissive approach we've been taking. China doesn't HAVE to rein in their yappy little doggie, as long as we don't kick it. Norkies keep getting more and more time to improve their armament while we stand there and get pissed on.

Lighting a fire under this situation on our timetable forces everybody else to do something for a change. If China wants to avoid a conflagration, they would HAVE to step in. Porky would have to pay or play. And if we're the ones that stand up, we can do it now, with all our possible defensive and offensive wepondry in place, and not just sitting there "in case" for the next 12 months,.
 
2013-04-12 12:09:45 PM  
What a BK Launch may look like:

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-12 12:24:55 PM  

perigee: OK... I'm not "Diplomatic." But I mean, really - why are we coddling this dip?

Why not have Obama go on TV, Pee on a big picture of chubby, tell the world if Un had a dick bigger than a flea, he'd shut the fark up and push the goddamn button. Insult fatso's mother, father, grandfather and double-dog dare him to launch and be annihilated.

This chump has been playing games too long - we're on his timetable. Let's put it on ours - purt up or shut up, you pathetic worm. Then he either loses so much face he's killed, cooked and eaten by his fellow Norks, or he pushes the button, and we flatten him, get him off our backs, and we don't have to worry about it any more.


I almost agree. It's insane, but it's like the little farker who tries to bully everyone because they know no one will fight back.

What he needs is one of the principal nations of the world to basically push every button he has, taunt him into either finally just farking snapping or breaking.
 
2013-04-12 12:29:11 PM  
Wasn't this how the American Civil War started? The US Army took a defensive position at Fort Sumter and the south attacked because of it. Doing so included cleaning out another fort and damaging the cannons so they couldn't be used against the army's position. I read a local history book while in SC on vacation and it's explained way differently than what I learned growing up in MI. The "War of Northern Agression" was started by a defensive posture.

Basically someone wants attention and the way to get that is lashing out for any excuse. The difference is Kim is stupidly lashing at anything that moves instead of making a stand against a single target. I hope history is able to forget he even existed instead of using him as a cautionary tale.
 
2013-04-12 01:01:14 PM  
I would much rather the regime collapses, but how long have people been predicting the collapse of this regime?    Part of me hope for shiat to go off just so we can put an end to this saga and begin Korean reunification.    The images of the expressions on North Korean childrens faces when they use computers and video games for the first time should be worth it....
 
2013-04-12 01:01:18 PM  
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

I'll just leave this hear, because it amused me and I LOL'd.
 
2013-04-12 01:01:56 PM  

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: [sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 401x271]

I'll just leave this hear here, because it amused me and I LOL'd.


WTF. FTFM.
 
2013-04-12 01:27:11 PM  

TV's Vinnie: I WILL ATTACK YOU FOR TAKING MEASURES TO PROTECT YOURSELVES FROM WHEN I ATTACK YOU!

[o.onionstatic.com image 250x292]

thinkprogress.org
??

 
2013-04-12 01:31:42 PM  

I_C_Weener: Hofheim: From the Aritcle:

"...the communist country lashed out at Tokyo's standing orders to destroy any missile heading toward Japan, threatening such actions will result in a nuclear attack against the island nation."


Meh, not like THAT hasn't happened before.  This is yesterday's news.

Japan is to nukes what trailer parks are to tornadoes.


Here's the thing. Japan has the technology and the brains to put together several nuke-tipped missiles in about 2 weeks, maybe less.
 
2013-04-12 01:55:36 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: generallyso: There's plenty of crazy in the world, do we have to obsess over NK for the next few months?

[i492.photobucket.com image 521x319]


I like the cut of your jib.
 
2013-04-12 02:24:04 PM  

Zenith: perigee: OK... I'm not "Diplomatic." But I mean, really - why are we coddling this dip?

Why not have Obama go on TV, Pee on a big picture of chubby, tell the world if Un had a dick bigger than a flea, he'd shut the fark up and push the goddamn button. Insult fatso's mother, father, grandfather and double-dog dare him to launch and be annihilated.

