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(Slate)   You ever notice how American parents raise their children like THIS, but parents from all other countries raise their children like THIS?   (slate.com) divider line 55
    More: Interesting, Americans  
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18517 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Apr 2013 at 7:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-10 07:52:25 PM
I thought that whole "quality time" bs was tossed out years ago. It's quantity time, people.
 
2013-04-10 07:59:11 PM
img.thesun.co.uk

"America? Is that you? I'm hungry."
 
2013-04-10 07:59:46 PM
It's almost as if parents who don't obsess about raising perfect kids somehow manage to raise almost-perfect kids. As if it happens easier the less you try.
 
2013-04-10 08:00:00 PM
I suspect this thread will be full of projection with a good dose of proclamations about how they "are different".
 
2013-04-10 08:00:48 PM
"Look at this wonderful calculus primer Santa got you for Christmas."

"You don't need an allowance or a job. Tell us what you need and we'll totally buy it for you."

"You really don't need to start dating until you finish a PhD."

"I don't care what you want to do in life, just be happy. Also, when are you going to take the LSAT again?"

/immigrant parents
//fark is not your personal shrink
 
2013-04-10 08:01:47 PM
The writing style is awkward and dull. I'd rather read freshman term papers.
 
2013-04-10 08:04:21 PM

meat0918: I suspect this thread will be full of projection with a good dose of proclamations about how they "are different".


And a heaping helping of "UR DOING IT WRONG".
 
2013-04-10 08:04:21 PM
how this headline sounds

www.tvworthwatching.com
 
2013-04-10 08:04:34 PM
My wife has a completely different cultural background from mine, but I haven't noticed too many differences in how we think about, and raise, our kid.

Interesting article, but it in practice it seems irrelevant.
 
2013-04-10 08:05:45 PM
i.qkme.me
 
2013-04-10 08:07:16 PM
Here's your I-Phone, you I-Pad, and I just out Sponge bob on the 95" flat screen for you baby, and here's the remote, and here's your pizza and Monster drink, and stop kicking the dog, honey, and her's your chips, and try to eat your carrots bleached in bleach this time, honey, and, no, you aren't gonna get a shot with them other kids termorrah, 'cause that causes oughtizm amd ADHDHDs and Assburner's sindrim, an' please stop kickin' th' dawg, honeychild, and here's a X-box in case ta git boreded.
Now let mommy go upstairs ith "uncle Buck" fer awhile and please stop kickin' the dawg.
 
2013-04-10 08:07:17 PM
No Big Deal, but This Researcher's Theory Explains Everything About How Americans Parent

Interesting capitalization scheme. Verbose, and verbing weirds language. Quality all around.
 
2013-04-10 08:08:15 PM

Gyrfalcon: It's almost as if parents who don't obsess about raising perfect kids somehow manage to raise almost-perfect kids. As if it happens easier the less you try.


Yes and no.  Parents need to try.. but they need to focus on making the child independent.  Not just for money, but being able to find their own answers to lifes questions.  Teach a man to fish and all that.
 
2013-04-10 08:09:53 PM
FTA:What else? Well, nothing in American parenting is anything like the concept of ng'om, which is used by the Kipsigis people in rural Kenya to describe children who are especially intelligent and responsible. This concept of intelligence, as Harkness and Super have written, highlights "aspects of social competence, including responsibility and helpfulness." These aspects, they add dryly, "have tended to be overlooked in Western formal theories of children's intelligence."


Nothing spells success like the folk practices of rural Kenya. Hell, one day one of those fellows might become a president.
 
2013-04-10 08:11:20 PM

vudukungfu: Here's your I-Phone, you I-Pad, and I just out Sponge bob on the 95" flat screen for you baby, and here's the remote, and here's your pizza and Monster drink, and stop kicking the dog, honey, and her's your chips, and try to eat your carrots bleached in bleach this time, honey, and, no, you aren't gonna get a shot with them other kids termorrah, 'cause that causes oughtizm amd ADHDHDs and Assburner's sindrim, an' please stop kickin' th' dawg, honeychild, and here's a X-box in case ta git boreded.
Now let mommy go upstairs ith "uncle Buck" fer awhile and please stop kickin' the dawg.


Do people who talk like that really have the ability to get iPhones and iPads for their kids?
 
2013-04-10 08:11:28 PM
I recently took a development psychology class from a newly graduated psychologist (she graduated from a really low-tier school) who had super dogmatic views.

Anyhow, when it came to daycare, she was a hardliner in agreeing with our textbook that daycare did not negatively affect children as long as they had "quality" attachment with their parents. I pushed the issue a bit and asked if there was any minimum amount of time a parent would have to spend with their children to achieve this quality connection, but she insisted there wasn't.

