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(The Atlantic)   "The secret life of cats: What you can learn by putting a GPS on your kitty." Subby learned his cat eats, sleeps, poops, and is plotting to kill him. Wait.... I thought that was ALL cats?   (theatlantic.com) divider line 41
    More: Stupid, GPS, cats, sleeps  
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6359 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2013 at 8:29 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-09 02:31:01 AM
You left out one activity: looking out the window.
 
2013-04-09 08:31:47 AM

Bucky Katt: You left out one activity: looking out the window.


That's all part of the murder plot.
 
2013-04-09 08:34:10 AM
Finding the nearest ray of sunshine, and laying in it

Finding the nearest piece of paper, and laying on it

Finding the nearest laptop, and laying on it

Finding the Nearest box, and laying in it

basically, finding things and laying on it...
 
2013-04-09 08:35:44 AM
Or laying in the sunshine. I noticed they can be quite crabby if you pet them while doing that.
 
2013-04-09 08:36:41 AM
Kitty on my foot and I want to touch it.
 
2013-04-09 08:38:30 AM
Back in the day, this would have been very interesting for my (I say that even though I've moved out) cat. She was all over the place, gone for days at a time regularly enough. She was quite adept at killing things, so food wasn't an issue. In her old age though, she's simplified a bit. You'll find her napping on my parent's bed, in my Mom's sweaters, in the kitchen, or (if weather is above 65 degrees), on the deck. If the weather is above 80, it simplifies even further: On the deck, or in the kitchen.
Not a very interesting map.
 
2013-04-09 08:38:59 AM

CeroX: Finding the nearest ray of sunshine, and laying in it

Finding the nearest piece of paper, and laying on it

Finding the nearest laptop, and laying on it

Finding the Nearest box, and laying in it

basically, finding things and laying on it...


Usually the clean clothes. Also, finding the best way to be between your legs as you walk to the kitchen.
 
2013-04-09 08:46:08 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: CeroX: Finding the nearest ray of sunshine, and laying in it

Finding the nearest piece of paper, and laying on it

Finding the nearest laptop, and laying on it

Finding the Nearest box, and laying in it

basically, finding things and laying on it...

Usually the clean clothes. Also, finding the best way to be between your legs as you walk to the kitchen.


For my cat, it is the nearest heater vent when the heat kicks on in the winter.
 
2013-04-09 08:46:30 AM
So very much like Billy from Family Circus.  Both wander the neighborhood, both stop and investigate the most unusual things and both leave a trail of bodies killed just for pleasure.
 
2013-04-09 08:47:30 AM
Looks like your standard territory for an outdoor cat...
 
2013-04-09 08:49:11 AM

Cheron: So very much like Billy from Family Circus.  Both wander the neighborhood, both stop and investigate the most unusual things and both leave a trail of bodies killed just for pleasure.


I love this post so much.
 
2013-04-09 08:50:23 AM
DNRTFA but I'm guessing it's another one of those "cats murder trillions of birds" stories that have been in vogue recently.  That's why I only had two doves, a dozen goldfinches, half a dozen chickadees, and roughly a quarter million sparrows clustering around my feeders yesterday.

Won't someone think of the worms?
 
2013-04-09 08:56:49 AM

Kibbler: DNRTFA but I'm guessing it's another one of those "cats murder trillions of birds" stories that have been in vogue recently.  That's why I only had two doves, a dozen goldfinches, half a dozen chickadees, and roughly a quarter million sparrows clustering around my feeders yesterday.

Won't someone think of the worms?


We had a cat the insisted on being an outdoor cat.  When he was getting older we just assumed that he was hunting as much or at all but the year after he died we were over run with mice and chipmunks.  Our vet offered to show us how a cat could be made an outdoor cat just to keep pests down.
 
2013-04-09 09:06:06 AM

Kibbler: DNRTFA but I'm guessing it's another one of those "cats murder trillions of birds" stories that have been in vogue recently.  That's why I only had two doves, a dozen goldfinches, half a dozen chickadees, and roughly a quarter million sparrows clustering around my feeders yesterday.

Won't someone think of the worms?


That's why cats are on our leach list. Their raison d' etre is that they kill all the vermin, no matter how small, in our vicinity... for that they get shelter and the vegetable matter we call 'food'.
 
2013-04-09 09:07:58 AM

Kibbler: DNRTFA but I'm guessing it's another one of those "cats murder trillions of birds" stories that have been in vogue recently.  That's why I only had two doves, a dozen goldfinches, half a dozen chickadees, and roughly a quarter million sparrows clustering around my feeders yesterday.

