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(Mirror.co.uk)   "Sounds good my man, seeya soon, ill tw_____________"   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 133
    More: Dumbass, Sounds Good, Alexander Heit, University of Northern Colorado, bus drivers  
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10154 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2013 at 12:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-11 01:41:33 PM

ransack.: Human brains aren't designed to perceive things moving at highway speeds. Nothing in nature goes 70 mph. Your brain is feeble and it takes 100% of your attention and cognition to even move your car in a straight line. Pay attention to what you're doing, you freak-asset chimpanzee.


Rumors persist that something called a "cheetah" exists, but no human has ever seen one, or at least not survived to tell of it.

Actually, the human brain seems to handle the simultaneous equations which are needed for 70 MPH pretty well. That's why we can drive 400 miles on these roads which only have a few inches of clearance on each side.

This problem, however, is due to someone not keeping their brain on the road long enough to avoid keeping their brain from being on the road.
 
2013-04-11 01:43:08 PM

doglover: coldcuts: auto-correct

Who uses auto correct?


Someone driving an auto mobile.  Duh.
 
2013-04-11 01:49:46 PM

Gig103: I call FAKE. He presumably got in a crash while responding to that at 5:16, but at 7:13 a family member thought to check his phone and had the presence of mind to take a photo of it?  And don't say it was the next day, because even if it was at 100% charge when he crashed, no smart phone lasts 26 hours before dying.


The kid's phone is at 5%. My first gen iPad retains the battery just fine so long as I'm not using it. Hell, it'll last more than 48 hours if I don't touch it. And I charge my iPhone every third day because I just don't use it that much. There's no reason to think this wasn't the next night.
 
2013-04-11 01:54:41 PM
Came to say your son was meeting up for a drug deal (or gay sex), glad to see that's already been covered.
 
2013-04-11 01:57:56 PM
ransack.: jjorsett: doglover: We have to ban these dangerous automatic transmissions. A traditional clutch is all you ever need.

True. If he'd been driving a manual tranny, he'd have had no free hands with which to text.

If he was smoking a cigarette while driving a manual with no power steering, he would be the safest driver on earth.


You just described me in my 79 Celica GT 5sp.
 
2013-04-11 02:07:24 PM
gambitsgirl: darklingscribe: Nutsac_Jim: how do people receive all these unfinished texts?  Does the phone know it is in a car wreck and hit send?

The text was found unsent on his phone in the wreckage.

I wish articles like this gave more details on the crash itself. As it is written now it seems he drifted into an oncoming lane, realized what was happening and overcorrected.

It wasnt this exact one but maybe this will help. My friend, a firefighter, was called to one like this Saturday and he finished the story for me....

... So she was texting and drifted left. She didn't even know the Doolie hauling the horse trailer was there when her Accord hit it in the fortified front end crumpling the driver compartment into a flat surface. The force of the engine crushing her splattered her into the back seat so he had to quite literally scoop what was left out of the car after he used the jaws to cut open the crumpled remains. Thank God her 5-MONTH-OLD was in the right side of the car and in a child seat so they just hosed her off and sent her to the hospital where she was ok.


I saw a car up ahead of me swerving as I was driving down the highway, I knew the girl driving was texting. As I was finally able to pass I see a baby in the right rear seat, then I see her texting away with no worries, but I had to pass fast since she was still swerving. I spent about a minute ahead of her, keeping the same speed, and motioning with my hands over and over to stop texting. I saw some hand gestures from her, hopefully she got the point eventually.
 
2013-04-11 02:14:02 PM

tuna fingers: Hey, that's my alma mater!

Go Bears!

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x194]


Same! From what I can remember ...
 
2013-04-11 02:15:32 PM

peasants_are_revolting: Umm, yeah, I'd probably opt for the Sad tag.


You're lucky Subby didn't go for the Asssssssinine tag!
 
2013-04-11 02:26:13 PM
it's always farking email for me. I swear it's going to kill me but I have to read every one because it could be an ORION alert for some farking critical system that would cause the end of the world if it wasn't fixed at the exact moment I got the email..
 
2013-04-11 02:26:49 PM

thisisyourbrainonFark: tuna fingers: Hey, that's my alma mater!

Go Bears!

