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(Reuters)   Your Best Korean troll of the day for April 9, 2013: Pyongyang issues warning for all foreigners to evacuate Worst Korea immediately   (reuters.com) divider line 280
    More: News, Pyongyang, North Koreans, Kaesong, household goods, South Korean government, South Koreans, world leaders, trolls  
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10411 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2013 at 2:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-09 03:37:21 AM  

farkingismybusiness: lohphat: farkingismybusiness: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 485x318]
The changing of the worrd is inevitabre.

What was that?

Inevit, inevitabre.


Um. Sorry. One more time...?
 
2013-04-09 03:38:18 AM  

The WindowLicker: They warned the folks in SOUTH Korea to leave.  They were still welcoming tourists (and their money) to Best Korea.


All 20 of them? A crappy nuke "test" on Seoul, if it doesn't melt on the launch pad or hit China instead on the way is going to be what Putin said earlier; that it'd make Chernobyl look like a fairy land....

......and that would be the last anyone heard of North Korea.

I call it more stupid posturing as they've always done, but this kid, as probably directed by his aunt and uncle, still have that military to feed, and well.....they might die without some concessions.
 
2013-04-09 03:40:49 AM  

HaywoodJablonski: Can we have global thermonuclear war already? I'm sick of all the foreplay


how about a nice game of chess, professor falken ?
 
2013-04-09 03:40:59 AM  

Alonjar: I wonder if everyone is going to keep going "lol right.. stfu stupid fatty" until they randomly start shooting.  I forsee that as being the outcome if he truly is disillusioned (although i doubt it)


When the shooting starts I doubt very seriously that it'll be random. If the North starts it--it will be very precisely aimed to not hit anything too important (besides maybe a small patrol boat or the like). If the South starts it--it will be precisely aimed to hit whatever the threat is.
 
2013-04-09 03:41:39 AM  
But I agree hostilities are VERY unlikely.
 
2013-04-09 03:42:36 AM  

lohphat: farkingismybusiness: lohphat: farkingismybusiness: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 485x318]
The changing of the worrd is inevitabre.

What was that?

Inevit, inevitabre.

Um. Sorry. One more time...?


Inevitabre! Things are inevitabrey going to change! Goddamnit, open your farking ears!

ultraconformist.com
Irr pray myseyerf out.
 
2013-04-09 03:45:08 AM  
Hmmmm....Y'know what Lil Un? Since your father was the right hand of God apparently, I'll tell you what:  bring your arse to the court. If you can beat Louisville by yourself, we'll give you 5 billion in aid. Deal?
 
2013-04-09 03:50:32 AM  
I remain unconcerned. This guy's just an overgrown child with a God complex and a vivid imagination, and little to back it up.
 
2013-04-09 03:53:20 AM  
Evacuate North Korea, or evacuate ON North Korea?
 
2013-04-09 03:53:45 AM  
Too bad Intrade shut down, this could be a good moneymaker.
 
2013-04-09 03:54:00 AM  
If this does escalate, I doubt it will, but IF it does, there's going to be a lot of innocent lives lost in the process.

/sigh
//not a good way to start the day
 
2013-04-09 03:55:03 AM  

iq_in_binary: Alonjar: I wonder if everyone is going to keep going "lol right.. stfu stupid fatty" until they randomly start shooting.  I forsee that as being the outcome if he truly is disillusioned (although i doubt it)

The first shot would be followed by the single most devastating mass ordinance barrage the world has ever seen or ever will see again. The Norks would get maybe two shots off by any of their guns before they got completely wiped off the map.

Yeah, they've got a million man army, they've got lots of Russian artillery, they even have mines. We've got the benefit of all the technological advances made in the past 50 years and the best trained and best equipped soldiers. A bunch of brainwashed hip firing norkies that have been living off of tree bark for the past 6 months zerg rushing the DMZ are naught but target practice. Their artillery pieces aren't much better off given our ability to triangulate them after their first shot.


an arty would do a lot of damage
 
2013-04-09 03:55:10 AM  

miss diminutive: INeedAName: I doubt this is significant.

