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(The Sun)   When the porn makes you feel like inserting an eel ... that's a moray   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 122
    More: Repeat, Guangdong Province  
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9527 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2013 at 11:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



122 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-04-09 02:38:21 PM  
img.pandawhale.com

well done subby

/+1
 
2013-04-09 02:55:34 PM  
How in the HELL did this get redlit?
 
2013-04-09 03:18:39 PM  

tnpir: How in the HELL did this get redlit?

 
2013-04-09 04:26:37 PM  
Seriously, what the fark! This was goddamned hilarious!
 
2013-04-09 04:45:14 PM  
Such beauty, ended so suddenly and without cause.
 
2013-04-09 05:45:59 PM  
This deserves a green.
 
2013-04-09 07:45:26 PM  

tnpir: How in the HELL did this get redlit?


El repeato

It may get a REPEAT tag for great justice, but there you go.
 
2013-04-09 11:30:18 PM  
Comedy Gold.
 
2013-04-09 11:30:58 PM  
Eelmiwinks
 
2013-04-09 11:31:52 PM  
preformed the bizarre act after seeing it done in a kinky blue movie.

I've watched a helluva a lot of porn and I've never seen that preformed before. I mean, I've seen an octopus...
 
2013-04-09 11:32:06 PM  
HOTY material right there.
 
2013-04-09 11:33:27 PM  
Subby, truly epic!
 
2013-04-09 11:34:45 PM  
So was his hovercraft already full or what?
 
2013-04-09 11:34:58 PM  
Just end the Headline of the Year contest now.
 
2013-04-09 11:35:52 PM  
That's the best headline I've ever seen. It beats the bear/heart one. Truly genius!
 
2013-04-09 11:36:13 PM  
In other news, eel skeletons look like sperm made of bones.
 
2013-04-09 11:36:26 PM  

Ray Vaughn: Just end the Headline of the Year contest now.


There are different categories, but hopefully this one ends up in "word play".
 
2013-04-09 11:37:58 PM  
It's a repeat but it is MAGNIFICENT.
 
2013-04-09 11:38:40 PM  
Where can I get myself one of them eels?  Just for research purposes, you understand.
 
2013-04-09 11:39:29 PM  

fusillade762: preformed the bizarre act after seeing it done in a kinky blue movie.

I've watched a helluva a lot of porn and I've never seen that preformed before. I mean, I've seen an octopus...


It's a testament to my perversion that I'm pretty damn sure I know what video it is.
 
2013-04-09 11:39:43 PM  
The Sun wasn't there.
 
2013-04-09 11:40:24 PM  
In his "stomach"?

No. No it isn't. What, is the person responsible for captions 8 years old? Might as well just say "tummy", moron.
 
2013-04-09 11:40:56 PM  
Headline of the year material...seriously
 
2013-04-09 11:41:35 PM  

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: So was his hovercraft already full or what?


If by hovercraft you mean bum
 
2013-04-09 11:42:00 PM  
Soon...
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-09 11:42:39 PM  
WHY DO WE NEED A REPEAT??!??!? WHY WHY WHY

And why do I need to know exactly how long the "Asian swamp eel" was anyway? Does it matter after the first 13 inches?

OK, maybe I should rephrase that last part.
 
2013-04-09 11:44:25 PM  

r1niceboy: That's the best headline I've ever seen. It beats the bear/heart one. Truly genius!


Yep, not like that that joke has ever been made before...
'When an eel's up your butt
and it feasts on your guts
That's a Moray'
http://www.fark.com/comments/5259392/60067414/Well-all-die-someday-b #c 60067414
 
2013-04-09 11:44:27 PM  
i145.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-09 11:44:45 PM  
Nothing will ever defeat the subtle majesty and beauty of Butt Lightyear.

www.geekologie.com

Truly representative of America right there.

Or, we could go for the brave, brave Buttchugger.

i.qkme.me
 
2013-04-09 11:45:09 PM  
I hate it when they get away like that..

//not that I would know...
 
2013-04-09 11:45:18 PM  
Destined to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology....
 
2013-04-09 11:45:41 PM  
Justice has been served.  This may be the best headline I've ever read on Fark.  Subby, you have my vote for HOTY, and Best Headline of the History of Fark.   I don't know how it can get any better than this.
 
