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(Yahoo)   How does Arnold Palmer order an Arnold Palmer?   (sports.yahoo.com) divider line 64
    More: Amusing, Arnold Palmer, Pebble Beach, major championships, iced teas, Augusta National  
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10752 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Apr 2013 at 12:56 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-09 08:40:02 PM
He tells the person next to him who he is, and they buy him a drink.
 
2013-04-09 08:40:59 PM
"I'm back."

Oh sorry. Wrong Arnold.
 
2013-04-09 08:54:25 PM
Bartender, can I get a me with a twist of lemon?
 
2013-04-09 10:53:32 PM
An Arnold Palmer is probably the best drink that doesn't have booze in it.
 
2013-04-10 01:00:12 AM
Bartender, put some vodka in me.
 
2013-04-10 01:00:16 AM
If I were him I'd order a "me."
 
2013-04-10 01:02:48 AM
"I'll have what *I'm* having."

;D
 
2013-04-10 01:02:48 AM
Who fancies a pint of me? Huzzah!
 
2013-04-10 01:09:08 AM

farkingismybusiness: Bartender, put some vodka in me.


That is a John Daly

A Juan Daily is half corona half lemonade with a shot of Tequilla.
 
2013-04-10 01:09:57 AM
Since 99% of the people serving him probably have no idea who he is, I wonder how the wink goes over.
 
2013-04-10 01:12:16 AM
Hilda, can you do the "me" maneuver on me?

d.gr-assets.com

/cake or death?
 
2013-04-10 01:12:52 AM
With a lemon wedge.
 
2013-04-10 01:17:13 AM
Guys, he's classier than that.  Dad caddied for him once, and says the man is "pure class".  Calling it a "Mr. Palmer" sounds just about right.

/Mind you, he tells that story less for "I caddied for Arnold Palmer", and more for "My father pulled me and my brothers out of Catholic school so that we could all caddy for [insert famous golfer name here at some tournament], and then when we all got Saturday detention for missing school, went in and did them himself."
 
2013-04-10 01:17:58 AM

CipollinaFan: farkingismybusiness: Bartender, put some vodka in me.

That is a John Daly

A Juan Daily is half corona half lemonade with a shot of Tequilla.


I used to bartend at a rich old man bar. Their main drinks were Icepicks or if they wanted to be healthy, a Screwdriver, aka a Vodka Sandwich.
 
2013-04-10 01:24:30 AM

meyerkev: Guys, he's classier than that. Dad caddied for him once, and says the man is "pure class". Calling it a "Mr. Palmer" sounds just about right.


He really is. I'm not even a fan of golfing but I know Arnold Palmer is a good guy.
 
2013-04-10 01:29:36 AM
So a grasshopper walks into a bar....
 
2013-04-10 01:37:51 AM

Troy McClure: Since 99% of the people serving him probably have no idea who he is, I wonder how the wink goes over.


At Augusta?  Anyone working at Augusta will know Arnold Palmer's great-great-great-great grandson.
 
2013-04-10 01:44:35 AM
Don't even ask about Tom Collins.

Not to mention Senor Jacken Coke.
 
2013-04-10 01:47:46 AM

Manfred J. Hattan: Troy McClure: Since 99% of the people serving him probably have no idea who he is, I wonder how the wink goes over.

At Augusta?  Anyone working at Augusta will know Arnold Palmer's great-great-great-great grandson.


Yeah, non-golf people have no concept of what Augusta is.
 
2013-04-10 01:47:48 AM

jake_lex: An Arnold Palmer is probably the best drink that doesn't have booze in it.


I'd contend that it even beats many of those.
 
2013-04-10 02:23:00 AM
Adam Carolla invented the Tiger Woods: Half Coke, Half Diet Coke
 
2013-04-10 02:26:34 AM
The same way Dirty Sanchez orders a Dirty Sanchez.
 
2013-04-10 02:27:47 AM
Without a trace of irony, I imagine.....
 
2013-04-10 02:31:04 AM
I attended a relativity seminar many years ago where the lecturer was Australian physicist Roy Kerr, eponymous discoverer of the Kerr solution (to Einstein's field equations).  The most famous solution is Schwarzschild's, which describes the metric around a spherically symmetric mass.  Kerr's solution describes the field around a rotating axially symmetric mass (e.g., around a star such as the sun).  Partway through the seminar it became obvious Dr. Kerr was going to have a make a reference to his solution and I'm sure I was not the only attendee wondering how he was going to do it.  When the time came when anyone else would have uttered the words "the Kerr solution", Dr. Kerr said "the spinning Schwarzschild solution".  Bryce Dewitt spoke up, asking "I'm sorry.  The what?" and Dr. Kerr relented: "oh, alright.  The Kerr solution".

