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(Russia Today)   Norks assume the position   (rt.com) divider line 77
    More: News, Patriot missile, Yonhap, Kyodo News, ballistic missiles, North Koreans, missiles  
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18997 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Apr 2013 at 12:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-04-10 10:13:45 PM
22 votes:
www.godlikeproductions.com
2013-04-11 12:52:46 AM
17 votes:

King Something: How do you say "Glass Parking Lot" in Korean?


Grass Parkyng Rot.
2013-04-10 10:08:18 PM
11 votes:
I'm not saying sea of fire, but sea of fire.

subatomicsatan.com
2013-04-11 02:02:04 AM
6 votes:
i881.photobucket.com
2013-04-11 01:26:08 AM
5 votes:
i2.kym-cdn.com
2013-04-11 01:10:52 AM
5 votes:
www.charlock.org
2013-04-11 01:29:11 AM
4 votes:
s8.postimg.org
2013-04-11 01:26:04 AM
4 votes:

armor helix: My only hope is that the the US does not end up getting involved in this nonsense.


NK will bomb Japan before dawn. NK has had an uncontrollable solanum infection crisis for the last few months. They've hidden as many healthy citizens as possible in underground tunnels, but the infected on the surface have grown exponentially and to such an extent that the military is being overwhelmed. Bombing Japan will trigger a military response from the US. NK's hope is that the US response will eliminate the walking infected so the healthy citizens can return to the surface.
2013-04-11 01:19:50 AM
4 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-11 01:19:42 AM
4 votes:
www.charlock.org
2013-04-11 01:07:52 AM
4 votes:
thechive.files.wordpress.com

/no one tell him he's using those wrong
2013-04-11 01:05:04 AM
4 votes:
If I'm the ocean, I'm getting pretty worried right about now.
2013-04-10 11:07:43 PM
3 votes:

BrieBelle00: doglover: nekom: BrieBelle00:
I believe the "Duck and Cover" method works equally as well for nuclear fallout as it does for flowing rivers of lava.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x353]

That episode was about 15 years ago. That fact is scarier to me than anything best Korea could ever say.

We old.

:(

Holy christ, I didn't realize it was  that long ago! I'd have only been 15 for about 2 months when this originally aired :-|


And if you think THAT makes you feel old, I can assure you that it only accelerates from this point forward.
Prepare to become your parents.
2013-04-10 10:42:14 PM
3 votes:

nekom: BrieBelle00:
I believe the "Duck and Cover" method works equally as well for nuclear fallout as it does for flowing rivers of lava.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x353]

That episode was about 15 years ago. That fact is scarier to me than anything best Korea could ever say.


We old.

:(
2013-04-10 10:36:52 PM
3 votes:

doglover: CaptSacto: doglover: CaptSacto: doglover: CaptSacto: Let me know when the Patriots launch.

i will.

Appreciate it. Are you in the neighborhood?

yep

Stay safe, dude.
I'm still of the opinion that this is just another Un wienie wave. They've done this sh*t before, too.
Things could get interesting if the threat appears great enough to launch the Patriots.

There's no general panic here. Business as usual. But it's making me edgy. I don't want to test my "how to survive a nuke" knowledge from those old survival manuals.


I believe the "Duck and Cover" method works equally as well for nuclear fallout as it does for flowing rivers of lava.

24.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-10 10:18:10 PM
3 votes:
Damn I was really confused for a second. "Norks" not "Snorks"
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-04-11 04:59:39 AM
2 votes:

miss diminutive: That trailer had probably the most bizarre and annoying music I've ever heard.

Was everyone in the early 70s deaf from Woodstock or was every director just trying to give their audiences migraines?


You kids and your "Production values". Back then we had crappy movies and we liked it that way. Sexploitation, Blacksploitation, goresploitation whatever. You name it, we exploited it. The whippersnapper Tarantino exploited our exploitation and he got rich off of it and people bought it as something "New". Nope, we invented that shiat back in the 70's. Some of it got shelved in the time machine but if you look you can still find a lot of them. And many are still funny as hell to watch today just in how badly made they were.