2013-04-09 11:47:01 PM  
I laughed. I cried. I fapped. Would +1 again.
 
2013-04-09 11:51:00 PM  
Epic headline!  +1
 
2013-04-09 11:51:27 PM  
I'm highly upset that one of the categories on YouPorn is not eel sex.

Reportedly he was overheard saying to the doctors, "Life is hard and so am I. You better give me something so I don't die. Novocaine for the soul, before I sputter out."
 
2013-04-09 11:52:31 PM  
Porn addict: you're doing it wrong.
 
2013-04-09 11:54:10 PM  
How ghastly.
 
2013-04-09 11:54:23 PM  
Legend holds that giant eels were the basis for the mythical beast known as the 'Kracken'. Coincidence?
 
2013-04-09 11:55:43 PM  
Subby, that is the headline of a comedy genius. I salute you.
 
2013-04-09 11:56:07 PM  
One in a million headline, subby. One in a million...
 
2013-04-09 11:56:08 PM  
I've got eels, they're multiplyin'.
 
2013-04-09 11:56:27 PM  
I stroke your eel subby.
Well done!
 
2013-04-09 11:56:31 PM  

fusillade762: preformed the bizarre act after seeing it done in a kinky blue movie.

I've watched a helluva a lot of porn and I've never seen that preformed before. I mean, I've seen an octopus...


WTF kinda porn do you watch?

link?
 
2013-04-09 11:57:51 PM  

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: So was his hovercraft already full or what?


His hovercraft was full of dildos. The eel was a change of pace.
 
2013-04-09 11:57:58 PM  

Fano: How ghastly.


In all fairness Ive never heard Ghastly[TF] mention anything about eels in the anus.
 
2013-04-09 11:59:09 PM  
By golly..subby.
 
2013-04-09 11:59:32 PM  
Sometimes you eel up your butt.

1.bp.blogspot.com

Sometimes you don't.
 
2013-04-10 12:00:09 AM  

Oldiron_79: Fano: How ghastly.

In all fairness Ive never heard Ghastly[TF] mention anything about eels in the anus.


Give him time.
 
2013-04-10 12:06:04 AM  
Someone's played a Viper game, I see.
 
2013-04-10 12:06:27 AM  

thepeterd: r1niceboy: That's the best headline I've ever seen. It beats the bear/heart one. Truly genius!

Yep, not like that that joke has ever been made before...
'When an eel's up your butt
and it feasts on your guts
That's a Moray'
http://www.fark.com/comments/5259392/60067414/Well-all-die-someday-b #c 60067414


Yea, I remembered that from the other thread too. Unless gas giant submitted it, I'm not very impressed.
 
2013-04-10 12:08:22 AM  

scottydoesntknow: thepeterd: r1niceboy: That's the best headline I've ever seen. It beats the bear/heart one. Truly genius!

Yep, not like that that joke has ever been made before...
'When an eel's up your butt
and it feasts on your guts
That's a Moray'
http://www.fark.com/comments/5259392/60067414/Well-all-die-someday-b #c 60067414

Yea, I remembered that from the other thread too. Unless gas giant submitted it, I'm not very impressed.


yup.  harvested joke from repeat.
 
2013-04-10 12:08:36 AM  

The Snow Dog: In his "stomach"?

No. No it isn't. What, is the person responsible for captions 8 years old? Might as well just say "tummy", moron.


Did you think, for even a moment, that the eel had really slithered all the way through 25+ feet of bowel and intestine to his stomach, or did you naturally assume the writer meant "abdomen"?  The latter, of course.  Do you not realize that "stomach" and "belly" and "tummy" are all words generally used to mean abdomen?  Of course, you did.  So, that just means you're being a pedantic dick-sneeze.  Uh-oh, dicks don't sneeze!  Found your next post!
 
2013-04-10 12:09:25 AM  
Tuesday nights are always a good time for puns. Well done subby..
I didn't see it the first time around so a repeat is OK with me.
 
2013-04-10 12:10:18 AM  
Well if we're going to allow  mondegreens
 
2013-04-10 12:10:32 AM  

Aquapope: The Snow Dog: In his "stomach"?

