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(BBC America)   Ten American habits that the British just don't understand. Of course, #1 on the list is such low-hanging fruit that it's not even worth mentioning in the headline   (bbcamerica.com) divider line 321
    More: Interesting, British, Americans, oral hygiene, salt and pepper, family friendly, Christmas cards, elderly woman  
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38902 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Apr 2013 at 8:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-10 04:32:02 PM
More like `ten habits a Yank with his head up his ass think is stereo-typically not Britishy'.
 
2013-04-10 04:34:46 PM
Americans like to let the world know that they're having fun - or approve heartily of what's being said or done in front of them - by contorting their vocal chords into a shape that will allow them to pump out obnoxious mouth hoots, one after another. One word: earplugs.

If you take the time to look at it, it's secretly training people's mouths and vocal chords for blowjobs.
 
2013-04-10 04:42:40 PM
7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.


Barf.
 
2013-04-10 04:43:11 PM
Moo juice is the jazz.
 
2013-04-10 04:45:46 PM

bunner: Moo juice is the jazz.


Lord knows it's been making my bum-hole sound like a Louis Armstrong horn solo as of late.
 
2013-04-10 04:46:11 PM
What do they have against milk? Communists.
 
2013-04-10 04:47:41 PM

violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.


Also, I thought the "proper English way" was to put the milk in the cup, then pour the tea into it.

oldfarthenry: bunner: Moo juice is the jazz.

Lord knows it's been making my bum-hole sound like a Louis Armstrong horn solo as of late.


If I used farky, you would now be "Satchmo."
 
2013-04-10 04:49:49 PM
"using all the body parts God gave us when playing football"
 
2013-04-10 05:25:49 PM
Don't worry, British persons.  Nobody here flosses either, except just before and just after dental appointments.
 
2013-04-10 05:26:21 PM
Milk and flossing and they wonder why we have such nice teeth.
 
2013-04-10 05:41:44 PM

ginandbacon: Milk and flossing and they wonder why we have such nice teeth.


That, and spending more on cosmetic dentistry than the rest of the world combined..
 
2013-04-10 06:17:59 PM
1. Flossing
Digging sharp string between your teeth everyday is standard oral hygiene procedure in America. We know we're supposed to do this too, but it hurts and it's boring. Most Brits probably own a tub of floss, but only dust it off before a date or dental appointment.


Way to perpetuate that stereotype about British teeth...
 
2013-04-10 06:23:08 PM
He forgot eating chips (fries) by hand.  I usually look out for local customs like that but one evening I was tired and jet lagged and drew some amused looks from a couple's two children.
 
2013-04-10 07:20:16 PM

UberDave: He forgot eating chips (fries) by hand.  I usually look out for local customs like that but one evening I was tired and jet lagged and drew some amused looks from a couple's two children.


No, we do that, although it does depend on the setting. In a nice restaurant with nice people then no, we use forks, sometimes, but hands are often used.

Osomatic: Don't worry, British persons.  Nobody here flosses either, except just before and just after dental appointments.


Yeah, everyone I know has floss somewhere, I reckon it's the same here. We go to the dentist and he/she says "floss more", and we say "ok!", then buy some, try using it, the floss gets stuck, we decide its not worth it, spend the rest of the day with floss hanging out of the mouth, then never floss again.

Did I say we? I meant me. But I bet i'm not alone.

And yes, milk on its own tastes like crap. Milk with almost anything else tastes great. Tea, chocolate, coffee, and when its turned into other things, like yogurt and ice cream. I am, however, alone among my friends with that belief. I know plenty who love plain milk, and that displeases me.
 
2013-04-10 07:43:00 PM

Slaxl: UberDave: He forgot eating chips (fries) by hand.  I usually look out for local customs like that but one evening I was tired and jet lagged and drew some amused looks from a couple's two children.

No, we do that, although it does depend on the setting. In a nice restaurant with nice people then no, we use forks, sometimes, but hands are often used.


I have never seen anyone eat fries with a fork, no matter how nice the restaurant. With the exception of if the fries are covered in something, such as chili or cheese or both. But that doesn't usually happen at nice restaurants, heh.

I had no idea UK people ate them with a fork - I've been there a few times, but I guess I just never saw it. I learned something today!
 
2013-04-10 07:52:44 PM
So, we eat a lot and are outgoing. Yep, that's America.
 
2013-04-10 07:54:14 PM

violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.


Beat me to it, I was going to post this EXACTLY as you did... it's like you read my mind. Spooky.
 
2013-04-10 08:10:40 PM

violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.


My grandmother did it, and God rest her soul, she's still the only person I've ever seen do it.
 
2013-04-10 08:26:50 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.

Beat me to it, I was going to post this EXACTLY as you did... it's like you read my mind. Spooky.


WTF is wrong with milk in hot tea?  Pretty yummy.

But then, I grew up (in part) in England...
 
2013-04-10 08:35:37 PM
I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?
 
2013-04-10 08:37:58 PM
11. Poutine
 
2013-04-10 08:40:49 PM
I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason. I am not white and seeing as most of the world does fine without milk drinkage if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'milk' (almond or ohters).  I like cheese though so I must support milk production for yummy cheese. That said you will pour that, honey, sugar, or lemon in my tea when I am cold and gone. Ew.
 
2013-04-10 08:40:52 PM
This can't be a real list. How does one not do these things? Really, like #4. What, are you supposed to just sit quietly next to someone and not talk to them? I don't know how that would happen. Or #10. Are we supposed to go to our separate breakfast tables? Of course everybody has breakfast together, and we talk to each other while having breakfast, too. This has to be a joke.
 
2013-04-10 08:41:36 PM

gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?


And beans! Don't forget the beans! Or the blood pudding, although that technically can be filed under meat. (Maybe.)

/Sorry England, but France wins at breakfast.
//Hey, when hot chocolate in the morning is a normal thing...
 
2013-04-10 08:41:50 PM
American slang evolves every 5 years. British slang changes naught in 250 years.
 
2013-04-10 08:42:16 PM
5. Whooping

PROBLEM?

wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
 
2013-04-10 08:43:50 PM
Don't let the British television you see fool you.  Brits want you to think they are all like this:

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

When the majority are like this:

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com  encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-04-10 08:43:52 PM
One is basic dental hygiene.  Two a cake for every day.  Three for lots and lots of love.  Four, hello, how are you sir?  Five is better than vevuzela.  Six fark you fark you fark yoooou.  Seven a very healthy food.  Eight your mom is supersized.  Nine it's just two meals in one.  Ten a lie.
 
2013-04-10 08:43:54 PM
As for the comments: who the hell would bother to order half a pint of beer? What's the point?
 
2013-04-10 08:44:16 PM

gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?


A brit introduced me to baked beans for breakfast. Awesome and it makes the rest of the day more fun.
 
2013-04-10 08:44:47 PM

Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason. I am not white and seeing as most of the world does fine without milk drinkage if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'milk' (almond or ohters).  I like cheese though so I must support milk production for yummy cheese. That said you will pour that, honey, sugar, or lemon in my tea when I am cold and gone. Ew.


racist
 
2013-04-10 08:44:52 PM

Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason. I am not white and seeing as most of the world does fine without milk drinkage if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'milk' (almond or ohters).  I like cheese though so I must support milk production for yummy cheese. That said you will pour that, honey, sugar, or lemon in my tea when I am cold and gone. Ew.


I hated it too until I tried whole milk. It's much better than the skim or 2% crap that people are always pushing.
 
2013-04-10 08:45:17 PM
themamareport.com

See this? ^ 
You can floss. All of you. It is now within your... reach.
 
2013-04-10 08:45:33 PM
Listen you wankers, just because you're still sore over Margaret Thatcher taking the milk away from all your children doesn't mean you should project your grudges onto us.
 
2013-04-10 08:45:44 PM

Canton: gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?

And beans! Don't forget the beans! Or the blood pudding, although that technically can be filed under meat. (Maybe.)

/Sorry England, but France wins at breakfast.
//Hey, when hot chocolate in the morning is a normal thing...


That's "black pudding" you farkwit and it's farking awesome (but not wacist).
 
2013-04-10 08:45:44 PM

gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?


And yet the author knocks Americans for portion size.
 
2013-04-10 08:45:46 PM
He left off the list "work" and "enjoy iced tea."

The only way I can get iced tea when I visit the UK is to order hot tea and a glass or two of ice.Drives me nuts that you cannot even find iced tea at the bigger hotels....  That being said, it does give me an excuse to splurge on Lucazade which can no longer be imported into the US....
 
2013-04-10 08:46:36 PM
I liked this, from the previous article about thing Brits do that Americans don't understand:

4. Enjoying the Misfortune of Others
Nothing brightens a Brit's day like discovering someone we didn't particularly like lost their job or misspelled a status update. I get a smugness buzz every time I clock an acquaintance's incorrect apostrophe usage. Americans, meanwhile, seem to spend less time thinking about other people, in a good way.



Not true Brits, not true. We LOVE that shiat, possibly even more than you.
 
2013-04-10 08:47:00 PM
I cannot take this seriously until the Brits stop driving on the wrong side of the road.

Then maybe an international group of us can sit down over a huge breakfast and drink moo-juice and discuss methods to raise the standards of dental health in the UK.
 
2013-04-10 08:47:02 PM

Superrad: So, we eat a lot and are outgoing. Yep, that's America.


Pretty much. We're basically Rodney Dangerfield.
 
2013-04-10 08:47:06 PM

violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.


As a Stupid Bloody Yank, the only time I'll drink tea with milk in it is in an Indian place.
 
2013-04-10 08:47:11 PM

violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.


If you drank the harsh stuff they drink over there, you'd find the mild is not a bad notion at all.
 
2013-04-10 08:47:30 PM
I don't get it... I don't do most of that crap either, and none of it enough to call it a habit. I think they're thinking of TV Americans. Or maybe I'm just weird.
 
2013-04-10 08:47:31 PM
#676695665: Mobility scooters.
Because walking is hard.
And a real wheelchair that you have to actually make it move yourself(or some dumbass sucker) is super duper hard.
 
2013-04-10 08:48:36 PM
#11: pressing a nice fruit basket up against your ex's window.

/or is that just me?
 
2013-04-10 08:48:46 PM
I have bad teeth. I'm now up to two implants. I floss like the devil, let me tell you. :(

I don't get why taking the leftovers home is a bad thing. Why is it good to waste food or stuff it down your pie hole? I love leftovers!
 
2013-04-10 08:49:46 PM

Osomatic: Slaxl: UberDave: He forgot eating chips (fries) by hand.  I usually look out for local customs like that but one evening I was tired and jet lagged and drew some amused looks from a couple's two children.

No, we do that, although it does depend on the setting. In a nice restaurant with nice people then no, we use forks, sometimes, but hands are often used.

I have never seen anyone eat fries with a fork, no matter how nice the restaurant. With the exception of if the fries are covered in something, such as chili or cheese or both. But that doesn't usually happen at nice restaurants, heh.

I had no idea UK people ate them with a fork - I've been there a few times, but I guess I just never saw it. I learned something today!


In a fast food place, or from a chip shop you would usually use your fingers for chips (although they have those spork things in case you can't afford to get your hands greasy for some reason). The more "serious" restaurants you would normally use a fork, although there is a certain amount of personal preference and flexibility of how upscale you would have to be going before switching (so at say a pub lunch level, it might be around 50/50).
 
2013-04-10 08:49:53 PM

Superrad: So, we eat a lot and are outgoing. Yep, that's America.


So at breakfast a couple weeks ago, my 9yo son whips off his shirt without saying a word and starts making armpit farts. I literally blew milk out my nose. I said I'd tried a hundred times as a kid, but never learned how to do that. So my son graciously gave us all lessons at the breakfast table. Within about 10 minutes, my 6yo daughter was ready for show and tell. I'm still getting lessons.
 
2013-04-10 08:50:45 PM

Jument: I have bad teeth. I'm now up to two implants. I floss like the devil, let me tell you. :(

I don't get why taking the leftovers home is a bad thing. Why is it good to waste food or stuff it down your pie hole? I love leftovers!


I think the point is to degrade the food then chuck it at a chav, for amusement.
 
2013-04-10 08:51:07 PM
nobody wants that crappy english breakfast anyway.
keep your tomato and give me some hash browns!
 
2013-04-10 08:52:07 PM

ukexpat: Canton: gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?

And beans! Don't forget the beans! Or the blood pudding, although that technically can be filed under meat. (Maybe.)

/Sorry England, but France wins at breakfast.
//Hey, when hot chocolate in the morning is a normal thing...

That's "black pudding" you farkwit and it's farking awesome (but not wacist).


Blood pudding, black pudding, whatever. It's made with blood. (Credit for using the term "pudding" rather than "sausage?" Because, you know, it is sausage. Made with blood.)

I tried once. In England, no less. And I've tasted worse things, but it was rather unpleasant.

/Just not my cuppa.
 
2013-04-10 08:52:15 PM
Don't forget kicking the ball right at Robert Green.
/oh yes I did
 
2013-04-10 08:52:43 PM
you know the best thing about the english?
 
2013-04-10 08:52:56 PM
This article =

motores.com.py
 
2013-04-10 08:53:25 PM

Omahawg: you know the best thing about the english?


their muffins
 
2013-04-10 08:53:35 PM
What about ironic racism?
 
2013-04-10 08:53:38 PM

Omahawg: you know the best thing about the english?


www.wintonforum.co.uk
 
2013-04-10 08:54:08 PM

Nabb1: Also, I thought the "proper English way" was to put the milk in the cup, then pour the tea into it.



img198.imageshack.us
Oy... he's a right M.I.F. isn't he?
 
2013-04-10 08:54:34 PM

Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason. I am not white and seeing as most of the world does fine without milk drinkage if I ever have children they will abstain from it.


eww..forget the taste -- just the smell of milk is enough to make me gag a little.

And milk is just for little kids. An adult drinking a glass of milk gives me the creeps. Especially with dinner -- if you do that, you're super weird.

/ice cream on the other hand ... om nom nom
 
2013-04-10 08:54:47 PM
As an American let me review the list.
1: Nope, just can't stand the feel of something sliding between my teeth.
2: Yep Wife bakes all the time.
3: Meh... never gave it much thought.
4: Yep, we are friendly over her. I will strike up a conversation with anyone anytime.
5: Guilty, when I am having fun I have been known to whoop.
6: Nope, I agree a unwelcome hug from a stranger is creepy... Unless she is hot.
7: Couldn't live without milk I drink 4-8 glasses a day. Nothing better than ice cold whole milk,
8: Been to England never could get enough to eat while I was there, guess I am too used to the supersized portions.
9: This seems to be more of an issue with older Americans.
10: This one doesn't make sense... When I was in England everyone had breakfast together.
 
2013-04-10 08:55:16 PM

Slaxl: UberDave: He forgot eating chips (fries) by hand.  I usually look out for local customs like that but one evening I was tired and jet lagged and drew some amused looks from a couple's two children.

No, we do that, although it does depend on the setting. In a nice restaurant with nice people then no, we use forks, sometimes, but hands are often used.


Wait.... I'm confused....which country doesn't eat fries with their fingers? Why would you need a fork in order to eat fries?

(Fancy restaurants understandable, you've already got the fork in your hand for the other stuff on your plate anyway.)
 
2013-04-10 08:55:18 PM
flossing is a habit now?
 
2013-04-10 08:55:30 PM

Notabunny: This can't be a real list. How does one not do these things? Really, like #4. What, are you supposed to just sit quietly next to someone and not talk to them? I don't know how that would happen. Or #10. Are we supposed to go to our separate breakfast tables? Of course everybody has breakfast together, and we talk to each other while having breakfast, too. This has to be a joke.


Yes, you just sit quietly and not talk to them. Why would you bother someone like that? Someone sitting there, minding his own business, and you just strike up a conversation? Why?
 
2013-04-10 08:55:46 PM

Shostie: 1. Flossing
Digging sharp string between your teeth everyday is standard oral hygiene procedure in America. We know we're supposed to do this too, but it hurts and it's boring. Most Brits probably own a tub of floss, but only dust it off before a date or dental appointment.

Way to perpetuate that stereotype about British teeth...


images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Right.  Whats all this then?
 
2013-04-10 08:57:38 PM

wontar: Notabunny: This can't be a real list. How does one not do these things? Really, like #4. What, are you supposed to just sit quietly next to someone and not talk to them? I don't know how that would happen. Or #10. Are we supposed to go to our separate breakfast tables? Of course everybody has breakfast together, and we talk to each other while having breakfast, too. This has to be a joke.

Yes, you just sit quietly and not talk to them. Why would you bother someone like that? Someone sitting there, minding his own business, and you just strike up a conversation? Why?


Because life is too short to have a stick lodged up your ass all of the time?
nttiawwt
 
2013-04-10 08:58:20 PM
I find it curious that I read that article with a British accent in my head.
 
2013-04-10 08:58:36 PM
All of those are pretty cute. I'd be more interested in seeing a list of 10 habits Europeans do that Americans would never understand/guess.
 
2013-04-10 08:59:12 PM

violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.


I used to think so, too, but don't knock it till you try it.  Really helps bring the flavors out, cuts down on the acidity of a really strong cup of tea.
 
2013-04-10 09:00:44 PM

WhoopAssWayne: All of those are pretty cute. I'd be more interested in seeing a list of 10 habits Europeans do that Americans would never understand/guess.


granted
 
2013-04-10 09:01:26 PM
Brits are generally baffled by American football.
I've heard them describe it as "Long bouts of nothing happening, then the teams all make these neat little lines,
Then they all go running in random directions for a few seconds
The whistle is blown...
And they all start lining up again."