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x194]

Same! From what I can remember ...


Yeah?
I graduated in 92.  You?
 
2013-04-11 02:27:41 PM

ransack.: Russ1642: ransack.: Zombie DJ: Ill Tw

W is next to E on the keyboard.

I'll text you was probably it.

Yeah man I've been in these conversations and they were totally meeting at the mall parking lot to deliver a quarter of Alaskan Thunderfark/Headband chronic. A worthy cause, but one shouldn't look at screens while driving. Human brains aren't designed to perceive things moving at highway speeds. Nothing in nature goes 70 mph. Your brain is feeble and it takes 100% of your attention and cognition to even move your car in a straight line. Pay attention to what you're doing, you freak-asset chimpanzee.

Quite a few things in nature go 70 mph.

Predators, I mean. Things looking for you. Not pyroclastic flows or lightning. I mean animals on the veldt.



Umm...cheetahs, peregrine falcons and sailfish would like a word.....
 
2013-04-11 03:05:47 PM

Cold_Sassy: peasants_are_revolting: I know this is Fark, but I might have gone with the Sad tag.

What if this person killed one of your family members whilst texting and driving?  Would you still feel the same?


What if someone had raped and murdered Kitty Dukakis would you still feel the same?

/old, but not obscure
 
2013-04-11 03:11:50 PM

umad: pedobearapproved: Trail of Dead: doglover: coldcuts: auto-correct

Who uses auto correct?

Seriously

people that don't want their texts to look like "hwy in th ehigghway abouy yo cimre meet yiu"

Oh, so people who don't know how to type or spell. We call those "morons."


you've used a modern cell phone before right? You are aware that they don't have a physical keyboard and that if you don't have fingers the size of a small child there is a good chance you'll be hitting the letters beside the ones you want about a quarter of the time.
 
2013-04-11 03:47:00 PM
I'm sure it was a super-important text. I mean, it'd have to be, to do it while driving at a high rate of speed on the highway.
 
2013-04-11 03:51:19 PM

Nytfall: Nobody brought this up yet?  What the hell is a "horror smash"?


LOL, I noticed that, too.

It's British for "farking horrible motor vehicle accident." You know the Brits and their goofy slang.
 
2013-04-11 03:53:38 PM

gambitsgirl: darklingscribe: Nutsac_Jim: how do people receive all these unfinished texts?  Does the phone know it is in a car wreck and hit send?

The text was found unsent on his phone in the wreckage.

I wish articles like this gave more details on the crash itself. As it is written now it seems he drifted into an oncoming lane, realized what was happening and overcorrected.

It wasnt this exact one but maybe this will help. My friend, a firefighter, was called to one like this Saturday and he finished the story for me....

... So she was texting and drifted left. She didn't even know the Doolie hauling the horse trailer was there when her Accord hit it in the fortified front end crumpling the driver compartment into a flat surface. The force of the engine crushing her splattered her into the back seat so he had to quite literally scoop what was left out of the car after he used the jaws to cut open the crumpled remains. Thank God her 5-MONTH-OLD was in the right side of the car and in a child seat so they just hosed her off and sent her to the hospital where she was ok.


Dualie. As in, dual wheels (per axle side). Unless a WWII USAF cadet was towing the horse trailer.
 
2013-04-11 03:55:11 PM

CapeFearCadaver: booger42: Rhypskallion: abhorrent1: Good. Fark people that text and drive. They should all meet this fate.

Totally.  I am more scared of texting drivers than drunk drivers.

Ditto

/Ditto is the new THIS

So... we've come full circle....


So it has come to ditto then...
 
2013-04-11 04:00:04 PM
I hate to sound repetitive, but if you are actually trying to pilot 2 tons of metal, plastic and glass, Lord knows how fast, while typing on something the size of a pack of Marlboros that - bonus: has a PHONE in it - your head is so far up your ass you can probably chew your own food twice and I can only hope that WHEN you turn yourself into a can of creamed corn, that you don't take anybody with you.
 
2013-04-11 04:01:39 PM
In my 30+ years behind the wheel, IMHO texting while driving is a worse problem than drunk driving ever was.  I see it a lot more, and a lot worse, as in...people drifting into oncoming traffic.
 
