Mr. Cat Poop: big pig peaches: Too Pretty For Prison: snake_beater: First thing I thought of.

That's the first thing you thought of?  I immediately thought of a passed out naked girl named Ashley who was NAKED and PASSED OUT.

You sound like a rapist.

It's not a legitimate rape if she can't remember it.

Take a condom out of the wrapper, unroll it and leave it next to her. She'll be happy to see that in the morning.

ZeroCorpse: karmaceutical: Ah yes, annoying roomates... it is like the minor leagues till you get called up to the big marriage show.

My roommates-- what few I had-- were far better than my first wife in terms of living conditions.

Well, except for the roommate who skipped town with two months' worth of everyone's rent without telling us he didn't use it to pay rent, causing us to be evicted, and the roommate who was a very strong (female) machine smith who had her way with me against my will and then proceeded to stalk me, go through all my boxes and drawers, and leave me creepy "I'm watching you" notes before finally telling me she was pregnant in a last-ditch effort to get me to change my mind about avoiding her.

. Oh, yeah, and the roommate who was my ex-girlfriend, maid of honor at my first marriage, and frequent tormentor when my wife wasn't looking... It wasn't the come-ons or everyday teasing that bothered me, as much as the whole "having sex with a girl in front of you to turn you on, knowing you can't do anything about it" thing, and the "playing "Linger" by the Cranberries on a loop all day for several days in a row" thing, and the "pretend to be drunk and flash my giant tits at you when we're alone because I know you won't take advantage of a drunk girl" thing, and the "having loud sex with your brother-in-law when I know you're sleeping in the room next door" thing, and the "leaving naked photos in your room by 'accident'" thing, too.

Yeah, I guess I'm saying all my worst roommate problems were from women who sexually harassed the hell out of me. Poor me, right?

Yea poor you, mine came in to my room while I was asleep and started rubbing this lotion on my leg, I woke up and decided to play possum and see how far she would go. She finished with the lotion and started gently blowing on my leg, I had just decided to " wake up" when it felt like she applied a blowtorch to my leg. After I extricated myself from the hole I made in the ceiling I found it was hair removal wax not lotion she had put on me. She wanted to give herself a bikini wax but decided to test it on me first. She had planned on getting me drunk but decided that asleep would work too

/her excuse was you have two legs I only have one puss

What I woke up to yesterday morning written by my
roommate and on the gas bill:

"This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write;

I'm sorry about the potential vegetable garden. And about the medicine cabinet (I'll throw you monies). Thanks for letting me sleep. I hit my head on the faucet. Not your fault. I'll replace the pink Starbursts too. I sound like an asshole.

I fed the cat."

"Dead Dove: Do not eat."

Just roll Ashley on her side. She'll be alright.

jaylectricity: Russ1642: When someone is unconscious and won't come around then it's ambulance time not 'check on them every now and then' time.

I would be pissed if I ended up with a $1000 ambulance bill just because I needed a few extra hours of sleep.

Well when you find Ashley dead in the bathroom in the morning you'll understand that the $1000 would have been worth it.