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(Daily Mail)   "Ashley is passed out naked on the bathroom floor" is a A) Lyric from a new ZZ Top song. C) An example of a hilarious note left for roommates   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 84
    More: Amusing, housemates  
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20884 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2013 at 11:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-09 10:42:38 AM
Now this is funny!

i.dailymail.co.uk

Oh, and what happened to B?
 
2013-04-09 11:12:04 AM
 
2013-04-09 11:13:25 AM
Pics or it didn't happen.
 
2013-04-09 11:13:43 AM
Wait till they find Texts From Last Night...
 
2013-04-09 11:14:01 AM
damn it.  Now I want to know if Ashley was hot or not.
 
2013-04-09 11:14:55 AM
Soon to be followed by even funnier "Ashley choked to death on her own vomit cause we left her passed out drunk in the bathroom."

/dnrtfa
 
2013-04-09 11:15:08 AM
Sure it's bathroom floor and not the picnic table?
 
2013-04-09 11:16:59 AM
When someone is unconscious and won't come around then it's ambulance time not 'check on them every now and then' time.
 
2013-04-09 11:18:04 AM
While annoyed with the passive-aggressive nature of the original note, the follow-up filled me with indignant rage:

i.dailymail.co.uk

What, the guy who doesn't want people eating his shiat is the jerk?
 
2013-04-09 11:21:22 AM

Russ1642: When someone is unconscious and won't come around then it's ambulance time not 'check on them every now and then' time.


I would be pissed if I ended up with a $1000 ambulance bill just because I needed a few extra hours of sleep.
 
2013-04-09 11:22:40 AM
She came in through the bathroom window. Protected by a silver spoon.
 
2013-04-09 11:23:13 AM
Subby spelled "pretentious" wrong
 
2013-04-09 11:23:26 AM

snake_beater: First thing I thought of.


That's the first thing you thought of?  I immediately thought of a passed out naked girl named Ashley who was NAKED and PASSED OUT.
 
2013-04-09 11:24:30 AM

jaylectricity: Russ1642: When someone is unconscious and won't come around then it's ambulance time not 'check on them every now and then' time.

I would be pissed if I ended up with a $1000 ambulance bill just because I needed a few extra hours of sleep.


Well when you find Ashley dead in the bathroom in the morning you'll understand that the $1000 would have been worth it.
 
2013-04-09 11:27:09 AM
Just roll Ashley on her side. She'll be alright.
 
2013-04-09 11:28:14 AM

Russ1642: jaylectricity: Russ1642: When someone is unconscious and won't come around then it's ambulance time not 'check on them every now and then' time.

I would be pissed if I ended up with a $1000 ambulance bill just because I needed a few extra hours of sleep.

Well when you find Ashley dead in the bathroom in the morning you'll understand that the $1000 would have been worth it.


You never know, Ashley might be a jerk, and if she's gone, you might be able to get a bigger room.
 
2013-04-09 11:28:57 AM

Too Pretty For Prison: snake_beater: First thing I thought of.

That's the first thing you thought of?  I immediately thought of a passed out naked girl named Ashley who was NAKED and PASSED OUT.


What a drunk Ashley may look like:

data.whicdn.com

/obviously not in the bathroom
 
2013-04-09 11:29:01 AM
"Dead Dove: Do not eat."
 
2013-04-09 11:29:54 AM

jaylectricity: Russ1642: When someone is unconscious and won't come around then it's ambulance time not 'check on them every now and then' time.

I would be pissed if I ended up with a $1000 ambulance bill just because I needed a few extra hours of sleep.


First off, if you're a young adult, there's zero reason not to have medical insurance.  It's super cheap and you can mooch off your parents until you're way into adulthood.  Secondly, there's no reason to call an ambulance when you can just drive them in.
 
2013-04-09 11:33:30 AM

kvinesknows: Now I want to know if Ashley was hot or not.


With a stripper name like "Ashley"? Most unlikely. Passing out drunk in the toilet sounds well in character, though.
 