Contrast that with soccer where the action is relatively continuous.

But when you realize that US football is totally geared for lots of commercial breaks, whereas soccer was originally televised in UK and Europe over radio then TV with no commercials.

And it all sort of makes sense.

But then there's Cricket, which is a total snooze-fest when compared to Baseball.
 
2013-04-10 09:02:12 PM

FriarReb98: violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.

My grandmother did it, and God rest her soul, she's still the only person I've ever seen do it.


So did mine, but with the addition of bourbon or brandy.  Said that way she got a serving of dairy AND fruits/grains.

Left me a motorcycle when she passed. (still have it). Grams was awesome!
 
2013-04-10 09:02:17 PM

gameshowhost: [themamareport.com image 500x287]

See this? ^
You can floss. All of you. It is now within your... reach.


When I was in high school (this was in the 70s), I thought of something like this but never tried to turn it into an actual product.  I'm more Woz than Jobs.
 
2013-04-10 09:02:24 PM

Notabunny: This can't be a real list. How does one not do these things? Really, like #4. What, are you supposed to just sit quietly next to someone and not talk to them?



I guess Scotts might not be considered British, but after spending a couple of work weeks in Beijing, then flying south to Liuzhou for more of the same.  Checked into the hotel, got my key and slogged myself to the elevator and some other guy got in too.  As the "lift" was in transit, he said in a thick Scotts brogue "I wouldn't be caught dead in America".  Not sure how he had pegged me, maybe my 501s or maybe he overheard me at the main desk - anyway, I just ignored him.

Luckily, I later met an Aussie bloke at the hotel who had about 15 years of experience in China and shared my love of beer.
 
2013-04-10 09:02:52 PM
1.  Mayonnaise on Spaghetti
2.  Tabloid nicknames (re:  Jacko is Wacko, Foxy Noxy)
3.  Bad fake tans (though they do share this with guidos)
4.  WAGS
5.  Excessive use of the term "trousers".
 
2013-04-10 09:03:10 PM

WhoopAssWayne: All of those are pretty cute. I'd be more interested in seeing a list of 10 habits Europeans do that Americans would never understand/guess.


There was a link at the bottom of the page about British habits.
 
2013-04-10 09:03:24 PM
I don't know why people are complaining about milk in tea, it's still tea. Chai tea and milk is great.
 
2013-04-10 09:03:29 PM

doyner: Uchiha_Cycliste: violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.

Beat me to it, I was going to post this EXACTLY as you did... it's like you read my mind. Spooky.

WTF is wrong with milk in hot tea?  Pretty yummy.

But then, I grew up (in part) in England...


i kno rite?

/dated a brit girl
//loved tea and milk before i met her though.
 
2013-04-10 09:03:40 PM
www.themoviegourmet.com
 
2013-04-10 09:05:22 PM
Only floss the ones you want to keep...
 
2013-04-10 09:05:41 PM

denbroc: [www.themoviegourmet.com image 432x324]


You know he's American don't you? Dumbass.
/wait for it....
 
2013-04-10 09:05:52 PM

wontar: Notabunny: This can't be a real list. How does one not do these things? Really, like #4. What, are you supposed to just sit quietly next to someone and not talk to them? I don't know how that would happen. Or #10. Are we supposed to go to our separate breakfast tables? Of course everybody has breakfast together, and we talk to each other while having breakfast, too. This has to be a joke.

Yes, you just sit quietly and not talk to them. Why would you bother someone like that? Someone sitting there, minding his own business, and you just strike up a conversation? Why?


Idunno. That's just what you do. It's fun. You say Hi, you talk for a bit, tell a few bad jokes. It's great when the person next to you is from where you live. But it's even more fun when they're from somewhere else. "London! Wow. I love your town. Is it true talking to total strangers on the plane kinda bugs you? That's weird. Did you catch the game last night?" And pretending to be deaf or French doesn't help. I always have something to write on, and I'm not above busting out my 2 years of high school french. Plus, I know a few magic tricks. How can you not talk to a man who just produced a coin from your ear?
 
2013-04-10 09:06:12 PM
Is weekday family breakfast a real thing for anyone?  During the week I would think people just eat as they go and maybe on the weekend dad makes a family breakfast.
 
2013-04-10 09:07:04 PM

jonny_q: There was a link at the bottom of the page about British habits.


studs up: granted


Deep in the cups here, obviously - thanks
 
2013-04-10 09:07:11 PM
Now that they have IHOP in London, do they serve kippers and can you get them with grits?
 
2013-04-10 09:07:11 PM

doyner: Uchiha_Cycliste: violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.

Beat me to it, I was going to post this EXACTLY as you did... it's like you read my mind. Spooky.

WTF is wrong with milk in hot tea?  Pretty yummy.

But then, I grew up (in part) in England...


It's just not Okay.
I suppose it's the same way that (I hear) British people won't drink tea *without* milk.
 
2013-04-10 09:07:34 PM

gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?


Nope. An English breakfast must include

Very dry white toast. Here's a picture of a dryer:
farm4.static.flickr.com


Marmalade.
Butter.
Eggs.
Fried tomatoes.
Bangers.
Tea or coffee.
Optional: bacon.
 
2013-04-10 09:07:55 PM
First things first....Tipping.
cdn1.screenrant.com
Learn to farkin' type.

1: American Football. Why all the protection? Why is it called 'foot' ball? Why are you still playing Gary Glitter songs?
2: It's farking St. Paddy's Day, you dipshiat. P-A-D-D-Y.
3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.
4. Lack of passports.
5. I'm not deaf. No need to talk so loudly. Also, wise-ass black American people in films are funny. In real life, not so much.
 
2013-04-10 09:07:58 PM

Jument: I have bad teeth. I'm now up to two implants. I floss like the devil, let me tell you. :(


Yep, floss, brush, mouthwash, the lot. Still earned one root canal and have one less tooth than I'd have liked. Know a guy who only does a bare minimum brush that lasts for less than ten seconds and yet he has perfect teeth. I also have a neighbour who was told by her dentist to stop using toothpaste entirely since it was abrading away her enamel. It isn't as simple as just taking care of them, you get born with high or low quality ones it seems.
 
2013-04-10 09:08:20 PM
Really with the leftovers? It goes hand in hand with portion size but I hate when I go out to eat and someone effectively trashes half a plate. If nothing else, give it to someone on the street on the way home.
 
2013-04-10 09:08:43 PM

oh_please: This article =

[motores.com.py image 535x356]


WhoopAssWayne: All of those are pretty cute. I'd be more interested in seeing a list of 10 habits Europeans do that Americans would never understand/guess.


You know what would be maximum trolling for Americans? A list of 10 European habits Brits don't get. Or vice versa.

Also, for reference:

www.d-interp.de
 
2013-04-10 09:08:47 PM

RatOmeter: I guess Scotts might not be considered British, but after spending a couple of work weeks in Beijing, then flying south to Liuzhou for more of the same. Checked into the hotel, got my key and slogged myself to the elevator and some other guy got in too. As the "lift" was in transit, he said in a thick Scotts brogue "I wouldn't be caught dead in America". Not sure how he had pegged me, maybe my 501s or maybe he overheard me at the main desk - anyway, I just ignored him.


Where is Scotland? My American geography is kind of terrible...

OH, I SEE. IT'S A LITTLE PIECE OF THE UNITED KINGDOM, BIATCHES!

/If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German, singing, "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!"
 
2013-04-10 09:09:07 PM
My payment to society for not flossing is that I made several boat payments for my dentist.
 
2013-04-10 09:09:19 PM

Delay: gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?

Nope. An English breakfast must include Very dry white toast. Here's a picture of a dryer:
[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x333]

Marmalade.
Butter.
Eggs.
Fried tomatoes.
Bangers.
Tea or coffee.
Optional: bacon.


Optional? No wonder the sun sets on the Empire.
 
2013-04-10 09:09:59 PM

shmashmortion: As for the comments: who the hell would bother to order half a pint of beer? What's the point?


What's the reason for an establishment not to sell half pints? Sometimes you only want a half.
 
2013-04-10 09:10:25 PM

gameshowhost: [themamareport.com image 500x287]

See this? ^ 
You can floss. All of you. It is now within your... reach.


Those things are great.
 
2013-04-10 09:10:43 PM
Whatever!
 
2013-04-10 09:10:55 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: What do they have against milk? Communists.


A true anti-communist would drinkonly distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol.
 
2013-04-10 09:11:24 PM
I would reciprocate, but I don't know any of the britt's habits because I don't give two shiats about them.
 
2013-04-10 09:11:24 PM
Well, we don't really drink milk straight once we've hit puberty. But baking? You bet your ass we'll find time to make a fresh batch of extra gooey chewy cookies.

As for breakfast "family" breakfast is usually on weekends when we have time for it. Usually it's people taking turns chugging a bowl of cereal over the sink before they have to rush out for work. And besides some of the nicest breakfasts I've had were in Germany or with German relatives. They expect the breads, pastries, jellies, fruit, milk and choice of juices and soda water.
 
2013-04-10 09:11:29 PM

violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.


Amen.
 
2013-04-10 09:12:49 PM
Pants / Trousers
Underwear/ pants
fanny....

v022o.popscreen.com
 
2013-04-10 09:13:09 PM
i visited London once for work, and i can attest (in my experience), i got strange feedback when i'd talk to strangers, even to talk ask for directions... Its not that they were unfriendly... in fact, from from it.. .They give me back a very apologetic and stammery reply... I was told later, its because they're a tad self conscious of coming off as silly or unknowledgble.
 
2013-04-10 09:13:35 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: Brits are generally baffled by American football.
I've heard them describe it as "Long bouts of nothing happening, then the teams all make these neat little lines,
Then they all go running in random directions for a few seconds
The whistle is blown...
And they all start lining up again."

Contrast that with soccer where the action is relatively continuous.

But when you realize that US football is totally geared for lots of commercial breaks, whereas soccer was originally televised in UK and Europe over radio then TV with no commercials.

And it all sort of makes sense.

But then there's Cricket, which is a total snooze-fest when compared to Baseball.


Was once accosted by a bunch of drunk Irish wankers that apropos of nothing began talking about how inferior baseball is to cricket. It started with "how hard is it to hit a ball the pitcher doesn't even bounce off the ground?" and got dumber from there. Not knowing much about cricket other than the bat looks like a paddle and wickets are sticky, I tried to politely change to something they'd enjoy better, like taking the piss out of handegg. Nothing doing. A tiresome evening of cricket.
 
2013-04-10 09:13:41 PM
I wouldnt seat the family for breakfast either if all I had to offer was beans and toast.
 
2013-04-10 09:14:10 PM
Flossing in the UK

leighyoung.com

Breakfast in the UK

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-10 09:14:36 PM
I agree with the sentimentality thing. We also have this way of speaking that theoretically covers all contingencies but offers no meaningful intention. Like: We support the troops 100% and give them all resources they need as they risk paying the ultimate price every day our behalf to protect our freedoms.

They're sentences that do nothing but turn your brain off. It's not just military stuff, but that's the easiest example to think of. Also, those probably aren't just American sayings. They say stupid stuff like that in Downton Abbey, too.
 
2013-04-10 09:14:46 PM

RatOmeter: Notabunny: This can't be a real list. How does one not do these things? Really, like #4. What, are you supposed to just sit quietly next to someone and not talk to them?


I guess Scotts might not be considered British, but after spending a couple of work weeks in Beijing, then flying south to Liuzhou for more of the same.  Checked into the hotel, got my key and slogged myself to the elevator and some other guy got in too.  As the "lift" was in transit, he said in a thick Scotts brogue "I wouldn't be caught dead in America".  Not sure how he had pegged me, maybe my 501s or maybe he overheard me at the main desk - anyway, I just ignored him.

Luckily, I later met an Aussie bloke at the hotel who had about 15 years of experience in China and shared my love of beer.


Yeah, I'm not sure what it is, but we stand out. Our clothes are a little different, but I think it's more out body movements. Heads up, big arm movements, long strides, etc. You can pick out an American a block away. I remember sitting next to a German guy at a bar in Heathrow. Turned out we were on the same little hopper flight. He introduce me to my first real English pub. Wonderful guy.
 
2013-04-10 09:15:49 PM

Notabunny: This can't be a real list. How does one not do these things? Really, like #4. What, are you supposed to just sit quietly next to someone and not talk to them? I don't know how that would happen. Or #10. Are we supposed to go to our separate breakfast tables? Of course everybody has breakfast together, and we talk to each other while having breakfast, too. This has to be a joke.




If you live in a large city, no problem.

Commuting is the answer you are looking for.
 
2013-04-10 09:16:02 PM

GungFu: First things first....Tipping.
[cdn1.screenrant.com image 448x350]
Learn to farkin' type.

1: American Football. Why all the protection? Why is it called 'foot' ball? Why are you still playing Gary Glitter songs?
2: It's farking St. Paddy's Day, you dipshiat. P-A-D-D-Y.
3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.
4. Lack of passports.
5. I'm not deaf. No need to talk so loudly. Also, wise-ass black American people in films are funny. In real life, not so much.


We have a country the size of western, central, and eastern Europe combined.  And until 9/11, we could hit up Canada, Mexico, and most of the Caribean without just a drivers license, too.  Why should we bother paying for passports?
 
2013-04-10 09:16:40 PM
GungFu:
3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.

Good God this.  See also conversate and disorientate.  It's converse and disorient.

This is related to the idea that volume of words is equal to content of message.  See Sarah Palin for an example.
 
2013-04-10 09:16:41 PM

oldfarthenry: bunner: Moo juice is the jazz.

Lord knows it's been making my bum-hole sound like a Louis Armstrong horn solo as of late.


I have cut dairy products to this extent.

/Except butter
//And ice cream
///i can't smell fark those that can
 
2013-04-10 09:17:10 PM
To ne fair to the English, they have had some hooligans who gave milk drinkers a bad name.

imageshack.us
 
2013-04-10 09:18:57 PM

Rapmaster2000: GungFu:
3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.

Good God this.  See also conversate and disorientate.  It's converse and disorient.

This is related to the idea that volume of words is equal to content of message.  See Sarah Palin for an example.


I cant tell which side you are ragging on here. So i will just add "aluminium".
 
2013-04-10 09:19:10 PM

Notabunny: Yeah, I'm not sure what it is, but we stand out. Our clothes are a little different, but I think it's more out body movements. Heads up, big arm movements, long strides, etc. You can pick out an American a block away.


My cousin who just moved to Britain says something to that affect. She's tiny and quite petite but her new husbands friends apparently comment on how "American" she is walking down the street. The way she declares to people around her by her stride that she owns this block even though 75% of her neighbors could probably wad her up like a used tissue. They apparently describe the walking style as "wantonly confident."
 
2013-04-10 09:19:19 PM

legion_of_doo: RatOmeter: I guess Scotts might not be considered British, but after spending a couple of work weeks in Beijing, then flying south to Liuzhou for more of the same. Checked into the hotel, got my key and slogged myself to the elevator and some other guy got in too. As the "lift" was in transit, he said in a thick Scotts brogue "I wouldn't be caught dead in America". Not sure how he had pegged me, maybe my 501s or maybe he overheard me at the main desk - anyway, I just ignored him.

Where is Scotland? My American geography is kind of terrible...

OH, I SEE. IT'S A LITTLE PIECE OF THE UNITED KINGDOM, BIATCHES!

/If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German, singing, "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!"


Idiots keep using this statement as some sort of diss....
When in reality the Brit's aversion to learning anything foreign would render it an impossibility that something, anything resembling an actual language would be sung.

Do you not realise the first thing any Brit learns whilst abroad is how fast or slow they should ask, 'Do you speak any English'?
 
2013-04-10 09:20:36 PM
I have to admit that list really surprises and confuses me.
 
2013-04-10 09:21:05 PM

shmashmortion: As for the comments: who the hell would bother to order half a pint of beer? What's the point?




Quicker to put down.

/if you know what i mean
 
2013-04-10 09:21:50 PM

FrancoFile: GungFu: First things first....Tipping.
[cdn1.screenrant.com image 448x350]
Learn to farkin' type.

1: American Football. Why all the protection? Why is it called 'foot' ball? Why are you still playing Gary Glitter songs?
2: It's farking St. Paddy's Day, you dipshiat. P-A-D-D-Y.
3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.
4. Lack of passports.
5. I'm not deaf. No need to talk so loudly. Also, wise-ass black American people in films are funny. In real life, not so much.

We have a country the size of western, central, and eastern Europe combined.  And until 9/11, we could hit up Canada, Mexico, and most of the Caribean without just a drivers license, too.  Why should we bother paying for passports?


To add to that point, it's assumed Americans are dumb for not being at least bilingual. But if I had to know a different language to go from Virginia to Maryland, yes, I'd know more languages. Learning French is mostly a waste of time for an American, unless they want to travel to Quebec a lot or watch a bunch of French cinema sans subtitles. Spanish is useful around here, but mostly avoidable. And every other language drops off the cliff after that. They solved that shiat in India by having the Brits ram English down their throats so you don't have to speak Hindi, Telagu, Kerala and Tamil just to get through the day.
 
2013-04-10 09:21:51 PM

studs up: Optional? No wonder the sun sets on the Empire.


Yep. History records their sun set when British bacon became optional. I don't want to be all that political on a Main Page thread, but it seems the bacon-states like Texas have been doing rather well lately. Just saying. Correlation not causation, etc.
 
