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(Fox 4 KC)   News: gay man issued restraining order after he refuses to leave partner's hospital bedside. Fark: the couple has been in a civil union for 5 years and the hospital refused to verify their power of attorney documents   (fox4kc.com) divider line 335
    More: Asinine, Kansas City, civil unions, gays, psychiatric hospitals, documents, hospitals  
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4137 clicks; posted to Politics » on 11 Apr 2013 at 1:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-11 01:29:10 PM
Separate but equal indeed.
 
2013-04-11 01:30:33 PM
Done in one.  I'll hit the lights.

*click*
 
2013-04-11 01:31:28 PM
Oh my god--what's next? If we allow them to be by one another's sides at their death then what?

Slippery slope for sure. Next thing you know they'll be able to live in fear of reprisal for existing. Society is off the rails. Women voting, etc.

/Seriously, why in Sam hell would anyone ask someone in their position to leave their partner's bedside? Just why?
 
2013-04-11 01:31:33 PM

meat0918: Separate but equal indeed.


civil unions don't exist in Missouri
 
2013-04-11 01:31:58 PM
Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.
 
2013-04-11 01:32:29 PM
This is why the answer of 'I don't care about gay rights' annoys me.  Stuff like this is beyond unfair, it doesn't matter if you're personally affected this time. Everyone should demand equal rights for people.
 
2013-04-11 01:32:40 PM

TimonC346: /Seriously, why in Sam hell would anyone ask someone in their position to leave their partner's bedside? Just why?


The family did.  Did you read the article?
 
2013-04-11 01:33:06 PM

JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.


Could you describe the ruckus?
 
2013-04-11 01:33:24 PM
I hope losing law-suits is something that hospital enjoys.
 
2013-04-11 01:33:25 PM

JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.


Yeah, replace him with you and his partner with your wife and let them tell you to get the hell out. If they did that with me, I'd fight to stay by his or her side.
 
2013-04-11 01:33:27 PM

TimonC346: Seriously, why in Sam hell would anyone ask someone in their position to leave their partner's bedside? Just why?


Given that I know someone who was told not to attend his own sons funeral,I'm never surprised by the levels of arsehole that are achieved by family members
 
2013-04-11 01:33:36 PM

TimonC346: /Seriously, why in Sam hell would anyone ask someone in their position to leave their partner's bedside? Just why?


If I had to guess, the family is just as ass-backward as most everyone in Kansas. Their family member is gay, but they refuse to acknowledge it. By denying his partner visiting rights, they're essentially blocking out that their family member is indeed gay.

If the family actually loved him, they would allow his parter to see him. Right now they're protecting their own ass-backward image.
 
2013-04-11 01:33:44 PM
Wow, good thing they separated those homos. Otherwise my marriage would have been irrevocably damaged.

Close call for sure.
 
2013-04-11 01:34:34 PM

JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.


If a hospital tried to make me leave my wife's bedside for no good reason, you can believe there would be a ruckus.
 
2013-04-11 01:34:52 PM
Research Medical Center We believe involving the family is an important part of the patient care process. And, the patient`s needs are always our first priority. When anyone becomes disruptive to providing the necessary patient care, we involve our security team to help calm the situation and to protect our patients and staff. If the situation continues to escalate, we have no choice but to request police assistance.

So you poke someone with a pointed stick, and them blame them for yelling "Ouch!". I can't decide if you're evil, or just scum. But I'm leaning towards evil scum.
 
2013-04-11 01:35:00 PM

bmongar: JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.

Could you describe the ruckus?


it was more of a rubble dubble. Five minutes it lasted.
 
2013-04-11 01:35:17 PM

skullkrusher: civil unions don't exist in Missouri


Which is why marriage, and the full faith and credit that brings, needs to be equal

/they also had mutual powers of attorney
 
2013-04-11 01:35:24 PM
Even with a power of attorney.  Unbelievable.
 
2013-04-11 01:36:33 PM

stevetherobot: JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.

If a hospital tried to make me leave my wife's bedside for no good reason, you can believe there would be a ruckus.


