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(Short List)   To celebrate National Grilled Cheese Day tomorrow, something horrible has happened to a sandwich   (shortlist.com) divider line 199
    More: Sick, white truffles, cream cheese, Cheddar, lobsters, chipotles, sandwiches, drizzles  
•       •       •

15156 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2013 at 1:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-11 02:46:32 PM

show me: I bet that is farking incredible. Yum yum.


Yeah, sounded good to me too.

My friend and I made garlic cheese bread with carmelized sweetened onions and shrimp on it and it was delicious!
 
2013-04-11 02:50:06 PM

ladyfortuna: There was some article on here a couple months back that said it's actually a British invention I think? Something in WWII, they remove some element of the cheese and that makes it stay good longer.


No. I am, in my role as ambassador to Fark for the Glorious British Empire, willing to take responsibility for a great many culinary abominations, but Kraft patented non-fermented 'cheese' nearly a century ago.
 
2013-04-11 02:50:36 PM

louiedog: Canton: Okay, a buttered lobster panini, I could see, but... but caramel. Cheese curds. Lobster. Never mind the flavor. I can't imagine the textures working.

/Barf

Textures? Imagine the squeaking sounds made when eating it.


Normally, the squeaking would be a selling point, but in this case I'm imagining a zombie crustacean crying, "Help me! Help me!"
 
2013-04-11 02:51:19 PM
Without Miracle Whip, that sammich is crap.
 
2013-04-11 02:52:35 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: The Salted Caramel Angry Lobster Fatty Melt, as it's officially called, contains cheddar curds, smoked ricotta, gouda, two more types of cheddar, fromage blanc (a form of cream cheese), butter milk with chili-chipotle lobster salad and a salted caramel drizzle.

Fark that noise.  It's like an episode of Lost - alot's going on, but but none of it makes a damn bit of sense.

Cheddar on white for the classic.  Cheddar, bacon and reconstituted sun-dried tomato on pumpernickel FTW!


Had me a grilled provolone and pesto sandwich yesterday. That's my favorite.
 
2013-04-11 02:53:53 PM

blatz514: nirwana: Limburger sandwich from Baumgartner in Monroe, Wi, FTW!

And wash it down with this:

[www.theperfectlyhappyman.com image 800x600]


Been drinking New Glarus Moon Man lately, only because were supposed to be getting close to pale ale season.
 
2013-04-11 02:56:00 PM
A while ago I was at home. I had bread and cheese but no margarine. I did some search on the tubes to find out if I could use vegetable oil instead of margarine to make my  grilled cheese and stumbled across a page that said to use mayo which I had. I was dubious but feeling experimental so I tried it.

IT TASTED EXACTLY THE SAME AS NORMAL. YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT!
 
2013-04-11 02:56:06 PM

highbrow45: That sounds disgusting. What's wrong with a couple pieces of American cheese between two pieces of buttered bread?


Yes THAAANK YOU!
 
2013-04-11 02:56:20 PM
i'd eat it, but it doesn't sound like it's a good sandwich.  some good ingredients, yes, but no real balance or harmony.  flavors all over the place, fats and acids run rampant... and what's with the caramel?  lobster is already a pretty sweet meat.

this is like a young chef that wishes he was great, and has great ingredients, and has been told what might taste good, but has the palate of a 12 year old
 
2013-04-11 02:57:04 PM

Resident Muslim: I don't get the hate for fresh tomatoes in a grilled cheese sandwich!
It's like a poor man's pizza.

Come to think of it, it's like a poor man's calazone.
Especially if just fresh of the grill (or on of those sandwich toasters, with the cheese melting...

Great, now where am I going to get a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich.


Tomatoes are awesome on grilled cheese, but only if they are in season. Especially fresh from my garden.
 
2013-04-11 02:58:25 PM

Dirtybird971: It's not a grilled cheese sandwich without Campbells (tm) tomato bisque soup to dunk in.

/to me


THIS
 
2013-04-11 02:59:33 PM

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: Fark. That.