2013-04-10 09:22:33 PM
What unutterable tosh. I'm British, and living in America.
Summary: uneducated troll.
Detail:
1. Flossing:  The British do this as well.
2. Compulsive baking: There are plenty of good cooks in the UK. Apparently the author isn't one of them.
3. Sending personalized holiday cards: well, frankly I've never liked this, but my British friends do this as well.
4. Talking to strangers unprompted: One of the most endearing qualities of Americans (and Australians, and pretty much anyone except the English)
5. Whooping: I must confess that I don't like this either, but it beats the obscene language from British sports fans.
6. Compulsive sentimentality:I have no problem with this. The author is from the South of England, I suspect.
7. Drinking milk: You have to be farking kidding me. (and the term 'Moo juice' is one of the signs of early-onset Altzheimer's, by the way). I was brought up with the slogan 'Drink a Pinta Milka day'. Guess which country came up with that.
 8. Ordering supersize portions Guilty, as charged. I hate it too.
9. Taking home leftovers: Yeah, but it's part of the side effect of 8, above.
10. Eating breakfast together: That's pretty much the clincher - we always had breakfast together when we livedin the UK. What';s wrong with that? Is it a Thatcher thing?
 
2013-04-10 09:24:50 PM
It would never occur to me to just sit next to a stranger at a meal and strike up a conversation.  That's just...invasive.
 
2013-04-10 09:25:21 PM
1. Flossing - Well yeah, you need to do it. You want food stuck between your teeth for days, weeks, months? Gross.

2. Compulsive baking - I don't bake, but what's wrong with it? My mom used to bake one thing a week: brownies, a cake, cookies, gingerbread, etc.

3. Sending personalized holiday cards - My family never did this.

4. Talking to strangers unprompted - It's called being friendly. Meeting new people. Husbands and wives have met each other this way.

5. Whooping - I don't whoop

6. Compulsive sentimentality - More friendliness Brits aren't used to.

7. Drinking milk - I love milk. Sorry we don't drink tea all day which stains our teeth brown

8. Ordering supersize portions - Land of plenty b*tch. No ones forcing you to eat the whole thing.

9. Taking home leftovers - waste not, want not

10. Eating breakfast together - I never even did this as a kid and I don't think it's accurate. Elementary school, middle school, and high school kids all leave at different times, as do their parents for work. Hard to eat breakfast all together.
 
2013-04-10 09:25:21 PM

Tillmaster: What unutterable tosh. I'm British, and living in America.
Summary: uneducated troll.
Detail:
1. Flossing:  The British do this as well.
2. Compulsive baking: There are plenty of good cooks in the UK. Apparently the author isn't one of them.
3. Sending personalized holiday cards: well, frankly I've never liked this, but my British friends do this as well.
4. Talking to strangers unprompted: One of the most endearing qualities of Americans (and Australians, and pretty much anyone except the English)
5. Whooping: I must confess that I don't like this either, but it beats the obscene language from British sports fans.
6. Compulsive sentimentality:I have no problem with this. The author is from the South of England, I suspect.
7. Drinking milk: You have to be farking kidding me. (and the term 'Moo juice' is one of the signs of early-onset Altzheimer's, by the way). I was brought up with the slogan 'Drink a Pinta Milka day'. Guess which country came up with that.
 8. Ordering supersize portions Guilty, as charged. I hate it too.
9. Taking home leftovers: Yeah, but it's part of the side effect of 8, above.
10. Eating breakfast together: That's pretty much the clincher - we always had breakfast together when we livedin the UK. What';s wrong with that? Is it a Thatcher thing?


Tony Blair. Close, though.

Not on the list: Chilled Beer
 
2013-04-10 09:27:11 PM
Fano:
To add to that point, it's assumed Americans are dumb for not being at least bilingual. But if I had to know a different language to go from Virginia to Maryland, yes, I'd know more languages. Learning French is mostly a waste of time for an American, unless they want to travel to Quebec a lot or watch a bunch of French cinema sans subtitles. Spanish is useful around here, but mostly avoidable. And every other language drops off the cliff after that. They solved that shiat in India by having the Brits ram English down their throats so you don't have to speak Hindi, Telagu, Kerala and Tamil just to get through the day.

I have friends who ARE bilingual and it frustrates them endlessly when they go overseas and the locals switch to English for them.

It's extra funny when it's someone who was born and raised in that country and picked up an American accent in their native language, and they switch to English on them.
 
2013-04-10 09:28:35 PM

Tillmaster: 7. Drinking milk: You have to be farking kidding me. (and the term 'Moo juice' is one of the signs of early-onset Altzheimer's, by the way). I was brought up with the slogan 'Drink a Pinta Milka day'. Guess which country came up with that.


I'm Scottish and it's always pronounced Melk. That and beer were essentially all that we drank. No juices. No water.
 
2013-04-10 09:28:49 PM

KatjaMouse: Notabunny: Yeah, I'm not sure what it is, but we stand out. Our clothes are a little different, but I think it's more out body movements. Heads up, big arm movements, long strides, etc. You can pick out an American a block away.

My cousin who just moved to Britain says something to that affect. She's tiny and quite petite but her new husbands friends apparently comment on how "American" she is walking down the street. The way she declares to people around her by her stride that she owns this block even though 75% of her neighbors could probably wad her up like a used tissue. They apparently describe the walking style as "wantonly confident."


AND WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH BEING CONFIDENT?!

/Sorry, I guess Americans are pretty loud, too
//I learned to walk confidently because I didn't want to be seen as a target...
 
2013-04-10 09:29:17 PM

Abox: Is weekday family breakfast a real thing for anyone?  During the week I would think people just eat as they go and maybe on the weekend dad makes a family breakfast.


Yes every morning we sit down and have breakfast together.
 
2013-04-10 09:30:29 PM

Delay: I'm Scottish and it's always pronounced Melk. That and beer were essentially all that we drank. No juices. No water.


This can't be true. When I visited friends in Aberdeen, all they had to drink was Irn Bru. Their were cans of that nasty stuff everywhere.
 
2013-04-10 09:30:49 PM
First of all... An American wrote that list, didn't they? I mean, come on... #1? Really? There's no way that was unintentional stereotypical.

gameshowhost: [themamareport.com image 500x287]

See this? ^
You can floss. All of you. It is now within your... reach.


I prefer:


i.walmartimages.com
 
2013-04-10 09:31:55 PM
Errr, no way it "was" unintentionally stereotypical I meant.
 
2013-04-10 09:31:56 PM

TheZorker: Tillmaster: What unutterable tosh. I'm British, and living in America.
Summary: uneducated troll.
Detail:
1. Flossing:  The British do this as well.
2. Compulsive baking: There are plenty of good cooks in the UK. Apparently the author isn't one of them.
3. Sending personalized holiday cards: well, frankly I've never liked this, but my British friends do this as well.
4. Talking to strangers unprompted: One of the most endearing qualities of Americans (and Australians, and pretty much anyone except the English)
5. Whooping: I must confess that I don't like this either, but it beats the obscene language from British sports fans.
6. Compulsive sentimentality:I have no problem with this. The author is from the South of England, I suspect.
7. Drinking milk: You have to be farking kidding me. (and the term 'Moo juice' is one of the signs of early-onset Altzheimer's, by the way). I was brought up with the slogan 'Drink a Pinta Milka day'. Guess which country came up with that.
 8. Ordering supersize portions Guilty, as charged. I hate it too.
9. Taking home leftovers: Yeah, but it's part of the side effect of 8, above.
10. Eating breakfast together: That's pretty much the clincher - we always had breakfast together when we livedin the UK. What';s wrong with that? Is it a Thatcher thing?

Tony Blair. Close, though.

Not on the list: Chilled Beer


Britain and the US both drink chilled beer. They just chill it to a different temperature.
 
2013-04-10 09:32:30 PM
I believe I've mentioned on Fark before that on a normal day I drink a gallon of milk/day.

/British heritage too
//1st gen US'Merican
 
2013-04-10 09:33:49 PM
I remember reading an article years ago, [citation totally needed] that stated that cow's milk molecules were 20,000 times larger than human milk (is this even possible?), and that whale milk was closer in chemistry to human milk than cow's milk. This may have been complete horse hockey put out by the Whale Dairy Association, but I often cite it as gospel to my sister who could drink a cow to a dried husk in a matter of hours.

I grew up on fresh milk that needed to be shaken to mix the cream and butter solids back into into the milk, not on the factory milk facsimile available in the supermarkets. It was straight from the teat, strained through cheesecloth, and immediately chilled.

Having read James Herriot's series of books, I can understand the British aversion to milk, what with the fact that every citizen that lived out of eyeshot of a skyscraper seemed required to spend the majority of their waking hours with their arm shoulder-deep in a cow's vagina.
 
2013-04-10 09:34:19 PM

violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.


I was raised in Maine and this is how it's done there, too. It's funny, both my kids were born an raised in Virginia, I rarely drink tea (and don't add milk), but somehow my half Korean daughter adds milk to her tea. Weird.
 
2013-04-10 09:35:27 PM

Seth'n'Spectrum: Delay: I'm Scottish and it's always pronounced Melk. That and beer were essentially all that we drank. No juices. No water.

This can't be true. When I visited friends in Aberdeen, all they had to drink was Irn Bru. Their were cans of that nasty stuff everywhere.


OK. I wasn't going to mention their fizzy drinks. Half the Scottish daily calorie intake.
 
2013-04-10 09:38:23 PM
My two cents:
1. I floss only after eating coarser meats when bits get stuck.
2. Yep, the wife bakes all the time. Good stuff.
3. Yes, we send foto Xmas cards every year, but no weird notes inside.
4. Sometimes I talk to strangers, but just for a minute or two.
5. I think whooping is retarded. Never understood college girls who seem to do it all the time, like Julia Roberts.
6. Yeah, sometimes I'm compelled to hug, like then the doctor saved my life.
7. Milk is awesome with baked goods (see #2).
8. I used to order supersize--but not no more.
9. Sure, I take home leftovers.  I paid for it, amirite?
10. Yes, we eat breakfast together whenever possible, especially weekends.
 
2013-04-10 09:38:54 PM

AxemRed: Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason. I am not white and seeing as most of the world does fine without milk drinkage if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'milk' (almond or ohters).  I like cheese though so I must support milk production for yummy cheese. That said you will pour that, honey, sugar, or lemon in my tea when I am cold and gone. Ew.

I hated it too until I tried whole milk. It's much better than the skim or 2% crap that people are always pushing.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-10 09:39:09 PM

xria: Osomatic: Slaxl: UberDave: He forgot eating chips (fries) by hand.  I usually look out for local customs like that but one evening I was tired and jet lagged and drew some amused looks from a couple's two children.

No, we do that, although it does depend on the setting. In a nice restaurant with nice people then no, we use forks, sometimes, but hands are often used.

I have never seen anyone eat fries with a fork, no matter how nice the restaurant. With the exception of if the fries are covered in something, such as chili or cheese or both. But that doesn't usually happen at nice restaurants, heh.

I had no idea UK people ate them with a fork - I've been there a few times, but I guess I just never saw it. I learned something today!

In a fast food place, or from a chip shop you would usually use your fingers for chips (although they have those spork things in case you can't afford to get your hands greasy for some reason). The more "serious" restaurants you would normally use a fork, although there is a certain amount of personal preference and flexibility of how upscale you would have to be going before switching (so at say a pub lunch level, it might be around 50/50).


If fries are "chips", then what do you call actual chips? Also, why is the English muffin not a muffin?
 
2013-04-10 09:39:42 PM

SanjiSasuke: I believe I've mentioned on Fark before that on a normal day I drink a gallon of milk/day.


Nice. Now I know my wife's Fark account
 
2013-04-10 09:40:35 PM

Seth'n'Spectrum: Delay: I'm Scottish and it's always pronounced Melk. That and beer were essentially all that we drank. No juices. No water.

This can't be true. When I visited friends in Aberdeen, all they had to drink was Irn Bru. Their were cans of that nasty stuff everywhere.


Nasty? Die in a fire. Slowly.
 
2013-04-10 09:40:57 PM

RINO: Also, why is the English muffin not a muffin?


It's a scone.
 
2013-04-10 09:41:03 PM

FrancoFile: GungFu: 4. Lack of passports.

We have a country the size of western, central, and eastern Europe combined.  And until 9/11, we could hit up Canada, Mexico, and most of the Caribean without just a drivers license, too.  Why should we bother paying for passports?


Yeah, it's occasionally worth remembering how freaking big this place is.

unilateralpontifications.files.wordpress.com
ronandrachel.com

/of course they're hotlinked, can Fark even do it any other way now?
//yank
///yes, I have a passport (for a trip to London, as it happens)
////British mustard is so much better than anything served in our pubs/delis
 
2013-04-10 09:41:40 PM

studs up: denbroc: [www.themoviegourmet.com image 432x324]

You know he's American don't you? Dumbass.
/wait for it....


Quit yer trollin, hoser.

storage.canoe.ca
 
2013-04-10 09:41:56 PM

Enigmamf: ecmoRandomNumbers: What do they have against milk? Communists.

A true anti-communist would drink only distilled water, or rainwater, and only pure-grain alcohol.


And don't let anyone take your precious bodily fluids.
/POE
 
2013-04-10 09:43:15 PM
more random brain spew posing as journalism.
 
2013-04-10 09:44:07 PM
img845.imageshack.us

"Whoop!"
 
2013-04-10 09:44:42 PM

RINO: If fries are "chips", then what do you call actual chips?


It's on your box of Pringles.  Crisps.
 
2013-04-10 09:44:58 PM
Coming from Scotland, and having lived in the US for over a decade, I've cataloged all the things that are better in America.

1. You can turn on a red light.
2. You get ice in all your drinks.
3. Free refills.

Everything else is worse. I would have included the weather, but it does try and kill you occasionally.
 
2013-04-10 09:46:19 PM

12349876: RINO: If fries are "chips", then what do you call actual chips?

It's on your box of Pringles.  Crisps.


and by box i mean can.  no idea why i did that
 
2013-04-10 09:46:31 PM

Tax Boy: Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason. I am not white and seeing as most of the world does fine without milk drinkage if I ever have children they will abstain from it.

eww..forget the taste -- just the smell of milk is enough to make me gag a little.

And milk is just for little kids. An adult drinking a glass of milk gives me the creeps. Especially with dinner -- if you do that, you're super weird.

/ice cream on the other hand ... om nom nom


Aside from being healthy (and tasty, in my opinion), milk does wonders for my heartburn.
 
2013-04-10 09:47:39 PM

xria: Osomatic: Slaxl: UberDave: He forgot eating chips (fries) by hand.  I usually look out for local customs like that but one evening I was tired and jet lagged and drew some amused looks from a couple's two children.

No, we do that, although it does depend on the setting. In a nice restaurant with nice people then no, we use forks, sometimes, but hands are often used.

I have never seen anyone eat fries with a fork, no matter how nice the restaurant. With the exception of if the fries are covered in something, such as chili or cheese or both. But that doesn't usually happen at nice restaurants, heh.

I had no idea UK people ate them with a fork - I've been there a few times, but I guess I just never saw it. I learned something today!

In a fast food place, or from a chip shop you would usually use your fingers for chips (although they have those spork things in case you can't afford to get your hands greasy for some reason). The more "serious" restaurants you would normally use a fork, although there is a certain amount of personal preference and flexibility of how upscale you would have to be going before switching (so at say a pub lunch level, it might be around 50/50).



And that was pretty much my experience.  I should have clarified that it was in a sit-down restaurant...nothing fancy mind you but not a pub.

France OTOH....The only thing they eat with their hands over there are breakfast items (bread) while walking to work (or wherever).  I remember going to a brasserie for lunch with some colleagues and one girl, mid 20s, orders a burger and ate the entire thing with a fork.
 
2013-04-10 09:47:54 PM
3 habits of British people I thought was odd (amongst others) was:

1)  Boarding schools.  Granted I'm sure this is an upper class thing (or as they say "middle class" - see below), but having come across a number of British workers abroad, they seem to take it for granted that their parents sent them away to so-called "public school" (many are boarding) at a pretty early age and intend on doing this with their kids.  Americans joke they'd love to give away their kids and what not, but I suspect most American parents have little desire to live apart from their kids until college.

2) Their sense of humor.  I like dry humor, but brits seem to have a mean sense of humor.  Especially when they are drunk, which is a lot. Or it rather appears mean to this Yank.

3) The term "middle class", which means apparently means upper class minus the aristocracy.  It was weird hearing my British colleagues saying stuff like "Oh his family is quite posh.  Very middle class."  I guess we all aspire to be middle class.

Granted my observations are limited and confined to working or drinking with them in places like Hong Kong, China or Tokyo.
 
2013-04-10 09:49:51 PM

Adebisi: studs up: denbroc: [www.themoviegourmet.com image 432x324]

You know he's American don't you? Dumbass.
/wait for it....

Quit yer trollin, hoser.

[storage.canoe.ca image 256x192]


He's American, all right.  Just a *North American* - and not of the "Estados Unidos de Norteamerica"  type.
 
2013-04-10 09:50:26 PM

"Millions" and "billions"

1,000,000,000?... or 1,000,000,000,000??

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-10 09:50:33 PM
7: agree - dairy milk by itself is sour, no matter how it's treated

//soy milk preferred in everything but latte and cheese
 
2013-04-10 09:51:59 PM

Tillmaster: 4. Talking to strangers unprompted: One of the most endearing qualities of Americans (and Australians, and pretty much anyone except the English)


I'm American, but I don't do this very often. Then again, this may be a "Pacific Northwest" thing...
 
