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(Talking Points Memo)   Let those who haven't done this before cast the first stone, out the window, at 90 miles per hour   (livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 56
    More: Amusing, Tenn, Mount Carmel, Kingsport  
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2013-04-09 01:52:30 PM
"At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]... he was masturbating

How is that possible?I guess he had the cruise control on? He wasn't wearing a seatbelt? Try it. Driving 90 MPH with your penis out the window masturbating is like auto-fellatio, every guy tries it and finds out its just not possible.
 
2013-04-09 01:52:31 PM
whiskey tango foxtrot
 
2013-04-09 01:52:59 PM
boggling at the logistics...
 
2013-04-09 01:53:07 PM

vernonFL: "At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]... he was masturbating

How is that possible?I guess he had the cruise control on? He wasn't wearing a seatbelt? Try it. Driving 90 MPH with your penis out the window masturbating is like auto-fellatio, every guy tries it and finds out its just not possible.


yeah the mechanics of it are mind boggling
 
2013-04-09 02:09:26 PM
Let he who hath posted a repeat be known as subby.
 
2013-04-09 02:09:55 PM
I do like how everyone here (myself included) isn't visibly offended by the act itself but rather is trying to figure out the mechanics/logistics of the wanking (& probably trying to imagine how <i>they</i> would do it in their own car).

/personally I could see trying it out on the Canadian prairie or eastern Montana (yes, yes, they're pretty much the same thing), nice straight roads that go for miles & miles & miles, no traffic & nothing to hit if you go off the road.  TN on the other hand is filled with twisty mountain(ish) roads & lots of traffic.  I'm impressed at his creative way of attempting suicide
 
2013-04-09 02:13:41 PM
That would explain the urethra full of insect corpses.
 
2013-04-09 02:35:17 PM
Bonus: It wasn't the first time he was cited.

You can't make this stuff up.
 
2013-04-09 02:42:58 PM
♫  Well, now they call me The Breeze... I keep trollin' down the road... ♫
 
2013-04-09 02:43:19 PM
This guy sounds pretty goddamn talented.
 
2013-04-09 03:03:09 PM
This guy's a genius. A crazy, sick goddamn genius.
 
2013-04-09 03:20:04 PM
"At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]... he was masturbating

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-09 03:38:58 PM
ALL TOGETHER NOW!

"AND HIS FARK HANDLE IS?"
 
2013-04-09 03:40:00 PM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Faces of meth?
 
2013-04-09 03:40:31 PM
Drew is a former Tennessee lawmaker?
 
2013-04-09 03:40:37 PM
Another one?  Is this the new Faith Hilling?
 
2013-04-09 03:41:29 PM
That's... impressive.
 
2013-04-09 03:42:34 PM

vernonFL: "At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]... he was masturbating

How is that possible?I guess he had the cruise control on? He wasn't wearing a seatbelt? Try it. Driving 90 MPH with your penis out the window masturbating is like auto-fellatio, every guy tries it and finds out its just not possible.


For you maybe.

I think you're failing to consider just how big his penis is.
 
2013-04-09 03:42:51 PM
Hey Mark Foley, John Ensign, David Vitter and Mark Sanford?  This guy laughs at your puny sex scandals. Out the window.  At 90 miles per hour.
 
2013-04-09 03:45:19 PM
"He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and masturbating," witness Deborah Sturgill said.

Well, sure.  90 mph generates a lot of wind, and wicks away moisture.
 
2013-04-09 03:45:36 PM

Recoil Therapy: I do like how everyone here (myself included) isn't visibly offended by the act itself but rather is trying to figure out the mechanics/logistics of the wanking (& probably trying to imagine how <i>they</i> would do it in their own car).

