Falmouth resident Mark Cool, who lives near the turbine site, said persistent headaches started as soon as it began running. He described some so penetrating he felt he needed "to drill a hole in my head to get some sort of relief."

DO IT! DO IT!

Jackson Herring: Really though on a tab famous for it's awful headlines, congrats submitter on coming up with a particularly shiatty one

That's just what I would expect a Massachusinian Massachusite Massachusetter guy from Massachusetts to say.

Someone here on Fark noticed that there is a cure for turbine sickness.

Money.

Seems the owners of the land the turbines are on don't get sick.

I'm fairly certain that fashioning a hat from aluminum foil would cure about 95% of those headaches.

/not a doctor

xcv: After extensive internet research I've diagnosed my family as being afflicted with Chronic Lyme Disease, Multiple Chemical Sensitivity Syndrome, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Morgellons, gluten allergies and vaccination-linked-autism, these wind turbines could be the death of us.

The Aristocrats!

The way I see it is that there was no threat to the New England coast until they put up those stupid windmills and changed the wind patterns (a theory just as plausible as climate change, Don't you think?). Did any of these awesome scientists bother to examine what thousands of windmills all over the world do to existing wind patterns? I didn't think so. This is the argument I have personally used against my "global warming" friends. Instead of helping fight global warming they made it worse than if they just left it alone. They really don't know what to say. I am a little surprised that I have not heard anyone else make this argument but feel free to use it if need be. I am not a scientist but this seems to make sense. - A Freeper

// Hat tip to "Tales from the Derp Side"

You can't put a turbine here. This is bat country.

Ha ha ha ha! I get it! It's funny because liberals are stupid jerks and live in the north, and good, solid mississippi people are smart and good and wouldn't do such a thing, but you would think they would because you're a stupid liberal jerk! It's so funny! Oh subby! You're so great and funny! I hope an alligator bites your dick off in front of your grandchildless dad!

NIMBY?

BANANA?

A coal plant on the same site should take care of all their health concerns.