The family asked him to leave. His marriage is not legally recognized in the state. Therefore, the family takes a priority since their relationship with the patient IS legally recognized. This is one of the reasons why we need gay marriage. So shiat like this which is done according to the law no longer happens.
 
2013-04-11 01:36:37 PM
Bu-bu-but Libertarians told me that government could get out of marriage and everything could be replaced by legal documents like powers of attorney!

/mind you, I then laughed at them and told them they're wrong
 
2013-04-11 01:36:38 PM

scottydoesntknow: TimonC346: /Seriously, why in Sam hell would anyone ask someone in their position to leave their partner's bedside? Just why?

If I had to guess, the family is just as ass-backward as most everyone in Kansas. Their family member is gay, but they refuse to acknowledge it. By denying his partner visiting rights, they're essentially blocking out that their family member is indeed gay.

If the family actually loved him, they would allow his parter to see him. Right now they're protecting their own ass-backward image.


It's not just about the man who got thrown out - the guy has power of attorney and makes medical decisions for his partner, so this idiocy is hurting the patient as well. There is literally no possible justification for what happened here.
 
2013-04-11 01:36:43 PM

JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.


If a relative tried to remove me from my partners bedside I would create a ruckus as well.

/thankfully our parents aren't delusional wingnuts
 
2013-04-11 01:37:00 PM

JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.


If someone asked me to leave a loved one's bedside because they didn't recognize my relationship you better believe there would be a ruckus. Followed by a brouhaha, a hullabo ending with a full on rampage.
 
2013-04-11 01:37:31 PM

Macinfarker: Even with a power of attorney.  Unbelievable.


To most gay people who read this story, it is the definition of Fark: not news. It happens all the time. It's why anti-gay apologists who argue about the ability of two adults to enter into contracts to ensure their rights are universally mocked by anyone with a modicum of real-world experience when it comes to POAs and wills etc.
 
2013-04-11 01:37:44 PM

stevetherobot: JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.

If a hospital tried to make me leave my wife's bedside for no good reason, you can believe there would be a ruckus.


According to the article I read, not subby's attention grabbing headline, the hospital didn't kick him for being gay, they kicked him because the patients family said to leave.  The family won this argument because of the state, not the hospital being a dick.

Take it up with the family being a bunch of arseholes, not the hospital.
 
2013-04-11 01:37:59 PM

Macinfarker: Even with a power of attorney.  Unbelievable.


And there is the kicker, right there.  Hospital is done, if they actually forced him to leave.
 
2013-04-11 01:38:44 PM

DuncanMhor: skullkrusher: civil unions don't exist in Missouri

Which is why marriage, and the full faith and credit that brings, needs to be equal

/they also had mutual powers of attorney


yeah. Dunno if being a healthcare proxy gives you the right to visit the patient outside of family wishes though.
 
2013-04-11 01:38:51 PM

scottydoesntknow: TimonC346: /Seriously, why in Sam hell would anyone ask someone in their position to leave their partner's bedside? Just why?

If I had to guess, the family is just as ass-backward as most everyone in Kansas.


Why, then, are they at a Missouri hospital?

/Certain that state lawmakers will work to remedy this situation.
//By passing legislation stating that power of attorney documents between same-sex partners are null and void.
///Hopes the hospitalized man's family members all individually suffer painful, lingering, terminal cancer.
 
2013-04-11 01:39:01 PM
But, but, but, I just wanted to point out, everyone is just debating a label!  A label!  Let gays get civil unioned!   No marriage for them.  We must protect the institution.  They already have all the same rights as everyone else.  It's just a label!  LABEL!

/fark you, John Roberts
 
2013-04-11 01:39:12 PM

scottydoesntknow: TimonC346: /Seriously, why in Sam hell would anyone ask someone in their position to leave their partner's bedside? Just why?

If I had to guess, the family is just as ass-backward as most everyone in Kansas. Their family member is gay, but they refuse to acknowledge it. By denying his partner visiting rights, they're essentially blocking out that their family member is indeed gay.

If the family actually loved him, they would allow his parter to see him. Right now they're protecting their own ass-backward image.


Missouri, not Kansas. I know, Kansas City is confusing.