No. No it isn't. What, is the person responsible for captions 8 years old? Might as well just say "tummy", moron.

Did you think, for even a moment, that the eel had really slithered all the way through 25+ feet of bowel and intestine to his stomach, or did you naturally assume the writer meant "abdomen"?  The latter, of course.  Do you not realize that "stomach" and "belly" and "tummy" are all words generally used to mean abdomen?  Of course, you did.  So, that just means you're being a pedantic dick-sneeze.  Uh-oh, dicks don't sneeze!  Found your next post!


Your mom makes dicks sneeze.

/grabs a tissue
 
2013-04-10 12:11:15 AM  
SuperNinjaToad:
WTF kinda porn do you watch?

link?


I've only seen them inserted into vaginas, but I'm not surprised if there's anal clips out there.
Asia is a continent full of mysteries.
 
2013-04-10 12:12:00 AM  
Oh, well played Subby, well played. First repeat I have ever seen that [bearsrepeating.jpg].
 
2013-04-10 12:13:42 AM  

MemeSlave: Your mom makes dicks sneeze.


His name is Ron, not Dick, and he's allergic to her cats.  Or.. do you mean... DOH!  Well, yeah, but that was in high school...and once last year.
 
2013-04-10 12:13:44 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Oldiron_79: Fano: How ghastly.

In all fairness Ive never heard Ghastly[TF] mention anything about eels in the anus.

Give him time.


Sounds like something Ghastly would be into.

She drew a LOT of testicle porn back in the day.
 
2013-04-10 12:14:19 AM  
Release, the Kraken!

I'm trying, I'm trying!
 
2013-04-10 12:15:04 AM  
This could have made a good ballsack conundrum type thread if said guy was a Farker.
 
2013-04-10 12:20:19 AM  
If down there it's an eel you feel, that was a moray

If it takes a snip to to clear it, that was surgery
 
2013-04-10 12:22:05 AM  
You all may think this is funny, but it's more common than you'd think-it actually happened to my cousin, and he almost died in the ER.

Luckily, he's from my mom's side of the family (pike congers) and they can hold their breath something fierce.
 
2013-04-10 12:24:30 AM  
Early hoty candidate.

Bravo subby.
 
2013-04-10 12:26:46 AM  
fusillade762: I mean, I've seen an octopus...

So you're saying that "Octopussy" isn't just a James Bond flick?
 
2013-04-10 12:27:56 AM  

hardinparamedic: She drew a LOT of testicle porn back in the day.


Porn with testicles isn't so odd.
 
2013-04-10 12:30:08 AM  
Removing an eel from a man's swollen rear, that's logistics
 
2013-04-10 12:33:14 AM  
It might be gross, but thats one tough as nails SOB. To put an eel in your ass AND drive yourself to the hospital without dying from shock/internal bleeding is mighty impressive.
 
2013-04-10 12:37:17 AM  
+1 subby, I LOL'd and Deano would applaud too.

/That x-ray is freakin' scary
 
2013-04-10 12:37:29 AM  
A+++ Headline. Will read again.  :-)

/Thanks subby, that was beautiful.
 
2013-04-10 12:38:33 AM  
U.S. v. Gigliemi, 819 F.2d 451 (4th Cir. 1987).
 
2013-04-10 12:48:13 AM  

magneticmushroom: fusillade762: preformed the bizarre act after seeing it done in a kinky blue movie.

I've watched a helluva a lot of porn and I've never seen that preformed before. I mean, I've seen an octopus...

It's a testament to my perversion that I'm pretty damn sure I know what video it is.


lol. Yes I know that video too.
 
2013-04-10 12:48:56 AM  
img.thesun.co.uk
upload.wikimedia.org

/Someone watched too much SG1...
//It doesn't go in the butt
///Jaffa Nooooo!
 
2013-04-10 12:54:01 AM  

sendtodave: hardinparamedic: She drew a LOT of testicle porn back in the day.

Porn with testicles isn't so odd.


www.teeshirtsoup.com

Uh, how you say... octopus... testicles.
 
2013-04-10 12:57:58 AM  
He shouldn't have stopped in the Florin Sea.
 
2013-04-10 01:02:05 AM  

sendtodave: hardinparamedic: She drew a LOT of testicle porn back in the day.

