Cyberluddite: I have one.  I've asked a few lesbian friends this question and they can't figure it out either.  And it's this:

What's the deal with some lesbians (pretty much exclusively chubby, butch ones--never femmes) who wear shorts as their casual apparel of choice all winter when it's cold outside and nobody else is wearing them--especially given that these same lesbians often tend to not wear shorts in the summer when the weather is hot and everyone else wears them?

Have others noticed this?  Or is this just a  local lesbian fashion trend, not seen elsewhere?  I dunno, but the bottom line is that if you see a woman wearing shorts around here in December when everyone else is bundled up in warm clothes, 99.9% of the time they are both (a) fat and (b) a lesbian.  WTF is up with that?  Any TF lesbians wanna take a shot at answering that one?

Yes, in the winter their fat keeps them warm.  In the summer they are trying to sweat off weight.

So the answer to number 9 is everyone BUT straight christian white guys?

Do lesbians like fish tacos?

Earguy: My question for a lesbian, and I have asked my lesbian friends and never really gotten a good answer:

Look, I get being attracted to a woman.  Guys are gross.  Women are beautiful and they smell and feel good.  But I see many lesbian couples where one is femme and the other is "butch."  You'll even see lesbian weddings where one wears a dress and the other wears a man-tailored suit.   My question is, if you're attracted to masculinity, why not be with a man?

The fact is it is who is in the suit. It can also be how they look in the suit. For instance, there are plenty of straight guys who think Marlene Dietrich looked very fine in a man's suit. According to your logic sense those guys are attracted to Marlene Dietrich in a suit, it means they are attracted to masculinity. Do you think that means they would also be attracted to Milton Berle because he wears a suit?

PapaChester: To answer the last question, short hair doesn't look good on anyone.

Wrong.


If you want to know why short hair looks good: it's because it shows off the neck.

So, STFU.

six-n-tombstone: Earguy: My question for a lesbian, and I have asked my lesbian friends and never really gotten a good answer:

Look, I get being attracted to a woman.  Guys are gross.  Women are beautiful and they smell and feel good.  But I see many lesbian couples where one is femme and the other is "butch."  You'll even see lesbian weddings where one wears a dress and the other wears a man-tailored suit.   My question is, if you're attracted to masculinity, why not be with a man?

The fact is it is who is in the suit. It can also be how they look in the suit. For instance, there are plenty of straight guys who think Marlene Dietrich looked very fine in a man's suit. According to your logic sense those guys are attracted to Marlene Dietrich in a suit, it means they are attracted to masculinity. Do you think that means they would also be attracted to Milton Berle because he wears a suit?


[i1277.photobucket.com image 695x529]

what about not a suit? we still cool?

Theaetetus: TheBigJerk: At least 3 of those questions were the same question, "What's your lesbians' sex-lives like?"  And they all had the same answer, "I'm not really interested in talking about it with you Go watch porn."

While I can respect that, it would help if you were more explicit on that point, and you'd get less repeat questions.

It's a bit rude to repeatedly ask questions about someone's specific sex life. For example, we don't really need to know that you personally enjoy getting pegged while your wife recites selections from Das nibelungenlied.

THAT'S DISGUSTING!  It's Swedish folk music or nothin'!

And I was considering the point that if, for some reason, you're on a "sex talk" topic, chances are you either went a ways down that path yourself before hitting a question you were uncomfortable with, or you're dealing with an oblivious creeper who needs a verbal smack in the face.   Also relevant, most of those questions actually do depend on the lesbian, which is another thing people often seem to forget, different strokes for different folks and all that.

Also also relevant, when you're writing a kvetch list about "dumb things people ask me because they're dumb, why you so dumb dummy?!" it helps if you don't repeat.

Omahawg: six-n-tombstone: Earguy: My question for a lesbian, and I have asked my lesbian friends and never really gotten a good answer:

Look, I get being attracted to a woman.  Guys are gross.  Women are beautiful and they smell and feel good.  But I see many lesbian couples where one is femme and the other is "butch."  You'll even see lesbian weddings where one wears a dress and the other wears a man-tailored suit.   My question is, if you're attracted to masculinity, why not be with a man?