Anyway, pretty clear the family are bigots. However, next-of-kin is superseded by durable power of attorney. Refusal of the hospital to recognize durable power of attorney, or even examine the documents, in favor the next-of-kin is clearly illegal. In addition, hospitals are required to provide visitation rights to same-sex couples, even unmarried ones, if they are to receive federal funds through Medicare and Medicaid, which I'm sure this hospital does. Next-of-kin do not have power to deny those rights. So, despite the bigotry of the law, there are obvious legal remedies against the hospital, and I hope they get sued out of business.
 
2013-04-11 01:39:13 PM

bmongar: JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.

Could you describe the ruckus?



No, but he heard it.

www.pajiba.com
 
2013-04-11 01:39:14 PM

bmongar: JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.

Could you describe the ruckus?


skullkrusher: bmongar: JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.

Could you describe the ruckus?

it was more of a rubble dubble. Five minutes it lasted.


gingerjet: JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.

If a relative tried to remove me from my partners bedside I would create a ruckus as well.

/thankfully our parents aren't delusional wingnuts


Glenford: JusticeandIndependence: Sounds to me like there is more to this story.  In the article it mentions a ruckus.

If someone asked me to leave a loved one's bedside because they didn't recognize my relationship you better believe there would be a ruckus. Followed by a brouhaha, a hullabo ending with a full on rampage.


Thank you everyone.  I left that as open as Kevin Ware's leg.
 
2013-04-11 01:39:16 PM

Biological Ali: scottydoesntknow: TimonC346: /Seriously, why in Sam hell would anyone ask someone in their position to leave their partner's bedside? Just why?

If I had to guess, the family is just as ass-backward as most everyone in Kansas. Their family member is gay, but they refuse to acknowledge it. By denying his partner visiting rights, they're essentially blocking out that their family member is indeed gay.

If the family actually loved him, they would allow his parter to see him. Right now they're protecting their own ass-backward image.

It's not just about the man who got thrown out - the guy has power of attorney and makes medical decisions for his partner, so this idiocy is hurting the patient as well. There is literally no possible justification for what happened here.


There is no rational justification for it, definitely. But you aren't dealing with rational people. If everyone was rational, gay marriage wouldn't even need to be an argument.

Again, it's icky to the family members, and they demanded he leave. A lawsuit for ignoring the power of attorney should be the partner's next step.
 
2013-04-11 01:39:27 PM

Theaetetus: Bu-bu-but Libertarians told me that government could get out of marriage and everything could be replaced by legal documents like powers of attorney!

/mind you, I then laughed at them and told them they're wrong


They don't function within a system that contains an absured privileged class, ergo they would also fail in its absence.


Wait no, that doesn't make any damn sense.
 
2013-04-11 01:40:05 PM
Research Medical Center says it does not discriminate based on sexual orientation or race.

But you clearly do.
 
2013-04-11 01:40:35 PM

Biological Ali: It's not just about the man who got thrown out - the guy has power of attorney and makes medical decisions for his partner, so this idiocy is hurting the patient as well. There is literally no possible justification for what happened here.


Allegedly has power of attorney, it seems... He wanted the nurse to go look it up in a patient file, which is a reasonable request, but can also be reasonably denied when the family is saying there's no power of attorney and get this stranger out of our dear uncle's room.
Good reason to always carry your legal documents on you, in a state that will tend to be hostile to your relationship.
 
2013-04-11 01:40:40 PM

JusticeandIndependence: According to the article I read, not subby's attention grabbing headline, the hospital didn't kick him for being gay, they kicked him because the patients family said to leave. The family won this argument because of the state, not the hospital being a dick.


The hospital also got a restraining order. That's kind of a dick move.
 
2013-04-11 01:40:45 PM

skullkrusher: DuncanMhor: skullkrusher: civil unions don't exist in Missouri

Which is why marriage, and the full faith and credit that brings, needs to be equal

/they also had mutual powers of attorney

yeah. Dunno if being a healthcare proxy gives you the right to visit the patient outside of family wishes though.


If you are someone's health care proxy, how are you supposed to make decisions related to their care for them if you aren't allowed to visit them and confer with doctors and nurses about their condition?
 
