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(Daily Mail)   Exhausted, sleep deprived mother of premature twins lashes out at "Breastapo" for making her feel guilty, selfish and lazy for supplementing formula for breastmilk   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 248
    More: Hero, sleep deprivation, other mother, profiteers, Dannon, recipes, supermarkets, twin daughters  
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11457 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2013 at 10:15 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-11 10:53:52 AM  

Cortez the Killer: A guy I worked was in the grocery line buying formula for his young-un. The lady behind him started going on about how breast milk is soooo much better for the baby. He turned around an looked her in the eye and said "My wife just died...thanks."

He said the color ran out of her face after that remark.

/No woman actually died in this story


A guy I worked with....I'm straight, I swear!
 
2013-04-11 10:54:05 AM  
My first kid wouldn't breast feed so he was a formula baby, second breast feeds like crazy. Both are doing just fine. The internet is the worst place to go for advice with a baby, so many "do as I did/suggest or your baby is going to be a serial killer" mom's out there. It really makes me feel sorry for new mothers, they hate and judge each other worse than any other group of women i've seen (including the teengirl squad).
 
2013-04-11 10:54:11 AM  
No one's an hero here.

You're not a superhuman mom-of-the-year for heroically breastfeeding your kids even though your breasts will becomes as sackcloth and your nipples as sandpaper; and you're not the worst person in the woooooooorld if you give the kid formula.

Anyone who comes up to you and impugns your choice should be politely told to get the FARK out of your murder-space, post-haste. Anyone who wishes to politely discuss the issue, perhaps with the motivation to hear and be heard, should be given safe passage through your murder-space for the duration of the polite discussion.

Peperony (slices) and chease.

// I do like how every parenting choice now has a full-on army on both sides willing to go to war over an MMR vaccination - that's a special kind of "I don't want to live on this planet"
 
2013-04-11 10:57:42 AM  
cdn.fearnet.com
Did someone order a Breastapo?
 
2013-04-11 10:59:02 AM  
My son will be 6 weeks old tomorrow.  My wife just simply does not produce enough milk to fill him up.  He came 3 weeks early, and has trouble latching on, so most times she just pumps and gives it to him in a bottle.  She pumps every 2-3 hours, and it isn't enough.  The Doctor said he will need an extra ounce of milk per feeding each week.  He keeps needing more, my wife keeps producing the same.  Right now he is getting probably 2/3's milk and 1/3 formula a day, with the ratio changing more to formula a little each week.  When it's 3am, and he's finished everything you just pumped yet he's still hungry, what else are you supposed to do besides get him some formula?  These dumb biatches need to STFU.
 
2013-04-11 10:59:33 AM  
The ironic part is that most of those complaining were probably bottle fed because that was the advice doctors gave when they were babies.

/coworker of mine has 3 kids which were all born several years apart. At the doctor's orders one always slept on its stomach, one always on it side and one on it's back.

//doctors don't know shiat.
/// threes
 
2013-04-11 10:59:41 AM  
There are reasons people need to use formula, none of which need to be explained to any idiot that feels the need to ask, factors including but not limited to woman's health and their ability to produce.

It took Mrs. AgentBang almost 2 weeks for her milk to come in after giving birth. The lactation consultant we saw said that we needed to do a round the clock combo formula / nurse / pump routine to kickstart the boobehs. My wife desperately wanted to only nurse, so we went through this routine every 2-2.5 hours, round the clock. Eventually it worked and we got off the formula. But we needed that formula at the start just to make sure our kid didn't, like, starve and stuff.

I will admit that before we had the baby I was confused why anyone in their right mind would not choose to breastfeed (not that I ever approached anyone, that would be rude). Going through what we did, I will never wonder again why people use formula.

Although I do know someone who said she didn't want to nurse because it interfered with her watching her programs...still not too sure about that, but I won't judge.
 
2013-04-11 11:00:43 AM  

dahmers love zombie: My son weaned himself at 6 months. Weaned HIMSELF.


So your son is gay?

