Obligatory

whistleridge: ThatGuyGreg: whistleridge: 3. Their missiles can only just barely reach the US, if at all

Everybody posts that map, with no legend as to what the dark red vs. the light red means.

Fine.

Here:

[media.ft.com image 418x452]

And here:

[news.bbcimg.co.uk image 624x521]

And here:

[www.forte.jor.br image 543x471]



I can see North Korea from my house

EatHam: whistleridge: 3. Their missiles can only just barely reach the US, if at all

They'd have better luck throwing them.

Probably on schedule right at 5 0'clock.

"This business,,,is the biggest joke I ever heard.
They got nothing.  We know their every move.
Even their friends think they're dicks.
I'll be in my room taking a nap.  If anything flies over, shoot it down!"

Japan will never see them coming.

Shazam999: [fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net image 600x720]

Mongler?

I_C_Weener: Snotnose: I for one think it would be most appropriate if the missile goes off course and ends up in a Chinese city.

/ may you live in interesting times
// would stock up on popcorn
/// speaking of chinese takeout....

Or if it went over Russian territory.  I'm not sure how Putin would respond....oh, yes, I am.

Take off his shirt and start strangling biatches?

I am more excited to talk to verified ladies.

Richard C Stanford: I think Putin would run shirtless, drunk, and screaming through Best Korea, punching everything in his way.

I would pay to see that movie.

I_C_Weener: Snotnose: I for one think it would be most appropriate if the missile goes off course and ends up in a Chinese city.

/ may you live in interesting times
// would stock up on popcorn
/// speaking of chinese takeout....

Or if it went over Russian territory.  I'm not sure how Putin would respond....oh, yes, I am.

I think Putin would run shirtless, drunk, and screaming through Best Korea, punching everything in his way.

Germany's reportedly allied itself with Japan, backing them up if BK so much as skeets in their direction.

It's just like old times.

The poor Pacific ocean.  NK has a great record of beating up the Ocean with failed launches.  Why are there no environmental protests against NK for their attacks on the Pacific?

Kim is like someone who plays the single player version of an FPS on easy level, then thinks he is going to dominate in actual on-line multiplayer situations.

Quick!  Get in the bunker!!!

/Godzilla always delivers

pedobearapproved: Obama scraps Bush-era missile defense for new plan

missmeyet.jpg

You mean this one?


Yeah - If he were in office, he'd already be wearing a flight suit, with a banner saying "Mission Accomplished."

We need a keen tactical mind like that one...

Japan will deploy Godzilla, Ultraman, Gamera and the Power Rangers if Best Korea follows thru with their threats.

dear china. please nuke NK. add it to our tab.

parasol: I've been following the best korea threads (and ty, as always to you witty farkers) and it's like a soap opera with the speculation and drama escalation

Out of concern for the people of best korea who apparently hate the US due to endless propaganda, who don't have enough to eat, who are guilty of nothing more than geographic accident of birth, I have begun to pray they don't have to go through some of the scenarios posted here (and in earlier threads)

Being a godless american, I doubt prayer helps but I really, really don't want the "best case NK will last mere hours due to military overpowerment" for people doing nothing but walking around in their homeland.

They're better off than us. I'm just hoping to get my yummy bird and heroin ration today. Glorious Leader should liberate us from the capitalist pigs or at least send more tents to the Red Cross, as mine blew away. Plus the snow is gone, so I can't get anymore snow coffee. Times will be tough again 'round these parts.

texdent: kumanoki: "It's an entirely different type of dong altogether."

It's an entirely different type of dong.

I_C_Weener: Snotnose: I for one think it would be most appropriate if the missile goes off course and ends up in a Chinese city.

/ may you live in interesting times
// would stock up on popcorn
/// speaking of chinese takeout....

Or if it went over Russian territory.  I'm not sure how Putin would respond....oh, yes, I am.

I think NK launching a missile backward is as amusing as the next guy, but I can't seriously believe that their tech is so bad that they could fail to launch their missiles at least in a generally Easterly direction.

WHAT IS DENNIS RODMAN DOING ABOUT THIS?   HE SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING TO STOP THIS!  I BLAME DENNIS RODMAN FOR THIS ENTIRE SITUATION.

fireclown: Richard C Stanford: I think Putin would run shirtless, drunk, and screaming through Best Korea, punching everything in his way.

I would pay to see that movie.

Presented by Samuel L. Bronkowitz

MrBigglesworth: The poor Pacific ocean.  NK has a great record of beating up the Ocean with failed launches.  Why are there no environmental protests against NK for their attacks on the Pacific?