Porn with testicles isn't so odd.


Should have been tenticles that posted
 
2013-04-10 01:02:31 AM  
okey I found this wierd... He is in China and they are going to charge him with Animal Cruelty? The cook live fish and serve them when they are still alive and this is cruel?

?????
 
2013-04-10 01:03:08 AM  
MBOODA's version in the original thread made me laugh out loud. This one seems like a repeat ripoff.
 
2013-04-10 01:04:55 AM  
FINALLY. This is the first truly Headline of the Year material.

Not even ashamed to say I am jealous. Great job subby.
 
2013-04-10 01:06:26 AM  

hardinparamedic: sendtodave: hardinparamedic: She drew a LOT of testicle porn back in the day.

Porn with testicles isn't so odd.

Should have been tenticles that posted


Tenticles posting testicles?

Madness.
 
2013-04-10 01:07:36 AM  

r1niceboy: That's the best headline I've ever seen. It beats the bear/heart one. Truly genius!


I'm not sure anything can beat that headline but this is indeed in the same league.
 
2013-04-10 01:08:40 AM  
Bravo, subby.  Bravo.
 
2013-04-10 01:11:10 AM  
Bravo subby, you magnificent bastard.
 
2013-04-10 01:15:41 AM  
Meh. I've seen better.

/just kidding
//i've NEVER seen better.
///have an extra slashie, on me
 
2013-04-10 01:18:02 AM  
 
2013-04-10 01:20:23 AM  
img.thesun.co.uk

s3.media.squarespace.com

Sounds legit.
 
2013-04-10 01:23:22 AM  

Uzzah: U.S. v. Gigliemi, 819 F.2d 451 (4th Cir. 1987).


Man, I would have loved to had to do discovery on that case....

HATED, I mean I would have hated it.
 
2013-04-10 01:26:22 AM  
INCONCEIVABLE!
 
2013-04-10 01:33:01 AM  
Elements of the past and the future coming together to form something not quite as good as either.
 
2013-04-10 02:18:24 AM  
A hardcore guy would have used a baby alligator....
 
2013-04-10 02:20:30 AM  
Awesome headline! Brilliant!
 
2013-04-10 02:45:29 AM  

Uzzah: U.S. v. Gigliemi, 819 F.2d 451 (4th Cir. 1987).


Oh, that's rich. Charged with transporting obscene material. Defense: "It's not porn, because it doesn't appeal to the prurient interest. ...

...because it's too disgusting."

The court seemed a little too interested in describing the details:

"the man and younger woman ... touch busy tongues together"
"the boar looks eagerly after her"
"When done, the boar falls off to one side in apparent exhaustion or relaxation"

/Dear Penthouse Letters...
 
2013-04-10 02:45:59 AM  

Ray Vaughn: Just end the Headline of the Year contest now.

 
2013-04-10 02:48:16 AM  
images4.wikia.nocookie.net

Well done subby.
 
2013-04-10 02:59:22 AM  
 
2013-04-10 03:09:24 AM  

DanZero: Not exactly original/HOTY material here, folks


And yet of your examples, only one tried and succeeded to get the meter right, and it was nowhere near as funny.

What you've just done is proven how great a job Subby did where so many others have dismally failed, Captain Sour Grapes.
 
2013-04-10 03:09:44 AM  
When you're hit by a jug in a South Auckland pub, that's a Maori
 
2013-04-10 03:14:53 AM  

sendtodave: hardinparamedic: sendtodave: hardinparamedic: She drew a LOT of testicle porn back in the day.

Porn with testicles isn't so odd.

Should have been tenticles that posted

Tenticles posting testicles?

Madness.


Madness?

This is SPARTA!!!!
 
2013-04-10 03:19:24 AM  
O green beast of stamping hearts out.

/i flunked latin
//would like to flunk Alyssa Millano
 
2013-04-10 03:19:51 AM  
"When you're swimming in the creek and an eel nips your cheek, that's a morayyyy"

- The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
 
2013-04-10 03:34:05 AM  
God I haven't laughed so hard at a headline in months! Thank you subby. Awesomely done with such skill and finesse.
 