2013-04-09 11:33:39 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk

That reminds me of the time I met one of my new roommates (and her mom).  Our house had been all-male for about a year so it was accepted practice to shuffle around in boxers early in the morning.  It's the sort of thing you just let slide after a while.  I'd rolled out of bed, grabbed some garments off the floor, and headed out to the kitchen.  As I was guzzling OJ from the carton, I realized I wasn't alone.  The new roommate and her mom were in the corner.  I wasn't sure if I'd grabbed boxers or shorts but it was a little late to check.  If they don't say anything, I won't say anything.  Introduced myself, we chatted for a bit, then I went back to my room while they were planning where to put her stuff.  Turns out I'd grabbed shorts.

i.dailymail.co.uk

This one reminds me of the time at an earlier place when few friends came over and we got hammered beyond hammered.  One guy puked nearly pure grenadine in the doorway.  We drug him out of the puddle and debated carrying him upstairs to one of the bedrooms.  We decided against that for a couple reasons.  Partly, we were pretty sure someone would get hurt if we tried that.  Hurt bad.  Mostly we didn't want him to puke on a bed.  We left him on the floor on his stomach and went to bed.  The next morning, he was gone.  We rented a carpet cleaner and took care of the mess.  (That was actually the cleanest part of the carpet when we were done.)  Later in the day, the missing friend called.  "Did I throw up in your apartment?"  What we pieced together was that he'd woken up, went for his daily run on auto-pilot which ended at his apartment, then he passed out again.  When he woke up the second time, he realized he was covered in vomit and called to apologize for whatever he'd done the night before.

i.dailymail.co.uk

And someone kept using my butter at my last job so Friday bagels would show up and there'd be a tiny sliver of butter left.  Like I wouldn't notice the other 7.5 tablespoons had evaporated.  I left a note on the butter tray door that said, "I licked the butter."  I don't know if they believed or cared about the germs but they stopped stealing my butter.
 
2013-04-09 11:33:54 AM

Too Pretty For Prison: snake_beater: First thing I thought of.

That's the first thing you thought of?  I immediately thought of a passed out naked girl named Ashley who was NAKED and PASSED OUT.


You sound like a rapist.
 
2013-04-09 11:34:34 AM
Ashley better hope she's not passed out in a frat house otherwise her but may be a little sore when she wakes up. And she'll wake up puzzled thinking to herself "I don't remember putting gel in my hair before going out"
 
2013-04-09 11:35:26 AM
Dear diary. JACKPOT!!!
 
2013-04-09 11:36:11 AM

blatz514: Too Pretty For Prison: snake_beater: First thing I thought of.

That's the first thing you thought of?  I immediately thought of a passed out naked girl named Ashley who was NAKED and PASSED OUT.

What a drunk Ashley may look like:

/obviously not in the bathroom


I think Spitzer paid about $70k to bang that or at least that is the amount he admitted to.
 
2013-04-09 11:36:57 AM

WhippingBoy: Dear diary. JACKPOT!!!


Giggity.
 
2013-04-09 11:37:05 AM
Don't use Ashley.  I spit on her since someone keeps using her.
   -- Your roomate
 
2013-04-09 11:39:38 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: "Dead Dove: Do not eat."


-Looks inside bag.-

I don't know what I was expecting.
 
2013-04-09 11:41:18 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk

Chris is Michelle's son.
 
2013-04-09 11:41:26 AM

zekeburger: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: "Dead Dove: Do not eat."

-Looks inside bag.-

I don't know what I was expecting.


Ha, I totally forgot about that.

Awesome!
 
2013-04-09 11:42:24 AM

kvinesknows: damn it.  Now I want to know if Ashley was hot or not.


Haven't met any ugly ones yet.
 
2013-04-09 11:44:23 AM
"Ashley is passed out naked on the bathroom floor" Cool, unzips fly...
 
2013-04-09 11:47:19 AM

jaylectricity: Russ1642: When someone is unconscious and won't come around then it's ambulance time not 'check on them every now and then' time.

I would be pissed if I ended up with a $1000 ambulance bill just because I needed a few extra hours of sleep.


Well, I just had a good friend die about 6 months ago who was "asleep" and couldn't be woken up by his best friend. Dude left him there snoring, came home the next day to his corpse in the same position.

