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(Pajiba)   For a refreshing change, a mom posts a list of 10 things about which non-breeders need to ESS. TEE. EFF. YOO. (Update: Turns out the author is a dad)   (pajiba.com) divider line 421
    More: Hero, morning shows, Blair Koenig, mom, doctor's visit  
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23571 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2013 at 9:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-09 08:31:14 AM
Oh snap!
 
2013-04-09 08:33:55 AM
Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.
 
2013-04-09 08:34:32 AM
A mommy blog. Outstanding. That's something the internet, not to mention a lot of facebook feeds, hasn't seen much of yet.
 
2013-04-09 08:38:44 AM

Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.


Can't wait to see how her lil snowflakes turn out. Mom sure seems precious and unique herself.
The whole thing is amusing angry fail, "Area Mom Gets Angry At Everyone" Onion kind of stuff... one can only wonder whether 1) she's a single parent or 2) the husband is glad she has time to froth and foam on the computer so he can get some time to himself.
 
2013-04-09 08:54:46 AM
I'll get the popcorn. The shaking of impotent, hipster, childless douche-fists and water-retaining, vomit-layered, parent-hands in this thread is going to be an awesome spectacle.
 
2013-04-09 08:56:02 AM

Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.


Having kids will do that to you.
 
2013-04-09 09:05:16 AM
Unless I'm missing it, the mom's name is Dustin Rowles.  That's a weird name for a mom.
 
2013-04-09 09:05:22 AM
That was a lot of noise. I'm a good parent, so that stuff doesn't apply to me.

Well, off to take my two toddlers for brunch at the Marriott and post pictures on Facebook of them elbow deep in the chocolate fountain.
 
2013-04-09 09:16:27 AM
 STFU, Childless People: The 10 Most Annoying Complaints From Non-Breeders About Parents Reasons I Should Have Never Reproduced.

Let's just fix that up.
 
2013-04-09 09:17:06 AM

For a refreshing change, a mom posts a list


I do not plan to read the list. I plan to assume that the author shrieking harpy is angry about being a subpar parent and is jealous of people who do not have to deal with her children.
 
2013-04-09 09:18:08 AM
She sounds like a bad parent.
 
2013-04-09 09:18:18 AM
That's why we go out, dumbass. We just paid $7 plus (a very generous) tip for a crappy grilled cheese sandwich so we wouldn't have to deal with that mess.

The person who wrote that should have her head smashed in with a ball-peen hammer.
 
2013-04-09 09:18:24 AM
Am I the only one who laughed my (child-free) a** off after reading this?  Seriously lady, switch to decaf.
 
2013-04-09 09:18:31 AM
It's not that you are a breeder, it's that you are an asshole.
 
2013-04-09 09:19:03 AM
I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.
 
2013-04-09 09:19:44 AM
If I hear one more non-breeder complain about a parents failure to "control their kid" based on that one shiatty little brat they saw throwing a tantrum in the middle of Wal-Mart, I'm going to go apoplectic. For every tantrum-throwing little sh*t, there are 300 well-adjusted children who don't have to be removed from a situation, and yet it is this complaint that is most often cited.

Non sequitur much? We aren't complaining about the children who aren't throwing a tantrum.

/non-parent
//active godisafairytalefather to 6 year old
 
2013-04-09 09:20:30 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: For a refreshing change, a mom posts a list


I do not plan to read the list. I plan to assume that the author shrieking harpy is angry about being a subpar parent and is jealous of people who do not have to deal with her children.


It's mostly her making assumptions on behalf of the non-breeders.

A few strawmen, so I stopped reading it myself.

I think most of the problems would be solved if kids under 12 were kept on a leash when in public.
 
2013-04-09 09:20:43 AM
This list was about as fair and objective as most anti-parent rants.  I have no problem with it.  Was the blogger a little vitriolic, sure, but that is probably a reaction to a lot of the 'I shouldn't have to be slightly inconvenienced for your decision to breed' self centered attitude that is so prevalent.
 
2013-04-09 09:20:44 AM

PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.
 
2013-04-09 09:20:57 AM
Dont worry parents, non breeders will non breed themselves out of the population in a few generations.
 
2013-04-09 09:21:55 AM
Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets?

You should, my dog's way cuter than that ugly dollop of mayonnaise you call a baby.
 
2013-04-09 09:22:27 AM

abadabba: Dont worry parents, non breeders will non breed themselves out of the population in a few generations.