If you start adulterating a grilled cheese sandwich, you're farking up the sandwich. Its bread and cheese. Its not heirloom tomatoes, pesto and cheese, its CHEESE AND MOTHER FARKING BREAD. Its a grilled cheese sandwich. Its a cheese sandwich that has been grilled. I know bacon is delicious and I love it as much as everyone else, but its not a grilled cheese if you add bacon and avocado. This makes me irate. My husband once suggested we fancy up some grilled cheese. I told him I would make the fanciest tomato soup I could and then I'd make him a grilled cheese sandwich. He was satisfied because I was in the kitchen making his sandwich.



So instead of making the sandwich your husband wanted and simply telling him you'd do it if he didn't call it grilled cheese, you pulled a bait and switch, made him soup he didn't ask for and also made him a sandwich he didn't want because he had offended you by calling it grilled cheese?
 
2013-04-11 03:02:51 PM
I have a bit of info to add here... if you ever find yourself wanting to step up to the next level in grilled cheese weaponology, just find your local Cuban / Puerto Rico sandwich shop.
We have one here that does a killer Roast Pork sandwich. Loaded with all the goodies, including Jalapeno slices, Blanco cheese, etc and then grilled just like those Ho-Hum grilled cheese sandwiches.
However, be warned. Once you taste the pure goodness of a hot and fresh Cuban style grilled sandwich, you may find that grilled cheese sandwiches are now suitable only for preschoolers.
 
2013-04-11 03:05:16 PM

big pig peaches:

Tomatoes are awesome on grilled cheese, but only if they are in season. Especially fresh from my garden.


No way! Out of season rotten tomatoes from a dumpster are the best!
 
2013-04-11 03:07:42 PM
You eat at:

Diners
Restaurants
Hole-In-The-Wall
Pubs

Eateries are... Dubious choices at best...
 
2013-04-11 03:08:10 PM
American cheese and velveeta with tomato on buttered potato bread on a flat grill pressed down so that a bunch of cheese squeaks out and then blackens an inch around the bottom slice of bread is the bees knees of run on sentences.
 
2013-04-11 03:08:23 PM
Subby , I didn't see Dr. Ruth mentioned once in that article.
 
2013-04-11 03:08:38 PM
Scratch what I said of 'Hole-In-the-Wall', it's awful XD.
 
2013-04-11 03:08:51 PM

busy chillin': big pig peaches:

Tomatoes are awesome on grilled cheese, but only if they are in season. Especially fresh from my garden.

No way! Out of season rotten tomatoes from a dumpster are the best!


You do know you can get tomatoes all year long, right? They just aren't very good because you can't ship ripe tomatoes.
 
2013-04-11 03:08:56 PM

pute kisses like a man: i'd eat it, but it doesn't sound like it's a good sandwich.  some good ingredients, yes, but no real balance or harmony.  flavors all over the place, fats and acids run rampant... and what's with the caramel?  lobster is already a pretty sweet meat.

this is like a young chef that wishes he was great, and has great ingredients, and has been told what might taste good, but has the palate of a 12 year old


So... none of the foods touch each other, all pizza is plain cheese, box mac-n-cheese is gourmet, and everything gets extra ketchup?
 
2013-04-11 03:08:57 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: The Salted Caramel Angry Lobster Fatty Melt, as it's officially called, contains cheddar curds, smoked ricotta, gouda, two more types of cheddar, fromage blanc (a form of cream cheese), butter milk with chili-chipotle lobster salad and a salted caramel drizzle.

Fark that noise.  It's like an episode of Lost - alot's going on, but but none of it makes a damn bit of sense.

Cheddar on white for the classic.  Cheddar, bacon and reconstituted sun-dried tomato on pumpernickel FTW!


When using pumpernickel, the proper cheese is swiss.
 
2013-04-11 03:09:15 PM

jfivealive: American cheese and velveeta with tomato on buttered potato bread on a flat grill pressed down so that a bunch of cheese squeaks out and then blackens an inch around the bottom slice of bread is the bees knees of run on sentences.