2013-04-11 01:41:00 PM

Theaetetus: Bu-bu-but Libertarians told me that government could get out of marriage and everything could be replaced by legal documents like powers of attorney!

/mind you, I then laughed at them and told them they're wrong


Bu-bu-but it's not these anonymous "Libertarian"'s fault that the hospital perhaps illegally ignored a legal contract!

Is a marriage license somehow magical that it cannot be ignored by hospital staff?

You should laugh less and think more.
 
2013-04-11 01:41:29 PM

JusticeandIndependence: Take it up with the family being a bunch of arseholes, not the hospital.


Yes, the family and the legal system that doesn't recognize their marriage. My family is free to tell any and all non-relatives to leave my bedside except my spouse, and that is how it should be.
 
2013-04-11 01:42:55 PM

Serious Black: skullkrusher: DuncanMhor: skullkrusher: civil unions don't exist in Missouri

Which is why marriage, and the full faith and credit that brings, needs to be equal

/they also had mutual powers of attorney

yeah. Dunno if being a healthcare proxy gives you the right to visit the patient outside of family wishes though.

If you are someone's health care proxy, how are you supposed to make decisions related to their care for them if you aren't allowed to visit them and confer with doctors and nurses about their condition?


I dunno. By phone? I don't know what rights aside from making medical decisions a HCP confers. Does it make you immediate family and not subject to the same visiting hours restrictions? It probably doesn't often come up except in cases like this because the HCP is usually a legally recognized family member
 
2013-04-11 01:43:06 PM

skullkrusher: Is a marriage license somehow magical that it cannot be ignored by hospital staff?


Legally, yes. Isn't it?
 
2013-04-11 01:43:40 PM

TimonC346: Seriously, why in Sam hell would anyone ask someone in their position to leave their partner's bedside? Just why?


It says the family of the sick man asked for the partner to be removed. Betting that the family of the sick guy don't approve of him being gay and decided to be dicks... putting religious hatred and bigotry over empathy and compassion for their family member.
 
2013-04-11 01:44:29 PM
There have been rules in place for over two years that bar what the hospital did.   Link

They will find themselves in some deep shiat.
 
2013-04-11 01:44:47 PM

thurstonxhowell: skullkrusher: Is a marriage license somehow magical that it cannot be ignored by hospital staff?

Legally, yes. Isn't it?


well, yeah, you'd think the same applies to any contract though no?
 
2013-04-11 01:45:10 PM
This story has made me sick.
 
2013-04-11 01:45:44 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Research Medical Center says it does not discriminate based on sexual orientation or race.

But you clearly do.


Notice of Nondiscrimination As a recipient of Federal financial assistance, this HCA Midwest Health System hospital does not exclude, deny benefits to or otherwise discriminate against any person on the ground of race, color, or national origin, or on the basis of disability or age...

Which means it's ok to discriminate against teh gheys
 
2013-04-11 01:46:20 PM

James!: There have been rules in place for over two years that bar what the hospital did.   Link

They will find themselves in some deep shiat.


not if the patient didn't or couldn't claim his partner as a valid visitor
 
2013-04-11 01:46:50 PM
I read stories like this and I realize that at one time, interracial marriage was treated the same way....and now it's not.....which gives me hope that gay marriage will become commonplace and no one will give a shiat what genitals you're attracted to.  I'd for once like to say I live in the United States of America and not feel a twinge of embarrassment for some of the retarded, ignorant bullshiat that goes on here on a daily basis.
 
2013-04-11 01:47:51 PM

miscreant: TimonC346: Seriously, why in Sam hell would anyone ask someone in their position to leave their partner's bedside? Just why?

It says the family of the sick man asked for the partner to be removed. Betting that the family of the sick guy don't approve of him being gay and decided to be dicks... putting religious hatred and bigotry over empathy and compassion for their family member.


Oh yeah--In reading all the responses it sounded like I didn't know the family was the one who wanted him removed--I get that. It's horrible. Every single farking person with any common sense knows that a horrible moral decision. It goes against the wishes of the dying person and their devoted partner. I only wish common sense prevailed.
 
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