Unfortunately.  Self-centered, entitled, whiny non-breeders grow up to become self-centered, entitled, helicopter breeders.
 
2013-04-09 09:22:31 AM

snuff3r: I'll get the popcorn. The shaking of impotent, hipster, childless douche-fists and water-retaining, vomit-layered, parent-hands in this thread is going to be an awesome spectacle.


There's not much to argue about, sorry. It's just one person saying "Yeah, well you're...you're just as obnoxious about your pets! And you just can't understand my plight!". Not too much to reply to.
 
2013-04-09 09:22:38 AM
I hate obnoxious parents that rage about how difficult their lives are. My wife and I spent $50,000 trying to have that chance and it still didn't work. STFU and be happy with what you have.
 
2013-04-09 09:22:58 AM
FTFA:  2.Control Your Children in Restaurants - Look, if you see a kid at a restaurant, more times than not, it's because you've chosen to go to a "family" restaurant, and "family" often means loud-mouthed litte (sic) brats.

9.What Really Annoys Me Is When Parents Yell at their Kids But Never Get Out of Their Chair and Deal with the Kid - Well, how are we supposed to "deal with it"? We yelled at the kid, didn't we?



biatch, please.  Your parents would have handled this shiat.  Why can't you?


/ When I was a kid, a "time out" meant my dad took time out of his busy day to whip my ass.
 
2013-04-09 09:23:22 AM

GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.


Fortunately I can pay for my own hospice/nursing home care....also, do parents really have kids just so they can have someone to take care of them when they get old? What if your kids have children of their own? Pretty selfish attitude...
 
2013-04-09 09:23:32 AM

GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.


Easily the best part of the article.  Geez ... what is it with dog owners?  And the ones who are parents post more pics of the dogs than the kids.
 
2013-04-09 09:23:42 AM
Hero tag needs a bit of Obvious or Sad.  Can't decide which.
 
2013-04-09 09:23:50 AM
If you're not posting pictures of your children or pets, you're probably posting pictures of your meals. Or your choice of alcoholic beverages.

I don't really want to see pictures of anything short of a two headed eagle or some good arson.
 
2013-04-09 09:24:18 AM
That's a lot of whine and examples of "it's ok because other similarly annoying people" that aren't liked either
 
2013-04-09 09:24:47 AM

MycroftHolmes: This list was about as fair and objective as most anti-parent rants.  I have no problem with it.  Was the blogger a little vitriolic, sure, but that is probably a reaction to a lot of the 'I shouldn't have to be slightly inconvenienced for your decision to breed' self centered attitude that is so prevalent.


Pretty much this. Few things are more irritating than a kids freaking out in public, but since I'm not a kid myself I just farking deal with it. This mom's a lot of things, wrong not among them.

abadabba: Dont worry parents, non breeders will non breed themselves out of the population in a few generations.


The wealthy and comfortable tend to be the K-strategists. Poor folks will always be more numerous.
 
2013-04-09 09:24:49 AM
But if you choose to eat comfort food with the masses anyway, you can shove your judgmental stares. I know you think if you were in our position, you'd grab that whiny little sh*t and take him or her home the second he acted out, but you wouldn't.

Sure I would, that's what my parents did.

And there was no dinner provided after that.
 
2013-04-09 09:25:22 AM

PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Dead-Ender?
 
2013-04-09 09:25:50 AM
Look: We already did all that, and we found our spouses, and we got married, and we had kids SO WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT ANYMORE.

Oh, look, an unattractive joyless biatch.
 
2013-04-09 09:26:16 AM

towatchoverme: GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.

Easily the best part of the article.  Geez ... what is it with dog owners?  And the ones who are parents post more pics of the dogs than the kids.


Can we go ahead and outlaw the word "furbaby?"
 
2013-04-09 09:26:58 AM
#4 forgot to include the "I've babysat plenty of kids to know......"
 
2013-04-09 09:27:10 AM
Congratulations, you've mastered one of the most basic biological processes. Pardon me while I stop the world to celebrate how amazing you are because you figured out how to procreate.

I mean, I like kids and all, but can we seriously stop this ridiculous sense of superiority that some (admittedly not most) parents have just because they worked out how to produce offspring?
 
2013-04-09 09:27:13 AM
Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.
 
2013-04-09 09:27:42 AM
Full disclosure, I'm a parent of a 4 yr old girl.