/personally I could see trying it out on the Canadian prairie or eastern Montana (yes, yes, they're pretty much the same thing), nice straight roads that go for miles & miles & miles, no traffic & nothing to hit if you go off the road.  TN on the other hand is filled with twisty mountain(ish) roads & lots of traffic.  I'm impressed at his creative way of attempting suicide


My uncle told me a story about a bowling ball once. He was in the Army stationed somewhere down in Texas and was going to a buddy's house for the weekend down in Houston. Well, Pasadena actually.
Anyway they are driving on one of those straight ass two lane roads down there and his buddy has this old bowling ball in the back of the car and since he's planning on getting a new one soon they decide it would be a good idea to toss the bowling ball out the window of the car.

Now just to make it all the better they decide to speed up so they are doing around 90-95 and my uncle dumps the bowling ball out the window. Much to his surprise it bounces back up even with the window just a spinning like a motherf*cker. Those were my uncle's exact words when he told me the story, by the way, "just a spinning like a motherf*cker".

Well, the drive on down the road about a mile with this bowling ball bouncing alongside the car showing no signs of the forced of nature taking hold and slowing things down. Lucky for them, the road began a gentle turn to the left and the last they saw of it, the bowling ball was bouncing across the desert.
 
2013-04-09 03:46:06 PM

Recoil Therapy: I do like how everyone here (myself included) isn't visibly offended by the act itself but rather is trying to figure out the mechanics/logistics of the wanking (& probably trying to imagine how <i>they</i> would do it in their own car).


We're relieved he was waving his junk at legal adults, and of the opposite sex to boot.
 
2013-04-09 03:46:43 PM
OKAY!

So....Jebus says "Let he amongst ye who is without sin cast the first stone."

THWACK!(fist sized rock to the cranium)

So...Jebus says: "Mom, sometimes you really piss me off."
 
2013-04-09 03:47:30 PM

Old_Chief_Scott: Recoil Therapy: I do like how everyone here (myself included) isn't visibly offended by the act itself but rather is trying to figure out the mechanics/logistics of the wanking (& probably trying to imagine how <i>they</i> would do it in their own car).

/personally I could see trying it out on the Canadian prairie or eastern Montana (yes, yes, they're pretty much the same thing), nice straight roads that go for miles & miles & miles, no traffic & nothing to hit if you go off the road.  TN on the other hand is filled with twisty mountain(ish) roads & lots of traffic.  I'm impressed at his creative way of attempting suicide

My uncle told me a story about a bowling ball once. He was in the Army stationed somewhere down in Texas and was going to a buddy's house for the weekend down in Houston. Well, Pasadena actually.
Anyway they are driving on one of those straight ass two lane roads down there and his buddy has this old bowling ball in the back of the car and since he's planning on getting a new one soon they decide it would be a good idea to toss the bowling ball out the window of the car.

Now just to make it all the better they decide to speed up so they are doing around 90-95 and my uncle dumps the bowling ball out the window. Much to his surprise it bounces back up even with the window just a spinning like a motherf*cker. Those were my uncle's exact words when he told me the story, by the way, "just a spinning like a motherf*cker".

Well, the drive on down the road about a mile with this bowling ball bouncing alongside the car showing no signs of the forced of nature taking hold and slowing things down. Lucky for them, the road began a gentle turn to the left and the last they saw of it, the bowling ball was bouncing across the desert.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-04-09 03:48:13 PM

brap: That would explain the urethra full of insect corpses.


img.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-09 03:51:14 PM
You can laugh at this man all you want, but I bet he came out of this incident 100% public lice free.
 
2013-04-09 03:51:14 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ♫  Well, now they call me The Breeze... I keep trollin' down the road... ♫


DAYUM...I went all musical on the stoner 90mph rock thread a minute ago.

NAZ.
 
2013-04-09 03:53:29 PM
It's a typo, you can see in the picture that its KPH not MPH
 
2013-04-09 03:57:27 PM

Old_Chief_Scott: Recoil Therapy: I do like how everyone here (myself included) isn't visibly offended by the act itself but rather is trying to figure out the mechanics/logistics of the wanking (& probably trying to imagine how <i>they</i> would do it in their own car).