That's a bit like finding out your kid beat the crap out of an old lady while cutting school and robbing the corner store and then yelling at him for not making his bed that morning.

In other news today, the US Navy 7th Fleet held a press conference to announce their plan to test their AEGIS anti missile system in the vicinity of Japan around Wednesday.

When questioned, the spokesman denied that the Navy's announcement was anything other than purely coincidental vis-a-vis a recently announced possible North Korean missile launch.  He was quoted as saying, "No shiat?  They are?  Huh.  How about that?"

stonicus: Kim is like someone who plays the single player version of an FPS on easy level, then thinks he is going to dominate in actual on-line multiplayer situations.

And he's doing your mom of course.

KarmicDisaster: If they do shoot a missile over Japan, the trajectory probably won't allow current systems to shoot it down, it will be near apogee when it passes over won't it? Unless it malfunctions and part of hit hits Japan, oops, then all hell will break loose.

Japan ain't going to give a good goddamn about apogee. If it enters Japanese airspace, they're going to flip their shiat.

Radioactive Ass
Yeah... No. He didn't have to take those reigns of power. He could have walked into the nearest US embassy in Bern or wherever he was and quietly asked for asylum. He didn't. He's power addled and seems to think that he can get away with a lot of crap that he can't.

Really? The only explanation you can think of for why he didn't defect and run away to for the non-guaranteed chance of a life of ignominy in the States is because he's "power addled"? Come on. Put yourself in his shoes. If he didn't take the job, who was going to? What would that have meant for his countrymen? Bear in mind that not everyone has the individualistic, "fark all y'all I got mine" mindset of your typical American that might make such an option more appealing... even if in his heart of hearts he views his father as something of the monster that we do, the family name and legacy would not be such an easy thing to surrender. And bear in mind that he's lived his entire life under the dominating thumb of his fathers' regime, and probably had/has a different conception of its reach and power than we do.

I may be wrong on some of that but he did have the chance to chuck it all and get out of the family business but he didn't take it. He chose power and (relative) riches over safety and not ruling one of the most despotic nations on earth. He made his own bed and now he lies in it.

I think you're wrong. To the extent that he has any choice in matters at all, which is far less than I think we in the West tend to perceive it to be, he's been doing what he perceives as best for his people, his family name, and the safety of himself and his own wife and offspring. I hope, sooner rather than later, he gets a handle on how his figurehead status comes with some actual political power, so he can harness that power to purge the self-interested and manipulative warmongers who are trying to steer him towards their designs and instead finally set a rational course towards some actual prosperity for himself and his people.

Infernalist: Just Another OC Homeless Guy: scubamage: I can't help but wonder if this is a feint to try and restructure their country by providing a media-friendly "blaze of glory" moment. Their officials know that with their current economy and standard of living, they aren't going to go anywhere but more downhill. Their isolationism has strangled them. Un is smart enough to know that he can't win and that their current system of government is unsustainable, but can't speak out because of the old guard in the military and older party members. So, he is driving their country into a battle they can't possibly win so their country is forcefully rebuilt and their people can thrive - the ones that live through it anyway.

Or, they have a dagger hidden at our back somewhere and we haven't figured out where. Those are the two scenarios I can think of.

Cyber attack and a high altitude EMP nuke? Maybe a couple of hundred English-speaking business-suited armed commandos landing in Seattle and disbursing throughout the country via bus and rail?


The whole thing is ludicrous, but this is the part that really has me rolling.

It's fairly easy for SK to pick up infiltrators and spies, due to how badly out of date they're dressed and how they gawk and stare at the most mundane of things.  Like a grocery store.

So, the concept of English speaking NKorean commandos sneaking into America is enough to have me giggling like I'm high.

HA! You won't be laughing when the entire country is under marital law due to 300 NK snipers taking out random people and the police can't catch them 'cause none of the cars and computers are working.

Hey, it's a better plot than the 2nd Red Dawn!

OK, here's my read on the dealio:

Un is a reformer. The regime's usual pattern of oscillation between hand-extending and "bellicose rhetoric" is now occurring for somewhat unusual reasons: the "powers behind the throne" within the DPRK are trying to make Un as unpopular a figure internationally as his father was, and thereby set the tone of the relationship between North Korea and the world, assuring the regime's survival (so their reasoning goes). Un himself is a more-or-less reluctant figurehead, although he dare not let on to that.