But it has a newsflash tag.

Why would Fark lie to me?


look closer at the tag =D
 
2013-04-09 03:55:49 AM  
@W7VOA: Yonhap quotes "multiple gov't sources" saying #ROK believes #DPRK "ready to launch missile" moved to east sea. #Korea
 
2013-04-09 03:55:55 AM  

HaywoodJablonski: Can we have global thermonuclear war already? I'm sick of all the foreplay


Like sleeping with my mom, you'd just be disappointed and wish this never started in the first place.

Spaced Lion: 6 days until KJU hits critical retard mass.


Wasn't there some warning given to diplomats to GTFO by the 10th?  It was posted in another of the zillion NK threads last week.  NK has been beating the war drums very hard over the past few weeks.  Why is he ratcheting up the rhetoric?  Can't just be for food aid.

If I were a conspiracy nut, I'd say they are the proxy between China and the US.  China could probably gain a lot by taking over NK (mineral rights, a further destabilized US); it may not even care about the human rights disaster that is awaiting them since China doesn't seem so bleeding heart nation-building as the West is perceived to be.
 
2013-04-09 03:56:15 AM  
cdn.ientry.com

/Without the rhetoric
 
2013-04-09 03:59:01 AM  
Wednesday is kim jong uns 1 year anniversary as dicktator. The 15th is the day they founded north korea.


Duck_of_Doom: HaywoodJablonski: Can we have global thermonuclear war already? I'm sick of all the foreplay

Like sleeping with my mom, you'd just be disappointed and wish this never started in the first place.

Spaced Lion: 6 days until KJU hits critical retard mass.

Wasn't there some warning given to diplomats to GTFO by the 10th?  It was posted in another of the zillion NK threads last week.  NK has been beating the war drums very hard over the past few weeks.  Why is he ratcheting up the rhetoric?  Can't just be for food aid.

If I were a conspiracy nut, I'd say they are the proxy between China and the US.  China could probably gain a lot by taking over NK (mineral rights, a further destabilized US); it may not even care about the human rights disaster that is awaiting them since China doesn't seem so bleeding heart nation-building as the West is perceived to be.

 
2013-04-09 04:00:56 AM  

NobleHam: We ought to give them war whether they want it or not.


You're right. Initiating a massively destabilizing armed conflict in response to transparent dick-waving is the prudent call here. I'm glad the 403rd Keyboard Brigade is on the scene now.
 
2013-04-09 04:03:01 AM  
I evacuated some kimchi earlier. Does that count?
 
2013-04-09 04:03:31 AM  
I've been working in Suwon, about 30 miles south of Seoul for the last 6 weeks. People here are more worried than usual that the NORKS are going to do something farked up.

Outta here on Thursday, it can't come soon enough. 44 hours and counting....
 
2013-04-09 04:03:37 AM  

ontariolightning: @W7VOA: Yonhap quotes "multiple gov't sources" saying #ROK believes #DPRK "ready to launch missile" moved to east sea. #Korea


i was sitting here. really high. wondering how cool it would not be if china was secretly using north korea as a puppet to instigate war with the us. stupid nervous scared americans buy shiat. also it would pull us further into debt. after n.korea instigates war wit hthe south and we step in china doesnt have to fake pretense anymore and they can actually DEFEND north korea who they were already using as OFFENSE and then go on the offense themselves and take out whoever they want. maybe japan.
 
2013-04-09 04:03:41 AM  

Tenatra: neongoats: I wish I knew how to mock this properly. How do you make fun of a retard or a midget without sounding mean? Granted, comparing fatty kim to retards and midgets is an insult to midgets and retards everywhere.

[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x274]


Great comic.

Unfortunately, I don't see how the Norks wind down their war hysteria without doing SOMETHING.
 