The article makes some good points, but number 9 is bullshiat.  Whenever my precious snowflake is doing something that isn't very precious and is annoying/hurting/generally shiat disturbing others and she doesn't respond to my chairbourne correction, I get up and deal with her....  usually by crouching down in front of her, telling her I want to talk to her, explaining why what she's doing isn't acceptable and threatening her with a time out if she continues.  If that doesn't take care of it, then I follow through with the time out unless she behaves.

Why do I do this?  Because I want my chair-based words of correction to farking mean something.  My sister in law shrieks at her children and they don't give a fark because they know it doesn't mean anything.  On the other hand, the 9 times out of 10 when I calmly tell her to stop doing something stupid and other parents tell me how well behaved she is, it's not because she's awesome (which she is, I have to be honest) it's because she knows that there are consistent and knowable consequences to misbehaving and it's more fun to find something else to get into.

We have plenty of ways to make our kids behave without thrashing them or inducing some kind of cruelty...  if your kid is misbehaving it's probably because you don't follow through on your correction of their behaviour and they know you're full of shiat.
 
2013-04-09 09:27:54 AM

xanadian: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Having kids will do that to you.


What excuse to non-breeders use?

News Flash: There are obnoxious assholes in the world. Some have kids, some don't.
 
2013-04-09 09:28:12 AM

TomD9938: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Dead-Ender?


Self-Darwiner?
 
2013-04-09 09:28:38 AM
Kids don't bother me at all.  In fact, I like kids.  What I can't stand are the goddam parents who expect everyone to treat their children as if they're the center of the universe.
 
2013-04-09 09:28:56 AM

neversubmit: It's not that you aren't a breeder, it's that you are an asshole.


FTFY
Choosing to live your life wrapped in self absorption doesn't make you a better person.
 
2013-04-09 09:29:04 AM
7 whole dollars?
 
2013-04-09 09:29:05 AM

Rev.K: That was a lot of noise. I'm a good parent, so that stuff doesn't apply to me.

Well, off to take my two toddlers for brunch at the Marriott and post pictures on Facebook of them elbowknee deep in the chocolate fountain.


FTFM
 
2013-04-09 09:29:36 AM

MycroftHolmes: This list was about as fair and objective as most anti-parent rants.  I have no problem with it.  Was the blogger a little vitriolic, sure, but that is probably a reaction to a lot of the 'I shouldn't have to be slightly inconvenienced for your decision to breed' self centered attitude that is so prevalent.


I agree, but I also as a parent of three little kids agree with the complaints 1, 2, 2a, 9 and sometimes 7.  Sure, people complain too much about kids in public, as we'll see in spades in this thread, but there are too many parents that simply drop the reins.  Also, you can put a spread-out napkin or two under a high-chair to catch the debris that would be caught at home by a dog.  It isn't a lot of effort and you can then give the dropped food back to the butterfingered kid.

And, yes, SAHMs post way too many f*cking pictures of their kids on Facebook.  I see several kids on there more often than I see my own.  Learn to separate the wheat from the chaff, ladies!
 
2013-04-09 09:29:50 AM

PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


But you have no compunction call people 'breeders'
 
2013-04-09 09:30:06 AM
I wonder if people truly understand how unimportant we really are in the grand scheme of things.
 
2013-04-09 09:30:15 AM
As a parent one of the most important skills I hope to bestow upon my children is to not give a shiat what some dumbarse hipster thinks.
 
2013-04-09 09:30:49 AM
I'm a proud "non-breeder" (that term is as stupid as crotch dropping), but I also don't harangue parents in public if their kids start acting up.  Just because some people do, doesn't mean we all do.  The only time I'll say anything to a parent about their parenting skills is if I see them hitting their kid.  Not spanking on the bottom, I mean smacking in the face with an open hand.  Then you best believe you're going to get an earful from me, and I dare you to smack ME in the face.

The problem here is the same with the atheist vs. believer argument; it's always the vocal minority that ends up speaking for the majority.  Not all parents are shiatty, inattentive control freaks and not all childless people are whiny douchebags.
 
2013-04-09 09:31:12 AM
Since when does dining out, even at a family restaurant, mean that I am require to listen to your screeching crotch fruit? My children and my grandchildren were taught how to behave in public. If you want them to run wild, take them to the dog park. If you bring your untrained brats into a restaurant, expect the glaring looks and complaints to the management.
 
2013-04-09 09:31:14 AM

abadabba: Dont worry parents, non breeders will non breed themselves out of the population in a few generations.


Just like gays, amirite?
 