Amazon Women From Mars
Bloodsucking Freaks
BoobTube
Kentucky Fried Movie

Almost any 'B' movie from 68-77 and even some of the 'A' movies from that time period.

Watch them and revel in just how bad, yet so good, they really are.
2013-04-11 04:37:06 AM
2 votes:
tribuneofthepeople.files.wordpress.com
2013-04-11 03:55:32 AM
2 votes:

nekom: crypticsatellite: nekom: Fingers crossed it explodes on the launch pad.

I still don't get the US stance of only shooting it down if it isn't going to hit water. Apparently, these missiles have been banned by agreement. Why let them collect data on a completed flight?

I don't agree with it either. In fact, and I seem to be in the majority opinion here on Fark, I would have blown them up as soon as they started fueling them.


You spawn camping scum.
2013-04-11 03:08:30 AM
2 votes:

redsquid: When I was in 6th grade they showed The Day After on TV. If you're not familiar, this is intro enough- http://youtu.be/7VG2aJyIFrA
You can't imagine a more terrifying thing on TV for a kid. They actually had counselors come to the school the next day and spend time with each class discussing our feelings and fears.


My school had the same problem with TJ Hooker.
2013-04-11 02:40:53 AM
2 votes:

vygramul: redsquid: I know what you mean. It's like a feeling of nostalgic fear. I'm sure the Germans have a word for it.

Nostalgischeangst


But in German it means "Fear that your current invasion will end similarly to your previous invasions."
2013-04-11 02:06:53 AM
2 votes:

dai the flu: Plot twist: North Korea launches on China.


Plot twist: North Korea really just intend to sink a missile into the ocean to scare everyone a little, but it veers off course and strikes New York. Fartbama is forced to resign in disgrace and Sarah Palin automatically becomes president.

/and then accidentally nukes South Korea to get revenge
2013-04-11 02:03:27 AM
2 votes:
Shooped for your approval-

ic.pics.livejournal.com
2013-04-11 02:02:02 AM
2 votes:

shinji3i: Have you ever considered you hate sauerkraut because you were force fed it by your mother until you were 26 1/2 years old?


That's why I can't stand breast milk.
2013-04-11 01:55:40 AM
2 votes:

dai the flu: Plot twist: North Korea launches on China.


Plot twist resolution: We wake up Thursday morning to find South Korea is an island.
2013-04-11 01:48:08 AM
2 votes:

Treygreen13: farkingismybusiness: Treygreen13: farkingismybusiness: CygnusDarius: AGremlin: If this goes down, and US forces kick Nork butt up past the parallel again...shouldn't we start getting substantial discounts on Kias and Hyundais from now on?  Hell, for that matter, all South Korean products.

I could certainly do with some kimchi.

I'm pretty adventurous with food, love most Asian dishes, but I had kimchi about a decade ago and hated it. Worth revisiting even if I hate cabbage?

If you hate cabbage, it's extremely doubtful you'll learn to love kimchi.

Some friends have told me otherwise, but I don't believe them. As a kid I'd practically get nauseous every time my mom cooked sauerkraut. Hate the stuff.

IIIIITTTTT'S GOOOOOOOD FOOOORRR YOOOOUUUU


Have you ever considered you hate sauerkraut because you were force fed it by your mother until you were 26 1/2 years old? If so I have some radio stations for you to listen to.
2013-04-11 01:47:09 AM
2 votes:

vygramul: Gdalescrboz: Rincewind53 2013-04-10 10:15:09 PM
scottydoesntknow: Farking hell.
Oh please. They're not going to do jack shiat other than conduct another stupid missile test. They're not attacking anyone.

Except Japan said they would shoot it down even if it's a test

Not sure what with. That would be quite a revelation.


upload.wikimedia.org
2013-04-11 01:45:43 AM
2 votes:

dai the flu: Plot twist: North Korea launches on China.

finds out it's been dead all along.

t0.gstatic.com
2013-04-11 01:26:52 AM
2 votes:
Fish in the Sea of Japan are on high alert.
2013-04-11 01:24:47 AM
2 votes:
Fugg it!

i25.photobucket.com
2013-04-11 01:22:00 AM
2 votes:

AGremlin: If this goes down, and US forces kick Nork butt up past the parallel again...shouldn't we start getting substantial discounts on Kias and Hyundais from now on?  Hell, for that matter, all South Korean products.