2013-04-09 04:03:45 AM  

lohphat: farkingismybusiness: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 485x318]
The changing of the worrd is inevitabre.

What was that?


Esperanto.  Learn it, you're going to need it.
 
2013-04-09 04:05:30 AM  

Duck_of_Doom: HaywoodJablonski: Can we have global thermonuclear war already? I'm sick of all the foreplay

Like sleeping with my mom, you'd just be disappointed and wish this never started in the first place.

Spaced Lion: 6 days until KJU hits critical retard mass.

Wasn't there some warning given to diplomats to GTFO by the 10th?  It was posted in another of the zillion NK threads last week.  NK has been beating the war drums very hard over the past few weeks.  Why is he ratcheting up the rhetoric?  Can't just be for food aid.

If I were a conspiracy nut, I'd say they are the proxy between China and the US.  China could probably gain a lot by taking over NK (mineral rights, a further destabilized US); it may not even care about the human rights disaster that is awaiting them since China doesn't seem so bleeding heart nation-building as the West is perceived to be.


you beat me to it!
 
2013-04-09 04:05:32 AM  

Gawdzila: "Pyongyang has shown no sign of preparing its 1.2 million-strong army for war, indicating the threats could be partly intended for domestic purposes"
That pretty much sums it up.


Yep yep.

They cannot go across the DMZ, because there are so many land mines there, they'd lose half their army in the crossing; they cannot go over because whatever air force they have would be shot out of the skies in minutes. They can't go around, because the US carrier group in the Pacific is right there, not to mention Japan's Defense Force (aka the Japanese Army). Now, they've tried going under at several times in history, but there's a limit to how many soldiers you can send through tunnels per hour, and tunnels are insanely easy to kill people in, as al-Qaeda and the Taliban learned to their dismay.

An artillery barrage would seriously damage Seoul, and kill many thousands of people; and guarantee that soon South Korea would be an island nation. And that's the ONLY thing Kim has got as a realistic option at this point. He could conceivably throw a nuke in there--and merely guarantee that the final strike that kills his country would come from several points on the map besides America.

No matter how the scaremongers and war enthusiasts want to whip this up, and even admitting that some scenarios look somewhat worse for South Korea, Kim simply cannot win any kind of war, or even a battle of any size or duration. And the only reason, I suspect, that the US and China are even holding back at this point is to try to save the millions of North Koreans whose only real crime is existing in a country with psychos for dictators.
 
2013-04-09 04:06:19 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: lohphat: farkingismybusiness: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 485x318]
The changing of the worrd is inevitabre.

What was that?

Esperanto.  Learn it, you're going to need it.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-04-09 04:06:21 AM  

ontariolightning: Wednesday is kim jong uns 1 year anniversary as dicktator. The 15th is the day they founded north korea.


Didn't realize the first.  Would it be bad form to launch a thermonuclear potato on dicktater's day?
 
2013-04-09 04:06:38 AM  
Of course this is a likely nothing.  I mean you would have to be irrational to fight a war you can't win.  Of course, that here is the problem.  We are dealing with what could be irrational leadership that is heading off to do something that no one expects. What better way to surprise the world than to publicly announce exactly what your doing doing and have no one believe you.  It is deception in plain sight.

Here was an interesting take on the subject by a podcast I listen to on national security issues (called the Dark Secret Place)  that was discussing the possiblity of war:  http://www.kfiam640.com/cc-common/podcast/single_page.html?podcast=Da r kSecretPlace&selected_podcast=Suits040613_1365311131_20778.mp3  Again, I can't see them fighting soon given there hasn't been a general mobilization or movement we would expect.  At the same time, you have to figure they know we are watching and have had 50 years to stockpile, dig, and preposition things so that it may not take much to kick something off. It isn't as if their chances of success are getting any greater the longer they wait so if they are going to attempt to reunify under the NK banner, why not next week?
 
