You left out one activity: looking out the window.

Back in the day, this would have been very interesting for my (I say that even though I've moved out) cat. She was all over the place, gone for days at a time regularly enough. She was quite adept at killing things, so food wasn't an issue. In her old age though, she's simplified a bit. You'll find her napping on my parent's bed, in my Mom's sweaters, in the kitchen, or (if weather is above 65 degrees), on the deck. If the weather is above 80, it simplifies even further: On the deck, or in the kitchen.
Not a very interesting map.

Cheron: So very much like Billy from Family Circus.  Both wander the neighborhood, both stop and investigate the most unusual things and both leave a trail of bodies killed just for pleasure.

I love this post so much.

DNRTFA but I'm guessing it's another one of those "cats murder trillions of birds" stories that have been in vogue recently.  That's why I only had two doves, a dozen goldfinches, half a dozen chickadees, and roughly a quarter million sparrows clustering around my feeders yesterday.

Won't someone think of the worms?

douchebag/hater: The cat you loved is one of the millions responsible for decimating the bird population. Get your cat inside and stop it from killing wild birds.
Idiot.

The ecology has changed, and cats are now part of it.  Bird will adapt or go extinct.  Lots of birds have learned that you Do Not Taunt Happy-Fun Cat!

Not GPS, but I did use video surveillance to prove my cat was a scam artist.

We had long suspected this, and the tape bore out that she would lie on the couch all day, then as soon as she heard a car pull into the driveway she'd rush to the kitchen, scarf every bit of food in the dish, and of course once we came in she'd be mewing piteously about how cruel we were to leave her without food.

MyKingdomForYourHorse:

I thought that was already debunked, like they tracked thousands of cats and found that only a scarce quarter of them actually ever caught anything. Basically they proved the modern house cats are shiatty hunters.

I once witnessed the scammer cat mentioned above nail a bird through a window that was open 1", and she had always been an indoor cat. Growing up we had Mort, Lord of Death who... Well, let's just say you always looked before going out on the porch barefoot, as he was prone to leaving gifts like half a rabbit, half a bird, half a snake...

Secrets of Your Cat.

10. He or she is being fed by five different little old ladies.

  9. Your cat has more homes-away from home than a Russian Kleptocrat.

  8. Your cat can walk 40 miles a day but can't be moved from a chair you want to sit on.

  7. Your cat can drive a car. That's why it is important to keep a notebook of your mileage. Because you cat can not fake a hand-written note, although they can reprogram your computer to show nothing but weird porn sites.

  6. Cats are plotting to take over the world, just like in the movies.

  5. Inspector Gadget's arch-enemy the Claw is just a robotic arm, manipulated by the Claw's cat.

  4. When you are out of the house, the cat goes into the bathroom and licks your toothbrushes.

  3. Cats are strong swimmers. They use your pool when you are out of town to throw enormous pool parties.

  2. Cats can flick in and out of alternative realities, so don't be surprised if the GPS record shows frequent gaps.

  1. If you put a cat in a box, it is neither dead nor alive. It is simply not in the box until you look again. It may take the opportunity to flick out of the box to its special place in Tahiti, or perhaps it will spend some time in the kitchen cupboard, eating your snacks. You should always keep your cat in a plexi-glass box or glass jar (fig. 1) to avoid superpositioned states and other feline trickery


fig. 1 Ilustration of the proper storage of cats when not in use