/ the Relativity Center shared a copier with the Center for Particle Theory
// one bin for copy machine errors was labeled "relatively bad copies"
/// and the other "particularly bad copies"
/V ha ha
 
2013-04-10 02:33:51 AM

CipollinaFan: farkingismybusiness: Bartender, put some vodka in me.

That is a John Daly

A Juan Daily is half corona half lemonade with a shot of Tequilla.


I thought that was what your mom enjoyed.
 
2013-04-10 02:39:00 AM
Muddy waters
 
2013-04-10 02:48:31 AM

mnemonic device: I attended a relativity seminar many years ago where the lecturer was Australian physicist Roy Kerr, eponymous discoverer of the Kerr solution (to Einstein's field equations).  The most famous solution is Schwarzschild's, which describes the metric around a spherically symmetric mass.  Kerr's solution describes the field around a rotating axially symmetric mass (e.g., around a star such as the sun).  Partway through the seminar it became obvious Dr. Kerr was going to have a make a reference to his solution and I'm sure I was not the only attendee wondering how he was going to do it.  When the time came when anyone else would have uttered the words "the Kerr solution", Dr. Kerr said "the spinning Schwarzschild solution".  Bryce Dewitt spoke up, asking "I'm sorry.  The what?" and Dr. Kerr relented: "oh, alright.  The Kerr solution".

/ the Relativity Center shared a copier with the Center for Particle Theory
// one bin for copy machine errors was labeled "relatively bad copies"
/// and the other "particularly bad copies"
/V ha ha


My pocket protector is sore just from reading this.
 
2013-04-10 02:58:25 AM
I imagine he doesnt drink anything with his name on it, some of this stuff is awful

www.arnoldpalmer.com
 
2013-04-10 03:03:43 AM
Pisses me off that I can't find Arnold Palmer without aspartame in it, unless I make it myself.  It's delicious, but I don't want the increased risk of brain cancer.
 
2013-04-10 03:06:39 AM

mnemonic device: I attended a relativity seminar many years ago where the lecturer was Australian physicist Roy Kerr, eponymous discoverer of the Kerr solution (to Einstein's field equations).  The most famous solution is Schwarzschild's, which describes the metric around a spherically symmetric mass.  Kerr's solution describes the field around a rotating axially symmetric mass (e.g., around a star such as the sun).  Partway through the seminar it became obvious Dr. Kerr was going to have a make a reference to his solution and I'm sure I was not the only attendee wondering how he was going to do it.  When the time came when anyone else would have uttered the words "the Kerr solution", Dr. Kerr said "the spinning Schwarzschild solution".  Bryce Dewitt spoke up, asking "I'm sorry.  The what?" and Dr. Kerr relented: "oh, alright.  The Kerr solution".

/ the Relativity Center shared a copier with the Center for Particle Theory
// one bin for copy machine errors was labeled "relatively bad copies"
/// and the other "particularly bad copies"
/V ha ha


www.miserableretailslave.com
Ah. Do. Want... Your life.
 
2013-04-10 03:13:22 AM

Rhino_man: Pisses me off that I can't find Arnold Palmer without aspartame in it, unless I make it myself.  It's delicious, but I don't want the increased risk of brain cancer.


wut
 
2013-04-10 03:15:58 AM
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/artificial-sweetene r s

Given the strength of the potential lobby groups but this may make you feel better, or it could all be a lie
 
2013-04-10 03:29:28 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Rhino_man: Pisses me off that I can't find Arnold Palmer without aspartame in it, unless I make it myself.  It's delicious, but I don't want the increased risk of brain cancer.

wut


Don't mind me... everyone is entitled to one paranoid, anti-vaxxer style distrust of the government.  That's mine.
 
2013-04-10 04:07:35 AM
Just be glad he didn't order a 'Rusty Venture'.

Link for those who don't know
 
2013-04-10 04:27:21 AM

GoSurfing: meyerkev: Guys, he's classier than that. Dad caddied for him once, and says the man is "pure class". Calling it a "Mr. Palmer" sounds just about right.

He really is. I'm not even a fan of golfing but I know Arnold Palmer is a good guy.


Pfft, I waited on him and his friends once, back in the early 90's, at a steakhouse in Austin. Just a bunch of drunk assholes, really. They all thought it was a big hoot because Arnold puked all over the men's room. This was a fairly high-end establishment, but they were carrying on like it was Burger King after the bars let out.

Around the same time, I waited on Ruth Buzzi and Richard Moll. Now those were some classy people.

/csb?
 
2013-04-10 06:19:36 AM
He says, "Hey Sabu, can you make a bull shot?"
 
2013-04-10 06:30:16 AM

illannoyin: Just be glad he didn't order a 'Rusty Venture'.

Link for those who don't know


If I click that link, will I be scarred for life?
 
2013-04-10 06:32:45 AM
He is actually the only person in the world who can order it and not be ambiguous about whether he's engaging in illicit activity.
 