2013-04-09 04:08:38 AM  

universebetween: you beat me to it!


But you're high, you have an excuse.  And my envy.
 
2013-04-09 04:10:28 AM  
Amateur. Any real tyrant wouldn't be so nice as to give warnings. they would just start locking up "the spies". This guy is an attention whore looking for his 5 minutes of fame.
 
2013-04-09 04:10:53 AM  

Cagey B: NobleHam: We ought to give them war whether they want it or not.

You're right. Initiating a massively destabilizing armed conflict in response to transparent dick-waving is the prudent call here. I'm glad the 403rd Keyboard Brigade is on the scene now.


No, eliminating an oppressive and belligerent dictatorship on the verge of nuclear capability which would destroy any chance of getting rid of them is a prudent call. We're going to go to war with North Korea eventually because we'll have to, it's better to do it now than when they have functioning delivery systems for their weapons.

Not to mention that every day we waste there are already innocent lives being lost to starvation in rural towns and villages, and to far worse than starvation in an unknown number of prison camps which make Soviet gulags look like daycare centers.

So we can wait for North Korea to crumble... except that their propaganda machine and tight control of resources prevents that from happening... and millions more will die horrible deaths before it happens. Or we can hope that Jong-Un gets reasonable and starts to reform, but that looks like a dimmer prospect every day, and millions more will die horrible deaths before it happens.

Or we can right the wrong we wrought 60 years ago and eliminate the leadership of that God-forsaken country before they can wreak anymore havoc on their own people, before they can hijack any more South Korea planes or kidnap their citizens, before they can blow up any more South Korean naval vessels or shell any more South Korean territory. We can attack pre-emptively and destroy their capability of damaging Seoul, eliminate their leadership and begin distributing food.

But I guess sitting on our hands and continuing to allow this abomination of a regime to exist is more prudent than a limited military action which would bring peace and economic growth to the region while reuniting a country which, on both sides, has sought reunification and self-determination for a century.
 
2013-04-09 04:11:28 AM  

robohobo: Too bad Intrade shut down, this could be a good moneymaker.


Bitcoins will be soaring about now.
 
2013-04-09 04:14:40 AM  

NobleHam: We're going to go to war with North Korea eventually because we'll have to


exactly. Just like we had to with the Soviets and China. It's inevitable.
 
2013-04-09 04:15:53 AM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: miss diminutive: INeedAName: I doubt this is significant.

But it has a newsflash tag.

Why would Fark lie to me?

look closer at the tag =D


Dammit.
 
2013-04-09 04:16:28 AM  

NobleHam: But I guess sitting on our hands and continuing to allow this abomination of a regime to exist is more prudent than a limited military action which would bring peace and economic growth to the region while reuniting a country which, on both sides, has sought reunification and self-determination for a century.


You think millions of starving, illiterate refugees flooding China and South Korea will bring peace and economic growth. You also think it's our role to "allow" or "disallow" the existence of particular regimes. Tell Mr. Rumsfeld I said hi.
 
2013-04-09 04:17:14 AM  

log_jammin: NobleHam: We're going to go to war with North Korea eventually because we'll have to

exactly. Just like we had to with the Soviets and China. It's inevitable.


we beat USSR in a game of monopoly. they went bankrupt but instead of us getting the money and property and railroads they sold it to their friend Russia who was also playing. we should of won that game.
 
2013-04-09 04:17:56 AM  

NobleHam: So we can wait for North Korea to crumble... except that their propaganda machine and tight control of resources prevents that from happening...


Also, this is the part where you confirm that you have no f*cking clue what you're talking about. Go charge that DMZ, brave internet soldier.
 
2013-04-09 04:18:25 AM  

NobleHam: Cagey B: NobleHam: We ought to give them war whether they want it or not.

You're right. Initiating a massively destabilizing armed conflict in response to transparent dick-waving is the prudent call here. I'm glad the 403rd Keyboard Brigade is on the scene now.

