Spaced Lion

Plus, one time I kept buying one shots until she taught me the cunnilingual equivalent of the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique,

Please tell me how this is done so  I can teach it men. I'm tired of getting lousy head.

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: tinfoil-hat maggie: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: sgnilward: Why are so many fat and in abusive relationships?

Are lesbians just confused WalMart shoppers?

To be fair, there are fat straight chix too.

I'm personally curious why university lesbians all used to (back in the day) wear The Lesbian Uniform.

Where I lived, early 90s, it was differently coloured running shoes and colorful pants suspenders. A specific brand of jeans too I think. Literally every frickin lesbian I knee dressed like that. Why the uniform?

Okay can we just stop with this, it sounds like "every girl I stereo typed as a lesbian looked like this" well there were others out there I'm sure, well since I really grew up in the '90's I sorta know.

No, more like every girl who came out immediately started wearing The Uniform.

If you wanted to hit on people and you knew that there was a chance you'd be violently repelled, the subject of public shaming, potential beatdowns, constant harassment, etc.,  but you knew that you could take on some silly affectation, like an exaggerated lisp or getting a buzz cut, and that it would signal people who wanted to be hit on that you were in their target group, so to speak, wouldn't  you start wearing "The Uniform" too?

Harry Freakstorm: If you have two lesbians of equal demeanor, i.e. nether is butch, how is it decided that who should make a sandwich for whom post coitus?


They make the sandwich together. They each take one slice of bread and spread some butter on it.

(..... leans back.....)

Then the brunette smears some nice, thick, creamy - whipped, even! - peanut butter on her slice.......

(...... unzip......)

......while the redhead slaps (!) juicy, sticky raspberry jam all over hers.......

(..... unziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppppp..............)

...... so they can mush them together...........


(...... unnnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... [breathe] .........unnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhh......)........

MeanJean: Spaced Lion

Plus, one time I kept buying one shots until she taught me the cunnilingual equivalent of the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique,

Please tell me how this is done so  I can teach it men. I'm tired of getting lousy head.

well hello there

gambitsgirl: Wait. Is tits filtered? Or did I fark up?

tits
titty
titties
boobs
boobies
breasts
knockers
melons
bazoombahs

nope, it's you.  You farked up.  Now show your tits

i.r.id10t: BarkingUnicorn: Ed Grubermann: gambitsgirl:  vajayjay?

My dream is to take everyone who ever says that cursed word and fire them out of a canon into the sun. People sound like four-year-olds when they say that.

I always picture my 56 year-old aunt when I see that word.  She used words like "tallywhacker" and "twitterpated" (long before Twitter).

You telling me you don't know where twitterpated comes from?

[blog.findababysitter.com image 317x159]

Jesus. I'm only 29, and the Twitter statement made me feel old.

I have question.

Do you get hairball like cat?

ModernLuddite: Why aren't lesbians allowed to have fun/sense of humor?

The couple I know do.  Um... then again they hang out with me.  You totally need a sense of humor to do that.

I think I'm weird, I have no interest in married women, other guys GF's and lesbians.

Ryker's Peninsula: If you're not attracted to men, why do some of you dress, act, and look like them?

Think about the reverse. If you're attracted to women, why *don't* you dress, act, and try to look like them?

lordargent: "damn, she would be so much hotter if she cut all of her hair off" is a statement that has never been uttered by a straight man who did not have some sort of a short hair/bald head fetish in the history of mankind.

This.

A diagram is needed for the question

miss diminutive: ModernLuddite: Why aren't lesbians allowed to have fun/sense of humor?

I have several lesbian friends and they all have wicked senses of humour.

/anecdotal evidence

Nothing more entertaining than a lesbian ranting about how crazy women are.

I knew a girl once who was thin and pretty. She dated a guy for years, and seemed to care about her appearance. She was always well groomed and had beautiful long hair. Suddenly, out of now where, she dumped the boy friend and decided she was a lesbian. I understand it may not have been sudden to her, but to the rest of us it was.

My point is the minute she turned, she cut of all her hair, put on 60 lbs, and adapted the cargo shorts with the button down short sleeve collared shirt. She completely let herself go. WHAT GIVES?

11. Would you be a lesbian if you weren't allowed to tell anyone that you were a lesbian?

Transpogue: SurfaceTension: I don't want to know what lesbians do in bed. I can figure that much out for myself.

What I want to know is how do they know they're done with sex? With us guys, we spurt and that pretty much signals the end or at least the beginning of the end. But lesbians could go at it for hours if they wanted to. So how do they know to be done?

It's questions like these that truly make me wonder if the person asking it has ever been with a woman.