The fact is it is who is in the suit. It can also be how they look in the suit. For instance, there are plenty of straight guys who think Marlene Dietrich looked very fine in a man's suit. According to your logic sense those guys are attracted to Marlene Dietrich in a suit, it means they are attracted to masculinity. Do you think that means they would also be attracted to Milton Berle because he wears a suit?


[i1277.photobucket.com image 695x529]

what about not a suit? we still cool?

[i4.ytimg.com image 320x180]

Nope still not attracted to Milton and I knew using Milton's picture would dredge up one of those pics.

11. In a relationship, which lesbian insists that the other one drive, and then complain that the other one's driving is making her nervous?

halB: So black people can call her a dyke, but not Irish people in Boston?

No, because  you can't be Irish if you're gay.

Ryker's Peninsula: If you're not attracted to men, why do some of you dress, act, and look like them?

Probably because (1) men's clothing is more comfortable; (2) women often "act like men" when they feel no great need to "act like women", and (3) the best part about being a lesbian is you don't have to care whether or not men find you attractive.

SurfaceTension: I don't want to know what lesbians do in bed. I can figure that much out for myself.

What I want to know is how do they know they're done with sex? With us guys, we spurt and that pretty much signals the end or at least the beginning of the end. But lesbians could go at it for hours if they wanted to. So how do they know to be done?

You get hungry eventually.

Ryker's Peninsula: I like having sexy fun times with my girlfriend and a goat too, but that doesn't mean I go into work every morning dressed like Little Bo Peep.

That goat doesn't belong to you!

Why do many lesbians dislike male-to-female transgender people?  See Michigan Womyn's Music Festival's anti-transgender policy, for example.

In places where lesbians can marry, does the sex drop off dramatically after the honeymoon, or us that just a straight woman thing?

LDM90: In places where lesbians can marry, does the sex drop off dramatically after the honeymoon, or us that just a straight woman thing?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_bed_death

God, is this 1975?  Are you all 15?  None of you know any actual Lesbians and just jabber on about the same stereotypes.  And when she says "Stop asking me these same stupid questions," you call her a Man-hater and attention whore?  Wow.

We had a lot of Lesbians at my college.  And boy were THEY all alike.  They were all COOL.

They were cool because you could hang out with them and there wasn't any pretext.  No worry about sending off the wrong "vibe."  They weren't afraid to be affectionate with guys.  They just were themselves.  And the only thing they judged you on was how cool you were with them just being themselves.  No need for a "Uniform" or any of that bullsh*t, but, hey, small school.

My best female friend came out to me shortly after college. I saw first-hand her struggle with her sexuality.  She didn't freaking "TURN."  You know some times the hardest person to come out to is YOURSELF.

My point is the minute she turned, she cut of all her hair, put on 60 lbs, and adapted the cargo shorts with the button down short sleeve collared shirt. She completely let herself go. WHAT GIVES?

Coming out is like a second adolescence.  Your whole self of identity is turned upside down.  So you look to others.  And maybe you experiment with the Butch look.  You wear stupid clothes because that's what the other Lesbians are doing and it makes you feel more comfortable being part of a group.  You go through a phase until you work out who you are.

Most of the College Dykes were out before so only one of them went Butch and yeah, a good 40-50 lbs, and that's unfortunate.  But she didn't stop being my friend because of it.   Too bad.  She was cute.

This is stupid. As a lesbian who has been out for 20+ years I had thought we had moved on from this sort of dumb-ass list.

Christ on a Penny-farthing... Urgh. Reminds me why I simply avoid the 'sisterhood'...

BarkingUnicorn: And that's the appropriate answer:  "Why do Twinkies remind you of cock?"

Because they're delicious with a yummy cream filling?

Seth'n'Spectrum: Ivandrago: Rev. Skarekroe: Heist: She's missing out. The new Tegan and Sara album is awesome.

/straight male

I know, right?

Married straight male here. I'm going to start gushing.
I love the new album, the albums before and the band. My wife is a casual fan but I forked over $300 and drove to St. Louis so we could see them and get a picture. I hung the autographed poster in my office next to my diploma and pictures of me from the Army. My wife doesn't understand why I love the band so much and neither do I.
But yeah that new album is awesome.
/end gush

I have a working theory that their music stand out because it's proactively romantic. However, I doubt I would have come to that realization if I didn't know they were gay.

