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(Telegraph)   Iranian scientist claims he built a time machine. This is not a repeat from 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 84
    More: Cool, Iranians, time machines, scientists claim, Iranian scientists  
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8832 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2013 at 1:18 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-11 12:40:25 PM  
LOOK AHMED, I got CS9 on my Meccatosh Pro.
 
2013-04-11 12:43:35 PM  
ایران می رود در زمان به عقب.امریکا است نه بیشتر.
 
2013-04-11 01:02:46 PM  
That's a time machine in the same way I'm a fit, well balanced, and sober individual.
 
2013-04-11 01:11:58 PM  
I'm sure this is appropriate somehow.

www.smbc-comics.com
 
2013-04-11 01:19:32 PM  
It's probably full of parts from a pinball machine.
 
2013-04-11 01:20:49 PM  
HAhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah Hohohohohoohohohohohohohohohohoh
Oh mercy.
 
2013-04-11 01:22:33 PM  
Maybe they did, the whole country has seemed to go back in time
 
2013-04-11 01:22:35 PM  
Well it's really not all that unbelievable given Iran's undeniable technical, economic and military prowess, I mean what else would you expect from the country that ended WWII by nuking Berlin, Put the first men on the moon, invented the microchip and the internet?
 
2013-04-11 01:23:34 PM  
Well, once you know the truth about how time works, it's pretty easy I guess.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-11 01:23:45 PM  
Seems legit.
 
2013-04-11 01:24:04 PM  
It will carry you into the future at the blazing speed of 1 second per second.
 
2013-04-11 01:24:49 PM  
I'll try it, but can he guarantee my safety?
 
2013-04-11 01:25:11 PM  
Bullshiat.  Imadinnerjacket would've already confiscated it and gone back in time and kept Judaism and Christianity from forming if this were real.
 
2013-04-11 01:25:20 PM  
How long till the Time Mossad kills him?

/along with a bunch of civilians that were flying in a time traveling passenger plane
 
2013-04-11 01:25:38 PM  
To be fair, they've already found at least one way to take their country to the stone age. It's called fundamentalism.
 
2013-04-11 01:28:57 PM  
Wouldn't this be a prepeat?
 
2013-04-11 01:29:28 PM  
FTA:  "The device can predict the future in a print out after taking readings from the touch of a user, he told the Fars state newsagency." (my emphasis)

So I gather it is some sort of automatic palm-reading machine? Can it do Tarot card readings?

GVQTM

(Giggling very quietly to myself--I'm finishing off a late lunch at my desk. I can stifle laughter and yawn with my mouth shut. I'm a bureaucrat.)
 
2013-04-11 01:30:26 PM  

James!: I'm sure this is appropriate somehow.

[www.smbc-comics.com image 612x1193]


I'm not sure I get it....
 
2013-04-11 01:30:46 PM  
Made up story by The Telegraph. Guarantee there is no Iranian that claims to have invented a time machine. These stories are put to to make your enemy look silly.
 
2013-04-11 01:30:51 PM  

Ned Stark: It will carry you into the future at the blazing speed of 1 second per second.


www.lolhome.com
 
2013-04-11 01:31:19 PM  
i164.photobucket.com

/i like money
 
2013-04-11 01:31:26 PM  
FTA: The Americans are trying to make this invention by spending millions of dollars on it where I have already achieved it by a fraction of the cost," he said. "The reason that we are not launching our prototype at this stage is that the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight."

(sigh) It would be nice if people with mental issues were given help and counseling from trained professionals, not encouragement in their delusions from the media.
 
2013-04-11 01:31:35 PM  
"The reason that we are not launching our prototype at this stage is that the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight"

Even the iranians are afraid of the Chinese.

But with a machine that can predict the future, I guess they are not afraid, they know what's going to happen.
 
2013-04-11 01:34:12 PM  
So has he told his government that they should surrender to the Dominion?
 
2013-04-11 01:34:20 PM  
So is this how they got their hands on the surplus of Members Only jackets?
 
2013-04-11 01:34:34 PM  

Gabrielmot: FTA: The Americans are trying to make this invention by spending millions of dollars on it where I have already achieved it by a fraction of the cost," he said. "The reason that we are not launching our prototype at this stage is that the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight."

(sigh) It would be nice if people with mental issues were given help and counseling from trained professionals, not encouragement in their delusions from the media.


Maybe. But it's an entertaining breed of mental health issues, unlike TV's matthew lesko..
 
2013-04-11 01:37:04 PM  
I would be really neat if someone could invent a time machine.  But there is one problem that really throws the whole thing into the air...  Nothing in the universe is sitting fixed in position. If you jumped any direction in time, it would be completely unknowable to determine WHERE you would end up.  The planet, the sun, the galaxy, all would be in different places.  You would likely find yourself if empty outer space, billions of miles from anything.

On the other hand, it IS possible to slow time down for yourself relative to others around.  That is a form of time travel. Thank you Mr. Einstein for explaining that.
 
2013-04-11 01:37:25 PM  
Are we sure this isn't a repost from the Iranian version of The Onion?
 
2013-04-11 01:37:40 PM  
static.ddmcdn.com
Time Machine.
 
2013-04-11 01:38:21 PM  
FTA: Razaeghi, 27, said the device worked by a set of complex algorithims to "predict five to eight years of the future life of any individual, with 98 percent accuracy".

Sounds legit.  I can probably predict the next 5-8 years of 98% of the Iranian population.  The other 2% manages to get of the country.
 
2013-04-11 01:43:11 PM  
img268.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-11 01:44:55 PM  
data.whicdn.com

It's a piece of crap, it doesn't work!
 
2013-04-11 01:46:55 PM  
Bah!  It's no Machine of Death!  That thing tells you how you're going to die.
 