No, eliminating an oppressive and belligerent dictatorship on the verge of nuclear capability which would destroy any chance of getting rid of them is a prudent call. We're going to go to war with North Korea eventually because we'll have to, it's better to do it now than when they have functioning delivery systems for their weapons.

Not to mention that every day we waste there are already innocent lives being lost to starvation in rural towns and villages, and to far worse than starvation in an unknown number of prison camps which make Soviet gulags look like daycare centers.

So we can wait for North Korea to crumble... except that their propaganda machine and tight control of resources prevents that from happening... and millions more will die horrible deaths before it happens. Or we can hope that Jong-Un gets reasonable and starts to reform, but that looks like a dimmer prospect every day, and millions more will die horrible deaths before it happens.

Or we can right the wrong we wrought 60 years ago and eliminate the leadership of that God-forsaken country before they can wreak anymore havoc on their own people, before they can hijack any more South Korea planes or kidnap their citizens, before they can blow up any more South Korean naval vessels or shell any more South Korean territory. We can attack pre-emptively and destroy their capability of damaging Seoul, eliminate their leadership and begin distributing food.

But I guess sitting on our hands and continuing to allow this abomination of a regime to exist is more prudent than a limited military action which would bring peace and economic growth to the region while reuniting a country which, on both sides, has sought reunification and self-determ ...


I have to disagree.  They can't great us with flowers as their liberators since they ate them all due to starvation.  That is a dealbreaker.
 
2013-04-09 04:18:29 AM  

universebetween: we beat USSR in a game of monopoly. they went bankrupt but instead of us getting the money and property and railroads they sold it to their friend Russia who was also playing. we should of won that game.


they were too big to fail.
 
2013-04-09 04:18:30 AM  

NobleHam: limited military action


I think the issue is that many "limited military actions" can easily become "costly and bloody clusterfarks" if things don't go as planned. And we're talking war here, when do things ever go according to plan?
 
2013-04-09 04:22:03 AM  
Oh shiat, they're testing the Emergency Alert System right now ....

/buggers interrupted my favorite DJ!
 
2013-04-09 04:24:07 AM  

log_jammin: universebetween: we beat USSR in a game of monopoly. they went bankrupt but instead of us getting the money and property and railroads they sold it to their friend Russia who was also playing. we should of won that game.

they were too big to fail.


so what you're saying is that tptb saw ussr as a tbtf so they rebranded the product and repackaged them as RUSSIA!
 
2013-04-09 04:26:33 AM  

universebetween: log_jammin: universebetween: we beat USSR in a game of monopoly. they went bankrupt but instead of us getting the money and property and railroads they sold it to their friend Russia who was also playing. we should of won that game.

they were too big to fail.

so what you're saying is that tptb saw ussr as a tbtf so they rebranded the product and repackaged them as RUSSIA!


omg it makes sense now. USSR+USA = RUSSiA
 
2013-04-09 04:27:50 AM  
So, either shiat will go down on the 11th, the 15th, or not at all (as per usual). Is North Korea secretly run by mediacom? they gave me the same shiat window for an internet install.
 
2013-04-09 04:27:54 AM  

universebetween: universebetween: log_jammin: universebetween: we beat USSR in a game of monopoly. they went bankrupt but instead of us getting the money and property and railroads they sold it to their friend Russia who was also playing. we should of won that game.

they were too big to fail.

so what you're saying is that tptb saw ussr as a tbtf so they rebranded the product and repackaged them as RUSSIA!

omg it makes sense now. USSR+USA = RUSSiA


and guess who made the packaging? that's right....CHINA!
 
2013-04-09 04:30:37 AM  

log_jammin: universebetween: universebetween: log_jammin: universebetween: we beat USSR in a game of monopoly. they went bankrupt but instead of us getting the money and property and railroads they sold it to their friend Russia who was also playing. we should of won that game.

they were too big to fail.

so what you're saying is that tptb saw ussr as a tbtf so they rebranded the product and repackaged them as RUSSIA!

omg it makes sense now. USSR+USA = RUSSiA

and guess who made the packaging? that's right....CHINA!


are all red pandas communists?
 