/first two albums are the best
//next two are also good
///new one is growing on me, whereas Sainthood never did.


"Here's the kicker: does she have any Tegan and Sarah loaded on her iPod?"

#11 - Can I borrow your truck?

tinfoil-hat maggie: Omahawg: tinfoil-hat maggie: rynthetyn: Shedim: rynthetyn: Stupidest question I was ever asked, bar none: Whether my dislike of Twinkies (because apparently not liking a particular item of pre-processed junk food is unfathomable to some people) was because Twinkies reminded me of cocks. Yes, I was asked that, for reals.

That's... very sad. Dare I ask how you replied?

I was so shocked by the abject stupidity of the question that I was pretty much speechless. Like, who would even look at a Twinkie and have that thought come to mind?

So dare I assume it was a guy that was asking? Did the person really like Twinkies? O_0

maggie maggie missed ya

Sorry, just things going on, been lurking a bit, not sure if I'm back or not really or where I am.

There she is :)

Mailed you. Hope all is well.

Here's my Lesbian question:

What makes you assume anyone truly gives a damn about who you masterbate with?

The lesbian article writer

How do lesbians decide which one gets to complain about the gutters and the full trash can and the spider on the ceiling and the car that needs an oil change while the other one has had a hard day and just wants to watch the goddamn game already?

Ryker's Peninsula: If you're not attracted to men, why do some of you dress, act, and look like them?

Oh, for fark's sake. Sexual identity =/= Gender identity

Sometimes they're related, and sometimes they're not. Sometimes people just feel more comfortable in a certain type of clothing. I know some lesbians who wear only men's clothing, some who wear women's clothing, and some who wear both. It's not about "acting like a man", it's about dressing and acting like "you". I can't think of anyone who doesn't have a closet full of stuff that they wear over and over because it's comfy, and they like it. Besides, some girls are into that look. Urr'body wanna get laid, man.

ciberido: Probably because (1) men's clothing is more comfortable; (2) women often "act like men" when they feel no great need to "act like women", and (3) the best part about being a lesbian is you don't have to care whether or not men find you attractive.

I'll second this. All the lesbians I know wear 'The Uniform' because it's practical, comfortable, and they feel no need to impress you. They also often find the skater look to be cute.

/all the women I've ever been attracted to dressed skater :o
//dudes are still pretty hot though
///skater dudes are usually just dirty though...

LDM90: How do lesbians decide which one gets to complain about the gutters and the full trash can and the spider on the ceiling and the car that needs an oil change while the other one has had a hard day and just wants to watch the goddamn game already?

The same way straight couples do

/my husband doesn't do Spiders. I can't be forced to mow the lawn.

glompoc: To the Author:

What if you weren't a lesbian? What would you write about?

"Why am I Not a Lesbian?"

TheVeryDeadIanMartin: How about, why do you keep talking about being lesbian? I really don't care.

I don't know.  Why do you come into a post about lesbians to biatch about how boring you find the topic?  That seems a bit counterproductive.

boinkingbill: I have heard plenty of lesbians talking about how they do the strap-on or the fun they had with the double dildo.  I have never heard couple of gay guys ever mention doing the double plastic vagina or arguing over who gets to wear the plastic vagina.  Penis envy is alive and well in women.

That's what the pooper is for.

Popular Opinion: i know this is going to be offensive to some...so sorry in advance...

but how many lesbians are just straight women who have given up on attracting a man?

I don't know about the proportion of "lesbians" for whom that applies, but I'm absolutely convinced this is one of the major causes of the phenomenon "lesbian bed death".

Infobahn: ModernLuddite: Why aren't lesbians allowed to have fun/sense of humor?

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 485x378]

Really?  It took this long?

I think the interesting thing here is that the funniest comedienne I know of is a lesbian.  Causation/correlation?  Discuss.

Witness99: dk47: If you like women, why do you want a woman who looks and acts like a man?  Seriously.  No seriously can someone answer this?

/Same goes for gay men who like effeminate gay men

Lesbians like lesbians, which fall along a complex spectrum. Regardless of how they "present" outwardly, they are not a straight male, nor straight female. It's kind of like how Obama is not black, nor white. He's a mix that is neither one nor the other. (But somehow he's considered the first black president, go figure).