Are you saying that as a dude, as soon as you get off, it's over?  What about for your female partner?  I would sincerely hope you have some sense of when she's done.

We're done when the sheets are soaked, dude.

Easy, wait for her toes to curl, eyes roll back in her head, hips shake and she squirts. As you put it, when the sheets are soaked. Besides, this way she's more likely to want another go at it another day.

i'm a sensitive caring man.

aka a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

/took this long?

Ivandrago: Rev. Skarekroe: Heist: She's missing out. The new Tegan and Sara album is awesome.

/straight male

I know, right?

Married straight male here. I'm going to start gushing.
I love the new album, the albums before and the band. My wife is a casual fan but I forked over $300 and drove to St. Louis so we could see them and get a picture. I hung the autographed poster in my office next to my diploma and pictures of me from the Army. My wife doesn't understand why I love the band so much and neither do I.
But yeah that new album is awesome.
/end gush

I have a working theory that their music stand out because it's proactively romantic. However, I doubt I would have come to that realization if I didn't know they were gay.

/first two albums are the best
//next two are also good
///new one is growing on me, whereas Sainthood never did.

rynthetyn: BlousyBrown: I knew a girl once who was thin and pretty. She dated a guy for years, and seemed to care about her appearance. She was always well groomed and had beautiful long hair. Suddenly, out of now where, she dumped the boy friend and decided she was a lesbian. I understand it may not have been sudden to her, but to the rest of us it was.

My point is the minute she turned, she cut of all her hair, put on 60 lbs, and adapted the cargo shorts with the button down short sleeve collared shirt. She completely let herself go. WHAT GIVES?

She was probably dressing all feminine as a way to overcompensate so that no one would guess who she really was. People tend to do that.

So becoming overweight was who she really is?  Does becoming a lesbian mean you have to become unhealthy? Being fat is not a statement of sisterhood, it's just being fat.

MFAWG: dudicon: Cyberluddite: I have one.  I've asked a few lesbian friends this question and they can't figure it out either.  And it's this:

What's the deal with some lesbians (pretty much exclusively chubby, butch ones--never femmes) who wear shorts as their casual apparel of choice all winter when it's cold outside and nobody else is wearing them--especially given that these same lesbians often tend to not wear shorts in the summer when the weather is hot and everyone else wears them?

Have others noticed this?  Or is this just a  local lesbian fashion trend, not seen elsewhere?  I dunno, but the bottom line is that if you see a woman wearing shorts around here in December when everyone else is bundled up in warm clothes, 99.9% of the time they are both (a) fat and (b) a lesbian.  WTF is up with that?  Any TF lesbians wanna take a shot at answering that one?

I've seen this quite a few times in the Vancouver area

Maybe they use the shorts to regulate the extra fat-heat

The 'shorts all the time look' was a thing in the Bay Area/San Jose when I lived down there in the late 90s. I recall it as being a Latino thing mostly. I've seen it up here in Seattle too, but never associated it with lesbians.

Tampa checking in. It seems to be the required uniform down here.

I suppose "penis" is a really efficient shape to inserting into the vag...its like comparing apples to cucumbers, so to speak.

Penis =/ Penis shaped object.

To the Author:

What if you weren't a lesbian? What would you write about?

dopekitty74: gambitsgirl: Banned on the Run: gambitsgirl: Ed Grubermann: gambitsgirl:  vajayjay?

My dream is to take everyone who ever says that cursed word and fire them out of a canon into the sun. People sound like four-year-olds when they say that.

Will you buy me cotton candy first?

How do you feel about hoo-hah?

I say wangdangler for boy naughty bits

Never let your Dingle-dangle dangle in the dirt
Always keep your Dingle-dangle tied up in your shirt.

/heard that from my daughter a couple of yrs ago...
//she's an interesting one...

Actually that and a few variants of it are a common cadence for running in formation in the military.

MeanJean: Please tell me how this is done so  I can teach it to men. I'm tired of getting lousy head.

It's kinda hard to describe, but the basic gist of it is:

-Grasp button lightly (VERY lightly) with teeth
-Simultaneously suck and flick with tongue

It takes practice - especially that first part - but not much, fortunately. You're welcome.

rynthetyn: Shedim: rynthetyn: Stupidest question I was ever asked, bar none: Whether my dislike of Twinkies (because apparently not liking a particular item of pre-processed junk food is unfathomable to some people) was because Twinkies reminded me of cocks. Yes, I was asked that, for reals.

That's... very sad. Dare I ask how you replied?

I was so shocked by the abject stupidity of the question that I was pretty much speechless. Like, who would even look at a Twinkie and have that thought come to mind?