2013-04-10 09:52:03 PM

farkmedown: 7: agree - dairy milk by itself is sour, no matter how it's treated

//soy milk preferred in everything but latte and cheese


soy milk is sugary.
 
2013-04-10 09:52:41 PM
SirEattonHogg:

2) Their sense of humor.  I like dry humor, but brits seem to have a mean sense of humor.  Especially when they are drunk, which is a lot. Or it rather appears mean to this Yank.

3) The term "middle class", which means apparently means upper class minus the aristocracy.  It was weird hearing my British colleagues saying stuff like "Oh his family is quite posh.  Very middle class."  I guess we all aspire to be middle class.


In Britain, the humor is based heavily on irony and self-depreciation. A lot of American humor is going that way, at least among performers who don't feel the need to be adored by all.

In America, middle class is having a job. I've always wondered as to how scummy the gutter you live in is to be considered working class.
 
2013-04-10 09:54:39 PM

BunkoSquad: "using all the body parts God gave us when playing football"


You mean when playing "hand-ellipsoid"?
 
2013-04-10 09:54:54 PM

violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.


Cream or milk in tea isnt bad you just have to remember to put very little or no citrus fruit like lemon or orange in it, it will curdle if you have much at all.
 
2013-04-10 09:57:56 PM

r1niceboy: Coming from Scotland, and having lived in the US for over a decade, I've cataloged all the things that are better in America.

1. You can turn on a red light.
2. You get ice in all your drinks.
3. Free refills.

Everything else is worse. I would have included the weather, but it does try and kill you occasionally.


You must reside in Detroit.
 
2013-04-10 10:01:06 PM

Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason. I am not white and seeing as most of the world does fine without milk drinkage if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'milk' (almond or ohters).  I like cheese though so I must support milk production for yummy cheese. That said you will pour that, honey, sugar, or lemon in my tea when I am cold and gone. Ew.


I hate chicken. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'black' to eat chicken for some reason. I am not black and seeing as most of the world does fine without chicken eating if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'chicken' (tofu or rabbit).  I like eggs though so I must support chicken production for yummy eggs. That said you will pour that, gravy, in my ass when I am cold and gone. Ew.
 
2013-04-10 10:03:12 PM

rkiller1: r1niceboy: Coming from Scotland, and having lived in the US for over a decade, I've cataloged all the things that are better in America.

1. You can turn on a red light.
2. You get ice in all your drinks.
3. Free refills.

Everything else is worse. I would have included the weather, but it does try and kill you occasionally.

You must reside in Detroit.


I'm not being generous enough, am I? I do realise that parts of the US do have a fairly gleeful attitude towards incest, which is rare in Britain. Whether that's good or bad is subject to individual interpretation, of course.
 
2013-04-10 10:04:21 PM

r1niceboy: I'm not being generous enough, am I? I do realise that parts of the US do have a fairly gleeful attitude towards incest, which is rare in Britain. Whether that's good or bad is subject to individual interpretation, of course.


We don't have royal families that get pissed off about our incest jokes.
 
2013-04-10 10:04:46 PM

Oldiron_79: violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.

Cream or milk in tea isnt bad you just have to remember to put very little or no citrus fruit like lemon or orange in it, it will curdle if you have much at all.


my girlfriend puts milk in almost all the tea which is weird because she's Asian. nobody in her family can figure out why either. milk in the green tea.
 
2013-04-10 10:06:26 PM

eatin' fetus: Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason. I am not white and seeing as most of the world does fine without milk drinkage if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'milk' (almond or ohters).  I like cheese though so I must support milk production for yummy cheese. That said you will pour that, honey, sugar, or lemon in my tea when I am cold and gone. Ew.

I hate chicken. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'black' to eat chicken for some reason. I am not black and seeing as most of the world does fine without chicken eating if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'chicken' (tofu or rabbit).  I like eggs though so I must support chicken production for yummy eggs. That said you will pour that, gravy, in my ass when I am cold and gone. Ew.


Pouring gravy in a dead guy's ass? (will not GIS)
 
2013-04-10 10:07:17 PM

AGremlin: Don't let the British television you see fool you.  Brits want you to think they are all like this:

[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 251x201]

When the majority are like this:

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 277x182]  [encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 275x183]


My first exposure to poor modern British people acting gross was when I watch this on A&E:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-10 10:11:30 PM

redsquid: eatin' fetus: Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason. I am not white and seeing as most of the world does fine without milk drinkage if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'milk' (almond or ohters).  I like cheese though so I must support milk production for yummy cheese. That said you will pour that, honey, sugar, or lemon in my tea when I am cold and gone. Ew.

I hate chicken. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'black' to eat chicken for some reason. I am not black and seeing as most of the world does fine without chicken eating if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'chicken' (tofu or rabbit).  I like eggs though so I must support chicken production for yummy eggs. That said you will pour that, gravy, in my ass when I am cold and gone. Ew.

Pouring gravy in a dead guy's ass? (will not GIS)


OK so I did (of course) and this was the first hit-
www.thesniper.us

Sweet dreams.
 
2013-04-10 10:11:38 PM

Delay: I'm Scottish

 

r1niceboy: Coming from Scotland



So, guys.  I suppose my experience posted above shouldn't be considered typical of Scotts?  I reckoned the ill-tempered fellow was just out of his element, stuck in southern China and away from all his familiar things and customs (as was I).  I figured he was just a random guy, probably at least a little drunk, pissed off at the world and wanting to pick a fight.  I don't know of any particular reason that he would be expected to dislike "America" so much.
 
2013-04-10 10:12:15 PM

shmashmortion: pint of


When a real pint is 20oz then a half pint is 10 oz, not much less than a 12oz bottle really.
 
2013-04-10 10:12:40 PM
this thread:

www.reactionface.info
 
2013-04-10 10:13:14 PM

Delay: RINO: Also, why is the English muffin not a muffin?

It's a scone.


So then why call it a muffin? And what is the deal wth crackers/cookies over there?
 
2013-04-10 10:13:27 PM

kenfury: shmashmortion: pint of

When a real pint is 20oz then a half pint is 10 oz, not much less than a 12oz bottle really.


Well that was a f'd up quote.
 
2013-04-10 10:13:34 PM

Omahawg: Omahawg: you know the best thing about the english?

[www.wintonforum.co.uk image 305x312]


Jane Leeves(from Frasier) was a Hill's Angel.although I didn't see her in that pic.
 
2013-04-10 10:17:22 PM
This is why it's so easy, and fun, to hate the Brits.  Anything smacking of positive health behaviors sends them running, which is also funny (to watch).  Their teeth are rotted after two years of life in the land of fog and mist, and you can get an idea as to why in this article.  I honestly cannot think of one of their aging rock stars who doesn't have false teeth.  If someone can, let me know.
 
2013-04-10 10:18:09 PM

homelessdude: I cannot take this seriously until the Brits stop driving on the wrong side of the road.

Then maybe an international group of us can sit down over a huge breakfast and drink moo-juice and discuss methods to raise the standards of dental health in the UK.


There's nothing wrong with British dental health, they just don't spend tens of thousands of dollars putting their kids in braces for years until every tooth is exactly in the "right" position. As long as there's no cavities or gingivitis, who cares?

/I never understood the bit about Max Quordlepleen, the emcee for Milliways, having teeth like a "polished bay window" until I thought about it in light of Britain's lack of interest in cosmetic dentistry
 
2013-04-10 10:18:37 PM

RatOmeter: I don't know of any particular reason that he would be expected to dislike "America" so much.


Frankly, most Scots guys I know don't give one shiat about America, about the same as America gives about their land.
 
2013-04-10 10:18:59 PM
How is it that they forgot firearms?  Surely that's more obvious than whooping.
 
2013-04-10 10:19:56 PM

kenfury: kenfury: shmashmortion: pint of

When a real pint is 20oz then a half pint is 10 oz, not much less than a 12oz bottle really.

Well that was a f'd up quote.


Imperial(brit pre going metric) pint 20oz
SAE (us) pint 16 oz
half litre 16.9 oz
 
2013-04-10 10:21:15 PM
Wait, can you complain about portion size *and* taking home part of that portion for a second meal?
 
2013-04-10 10:21:32 PM
mammal = juice bar you limeys!
 
2013-04-10 10:22:41 PM

Notabunny: This can't be a real list. How does one not do these things? Really, like #4. What, are you supposed to just sit quietly next to someone and not talk to them?


I think you're being cheeky, but I remember riding the tube and this dude sitting next to me sneezed a loud and snotty one!  I said, "Bless you" and he gave me a look like I just told him to fark his mother.  The Brits are weird people.
 
2013-04-10 10:23:29 PM
For the most part I agree with my yellow toothed brothers across the pond.  The exception are #1, 9 and 10.  Brits don't floss? No wonder their teeth are all screwed up.  I admit I don't do it consistently but I manage to hit one problem tooth gap daily and all of the other teeth about every other day.  Far less than I should, but like the writer said its boring.

#9: no wonder they are broke.  Its just common financial sense that if you pay for something you get the most use out of it that you can.  If I paid for food I am damn well going to eat it.  Once I paid for it, it is mine to eat or take home or do with as I see fit.

#10: Eating breakfast together.  I actually don't do this except on weekends but would do it everyday if I could but have to leave for work before the kids are even awake.  Why would you not want to sit down and eat with your family? Its a nice chance to sit and converse with them.  Do you hate them or something?
 
2013-04-10 10:25:53 PM

studs up: denbroc: [www.themoviegourmet.com image 432x324]

You know he's American don't you? Dumbass.
/wait for it....


North American
 
2013-04-10 10:28:34 PM
i141.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-10 10:30:25 PM

Nabb1: oldfarthenry: bunner: Moo juice is the jazz.

Lord knows it's been making my bum-hole sound like a Louis Armstrong horn solo as of late.

If I used farky, you would now be "Satchmo."


All three of these comments are funnier than anything on that list.

/and you are now 'satchmo's spit-valve'.
 
2013-04-10 10:31:27 PM
Um, every mammal drinks milk as a child.  Straight milk.  How is it odd to continue drinking milk throughout life?
 
2013-04-10 10:32:06 PM
I work in sales. So if I'm not striking up conversations with randoms every chance i get, I'm not doing my job very well. Also, talking to people without having any idea what kind of person they are or how they are going to react is always interesting...sometimes really stupid....but always interesting.
 
2013-04-10 10:32:08 PM
I'm down with the whole drinking milk thing, but one American habit that makes me barf is non-dairy creamer. What's that shiat made from? Some kind of plastic?
 
2013-04-10 10:32:14 PM

Slaxl: Did I say we? I meant me. But I bet i'm not alone.


Used to be that way, especially when skipping the yearly cleanings.  I had enough plaque and calcium buildup that the blue moon I tried to floss, what I would pry off my tooth convinced me my teeth were cracked and I was wedging it open.  The bleeding from my gums only fueled the horror.  Then the plague would also erode off in small chunks and I was convinced my teeth were hollowing out from rot.

Finally, I got them cleaned and it turns out they were fine.  In fact, the plaque had been a protective coating since I had four cavities after a decade of not visiting the dentist.  Just four.  But now I floss every night because the plaque plays on my paranoia, even though I suspect I am leaving them unarmored to the ravages of mastication.
 
2013-04-10 10:32:54 PM

Seth'n'Spectrum: oh_please: This article =

[motores.com.py image 535x356]

WhoopAssWayne: All of those are pretty cute. I'd be more interested in seeing a list of 10 habits Europeans do that Americans would never understand/guess.

You know what would be maximum trolling for Americans? A list of 10 European habits Brits don't get. Or vice versa.

Also, for reference:


I use "it's not bad" all the time and it confuses the hell out of my American mother in law even after 13 years. I have to then explain because she thinks I then hate her cooking.
 
2013-04-10 10:35:09 PM

markie_farkie: ginandbacon: Milk and flossing and they wonder why we have such nice teeth.

That, and spending more on cosmetic dentistry than the rest of the world combined..


We pay more on just about any item you can think of than the entire rest of the world combined.
 
2013-04-10 10:37:05 PM

shmashmortion: As for the comments: who the hell would bother to order half a pint of beer? What's the point?


I'm an American -- I've done a half-pint of something with a strong taste, usually an IPA, with lunch.
 
2013-04-10 10:37:28 PM

trappedspirit: [i141.photobucket.com image 412x656]


www.lildiner.com

Bowling
 
2013-04-10 10:37:35 PM

RINO: If fries are "chips", then what do you call actual chips? Also, why is the English muffin not a muffin?

 As I recall potato chips were called "crisps",  trucks are lorries, car trunks and hoods are boots and bonnets, wrenches are spanners, bathroom is the loo, Sanford and Son were originally Steptoe and Son, and the name "English" muffin was coined by the colonists. My father told a story about being an American soldier in England waiting for the D-Day invasion. He got in a poker game with some Brits and the betting got intense. Being new to their currency he wasn't sure how much to raise 2 Pounds 10 bob with so he pushed a stack of money in the pot and said, " I'll see your pounds, and raise you a ton."
 
2013-04-10 10:38:24 PM

Nidiot: Jument: I have bad teeth. I'm now up to two implants. I floss like the devil, let me tell you. :(

Yep, floss, brush, mouthwash, the lot. Still earned one root canal and have one less tooth than I'd have liked. Know a guy who only does a bare minimum brush that lasts for less than ten seconds and yet he has perfect teeth. I also have a neighbour who was told by her dentist to stop using toothpaste entirely since it was abrading away her enamel. It isn't as simple as just taking care of them, you get born with high or low quality ones it seems.



Yeah, I think genetics does play a role. That being said, I can't imagine how someone could not floss at least once a day, just to remove anything lodged between the teeth. Just thinking about not flossing gives me the heebee-jeebees.

I've recently done a lot of research on dental health, and the current advice seems to be:

1) always floss before brushing
2) brush gently either using no toothpaste or a toothpaste with a low abrasive index
3) don't rinse after brushing, leave the residual toothpast in your mouth to maximize the fluoride exposure
4) brush in the morning before eating to lower bacteria count
5) if you do brush after eating, wait at least a half hour, because it takes that long for your teeth to repair the erosion caused by acidic foods

I apologize for this weirdly obsessive dental post--I've spent too much time at the dentist lately. It's a good thing my dentist is smoking hot.
 
2013-04-10 10:38:45 PM

Githerax: Um, every mammal drinks milk as a child.  Straight milk.  How is it odd to continue drinking milk throughout life?


I think the important part is this: as a child. Adult mammals don't drink milk. I drank gallons of milk when I was growing up, but I can no longer digest it. It does disgusting things to my intestines.
 
2013-04-10 10:38:49 PM

AxemRed: I don't get it... I don't do most of that crap either, and none of it enough to call it a habit. I think they're thinking of TV Americans. Or maybe I'm just weird.


This.
 
2013-04-10 10:39:00 PM

Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason. I am not white and seeing as most of the world does fine without milk drinkage if I ever have children they will abstain from it. I moved on to artificial 'milk' (almond or ohters).  I like cheese though so I must support milk production for yummy cheese. That said you will pour that, honey, sugar, or lemon in my tea when I am cold and gone. Ew.


God forbid you let your children do anything "white", whatever that means.
 
2013-04-10 10:41:46 PM
The one I agree with 1000% is #4.  That crap is just annoying as fark.  Its one of the main reasons I won't ride mass transit.  I remember having to ride the bus to my first job when I was too young to drive.  The ridership was 50% retarded (I don't mean that as a derogatory statement toward an unlikable but normal person, but as a diagnosis.  These folks had down syndrome and assorted other mental defects), another 25% were low-life, scumbag, criminal element types, another 10% were religious or political kooks, another 5% were old folks who would just talk your ear off about the old days if you let them and the small remainder were folks like me who had to be there and just wanted to be left in peace.  Unfortunately almost every single day one of these damn clowns would try to strike up a conversation with me.  If they were interesting topics it might have been worthwhile to talk, but it was always completely trivial crap.  Worse yet these folks seemed to be incapable of taking any sort of hint short of "fark off, asshole."
 
2013-04-10 10:43:15 PM
I recently traveled in UK and France and never encountered this in either. Folks talked to you if it was actually necessary, like to collect a train ticket or some such thing.  Otherwise they left me alone.
 
2013-04-10 10:43:16 PM
...

Jesus McSordid: I'm down with the whole drinking milk thing, but one American habit that makes me barf is non-dairy creamer. What's that shiat made from? Some kind of plastic?


It's either whiskey (pref. bourbon) or Bailey's.

Oh, wait, you mean that powdered sh*t?  I have no idea.  I don't know many people that actually use it, either way.  I think they came up with it in the'50's, and it's still on store shelves because it hasn't all been sold yet.  Kind of like Lewis Black's candy corn.
 
2013-04-10 10:43:22 PM
Mojongo:  My father told a story about being an American soldier in England waiting for the D-Day invasion. He got in a poker game with some Brits and the betting got intense. Being new to their currency he wasn't sure how much to raise 2 Pounds 10 bob with so he pushed a stack of money in the pot and said, " I'll see your pounds, and raise you a ton."

Did your Father win or lose?

/Feck it..Either way CSB.
 
2013-04-10 10:44:02 PM
British idea of drinking milk

i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-10 10:45:52 PM
4. Talking to strangers unprompted
This happens most often on public transport. I'll be on a plane or train in the U.S., minding my own business, when someone I've never met will try to start a conversation. Short of pretending to be deaf and/or French, there's nothing to be done.