2013-04-09 04:34:50 AM  

log_jammin: NobleHam: We're going to go to war with North Korea eventually because we'll have to

exactly. Just like we had to with the Soviets and China. It's inevitable.


universebetween: log_jammin: NobleHam: We're going to go to war with North Korea eventually because we'll have to

exactly. Just like we had to with the Soviets and China. It's inevitable.

we beat USSR in a game of monopoly. they went bankrupt but instead of us getting the money and property and railroads they sold it to their friend Russia who was also playing. we should of won that game.


And North Korea is already as close to bankrupt as it can get. What, log_jammin, do you imagine will happen to make that regime fall? An uprising of the masses? Too hungry, too brutalized. International pressure? We've seen how well that works. We got some concessions in the late 90s that lasted all of two years before they went back to the same old shiat. A high-minded reformer taking power? From the Kim family, or do you imagine one of his Generals will overthrow him and be a nice, reasonable guy?

Cagey B: NobleHam: So we can wait for North Korea to crumble... except that their propaganda machine and tight control of resources prevents that from happening...

Also, this is the part where you confirm that you have no f*cking clue what you're talking about. Go charge that DMZ, brave internet soldier.


I've studied Korea for fifteen years.

miss diminutive: NobleHam: limited military action

I think the issue is that many "limited military actions" can easily become "costly and bloody clusterfarks" if things don't go as planned. And we're talking war here, when do things ever go according to plan?


There will be no insurgency or prolonged resistance in North Korea. The idea of a unified Korea is too powerful in the psyche of both North and South to allow it, as long as the South takes charge in rebuilding. North Korea has even encouraged a hasty reconciliation once the war is over with its glorification of Choson and what it represents. When the leadership is gone, the fight will be over. This is not Iraq, this is not Vietnam.
 
2013-04-09 04:46:44 AM  

NobleHam: What, log_jammin, do you imagine will happen to make that regime fall?


No idea. what I do have an idea about is failed attempts at nation building and regime change.

NobleHam: There will be no insurgency or prolonged resistance in North Korea.


thank you Mr Cheney. Here I thought a brainwashed population force fed daily propaganda about the American war machine coming to crush the homes and families might just do more than roll over and whimper, but now we know they would greet us as liberators.
 
2013-04-09 04:46:57 AM  
Y'all do know, don't you that after NK Zerg-rushes South Korea, enslaves Japan and nukes every major American city, that they are gonna take that "Best Korea" taunt and break it off in every U.S. citizen's ass, and THEN we'll be sorry.

/da Worm told me so
//I for one, welcome our new emaciated overlords
 
2013-04-09 04:50:54 AM  

universebetween: log_jammin: NobleHam: We're going to go to war with North Korea eventually because we'll have to

exactly. Just like we had to with the Soviets and China. It's inevitable.

we beat USSR in a game of monopoly. they went bankrupt but instead of us getting the money and property and railroads they sold it to their friend Russia who was also playing. we should of won that game.


Did they? As in their government? The

log_jammin: universebetween: universebetween: log_jammin: universebetween: we beat USSR in a game of monopoly. they went bankrupt but instead of us getting the money and property and railroads they sold it to their friend Russia who was also playing. we should of won that game.

they were too big to fail.

so what you're saying is that tptb saw ussr as a tbtf so they rebranded the product and repackaged them as RUSSIA!

omg it makes sense now. USSR+USA = RUSSiA

and guess who made the packaging? that's right....CHINA!


Never worked at a US printing plant have ya. The money is buried in the companies somewhere, but you are not going to move millions of pounds of dated paper products by ship or plane in a week. Not even Dwight can pull that shiat off.
 
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