Do we really need discounts on them, they are cheap already. My spare car is an 02 Accent, it's my winter mobile so I don't shiat up my nicer vehicle. Best heater in any car I have ever owned. You can tell it gets nuts freezing cold there. Thing is like farking Legolas on snow and ice too.
2013-04-11 01:18:29 AM
2 votes:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
2013-04-11 01:17:11 AM
2 votes:
assets.nydailynews.com

Oh hey. What's theeat in thuh sky?
2013-04-11 01:10:16 AM
2 votes:
Has anyone bothered to search Dennis Rodman's garage?
2013-04-11 01:00:18 AM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com

/replace dad with Best Korea's only fatass
2013-04-11 12:54:36 AM
2 votes:

Confabulat: Was it really necessary to parade them through the main square of their capital city?


It's their only paved road.
2013-04-10 11:37:44 PM
2 votes:

CaptSacto: Let me know when the Patriots launch.


With Gronk out and Welker gone, they're sticking to the running game.
2013-04-10 11:33:25 PM
2 votes:
Wolf Blitzer just said CNN's sources are expecting "multiple launches at any moment." I'm calling it right now that Kim Jong W. Un is their main source and he's trading info for pizza.
2013-04-10 10:39:00 PM
2 votes:

BrieBelle00:
I believe the "Duck and Cover" method works equally as well for nuclear fallout as it does for flowing rivers of lava.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x353]


That episode was about 15 years ago. That fact is scarier to me than anything best Korea could ever say.
2013-04-11 12:45:46 PM
1 votes:
THE SOUTH IS GONNA RISE AGAIN!!!
www.enchantedlearning.com
2013-04-11 09:31:41 AM
1 votes:
farm8.staticflickr.com
2013-04-11 08:59:05 AM
1 votes:

MythDragon: [www.blogcdn.com image 584x252]

Little does Fatty Ding-dongs know about our Super missle defense system


i183.photobucket.com
I thought Death Blossom was a measure of last resort?
2013-04-11 08:46:23 AM
1 votes:

Man On Pink Corner: Bontesla: I wouldn't put too much value in what we think we know.

[lewis.armscontrolwonk.com image 450x301]

All I know is that I'm not afraid of a nuclear attack from countries where they're pretty sure that the ground track of a missile flying between two points on a sphere is a straight line.


imageshack.us
2013-04-11 05:52:10 AM
1 votes:

Charlie Freak: Oh well, fark sleep I guess. Interestingly, I just had a twinge of the anxiety I had as a child growing up in the Cold War. Just a little, but seriously, that shiat sucked. As I listen to my kids breathe right now (they crawl into our room damn near every night), I am thankful they never had to go through that mindfark. No kid should. End this old-school pseudo-commie bullshiat blow-up-the-world propaganda so we can get back to the slow morphine drip our banks feed us.


Every last person I grew up with in the 1980s was convinced that, one way or another, we were going to live to see the world come to an end, with the only question remaining being how much it was going to hurt and how long we would suffer before we finally died.  I got it from the teachers at school, I got it from my grandparents, I got it from my parents, my aunts and uncles, my friends. We watched The Day After, When the Wind Blows and Threads in school, because for some unholy reason, the administrators thought it would be a good idea.  My history teacher was a Rapture-believing holy roller--I was ten when I came home from school one day in a massive thunderstorm after we'd gotten a rant from her about Reagan being the Antichrist and how the rapture was imminent, found my house deserted and the power and phones off, and I actually freaked because I suddenly thought that the Rapture had come and I was one of the ones left.  I spent the next four hours in a dark corner crying for me and for my dogs (I'd been told that all animals would die over the next seven years) before someone finally showed up to get me--my grandfather had been taken to the hospital and in the asses-and-elbows confusion that followed no one had thought to write a note or come to check.