This chump has been playing games too long - we're on his timetable. Let's put it on ours - purt up or shut up, you pathetic worm. Then he either loses so much face he's killed, cooked and eaten by his fellow Norks, or he pushes the button, and we flatten him, get him off our backs, and we don't have to worry about it any more.

your right your no 'diplomat' but I agree with the basic spirit of your argument.


Maybe because war isn't a schoolyard fight. You'd rather see thousands of people die than tolerate a troll?
 
2013-04-12 02:29:33 PM  
So Fallout 4: Old Nippon is confirmed then? I can't wait!
 
2013-04-12 02:50:54 PM  

BostonEMT: you seem to think they don't have fishing trawlers that could carry Exocets or the like... and THAT ALL assumes that china isn't secretly backing them... maybe they're pissed about the money printing the US is doing - who knows... the dog may actually be off his leash...


How would that fishing trawler get out of NK waters unoticed, exactly?

IT's not like we're not, you know. PAYING ATTENTION to the country.
 
2013-04-12 02:54:16 PM  
mbillips:

Maybe because war isn't a schoolyard fight. You'd rather see thousands of people die than tolerate a troll?

You're making the assumption that this situation is going to resolve itself quietly - which flies in the face of some twenty years of increasingly daffy escalation that I can remember personally. The difference between then and now is that

1) They can deliver missiles now.
2) They are - supposedly - at a point where they can make nuke warheads
3) They have gotten more insane that I thought possible
4) They have declared "Game On," and claim the right to first strike,
5) They have promised an increase in their nuclear program.

Do you want to defang the baby snake now that it's producing real venom, or do want to wait until it can really pack a whallop?

...Or are you expecting their hearts to grow ten sizes one day, and carve your roast beast for you?
 
2013-04-12 04:01:36 PM  

FunkyBlue: Smashed Hat: Coiled Hot 1: MrHappyRotter: This is the threat that doesn't end.  Yes it goes on and on my friends.

...

I read that in Brak's voice.

Everything Un says should be translated into Brak's voice for added credibility.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 250x245]

HIIIIII!!!! MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!


I read the "MY NAME IS" section in Schoolly D's voice
 
2013-04-12 04:19:14 PM  

I_C_Weener: awalkingecho: KarmicDisaster: Japan are going to want nuclear arms too

Not very likely. It's against public policy and would be quite unfavorable. At least while there's still Hibakusha alive, it's not happening.

Yeah, and we thought the Patriot Act and giving the president the power to declare war unilaterally was never going to happen.  And then 9/11.

All it takes is one miscalculation and Japan's world view changes.


It makes you wonder who's next?
 
2013-04-12 04:22:30 PM  

Katolu: JRaynor: Let me get this straight, if Best Korea fires off a missile in the direction of Japan and the Japanese destroy AN INCOMING MISSILE; it will be the Japanese that are acting as the aggressor?

wha?

This is the thought process of a bully. Or a sociopath. Or paranoid-schizophrenic. Hell, just throw the DSM V at him, most of it will stick.


Better not.  If Best Leader sees someone throw a book in his direction, he'll nuke Japan!
 
2013-04-12 08:31:50 PM  

perigee: Do you want to defang the baby snake now that it's producing real venom, or do want to wait until it can really pack a whallop?


It's kind of funny though because Iraq. You remember Iraq? They supposedly had WMDs (nee oil)! And America went right on in. North Korea? Minerals? Aaah you can get those anywhere.
 
2013-04-12 08:44:35 PM  
It's curious how in a month we've gone from experts in the news saying that the Norks lacked the ability to put a nuke in a missle and now all of a sudden it's possible.

I'm reminded of Iraq.
 
2013-04-12 10:57:49 PM  

etherknot: perigee: Do you want to defang the baby snake now that it's producing real venom, or do want to wait until it can really pack a whallop?

It's kind of funny though because Iraq. You remember Iraq? They supposedly had WMDs (nee oil)! And America went right on in. North Korea? Minerals? Aaah you can get those anywhere.


Rare Earth metals are a bit harder to find.
 
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