/NTTAWWT
 
2013-04-11 11:01:16 AM  
Breast fed for the first year and a half, but I honestly don't care what anyone else does. Worked fine for me, worked out great for Lil Bee, he's smart as a whip, way taller than I expected, (I'm 5'4", he's over 4' at age 6), and other than a few ear infections, has been perfectly healthy. Plus.. it's free and cuts down on breast cancer risk. My grandmother died of breast cancer at 42, so I'm doing everything I can do reduce the risk.
 
2013-04-11 11:02:39 AM  

Dr Dreidel: // I do like how every parenting choice now has a full-on army on both sides willing to go to war over an MMR vaccination - that's a special kind of "I don't want to live on this planet"


Oh, great. Now you've done it. Shall we open the discussion on circumcision while we're at it?
 
2013-04-11 11:03:37 AM  
cdn.motinetwork.net

I also approve of drinking from breasts.
 
2013-04-11 11:03:42 AM  
My wife was relieved that both kids could be breast fed.  They were for 6 months then it was on to the formula.  My son had two top and two bottom teeth by that time (and they were opposite of each other...ouch) and my daughter, being the curly redheaded child she is, was violent about feeding (punching, pinching, twisting, etc..), so it was extra incentive to cut them off.

We were done with formula for both after a year (moved onto whole milk in sippy cups).

Yeah, anybody who goes out of their way to force their views on you without getting the whole story are assholes. Some people can't produce milk, and they are usually depressed about it to begin with, without you coming along and acting all high and mighty and reminding them that they can't produce milk.

On the other hand, I did know a few parents who used formula because they were lazy.  In one case, its because she didn't want to "have disfigured nipples".

/she had more problems then that
//poor kid never had a chance
 
2013-04-11 11:04:43 AM  

theorellior: Dr Dreidel: // I do like how every parenting choice now has a full-on army on both sides willing to go to war over an MMR vaccination - that's a special kind of "I don't want to live on this planet"

Oh, great. Now you've done it. Shall we open the discussion on circumcision while we're at it?


Shut.Up.
This is off to such a good start.
 
2013-04-11 11:06:31 AM  

Burr: In one case, its because she didn't want to "have disfigured nipples"


Not trying to sound like a feminist here or anything but that sounds like a damned fine reason to me.
 
2013-04-11 11:06:32 AM  

busy chillin': trotsky: I would have went all internet tough guy on them. Unless I'm feeding my kid a beer with a nipple attached, STFU.

All I would say is it better be a hop bomb; Double IPAs help 'em sleep.

/semicolon? gtfo of here


I find beer gives them gas. I use boubon. Does the trick, uses less liquid and gets them down to nap really quick. Can't use the cheap stuff though. Only top shelf for my kid.
 
2013-04-11 11:06:44 AM  
Feed yer baby's whatever the hell you want.  Unless yer vegan, because babies starving to death makes me all stabby.  I raised my youngest on a steady diet of breast milk and meat, wife caught me feeding him bbq beef ribs before he had more than 2 teeth, had him teething on pork ribs.  Boy has got a lot of muscle for a 9 year old and almost no fat.  I would say the experiment was a success.
 
2013-04-11 11:07:16 AM  
AgentBang:
It took Mrs. AgentBang almost 2 weeks for her milk to come in after giving birth. The lactation consultant we saw said that we needed to do a round the clock combo formula / nurse / pump routine to kickstart the boobehs. My wife desperately wanted to only nurse, so we went through this routine every 2-2.5 hours, round the clock. Eventually it worked and we got off the formula. But we needed that formula at the start just to make sure our kid didn't, like, starve and stuff.

So, did you like the smell of maple syrup after all that?

/making an assumption
 
2013-04-11 11:08:05 AM  
I literally lost my shiat one night while I was pouring the defrosted breast milk and I spilled the entire thing.  I was in tears.  I was pretty much crying over spilled milk.  She came in the kitchen, wondering what the fuss was about.  (I have a GODDAMMIT MOTHERfarkER!! kind of temper over small things).  Reassured me it was OK, and I mixed a batch of formula.  I knew how hard she was working to get that stuff out.  She was stressed from returning to work 2 weeks after the birth, and I was so at a loss as to help her depression over her drying up at 4 weeks.  I didn't care about the expensive breast pump. I knew that formula was just fine.  I knew she was trying so hard and it killed her that it just wasn't working.