Won't someone think of the worms?


I thought that was already debunked, like they tracked thousands of cats and found that only a scarce quarter of them actually ever caught anything. Basically they proved the modern house cats are shiatty hunters.
 
2013-04-09 09:22:04 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: Kibbler: DNRTFA but I'm guessing it's another one of those "cats murder trillions of birds" stories that have been in vogue recently.  That's why I only had two doves, a dozen goldfinches, half a dozen chickadees, and roughly a quarter million sparrows clustering around my feeders yesterday.

Won't someone think of the worms?

I thought that was already debunked, like they tracked thousands of cats and found that only a scarce quarter of them actually ever caught anything. Basically they proved the modern house cats are shiatty hunters.


I thought that they put little cameras on them and found that even house cats killed all the time even when not hungry?

Of course I read that in a Cracked article so who knows how true it is.
 
2013-04-09 09:22:28 AM

skinink: Kitty on my foot and I want to touch it.


Fark you kitty you're gonna spend the night OUTSIDE!

MyKingdomForYourHorse: Kibbler: DNRTFA but I'm guessing it's another one of those "cats murder trillions of birds" stories that have been in vogue recently.  That's why I only had two doves, a dozen goldfinches, half a dozen chickadees, and roughly a quarter million sparrows clustering around my feeders yesterday.

Won't someone think of the worms?

I thought that was already debunked, like they tracked thousands of cats and found that only a scarce quarter of them actually ever caught anything. Basically they proved the modern house cats are shiatty hunters.


My understanding is that for the minimal actually killings a cat manages its scent and presence proves a major deterrent. The same thing happens with squirrels once a hawk moves in. It may kill half a dozen or so before the rest just hightail it out of the new hunting ground. Survival instinct is pretty strong in those tiny pests.
 
2013-04-09 09:34:33 AM

MyKingdomForYourHorse: I thought that was already debunked, like they tracked thousands of cats and found that only a scarce quarter of them actually ever caught anything. Basically they proved the modern house cats are shiatty hunters


Whenever our two cats escape the confines of the house, it takes maybe 2 hours for the garage / rear deck / front porch to be covered with blood, feathers, fur, or the like: leftovers from any number of helpless critters.  They're ruthless, coldblooded killers, and spend 99% of their time indoors.  The rest of their time indoors they spend sulking near windows, looking all depressed they aren't outside killing something - especially in spring.

Our youngest cat got out one day a few years ago, and completely cleaned out our neighbor's koi pond.   8 fish, some 2-3 pounds.  Ruthless.  I found out that day how expensive those damn fish are.
 
2013-04-09 09:43:55 AM
Subby, I didn't know that my cats knew you, let alone wanted to kill you.  Maybe I should put GPS on them and track them.
 
2013-04-09 09:54:11 AM
As far as killers go, I find that it can vary by breed.  All my tabbies would kill anything that moved.  I had a few "cow" cats (1/2 black 1/2 white) that would watch a moth for five hours without ever making a move to catch it.  However I have known some tuxedo cats that are cold blooded murderers. I had a tabby that would gently bring in mice and birds and cicadas so that she could play with them in the house.  Freaked Mom out!  I could always tell by the muffled mrowf at the back door that she had something.  I would catch her, pull the bird out of her mouth, let the bird warm up in my hand and it would fly away.  Mice I had to relocate to the woods because I could never kill them.  Having gerbils and hamsters can do that to ya.

 The big problem around here now is cats disappearing.  I suspect coyotes and lunatics who pick up your cat and sell it on craigslist.
 
2013-04-09 09:58:43 AM

Frozboz: Our youngest cat got out one day a few years ago, and completely cleaned out our neighbor's koi pond.   8 fish, some 2-3 pounds.  Ruthless.  I found out that day how expensive those damn fish are.


My big question is did he/she eat any of them or just pull them out and torture them?

(sorry...that story was hilarious)
 
2013-04-09 10:16:06 AM

crzybtch: As far as killers go, I find that it can vary by breed.  All my tabbies would kill anything that moved.  I had a few "cow" cats (1/2 black 1/2 white) that would watch a moth for five hours without ever making a move to catch it.  However I have known some tuxedo cats that are cold blooded murderers. I had a tabby that would gently bring in mice and birds and cicadas so that she could play with them in the house.  Freaked Mom out!  I could always tell by the muffled mrowf at the back door that she had something.  I would catch her, pull the bird out of her mouth, let the bird warm up in my hand and it would fly away.  Mice I had to relocate to the woods because I could never kill them.  Having gerbils and hamsters can do that to ya.