2013-04-09 09:31:25 AM
[notsureifserious.jpg]
 
2013-04-09 09:31:27 AM
I would LOVE to leash my 2 year old little "free spirit". But I can't leave her tied up in the backyard.
 
2013-04-09 09:31:48 AM

xanadian: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Having kids will do that to you.


Taking it up the ass tends to as well

jk i just couldnt miss that opportunity
 
2013-04-09 09:31:55 AM
WHO WANTS TO SEE MACKEYNZY'S POOPY TIME PICTURES?!!
 
2013-04-09 09:31:55 AM

UberDave: Unless I'm missing it, the mom's name is Dustin Rowles.  That's a weird name for a mom.


I've met moms with a name of Rowles before. What's so strange about it?
 
2013-04-09 09:32:03 AM

servlet: Congratulations, you've mastered one of the most basic biological processes. Pardon me while I stop the world to celebrate how amazing you are because you figured out how to procreate.

I mean, I like kids and all, but can we seriously stop this ridiculous sense of superiority that some (admittedly not most) parents have just because they worked out how to produce offspring?


Exhibit A as to why some people, like this blogger, feel attacked and respond with venom.
 
2013-04-09 09:32:21 AM
How about this: if you've never raised a child, STFU.
 
2013-04-09 09:32:34 AM
if you hand-pick your friends among the worst annoying a-holes you know just so that you feel ok with being a douche towards them, I think that tells a lot about how what kind of person you are.

/One colleague posted "happy birthday son" on his FB page every month, on the XXth. We got to share the brat's bloody growth curbs, sickness bulletins, play-doh pictures, etc for 2 bloody years. I didn't hide those from my newsfeed in order to learn what not to do when I'll have one of my own.
 
2013-04-09 09:33:22 AM

Marcus Aurelius: How about this: if you've never raised a child, STFU.


If the topic comes up at all, clearly you must not be doing a good enough job of it and require advice from the village around you.
 
2013-04-09 09:34:01 AM

Crewmannumber6: But you have no compunction call people 'breeders'


Also, the pejorative "breeders" used to be way cooler.  My understanding was that gay folks used to use it as a word for heterosexuals.  A much better usage, in my mind.
 
2013-04-09 09:34:22 AM

namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.


When my sister and I were real little, if either of us acted out of turn in public, my parents would yank our butts out of wherever we were and we'd go straight home.  It only happened to me twice that I can remember, and I'm sure if I ask my mom, she'll say it was a lot more than that.  They never hit us, or even spanked us, never yelled and screamed at us, but we knew - if they take us out somewhere, anywhere....and they tell us to mind our manners, be quiet, sit still, any of that....we had better do it, no questions asked.
 
2013-04-09 09:34:31 AM
This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/
 
2013-04-09 09:34:55 AM

StarSys: I hate obnoxious parents that rage about how difficult their lives are. My wife and I spent $50,000 trying to have that chance and it still didn't work. STFU and be happy with what you have.


A lot of it is because they can't get their shiat together.  The guy in the article talking about his day/week is hilarious.  He has to spend part of the day "soaking up media"?!  Give me a break.
 
2013-04-09 09:34:59 AM
I've been out to dinner with my niece, who's a baby and her mother and the kid is quiet as a mouse the whole time. She's not deaf or a special needs kid or anything, she's just well behaved. And if she did act up my sister would be mortified and get her out, not act like an entitled biatch about it.
 
2013-04-09 09:35:09 AM
fta 4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.

and

4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.


Oh, and

4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.
 
2013-04-09 09:35:19 AM

Crewmannumber6: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

But you have no compunction call people 'breeders'


Only if that's your job description.  Do you breed horses?  Then you're a breeder.

Do you have kids? Then you're a parent.
 
2013-04-09 09:36:00 AM

Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.


Think about why you assumed the author was female. Then feel bad about yourself.
 
2013-04-09 09:36:25 AM
Things I've seen recently:

1. Kid about 4 years old, kicking a giant kickball up and down the aisles at Target.  Right next to shelves filled with glasses and plates.
2. Group of 5 kids (aged maybe 6 to 12) at a bar and grill, running the length of this place, jumping up onto a platform (KABOOM), then jumping back down and running back again.  About 50 times.
3. A kid on a razor scooter in a tiny little grocery store.  That one really astounded me.