One time, some spilled and got in my mouth.  I...I tried some.  It was...not bad.

Kudos to all you Mom's out there.  Yeah, we are on your rollercoaster of pregnancy, birth and what follows.  But at least we aren't the actual rollercoaster you are.  I wonder what kind of assholes men would turn out to be if were were the ones getting pregnant.

/only skimmed article.
 
2013-04-11 11:08:36 AM  
Breastfeeding is good.

The breast nazis that demand you breastfeed until your kid stops all by themselves have children that tell ask for left over right boob and feel the need to shame you if your kid weened themselves earlier than 4 can shut up any time now.

//I know far too many breastfeeding extremists.
 
2013-04-11 11:09:17 AM  

Splish: SoupJohnB: This is what makes the WIC Program and the infant formula companies "strange bedfellows" in the U.S.  The nutritionists preach "Breast is Best," but the alternative provided is a one-year supply of free top shelf "artificial baby milk."

/Yes, I know that there are practical reasons for a woman to chose bottle over breast

They provide additional grocery benefits to women who breastfeed.  Not a dollar to dollar equivalency, bbut formula is ridiculously expensive, so really you'll come out ahead if you're breastfeeding.  The other side of that is why you'll also see people trying to sell formula on the resale market.


That's definitely the upside: Moms receive good groceries from WIC, both during and after pregnancy.  It makes them healthier, regardless of what they "choose" to do, as I meant to say.

/But yeah, don't get me started on selling any surplus formula online
 
2013-04-11 11:09:53 AM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: I'd just like to take this moment to give a special "fark you" to the old crone who came up to me while I was with my daughter in a café and hissed, "I hope that's breast milk in that bottle."


he's probably dead by now.

/it can happen
 
2013-04-11 11:10:40 AM  

phrawgh: If the Lord had intended breastfeeding in public, He wouldn't have made it a sin.


My new keyboard! crap
 
2013-04-11 11:12:03 AM  
All I saw was this...

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-04-11 11:12:45 AM  
These people suck. When my kid was 6 days old, a family tragedy happened and my breastmilk dried up overnight. The doctor assured me it was normal b/c of the stress etc. I got so much flack from people b/c of it. When I had my second child four years later, my milk never came in. People asked me in restaurants, at malls, anywhere in general why I wasn't breastfeeding. When I would tell them, the most common response was, "You need to try harder. You're taking the lazy way out." My husband usually responded after that but FARK YOU BOOB NAZIS! It still bothers me.
 
2013-04-11 11:13:32 AM  
Sheesh, it's just formula. It's not like she was vaccinating the kid.
 
2013-04-11 11:14:23 AM  
Because breast feeding laws are totally the same as the secret police who helped round up and exterminate six million Jews.
 
2013-04-11 11:14:33 AM  
All the anger and outrage from these mothers is simply their guilt innapropriately expressed.
 
2013-04-11 11:14:42 AM  
When the wife had the boy, she tried and tried to breastfeed, she put that boy on her 24/7 it seemed like. When she wasn't feeding, she was trying to pump. In the end, she just couldn't make any real volume and he wasn't interested (even the "breastapo" couldn't make it work). Less than 1 month in we went from supplementing with formula to straight up formula.

The boy is now 10+ months old, healthier than any kid ever, active as hell, 90% on all the charts, sleeps through the night, plays gently with the cats, is eating big boy food by himself, and is totally happy all the time.

Whatever benefits breastfeeding has over formula are nothing compared to what even slightly more involved parenting can bring to the table.
 
2013-04-11 11:16:53 AM  
I was amazed at the 'advice' we got from complete strangers when the wife was pregnant and in the first 6 months or so after the kid was born.  I was out with the wife for dinner when she was carrying our first, and she orders an apple juice and soda water.  It looks like white wine, so they brought it in a wine glass...  Three women commented on the 'wine' and how no amount of alcohol is safe for a fetus during the course of our meal.  Blah, blah, blah.  What amazed me is these folks we didn't know expected an explanation beyond "How about you STFU and get back to your table before I call the manager and have you thrown out?"  Worse, my wife felt the need to explain and defend herself.  I had to cut her off and tell her 'It's none of their business what's in your glass."  In most cases the guy with them looked horribly embarrassed by their partners meddling.  After that I'd always order her apple juice and soda just to troll the busybodies.