 The big problem around here now is cats disappearing.  I suspect coyotes and lunatics who pick up your cat and sell it on craigslist.


I had one of the "cow" cats for a long time and he loved murdering things. The birds would dive at him when he was in the backyard. He became really good a the well timed jump to nab them out of the air. Pissed off my neighbor with the bird feeder.

Miss that cat :(. He was demon spawn but he loved me.
 
2013-04-09 11:22:17 AM
ARTA I wish all three of those people would get lost and not come back.


cfreak: I had one of the "cow" cats for a long time and he loved murdering things. The birds would dive at him when he was in the backyard. He became really good a the well timed jump to nab them out of the air. Pissed off my neighbor with the bird feeder.

Miss that cat :(. He was demon spawn but he loved me.


The cat you loved is one of the millions responsible for decimating the bird population. Get your cat inside and stop it from killing wild birds.
Idiot.
 
2013-04-09 11:37:33 AM
The cat you loved is one of the millions responsible for decimating the bird population. Get your cat inside and stop it from killing wild birds.
Idiot.



I was wondering what had happened to all the birds.
 
2013-04-09 11:43:14 AM

CeroX: Finding the nearest ray of sunshine, and laying in it

Finding the nearest piece of paper, and laying on it

Finding the nearest laptop, and laying on it

Finding the Nearest box, and laying in it

basically, finding things and laying on it...


Really, cats prefer to lay on things that are on top of things.
They aren't going to lay on the table, they lay on the laptop that is ON the table.  Or on the papers on said table, or the mail on the dresser, or the clean laundry on the bed (not on the bed remember, on the laundry that is on the bed).  The more different things piled on top of each other the better.  Laundry on top of towels on top of the blanket on the bed?  To a cat, irresistable!
 
2013-04-09 11:47:25 AM
We thought tibby was going to come home with a photo of a scary catnapper. What we got were some great photos of him staring at himself in the window.

Are you going to let me in yet, stupid human?

This guy is a typical cat owner. I've totally considered getting cameras in every room, not for intruders, but to catch them doing crazy cat shiat all day.
 
2013-04-09 12:53:09 PM

douchebag/hater: The cat you loved is one of the millions responsible for decimating the bird population. Get your cat inside and stop it from killing wild birds.
Idiot.


The ecology has changed, and cats are now part of it.  Bird will adapt or go extinct.  Lots of birds have learned that you Do Not Taunt Happy-Fun Cat!
 
2013-04-09 01:13:20 PM

SharkaPult: CeroX: Finding the nearest ray of sunshine, and laying in it

Finding the nearest piece of paper, and laying on it

Finding the nearest laptop, and laying on it

Finding the Nearest box, and laying in it

basically, finding things and laying on it...

Really, cats prefer to lay on things that are on top of things.
They aren't going to lay on the table, they lay on the laptop that is ON the table.  Or on the papers on said table, or the mail on the dresser, or the clean laundry on the bed (not on the bed remember, on the laundry that is on the bed).  The more different things piled on top of each other the better.  Laundry on top of towels on top of the blanket on the bed?  To a cat, irresistable!


mine would ounce and lay upon just apiece of paper i would drop on the floor, or a newspaper on the floor... it just needed to look like it didn't belong there and he would lay on it...

/Still miss him, he passed from heart failure back in September...
//17 years old
 
2013-04-09 01:42:14 PM
Cats should have the same rules as dogs. Keep them in your house or on a leash, and pick up their droppings. Cause I'm tired of my garden being my neighbours cats bathroom and my dog trying to eat its droppings....god I hate cats.
 
2013-04-09 01:46:51 PM

Frozboz: MyKingdomForYourHorse: I thought that was already debunked, like they tracked thousands of cats and found that only a scarce quarter of them actually ever caught anything. Basically they proved the modern house cats are shiatty hunters

Whenever our two cats escape the confines of the house, it takes maybe 2 hours for the garage / rear deck / front porch to be covered with blood, feathers, fur, or the like: leftovers from any number of helpless critters.  They're ruthless, coldblooded killers, and spend 99% of their time indoors.  The rest of their time indoors they spend sulking near windows, looking all depressed they aren't outside killing something - especially in spring.

Our youngest cat got out one day a few years ago, and completely cleaned out our neighbor's koi pond.   8 fish, some 2-3 pounds.  Ruthless.  I found out that day how expensive those damn fish are.


i watched a cat family. mother and kittens murder a few birds on my back deck.  mother was training them to hunt she was doing a damn good job of it too.
 
2013-04-09 02:25:26 PM
Not GPS, but I did use video surveillance to prove my cat was a scam artist.