Hell, we do it on the elevator (or "lift"), with the cashier at the grocery store, in line at the coffee shop, the waiter, etc. I really didn't notice how us Americans love frigging small talk until I lived in Asia for several years.  I was at SFO going through security and some TSA guy joked that he really hated my baseball cap (Dodgers) and I needed to take it off.  It was obviously meant as a joke, but I had been abroad so long I had sort of a blank look in response - the idea of a security person joking or making small talk was weird.

It's really must be an American thing.  I don't see people yapping with strangers in other countries.
 
2013-04-10 10:46:06 PM

Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass.


Uh, so, about those milking lessons I sent you money for...
 
2013-04-10 10:47:53 PM
Dear Britain,

Over 200 years ago, we threw you and yours to the curb. While we appreciate that our Neighbors to the North still hold y'all in high esteem, and they ARE a very polite people, we likewise, did so for a reason. In that time, we have managed not only to have American Standard English outstrip British Standard English as the language of business abroad, and our financial as well as our industrial capacity outstrip your own by several factors, and even came to y'all's rescue a few times, out of the kindness of our Yank hearts. Well, that and blistering economic opportunities, and personal satisfaction of pulling your bacon out of the fire. In that time, we've managed to pull together a fairly bellicose and belligerent bunch of ex-pats, immigrants, and natives together into a union, with a fair varied experience than your Isles managed to bring. We brought over Scots and Irish, your own kin and kith, the French, the Spanish, even some disenfranchised Mexicans, Cubans, and a few other Latinates including some Italians and even the Portuguese, and in the meantime some Nihonjin, Chinese, some of those Pakis that you REALLY seem down on, some of the Indians that you are still trying to come to terms with, along with our own native population, and knitted them into the fabric of our society. It hasn't been seamless, it has had hiccups, as the imported African labor that you so lovingly helped us with, and then abandoned in your own shores, because, let's face it, you just didn't really seem to have time for all that, since you could just import the tobacco and cotton that we produced anyway, and wash your hands of the human cost that you brought with the whole shebang, and let us figure out what to do with the results of your experiment.

You are surprised that we AREN'T something different than yourselves? We ARE separated by a shared language--one that we've seen fit to modify, since we developed manners that you find curious and oddly embracing and at the same time invasive. We HAVE had room to move, and to expand, while you have been cramped upon your Isles, while we have had to tame a goodish part of the New World, and that sort of means keeping in good touch with our neighbors, some of whom would have parted our skulls from our heads, or shot us and stolen our lands, or at least made us work them for them, or in fact did do exactly that, so yeah, we try to be friendly. We ARE a romantic ideal. We built those ideals upon those that you gifted to us, only we didn't just fantasize about them, we built a nation from them, while you wrote a few novels, and daydreamed. We are a social people, because we NEEDED those ties, and NEEDED those people, while you were defending your tiny yards from those dirty folks who might desire them for their own. We built a nation, while you insulated a nation. We were your expansive spirit, only we severed ties, and did so in the portions of the continent that were not just fertile, but ridiculously so, and lucky for you and a fair portion of the world, we export and share. We are what you could have been, had your aristocracy and monarchy hadn't melded to corporate interests so heavily. Lucky for you, and most of Europe, we ARE making some of those same mistakes, and now you can laugh at us heartily, while you invest and take advantage of the opportunities, and our largess, and our spirit to meddle in other folks' affairs, which in all honesty, we got by watching you.

America is Britain, writ large. We are what your empire might have been, and could have profited from, had your monarchy not been quite such douches. Do we confuse you? Certainly. Heck, the Canuckistanis confuse us, and they are more us than yourselves, but that's because for a long while, we had a LOT more to deal with than a nest of conflicting allegiances and political games on the continent, and an overextended Empire--that is making our own. In fairness, you can laugh at our misadventures now, only because you've made those mistakes, contracted your empire, and now keep only in the game, thanks to assistance from your former colonies, who overshadow you in just about every arena.

Tea comes hot, or it comes iced, and if it's iced, you might want to put some sugar in there, because in America, not putting sugar into tea is a sign of poor hospitality that company doesn't deserve the sugar. Learn that. We like our iced tea. We tip. We like to include our friends in things, and we are often huggers. We share. We like to think we are egalitarian. Ours is NOT making great shakes for that, but we like to pretend, and we make great noises to at least try. It shapes our social context. We DO have decent curry, but on top of that, we have Cajun, we have a whole raft of Southern and South West cooking, our Yankee fare is something to try, along with a whole next of local cuisines. Seriously. And maybe let up on the affection for putting vegetables through the f*cking Auto-da-fe? Seriously. Our Italian and French fellows put us onto the idea that you don't have to cook a vegetable like a f*cking pork roast in the middle of a trichinosis outbreak. It's spinach. It can be just wilted, and actually more tasty if it's not cooked down to the point of liquidity. Same with squash. You do realize that beans, corn and squash are the Holy Trinity in native cuisine here, right? We KNOW what we're doing with the f*ckers. Let us actually show you the way...


Loving regards,

Hubie
 
2013-04-10 10:48:53 PM
Mmmm... Cold milk, neat...
 
2013-04-10 10:50:14 PM
img.ctrlv.in.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-04-10 10:51:34 PM
My guess as to what #1 was, was actually #8.

It's a revolting habit, all the same.
 
2013-04-10 10:54:12 PM
 
2013-04-10 10:55:29 PM

Ima4nic8or: The one I agree with 1000% is #4.  That crap is just annoying as fark.  Its one of the main reasons I won't ride mass transit.  I remember having to ride the bus to my first job when I was too young to drive.  The ridership was 50% retarded (I don't mean that as a derogatory statement toward an unlikable but normal person, but as a diagnosis.  These folks had down syndrome and assorted other mental defects), another 25% were low-life, scumbag, criminal element types, another 10% were religious or political kooks, another 5% were old folks who would just talk your ear off about the old days if you let them and the small remainder were folks like me who had to be there and just wanted to be left in peace.  Unfortunately almost every single day one of these damn clowns would try to strike up a conversation with me.  If they were interesting topics it might have been worthwhile to talk, but it was always completely trivial crap.  Worse yet these folks seemed to be incapable of taking any sort of hint short of "fark off, asshole."


The one I find weird is when you are reading, and a person thinks that's an invitation to ask you about what you're reading. I mean, would you pull someone's earphones off and ask what they were listening to?
 
2013-04-10 10:55:29 PM

Ima4nic8or: The one I agree with 1000% is #4.  That crap is just annoying as fark.  Its one of the main reasons I won't ride mass transit.  I remember having to ride the bus to my first job when I was too young to drive.  The ridership was 50% retarded (I don't mean that as a derogatory statement toward an unlikable but normal person, but as a diagnosis.  These folks had down syndrome and assorted other mental defects), another 25% were low-life, scumbag, criminal element types, another 10% were religious or political kooks, another 5% were old folks who would just talk your ear off about the old days if you let them and the small remainder were folks like me who had to be there and just wanted to be left in peace.  Unfortunately almost every single day one of these damn clowns would try to strike up a conversation with me.  If they were interesting topics it might have been worthwhile to talk, but it was always completely trivial crap.  Worse yet these folks seemed to be incapable of taking any sort of hint short of "fark off, asshole."


I've found that a newspaper can work wonders in this regard.  Of course, there are on occassion people who want to talk anway, and of course they'll be on the far, FAR end of the Christ-what-an-asshole spectrum, but for just about everyone else it's an adequate signal, in my experience.

Also, someone upthread mentioned English mustard.  If you meant Collman's, it can be found here, you just have to look a bit.  (AND IT'S F*CKING AWESOME.)
 
2013-04-10 10:57:37 PM

doyner: Uchiha_Cycliste: violentsalvation: 7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea.

Barf.

Beat me to it, I was going to post this EXACTLY as you did... it's like you read my mind. Spooky.

WTF is wrong with milk in hot tea?  Pretty yummy.

But then, I grew up (in part) in England...


When Mrs Spldng & I visited the Brutish Isles (actually Ireland) years ago on our honeymoon, we were advised of two things.
1. The Irish cannot make a decent cup of coffee.
2. You are best to take tea and add milk and/or sugar exactly as you would your coffee at home.

This worked amazingly well.

When all else fails, carry a small jar of instant coffee to kick the coffee one is served up to acceptable strength.
 
2013-04-10 10:57:44 PM

W.C.fields forever: Did your Father win or lose?

  As far as the poker game I don't know but he survived the war and met my mother, an Army nurse, in liberated Paris.
 
2013-04-10 10:58:06 PM
TASTYELOI

I apologize for this weirdly obsessive dental post--I've spent too much time at the dentist lately. It's a good thing my dentist is smoking hot.


Sounds about right.At first it didn't.
/I read that as 'My dentist is smoking pot".
//Smoking after this post.
///Flossing during.
 
2013-04-10 11:00:42 PM

Fano: The one I find weird is when you are reading, and a person thinks that's an invitation to ask you about what you're reading. I mean, would you pull someone's earphones off and ask what they were listening to?


HI!  Wat'cha readin'?

/lotta simulposts today, no?  Expected in the boobies thread...
 
2013-04-10 11:01:33 PM

Clock Spider Jerusalem: farkmedown: 7: agree - dairy milk by itself is sour, no matter how it's treated

//soy milk preferred in everything but latte and cheese

soy milk is sugary.


Silk Organic Unsweetened is my favorite.
 
2013-04-10 11:01:43 PM

starsrift: My guess as to what #1 was, was actually #8.

It's a revolting habit, all the same.


Well, gluttony is bad.  But in the mornings I need the supersized caffeinated sugary carbonated refreshment.  It just enhances my ability to engage strangers with outpourings of compulsory sentimentality.
 
2013-04-10 11:02:11 PM

Ima4nic8or: The one I agree with 1000% is #4.  That crap is just annoying as fark.  Its one of the main reasons I won't ride mass transit.  I remember having to ride the bus to my first job when I was too young to drive.  The ridership was 50% retarded (I don't mean that as a derogatory statement toward an unlikable but normal person, but as a diagnosis.  These folks had down syndrome and assorted other mental defects), another 25% were low-life, scumbag, criminal element types, another 10% were religious or political kooks, another 5% were old folks who would just talk your ear off about the old days if you let them and the small remainder were folks like me who had to be there and just wanted to be left in peace.  Unfortunately almost every single day one of these damn clowns would try to strike up a conversation with me.  If they were interesting topics it might have been worthwhile to talk, but it was always completely trivial crap.  Worse yet these folks seemed to be incapable of taking any sort of hint short of "fark off, asshole."


So sorry to hear that you were forced to socialize with other humans on a daily basis.  It must have been AWFUL.  Especially the lonely old people, who just wanted someone to talk to before they spent the rest of their day stuck in their home with no one calling them.  I rode a bus for several years to my adult job, and I remember meeting some very nice people on the bus- it's usually the dbag who don't acknowledge you exist.  Like the ones who wouldn't look me in the eye and plugged their headphones in when I was 9 months pregnant and standing up because all of the seats were taken.  I'm sure they noticed when I fainted, but they still refused to look at me.  Because we aren't supposed to communicate with each other, you know.
 
2013-04-10 11:03:06 PM

Mojongo: W.C.fields forever: Did your Father win or lose?
  As far as the poker game I don't know but he survived the war and met my mother, an Army nurse, in liberated Paris.


Winner..winner..
 
2013-04-10 11:04:24 PM

Mad_Radhu: To ne fair to the English, they have had some hooligans who gave milk drinkers a bad name.

[imageshack.us image 700x555]



Appy-polly-lodgies droog.  A young man whose principle interests are rape, Ultraviolence, and Beethoven.
 
2013-04-10 11:05:54 PM

Fano: Ima4nic8or: The one I agree with 1000% is #4.  That crap is just annoying as fark.  Its one of the main reasons I won't ride mass transit.  I remember having to ride the bus to my first job when I was too young to drive.  The ridership was 50% retarded (I don't mean that as a derogatory statement toward an unlikable but normal person, but as a diagnosis.  These folks had down syndrome and assorted other mental defects), another 25% were low-life, scumbag, criminal element types, another 10% were religious or political kooks, another 5% were old folks who would just talk your ear off about the old days if you let them and the small remainder were folks like me who had to be there and just wanted to be left in peace.  Unfortunately almost every single day one of these damn clowns would try to strike up a conversation with me.  If they were interesting topics it might have been worthwhile to talk, but it was always completely trivial crap.  Worse yet these folks seemed to be incapable of taking any sort of hint short of "fark off, asshole."

The one I find weird is when you are reading, and a person thinks that's an invitation to ask you about what you're reading. I mean, would you pull someone's earphones off and ask what they were listening to?


i suppose that might be annoying, but they might just want to meet you.

imagine all the friends you'd have if you never spoke to anyone that wasn't already your friend.
 
2013-04-10 11:08:11 PM
I'm not sure I could go on in life without at least one cup of milk a day.  I had TWO cousins that wound up as dairy princesses in New York, and have been subjected to the programming of the dairy industrial complex's (DIC's) programming that tells me I need 3 cups of milk per day for strong bones and teeth.
 
2013-04-10 11:09:32 PM

studs up: Delay: gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?

Nope. An English breakfast must include Very dry white toast. Here's a picture of a dryer:
[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x333]

Marmalade.
Butter.
Eggs.
Fried tomatoes.
Bangers.
Tea or coffee.
Optional: bacon.

Optional? No wonder the sun sets on the Empire.


When the Brits say 'bacon' they mean 'ham.' When they say 'streaky bacon' they mean 'bacon.'
 
2013-04-10 11:11:28 PM

W.C.fields forever: TASTYELOI

I apologize for this weirdly obsessive dental post--I've spent too much time at the dentist lately. It's a good thing my dentist is smoking hot.

Sounds about right.At first it didn't.
/I read that as 'My dentist is smoking pot".
//Smoking after this post.
///Flossing during.


I have a weird memory--which I'm certain must be wrong--of being about 15-years-old and having an attractive dental hygienist ask me if I got high. I know it must have been my horny teenage self misintepreting what she said, but still, I like to think she was coming on to me.

Or maybe she was just a pothead looking to score some weed.
 
2013-04-10 11:17:19 PM

Ima4nic8or: I recently traveled in UK and France and never encountered this in either. Folks talked to you if it was actually necessary, like to collect a train ticket or some such thing.  Otherwise they left me alone.


i lived in europe (mostly the UK) for a few years.

if i make eye contact with somebody, i believe it is polite to nod, smile or otherwise acknowledge the other person.
you don't have to say anything, but it would seem rude to look through them as though they didn't exist.

when traveling on a train from brussels to hasselt (belgium), i made eye contact with a group of students (or i assumed from their ages they went to university), and politely said "(good) morning", as i would here, thinking they probably spoke some english. they responded in english and asked politely why i was visiting....
good thing i am an american that speaks to strangers, because the train i was on splits into two trains that go in different directions at one stop, and i was on the wrong end of the train.
 
2013-04-10 11:20:21 PM

CptnSpldng: studs up: Delay: gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?

Nope. An English breakfast must include Very dry white toast. Here's a picture of a dryer:
[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x333]

Marmalade.
Butter.
Eggs.
Fried tomatoes.
Bangers.
Tea or coffee.
Optional: bacon.

Optional? No wonder the sun sets on the Empire.

When the Brits say 'bacon' they mean 'ham.' When they say 'streaky bacon' they mean 'bacon.'


not just streaky bacon....smoked streaky bacon...because they also sell flavorless streaky bacon.
and not just smoked streaky bacon, rindless smoked streaky bacon.
and who the hell eats bacon with the rind on. why the fark do i have to ask you to take it off?
 
2013-04-10 11:23:29 PM

Notabunny: Superrad: So, we eat a lot and are outgoing. Yep, that's America.

So at breakfast a couple weeks ago, my 9yo son whips off his shirt without saying a word and starts making armpit farts. I literally blew milk out my nose. I said I'd tried a hundred times as a kid, but never learned how to do that. So my son graciously gave us all lessons at the breakfast table. Within about 10 minutes, my 6yo daughter was ready for show and tell. I'm still getting lessons.


That's hysterical. So weird, and awesome. Your kids will turn out just fine.
 
2013-04-10 11:24:11 PM
OUTRAGE!!!  A good English breakfast with three kinds of meat, at a minimum, takes more than one person to prepare. It's one of the few, very few, culinary gifts from the British Isles and shouldn't be disparaged if only because it involves bacon..
 
2013-04-10 11:28:35 PM

Omahawg: Omahawg: you know the best thing about the english?


One out of seven girls is attractive?
 
2013-04-10 11:29:03 PM

Greylight: OUTRAGE!!!  A good English breakfast with three kinds of meat, at a minimum, takes more than one person to prepare. It's one of the few, very few, culinary gifts from the British Isles and shouldn't be disparaged if only because it involves bacon..


if they added hash browns, they'd have a winner.
without potatoes (hash, cottage, obrien or potato pancakes....) breakfast sucks.
f*uck adkins.
 
2013-04-10 11:30:14 PM
Number 10 is a lie. I know for a fact Brits eat breakfast together.
screenagekicks.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-10 11:31:13 PM

Popular Opinion: Fano: Ima4nic8or: The one I agree with 1000% is #4.  That crap is just annoying as fark.  Its one of the main reasons I won't ride mass transit.  I remember having to ride the bus to my first job when I was too young to drive.  The ridership was 50% retarded (I don't mean that as a derogatory statement toward an unlikable but normal person, but as a diagnosis.  These folks had down syndrome and assorted other mental defects), another 25% were low-life, scumbag, criminal element types, another 10% were religious or political kooks, another 5% were old folks who would just talk your ear off about the old days if you let them and the small remainder were folks like me who had to be there and just wanted to be left in peace.  Unfortunately almost every single day one of these damn clowns would try to strike up a conversation with me.  If they were interesting topics it might have been worthwhile to talk, but it was always completely trivial crap.  Worse yet these folks seemed to be incapable of taking any sort of hint short of "fark off, asshole."