Neither kid breastfed well and she got a lot of 'advice' about that and guilt when we just went with formula.  She was near tears one time on the phone with a 'friend' about the issue.  "Formula is tantamount to child abuse" was the way the discussion started...  I just took the handset from her, told the friend 'It's not your concern what we feed our kid, screw off.' and hung up the phone..  Women are truly horrible creatures in a group.
 
2013-04-11 11:18:33 AM  
Three kids, 9, 5 and 2, all healthy, no allergies or cancer or homicidal tendencies, which is shocking since they were raised on formula. The convenience of nursing/lack of sterilizing/no STUPID farkING BOTTLES WITH MORE PARTS THAN A GODDAMN SPACE SHUTTLE/antibodies and stuff being passed to the kid, sure, it's great. However, it isn't like you're the devil if you use formula.

The most frustrating part is farknut can't coont piece of shiat nazi assholes who go on and on and on about it without ever one farking time mentioning the myriad possible reasons (most of which seem to have been covered here) that some mothers can't do it. You're not a worthless mom if you can't nurse your kid. They're still alive and all, ya know, because you're taking care of them and being a mom. Some people can't get the greater good (the greater...good) of that into their tiny farking minds.

The people who seem to be the most militant about it seem to mostly use it as an excuse to stand on a soapbox and berate other people or as a good cause for attention whoring. Either way, how does that show any understanding or compassion for moms who are really struggling with it? Christ, this farking subject....sorry.

Also lulz @ breastapo.
 
2013-04-11 11:19:31 AM  
my children 5 and 7 were on formula from the day they were born, my wife never wanted to breast feed. guess what boob feeder nazi's, both are prefectly healthy, both very intelligent, my daughter is actually ahead of her year for school, both have slept whole nights from about 3 months on. Stop trying to make women feel bad for using formula, you are not all earth mommas driving vw buses, we knew slamming jack and coke the night you got pregnant
 
2013-04-11 11:20:29 AM  

what_now: When I was in a Wal Mart in Central Florida (let that sink in for a while) a woman with three filthy children started talking to me. My friend, who was one of those "Awww...babies" types, asked how old the littlest one was. Answer. 8 months. I asked what was in the bottle. Answer: root beer.

So you know. Worse thinks that formula


Just out of curiosity, do you remember where the Walmart was?

/Central Floridian.
 
2013-04-11 11:22:07 AM  
My kids were all formula-fed, because their mother was on medications that would pass into the breast milk.

So, there are circumstances where breast milk is NOT the best option.

/The more you know.
 
2013-04-11 11:22:55 AM  

Flakeloaf: Sheesh, it's just formula. It's not like she was vaccinating the kid.


Well played.
 
2013-04-11 11:24:55 AM  

dahmers love zombie: God Is My Co-Pirate: I'd just like to take this moment to give a special "fark you" to the old crone who came up to me while I was with my daughter in a café and hissed, "I hope that's breast milk in that bottle."

This is one of the situations in life where "go fark yourself, biatch" is not only an acceptable response, it's actually the preferred one.

What IS it with some people?  Yes, breast milk is better than formula, especially for the first few months.  But for fark's sake, there's a hundred different reasons why you might see a stranger giving formula to their kid.  And in the final analysis, guess what -- even if it's because they're being "selfish" -- it's none of your farking business!  Sure, if you see them diluting the formula with vodak, that might be worth a mention to the appropriate authorities, but "using baby formula" is not child abuse, and bothering a stranger (who may have a perfect medical reason for bottle feeding) about it is simply reprehensible.

My daughter breast-fed from my wife for quite a while.  My son weaned himself at 6 months.  Weaned HIMSELF.  So should my wife have intentionally withheld anything but breastmilk from a child who was so active, and growing so fast, that he simply needed more food?  And how would that be less "cruel" than formula feeding?

There are multiple sides to this issue. My sister in law's due date is in May.  She's already told us that she has no intention of breastfeeding because she doesn't want her stupid-looking fake titties to become "ugly".  My sister-in-law is an idiot who should have been sterilized at puberty, but that's a whole other issue.  At this moment in time, and for women in this culture, you can choose to bottle-feed, and it's "fine".  Not optimal, but "fine"  We don't get to insist that other people raise their children perfectly,  If so, Honey Boo Boo would be a reality CRIME show.