I'd give several years of my life to have him pissed at me because I got him a $1000 ambulance bill but still alive.

/Pills
//Mike has to live with the knowledge he let his best friend die and could have prevented it.
 
2013-04-09 11:52:40 AM

FarkinHostile: //Mike has to live with the knowledge he let his best friend die and could have prevented it set up a webcam and streamed it as pay-per-view.


Monetised that for you.
 
2013-04-09 11:57:39 AM

orbister: FarkinHostile: //Mike has to live with the knowledge he let his best friend die and could have prevented it set up a webcam and streamed it as pay-per-view.

Monetised that for you.



Eh, respiratory arrest is not that exciting to watch. Perhaps a time lapse of the  lividity spreading could get a few morbid viewers.
 
2013-04-09 12:05:04 PM
We had a roommate who left notes all the time instead of speaking to us about issues. He would leave them in the middle of the night or while we were all gone during the day and he wouldn't be home that evening. Never once did he have the courage to speak to us.

I took great pleasure in watching another roommate snap on him for a pretentious note and smash through his bedroom door at 2am to call him on it. There were no more notes after that.

Twat.
 
2013-04-09 12:12:17 PM

FarkinHostile: orbister: FarkinHostile: //Mike has to live with the knowledge he let his best friend die and could have prevented it set up a webcam and streamed it as pay-per-view.

Monetised that for you.


Eh, respiratory arrest is not that exciting to watch. Perhaps a time lapse of the  lividity spreading could get a few morbid viewers.


Ahh Fark...
A solution to every problem .
 
2013-04-09 12:14:26 PM

big pig peaches: Too Pretty For Prison: snake_beater: First thing I thought of.

That's the first thing you thought of?  I immediately thought of a passed out naked girl named Ashley who was NAKED and PASSED OUT.

You sound like a rapist.


It's not a legitimate rape if she can't remember it.
 
2013-04-09 12:16:38 PM
On FARK the answer is  always "C"
 
2013-04-09 12:16:46 PM

Loud_Mouth_Soup: We had a roommate who left notes all the time instead of speaking to us about issues. He would leave them in the middle of the night or while we were all gone during the day and he wouldn't be home that evening. Never once did he have the courage to speak to us.

I took great pleasure in watching another roommate snap on him for a pretentious note and smash through his bedroom door at 2am to call him on it. There were no more notes after that.

Twat.


I guess I was lucky with roommates but my wife's best friend lived in a house that had sticky notes on almost everything. (fridge shelves, cabinet doors, garage door, above the toilet paper holder) From what I understood of it, every single note was directed at the same girl who was the house slob and a nightmare to the rest of the residents.  I guess she did zero chores and never cleaned up after herself unless there was a note reminding her to do so.  I feel lucky.... the worst thing my roommates ever did was catch the house on fire (twice, don't ask), ruin my cookware, and smoke in the house.
 
2013-04-09 12:18:22 PM

Mr. Cat Poop: big pig peaches: Too Pretty For Prison: snake_beater: First thing I thought of.

That's the first thing you thought of?  I immediately thought of a passed out naked girl named Ashley who was NAKED and PASSED OUT.

You sound like a rapist.

It's not a legitimate rape if she can't remember it.


Take a condom out of the wrapper, unroll it and leave it next to her. She'll be happy to see that in the morning.
 
2013-04-09 12:21:17 PM

Russ1642: Mr. Cat Poop: big pig peaches: Too Pretty For Prison: snake_beater: First thing I thought of.

That's the first thing you thought of?  I immediately thought of a passed out naked girl named Ashley who was NAKED and PASSED OUT.

You sound like a rapist.

It's not a legitimate rape if she can't remember it.

Take a condom out of the wrapper, unroll it and leave it next to her. She'll be happy to see that in the morning.


That is so evil it is awesome.
 
2013-04-09 12:26:31 PM
I would wipe my assley with an Ashley.
 
2013-04-09 12:45:37 PM

Loud_Mouth_Soup: We had a roommate who left notes all the time instead of speaking to us about issues. He would leave them in the middle of the night or while we were all gone during the day and he wouldn't be home that evening. Never once did he have the courage to speak to us.