You could bake your own bread with beer, and then use cheddar.
 
2013-04-11 03:11:21 PM

FarkinNortherner: tlchwi02: you are the only other person I have ever heard of who likes Worcestershire sauce with their grilled cheese

Hi. I think we have the makings of a support group.

For optimum yums, grate cheese, add Worcestershire sauce, then add just enough ketchup to give a sticky 'dough'. Spread on pre-toasted white bread, no butter. Grill until caramelised.


I've done that, but used HP sauce. A1 steak sauce would compare and work well too. It's got to be sharp cheddar though.
 
2013-04-11 03:11:39 PM

big pig peaches: Resident Muslim: I don't get the hate for fresh tomatoes in a grilled cheese sandwich!
It's like a poor man's pizza.

Come to think of it, it's like a poor man's calazone.
Especially if just fresh of the grill (or on of those sandwich toasters, with the cheese melting...

Great, now where am I going to get a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich.

Tomatoes are awesome on grilled cheese, but only if they are in season. Especially fresh from my garden.


Key: "grilled cheese and tomato sandwich" is not a "grilled cheese" and so long as you keep it honest about what you're making, its OK. I get annoyed when people say, "I love grilled cheese with [exceptionally long list of ingredients]." Arseholes, that's not grilled cheese, its a hot sandwich with cheese on it. You have to let the cheese be the star in a grilled cheese sandwich.
 
2013-04-11 03:12:31 PM
theknuckler_33:  When using pumpernickel, the proper cheese is swiss.

Amen.
 
2013-04-11 03:16:05 PM

Carn: It'll set you back $22

No it won't.


Me neither.
 
2013-04-11 03:18:40 PM

nirwana: theknuckler_33:  When using pumpernickel, the proper cheese is swiss.

Amen.


In between corned beef and sauerkraut
 
2013-04-11 03:19:11 PM

theknuckler_33: Benevolent Misanthrope: The Salted Caramel Angry Lobster Fatty Melt, as it's officially called, contains cheddar curds, smoked ricotta, gouda, two more types of cheddar, fromage blanc (a form of cream cheese), butter milk with chili-chipotle lobster salad and a salted caramel drizzle.

Fark that noise.  It's like an episode of Lost - alot's going on, but but none of it makes a damn bit of sense.

Cheddar on white for the classic.  Cheddar, bacon and reconstituted sun-dried tomato on pumpernickel FTW!

When using pumpernickel, the proper cheese is swiss.


Usually.  But when using bacon and tomato, cheddar works better.
 
2013-04-11 03:19:37 PM

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: big pig peaches: Resident Muslim: I don't get the hate for fresh tomatoes in a grilled cheese sandwich!
It's like a poor man's pizza.

Come to think of it, it's like a poor man's calazone.
Especially if just fresh of the grill (or on of those sandwich toasters, with the cheese melting...

Great, now where am I going to get a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich.

Tomatoes are awesome on grilled cheese, but only if they are in season. Especially fresh from my garden.

Key: "grilled cheese and tomato sandwich" is not a "grilled cheese" and so long as you keep it honest about what you're making, its OK. I get annoyed when people say, "I love grilled cheese with [exceptionally long list of ingredients]." Arseholes, that's not grilled cheese, its a hot sandwich with cheese on it. You have to let the cheese be the star in a grilled cheese sandwich.


Okay I agree with you there. Just don't go saying grill cheese and tomato is a hipster thing. I've been eating them since I was a kid, many moons ago.

When you start to call it "artisan" and charging more than $5 bucks for it you're getting carried away.
 
2013-04-11 03:20:31 PM

big pig peaches: busy chillin': big pig peaches:

Tomatoes are awesome on grilled cheese, but only if they are in season. Especially fresh from my garden.

No way! Out of season rotten tomatoes from a dumpster are the best!

You do know you can get tomatoes all year long, right? They just aren't very good because you can't ship ripe tomatoes.


sure. I was just snarking.
 