We had long suspected this, and the tape bore out that she would lie on the couch all day, then as soon as she heard a car pull into the driveway she'd rush to the kitchen, scarf every bit of food in the dish, and of course once we came in she'd be mewing piteously about how cruel we were to leave her without food.

MyKingdomForYourHorse:

I thought that was already debunked, like they tracked thousands of cats and found that only a scarce quarter of them actually ever caught anything. Basically they proved the modern house cats are shiatty hunters.

I once witnessed the scammer cat mentioned above nail a bird through a window that was open 1", and she had always been an indoor cat. Growing up we had Mort, Lord of Death who... Well, let's just say you always looked before going out on the porch barefoot, as he was prone to leaving gifts like half a rabbit, half a bird, half a snake...
 
2013-04-09 02:30:07 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-09 03:03:55 PM
unscrwed.com
 
2013-04-09 04:03:34 PM
My feral orange tabby is the worst hunter to ever grow whiskers. Spends a considerable part of each day sitting underneath the bird feeder in plain sight. Just sits there and looks up for hours. Never ever caught a bird. Has bagged a moth and one mouse though. Played with the mouse all afternoon the day she caught it. I think she adopted us so she could eat.
 
2013-04-09 04:07:31 PM
Secrets of Your Cat.


10. He or she is being fed by five different little old ladies.

  9. Your cat has more homes-away from home than a Russian Kleptocrat.

  8. Your cat can walk 40 miles a day but can't be moved from a chair you want to sit on.

  7. Your cat can drive a car. That's why it is important to keep a notebook of your mileage. Because you cat can not fake a hand-written note, although they can reprogram your computer to show nothing but weird porn sites.

  6. Cats are plotting to take over the world, just like in the movies.

  5. Inspector Gadget's arch-enemy the Claw is just a robotic arm, manipulated by the Claw's cat.

  4. When you are out of the house, the cat goes into the bathroom and licks your toothbrushes.

  3. Cats are strong swimmers. They use your pool when you are out of town to throw enormous pool parties.

  2. Cats can flick in and out of alternative realities, so don't be surprised if the GPS record shows frequent gaps.

  1. If you put a cat in a box, it is neither dead nor alive. It is simply not in the box until you look again. It may take the opportunity to flick out of the box to its special place in Tahiti, or perhaps it will spend some time in the kitchen cupboard, eating your snacks. You should always keep your cat in a plexi-glass box or glass jar (fig. 1) to avoid superpositioned states and other feline trickery

24.media.tumblr.com
fig. 1 Ilustration of the proper storage of cats when not in use
 
2013-04-09 05:15:04 PM

Cheron: Our vet offered to show us how a cat could be made an outdoor cat just to keep pests down.


That doesn't sound too difficult. Unless it has already found the spare key.
 
2013-04-09 06:19:50 PM
I screened up my back deck so the little snotgurgle can't get loose in the neighborhood. Zero fleas. Zero scuffles with the neighborhood mutts. No auto accidents. Plenty of cat grass in containers.

The cat likes it because he's never far from the food dish and it's in the sunniest spot on my property.
 
2013-04-09 07:39:41 PM

Evil High Priest: Cheron: Our vet offered to show us how a cat could be made an outdoor cat just to keep pests down.

That doesn't sound too difficult. Unless it has already found the spare key.



I rarely truly laugh out loud when I read these threads...

Well done.
 
2013-04-10 09:24:16 AM
so, 2 poofs tracked their cats.
 
2013-04-10 09:30:32 AM
I moved to a new house a couple years ago, bring in tow 4 cats, 2 males 2 females indoor/outdoor cats. 2 days at the house the 2 males ran off, one was 5  and the other was 10. we were pretty upset about it. 7 months later while taking a detour because of road construction.  my wife yells out the name of our cat and jumps out of our car. here I am thinking she is nabbing someone else's cat, she grabs him and we take him home. it was obvious that it was him. we found him about a mile away and he appeared to be well fed.
 
2013-04-10 09:51:08 AM

crzybtch: Frozboz: Our youngest cat got out one day a few years ago, and completely cleaned out our neighbor's koi pond.   8 fish, some 2-3 pounds.  Ruthless.  I found out that day how expensive those damn fish are.

My big question is did he/she eat any of them or just pull them out and torture them?

(sorry...that story was hilarious)


We think she ate a few but then left the rest to just die: we found several dead fish mostly in-tact around our lawn, garage, and flowerbed.  Like I said, ruthless.  She's the most adorable kitty.  Hard to see her doing it, but there it is.  She was very proud of it too.
 
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