But then, I remember being at an outdoor party many years ago, and there were a bunch of young kids there, and they were playing near the road, and running recklessly into the road to chase a ball, and this was a road where cars would come around a corner going 35 mph.  So I told these kids, hey, why don't you just move further into the yard, you shouldn't run into the road.  Man did that draw hostile glares from the booze-guzzling parents.  So OK, I just turned my back and ignored it.

Similar to an incident when I took my stepson to a Cub Scouts thing.  They were doing some kind of craft thing.  One dad brings along his 3-year-old as well, and then ignores him.  The kid grabs a pair of scissors, and is yanking ribbon out of a spool.  With the scissors in his hands.  So his right hand is making these huge, fluid arcs behind him, stabbing the scissors into the air.  I told the dad, hey, I think your kid might hurt somebody there.  So he says, "Bobby, put those scissors down."  Kids put them down.  Dad turns around.  Kid picks them back up and goes right back to the same thing.

Then there was the kid in the Cub Scouts troop who tried to burn essentially anything he could find when we had a "cookout" in our back yard.  His dad was there and completelhy ignored him.  I finally had to grab the kid's hands and say, "DO. NOT. PUT. ANYTHING. IN. THE. FIRE."  Dad finally got the message on that one; the event broke up soon after.  And I resolved never to do anything like that again.
 
2013-04-09 09:36:30 AM
If I go to Applebee's or The Cracker Barrel and there's some kid screaming his head off two tables over then I shrug and accept it.  You expect to see that kind of thing in a family restaurant.  But if I'm at a nicer resteraunt then I get real annoyed, real quick with screaming toddlers.
 
2013-04-09 09:36:34 AM

Capo Del Bandito: It's mostly her making assumptions on behalf of the non-breeders.



Let's face it -- just as there are obnoxious parents and bratty kids here and there, there's a certain segment of the childless population whose sense of superiority gets a little overweening at times. That's who the author's responding to.

You'll see them in this very thread, and you can always recognize them by their specialized vocabulary. I'm tempted to type out a word list, here, but I don't really need to.
 
2013-04-09 09:36:46 AM

towatchoverme: And the ones who are parents post more pics of the dogs than the kids.


Dogs pretty much stay cute and entertaining until they're dead. They're constantly doing stupid or ridiculous things. And when they fark up, you can biatch about it and not offend anyone because they're not human beings. The charm of kids wears off after the first week, and you have to be very careful when biatching about your kid or you will be judged severely.

My kid is 9 and autistic and I still find it hilariously entertaining when he does something new. It's like watching a 2 year old say "ooooooh bad daddy" for the first time, except he'll be 9 and slur the hell out of it. But he tried. And it just comes out really funny. It's like the best of both worlds. Probably just me, though.
 
2013-04-09 09:36:47 AM

Carn: That's why we go out, dumbass. We just paid $7 plus (a very generous) tip for a crappy grilled cheese sandwich so we wouldn't have to deal with that mess.

The person who wrote that should have her head smashed in with a ball-peen hammer.


THIS.  I am quite offended that she said this.  Regardless of what restaurant we go to, I consistently tell my kids to clean up after themselves.  I may not have to clean it, but someone does
 
2013-04-09 09:36:48 AM
Don't want to hear those complaints?  Then how about not breeding?
 
2013-04-09 09:36:52 AM

Bruised Martini: She sounds like a bad parent.

fat.

/FTFY.
 
2013-04-09 09:37:30 AM
9. What Really Annoys Me Is When Parents Yell at their Kids But Never Get Out of Their Chair and Deal with the Kid - Well, how are we supposed to "deal with it"? We yelled at the kid, didn't we? We can't spank them because you childless hippie liberals have taken that away from us.

Go piss up a rope.
 
2013-04-09 09:37:31 AM

Notabunny: fta 4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.

and

4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.

Oh, and

4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.


I think Louis CK got it best

"I used to judge other parents, I used to. But now, I don't don't. When I see a mom say to her kid 'shut up I hate you' I think to myself, what did that shiatty shiatty kid do to that poor woman"
 
2013-04-09 09:37:43 AM
towatchoverme: Geez ... what is it with dog owners?  And the ones who are parents post more pics of the dogs than the kids.

Duh. Dogs >>> kids.
 
2013-04-09 09:37:43 AM

Crewmannumber6: neversubmit: It's not that you aren't a breeder, it's that you are an asshole.

FTFYourself
Choosing to live your life wrapped in self absorption doesn't make you a better person.


Assumption of self absorption makes an ass out of you.
 