Ant
2013-04-11 03:27:40 PM

blatz514: contains cheddar curds

[robmart.in image 380x235]

Squeak!


Mmmm... Squeaky cheese!
 
2013-04-11 03:28:06 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: theknuckler_33: Benevolent Misanthrope: The Salted Caramel Angry Lobster Fatty Melt, as it's officially called, contains cheddar curds, smoked ricotta, gouda, two more types of cheddar, fromage blanc (a form of cream cheese), butter milk with chili-chipotle lobster salad and a salted caramel drizzle.

Fark that noise.  It's like an episode of Lost - alot's going on, but but none of it makes a damn bit of sense.

Cheddar on white for the classic.  Cheddar, bacon and reconstituted sun-dried tomato on pumpernickel FTW!

When using pumpernickel, the proper cheese is swiss.

Usually.  But when using bacon and tomato, cheddar works better.


So does another kind of bread.

;)
 
2013-04-11 03:28:28 PM
We have a "national grilled cheese day"? Good lord we are as fat and stupid as the world says we are.
 
2013-04-11 03:30:10 PM

FarkingReading: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: Fark. That.

If you start adulterating a grilled cheese sandwich, you're farking up the sandwich. Its bread and cheese. Its not heirloom tomatoes, pesto and cheese, its CHEESE AND MOTHER FARKING BREAD. Its a grilled cheese sandwich. Its a cheese sandwich that has been grilled. I know bacon is delicious and I love it as much as everyone else, but its not a grilled cheese if you add bacon and avocado. This makes me irate. My husband once suggested we fancy up some grilled cheese. I told him I would make the fanciest tomato soup I could and then I'd make him a grilled cheese sandwich. He was satisfied because I was in the kitchen making his sandwich.


So instead of making the sandwich your husband wanted and simply telling him you'd do it if he didn't call it grilled cheese, you pulled a bait and switch, made him soup he didn't ask for and also made him a sandwich he didn't want because he had offended you by calling it grilled cheese?


No, it went more like this, because he had no clue what he meant when he wanted something "fancier" than grilled cheese:
Mr. U: I'm hungry.
Me: What can I make for you?
Mr. U: I dunno. Do we have any X, Y or Z?
Me: No, we finished all of that stuff. I can go to the store to get whatever?
Mr. U: Grilled cheese sounds good!
Me: OK, do you want anything else with that?
Mr. U: what if you make fancy grilled cheese?
Me: Fancy? Like harvarti? gouda? swiss?
Mr. U: No, I want cheddar, but with something else.
Me: Sourdough bread? Como bread?
Mr. U: No, I want it on my bread.
Me: What else can I do to make it fancy for you?
Mr. U: I don't know.
Me: Maybe I can make you some fancy tomato soup then?
Mr. U: YEAH!

Had he gotten specific or agreeable about anything I suggested, I would not have been unwilling to make the sandwich as requested, I just don't know what he meant by "fancy" and therefore, I upgraded his lunch with soup.
 
2013-04-11 03:31:09 PM

i.r.id10t: pute kisses like a man: i'd eat it, but it doesn't sound like it's a good sandwich.  some good ingredients, yes, but no real balance or harmony.  flavors all over the place, fats and acids run rampant... and what's with the caramel?  lobster is already a pretty sweet meat.

this is like a young chef that wishes he was great, and has great ingredients, and has been told what might taste good, but has the palate of a 12 year old

So... none of the foods touch each other, all pizza is plain cheese, box mac-n-cheese is gourmet, and everything gets extra ketchup?


ok, 21 year old.  sheesh, it's like i'm trying to argue god's existence in philosophy class... although, since i opted for 21, i could just have said typo... fortunately for you, i'm new to the internets and would never lie.
 
Ant
2013-04-11 03:31:09 PM
I'd eat that thing.

My favorite is sourdough, cheese, tomato, and basil
 
2013-04-11 03:32:42 PM

Teknowaffle: Short list is a terrible site as it never opens to the site on my tablet.