I was interested to see Sweden's focus on happiness and security. Sweden is a country you might typically associate as being further to the left of women's views on careers/raising a family, but in my experience, it's not true. They do have universal daycare in Sweden, but they're neighborhood based, and in my experience aren't used as much. Plus they have super long maternity and paternity leave and lots of time off in the summer and holidays to be with kids.They definitely value down time/family time. Of course, this is all anecdotal. I grew up in both Sweden and US, so just my observations.
 
2013-04-10 08:14:36 PM

swingerofbirches: I recently took a development psychology class from a newly graduated psychologist (she graduated from a really low-tier school) who had super dogmatic views.

Anyhow, when it came to daycare, she was a hardliner in agreeing with our textbook that daycare did not negatively affect children as long as they had "quality" attachment with their parents. I pushed the issue a bit and asked if there was any minimum amount of time a parent would have to spend with their children to achieve this quality connection, but she insisted there wasn't.

I was interested to see Sweden's focus on happiness and security. Sweden is a country you might typically associate as being further to the left of women's views on careers/raising a family, but in my experience, it's not true. They do have universal daycare in Sweden, but they're neighborhood based, and in my experience aren't used as much. Plus they have super long maternity and paternity leave and lots of time off in the summer and holidays to be with kids.They definitely value down time/family time. Of course, this is all anecdotal. I grew up in both Sweden and US, so just my observations.


They also respect and value education in a way that the US doesn't.
 
2013-04-10 08:17:09 PM
I like that the "enlightened" societies cited are Italy and Kenya. Both shining beacons of social, ethical, and governmental wisdom.
 
2013-04-10 08:17:30 PM

lostcat: vudukungfu: Here's your I-Phone, you I-Pad, and I just out Sponge bob on the 95" flat screen for you baby, and here's the remote, and here's your pizza and Monster drink, and stop kicking the dog, honey, and her's your chips, and try to eat your carrots bleached in bleach this time, honey, and, no, you aren't gonna get a shot with them other kids termorrah, 'cause that causes oughtizm amd ADHDHDs and Assburner's sindrim, an' please stop kickin' th' dawg, honeychild, and here's a X-box in case ta git boreded.
Now let mommy go upstairs ith "uncle Buck" fer awhile and please stop kickin' the dawg.

Do people who talk like that really have the ability to get iPhones and iPads for their kids?


No, Uncle Buck buys these things while Daddy is workin the mines.
 
2013-04-10 08:17:52 PM

fusillade762: meat0918: I suspect this thread will be full of projection with a good dose of proclamations about how they "are different".

And a heaping helping of "UR DOING IT WRONG".


Of course.  That goes without saying.

Additionally though, for a country that focuses on "intelligence" so much, we sure have a strong streak of anti-intellectualism here.

I wonder how the descriptions of intelligence that is sought after in our kids vary across our country.
 
2013-04-10 08:19:44 PM

lostcat: My wife has a completely different cultural background from mine, but I haven't noticed too many differences in how we think about, and raise, our kid.

Interesting article, but it in practice it seems irrelevant.


Well, it's a little overgeneralized, but it's kind of relevant in that Americans (I don't know about other cultures) who do care about child-rearing practices, are inordinately obsessed with improving their kids' intelligence. It's why you get crap like "Baby Mozart" and "Baby Einstein" to boost the little brats' IQ still in the womb, and all kinds of videos guaranteed to have them reading and writing even before they're potty-trained. There's been all kinds of different theories over the years that babies could really communicate (not just one type of cry means I'm wet and one means I want to be picked up) as early as 3 months and you could teach them sign language or even words or picture charts, depending on the psychologist.

Actual PROOF for these theories is always thin on the ground, of course; but that doesn't stop a subset of US parents from latching onto it in the quest to make their babies smarter than anyone else's. Before that was "enriched environments" when every toddler had more toys than a Toys-R-Us store, and the Sesame Street/Electric Co. era, and so forth.

Then there's the flip side, where parents of mentally disabled kids desperately want their kids to be at least as smart as everyone else, even if there's no possible chance of that. To the point you have parents of profoundly retarded children demanding their kids get advanced math and English classes. I don't know if this is a US thing, but it seems to be related to the "every kid must go to college" school of thought.
 