It wasn't until I actually became an adult that the fear went away, because I was actually just too farking tired of being afraid anymore.  Mostly.  When stories like this float up, that little ghost of a worm that those people left deep in my soul turns over in its sleep, and a small part of me still wonders if this is going to be what kicks off the End of Everything.  Like surviving a tornado--every time the wind blows and the pressure drops for years after that, you get this urge to head for the basement.

It never quite goes away completely, does it?
2013-04-11 03:31:49 AM
1 votes:

miss diminutive: Charlie Freak: It's very much a shadow of the threat, but we all grew up with the idea that if one "red" nuclear-armed country gets into a shooting war, then we all do. I think that old line of thought and the fear that if the balloon goes up everybody will just start shooting is what is keeping me up tonight, even though it's extremely unlikely. It's interesting conversing with people who have no memory of the Cold War - you cannot believe the impact that had on our culture.

I believe that. Even the concept of communism probably has a very different meaning for me than it does for people of your generation. For me it was some antiquated thing I read about, like a loom or an ironclad, and was mainly the butt of jokes or scorn, not some menace that stood in direct opposition to Western power and threatened our very existence. Today, when I think of communism I think of starving North Koreans or Cubans driving 1950s Cadillacs.

redsquid: When I was in 6th grade they showed The Day After on TV. If you're not familiar, this is intro enough- http://youtu.be/7VG2aJyIFrA
You can't imagine a more terrifying thing on TV for a kid. They actually had counselors come to the school the next day and spend time with each class discussing our feelings and fears.
I think that constant fear shaped our psyches for several generations and explains a lot of what makes us so crazy as a nation.

Yeah, I could see that as being solid nightmare fuel. When I was a kid (maybe 8 or so) I remember watching Waterworld at a friends birthday party. It wasn't exactly disturbing, but I actually started hoarding food, toys and stuffed animals and putting them in the canoe we kept in our garage, just in case our neighbourhood ended up underwater. I remember the wtf moment when my dad discovered my stash when he was spring cleaning (apparently the concept of non-perishable food hadn't crossed my mind, so it was filled with expired yogurt and fruit roll-ups)


Mommy's little prepper? No snark- that's adorable!
2013-04-11 03:19:00 AM
1 votes:
This is like Season 4 of Lost. NK needs some new writers. You can't keep dragging this shiat on and on without paying-off some of the setups.
2013-04-11 03:13:52 AM
1 votes:

ShawnDoc: redsquid: When I was in 6th grade they showed The Day After on TV. If you're not familiar, this is intro enough- http://youtu.be/7VG2aJyIFrA
You can't imagine a more terrifying thing on TV for a kid. They actually had counselors come to the school the next day and spend time with each class discussing our feelings and fears.

Look on the bright side, the bombs took out Kansas City.


Yeah but Steve Guttenburg survived so...
2013-04-11 02:49:25 AM
1 votes:
Folks, do *not* GIS "bizarre bazaar" at work.
2013-04-11 02:43:30 AM
1 votes:

panfried: I can't believe people are even concerned about this bozo or his bottle rocket brigade. Bazaar.  It's almost as if he's part of an orchestrated  diversion.  I wonder what foxes are in whose hen house while the world focuses on this class clown.


Bazaar:

i250.photobucket.com

Bizarre:

i378.photobucket.com
2013-04-11 02:39:34 AM
1 votes:

redsquid: I know what you mean. It's like a feeling of nostalgic fear. I'm sure the Germans have a word for it.


Nostalgischeangst
2013-04-11 02:13:07 AM
1 votes:

mantabulous: dai the flu: Plot twist: North Korea launches on China.

Plot twist: North Korea really just intend to sink a missile into the ocean to scare everyone a little, but it veers off course and strikes New York. Fartbama is forced to resign in disgrace and Sarah Palin automatically becomes president.