Shortlist is terrible because nothing there would ever go on my shortlist.

Also, this caramelobstermeltosity is not good cuisine, it is the mind of the culinary school jerkoff at work.
 
2013-04-11 03:36:06 PM

ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: FarkingReading: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: Fark. That.

If you start adulterating a grilled cheese sandwich, you're farking up the sandwich. Its bread and cheese. Its not heirloom tomatoes, pesto and cheese, its CHEESE AND MOTHER FARKING BREAD. Its a grilled cheese sandwich. Its a cheese sandwich that has been grilled. I know bacon is delicious and I love it as much as everyone else, but its not a grilled cheese if you add bacon and avocado. This makes me irate. My husband once suggested we fancy up some grilled cheese. I told him I would make the fanciest tomato soup I could and then I'd make him a grilled cheese sandwich. He was satisfied because I was in the kitchen making his sandwich.


So instead of making the sandwich your husband wanted and simply telling him you'd do it if he didn't call it grilled cheese, you pulled a bait and switch, made him soup he didn't ask for and also made him a sandwich he didn't want because he had offended you by calling it grilled cheese?

No, it went more like this, because he had no clue what he meant when he wanted something "fancier" than grilled cheese:
Mr. U: I'm hungry.
Me: What can I make for you?
Mr. U: I dunno. Do we have any X, Y or Z?
Me: No, we finished all of that stuff. I can go to the store to get whatever?
Mr. U: Grilled cheese sounds good!
Me: OK, do you want anything else with that?
Mr. U: what if you make fancy grilled cheese?
Me: Fancy? Like harvarti? gouda? swiss?
Mr. U: No, I want cheddar, but with something else.
Me: Sourdough bread? Como bread?
Mr. U: No, I want it on my bread.
Me: What else can I do to make it fancy for you?
Mr. U: I don't know.
Me: Maybe I can make you some fancy tomato soup then?
Mr. U: YEAH!

Had he gotten specific or agreeable about anything I suggested, I would not have been unwilling to make the sandwich as requested, I just don't know what he meant by "fancy" and therefore, I upgraded his lunch with soup.


I'm glad I asked. Your version is much nicer and less manipulative than what I was picturing.
 
2013-04-11 03:38:31 PM

FarkingReading: So instead of making the sandwich your husband wanted and simply telling him you'd do it if he didn't call it grilled cheese, you pulled a bait and switch, made him soup he didn't ask for and also made him a sandwich he didn't want because he had offended you by calling it grilled cheese?


Some people just refuse to act like adults.
 
2013-04-11 03:42:56 PM

FarkingReading: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: FarkingReading: ImpatientlyUnsympathetic: Fark. That.

If you start adulterating a grilled cheese sandwich, you're farking up the sandwich. Its bread and cheese. Its not heirloom tomatoes, pesto and cheese, its CHEESE AND MOTHER FARKING BREAD. Its a grilled cheese sandwich. Its a cheese sandwich that has been grilled. I know bacon is delicious and I love it as much as everyone else, but its not a grilled cheese if you add bacon and avocado. This makes me irate. My husband once suggested we fancy up some grilled cheese. I told him I would make the fanciest tomato soup I could and then I'd make him a grilled cheese sandwich. He was satisfied because I was in the kitchen making his sandwich.


So instead of making the sandwich your husband wanted and simply telling him you'd do it if he didn't call it grilled cheese, you pulled a bait and switch, made him soup he didn't ask for and also made him a sandwich he didn't want because he had offended you by calling it grilled cheese?

No, it went more like this, because he had no clue what he meant when he wanted something "fancier" than grilled cheese:
Mr. U: I'm hungry.
Me: What can I make for you?
Mr. U: I dunno. Do we have any X, Y or Z?
Me: No, we finished all of that stuff. I can go to the store to get whatever?
Mr. U: Grilled cheese sounds good!
Me: OK, do you want anything else with that?
Mr. U: what if you make fancy grilled cheese?
Me: Fancy? Like harvarti? gouda? swiss?
Mr. U: No, I want cheddar, but with something else.
Me: Sourdough bread? Como bread?
Mr. U: No, I want it on my bread.
Me: What else can I do to make it fancy for you?
Mr. U: I don't know.
Me: Maybe I can make you some fancy tomato soup then?
Mr. U: YEAH!