OK, done babbling.   Hopefully this will be an amusing thread.


My wife has done that before, because one of these mothers told her she was a bad mother for allowing our kid to wean himself at 7 or so months.  Allowing is not what happened.  And we worried about it.  We went with it though, and he's a great, precocious little kid.
 
2013-04-11 11:25:41 AM  

what_now: When I was in a Wal Mart in Central Florida (let that sink in for a while) a woman with three filthy children started talking to me. My friend, who was one of those "Awww...babies" types, asked how old the littlest one was. Answer. 8 months. I asked what was in the bottle. Answer: root beer.

So you know. Worse thinks that formula


It makes it more hilarious to me when I imagine the woman's response sounded like "Rut Bare" for root beer.

/Only been to Florida once
//It was Disney World so doesn't count
 
2013-04-11 11:26:08 AM  

Cortez the Killer: Cortez the Killer: A guy I worked was in the grocery line buying formula for his young-un. The lady behind him started going on about how breast milk is soooo much better for the baby. He turned around an looked her in the eye and said "My wife just died...thanks."

He said the color ran out of her face after that remark.

/No woman actually died in this story

A guy I worked with....I'm straight, I swear!



Well, if he's gay you should give him a BJ for being that brilliant.
 
2013-04-11 11:26:16 AM  

Altair: Could someone explain this nonsense to a 30 yr old stoner with no kids?  Please don't make me Google breast feeding news.


When you have kids you'll rapidly find that an inordinate number of people, many of them strangers who know nothing of your circumstances, can't restrain themselves from foisting highly judgmental advice onto you regarding every aspect of parenting imaginable.

IMO you've got to develop a 'haters gonna hate' attitude and do what you believe is best for your kid.
 
2013-04-11 11:27:27 AM  
Nothing wrong with a little formula. Contrary to popular belief, a newborn baby does not always latch and eat. My brother and I were bottle fed. I have asthma, he does not.

My daughter was breast fed about 75-80%. Knock wood but she's had the sniffles about twice in 2.5 years.

Of course that will change next winter when she is in school.
 
2013-04-11 11:28:37 AM  
If you live long enough, you will see everything old become new again.  Within my lifetime, the notion of breastfeeding children was considered quaint.  Folks who couldn't afford formula would breastfeed but they weren't doing the best thing for their babies - feeding them a formula that was scientifically developed to be the ideal nutrition for babies.  Not to mention that a woman couldn't be totally liberated if she was tied down to having a leech attached to her boobs every couple hours.  How on earth could she pursue her career with that nonsense going on?  So now we've come full circle again.
 
2013-04-11 11:30:54 AM  

what_now: When I was in a Wal Mart in Central Florida (let that sink in for a while)


Yeah - Christ, was that your community service sentence or something?
 
2013-04-11 11:31:24 AM  

busy chillin': trotsky: I would have went all internet tough guy on them. Unless I'm feeding my kid a beer with a nipple attached, STFU.

All I would say is it better be a hop bomb; Double IPAs help 'em sleep.


When my older son was about 18 months old, he suddenly became very interested in my beer. For those of you who don't have kids, at that age, they look all discombobulated and toddler-y, but can move like ninjas if you're not ever vigilant and there's something they want. Especially if it's something they shouldn't have.

So, if I got up to pee while watching a ballgame, and didn't remember to put my glass somewhere high, I'd come back to the lad trying to down a pint.

Then I got smart. I bought a super hop-bombed IPA, poured myself a glass, and waited. Sure enough, the kid swiped my glass and took himself a huge drink. I was able to grab the glass before he dropped it, and the look of betrayal on his face was priceless. It broke him of that behavior, immediately.
 
2013-04-11 11:31:49 AM  

theorellior: One of my friends is still dealing with guilt issues about breastfeeding, and her kid is almost 18 months. She was on FB worrying about her supply and I'm like, "Your snowflake is walking, talking and eating whatever she can stuff in her gob. It's about time to just put the titty away and get on with your life." Of course, I didn't actually post that comment.