/and then accidentally nukes South KoreaFrance to get revenge


Come on!  We're talking about Palin.
2013-04-11 02:12:29 AM
1 votes:

neongoats: Canton: doglover: Canton: I've never had kimchi,

It's good. Nothing like sour kraut. Imagine thick cut cole slaw cabbage with hot sauce instead of mayonaise as the base of the sauce. It's cold, a little spicy, and crunchy.

By itself it's kind of shiat. But when you're eating REALLY spicy foods? Oh man it's outta this world. It cools ya right down.

Okay, that does sound good. I shall go to bed dreaming of cabbage rather than global thermonuclear war. Thanks for that.

/Has read  Alas, Babylon a few too many times...

Think of barbecued armadillo caught by your trusty dachshund to go with your post-nuclear kimchi.


My dachshund is about as trustworthy as a broke crackhead.
2013-04-11 01:58:32 AM
1 votes:

rosebud_the_sled: A personal letter to Kim Il Fatf**k,

Do it so we can come in and kill you, your entire family, all the funny hat guys and divide your country up between SK and China.  Christ, you fat suck, just do it so we can eliminate you from the list of primitive dickheads that still exist on this planet.

Signed,
the rest of the world - minus Iran, Syria and Pakistan, the other turd-like cling ons Klingons dumbs**ts.


You seem upset.
2013-04-11 01:48:59 AM
1 votes:

Canton: doglover: Canton: I've never had kimchi,

It's good. Nothing like sour kraut. Imagine thick cut cole slaw cabbage with hot sauce instead of mayonaise as the base of the sauce. It's cold, a little spicy, and crunchy.

By itself it's kind of shiat. But when you're eating REALLY spicy foods? Oh man it's outta this world. It cools ya right down.

Okay, that does sound good. I shall go to bed dreaming of cabbage rather than global thermonuclear war. Thanks for that.

/Has read  Alas, Babylon a few too many times...


Think of barbecued armadillo caught by your trusty dachshund to go with your post-nuclear kimchi.
2013-04-11 01:43:36 AM
1 votes:

Your Average Witty Fark User: cameroncrazy1984: Your Average Witty Fark User: I love how NK thinks they can take on all comers.

China has told them to back off. I'm not so sure they'd actively defend them.

NK is about to get put in the corner. Spanked, and put in the corner.

Go on...

I fully support your desire for some NK strange. More power to you.

In the mean time, they're the loud mouth at the party that isn't wanted there and can't fight. We all know how that ends.


You mean that when North Korea finally passes out in its own vomit, we can all draw penises on its face?
2013-04-11 01:34:56 AM
1 votes:

farkingismybusiness: Treygreen13: farkingismybusiness: CygnusDarius: AGremlin: If this goes down, and US forces kick Nork butt up past the parallel again...shouldn't we start getting substantial discounts on Kias and Hyundais from now on?  Hell, for that matter, all South Korean products.

I could certainly do with some kimchi.

I'm pretty adventurous with food, love most Asian dishes, but I had kimchi about a decade ago and hated it. Worth revisiting even if I hate cabbage?

If you hate cabbage, it's extremely doubtful you'll learn to love kimchi.

Some friends have told me otherwise, but I don't believe them. As a kid I'd practically get nauseous every time my mom cooked sauerkraut. Hate the stuff.


IIIIITTTTT'S GOOOOOOOD FOOOORRR YOOOOUUUU
2013-04-11 01:31:18 AM
1 votes:
What type of dong is he gonna shoot off?

I'm guessing a tiny one, that sputters out way to early before hitting the climax of its trajectory and ends up disappointing us all.
2013-04-11 01:28:10 AM
1 votes:

King Something: cameroncrazy1984: Your Average Witty Fark User: I love how NK thinks they can take on all comers.

China has told them to back off. I'm not so sure they'd actively defend them.

NK is about to get put in the corner. Spanked, and put in the corner.

Go on...

After the spanking, the oral sex!


http://www.yhchang.com/CUNNILINGUS_IN_NORTH_KOREA.html

/obligatory
2013-04-11 01:27:48 AM
1 votes:
Anyone ever notice that Kim Jong Un sports the same haircut as Shia Le Boeuf in the movie Lawless? Really, it's uncanny.
2013-04-11 01:27:44 AM
1 votes:

Notabunny: armor helix: My only hope is that the the US does not end up getting involved in this nonsense.