I actually wish that Un could build a strong and independent power base of his own, so that he could purge the regime of disloyal factions trying to play him and his people as pawns in their own power games. He actually has the best interests of his people in mind, but right now he's more of a necessary evil for the real powers that be in North Korea than he is their leader. If he fails to do this, and fails to gain the trust of those disloyal, self-interested factions, he may well end up dead (blamed, of course, on Western assassins or some such).

fireclown: Also, if there are any Korean speakers out there, what does "dong" mean in Korean? Can we get word to the NK missile program that the US just can't take missiles named "somethingsomethingDONG" seriously?

I don't know but I get very inappropriate giggles when I see the names of dong class missiles. And I wish the general media would use the nomenclature more often.

"Today North Korea erected two Dongs on the eastern coast..."

"The Dong Missiles are fueled and ready to go. But where?"

"North Korea attempted to launch one of it's Dongs today over the Sea of Japan but it was quickly shot down and turned into a hentai special."

crypticsatellite: Here's something fun to ponder:

http://intellihub.com/2013/04/08/secret-transmission-detected-from-n or th-korea/

Not good.

What the North Korean space program looks like.
Children's Palace Pyongyang

       

whistleridge:

Farking filter. I meant the Boobies that I made.

Pics or it never happened.

scottydoesntknow: Iplaybass: Simple.

Wait until it's dark. Then bomb the living shiat out of anything in North Korea that has lights on. Problem solved. I don't think anyone would object.

[www.partners-in-prayer.org image 850x637]

Soooo basically bomb Pyongyang and only Pyongyang

/imokwiththis.jpg

Oh come on. That picture is ten years old. I'm sure they've bought at least one more streetlight since then.

comslave: I'd say we should bomb them back to the stone age, but they're already there.

We could take them with 12 totally tricked-out party buses and 13 of the baddest cars from classic movies.

whistleridge: akula: whistleridge:

See my Boobies.

Um...no.

pedobearapproved: Obama scraps Bush-era missile defense for new plan

missmeyet.jpg

I think there's an ICBM under your bed. Better check to be sure.

GleeUnit: hubiestubert: I am more and more convinced that North Korea is really hoping for war, so that they can get rebuilt by the West. It takes them out of the Chinese pocket, it keeps the Russians out of their hair, and afterwards, Little Kim can be one of the cool kids at the UN table. At least one of the ones who got out of the dictator for life game, and retires someplace warm, with a lot of security paid for on someone else's dime...

I don't believe that Kim would make it through such an affair with both his head and his freedom intact.  The world hasn't been kind to disposed dictators of late.

Also, he's going to have a much harder time trying to hide out among the general population than Saddam or Muammar did.

texdent: Dinobot: Japan will deploy Godzilla, Ultraman, Gamera and the Power Rangers if Best Korea follows thru with their threats.

Don't forget Sailor Moon, Sunfire, Big Hero 6, and a few others.

Needs more Space Battleship Yamato.

farkingismybusiness: [i.imgur.com image 850x479]
Japan will never see them coming.

The rest of the leaves were used as a life-sustaining salad.

whistleridge: akula: whistleridge: Not in terms of economic production they don't. Yeah, hitting the Alaskan oil fields or ports would put quite a dent in our oil for awhile, but it only kill a few thousand to tens of thousands, and wouldn't really do much besides that. Ditto for hitting Pearl Harbor. 

If you want to risk having your country wiped out, you want to guarandamntee you can take out a major population center like LA or Chicago, not piddle around with a secondary target. That's the whole point of MAD. They don't have it.

Although frankly, if they REALLY want to hurt the US...aim at Silicon Valley. You take out Apple, Google, Yahoo, Cisco, Oracle, and all the other brains living and working there, and you've set us back 25 - 30 years. That actually scares me more than them hitting LA.

You're assuming they can actually tip that super long range three stage TD2 missile with a functional nuclear weapon. And that everything works.

I doubt the missile actually has that range, could hit anything accurately (even within a CEP of a few miles) at that range), would actually work as expected, and I REALLY doubt they have a nuclear weapon they can put on the top of the thing. It's one thing to build an atomic bomb. It's another to get the packaging down to a size where it fits on a rocket and is actually deliverable by ICBM.

The only evidence I've seen or heard of (not that I've seen a ton) that they actually have such a warhead is NK's own hyperbolic statements. At this point I'd trust a used car dealer to give me a reliable vehicle at a great price more than I would Kim Jong Un to accurately portray the current state of their forces.

How I can tell you didn't read the whole thread :p 

See my Boobies.

Sure, EIP

triptheory: Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: I wish he and the rest of the Red Lectroids would just go back to Planet Ten already.

Laugh while you can monkey-boy!

Why is there a watermelon there?

DjangoStonereaver: OK, hands up who got this picture in their minds when they first heard that the Japanese were deploying a missile
defense system?