2013-04-10 08:20:05 PM

lostcat: vudukungfu: Here's your I-Phone, you I-Pad, and I just out Sponge bob on the 95" flat screen for you baby, and here's the remote, and here's your pizza and Monster drink, and stop kicking the dog, honey, and her's your chips, and try to eat your carrots bleached in bleach this time, honey, and, no, you aren't gonna get a shot with them other kids termorrah, 'cause that causes oughtizm amd ADHDHDs and Assburner's sindrim, an' please stop kickin' th' dawg, honeychild, and here's a X-box in case ta git boreded.
Now let mommy go upstairs ith "uncle Buck" fer awhile and please stop kickin' the dawg.

Do people who talk like that really have the ability to get iPhones and iPads for their kids?


Yeah, it's called "credit cards."
Or, "uncle Buck" at whatever the going rate is per hour.
 
2013-04-10 08:28:25 PM
I am sure this mentality is helpful for society:

1.bp.blogspot.com

Make no attempt to stamp out this behavior, mom and dad. It'll be fine.
 
2013-04-10 08:33:20 PM
I don't know much about birthin' no babies, but I can get a burp out of any tot alive.
 
2013-04-10 08:35:41 PM

SevenizGud: I am sure this mentality is helpful for society:



Make no attempt to stamp out this behavior, mom and dad. It'll be fine.


What do you mean, "mom and dad"? That IS Dad.
 
2013-04-10 08:58:41 PM
Yeah, no shiat, article writer.

Everybody's little snowflake is a farking Einstein.

I have news for 99% of you parents out there: your kid is most likely average at best. Only the top 1% of intelligent kids, by definition, are actually naturally intelligent.

So accept that, my friends. Your kid is a dumbass.
 
2013-04-10 09:00:14 PM

ModernLuddite: I like that the "enlightened" societies cited are Italy and Kenya. Both shining beacons of social, ethical, and governmental wisdom.


Right on, man. Was just listening this morning to a Planet Money podcast about a Kenyan who scammed their economy out of 10% of their GDP in the early 90s, got religion (Praise Jebus!), and has been trying for a seat in their Parliament. The Kenyan government was amazingly stupid to be conned by this guy.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2013/0 3/26/175382519/episode-447-the-c o n-man-who-took-down-his-own-country-th en-ran-for-office

Italy...Mafia...Berlusconi...'nuff said.
 
2013-04-10 09:00:36 PM
When you look at the black race, black people are very gifted in what we call worship and celebration. A lot of us like to dance, and if you go to black churches, you see people jumping up and down, because they really get into it.

White people were blessed with the gift of structure and organization. You guys do a good job of building businesses and things of that nature and you know how to tap into money pretty much better than a lot of people do around the world.

Hispanics are gifted in family structure. You can see a Hispanic person and they can put 20 or 30 people in one home. They were gifted in the family structure.

When you look at the Asians, the Asian is very gifted in creation, creativity and inventions. If you go to Japan or any Asian country, they can turn a television into a watch. They're very creative. And you look at the Indians, they have been very gifted in the spirituality.
 
2013-04-10 09:16:50 PM
Huh, I just skimmed TFA, but that totally wasn't what I expected.

I expected americans to be ridiculed for keeping their kids in cages ("cribs"), and for not sleeping with their children at night (in the nonsexual way that only the third world can manage, you filthy pedophiles). But what do we know, we probably didn't recieve enough love in our early childhoods.
 
2013-04-10 09:28:45 PM
What a lot of euro-hipsterism.
 TL;DR
 
2013-04-10 09:41:51 PM

MemeSlave: What a lot of euro-hipsterism.

 TL;DR


Ahhhh TL;DR... the 'I'm bright enough to make a login, but not bright enough to contribute anything at all.' poster.
 
2013-04-10 09:42:26 PM

lostcat: vudukungfu: Here's your I-Phone, you I-Pad, and I just out Sponge bob on the 95" flat screen for you baby, and here's the remote, and here's your pizza and Monster drink, and stop kicking the dog, honey, and her's your chips, and try to eat your carrots bleached in bleach this time, honey, and, no, you aren't gonna get a shot with them other kids termorrah, 'cause that causes oughtizm amd ADHDHDs and Assburner's sindrim, an' please stop kickin' th' dawg, honeychild, and here's a X-box in case ta git boreded.
Now let mommy go upstairs ith "uncle Buck" fer awhile and please stop kickin' the dawg.

Do people who talk like that really have the ability to get iPhones and iPads for their kids?


they also worry about vaccines causing disorders & know that carrots miniature carrots are somehow unholy for getting a quick rinse in chlorine to degerm them.

poster seems to have mixed trailer trash stereotypes with granola parent stereotypes. see, good parents deny their children modern technology but also comply with modern science and vaccinate them.
 