Had he gotten specific or agreeable about anything I suggested, I would not have been unwilling to make the sandwich as requested, I just don't know what he meant by "fancy" and therefore, I upgraded his lunch with soup.


I'm glad I asked. Your version is much nicer and less manipulative than what I was picturing.

My husband is well fed and being well fed means he never objects to anything I feed him. This makes it nearly impossible to just feed the man in a quick fashion. For the record, I hate tomato soup, but he likes it. I made him what I figured he'd like because feeding him is how I tend to express love. I'm so lucky he'll run off the food I feed him, because I would hate to be responsible for the overfeeding of a husband. He's entirely capable of making his own food, but when I'll go ahead and cook whenever I can.

/I consider myself a lucky wife.
 
2013-04-11 03:43:43 PM
I'm not a paid shill, but if any San Francisco Farkers haven't tried it out yet, stop by the The American Grilled Cheese Kitchen. It's pretty damn awesome.
 
2013-04-11 03:44:29 PM

busy chillin': big pig peaches: busy chillin': big pig peaches:

Tomatoes are awesome on grilled cheese, but only if they are in season. Especially fresh from my garden.

No way! Out of season rotten tomatoes from a dumpster are the best!

You do know you can get tomatoes all year long, right? They just aren't very good because you can't ship ripe tomatoes.

sure. I was just snarking.


Sorry I must have left my sense of humor in my other pants.
 
2013-04-11 03:48:58 PM
Gruyere, caramelized onions, rye bread.
 
2013-04-11 03:49:46 PM

scarmig: "Hudson Common, a trendy midtown eatery..."

I think I found the problem.


Word. That's where I stopped reading.
 
2013-04-11 03:50:24 PM

theknuckler_33: Benevolent Misanthrope: theknuckler_33: Benevolent Misanthrope: The Salted Caramel Angry Lobster Fatty Melt, as it's officially called, contains cheddar curds, smoked ricotta, gouda, two more types of cheddar, fromage blanc (a form of cream cheese), butter milk with chili-chipotle lobster salad and a salted caramel drizzle.

Fark that noise.  It's like an episode of Lost - alot's going on, but but none of it makes a damn bit of sense.

Cheddar on white for the classic.  Cheddar, bacon and reconstituted sun-dried tomato on pumpernickel FTW!

When using pumpernickel, the proper cheese is swiss.

Usually.  But when using bacon and tomato, cheddar works better.

So does another kind of bread.

;)


 But then you lose the pumpernickel bite.  It's all about the synergy.

But Swiss might work, too, just not to my personal taste.
 
2013-04-11 03:52:48 PM
My favorite grilled cheese sandwich is served at Lake Street Cafe. I know, i know, it's not just cheese and bread, but it's still awesome. Smoked gouda, provolone, havarti with tomato and pesto on italian bread. I like to add bacon to it. SO much flavor!
 
2013-04-11 03:53:26 PM
I'm just fat enough to try the sandwich in the article, but twenty-two farking dollars? Pass.
 
2013-04-11 03:53:31 PM
As a Marine Core Soldier, i do not appreciate anyone telling me what is or isn't a grilled cheese sammich. If I sat that Kraft slices on pilot bread is a grilled cheese sammich, nobody here is tough enough to tell me i'm wrong.
 
2013-04-11 03:54:07 PM

ladyfortuna: Yeah I don't think so. I'll just have my default with American since I always end up forgetting about the other cheeses and they get moldy.


El queso está viejo y pútrido. ¿Dónde está el sanitario?
 
2013-04-11 04:02:41 PM
A grilled cheese sandwich is made with sliced white bread, American cheese and margarine or butter. Anything else is a grilled sandwich with 'x,y, and z'.
 
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