2013-04-11 04:05:21 PM

Nytfall: Nobody brought this up yet?  What the hell is a "horror smash"?


I'm here for the Halloween gangbang.
 
2013-04-11 04:08:20 PM
www.nobodygoeshere.com
 
2013-04-11 04:16:21 PM

bunner: I hate to sound repetitive, but if you are actually trying to pilot 2 tons of metal, plastic and glass, Lord knows how fast, while typing on something the size of a pack of Marlboros that - bonus: has a PHONE in it - your head is so far up your ass you can probably chew your own food twice and I can only hope that WHEN you turn yourself into a can of creamed corn, that you don't take anybody with you.


Really.  Wasn't the telephone invented so you didn't have to write, you know, notes?
 
2013-04-11 04:20:10 PM

Old Man Winter: [www.nobodygoeshere.com image 850x524]


and then she ate her?
 
2013-04-11 04:27:40 PM

Cold_Sassy: Really.  Wasn't the telephone invented so you didn't have to write, you know, notes?


I can't wait until teh kidz0rs start using this at 50 MPH, cause "it is so teh 1337".
 
2013-04-11 04:28:08 PM

pedobearapproved: umad: pedobearapproved: Trail of Dead: doglover: coldcuts: auto-correct

Who uses auto correct?

Seriously

people that don't want their texts to look like "hwy in th ehigghway abouy yo cimre meet yiu"

Oh, so people who don't know how to type or spell. We call those "morons."

you've used a modern cell phone before right? You are aware that they don't have a physical keyboard and that if you don't have fingers the size of a small child there is a good chance you'll be hitting the letters beside the ones you want about a quarter of the time.


My modern cell phone has this nifty feature where I can turn it sideways and the keyboard becomes much bigger. Sounds like you need to get an upgrade.
 
2013-04-11 04:55:47 PM

Old Man Winter: [www.nobodygoeshere.com image 850x524]


My sister is pictured in a meme???
 
2013-04-11 05:59:55 PM

Gig103: I call FAKE. He presumably got in a crash while responding to that at 5:16, but at 7:13 a family member thought to check his phone and had the presence of mind to take a photo of it?  And don't say it was the next day, because even if it was at 100% charge when he crashed, no smart phone lasts 26 hours before dying.


More likely it was the police photographing evidence shortly after the crash, making it just about 2 hours after the crash.  That purple you see is rubber gloves.  2 hours without auto-locking?  Maybe he had auto-lock off, or no password protection.
 
2013-04-11 06:11:04 PM

Gig103: I call FAKE. He presumably got in a crash while responding to that at 5:16, but at 7:13 a family member thought to check his phone and had the presence of mind to take a photo of it?  And don't say it was the next day, because even if it was at 100% charge when he crashed, no smart phone lasts 26 hours before dying.


My smartphone will last almost the whole weekend as long as I have a good signal (so it's not trying hard to  find one) and I keep all data (4G and WiFi) turned off.
 
2013-04-11 06:56:19 PM

tuna fingers: thisisyourbrainonFark: tuna fingers: Hey, that's my alma mater!

Go Bears!

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x194]

Same! From what I can remember ...

Yeah?
I graduated in 92.  You?


'96. I don't miss the meat-rendering plant smell.
 
2013-04-11 07:25:08 PM

peasants_are_revolting: I know this is Fark, but I might have gone with the Sad tag.


Well, it is sad that the guy was being such a dumbass.
 
2013-04-11 08:01:09 PM
I call fake. No way an iphone survived a car accident like that with little visible damage.
 
2013-04-11 09:23:05 PM

Eddie Ate Dynamite: CapeFearCadaver: booger42: Rhypskallion: abhorrent1: Good. Fark people that text and drive. They should all meet this fate.

Totally.  I am more scared of texting drivers than drunk drivers.

Ditto

/Ditto is the new THIS

So... we've come full circle....

So it has come to ditto then...



Would you prefer ibid?
 
2013-04-12 03:28:02 AM

theknuckler_33: This happened about 2 miles from my house.


FTA:  The victim was jogging against traffic when the impaired driver became distracted, veered across the road and hit her from behind.

It takes extra special talent to kill a jogger on the other side of the road.  Jeez.
 
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