The one I find weird is when you are reading, and a person thinks that's an invitation to ask you about what you're reading. I mean, would you pull someone's earphones off and ask what they were listening to?

i suppose that might be annoying, but they might just want to meet you.

imagine all the friends you'd have if you never spoke to anyone that wasn't already your friend.


Yes, but there are social signals for when you want to engage. I'm not a babysitter for bored extroverts. If I feel like chatting I'll start looking around.
 
2013-04-10 11:31:20 PM

GungFu: First things first....Tipping.

Learn to farkin' type.

1: American Football. Why all the protection? Why is it called 'foot' ball? Why are you still playing Gary Glitter songs?
2: It's farking St. Paddy's Day, you dipshiat. P-A-D-D-Y.
3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.
4. Lack of passports.
5. I'm not deaf. No need to talk so loudly. Also, wise-ass black American people in films are funny. In real life, not so much.


"Burglarization"? You've actually heard someone say that? As opposed to burglary... Odd. It's funny that something I've *never* heard in decades in all parts of America is one of your pet peeves about Americans.
 
2013-04-10 11:31:32 PM

Popular Opinion: CptnSpldng: studs up: Delay: gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?

Nope. An English breakfast must include Very dry white toast. Here's a picture of a dryer:
[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x333]

Marmalade.
Butter.
Eggs.
Fried tomatoes.
Bangers.
Tea or coffee.
Optional: bacon.

Optional? No wonder the sun sets on the Empire.

When the Brits say 'bacon' they mean 'ham.' When they say 'streaky bacon' they mean 'bacon.'

not just streaky bacon....smoked streaky bacon...because they also sell flavorless streaky bacon.
and not just smoked streaky bacon, rindless smoked streaky bacon.
and who the hell eats bacon with the rind on. why the fark do i have to ask you to take it off?


Are you looking for breakfast and a happy ending?
 
2013-04-10 11:33:15 PM

jpo2269: He left off the list "work" and "enjoy iced tea."

The only way I can get iced tea when I visit the UK is to order hot tea and a glass or two of ice.Drives me nuts that you cannot even find iced tea at the bigger hotels....  That being said, it does give me an excuse to splurge on Lucazade which can no longer be imported into the US....


Outside the USA, there are a couple of Asian countries (Thailand for one) that drink tea cold, and that's about it.  Most of the world drinks tea hot and doesn't even conceive of drinking tea with ice.  It's very hard to get ice tea most countries.

Ice tea and cornbread are the two things I miss most when I'm outside the USA.
 
2013-04-10 11:37:35 PM

CptnSpldng: Popular Opinion: CptnSpldng: studs up: Delay: gambitsgirl: I love milk in hit tea

But

Wtf is up with an English breakfast?!?! Tomatoes? Mushrooms? 4 kinds of meat?

Nope. An English breakfast must include Very dry white toast. Here's a picture of a dryer:
[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x333]

Marmalade.
Butter.
Eggs.
Fried tomatoes.
Bangers.
Tea or coffee.
Optional: bacon.

Optional? No wonder the sun sets on the Empire.

When the Brits say 'bacon' they mean 'ham.' When they say 'streaky bacon' they mean 'bacon.'

not just streaky bacon....smoked streaky bacon...because they also sell flavorless streaky bacon.
and not just smoked streaky bacon, rindless smoked streaky bacon.
and who the hell eats bacon with the rind on. why the fark do i have to ask you to take it off?

Are you looking for breakfast and a happy ending?


Heaven Is Where:

The French are the chefs
The Italians are the lovers
The British are the police
The Germans are the mechanics
And the Swiss make everything run on time

Hell is Where:

The British are the chefs
The Swiss are the lovers
The French are the mechanics
The Italians make everything run on time
And the Germans are the police

The British contributions to cuisine are dire...
 
2013-04-10 11:38:36 PM

SirEattonHogg: 2) Their sense of humor.  I like dry humor, but brits seem to have a mean sense of humor.  Especially when they are drunk, which is a lot. Or it rather appears mean to this Yank.


Yeah, this is fairly universal across the Commonwealth and goes over with Americans like a lead balloon.
 
2013-04-10 11:39:57 PM
I like how dumb the brits are re: ice.

Get a bigger cup if you're worried about not getting enough soda, and just try not being retarded ehen drinking and the ice won't hit you in the face
 
2013-04-10 11:43:20 PM

markie_farkie: That, and spending more on cosmetic dentistry than the rest of the world combined..


One of measures for judging public spending is the cost of braces. A billionaires yacht or and F35 costs about as much as braces for 50,000 kids.
 
2013-04-10 11:47:49 PM
4. Talking to strangers unprompted
This happens most often on public transport. I'll be on a plane or train in the U.S., minding my own business, when someone I've never met will try to start a conversation. Short of pretending to be deaf and/or French, there's nothing to be done.


This is more regional. Only really happens in the South. In the Northeast people think you're a crazy person if you do this.

7. Drinking milk
Moo juice is meant for putting on cereal, adding to pancake batter and pouring in tea. Americans must have missed the memo because they drink the stuff neat. To me, this is only slightly less absurd than eating a plate of salt and pepper for dinner.


I assume this is because the National Milk Producers Federation has done such a good job convincing Americans that milk is an elixer of life, and that every child must drink 3 cups a day. IIRC, they finally got in trouble a few years ago for their baseless claims about the health benefits of milk.
 
2013-04-10 11:50:07 PM
5p for a packet of ketchup?

yeah, right.

scones?
wtf? it's a stale biscuit with sugar on it for chrissake.
 
2013-04-10 11:51:31 PM

Delay: RatOmeter: I don't know of any particular reason that he would be expected to dislike "America" so much.

Frankly, most Scots guys I know don't give one shiat about America, about the same as America gives about their land.


I don't like America very much, but then, I lived in Nebraska for a decade. That'll shiat on any good feeling that could possibly exist.
 
2013-04-10 11:51:52 PM

KatjaMouse: Notabunny: Yeah, I'm not sure what it is, but we stand out. Our clothes are a little different, but I think it's more out body movements. Heads up, big arm movements, long strides, etc. You can pick out an American a block away.

My cousin who just moved to Britain says something to that affect. She's tiny and quite petite but her new husbands friends apparently comment on how "American" she is walking down the street. The way she declares to people around her by her stride that she owns this block even though 75% of her neighbors could probably wad her up like a used tissue. They apparently describe the walking style as "wantonly confident."


That's fascinating. I know I walk that way on the street - as opposed to at home - deliberately to tell muggers that I'm not a victim. They actually teach people that in self-defense courses. Do British muggers have more subtle "I'm a victim!" body language cues?
 
2013-04-10 11:53:01 PM

Mithiwithi: homelessdude: I cannot take this seriously until the Brits stop driving on the wrong side of the road.

Then maybe an international group of us can sit down over a huge breakfast and drink moo-juice and discuss methods to raise the standards of dental health in the UK.

There's nothing wrong with British dental health, they just don't spend tens of thousands of dollars putting their kids in braces for years until every tooth is exactly in the "right" position. As long as there's no cavities or gingivitis, who cares?

/I never understood the bit about Max Quordlepleen, the emcee for Milliways, having teeth like a "polished bay window" until I thought about it in light of Britain's lack of interest in cosmetic dentistry



heh heh...I hear ya and agree. The cosmetic and orhtodontic dental industry in the US is nuts.

I was just throwing a silly jab....about as serious as complaining about people driving on the left side of the road
 
2013-04-10 11:54:57 PM

r1niceboy: Delay: RatOmeter: I don't know of any particular reason that he would be expected to dislike "America" so much.

Frankly, most Scots guys I know don't give one shiat about America, about the same as America gives about their land.

I don't like America very much, but then, I lived in Nebraska for a decade. That'll shiat on any good feeling that could possibly exist.


gosh, who moves to nebraska?
that is someplace people are from, not headed.
gotta be nice if you like open spaces though.
 
2013-04-10 11:58:35 PM
1. Flossing: nice to start off as a stereotype.

2. Compulsive Baking: It's always nice to have a pie or cake or something in the kitchen.

3. Sending personalized holiday cards: honestly, I really don't get this one.

4. Talking to strangers unprompted: I do this.  When I traveled in Denmark, this was one of those culture shock things.  I pass someone on the street here in Texas, we say "hi" and move on.  Do it in Europe and people just look at you as if you're nuts.  My ex explained to me, from the Danish point of view, that "You Americans like to make noise whenever you can." What's wrong with a friendly hi to a stranger?

5. Whooping: This was also brought up when I was in Denmark.  Again, it was "We don't whoop or cheer here in Denmark, like you loud Americans."  Honestly, I think half of Europe needs to pull the stick out of your collective asses.  I would say just Denmark, but here's a Brit making the same complaint, so I'm thinking it might be the continent at this point.  As for the whooping, at first I had no problem with it, then I went to a company that was whooping all the time and trying to see who could whoop the loudest.  I am no longer associated with that company.

6. Compulsive sentimentality: This surprises me.  When I was in high school I was told that we really aren't like that here in the U.S. compared to Europe because we associate everything with sex and over there such things weren't viewed sexually.

7. Drinking Milk: that's just nuts to see it as nothing but drinking cream and sugar.

8. Ordering supersized portions: It's great to have an option for more food for those who eat more.

9. Taking home leftovers: Hey, I paid for a meal, what's wrong with taking home what I didn't finish?  The restaurant isn't going to lower the price because I didn't finish my dinner.

10. Eating breakfast together: Growing up I ate Sunday breakfast and every dinner with my family.  I liked it, it was great.  It would actually be one of those things that I would do if I had children.  Even when I was in Denmark, the ex, myself and her family would eat all meals, including breakfast, would be with the entire family.
 
2013-04-10 11:59:57 PM
# 6 is the biggest.  Collectively, there isn't anything Brits hate more than earnestness.  When Brits are warm and friendly and polite but don't actually mean it, Americans think it's hypocrisy.  But it does serve a purpose as a sort of social glue.  Imagining a world where everyone had to be literally true all the time makes for a pretty dull picture.  One of the many reasons Brit comedy will always trump anything on this side of the pond.
 
2013-04-11 12:01:47 AM
Yeah! Why the fark are we  sentimental, friendly, supersized ordering, milk drinking, breakfast eaters?!? No wonder the world hates us.
 
2013-04-11 12:17:36 AM

r1niceboy: Delay: RatOmeter: I don't know of any particular reason that he would be expected to dislike "America" so much.

Frankly, most Scots guys I know don't give one shiat about America, about the same as America gives about their land.

I don't like America very much, but then, I lived in Nebraska for a decade. That'll shiat on any good feeling that could possibly exist.

Well then, please do America a favor and drop dead. Thank You.
 
2013-04-11 12:19:28 AM

ciberido: Outside the USA, there are a couple of Asian countries (Thailand for one) that drink tea cold, and that's about it. Most of the world drinks tea hot and doesn't even conceive of drinking tea with ice. It's very hard to get ice tea most countries.

Ice tea and cornbread are the two things I miss most when I'm outside the USA.


How do you feel about reds and 90 proof?
 
2013-04-11 12:20:02 AM

Githerax: Um, every mammal drinks milk as a child.  Straight milk.  How is it odd to continue drinking milk throughout life?


Well, we are somewhat odd in that we are the only mammals that continue to drink it into adulthood.
 
2013-04-11 12:23:30 AM

ciberido: jpo2269: He left off the list "work" and "enjoy iced tea."

The only way I can get iced tea when I visit the UK is to order hot tea and a glass or two of ice.Drives me nuts that you cannot even find iced tea at the bigger hotels....  That being said, it does give me an excuse to splurge on Lucazade which can no longer be imported into the US....

Outside the USA, there are a couple of Asian countries (Thailand for one) that drink tea cold, and that's about it.  Most of the world drinks tea hot and doesn't even conceive of drinking tea with ice.  It's very hard to get ice tea most countries.

Ice tea and cornbread are the two things I miss most when I'm outside the USA.


i just teach them ho to make it.

bring me tea. very stong tea

bring me a glass and a bucket of ice.

fill the glass with ice.
add tea.
if it is still hot and melts the ice, add more ice.
 
2013-04-11 12:27:54 AM
Lucas wiring the queen blah blah blah

images.thetruthaboutcars.com
 
2013-04-11 12:35:57 AM

legion_of_doo: RatOmeter: I guess Scotts might not be considered British, but after spending a couple of work weeks in Beijing, then flying south to Liuzhou for more of the same. Checked into the hotel, got my key and slogged myself to the elevator and some other guy got in too. As the "lift" was in transit, he said in a thick Scotts brogue "I wouldn't be caught dead in America". Not sure how he had pegged me, maybe my 501s or maybe he overheard me at the main desk - anyway, I just ignored him.

Where is Scotland? My American geography is kind of terrible...

OH, I SEE. IT'S A LITTLE PIECE OF THE UNITED KINGDOM, BIATCHES!

/If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German, singing, "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!"



Instead, they sing "Two world wars and One world cup, do-da, do-da......"
 
2013-04-11 12:41:05 AM

bingethinker: Githerax: Um, every mammal drinks milk as a child.  Straight milk.  How is it odd to continue drinking milk throughout life?

I think the important part is this: as a child. Adult mammals don't drink milk. I drank gallons of milk when I was growing up, but I can no longer digest it. It does disgusting things to my intestines.


The "can no longer digest it" thing doesn't apply to everyone. After many years of evolution, a lot of adult humans can, and lactose intolerance is the exception, not the norm, for virtually everyone of northern European ancestry.

Oh, and a lot of other adult mammals are more than happy to drink milk straight given a chance- give your cat a saucer of milk or cream sometime, see how that ends. Typically, you'll get a delighted cat who'll immediately start expecting some every night. The old trope isn't wrong there.
 
2013-04-11 12:41:16 AM

oldfarthenry: More like `ten habits a Yank with his head up his ass think is stereo-typically not Britishy'.


The article was written by a Brit you wanker.

Superrad: So, we eat a lot and are outgoing. Yep, that's America.

A

nd seriously what's wrong with that?
 
2013-04-11 12:49:02 AM

Popular Opinion: Greylight: OUTRAGE!!!  A good English breakfast with three kinds of meat, at a minimum, takes more than one person to prepare. It's one of the few, very few, culinary gifts from the British Isles and shouldn't be disparaged if only because it involves bacon..

if they added hash browns, they'd have a winner.
without potatoes (hash, cottage, obrien or potato pancakes....) breakfast sucks.
f*uck adkins.


You might enjoy Ireland. A traditional Irish breakfast includes:

Hash Browns
A Thick Slab of Bacon
Sausage
Roasted Tomatoes (actually really good)
Black and White Pudding (Which is really just sausage made from who knows whats)
Toast or Soda Bread, maybe a muffin
Eggs
Baked Beans.

It's something you get at a hotel or order at a restaurant, not something you actually make at home, so when you order one, you really do get most, if not all of that on your plate.
 
2013-04-11 12:49:12 AM
I baked cranberry and date scones two days ago and yeast rolls (sesame, poppy, salt and onion) today.

I also have a yellow magnetic ribbon my car.

I am an American.
 
2013-04-11 12:51:07 AM
www.ukcc.org.uk

FARKERS: I am disappoint
 
2013-04-11 12:53:29 AM

cptjeff: Popular Opinion: Greylight: OUTRAGE!!!  A good English breakfast with three kinds of meat, at a minimum, takes more than one person to prepare. It's one of the few, very few, culinary gifts from the British Isles and shouldn't be disparaged if only because it involves bacon..

if they added hash browns, they'd have a winner.
without potatoes (hash, cottage, obrien or potato pancakes....) breakfast sucks.
f*uck adkins.

You might enjoy Ireland. A traditional Irish breakfast includes:

Hash Browns
A Thick Slab of Bacon
Sausage
Roasted Tomatoes (actually really good)
Black and White Pudding (Which is really just sausage made from who knows whats)
Toast or Soda Bread, maybe a muffin
Eggs
Baked Beans.

It's something you get at a hotel or order at a restaurant, not something you actually make at home, so when you order one, you really do get most, if not all of that on your plate.


oh yeah!

i've been to limerick a bunch of times for work.
 
2013-04-11 12:55:27 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: I baked cranberry and date scones two days ago and yeast rolls (sesame, poppy, salt and onion) today.

I also have a yellow magnetic ribbon my car.

I am an American.


isn't a scone just a biscuit with sugar (and other stuff) cooked until it is hard?
 
2013-04-11 01:02:11 AM
I have a British mother-in-law so I'm getting a kick...
 
2013-04-11 01:10:57 AM

Death Whisper: r1niceboy: Delay: RatOmeter: I don't know of any particular reason that he would be expected to dislike "America" so much.

Frankly, most Scots guys I know don't give one shiat about America, about the same as America gives about their land.

I don't like America very much, but then, I lived in Nebraska for a decade. That'll shiat on any good feeling that could possibly exist.
Well then, please do America a favor and drop dead. Thank You.


Naw, I think I'll stay alive. Your umbrage keeps me warm at night.
 
2013-04-11 01:11:36 AM

Popular Opinion: TheShavingofOccam123: I baked cranberry and date scones two days ago and yeast rolls (sesame, poppy, salt and onion) today.

I also have a yellow magnetic ribbon my car.

I am an American.

isn't a scone just a biscuit with sugar (and other stuff) cooked until it is hard?


