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(Metro)   Hamster Christ   ( divider line
    More: Weird, Easter, resurrections, paper towels, SWNS  
•       •       •

8905 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2013 at 10:25 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-04-11 10:03:06 AM  
6 votes:
He was wrapped in the Shroud of Vermin.
2013-04-11 09:52:04 AM  
6 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Did he spend 3 days in someone's anus before resurrecting?

Actually, it came out of her vagina.

The article says he was crushing an old box when the hamster's face popped out of it.
2013-04-11 08:58:29 AM  
4 votes:
Did he spend 3 days in someone's anus before resurrecting?
2013-04-11 10:41:28 AM  
3 votes:
Jesus Hamster Christ
2013-04-11 10:29:21 AM  
3 votes:
I prefer the story about the beaver killing a man.
2013-04-11 04:31:04 PM  
2 votes:
2013-04-11 11:32:40 AM  
2 votes:

brantgoose: But Jesus' real middle name is Herschel, or possibly Hymie. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

I think the H stands for Harold.
You know, "Harold be thy name?"
2013-04-11 11:31:28 AM  
2 votes:
And the Lord climbed upon his wheel, and yea, he did run very fast, and the Philistines were amazed, and asked him, Lord, what dost thou, and the Lord said, I'm running on my wheel, do I have to draw you a picture?  Also, don't eat those, they're not raisins.
2013-04-11 10:31:11 AM  
2 votes:
Glory, glory holeyluja.
Glory, glory holeyluja
Glory, glory holeyluja
His ass keeps bleeding on
2013-04-11 12:57:43 PM  
1 vote:
2013-04-11 11:38:48 AM  
1 vote:
Perhaps they thought the little guy died of the black plague?
2013-04-11 11:31:46 AM  
1 vote:

brantgoose: d23: They named him Jesus?

How do they know he is Mexican?

I read a story about a Mexican who got up at his own funeral  once. It was on a newspaper that had been used to wallpaper the wood shed of a century old farm house my Father bought because he wanted to build there some day. The other side of the chunk of papier-maché I pulled off the wall was an advert for a 1920s Packard, which was, if I recall correctly $500. This incident occurred much earlier than that. Some of the most recent newspapers were from World War II

"Resurrection" and pre-mature burial were common before modern medicine got the technology to look for brain activity, thus redefining death as a cessation of brain activiity. People would go into comas, become cold and inert, and would be assumed dead. No doubt many were buried before they could show signs of life. This lead to several centuries of legends and also devices to ensure that a mistakenly buried person could be rescued. Coffins were buried with bell-pulls or speaking tubes, or tombs were made so they could be opened from inside when closed and locked.

You still see Fark headlines on the subject because people are still buried pre-maturely and because in much of the developing world, they can't afford embalming. Embalming essentially reduces the chances of resurrection in such cases to zero, so you don't hear of many people waking up at their funerals or being buried alive in the rich world.

Evidence is accumulating that it is possible to revive the dead hours, even days after they apparently died. As long as the brain is not damaged beyond recovery, people have been revived by doctors or have spontaneously revived. Cold storage protects the brain against damage, so a mortuary might be a dead man's best friend. Drowning victims who have been revived have typically drowned in ice water.

The definition of death may have to be revised yet again. Not that anybody agrees on it any way. Just as the lifespan of premature babies is consta ...


did you jus say about Thatcher?!?
2013-04-11 11:08:37 AM  
1 vote:
2013-04-11 10:31:33 AM  
1 vote:
Time to update the Stations of the Cross.

Jesus running on a wheel.  Jesus chewing cardboard...
2013-04-11 10:19:22 AM  
1 vote:

FirstNationalBastard: Did he spend 3 days in someone's anus before resurrecting?

And it shall forever be named the Glory Hole.
2013-04-11 10:13:49 AM  
1 vote:

FirstNationalBastard: Did he spend 3 days in someone's anus before resurrecting?
2013-04-11 09:25:20 AM  
1 vote:

FirstNationalBastard: Did he spend 3 days in someone's anus before resurrecting?

Well played. +1
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