2013-04-09 09:38:05 AM

Notabunny: TomD9938: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Dead-Ender?

Self-Darwiner?


Gelding?
 
2013-04-09 09:38:24 AM

namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.


I've taken every single one of my kids outside of a restaurant, rain or shine, for a time out before.  I hate the perception that kids shouldn't be at any restaurants, but I'm not about to allow mine to contribute to kids' collective bad reputation there.

As a result, we often get complimented by staff and other patrons about our kids' demeanor.  Also, they are adventurous... nothing like seeing a waiter's jaw drop when a 5-y/o white kid orders "taco la lengua."

"You know that means 'beef tongue,' right?"
"BEEF TONGUE!"

The kid loves beef tongue, that's for damn certain.
 
2013-04-09 09:38:43 AM

Mercutio74: Full disclosure, I'm a parent of a 4 yr old girl.

The article makes some good points, but number 9 is bullshiat.  Whenever my precious snowflake is doing something that isn't very precious and is annoying/hurting/generally shiat disturbing others and she doesn't respond to my chairbourne correction, I get up and deal with her....  usually by crouching down in front of her, telling her I want to talk to her, explaining why what she's doing isn't acceptable and threatening her with a time out if she continues.  If that doesn't take care of it, then I follow through with the time out unless she behaves.

Why do I do this?  Because I want my chair-based words of correction to farking mean something.  My sister in law shrieks at her children and they don't give a fark because they know it doesn't mean anything.  On the other hand, the 9 times out of 10 when I calmly tell her to stop doing something stupid and other parents tell me how well behaved she is, it's not because she's awesome (which she is, I have to be honest) it's because she knows that there are consistent and knowable consequences to misbehaving and it's more fun to find something else to get into.

We have plenty of ways to make our kids behave without thrashing them or inducing some kind of cruelty...  if your kid is misbehaving it's probably because you don't follow through on your correction of their behaviour and they know you're full of shiat.



th716.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-09 09:38:52 AM

mortimer_ford: If you're not posting pictures of your children or pets, you're probably posting pictures of your meals. Or your choice of alcoholic beverages.

I don't really want to see pictures of anything short of a two headed eagle or some good arson.


We can't all be Sororitas.
 
2013-04-09 09:38:54 AM
That's one sandy twunt right there.
 
2013-04-09 09:39:18 AM

someonelse: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Think about why you assumed the author was female. Then feel bad about yourself.


Right there in the header: "drolly written by a mother ".
 
2013-04-09 09:39:33 AM
Translation: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. LOOK AT ME! I HAD A KID!

This is what happens when Precious Snowflakes breed.

Disclaimer: I am of the Precious Snowflake generation and shouldn't really talk
 
2013-04-09 09:40:30 AM

someonelse: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Think about why you assumed the author was female. Then feel bad about yourself.


If it was a man then he's a really obnoxious biatch.
 
2013-04-09 09:40:34 AM

tricycleracer: someonelse: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Think about why you assumed the author was female. Then feel bad about yourself.

Right there in the header: "drolly written by a mother ".


Reading comprehensi-burn
 
2013-04-09 09:40:39 AM

Egoy3k: 9. What Really Annoys Me Is When Parents Yell at their Kids But Never Get Out of Their Chair and Deal with the Kid - Well, how are we supposed to "deal with it"? We yelled at the kid, didn't we? We can't spank them because you childless hippie liberals have taken that away from us.

Go piss up a rope.


I tell kids to moan like it feels good when their rants spank them.
 
2013-04-09 09:41:10 AM

namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.


I only had to do this once. At a pizza hut. I forget how old my daughter was... almost 3 I think. We were meeting friends of my wife's and their 2 kids for dinner. The other couple had a 4 and 1 year old, I think and the 4 year old had some small toys that my daughter kept grabbing. I took her outside for about 10 minutes. When I came back in the pizza was there and the rest of dinner was fine.

Any other problems we had were when she was still in diapers and needed to be fed or changed. Easy fixes.
 
2013-04-09 09:41:25 AM
Sounds like someone wasn't ready for motherhood.
 
2013-04-09 09:41:30 AM
But here's the thing: you chose to have the kid (or to not abort it when you had the chance). You're biatching about the choices you made. Which is fine, we all do it. BUT-

Change it up once in a while. Being a parent isn't a shield against the rest of your life - your friends will be understanding, but when you've been to busy to take their calls for a year, they probably won't be your friends much longer. Having a kid doesn't mean the world needs to accommodate the two (three, four, twelve) of you - which means making the barest of attempts to have your kids follow the more basic social conventions.

