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(ABC)   Scientific genius, Rep. Joe Barton: "I would point out that if you're a believer in the Bible, one would have to say the Great Flood is an example of climate change, and that certainly wasn't because mankind had overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy"   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 170
    More: Dumbass, Bibles, Secretary of State Clinton, hydrocarbon energy, Bible Teach, natural response, floods, hydrocarbons, climate change  
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1784 clicks; posted to Politics » on 10 Apr 2013 at 7:51 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-10 07:48:41 PM
This is the guy who doesn't understand plate tectonics, right?
 
2013-04-10 07:51:44 PM
I would point out that you are a f*cking retard Joe Barton. And I don't mean that as a slur, I mean that as a reflection of your intellectual capacity.
 
2013-04-10 07:53:29 PM
Ow!
 
2013-04-10 07:54:41 PM
Well, at least we know why Republicans want to gut quality public education. Where will they find the next generation, otherwise?
 
2013-04-10 07:55:00 PM
Teach the controversy brotha!
 
2013-04-10 07:57:57 PM
Is this the same guy who profusely apologized for getting the Gulf in the way of BP's oil spill?
 
2013-04-10 08:00:05 PM
So god gave me that sun burn in January in New England this year?
 
2013-04-10 08:00:48 PM
Came in here to make some comment on how derpy mr. barton's statement is... but nothing I can think of illustrates this point better than said statement.
 
2013-04-10 08:01:41 PM
At least he admits global climate change is real. Even if it is god-made.

Hate the sin, not the sinner, Yo.
 
2013-04-10 08:01:56 PM

NewportBarGuy: This is the guy who doesn't understand plate tectonics, right?


That is correct.
 
2013-04-10 08:01:58 PM
So... Gay marriage is causing global warming?
 
2013-04-10 08:02:11 PM
This guy, and any that place personal opinion over scientific fact, is not fit to govern in the modern age.
 
2013-04-10 08:02:11 PM
OK, but you WOULD have to say it was because mankind was irredeemably stupid, wicked, evil and sinful; and where would that leave us today, Joey? Because you don't look like the kind of guy who's going to be building an ark out of gopher-wood any time soon, you know?
 
2013-04-10 08:02:38 PM
So God is creating global warming or is it Satan?
 
2013-04-10 08:03:01 PM

elchip: So... Gay marriage is causing global warming?


According to Rep Barton, it would be "having sex with angels", if I understand correctly.
 
2013-04-10 08:03:11 PM
Joe,

Maybe, in the future, you could hire someone, who could act like a sounding board, you could tell them things, ideas you'd like to publicly expound on, and they, in turn, could tell you to STFU.

How'd that be for you?  

Regards,
 
2013-04-10 08:03:18 PM
If God doesn't like what you're doing on His planet, He has ways of shutting that whole thing down.
 
2013-04-10 08:05:56 PM
This would be the same flood that supposedly killed nearly everyone?

Maybe he's on to something....
 
2013-04-10 08:06:13 PM

elchip: So... Gay marriage is causing global warming?


I thought it was the lack of pirates?
 
2013-04-10 08:06:42 PM
Wasn't the flood directly caused by God's desire to erase the farkups of Man?
 
2013-04-10 08:08:29 PM
He should get together with John Shimkus. They sound like they have a lot in common.

God won't allow global warming, congressman seeking to head Energy Committee says
 
2013-04-10 08:09:37 PM
But global warming isn't happening because the global temperature trend is down in my carefully chosen data set where I start my time period at a high-temperature outlier. Also Algore is fat.
 
2013-04-10 08:10:18 PM
I think God regretted creating Man at one point, Therefore, floody.
 
2013-04-10 08:10:50 PM
They say that wood is flammable, but the Hindenburg sure wasn't filled with timber!
 
2013-04-10 08:11:33 PM
This is just wrongheaded thinking.  God flooded the world because it was full of wickedness and wicked people doing wicked things (by this I mean anything that God doesn't like).  Maybe God doesn't like all that oil burning, have you considered that?  It says in the bible that burning ox is a pleasing smell to God.  Now, have you ever put too much lighter fluid on your coals and ruined a nice steak?  The odor just wafts off the meat and you can't even eat it.  I think God is pissed at us for ruining his barbeque up in heaven, and his angry heated rage is warming up the planet.  What do you say to that, Mr. BarTon?  Stumped, huh?
 
2013-04-10 08:11:36 PM
I know there's not supposed to be a religious test in order to qualify for office, but is there no chance of a reality test?
 
2013-04-10 08:11:41 PM
Don't worry, God promised He won't flood the earth again.

He's going to burn it instead.

/gotta get rid of those pesky concrete cities somehow
//melt 'em away
 
2013-04-10 08:14:02 PM
What Noah's flood might have been...Black Sea deluge
 
2013-04-10 08:14:56 PM
Hey God. I *triple dog dare* ya to flood the whole Earth.

*mooning sky*
 
2013-04-10 08:16:44 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-10 08:16:46 PM

Zeb Hesselgresser: Joe,

Maybe, in the future, you could hire someone, who could act like a sounding board, you could tell them things, ideas you'd like to publicly expound on, and they, in turn, could tell you to STFU.