2013-04-10 03:35:53 AM  
O.O

+1
 
2013-04-10 03:43:15 AM  

DanZero: The world's coral reefs have herpes. That's a moray

♫ When you go for a swim and something bites your limb, that's a moray ♪

Lost wedding ring found in massive aquarium tank. Returned more than three months after it was lost. That's a moray

A raptorial maw with a pharyngeal jaw; that's a moray

Apparently, when a fisherman loses his virginity to a ray, it's sodomy. When he loses it to an eel, that's a moray

When the teeth hit your flesh, and you're bleeding to death, that's a moray

[i.qkme.me image 609x411]

Not exactly original/HOTY material here, folks


There's no such thing as an original idea, Capt. Buzzkill.
 
2013-04-10 03:48:39 AM  
DanZero:
Not exactly original/HOTY material here, folks

Someone is mad they didn't submit this with a funnier headline.
 
2013-04-10 04:02:56 AM  
When the head's on the beach, with a nose you can't reach, that's a Mo'ai.
 
2013-04-10 05:15:00 AM  
Was the eel named Lemmiwinks?
 
2013-04-10 07:23:33 AM  
I remember a buddy of mine had an old VHS porn movie that looked like it was dubbed off an old 8 mm film a hundred times over that had a some guys holding a gal down & trying to stuff a squirming eel in a girls snatch. Lots of other interesting bits in that film if I recall.
 
2013-04-10 08:02:03 AM  
I'm just shocked to learn that there's a repeat tag
 
2013-04-10 08:20:07 AM  
I look at CTs all day long and I can assure you that the picture is BS.  There is no way an eel would travel from your anus to the stomach.
 
2013-04-10 08:25:07 AM  
One of the BEST headlines ever!!
 
2013-04-10 08:46:19 AM  
So the safest way to do this is insert the eel tail first?

(One can glean a number of useful life skills from Fark, yes?)

// Gummy Worms seem safer
 
2013-04-10 09:23:38 AM  

stuhayes2010: I look at CTs all day long and I can assure you that the picture is BS.  There is no way an eel would travel from your anus to the stomach.


the eel isn't IN the stomach... if anything, I'd say the thing managed to wriggle enough to push the large intestine out of position.  This would be somewhat verified by the shadows in the background part of the image.

Mind you, I'm not convinced it's a real image, but the eel definitely isn't in the stomach.
 
2013-04-10 09:50:19 AM  
Well done subby +1
 
2013-04-10 09:53:31 AM  
Yes, Smitty* that is indeed a most excellent headline.

*feelin' the Old School love this morning.
 
2013-04-10 10:53:59 AM  
Did his nipples explode with delight?
 
2013-04-10 11:14:45 AM  

scottydoesntknow: thepeterd: r1niceboy: That's the best headline I've ever seen. It beats the bear/heart one. Truly genius!

Yep, not like that that joke has ever been made before...
'When an eel's up your butt
and it feasts on your guts
That's a Moray'
http://www.fark.com/comments/5259392/60067414/Well-all-die-someday-b #c 60067414

Yea, I remembered that from the other thread too. Unless gas giant submitted it, I'm not very impressed.


"That's a moray" is a well-established trope. But this one got both the meter AND the rhyme perfect. That, combined with the subject matter, puts it over the top.
 
2013-04-10 11:32:41 AM  
Wait, I thought Dan savage said its a myth that gay men put live animals up their rectums.....he seemed like such an honest man and would be very unbiased on the topic.
 
2013-04-10 12:02:12 PM  

giftedmadness: Wait, I thought Dan savage said its a myth that gay men put live animals up their rectums.....he seemed like such an honest man and would be very unbiased on the topic.


Do we know whether it was a male or female eel?
 
2013-04-10 01:03:24 PM  
i.imgur.com

So I'm guessing the guy was of typical Japanese desires in general, and otaku tastes in particular

/nttiawwt
 
2013-04-10 04:45:58 PM  

cgraves67: In other news, eel skeletons look like sperm made of bones.


Just like Subby's mom?

/oblig.
 
2013-04-10 07:49:32 PM  
The Amore game is something me and my friend Rachel would play for hours.  Reminds me of this thread from way back...

http://www.fark.com/comments/914601/Articulated-finger-armor
 
2013-04-11 07:16:40 AM  
There is likely to be trouble, however, when the eel hits the anus
 
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