[www.igorstshirts.com image 810x608]

The Bestest: torusXL: Good plan, tell every journalist about the planned military movements. North Korea would never attack before these scheduled movements.

The point of broadcasting our movements is very much counter to DPRK's rhetoric. It's our way of tangibly countering every blustery threat they make.

There's also a bunch of moves we -aren't- broadcasting, too (like B-1 and B-2 rebasings)

Yeah but we want them to think that we think that they think that we think that they think that we think that they think that we're moving our ships to Easter Island to use the Easter Island heads as target practice for the giant ship cannons. That way, North Korea will think they're safe and archaeologists will scream in outrage and everyone will be confused.

Don't ruin the grand plan, man.

jaybeezey: Kim Jong Bootey?


Boo-TAY!  TAY!

Bendimus_Prime: Agreed. But, I think what Snotnose should have said was:

Phase 1. NK launches fully armed nuke.
Phase 2. Navigation goes crazy.
Phase 3. Detonates in an uninhabited area of Siberia.
Phase 4. Sit back with popcorn
Phase 5. ?
Phase 6. Profit.

WHAT?  Have the people of Tunguska not suffered enough!?!?!

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: I wish he and the rest of the Red Lectroids would just go back to Planet Ten already.

Kim Jong Bootey?

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: I wish he and the rest of the Red Lectroids would just go back to Planet Ten already.

Laugh while you can monkey-boy!

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: I wish he and the rest of the Red Lectroids would just go back to Planet Ten already.

I love you, John Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion.

fireclown: Richard C Stanford: I think Putin would run shirtless, drunk, and screaming through Best Korea, punching everything in his way.

I would pay to see that movie.

+1

I laughed AND clapped for this idea at my desk. In a cube farm. Surely, if they were confused by my insanity before, my coworkers are certain I'm nuts now.

I wish he and the rest of the Red Lectroids would just go back to Planet Ten already.

probesport: Shazam999: [fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net image 600x720]

Mongler?

It's from 4chan.  Best not to ask questions.

All this thread has done is make me want to watch M*A*S*H again...

whistleridge: Farking filter. I meant the Boobies that I made.

Okay, now I'm very intrigued.

NK is the 5yr old child that is threatening to run away to crazyville. They keep looking back with each step down the driveway hoping someone will run out and offer them anything if they just come inside.

Funny how our American Troops were treated in Chosun, and yet we can all get together now as allies and do the Ganham style dance, while over in the middle east, those primitive humanoids cannot reconcile differences over a thousand years old.
/just sayin'

The_EliteOne: namegoeshere: fireclown: netweavr: Japan is forbidden from doing shiat without getting permission from the US. Guess what the US gave them today...

I was of the belief that anti-missile stuff was within the purview of the Japanese Defense Force.   If not, the damned well should be.  At any rate, I hope they keep their shiat together and don't do anything hasty.  Just shoot the damned thing down and show Kim what's what.

Japan shoots it down and NK calls that the agression and First Strike. Then it's on. It fits in with the theory that Lil-Un is starting shiat on purpose to lose and eventually be fed and rebuilt. Or he's just bat shiat insane.

I'd guess he's insane. Lived a life of privilege? Check. Never exposed to reality? Check. Got everything/got away with anything he ever wanted? Probably. Spoiled? Oh most certainly.

Somebody probably gave him a hacked version of Civ2. He's already conquered the world 5000x. Why not bring it into the real world.

//My Phalanx pwned yer tank, lol

Unoriginal_Username: Infernalist: EatHam: AdolfOliverPanties: They have shiat for natural resources.

Really?

To be fair, those RREs are way way way out of reach right now.  NK mines only operate at about 30% capacity out of safety concerns.  They're obscenely outdated and in need of serious repair.  To get at those RREs in any real capacity would take a massive overhaul of existing infrastructure and modernization of their mining equipment.

A serious serious investment that would only pay off in a decade or so, if that.

So the next war will be over rocks instead of oil.

/I guess this is the logical option. First it was religion, now it's resources.

It was really always about resources. The people at the top always knew it. Religion is to get the drooling, common clay to help.

stonicus: Kim is like someone who plays the single player version of an FPS on easy level, then thinks he is going to dominate in actual on-line multiplayer situations.

You mean RTS.. I mean, they are Korean after all.

Kim is just a big Watchmen fan and is doing his part to unify the globe.

I_C_Weener: The No Dong sounds homophobic to me.

At BEST.  Less than manly at worst.

Walker: Japan ain't gonna do sh*t. North Korea has launched missiles over them before and they didn't do sh*t.

Yes, but this time they've gone Full Retard before doing so.