I knew a guy in highschool who refused to eat anything white and creamy because he said it reminded him of cum. No mayo, tartar sauce, ranch dressing, etc. Looking back on it I can't decide if it was a weird hyper masculine display, he was just that homophobic, or secretly in the closet and trying his best to not look gay.

no hot lesbian pic thread?

/I am disappoint

7. My mate's sister's personal trainer is a lesbian. Do you want her number?

Not that this one isn't annoying, but it's not exactly lesbian-specific.  Admit that you're single to basically any casual acquaintance and you'll get shiat like "you know, my roommate's niece is available" or "I know this chick that works in marketing that mentioned she's single too...".

It's sort of a natural attempt to give a conversation an actual purpose instead of more meaningless conversational filler.

TheGreenMonkey: Hmm, interesting article.  But, I'm still trying to care about the sexuality of others.  Seems like it's none of my business what people  in a consenting adult relationshipdo in their own bedrooms.

The article is talking about dumb questions people have asked after she brought the subject up, either in conversation or with a column.  They don't care, they're pretending to care for the purposes of polite conversation, for the most part, I think.  And they're pretending to care because she mentioned it as if it was important to her.

How about, why do you keep talking about being lesbian? I really don't care.

miss diminutive: ModernLuddite: Why aren't lesbians allowed to have fun/sense of humor?

I have several lesbian friends and they all have wicked senses of humour.

/anecdotal evidence

Me too. Is it data yet? :-)

I have heard plenty of lesbians talking about how they do the strap-on or the fun they had with the double dildo.  I have never heard couple of gay guys ever mention doing the double plastic vagina or arguing over who gets to wear the plastic vagina.  Penis envy is alive and well in women.

Bull dykes are my favorite, they overly try to be masculine, tend to open their mouth to make a comment at any given point and dress like a man.  Whats funnier is how fast they get pissed off about it, they have to have some reason to defend themselves, even though everything is true.
I guess the same goes towards calling someone a redneck or ghetto rat, if they managed to have any education or class they wouldn't act like pure trash, but I guess society has a way to accept them like everyone regardless. It's one way to flaunt your "style" but when you overplay your cards, what you really need to know is people really do laugh AT you and not with you.

/nothing wrong with self expression at all, but when you kick it up a few notches higher then it should be, fark off.

MeanJean: dk47

No it goes beyond taste.  There is at least 33 1/3% of lesbians who like masculine girls.  There are MAXIMUM 1/2 of 1% of straight guys that like chicks with dicks.

You are aware that men who consume transsexual pornography overwhelmingly identify with as straight, right?

Seriously. Every trans lady I've ever known has reported that straight guys are the primary demographic interested in them.

The thing that I think y'all are forgetting is that a trans person IS, mentally, socially, romantically and every-other-way-that-matters, the gender that they present as, albeit occasionally with different bits. If you are a straight dude who likes ladies and who is either okay with and/or attracted to ladies who happen to have dude parts, then a trans lady might be just as valid a choice of partner as a cis lady. ('Cisgenderered' is like OEM or completely stock, just as 'transgendered' is like 'aftermarket mods.' Lots of things are best explained with car metaphors.) Conversely, if you are a straight lady who likes dudes and is okay with and/or attracted to dudes who have lady parts, well, then a trans dude might be a valid choice of partner. Or not. Whatever makes you and the other party happy.

Some straight, cis dudes only like straight, cis ladies, some straight cis dudes only like straight trans ladies, and every other gender and OEM/aftermarket configuration imaginable for happy couples (or occasional menages a' trois, committed polyamorous triads, quads and pentads, etc., etc.,) is out there. And then when you add femininity and masculinity in one's gender presentation to the mix, you get EVEN MORE options.

Basically, human sexuality, like most things, is like car ownership. Statistically, most people are happy with a plain, stock Toyota Camry or Ford Focus, but some people out there have tricked-out rat rods and rice-rockets with aftermarket mods, fancy paint and performance accessories out the yin-yang.

But no matter what, we all have to use the same parking spaces, merge on the same highways and pay the same shiatty tolls. We're all humans and we all have dignity and rights.

So it would be terrible manners to voice a lower opinion of anyone for their choice of romantic partner as much as their choice of car. We might think that a tricked-out Accord is tasteless and vulgar or that a trans lady would look better if she made slightly better fashion choices, but we'd never say so aloud. To criticize another person's private property or romantic partner in public is boorish. Civilized people only ever criticize artistic works put forward for criticism, political positions of public figures and the food, and the latter only when the chef isn't present and listening.