2013-04-10 09:45:26 PM
img.photobucket.com
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-10 09:46:31 PM

legion_of_doo: When you look at the black race, black people are very gifted in what we call worship and celebration. A lot of us like to dance, and if you go to black churches, you see people jumping up and down, because they really get into it.

White people were blessed with the gift of structure and organization. You guys do a good job of building businesses and things of that nature and you know how to tap into money pretty much better than a lot of people do around the world.

Hispanics are gifted in family structure. You can see a Hispanic person and they can put 20 or 30 people in one home. They were gifted in the family structure.

When you look at the Asians, the Asian is very gifted in creation, creativity and inventions. If you go to Japan or any Asian country, they can turn a television into a watch. They're very creative. And you look at the Indians, they have been very gifted in the spirituality.


I read all that and am left waiting for the punch line. You went to daycare, didn't you?
 
2013-04-10 10:12:49 PM

meat0918: I suspect this thread will be full of projection with a good dose of proclamations about how they "are different".


TL;DR

My kids *are* pretty perfect. It helps if you raise them to be courteous and intelligent, and to teach them to exercise their common sense.
 
2013-04-10 10:27:47 PM
My children are stupid, rude, and smell bad.
 
2013-04-10 10:50:41 PM
Pop that childhood disney bubble quick and early.  Identify child as household denizen and contributor.  Put to work in factory making dreams for other children to play with.  Sit back and enjoy reciprocity from your family for a change.
 
2013-04-10 11:12:37 PM
American parents are always seen trying to make the most of every moment-to give their children a developmental boost.

If American parents always dote on intelligence then why do we have Florida?
 
2013-04-10 11:47:19 PM

Chevello: I read all that and am left waiting for the punch line. You went to daycare, didn't you?


You know, they say the dumbest animal in the world is a sheep.

A sheep will rather walk through a barb wire fence than go through an open gate. And if you look at the Bible, we're compared to sheep.

And the reason we're compared to sheep is because without our shepherd, we don't know what to do or where we're going. And I believe when I look at this nation today, that we pushed the shepherd aside, and because we pushed the shepherd aside we're experiencing major problems in our nation.

When I look at America today I often ask myself a question. Why are we pushing G*d out? I believe the reason we're pushing G*d out is because G*d is in and it will affect the economy.

/The people is what counts.
 
2013-04-10 11:53:48 PM

legion_of_doo: Chevello: I read all that and am left waiting for the punch line. You went to daycare, didn't you?

You know, they say the dumbest animal in the world is a sheep.

A sheep will rather walk through a barb wire fence than go through an open gate. And if you look at the Bible, we're compared to sheep.

And the reason we're compared to sheep is because without our shepherd, we don't know what to do or where we're going. And I believe when I look at this nation today, that we pushed the shepherd aside, and because we pushed the shepherd aside we're experiencing major problems in our nation.

When I look at America today I often ask myself a question. Why are we pushing G*d out? I believe the reason we're pushing G*d out is because G*d is in and it will affect the economy.

/The people is what counts.


This has some potential for humor.
 
2013-04-10 11:59:58 PM

legion_of_doo: Chevello: I read all that and am left waiting for the punch line. You went to daycare, didn't you?

You know, they say the dumbest animal in the world is a sheep.

A sheep will rather walk through a barb wire fence than go through an open gate. And if you look at the Bible, we're compared to sheep.

And the reason we're compared to sheep is because without our shepherd, we don't know what to do or where we're going. And I believe when I look at this nation today, that we pushed the shepherd aside, and because we pushed the shepherd aside we're experiencing major problems in our nation.

When I look at America today I often ask myself a question. Why are we pushing G*d out? I believe the reason we're pushing G*d out is because G*d is in and it will affect the economy.

/The people is what counts.


"I just want you to know I'm not crazy. Okay. But in the process of knowing that -- I lost my train of thought ..... where I was going with that? Where was I going? What did I say?"

right. got it. thanks I think.
 
2013-04-11 12:00:28 AM

Dreadskull: This has some potential for humor.


You all just misunderstanding me.  Now, let me explain what I'm talking about.

During the time that the New World was to be built, the Europeans had to make a decision whether they were going to enslave their own. They couldn't enslave their own because their own could assimilate.

They couldn't enslave the Indians because the Indians knew the territory, and the Indians knew how to sneak up on people.

But the only people they could enslave was the Africans because of their skin color. We couldn't assimilate, and because of our skin color if we escaped, we were sent back to our plantations pretty much.

/One thing that I realize is that Brett Favre is the man.
 