/personally I could see trying it out on the Canadian prairie or eastern Montana (yes, yes, they're pretty much the same thing), nice straight roads that go for miles & miles & miles, no traffic & nothing to hit if you go off the road.  TN on the other hand is filled with twisty mountain(ish) roads & lots of traffic.  I'm impressed at his creative way of attempting suicide

My uncle told me a story about a bowling ball once. He was in the Army stationed somewhere down in Texas and was going to a buddy's house for the weekend down in Houston. Well, Pasadena actually.
Anyway they are driving on one of those straight ass two lane roads down there and his buddy has this old bowling ball in the back of the car and since he's planning on getting a new one soon they decide it would be a good idea to toss the bowling ball out the window of the car.

Now just to make it all the better they decide to speed up so they are doing around 90-95 and my uncle dumps the bowling ball out the window. Much to his surprise it bounces back up even with the window just a spinning like a motherf*cker. Those were my uncle's exact words when he told me the story, by the way, "just a spinning like a motherf*cker".

Well, the drive on down the road about a mile with this bowling ball bouncing alongside the car showing no signs of the forced of nature taking hold and slowing things down. Lucky for them, the road began a gentle turn to the left and the last they saw of it, the bowling ball was bouncing across the desert.


How anti-climactic.
 
2013-04-09 04:00:33 PM

ransack.: It's a typo, you can see in the picture that its KPH not MPH

LULZ!!!!
Them KPHs are for commies!
You get nearly twice as good of mileage on mph....yeah, dat'll woik!

Guy had to be driving an MGA or a Morgan +4.....
No wait....it was MOIKY!
Very low window enthusiast.
 
2013-04-09 04:02:04 PM
 
2013-04-09 04:02:38 PM
 
2013-04-09 04:03:45 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ♫  Well, now they call me The Breeze... I keep trollin' down the road... ♫


♫ Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel ♫
 
2013-04-09 04:05:14 PM
I see that TPM has been bought by The Onion.
 
2013-04-09 04:08:27 PM
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler.
 
2013-04-09 04:12:42 PM
"He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and masturbating," witness Deborah Sturgill said.


upload.wikimedia.org


Yeah, we're fappin' pretty hot tonight....
I can barely see the road, from the jackin' going on....
Reach down.....'tween my legs....'n' just eaaaaaaaaaase the seat back.

I'm lickin', she's watchin'
Doin' 90 and I gotta flog the dolphin
She's peepin', god bless power steerin'
My donk is poppin and there aint' no stoppin' NOWWWWWWWW

Jack my hog!
Jack my hog! (oh oh OH oh)
Jack my hog!
Jack my hog! (oh oh OH OH oh)
Jack my hog!
 
2013-04-09 04:21:41 PM

rickythepenguin: "He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and masturbating," witness Deborah Sturgill said.


[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]


Yeah, we're fappin' pretty hot tonight....
I can barely see the road, from the jackin' going on....
Reach down.....'tween my legs....'n' just eaaaaaaaaaase the seat back.

I'm lickin', she's watchin'
Doin' 90 and I gotta flog the dolphin
She's peepin', god bless power steerin'
My donk is poppin and there aint' no stoppin' NOWWWWWWWW

Jack my hog!
Jack my hog! (oh oh OH oh)
Jack my hog!
Jack my hog! (oh oh OH OH oh)
Jack my hog!


OKAY, next time we play the VA and somebody asks for Panama those nifty new lyrics are in!
Sadly, all they request is "Pop a Top Again" and "Johnny B. Goode"...then biatch about the way we do Johnny is Disturbed.


Play it Matt:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmTBCAUfYkY
 
2013-04-09 04:25:30 PM
spectrumculture.com

Stay classy Tennessee.
 
2013-04-09 04:29:14 PM

Satanic_Hamster: vernonFL: "At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]... he was masturbating

How is that possible?I guess he had the cruise control on? He wasn't wearing a seatbelt? Try it. Driving 90 MPH with your penis out the window masturbating is like auto-fellatio, every guy tries it and finds out its just not possible.