2013-04-10 07:52:36 AM

The Smails Kid: He says, "Hey Sabu, can you make a bull shot?"


can you make a shoe smell?
 
2013-04-10 07:53:18 AM

Stupid Guitar: Around the same time, I waited on Ruth Buzzi and Richard Moll. Now those were some classy people.


Holy hell, he's 70 now.
 
2013-04-10 08:10:51 AM
It was their wedding night and after two rounds of lovemaking Rocky rolled over ready to sleep.  "Arnold Palmer never stopped at two," he heard his new bride say. They went at again and after, right when he was drifting off to sleep, she said,"Arnold Palmer never stopped at three."  After the fourth time Rock collapsed in complete exhaustion only to hear that sweet voice whisper, "Arnold Palmer never quit at four."

He crawled out of bed, limped to the phone and started to dial. "Who are you calling?" "Arnold Palmer. I going to find out the par for this hole."

/try the veal with your AP.  It's a delicious combination
 
2013-04-10 08:26:25 AM

GoSurfing: meyerkev: Guys, he's classier than that. Dad caddied for him once, and says the man is "pure class". Calling it a "Mr. Palmer" sounds just about right.

He really is. I'm not even a fan of golfing but I know Arnold Palmer is a good guy.


He's lucky that the media shielded celebs in his heyday, because if they didn't he'd have a worse rep than Tiger.
 
2013-04-10 08:29:42 AM

yequalsy: It was their wedding night and after two rounds of lovemaking Rocky rolled over ready to sleep.  "Arnold Palmer never stopped at two," he heard his new bride say. They went at again and after, right when he was drifting off to sleep, she said,"Arnold Palmer never stopped at three."  After the fourth time Rock collapsed in complete exhaustion only to hear that sweet voice whisper, "Arnold Palmer never quit at four."

He crawled out of bed, limped to the phone and started to dial. "Who are you calling?" "Arnold Palmer. I going to find out the par for this hole."

/try the veal with your AP.  It's a delicious combination


Zing.
 
2013-04-10 08:32:56 AM

yequalsy: It was their wedding night and after two rounds of lovemaking Rocky rolled over ready to sleep.  "Tiger Woods never stopped at two," he heard his new bride say. They went at again and after, right when he was drifting off to sleep, she said,"Tiger Woods never stopped at three."  After the fourth time Rock collapsed in complete exhaustion only to hear that sweet voice whisper, "Tiger Woods never quits at four."

He crawled out of bed, limped to the phone and started to dial. "Who are you calling?" "Tiger Woods. I am going to find out the par for this hole."

/try the veal with your AP.  It's a delicious combination


FTFM.
Old joke, sounds wrong with AP's name inserted.
 
2013-04-10 09:15:53 AM

lack of warmth: Old joke, sounds wrong with AP's name inserted.


Old joke, yes, but the first time I heard it was 1981 -- disturbingly I remember when and where -- and it was definitely AP.
 
2013-04-10 09:18:09 AM
Somebody give subby a wedgie. I expected ingredients, or at least serving suggestions.

Here's a much better article on  what Arnold Palmer drinks:

http://www.badgolfer.com/departments/features/beers-arnold-palmer-11 7. htm

TL/DR: "Palmer has been partial enough to Ketel One that he's even signed a marketing agreement with the company",and for beer he prefers Michelob Ultra and "he does have loyalty to his own hometown brewery" (Latrobe, PA) including Rolling Rock Green Light" (which he calls "Greens")
 
2013-04-10 09:18:46 AM

Troy McClure: Since 99% of the people serving him probably have no idea who he is, I wonder how the wink goes over.


He's still one of the most recognizable faces in golf, so no,

the biggest redneck here: GoSurfing: meyerkev: Guys, he's classier than that. Dad caddied for him once, and says the man is "pure class". Calling it a "Mr. Palmer" sounds just about right.

He really is. I'm not even a fan of golfing but I know Arnold Palmer is a good guy.

He's lucky that the media shielded celebs in his heyday, because if they didn't he'd have a worse rep than Tiger.


I've honestly never, ever heard that. Demaret was a legend partly for his drinking and womanizing. Oh, and the clothes.

www.golftransactions.com

Hot like a platinum blonde in a convertible in Palm Springs.
 
2013-04-10 09:23:18 AM
www.replikultes.net
Meeeeeeeee!!
 
2013-04-10 09:27:13 AM
What do you call this?
www.gavinrothery.com
 
2013-04-10 09:27:28 AM

yequalsy: lack of warmth: Old joke, sounds wrong with AP's name inserted.

Old joke, yes, but the first time I heard it was 1981 -- disturbingly I remember when and where -- and it was definitely AP.


I have an old golf joke book printed in the 60's.  The name used is lost in time to me, not AP's.
 
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