2013-04-11 01:46:59 PM  
Dang it PapaChester!   Just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh
 
2013-04-11 01:49:08 PM  
FTA: Razaeghi, 27, said the device worked by a set of complex algorithims to "predict five to eight years of the future life of any individual, with 98 percent accuracy".

That is nothing, I can predict an Iranian's fate one hundred years from today with 98 percent accuracy.


Now give me my Nobel Prize.
 
2013-04-11 01:50:25 PM  
cdn.theatlanticwire.com

Is this the one??
 
2013-04-11 01:51:06 PM  
... That's not a Time Machine.  That's a prototype for Dr. Hugo Pinero's rig (see 'Life-Line', by Robert A. Heinlein).
 
2013-04-11 01:52:53 PM  
Beautiful headline, subby.
 
2013-04-11 01:55:47 PM  

durbnpoisn: I would be really neat if someone could invent a time machine.  But there is one problem that really throws the whole thing into the air...  Nothing in the universe is sitting fixed in position. If you jumped any direction in time, it would be completely unknowable to determine WHERE you would end up.


It depends on the type of time machine. If it's a rotating cylinder of neutronium then it's big enough to define its own position in the universe. If you're using a traditional wormhole then the positions of the endpoints are well known and are presumably in useful locations. By the way, I would hate to be the inventor of the first wormhole-based time machine since as soon as it comes on line it will produce a flood of future time travelers all eager to get as far back into the past as possible.

For other types of time machine, you can always design it so that you are still bound by gravity while in transit and will be pulled along with any nearby planets. It might require you to start from orbit and do some course corrections after arrival, but at least you won't be drifting in interstellar space or inside whatever new mountain range has been put there by plate tectonics.
 
2013-04-11 02:01:23 PM  
How would he know what the Chinese would do....
oh wait.
 
2013-04-11 02:02:48 PM  
I predict that this won't end well...
 
2013-04-11 02:03:24 PM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: ... That's not a Time Machine.  That's a prototype for Dr. Hugo Pinero's rig (see 'Life-Line', by Robert A. Heinlein).


:-)

Leaving happy.
 
2013-04-11 02:21:10 PM  

brantgoose: FTA:  "The device can predict the future in a print out after taking readings from the touch of a user, he told the Fars state newsagency." (my emphasis)


Relevant: upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-11 02:25:33 PM  
HA!!! We beat them to it!

morphemedictionary.com

thinkprogress.org
 
2013-04-11 02:27:19 PM  
that would make him the second non-Brazillian person to travel back in time.
 
2013-04-11 02:29:52 PM  

give me doughnuts: Nicholas D. Wolfwood: ... That's not a Time Machine.  That's a prototype for Dr. Hugo Pinero's rig (see 'Life-Line', by Robert A. Heinlein).

:-)

Leaving happy.


Me, too.

Also thinks Bob's family should sue for royalties.
 
2013-04-11 02:38:02 PM  
It's a kindle that reads current events from modernized civilizations.
 
2013-04-11 02:49:01 PM  
s24.postimg.org
 
2013-04-11 02:49:10 PM  

durbnpoisn: I would be really neat if someone could invent a time machine. But there is one problem that really throws the whole thing into the air... Nothing in the universe is sitting fixed in position. If you jumped any direction in time, it would be completely unknowable to determine WHERE you would end up. The planet, the sun, the galaxy, all would be in different places. You would likely find yourself if empty outer space, billions of miles from anything.


Time travel does not work like that. At least, not as far as we know.

Every physically plausible time travel mechanism so far proposed has one important thing in common. They all involve a continuous path in spacetime, not any sort of discontinuous "jump" where you vanish from one point in spacetime and reappear at another point in spacetime. Your local spacetime always advances smoothly and continuously, from your point of view. It's just that your spacetime is curved relative to somebody elses, such that (for example) you arrive at the "future" sooner than they do. Or if your path is sufficiently curved, in the past.

Here's an analogy that might help: imagine that you're driving north on I95 (or the M1, if you're in England), and for our purposes "north" is going to play the equivalent of "forward in time". Normally, you and all the cars around you are traveling at the same speed, and your clocks remain synchronized. But then you take an exit, follow the off-ramp all the way around, and rejoin back where you left. Meanwhile, the cars you were previously level with have moved on, and you are now "at the same time as" a bunch of cars that were previously in your past (i.e. behind you). You were traveling continuously and -- from your point of view -- forwards the whole time, and experienced nothing weird, but because your road (spacetime) curved, you ended up in the past. (A similar analogy for time travel to the future would be for the highway to take a big curve, and for you to cut across on some side road).

Another way to say this is: As far as we know, time travel is not a feature of a device, it's an attribute of spacetime -- in particular, of the curvature of spacetime. So every object that is in that space and that time follows the same curve [modulo relative motion...] -- there is no sense in which you can "jump" from one time and space to a different time and the same space. (In fact, for that sentence to even make sense would required some absolute framework of objective space that you remain "in the same place" in, and as Relativity tells us, there is no such thing).

The confusion can be extremely hard to shake, though, because it's very hard to think of spacetime as curved (including the "time" part), even for people who have grokked the idea of space being curved. But the two are irredeemably entangled, and when you move, you move in spacetime, not space alone.

In other words, if a "time machine" existed, it would be a machine for warping spacetime so that you could travel through it differently relative to surrounding spacetimes; not a machine for discontinuously jumping through time. In our analogy above, the time machine is the road, not the car.
 
2013-04-11 02:59:25 PM  

mrlewish: Made up story by The Telegraph. Guarantee there is no Iranian that claims to have invented a time machine. These stories are put to to make your enemy look silly.


Lies. I say we start a photoshop contest for what an iranian time machine might look like.
Its supposed to be breifcase sized so a camel with a flux capacitor is out.
 
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