For you maybe.

I think you're failing to consider just how big his penis is.



Exactly. I usually just roll it up in the window so that the wind can beat it around real good.
 
2013-04-09 04:36:33 PM

flucto: boggling at the logistics...


I say, until Mr. Blakely demonstrates this amazing feat of contortive autoeroticism for the jury, it is wrong for them to find him guilty.
 
2013-04-09 04:39:13 PM

ransack.: Old_Chief_Scott: Recoil Therapy: I do like how everyone here (myself included) isn't visibly offended by the act itself but rather is trying to figure out the mechanics/logistics of the wanking (& probably trying to imagine how <i>they</i> would do it in their own car).

/personally I could see trying it out on the Canadian prairie or eastern Montana (yes, yes, they're pretty much the same thing), nice straight roads that go for miles & miles & miles, no traffic & nothing to hit if you go off the road.  TN on the other hand is filled with twisty mountain(ish) roads & lots of traffic.  I'm impressed at his creative way of attempting suicide

My uncle told me a story about a bowling ball once. He was in the Army stationed somewhere down in Texas and was going to a buddy's house for the weekend down in Houston. Well, Pasadena actually.
Anyway they are driving on one of those straight ass two lane roads down there and his buddy has this old bowling ball in the back of the car and since he's planning on getting a new one soon they decide it would be a good idea to toss the bowling ball out the window of the car.

Now just to make it all the better they decide to speed up so they are doing around 90-95 and my uncle dumps the bowling ball out the window. Much to his surprise it bounces back up even with the window just a spinning like a motherf*cker. Those were my uncle's exact words when he told me the story, by the way, "just a spinning like a motherf*cker".

Well, the drive on down the road about a mile with this bowling ball bouncing alongside the car showing no signs of the forced of nature taking hold and slowing things down. Lucky for them, the road began a gentle turn to the left and the last they saw of it, the bowling ball was bouncing across the desert.

How anti-climactic.


I see what you did there.
 
2013-04-09 04:52:59 PM
 
2013-04-09 04:54:31 PM
How is that possible?  Well, if you're hung like me, you'd know!
 
2013-04-09 05:06:19 PM

Arkanaut: flucto: boggling at the logistics...

I say, until Mr. Blakely demonstrates this amazing feat of contortive autoeroticism for the jury, it is wrong for them to find him guilty.


if, in the breeze, it does not flit then my friends of the jury... you must aquit.
 
2013-04-09 05:08:03 PM

rickythepenguin: "He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and masturbating," witness Deborah Sturgill said.


[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]


Yeah, we're fappin' pretty hot tonight....
I can barely see the road, from the jackin' going on....
Reach down.....'tween my legs....'n' just eaaaaaaaaaase the seat back.

I'm lickin', she's watchin'
Doin' 90 and I gotta flog the dolphin
She's peepin', god bless power steerin'
My donk is poppin and there aint' no stoppin' NOWWWWWWWW

Jack my hog!
Jack my hog! (oh oh OH oh)
Jack my hog!
Jack my hog! (oh oh OH OH oh)
Jack my hog!


Sammy does it better...

I can't drive fisting five.
 
2013-04-09 05:16:03 PM
I do the same thing...jerk it at 90, blow a load out the window at 110.
 
2013-04-09 05:16:42 PM
 
2013-04-09 05:18:48 PM

Pangea: Exactly. I usually just roll it up in the window so that the wind can beat it around real good.


Me?  I like to knock over bike riders with it.  Really catches them by surprise.
 
2013-04-09 05:21:40 PM
Why do people become offended at items of this nature? If some man displayed his penis to me I wouldn't be offended, because I wouldn't care enough to become offended. In this case though I would report him for driving recklessly and I wouldn't report the masturbation.
 
2013-04-09 05:33:52 PM
Bah.  Google Fu is off today. Can't find the Super Troopers scene where Mac is radar gunning himself punching the clown.  I believe he got the gun up to 90mph.

/seemed relative
 
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