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(Daily Mail)   Bill and Melinda Gates might fund the development of a slingshot powered condom applicator. What could go wrong with a company called Microsoft selling condoms   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 20
    More: Repeat, Melinda Gates, Gates Foundation, JoergSprave, grand challenge  
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2013-04-09 11:01:13 AM
Blue Sack of Death?
 
2013-04-09 11:02:02 AM
Wait, Blue Scrotum of Death! That one's better.
 
2013-04-09 11:12:20 AM

scottydoesntknow: Blue Sack of Death?


That's what happens when you keep rebooting it.

/ouch!
 
2013-04-09 11:12:34 AM
So I guess were gonna keep on associating Bill with Microsoft no matter how much he does outside of it... forever?
 
2013-04-09 11:13:53 AM
So if it breaks, would that now be referred to as an Unhandled Exception? Does Babby happen when you add a workitem to the threadpool?
 
2013-04-09 11:14:00 AM
More like MightgoSoft, am I right?
 
2013-04-09 11:14:39 AM
As long as it is a typical Microsoft product--auto updating bloat ware--I can get behind this.
 
2013-04-09 11:15:30 AM

Shadow Blasko: So I guess were gonna keep on associating Bill with Microsoft no matter how much he does outside of it... forever?


I feel bad for Bill and Melinda.  Bill gets twenty year old computer jokes and Melinda is asked in every interview what it was like to date her boss.  Was he nerdy?  Was it awkward?  Blah blah.  And both of the get the "So it must be great to be rich, eh?"

Meanwhile, she's sitting for an interview to promote the elimination of malaria.
 
2013-04-09 11:19:26 AM
Slingshot powered? Wouldn't you be better off pretending you're playing horseshoes with the condoms?
 
2013-04-09 11:20:01 AM
Could be worse. Unix could be funding it. :)
 
2013-04-09 11:20:46 AM
Gain a slingshot, lose a penis.
 
2013-04-09 11:20:55 AM
Blue Scream of Death?
 
2013-04-09 11:21:46 AM
Would you trust another Bill Gates product that is full of bugs?
 
2013-04-09 11:22:24 AM
Abort/Retry/Ignore
 
2013-04-09 11:23:07 AM
We should all get one of these so that we don't have to worry about our women putting one on us, which as we all know, is no fun at all.
 
2013-04-09 11:23:33 AM

ms_lara_croft: Could be worse. Unix could be funding it. :)


"If your erection lasts for more than 100 days, please contact your doctor."
 
2013-04-09 11:23:49 AM
They're going to have to slow that thing way down before I stick anything into it.
 
2013-04-09 11:26:12 AM
Every now and then it'll randomly stop working, and you'll have to take it off and put it back on again.

A message will pop up saying "Are you sure?" when you ejaculate.

Apple will make one that is invisible, allows 100% sensation and has a 0% failure rate, but only works on 5% of wangs.

Every time they bring out a new model, you'd have to learn how to have sex all over again because none of the old positions work any more.
 
2013-04-09 11:26:58 AM
I already have a condom applicator, it's called her mouth.
 
2013-04-09 11:35:56 AM
tech Support. How can I abuse you today? You are trying to install the Microsoft Condom? I can help you or I can redirect to a web site that can help. I'll be happy to help, you sir. Do you have the condom near you? It it removed from it's jewel case? Did you remove the security seal? How about the protective outer wrapper? Good. Is this Service Pack 1 condom? Good. We're ready to go. Now, installation requires a full erection so listen closely. I am that hot chick from work. I'm wearing a very short skirt and high heels. My breast seem to heave up and press against the flimsy fabric of thin blouse. Can you see the buttons straining to hold my huge breasts in? Great. I tell you that you are the sexiest man I have ever seen and that I want you right here and now. I unbutton the top button of my blouse. You are surprised to see a hint of bright red fabric and a cute little bow way down in the valley between my heaving breasts. A drop of sweat appears on one of them and scurries towards the cleavage but I deftly take my index finger and scoop it up and place it on my lips. It's clear that I desire you and your man essence. I stand up and look you right in the eye and in a flsh, my blouse is torn from my body and flung across the room. My breasts heave with desire and I plunge you in to them. They smell sweet and soft and warm and... Oh? you're done? Well. you can't put the condom back, sir. It's been removed from the protective seal and has begun to degrade.

Oh? Sure. I'll talk to your girlfriend.

Hi. I'm the girl you met at school. Funny bumping in to you here by the pool. Do you need help putting that sun tan lotion on? I'll be happy to help you apply it. Need to get everywhere on that soft, perfect skin that you have. How about if I slip a little under that cute string bikini you're wearing? Don't want any tan lines. Hey! Since there's no one else around, let's take off our tops. You first. Oh! They are perfect. I just want to touch them. What do you think of mine? Go ahead, run your hands across them...

Yeah boss. I'm working on that form right now. Alt Tab LiveCycle.
 
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