Having a kid be loud in a restaurant means you can't take them outside for fear of whatever? Bullfark, my brother did just that with The Boy One in January - our first family meal in forever, and my brother spent half of it in the car with my nephew because the kid wouldn't stay within the table area or quiet.

Being a parent means living with the choices you made - stop using your kids as an excuse to be the same selfish prick you always were.
 
2013-04-09 09:42:32 AM

Coco LaFemme: When my sister and I were real little, if either of us acted out of turn in public, my parents would yank our butts out of wherever we were and we'd go straight home. It only happened to me twice that I can remember, and I'm sure if I ask my mom, she'll say it was a lot more than that. They never hit us, or even spanked us, never yelled and screamed at us, but we knew - if they take us out somewhere, anywhere....and they tell us to mind our manners, be quiet, sit still, any of that....we had better do it, no questions asked.


Hee hee.  I do a variation of that sometimes.  If we're in a store that I hate, like Walmart (yes, I know all about Walmart, my wife doesnt. care. one. bit.) and the kid starts misbehaving I'll pull out the, "If you don't start behaving we'll go sit in the car and wait for Mom to finish shopping."

I can't lose with that one.  I'll either have a well-behaved kid or I get to go play Temple Run 2 in the car instead of wander aimlessly through a retail wasteland like some pack mule of woe.
 
2013-04-09 09:42:56 AM

phaseolus: Capo Del Bandito: It's mostly her making assumptions on behalf of the non-breeders.


Let's face it -- just as there are obnoxious parents and bratty kids here and there, there's a certain segment of the childless population whose sense of superiority gets a little overweening at times. That's who the author's responding to.

You'll see them in this very thread, and you can always recognize them by their specialized vocabulary. I'm tempted to type out a word list, here, but I don't really need to.


"Crotchdroppings" and "crotchfruit" are essentially the equivalent of "0bama" in the politics threads. They mark the user as a halfwit.
 
2013-04-09 09:43:10 AM

servlet: Congratulations, you've mastered one of the most basic biological processes. Pardon me while I stop the world to celebrate how amazing you are because you figured out how to procreate.

I mean, I like kids and all, but can we seriously stop this ridiculous sense of superiority that some (admittedly not most) parents have just because they worked out how to produce offspring?


I have figured out how to do it.  I also figured out how to avoid procreating while 'practicing'.

This whole article smacks of a woman who had kids too early and is pissed off that her friends got to enjoy their 20's while she was pregnant and could not.  One of the things I have noticed with my friends is that the ones who got married younger and had kids right away after getting married are the ones like this woman, who complain about the single friends, or childless couples.  While two friends who got married in their early 30's and waited a couple years to have kids were able to adjust much faster because they were established in their lives and careers.

Also, the ones that got married early are significantly more likely to post inane pictures of their kids eating food, playing with the dogs or sleeping.  Those pictures usually get a response from my wife with another vacation photo from France, Germany or Egypt.
 
2013-04-09 09:43:24 AM

Notabunny: TomD9938: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Dead-Ender?

Self-Darwiner?


Member of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement?
 
2013-04-09 09:44:00 AM
On a planet with 7+ billion humans eating, chopping, burning, digging, killing and polluting the shiat out of everything, far more people need to Just. Stop. Breeding. Just say NO to reproduction. What are the chances YOUR genes are so much more wonderful than a few dozen million people Just Like You? Do you really need that second kid, and did you really need the first?

And hey, if you can't figure out how to avoid causing childbirth you should be sterilized by force: it's possible for stupid parents to have & raise nonstupid kids but you'd have a better chance on a trifecta at the Derby.

If you think that's harsh, here's another: people who've never seriously considered suicide are just too thick to be worth much. But more on that later.
 
2013-04-09 09:44:10 AM

someonelse: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Think about why you assumed the author was female. Then feel bad about yourself.


Because that's usually who can't control these kinds of emotional outbursts.

Also, "repopulate" is a dead giveaway for "breeder".
 
2013-04-09 09:44:26 AM
Parents aren't taking their kids to nice restaurants because we don't want to waste our money on something the kid is going to push around his plate, throw at his sister, or complain about.