I think breastfeeding is fine, if you can (the kids are six feet and taller, no health issues, perfectly fit, and they never saw anything BUT bottles), but when the teeth come in, isn't that nature's way of saying, "Hey! Feed me REAL food now!"?
 
2013-04-11 11:32:42 AM  
My son was not breast fed. He graduated valedictorian of his class.
 
2013-04-11 11:33:30 AM  
I want nothing to do with children, but since I had a breast reduction (best decision I ever made) and various lumps taken out of my breasts, I no longer have the plumbing to make breastmilk (which is awesome in my book, but that's me).  If someone makes snide comments to you, I would just say, very loudly, "Since I had to have a double mastectomy to beat my breast cancer, I cannot physically breastfeed.  Do you make a career out of harassing cancer survivors?"  So what if it's a lie?  Just knock them down a few pegs.  What you feed your kid is your business and nobody else's.
 
2013-04-11 11:33:38 AM  
Not sure when this fuss started over formula verses breast milk, but I suspect it had something to do with the Yuppies in the 80s.

I recall when formula was the best thing since peanut butter. All through the 50's and 60's, Mom's formula fed their babies, after giving them that first bit of breast milk which contains that massive dose of natural stuff to kick start their immune systems.

I recall pans on the stove warming bottles at all hours of the day and night for infants and Mom's at stores giving screaming little monsters bottles to shut them up. I recall the big discussions of bottles and nipples and later, bottles with plastic liners that could be used, removed and tossed out.

Physicians extolled the virtues of formula.

Of course, the majority of the formula of the time was made in the USA. Nothing came in from China. We didn't know the Chinese manufacturers would basically dump in anything laying around as cost cutting fillers and then lie about it.
My siblings were all formula raised. So was I. They all have college degrees, families, good jobs and two have kids. One was born a premi, but he's today a weight lifting black belt. (I suspect the formula had no adverse affect on him.) One retired from a police force -- as Captain and NEVER had to fire his weapon in the line of duty. My sister is ultra smart, married a physician, worked for the local mayor and now works to get grants to help AIDS victims.

I worked in the medical and psychiatric fields. I'm not overweight. All of us kids were Scouts. All of us were physically active as kids. None of us have a criminal record.

So, I figure the formula was just fine.

I started hearing about breast feeding Nazis years ago and figured they were full of shiat. Somewhere about the time Yuppies introduced the $5.00 cup of coffee and started pushing BMWs.
 
2013-04-11 11:34:54 AM  

Cybernetic: what_now: When I was in a Wal Mart in Central Florida (let that sink in for a while) a woman with three filthy children started talking to me. My friend, who was one of those "Awww...babies" types, asked how old the littlest one was. Answer. 8 months. I asked what was in the bottle. Answer: root beer.

So you know. Worse thinks that formula

Just out of curiosity, do you remember where the Walmart was?

/Central Floridian.


It could be every Walmart simultaneously.
 
2013-04-11 11:35:15 AM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: I'd just like to take this moment to give a special "fark you" to the old crone who came up to me while I was with my daughter in a café and hissed, "I hope that's breast milk in that bottle."


Nothing like having a baby in hand to make strangers feel entitled to biatch at you for any and every choice.

My sister was breastfeeding in the lounge in the women's restroom in Nordstrom's and someone chewed her out for not doing that in private.  As if being in a women's restroom isn't enough, you need to lock yourself in a stall lest you give a nasty old lady any excuse to snipe.

Nasty people don't need a real reason, they just look for the soft targets.
 
2013-04-11 11:35:35 AM  

doglover: God Is My Co-Pirate: I'd just like to take this moment to give a special "fark you" to the old crone who came up to me while I was with my daughter in a café and hissed, "I hope that's breast milk in that bottle."

Why didn't you just tell her to her wrinkly old face?

I don't get chicks, man. I just don't....


Women tend to be the most judgey busybodies ever, I'm a chick so I know.

/I feel so much more comfortable around men
 
2013-04-11 11:35:58 AM  
I would like to be attacked and accosted by the breastapo.  I would like my rights violated and my civil liberties infringed upon by the breastapo.
 
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