Anyways, as any frustrated and befuddled man can tell you, women are very emotionally complex and process situations much different than men. They have different needs. They want the kind of love and understanding they can't get from men. The attraction is less physical/sexual as everyone keeps implying, but really more mental. Safer, where they dont risk as much man/woman relationship pain. They understand how female brains operate, they understand the same language, they know how their partner is feeling because they can relate. That's my guess anyway.

So what you are saying is lesbians are emotionally lazy and fearful?

Myria: Why do many lesbians dislike male-to-female transgender people?  See Michigan Womyn's Music Festival's anti-transgender policy, for example.

Because they fundamentally don't believe that transwomen are really women.  There's some la-di-da about "growing up with male privilege " but as far as I can tell it's just a smokescreen so they can hide their .. . what to call it?  Trans-denial?  Trans-rejection?

It's such a common phenomenon there's got to be a word for it.

/be 2% of the population and proud
//complain about people who are genuinely curious about you
///write pretentious blog about it.........don't profit

Earguy: My question for a lesbian, and I have asked my lesbian friends and never really gotten a good answer:

Look, I get being attracted to a woman.  Guys are gross.  Women are beautiful and they smell and feel good.  But I see many lesbian couples where one is femme and the other is "butch."  You'll even see lesbian weddings where one wears a dress and the other wears a man-tailored suit.   My question is, if you're attracted to masculinity, why not be with a man?

I'm not trying to be a smart ass here.  And I'm not being judgmental.  I'm just perplexed.

Because they're afraid of or intimidated by men.

Popular Opinion: i know this is going to be offensive to some...so sorry in advance...

but how many lesbians are just straight women who have given up on attracting a man?

A maximum of one per couple. The ex-straights are only attracted to full-on-outs, because they're never going to take the leap to bring one another out of the closet.

ciberido: Myria: Why do many lesbians dislike male-to-female transgender people?  See Michigan Womyn's Music Festival's anti-transgender policy, for example.

Because they fundamentally don't believe that transwomen are really women.  There's some la-di-da about "growing up with male privilege " but as far as I can tell it's just a smokescreen so they can hide their .. . what to call it?  Trans-denial?  Trans-rejection?

It's such a common phenomenon there's got to be a word for it.


I'm gonna go with "What is hipocritical-bigotry for $500 Alex"

PapaChester: To answer the last question, short hair doesn't look good on anyone.

I know you are just fishing for pics of hot short haired chicks, so I'll toss a few your way.
Allison Scagliotti, of "Warehouse 13" fame:


Allison Mack, of "Smallville" fame:

ModernLuddite: Why aren't lesbians allowed to have fun/sense of humor?

I find if I'm acting like an asshole around people who are known as being "funny" or "friendly" I get a little confused, then I look at my own behavior and notice I've been a most inconsiderate ass to them. This might be useful to you.

Spaced Lion
It's kinda hard to describe, but the basic gist of it is:

-Grasp button lightly (VERY lightly) with teeth
-Simultaneously suck and flick with tongue

It takes practice - especially that first part - but not much, fortunately. You're welcome.

Any feel of teeth tends to make me squirm, but I'll give it a try next time. Thanks.

Ciberderio
Because they fundamentally don't believe that transwomen are really women.  There's some la-di-da about "growing up with male privilege " but as far as I can tell it's just a smokescreen so they can hide their .. . what to call it?  Trans-denial?  Trans-rejection?

It's such a common phenomenon there's got to be a word for it.

Janice Raymond's book "The Transsexual Empire" villianizes transsexuals and claims that they are really teh ebil mens trying to colonize and appropriate women's identity so they can...uh...

...do something evil and patriarchal. Or something.

Its by a radical feminist, the kind that are also anti-porn and espouse lesbian separatism.

washington-babylon: PapaChester: To answer the last question, short hair doesn't look good on anyone.

I know you are just fishing for pics of hot short haired chicks, so I'll toss a few your way.
Allison Scagliotti, of "Warehouse 13" fame:
[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 194x260]

Allison Mack, of "Smallville" fame:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 250x333]



What happened to all the Star Trek fans?