How'd that be for you?
Regards,

I'll do it!

/Just so long as I can punch him in the back of the head whenever he farks up.
 
Ehh
2013-04-10 08:16:50 PM
We are doomed. I has a sad.
 
2013-04-10 08:18:47 PM
It's a good thing I'm not a believer in the Bible, then.
 
2013-04-10 08:19:42 PM
It'd be nice if people could start reminding Christians that believing in the Bible actually disqualifies them from running for office and living in any civilized society with laws against most of the things the Bible commands.

Christians are such suckers though.  You can actually sell them protein shakes and bottles of tap water by telling them that it has Super Jesus Power, and if they hold it up to the TV, it gets SUPERCHARGED!

These are the kinds of people we elect to represent us in our nation's halls of government.

Sleep well, huh?
 
2013-04-10 08:21:56 PM
This dumb mother f@cker. Jesses Christ.
 
2013-04-10 08:24:13 PM

Sir-Marx-A-Lot: So god gave me that sun burn in January in New England this year?


Sun burn is caused by the affect of direct sunlight, not warmth, so warming will not increase your chances of getting sunburn (except for its impact on cloud cover, which is fairly mixed as far as I recall).
 
2013-04-10 08:24:47 PM

Vodka Zombie: It'd be nice if people could start reminding Christians that believing in the Bible actually disqualifies them from running for office and living in any civilized society with laws against most of the things the Bible commands.

Christians are such suckers though.  You can actually sell them protein shakes and bottles of tap water by telling them that it has Super Jesus Power, and if they hold it up to the TV, it gets SUPERCHARGED!

These are the kinds of people we elect to represent us in our nation's halls of government.

Sleep well, huh?


Reading the Bible is for libtards.
 
2013-04-10 08:25:50 PM
Well, in the Bible it states the size of the Ark. And knowing the size of the Ark, we can tell that it clearly wasn't big enough to hold all the extant species of animal on the planet Earth. Hell, it couldn't even carry all the species of any decent zoo.

So given the current massive variety of species on Earth, and the Biblical size of the Ark given, we can conclude that the story of Noah's Ark is clear cut proof of evolution and specialization by natural selection.

QE Motherfarking D

/resposted
 
2013-04-10 08:28:18 PM
An article so full of DERP to start, and basically coming to a close with FTFA:"A group of extreme athletes, however, disagree.", really makes me question my sanity.
 
2013-04-10 08:29:38 PM
Well if you believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible then God likes to plant fossils in the ground that are millions of years old just to fool with us.  Either that or he is totally indifferent to Satan doing so which really makes a person wonder about how much He loves humans.
 
2013-04-10 08:32:23 PM
Genesis 6:12 "And God saw the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt"

/the Hebrew for 'corrupt' can also be translated as 'as over-carbonated as coca cola'
//trust me I'm a Biblical scholar
///well, ok, I'm not, but I, too, can make shiat up
 
2013-04-10 08:33:20 PM
Waiting for claims that Republicans aren't all this dumb, they just vote people this dumb into national office.
 
2013-04-10 08:33:27 PM
Hey, Senator Barton! Revelation 16:8−9. Why don't you oh-so-Christian global warming / ozone depletion deniers believe your own Holy Bible, the Word of God!?

Or could it be that you do believe in those things as fulfillment of that prophecy, and pretend not to, specifically because you actually want such horrific things to happen, to force those prophecies (see the earlier ones in the same chapter as well) to come true? Oh, and get sweet, sweet filthy lucre from the petroleum industry lobbyists while you're waiting, right?
 
2013-04-10 08:34:34 PM
Truth is, if you actually read the Bible it clear that not only is God still upset, 2nd Peter 3:10 explicitly says that that the next time the world is destroyed, it will be with fire, not flood. So God actually is kind of promising global warming.
 
2013-04-10 08:36:11 PM
Didn't you hear the man?  We must build an ark!  See?  I told you this guy was a job creator!
 
2013-04-10 08:38:57 PM

GentDirkly: Truth is, if you actually read the Bible it clear that not only is God still upset, 2nd Peter 3:10 explicitly says that that the next time the world is destroyed, it will be with fire, not flood. So God actually is kind of promising global warming.


See my post just before yours.
 
2013-04-10 08:39:51 PM
cafewitteveen.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-10 08:40:10 PM

Emposter: Waiting for claims that Republicans aren't all this dumb, they just vote people this dumb into national office.


Yup.

Every. Farking. Office.

All. the. Farking. Time.

You'd think that for a party with such a "small, albeit loud minority" of stupid people, they'd be able get at least one or two people into national office who aren't batshiat insane.  Funny how that works out  . . .
 
2013-04-10 08:41:47 PM
bonkmeist:

An article so full of DERP to start, and basically coming to a close with FTFA:"A group of extreme athletes, however, disagree.", really makes me question my sanity.

I'd love to be an extreme atheist, dude, but I don't have the coordination to grind on a skateboard and I think Mountain Dew tastes like diabetic horse piss.

Bummer.
 
2013-04-10 08:44:43 PM
No, it's because HOMOSEXUALS!!1!
 
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