2013-04-11 12:03:29 AM
When people say "G*d", I think of Kurt Vonnegut's use of the asterisk to represent the asshole, and I wonder anew about the choice religions inspire.

I mean, it's great your deity has a rectum and all, but is that the main point?
 
2013-04-11 12:12:42 AM

Valiente: I mean, it's great your deity has a rectum and all, but is that the main point?


When I look at America today I often ask myself a question. Why are we pushing G*d out?

I believe the reason we're pushing G*d out is because G*d is in and it will affect the economy. Major organizations will fall.

There will be no condoms that will be sold to our children because we will be teaching chastity. There will be no more cigarettes sold to our people because they won't do things to hurt their bodies. There will be no more drugs distributed, guns distributed. It will shut down industry in America.

So we have to push G*d  out. America has to push god out. Because if G*d got in, it would affect a lot of people's money. In that process we have to understand, are we more interested in the money or the people?

Other great civilizations have come and gone. The ancient Mayan nation developed brain surgery, excelled in mathematics and astronomy and built an incredible network of irrigation canals, then corruption took hold. Today it is a ghost of the past.

When we look at our own nation we have to ask ourselves a question. Is G*d blind to the sin of our own nation? Will He continue to bless us as he looks on our idols of silver and gold, on our pride of our personal achievements, on our prevailing rebellion against Him?
 
2013-04-11 12:14:15 AM
Also, I'm a big fan of the #92, even if Brett Favre is the man.
 
2013-04-11 12:38:31 AM

I Am The Bishop Of East Anglia: ModernLuddite: I like that the "enlightened" societies cited are Italy and Kenya. Both shining beacons of social, ethical, and governmental wisdom.

Right on, man. Was just listening this morning to a Planet Money podcast about a Kenyan who scammed their economy out of 10% of their GDP in the early 90s, got religion (Praise Jebus!), and has been trying for a seat in their Parliament. The Kenyan government was amazingly stupid to be conned by this guy.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2013/0 3/26/175382519/episode-447-the-c o n-man-who-took-down-his-own-country-th en-ran-for-office

Italy...Mafia...Berlusconi...'nuff said.


So, like the Wall Street guys who systematically scam us out of our money and then get cabinet positions?
 
2013-04-11 12:39:58 AM

lostcat: vudukungfu: Here's your I-Phone, you I-Pad, and I just out Sponge bob on the 95" flat screen for you baby, and here's the remote, and here's your pizza and Monster drink, and stop kicking the dog, honey, and her's your chips, and try to eat your carrots bleached in bleach this time, honey, and, no, you aren't gonna get a shot with them other kids termorrah, 'cause that causes oughtizm amd ADHDHDs and Assburner's sindrim, an' please stop kickin' th' dawg, honeychild, and here's a X-box in case ta git boreded.
Now let mommy go upstairs ith "uncle Buck" fer awhile and please stop kickin' the dawg.

Do people who talk like that really have the ability to get iPhones and iPads for their kids?


There's big money in getting dirty. And fewer work weasels. Unless you're an exterminator.
 
2013-04-11 12:44:16 AM
I live in a 3rd world country....I do not see kids on leashes, laying on the floor throwing tantrums, or fat little greedy bastards, pretending that they are in control.  I do see that in the US.  Here I see kids interacting with their parents, parents paying attention to their kids and letting them be kids.
 
2013-04-11 02:57:38 AM

pxlboy: swingerofbirches: I recently took a development psychology class from a newly graduated psychologist (she graduated from a really low-tier school) who had super dogmatic views.

Anyhow, when it came to daycare, she was a hardliner in agreeing with our textbook that daycare did not negatively affect children as long as they had "quality" attachment with their parents. I pushed the issue a bit and asked if there was any minimum amount of time a parent would have to spend with their children to achieve this quality connection, but she insisted there wasn't.

I was interested to see Sweden's focus on happiness and security. Sweden is a country you might typically associate as being further to the left of women's views on careers/raising a family, but in my experience, it's not true. They do have universal daycare in Sweden, but they're neighborhood based, and in my experience aren't used as much. Plus they have super long maternity and paternity leave and lots of time off in the summer and holidays to be with kids.They definitely value down time/family time. Of course, this is all anecdotal. I grew up in both Sweden and US, so just my observations.

They also respect and value education in a way that the US doesn't.




What's the income tax rate over there? Do you want to pay more?
 
2013-04-11 08:28:50 AM
You know who else is a child-rearing expert named Harkness?

berkeleyplacecomics.files.wordpress.com

Trivia Note: Russel T Davies named Jack Harkness after her.
 
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