I took great pleasure in watching another roommate snap on him for a pretentious note and smash through his bedroom door at 2am to call him on it. There were no more notes after that.

Twat.


You're both very mature. Only the opposite.
 
2013-04-09 01:03:28 PM
Oh, man. Roommates who leave notes everywhere are horrible to live with.

One of mine would leave notes like "don't you think the bathroom needs cleaned?" then refuse to talk about things like cleaning schedule or division of labor. Being a fairly direct but absent minded person, I frequently had a hard time figuring out what the purpose of notes like "sh

The most memorable: "wouldn't it be better to wash the dishes during the day?" left on the dishwasher one evening. I responded with "no."

Took me a few months after that passive-aggressive !$&@ moved out to realize that she was a light sleeper and was probably bothered by the noise. Had she said that, I may have agreed that the dishwasher
 
2013-04-09 01:08:30 PM

kindms: Russ1642: Mr. Cat Poop: big pig peaches: Too Pretty For Prison: snake_beater: First thing I thought of.

That's the first thing you thought of?  I immediately thought of a passed out naked girl named Ashley who was NAKED and PASSED OUT.

You sound like a rapist.

It's not a legitimate rape if she can't remember it.

Take a condom out of the wrapper, unroll it and leave it next to her. She'll be happy to see that in the morning.

That is so evil it is awesome.


Fill the tip with something resembling hours-old sperm.
 
2013-04-09 01:10:34 PM
I lived with 3 other guys in college, one of whom had a grow op in his bathtub. If I called an ambulance everytime there was some naked woman passed out somewhere in the house, they may as well have kept the fleet parked out front and set up triage in our living room.
 
2013-04-09 01:12:27 PM
SquiI guess I was lucky with roommates but my wife's best friend lived in a house that had sticky notes on almost everything. (fridge shelves, cabinet doors, garage door, above the toilet paper holder) From what I understood of it, every single note was directed at the same girl who was the house slob and a nightmare to the rest of the residents.  I guess she did zero chores and never cleaned up after herself unless there was a note reminding her to do so.  I feel lucky.... the worst thing my roommates ever did was catch the house on fire (twice, don't ask), ruin my cookware, and smoke in the house.

Lemme guess, forgot about a pizza in the oven?
 
2013-04-09 01:15:27 PM

wingedkat: Oh, man. Roommates who leave notes everywhere are horrible to live with.

One of mine would leave notes like "don't you think the bathroom needs cleaned?" then refuse to talk about things like cleaning schedule or division of labor. Being a fairly direct but absent minded person, I frequently had a hard time figuring out what the purpose of notes like "sh

The most memorable: "wouldn't it be better to wash the dishes during the day?" left on the dishwasher one evening. I responded with "no."

Took me a few months after that passive-aggressive !$&@ moved out to realize that she was a light sleeper and was probably bothered by the noise. Had she said that, I may have agreed that the dishwasher


Gah, should know better than try to post a csb from a phone.

Not that it matters, but I had a hard time figuring out the meaning of notes like "shouldn't cupboard doors be kept closed?" when the answer was obviously "yes" and I was not intentionally leaving them open.

Also, If she'd explained that the dishwasher at night bothered her, I would have agreed that we could run it in the day just as easily. However, _I_ didn't see a reason it would have been better to run it in the day, an she didn't give me one. She was just really biatchy to me and refused to help with the dishes.
 
2013-04-09 01:22:38 PM

kindms: Russ1642: Mr. Cat Poop: big pig peaches: Too Pretty For Prison: snake_beater: First thing I thought of.

That's the first thing you thought of?  I immediately thought of a passed out naked girl named Ashley who was NAKED and PASSED OUT.

You sound like a rapist.

It's not a legitimate rape if she can't remember it.

Take a condom out of the wrapper, unroll it and leave it next to her. She'll be happy to see that in the morning.

That is so evil it is awesome.


I once woke up after a house party to find myself naked in bed with other people's clothes strewn all over the room and a post-it note on the door reading:

"Thanks for the good time! - R"

Left me wondering about that night for a while.
 
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