Sort of. No yeast, baking powder and cream of tartar for rising. Not too sweet but they should rise pretty well.
 
2013-04-11 01:16:54 AM

Githerax: Um, every mammal drinks milk as a child.  Straight milk.  How is it odd to continue drinking milk throughout life?



Your mom didn't mind, but mine put up a big fight when I tried.
 
2013-04-11 01:32:29 AM
11) Shooting someone to death: accidentally; on purpose; because I was mad at his dog; because I was mad at her husband; because I was mad at his wife; because I lack the mental skills to carry on a reasonable conversation; because the National Rifle Association said it was OK to; because I didn't like the color of his skin; because I didn't like the color of his wife's skin; because I didn't like where they worship; because I didn't like where they don't worship; because I like violence; because I'm impotent; because he had it coming.
 
2013-04-11 01:41:55 AM

Huck And Molly Ziegler: 11) Shooting someone to death: accidentally; on purpose; because I was mad at his dog; because I was mad at her husband; because I was mad at his wife; because I lack the mental skills to carry on a reasonable conversation; because the National Rifle Association said it was OK to; because I didn't like the color of his skin; because I didn't like the color of his wife's skin; because I didn't like where they worship; because I didn't like where they don't worship; because I like violence; because I'm impotent; because he had it coming.


Mostly in Britain, it's poison at the country house over high tea, if Miss Marple has taught me anything.
 
2013-04-11 01:46:34 AM

Huck And Molly Ziegler: 11) Shooting someone to death: accidentally; on purpose; because I was mad at his dog; because I was mad at her husband; because I was mad at his wife; because I lack the mental skills to carry on a reasonable conversation; because the National Rifle Association said it was OK to; because I didn't like the color of his skin; because I didn't like the color of his wife's skin; because I didn't like where they worship; because I didn't like where they don't worship; because I like violence; because I'm impotent; because he had it coming.


Excuse me mum, you seemed to have spilled your self righteous indignation all over my jeans. May I borrow your frilly little hankie to wipe it off what what?
 
2013-04-11 02:04:23 AM
Whenever I read a BBC article about the US, I feel pretty confident that it was written by a correspondent who was sent here for six months and spent nearly all of that time socializing with only six Americans living in Brooklyn.
 
2013-04-11 02:14:30 AM

Mojongo: RINO: If fries are "chips", then what do you call actual chips? Also, why is the English muffin not a muffin?
 As I recall potato chips were called "crisps",  trucks are lorries, car trunks and hoods are boots and bonnets, wrenches are spanners, bathroom is the loo, Sanford and Son were originally Steptoe and Son, and the name "English" muffin was coined by the colonists. My father told a story about being an American soldier in England waiting for the D-Day invasion. He got in a poker game with some Brits and the betting got intense. Being new to their currency he wasn't sure how much to raise 2 Pounds 10 bob with so he pushed a stack of money in the pot and said, " I'll see your pounds, and raise you a ton."


That is an awesome anecdote.
 
2013-04-11 02:23:35 AM

farkmedown: 7: agree - dairy milk by itself is sour, no matter how it's treated

//soy milkjuice preferred in everything but latte and cheese


FTFY
 
2013-04-11 02:52:45 AM

Maggie_Luna: I hate milk. It always tasted like ass. I think it very 'white' to drink milk for some reason.


IIRC lactose intolerance in adults is far less common in white people than in the rest of the world. That being said, I myself am what is known as fish-belly white and don't have any adults in my family who will drink a glass of the stuff. Unless it's chocolate milk, but then they're all absolute chocolate maniacs who I could probably get to taste poo if they had a head cold and I claimed it was almond whip.
 
2013-04-11 03:26:11 AM

SirEattonHogg: 3) The term "middle class", which means apparently means upper class minus the aristocracy.  It was weird hearing my British colleagues saying stuff like "Oh his family is quite posh.  Very middle class."  I guess we all aspire to be middle class.


I don't understand the American concept of middle class, which as near as I can tell includes anyone who is neither impoverished nor a plutocrat. It's so broad as to lose all meaning. What is even more bizarre to my ears is the tendency of American politicians to talk about "ordinary middle class Americans." Again, very odd. Middle class isn't ordinary.

Now, getting to what you're talking about, that isn't quite it either. That would be the upper middle class, which is an entirely different beast. I'm middle class and while some might find me posh, I'm far from wealthy and even though I have lived in a very posh, upper middle class/upper class neighbourhood I never fit in at all.

It's difficult to explain exactly what defines (to the British) middle class. I heard someone on the radio suggest that if you had a library card while you were a child, you were middle class. My own personal definition is that if you were raised with the understanding that you were definitely going to university, you are middle class.

I think Americans use collar colours to define the same thing. Blue collar = working class, white collar = middle class. But I may be mistaken about this. I've lived for a long time in both countries but still don't quite understand American culture.

Oh, and while I'm on the subject, the whooping is incredibly annoying and the fake smiles and forced friendliness is insulting and creepy. Because it isn't real. I don't mind a chat, but I do mind the dishonesty.
 
2013-04-11 03:31:12 AM
How did "voting republican" not make the list of 10 weird american habits the rest fo the world can't understand?
 
2013-04-11 03:32:30 AM

justaguy76: How did "voting republican" not make the list of 10 weird american habits the rest fo the world can't understand?


somebody has to pay federal income taxes.
 
2013-04-11 03:42:04 AM

r1niceboy: I do realise that parts of the US do have a fairly gleeful attitude towards incest, which is rare in Britain.


Well Chompers to be fair our countries have very different definitions of "incest".

Here it's unacceptable to knowingly have relations with any family member no matter how distant the relation.  In your country anything beyond 1st cousin is considered perfectly acceptable.

F'ing disgusting.

Queen Elizabeth and that dopey husband that silently follows her around in an apparent drunken stupor is her third cousin.  Creepy.  So laugh away cousin farker.
 
2013-04-11 04:02:30 AM

Abox: Is weekday family breakfast a real thing for anyone?  During the week I would think people just eat as they go and maybe on the weekend dad makes a family breakfast.


Yes. And we have four children and two jobs. Granted, it doesn't take any more than an hour, but it's real.
 
2013-04-11 04:06:35 AM
Threads like this always remind me of banjos and canoeing and pig entertainment.
 
2013-04-11 04:29:17 AM

serialsuicidebomber: legion_of_doo: RatOmeter: I guess Scotts might not be considered British, but after spending a couple of work weeks in Beijing, then flying south to Liuzhou for more of the same. Checked into the hotel, got my key and slogged myself to the elevator and some other guy got in too. As the "lift" was in transit, he said in a thick Scotts brogue "I wouldn't be caught dead in America". Not sure how he had pegged me, maybe my 501s or maybe he overheard me at the main desk - anyway, I just ignored him.

Where is Scotland? My American geography is kind of terrible...

OH, I SEE. IT'S A LITTLE PIECE OF THE UNITED KINGDOM, BIATCHES!

/If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German, singing, "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!"


Instead, they sing "Two world wars and One world cup, do-da, do-da......"


Two wars, one cup?  Man, British porn is freaky.
 
2013-04-11 05:20:47 AM
I'm American, and the only one of these I'm guilty of is the milk one, but only occasionally.
 
2013-04-11 05:37:09 AM
protip: it's probably better to not floss at all than to floss just before a date, just as it's better to stay up all night than it is to try to get an hour sleep
 
2013-04-11 05:40:26 AM
I agree that drinking cow's milk is f-ing gross.....I only use soy/almond/rice milk now on cereal, when I do eat it.  I've never liked cow's milk.
 
2013-04-11 05:41:01 AM

Abacus9: I'm American, and the only one of these I'm guilty of is the milk one, but only occasionally.


It's not illegal. Well, if it's pasteurized.
 
2013-04-11 05:42:06 AM
9. Taking home leftovers
Thanks to the previous point, doggy bags have long been part of American restaurant culture. I can't quite bring myself to make off with my unfinished fare. It feels... icky. Plus, I've usually overeaten, and I'm convinced I'll never want to look at food again. Naturally, I regret this decision in the morning.
10. Eating breakfast together
You know in films featuring perfect American families there's always a scene where an implausibly jolly parent makes the kids pancakes in the shape of dinosaurs, then the entire household sits down to a sumptuous spread. Well, I am reliably informed that this kind of thing actually happens here. Breakfast is something Brits have if they're hung over or if the hotel they're staying in provides it. We'd never be so eccentric as to sit down and eat it at the same time - and in the same location - as our loved ones.



Wow...I've never been this proud to be non-British.....amazing.....what a moron.....
 
2013-04-11 05:59:55 AM

LordOfThePings: Abacus9: I'm American, and the only one of these I'm guilty of is the milk one, but only occasionally.

It's not illegal. Well, if it's pasteurized.


And ice farking cold. I don't even keep milk in the door of the refrigerator, it goes on one of the main shelves, to keep it colder. I even put ice in it.
 
2013-04-11 06:03:18 AM

ginandbacon: Milk and flossing and they wonder why we have such nice teeth.


Something Americans in general don't understand is that we Brits think that you have horrible teeth. Sure, you think ours are crooked and icky, but we think yours are plasticky and fake looking - the dental equivalent of bolt-ons.
 
2013-04-11 06:06:54 AM
#11.  Standing in the middle of an escalator.
 
2013-04-11 06:40:21 AM

hubiestubert: Dear Britain,

Over 200 years ago, we threw you and yours to the curb. While we appreciate that our Neighbors to the North still hold y'all in high esteem, and they ARE a very polite people, we likewise, did so for a reason. In that time, we have managed not only to have American Standard English outstrip British Standard English as the language of business abroad, and our financial as well as our industrial capacity outstrip your own by several factors, and even came to y'all's rescue a few times, out of the kindness of our Yank hearts. Well, that and blistering economic opportunities, and personal satisfaction of pulling your bacon out of the fire. In that time, we've managed to pull together a fairly bellicose and belligerent bunch of ex-pats, immigrants, and natives together into a union, with a fair varied experience than your Isles managed to bring. We brought over Scots and Irish, your own kin and kith, the French, the Spanish, even some disenfranchised Mexicans, Cubans, and a few other Latinates including some Italians and even the Portuguese, and in the meantime some Nihonjin, Chinese, some of those Pakis that you REALLY seem down on, some of the Indians that you are still trying to come to terms with, along with our own native population, and knitted them into the fabric of our society. It hasn't been seamless, it has had hiccups, as the imported African labor that you so lovingly helped us with, and then abandoned in your own shores, because, let's face it, you just didn't really seem to have time for all that, since you could just import the tobacco and cotton that we produced anyway, and wash your hands of the human cost that you brought with the whole shebang, and let us figure out what to do with the results of your experiment.

You are surprised that we AREN'T something different than yourselves? We ARE separated by a shared language--one that we've seen fit to modify, since we developed manners that you find curious and oddly embracing and at the sa ...


Nice rant but it would be quicker just to say "you are better than I am and that scares me"

/we don't have a dream in Britain
//that's because we are awake
 
2013-04-11 06:49:49 AM

GungFu: 3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.


once those bloody brits stop saying "orientated" and switch to the far more reasonable "oriented", you've got yourself a deal.
 
2013-04-11 07:20:30 AM
Uh... yeah, if you floss regularly, it doesn't hurt.
 
2013-04-11 07:27:57 AM

Rapmaster2000: 1.  Mayonnaise on Spaghetti
2.  Tabloid nicknames (re:  Jacko is Wacko, Foxy Noxy)
3.  Bad fake tans (though they do share this with guidos)
4.  WAGS
5.  Excessive use of the term "trousers".


bossip.files.wordpress.com

That's "sketti"
 
2013-04-11 07:45:34 AM
Drinking milk. It's a conspiracy.

Industry has a lot of milk left over after extracting the cream to make butter, cheese and ice cream so they taught Americans to drink milk. Actually, they started out by teaching old timey Americans to drink whey (or "butter milk", a contradiction in terms) because otherwise they'd have to dump it into the river, destroying the water supply and killing the fish. But over time they figured out how to make whey look like "milk" by adding chalk and other additives, so they were able to replace the filthy and ridiculous habit of drinking whey with the even stupider habit of drinking chalk water fortified with zero vitamins.

Nowadays, even this has given way to the realization that you don't have to add chalk. The only place where chalk water is still sold as milk is China, which like XIXth century America is rapidly industrializing and full of crooks who don't care if your children die.

Americans drink milk because they have been brainwashed for centuries by entrepreneurs and corporations. There's a lot less moxy and go-ahead spirit in British capitalism, so 1) they spend a fraction of the money American companies and their government proxies spend on advertising and marketing, and 2) the British public is woeful unaware of the existence of products that they don't need. Like milk, dental floss, kitchens, and doggy bags.

And that's the reason for that.
 
2013-04-11 08:07:38 AM

Norfolking Chance: Nice rant but it would be quicker just to say "you are better than I am and that scares me"

/we don't have a dream in Britain
//that's because we are awake


Better at what, exactly? Please, do go on...
 
2013-04-11 08:19:01 AM

UberDave: He forgot eating chips (fries) by hand.  I usually look out for local customs like that but one evening I was tired and jet lagged and drew some amused looks from a couple's two children.


Although Americanization has made great inroads, I recall a newspaper article from the local paper (The Ottawa Citizen) in which visitors and members of the diplomatic community commented on things which they noticed about local life that struck them as original and different. A visitor from the Caribbean found it heart-warmingly nostalgic that Canadian mailboxes are Royal Red (or Scarlet) rather than blue as in the US. This made them feel more at home. An American pre-teen noted that many Canadians eat french fries with a fork (and sometimes a knife if the fries are long) in restaurants or at home (McDo and other fast food places that don't provide forks for your fries are natural exceptions--everybody tends to eat their fries with their fingers in American fast food chains). Also, Canadians put gravy on fries (and make poutine with gravy and cheese curds) instead of ketchup, or with ketchup even.

The question of finger foods is one which divides nations and regions, even families. Also, french fries seem to be a cultural touchstone, or shibboleth if you will, as they may be eaten with salt and malt vinegar (UK, Canada), with ketchup (USA, Canada) or with mayonaise (Belgium, France, the American South, possibly Quebec).

Speaking of culture, Americans tend to use the word in the German sense of High Culture (Kultur), while Canadians tend to use it in the anthropological sense (the habits and manners of nations). This is why a hockey game or Tim Hortons are considered Canadian Culture, but in America are seldom considered at all even where they exist and are popular.

When I was a student in Switzerland, we went on a number of free field trips paid for by the Swiss government. Like many people I liked to look out the window, observing the changes in landscape, building traditions, etc. The Americans, from well-to-do families, generally read their newspapers (International Herald) or chatted. Getting from place to place for them was just a pragmatic question of going from point A to point B, while for many other people the trip was half the fun. This may be a class rather than a national custom, but I suspect it is both.

The upper middle or upper class American students were object-oriented, pragmatic, blassé about ordinary life in other countries, individualistic. But the rest of us were interested in what was around us.

I imagine that the cellphone and other "communication" gadgets have now replaced the newspaper as a form of communication prevention for the Anglo-American elites. Americans and the British have different ways of being "private" and stand-offish.

An American will tell you his or her entire life story (including gruesome details such as medical procedures) in a few minutes, secure in the knowledge that they will never see you again. They'll be on a first name basis in seconds, but if you try to contact them later, you will realize that you don't know their last name and can't look up their telephone number or other "coordinates" because you don't know them well enough to be on a last name basis.

Unless you are a born geographer, historian or anthropologist, you might misunderstand Americans and think they are open books. They are just working on different assumptions. They can maintain just as much standoffishness as the British upper classes while being extremely polite, open, frank and intrusively forth-coming with details of their income, profession or trade, etc.

They use the "bury 'em with facts" method instead of the "need to know" method of keeping distance between themselves and strangers.

Americans come by this naturally because the vast majority of you/them are at least partly Irish, German, Italian, Jewish, etc. Canadians are more likely to be British, or French, or Other, or various recent combinations of these, and thus are more "European" than European Americans. They've had less time to hybridize and develop a common culture like the American culture, which being founded on individualism, anti-intellectualism, anti-elitism, and anti-statism, is more monolithic and obligatory than the cultures of less free societies. Also, as everybody knows, America is supposedly a melting pot, while Canada is more of a mosaic or possibly a buffet, where the different items blend on your plate, not in the kitchen.

Paradoxical yes, but everything human is a paradox.
 
2013-04-11 08:21:16 AM
This is funny because, you know, Brits.
 
2013-04-11 08:28:23 AM

justaguy76: How did "voting republican" not make the list of 10 weird american habits the rest fo the world can't understand?


Methinks the nation that put Dubya's limey sidekick in power doesn't have room to talk for awhile.
 
2013-04-11 09:11:02 AM

mekkab: GungFu: 3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.

once those bloody brits stop saying "orientated" and switch to the far more reasonable "oriented", you've got yourself a deal.


Al-u-min-ee-um.
 
2013-04-11 09:12:43 AM
TIL Im british?
 
2013-04-11 09:14:46 AM

UtileDysfunktion: mekkab: GungFu: 3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.

once those bloody brits stop saying "orientated" and switch to the far more reasonable "oriented", you've got yourself a deal.

Al-u-min-ee-um.


Al-ooh-min-um! We invented it! We get to name it!
 
2013-04-11 10:52:25 AM

ransack.: UtileDysfunktion: mekkab: GungFu: 3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.

once those bloody brits stop saying "orientated" and switch to the far more reasonable "oriented", you've got yourself a deal.

Al-u-min-ee-um.

Al-ooh-min-um! We invented it! We get to name it!


Was it invented in a la-bor-o-tor-y?
 