NK will bomb Japan before dawn. NK has had an uncontrollable solanum infection crisis for the last few months. They've hidden as many healthy citizens as possible in underground tunnels, but the infected on the surface have grown exponentially and to such an extent that the military is being overwhelmed. Bombing Japan will trigger a military response from the US. NK's hope is that the US response will eliminate the walking infected so the healthy citizens can return to the surface.


Little do you know that American forces are ill-trained to fight the infected, and the returning soldiers will only spread the virus.
2013-04-11 01:20:30 AM
1 votes:
img94.imageshack.us
Not Particularly Useful Against Ter... oh wait.
2013-04-11 01:19:14 AM
1 votes:
so wait, they fueled the rocket, then moved it? Am I understanding that correctly?
2013-04-11 01:14:31 AM
1 votes:
Norks? What a bunch of dicks!

/And if any ladies from South Korea want a safe place to stay my dad converted this basement into a bomb shelter.
2013-04-11 01:10:21 AM
1 votes:

Mentat: If I'm the ocean, I'm getting pretty worried right about now.


Uchiha_Cycliste: With the NK miss-all in launch position, does anyone know what the time frame is for a launch?


They have to find someone with a book of matches to light the fuse first. Have a Snickers. It's gonna be a while.
2013-04-11 01:10:19 AM
1 votes:
i49.tinypic.com
2013-04-11 01:07:33 AM
1 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: Your Average Witty Fark User: I love how NK thinks they can take on all comers.

China has told them to back off. I'm not so sure they'd actively defend them.

NK is about to get put in the corner. Spanked, and put in the corner.

Go on...


After the spanking, the oral sex!
2013-04-11 01:04:57 AM
1 votes:
s7.postimg.org
2013-04-11 01:04:16 AM
1 votes:

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: China knows that if their yappy little dog actually bites anyone, it's getting put down.


At this point they'd likely appreciate an outside vet who'd put down the dog that shiats on the rug and pisses all over the house.
2013-04-11 01:01:35 AM
1 votes:
i781.photobucket.com
2013-04-11 12:58:26 AM
1 votes:
China knows that if their yappy little dog actually bites anyone, it's getting put down.
2013-04-11 12:56:30 AM
1 votes:

crypticsatellite: nekom: Fingers crossed it explodes on the launch pad.

I still don't get the US stance of only shooting it down if it isn't going to hit water. Apparently, these missiles have been banned by agreement. Why let them collect data on a completed flight?


Because we don't want them to collect data on our countermeasures, either.

Also, we're not totally sure if they work, and we'd look like assholes if we missed.
2013-04-11 12:56:26 AM
1 votes:

armor helix: My only hope is that the the US does not end up getting involved in this nonsense.


...END UP involved?

This whole mess has been pointed at us from the very start.
2013-04-11 12:19:38 AM
1 votes:
How do you say "Glass Parking Lot" in Korean?
2013-04-10 11:59:44 PM
1 votes:

CavalierEternal: Thats_Not_My_Baby: From a military standpoint, it must suck that your enemies know so much about what you are doing that their  media can report the position (skyward) of your missiles in a very short amount of time.

Well, when you give everyone on the planet a one-month notice about your planned military actions, it's pretty hard to get anything done unnoticed.


Really... even Google maps has been updated.
2013-04-10 11:51:57 PM
1 votes:
s24.postimg.org Come at U.S. Bro
2013-04-10 10:34:42 PM
1 votes:

make me some tea: doglover: CaptSacto: doglover: CaptSacto: Let me know when the Patriots launch.

i will.

Appreciate it. Are you in the neighborhood?

yep

Has NK actually made any specific threats toward Japan?


Much like when I'm swinging a golf club, with the Norks, oftentimes what they hit is only vaguely related to what they were aiming for.
2013-04-10 10:19:00 PM
1 votes:
www.straferight.com
 
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