2013-04-11 11:09:54 AM

W.C.fields forever: Mojongo: W.C.fields forever: Did your Father win or lose?
  As far as the poker game I don't know but he survived the war and met my mother, an Army nurse, in liberated Paris.
Winner..winner..

I spent a few years in the early 60s in the U.K. as a military brat trying to adapt yet wishing this Yankee could go home. Your Fark handle combines two of my heroes and makes me think of....
                                          " What fiend put pineapple juice in my pineapple juice?"
                                              i812.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-11 11:11:10 AM

Tax Boy: ransack.: UtileDysfunktion: mekkab: GungFu: 3: Burgle. Medicine. Say it, motherfarker! It's a lot faster than 'burglarization' or 'medication'....stop putting 'ion' into every damn word to appear more intelligent. It doesn't work! We know how ignorant you really are.

once those bloody brits stop saying "orientated" and switch to the far more reasonable "oriented", you've got yourself a deal.

Al-u-min-ee-um.

Al-ooh-min-um! We invented it! We get to name it!

Was it invented in a la-bor-o-tor-y?


In fairness, English IS a trade language that melds a Germanic language, with Gaelic and Welsh and a few of the other native tongues of the British Isles, and then throws in some Latinate languages in to boot thanks to the Romans and the Normans, so a bit of rockiness is sort of to be expected. The language has some odd rules and gaps and even flouts its own conventions fair regular, which is why it is one of the more difficult tongues to learn. Not the hardest by any means, but English, either BSE or ASE are chock full of inconsistencies that are often lost even to native speakers...
 
2013-04-11 02:13:34 PM
Two words my British friends: Salad cream.

No more disgusting thing has ever crossed my taste buds, however brief a time.
 
2013-04-11 02:20:31 PM

Ima4nic8or: The one I agree with 1000% is #4.  That crap is just annoying as fark.  Its one of the main reasons I won't ride mass transit.  I remember having to ride the bus to my first job when I was too young to drive.  The ridership was 50% retarded (I don't mean that as a derogatory statement toward an unlikable but normal person, but as a diagnosis.  These folks had down syndrome and assorted other mental defects), another 25% were low-life, scumbag, criminal element types, another 10% were religious or political kooks, another 5% were old folks who would just talk your ear off about the old days if you let them and the small remainder were folks like me who had to be there and just wanted to be left in peace.  Unfortunately almost every single day one of these damn clowns would try to strike up a conversation with me.  If they were interesting topics it might have been worthwhile to talk, but it was always completely trivial crap.  Worse yet these folks seemed to be incapable of taking any sort of hint short of "fark off, asshole."


Step 1.) Acquire large, heavy book
Step 2.) Read book on mass transit
Step 3.) When someone strikes up a conversation anyway, beat them with the book.
 
2013-04-11 02:39:52 PM

Mose: Two words my British friends: Salad cream.

No more disgusting thing has ever crossed my taste buds, however brief a time.


I was going to post a pic of that bratty Graham Chapman-type kid on Fawlty Towers going on about salad cream but I couldn't find one. So, I'll post this reunion photo and sob quietly to myself...

www.taylorherring.com
 
2013-04-11 03:42:01 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Mose: Two words my British friends: Salad cream.

No more disgusting thing has ever crossed my taste buds, however brief a time.

I was going to post a pic of that bratty Graham Chapman-type kid on Fawlty Towers going on about salad cream but I couldn't find one. So, I'll post this reunion photo and sob quietly to myself...

[www.taylorherring.com image 428x274]


Manuel has aged the best of any of them.  That's really, really sad...
 
2013-04-11 03:54:38 PM

Norfolking Chance: hubiestubert: Dear Britain,

Over 200 years ago, we threw you and yours to the curb. While we appreciate that our Neighbors to the North still hold y'all in high esteem, and they ARE a very polite people, we likewise, did so for a reason. In that time, we have managed not only to have American Standard English outstrip British Standard English as the language of business abroad, and our financial as well as our industrial capacity outstrip your own by several factors, and even came to y'all's rescue a few times, out of the kindness of our Yank hearts. Well, that and blistering economic opportunities, and personal satisfaction of pulling your bacon out of the fire. In that time, we've managed to pull together a fairly bellicose and belligerent bunch of ex-pats, immigrants, and natives together into a union, with a fair varied experience than your Isles managed to bring. We brought over Scots and Irish, your own kin and kith, the French, the Spanish, even some disenfranchised Mexicans, Cubans, and a few other Latinates including some Italians and even the Portuguese, and in the meantime some Nihonjin, Chinese, some of those Pakis that you REALLY seem down on, some of the Indians that you are still trying to come to terms with, along with our own native population, and knitted them into the fabric of our society. It hasn't been seamless, it has had hiccups, as the imported African labor that you so lovingly helped us with, and then abandoned in your own shores, because, let's face it, you just didn't really seem to have time for all that, since you could just import the tobacco and cotton that we produced anyway, and wash your hands of the human cost that you brought with the whole shebang, and let us figure out what to do with the results of your experiment.

You are surprised that we AREN'T something different than yourselves? We ARE separated by a shared language--one that we've seen fit to modify, since we developed manners that you find curious and oddly embracing ...


hey, you're from norfolk so you might remember me!
when i was living in Wales, I took my gf up to norfolk for a university interview.
my exhaust broke and i was driving through town in the middle of the night with no muffler, and i didn't know exactly where the hotel was so I drove around quite a bit...with house lights turning on all around as i passed by.

remember me?
 
2013-04-11 04:02:01 PM

Gordon Bennett: SirEattonHogg: 3) The term "middle class", which means apparently means upper class minus the aristocracy.  It was weird hearing my British colleagues saying stuff like "Oh his family is quite posh.  Very middle class."  I guess we all aspire to be middle class.

I don't understand the American concept of middle class, which as near as I can tell includes anyone who is neither impoverished nor a plutocrat. It's so broad as to lose all meaning. What is even more bizarre to my ears is the tendency of American politicians to talk about "ordinary middle class Americans." Again, very odd. Middle class isn't ordinary.

Now, getting to what you're talking about, that isn't quite it either. That would be the upper middle class, which is an entirely different beast. I'm middle class and while some might find me posh, I'm far from wealthy and even though I have lived in a very posh, upper middle class/upper class neighbourhood I never fit in at all.

It's difficult to explain exactly what defines (to the British) middle class. I heard someone on the radio suggest that if you had a library card while you were a child, you were middle class. My own personal definition is that if you were raised with the understanding that you were definitely going to university, you are middle class.

I think Americans use collar colours to define the same thing. Blue collar = working class, white collar = middle class. But I may be mistaken about this. I've lived for a long time in both countries but still don't quite understand American culture.


I think one of the reasons class in America is confusing is because Americans have a strong reaction to appearing to be classist.  There's something about being an American that makes many Americans think that we're all created equally, and classes should not exist, or that it's sinful pride to recognize social class.  So we get this weird thing that almost everyone considers themselves middle-class.  Working class people may consider themselves lower-middle-class, maybe in a patch of bad luck, while upper class people may consider themselves upper-middle-class, but sporting good luck.  That's why politicians seem to pander to the middle-class.  In reality they are trying to pander to everyone all at the same time, since most Americans consider themselves middle class.

Of course it's ridiculous to think all Americans are the same social class, but it's a very strong American notion that we are all the same social class.

My working definition of social classes in America comes down to how each group defines social class.  Lower/working classes want to define social class purely as a function of income levels.  Middle class sees that income is important, but not the whole story.  A tradesman such as a plumber is not considered middle class, even if he is successful and owns his own business.  His children might be, if they go to university.  Like you said above, middle-class Americans are those who go to a university and work in a white collar or professional kind of job, plus a moderate to fairly high income level.  Upper-class people take it as a given that they have loads of money, will go to a prestigious university, but I think their definition also includes a sense of family history, and personal style.  There may be some mobility between working and middle class, but very little mobility into upper class, with maybe the exception of advancing progressive generations into a higher class, such as the children of fabulously successful businessmen, etc.  Another key to defining upper class is that they don't really need to work at a job in order to have enough money to live, and to live well.  So even a wildly successful lawyer may not be upper class as long as his standard of living and net worth are a function of him still working as a lawyer until retirement.

So, to recap, income levels define class for working class, income plus education define class for middle class, income, education, family and "Culture" define class for the upper class.
 
2013-04-11 04:40:43 PM
WTF is wrong with you anti-milk people?

Milk is DELICIOUS and good for you.  We evolved lactose tolerance for a reason, drink your farking milk.
 
2013-04-11 07:26:36 PM

orbister: ginandbacon: Milk and flossing and they wonder why we have such nice teeth.

Something Americans in general don't understand is that we Brits think that you have horrible teeth. Sure, you think ours are crooked and icky, but we think yours are plasticky and fake looking - the dental equivalent of bolt-ons.


So if they are straight and clean it looks fake? I'm not following that logic. What if my hair is straight and clean, do you assume its a wig? And if my car isn't a wreck, does that mean its only a loaner?
 
2013-04-11 07:49:04 PM

brantgoose: UberDave: He forgot eating chips (fries) by hand.  I usually look out for local customs like that but one evening I was tired and jet lagged and drew some amused looks from a couple's two children.

Although Americanization has made great inroads, I recall a newspaper article from the local paper (The Ottawa Citizen) in which visitors and members of the diplomatic community commented on things which they noticed about local life that struck them as original and different. A visitor from the Caribbean found it heart-warmingly nostalgic that Canadian mailboxes are Royal Red (or Scarlet) rather than blue as in the US. This made them feel more at home. An American pre-teen noted that many Canadians eat french fries with a fork (and sometimes a knife if the fries are long) in restaurants or at home (McDo and other fast food places that don't provide forks for your fries are natural exceptions--everybody tends to eat their fries with their fingers in American fast food chains). Also, Canadians put gravy on fries (and make poutine with gravy and cheese curds) instead of ketchup, or with ketchup even.

The question of finger foods is one which divides nations and regions, even families. Also, french fries seem to be a cultural touchstone, or shibboleth if you will, as they may be eaten with salt and malt vinegar (UK, Canada), with ketchup (USA, Canada) or with mayonaise (Belgium, France, the American South, possibly Quebec).

Speaking of culture, Americans tend to use the word in the German sense of High Culture (Kultur), while Canadians tend to use it in the anthropological sense (the habits and manners of nations). This is why a hockey game or Tim Hortons are considered Canadian Culture, but in America are seldom considered at all even where they exist and are popular.

When I was a student in Switzerland, we went on a number of free field trips paid for by the Swiss government. Like many people I liked to look out the window, observing the changes in landscape, building traditions, etc. The Americans, from well-to-do families, generally read their newspapers (International Herald) or chatted. Getting from place to place for them was just a pragmatic question of going from point A to point B, while for many other people the trip was half the fun. This may be a class rather than a national custom, but I suspect it is both.

The upper middle or upper class American students were object-oriented, pragmatic, blassé about ordinary life in other countries, individualistic. But the rest of us were interested in what was around us.

I imagine that the cellphone and other "communication" gadgets have now replaced the newspaper as a form of communication prevention for the Anglo-American elites. Americans and the British have different ways of being "private" and stand-offish.

An American will tell you his or her entire life story (including gruesome details such as medical procedures) in a few minutes, secure in the knowledge that they will never see you again. They'll be on a first name basis in seconds, but if you try to contact them later, you will realize that you don't know their last name and can't look up their telephone number or other "coordinates" because you don't know them well enough to be on a last name basis.

Unless you are a born geographer, historian or anthropologist, you might misunderstand Americans and think they are open books. They are just working on different assumptions. They can maintain just as much standoffishness as the British upper classes while being extremely polite, open, frank and intrusively forth-coming with details of their income, profession or trade, etc.

They use the "bury 'em with facts" method instead of the "need to know" method of keeping distance between themselves and strangers.

Americans come by this naturally because the vast majority of you/them are at least partly Irish, German, Italian, Jewish, etc. Canadians are more likely to be British, or French, or Other, or various recent combinations of these, and thus are more "European" than European Americans. They've had less time to hybridize and develop a common culture like the American culture, which being founded on individualism, anti-intellectualism, anti-elitism, and anti-statism, is more monolithic and obligatory than the cultures of less free societies. Also, as everybody knows, America is supposedly a melting pot, while Canada is more of a mosaic or possibly a buffet, where the different items blend on your plate, not in the kitchen.

Paradoxical yes, but everything human is a paradox.


Blue mailboxes? I see mostly black, white, and silver. I don't think they regulate color here, just size and placement.
 
2013-04-11 08:11:26 PM

Mellotiger: Blue mailboxes? I see mostly black, white, and silver. I don't think they regulate color here, just size and placement.


Big USPS mailboxes, not the ones in front of each house.
 
2013-04-11 08:30:00 PM

FrancoFile: Mellotiger: Blue mailboxes? I see mostly black, white, and silver. I don't think they regulate color here, just size and placement.

Big USPS mailboxes, not the ones in front of each house.


Oh yeah. Holy fark I'm special sometimes!
 
2013-04-12 01:33:33 AM

brantgoose: Drinking milk. It's a conspiracy.

Industry has a lot of milk left over after extracting the cream to make butter, cheese and ice cream so they taught Americans to drink milk. Actually, they started out by teaching old timey Americans to drink whey (or "butter milk", a contradiction in terms) because otherwise they'd have to dump it into the river, destroying the water supply and killing the fish. But over time they figured out how to make whey look like "milk" by adding chalk and other additives, so they were able to replace the filthy and ridiculous habit of drinking whey with the even stupider habit of drinking chalk water fortified with zero vitamins.

Nowadays, even this has given way to the realization that you don't have to add chalk. The only place where chalk water is still sold as milk is China, which like XIXth century America is rapidly industrializing and full of crooks who don't care if your children die.

Americans drink milk because they have been brainwashed for centuries by entrepreneurs and corporations. There's a lot less moxy and go-ahead spirit in British capitalism, so 1) they spend a fraction of the money American companies and their government proxies spend on advertising and marketing, and 2) the British public is woeful unaware of the existence of products that they don't need. Like milk, dental floss, kitchens, and doggy bags.

And that's the reason for that.


Or, maybe it's just delicious. There's always that.
 
2013-04-12 01:41:01 AM

ciberido: jpo2269: He left off the list "work" and "enjoy iced tea."

The only way I can get iced tea when I visit the UK is to order hot tea and a glass or two of ice.Drives me nuts that you cannot even find iced tea at the bigger hotels....  That being said, it does give me an excuse to splurge on Lucazade which can no longer be imported into the US....

Outside the USA, there are a couple of Asian countries (Thailand for one) that drink tea cold, and that's about it.  Most of the world drinks tea hot and doesn't even conceive of drinking tea with ice.  It's very hard to get ice tea most countries.

Ice tea and cornbread are the two things I miss most when I'm outside the USA.


I've had iced tea in Paris (in 2008) so it can't be that uncommon.
 
2013-04-12 01:42:21 AM

legion_of_doo: /If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German, singing, "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles!"


Actually, they'd probably be speaking Russian. The Nazis were pretty much finished by D-Day.
 
2013-04-12 02:49:48 AM

Abacus9: ciberido: jpo2269: He left off the list "work" and "enjoy iced tea."

The only way I can get iced tea when I visit the UK is to order hot tea and a glass or two of ice.Drives me nuts that you cannot even find iced tea at the bigger hotels....  That being said, it does give me an excuse to splurge on Lucazade which can no longer be imported into the US....

Outside the USA, there are a couple of Asian countries (Thailand for one) that drink tea cold, and that's about it.  Most of the world drinks tea hot and doesn't even conceive of drinking tea with ice.  It's very hard to get ice tea most countries.

Ice tea and cornbread are the two things I miss most when I'm outside the USA.

I've had iced tea in Paris (in 2008) so it can't be that uncommon.


as long as they have ice.

i've been to the movies and the place only had cans of soda at room temperature, and popcorn with sugar and cinnamon (yuck). the combination foams up in your mouth making you a) want to spit up, or b) look like a rabid dog.
answer: both

lots of folk over there (because energy is more expensive) have tiny refrigerators that couldn't hold more than a couple trays of ice. one round and your done. they shop almost daily, rather than stocking some huge fridge with a months worth of food. i didn't mind the shopping...it was a nice reason to go for a walk, places without a "supermarket" means you have to visit several shops or stands.

.
 
2013-04-12 03:11:13 AM

Popular Opinion: the combination foams up in your mouth making you a) want to spit up, or b) look like a rabid dog.
answer: both


I knew it! The answer is ALWAYS c!

Popular Opinion: lots of folk over there (because energy is more expensive) have tiny refrigerators that couldn't hold more than a couple trays of ice. one round and your done. they shop almost daily, rather than stocking some huge fridge with a months worth of food. i didn't mind the shopping...it was a nice reason to go for a walk, places without a "supermarket" means you have to visit several shops or stands.


I've heard that about ice being kind of scarce in Europe. I hardly noticed, and the iced tea I had was actually from a can, and I got it from a vendor that had it in one of those little fridges. When we went to a restaurant, I usually had a beer or a glass of wine. As far as the shopping, our hotel was by a little grocery store, so we bought a few items so we wouldn't have to eat out all the time. I'm still in the habit of picking up a few items just about every day from the store, rather than spend hours there once a week.
 
2013-04-12 03:40:40 AM

EyeballKid: justaguy76: How did "voting republican" not make the list of 10 weird american habits the rest fo the world can't understand?

Methinks the nation that put Dubya's limey sidekick in power doesn't have room to talk for awhile.


Err.  I'm Australian.
 
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