Bullshiat they aren't. Rich parents take their spoiled-rotten kids to extremely nice restaurants all the time. And let them run around the place as if it were Chuck E. Cheese. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of kids who are perfectly well-behaved at restaurants. Mostly they're Asian and Hispanic kids. You never see those kids riding around in a stroller at age five, either.
 
2013-04-09 09:45:05 AM

tricycleracer


someonelse: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Think about why you assumed the author was female. Then feel bad about yourself.

Right there in the header: "drolly written by a mother ".


Also in the Fark headline: "a mom posts a list".

I believe this is where we point and laugh at someonelse.
 
2013-04-09 09:45:23 AM
PanicMan:

I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

I do. Proudly.
 
2013-04-09 09:46:34 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: tricycleracer

someonelse: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Think about why you assumed the author was female. Then feel bad about yourself.

Right there in the header: "drolly written by a mother ".


Also in the Fark headline: "a mom posts a list".

I believe this is where we point and laugh at someonelse.


Laugh away.
 
2013-04-09 09:46:35 AM

Mercutio74: We have plenty of ways to make our kids behave without thrashing them or inducing some kind of cruelty... if your kid is misbehaving it's probably because you don't follow through on your correction of their behaviour and they know you're full of shiat.


Rule Number 1 of Children: If people consistently complain about your child's behavior, and you don't see the problem, either you're a jerk yourself, or your child is like every other child and learned how to manipulate you long before they can pronounce the word "manipulation".
 
2013-04-09 09:46:38 AM
I have a theory that childless people who complain about other people's kids evolve into parents who are offended at childless people's complaints about their children.
 
2013-04-09 09:46:44 AM
Should we take away something? Because she's three, does she really have anything of value?

To her, yes.  This use to work fantastic on my daughter at that age.

<Kid situation>
Me:  You better stop what you're doing or I'm going to put one of your toys in time out.
Kid:  What are you gonna take?
Me:  What do you think I'm gonna take?
Kid: (GASP)  Not my Shamu!?!
Me:  Oh, you bet it's your Shamu.
</Kid situation>
 
2013-04-09 09:46:54 AM

Mugato: I've been out to dinner with my niece, who's a baby and her mother and the kid is quiet as a mouse the whole time. She's not deaf or a special needs kid or anything, she's just well behaved. And if she did act up my sister would be mortified and get her out, not act like an entitled biatch about it.


Girls seem to be much more well-behaved than boys, for some reason.
 
2013-04-09 09:46:56 AM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: If I go to Applebee's or The Cracker Barrel and there's some kid screaming his head off two tables over then I shrug and accept it.  You expect to see that kind of thing in a family restaurant.  But if I'm at a nicer resteraunt then I get real annoyed, real quick with screaming toddlers.


That is why I take my kids to paper napkin restaurants. Cloth napkin is for us sans children. I hit the Mexican restaurant and the precious 2 yr old is usually out of her seat midway through the meal. (this is why she is strapped down at home...) but she throws a fit if we try the "highchair" with the strap. You want to see a fit? I don't want to. So IF I make the choice to go out (which isn't that often) I try to keep her occupied with something at the table. It only works for so long, and I refuse to let her be electronically entertained. The 6 year old does that.

And believe me, I would LOVE to beat her ass... but I am trying hard not to do that. I would much rather correct her verbally. And I would love to have her calmly sit and eat. So if I starve her for half the day, she sits and eats...
 
2013-04-09 09:47:01 AM

Mercutio74: Full disclosure, I'm a parent of a 4 yr old girl.

The article makes some good points, but number 9 is bullshiat.  Whenever my precious snowflake is doing something that isn't very precious and is annoying/hurting/generally shiat disturbing others and she doesn't respond to my chairbourne correction, I get up and deal with her....  usually by crouching down in front of her, telling her I want to talk to her, explaining why what she's doing isn't acceptable and threatening her with a time out if she continues.  If that doesn't take care of it, then I follow through with the time out unless she behaves.

Why do I do this?  Because I want my chair-based words of correction to farking mean something.  My sister in law shrieks at her children and they don't give a fark because they know it doesn't mean anything.  On the other hand, the 9 times out of 10 when I calmly tell her to stop doing something stupid and other parents tell me how well behaved she is, it's not because she's awesome (which she is, I have to be honest) it's because she knows that there are consistent and knowable consequences to misbehaving and it's more fun to find something else to get into.

We have plenty of ways to make our kids behave without thrashing them or inducing some kind of cruelty...  if your kid is misbehaving it's probably because you don't follow through on your correction of their behaviour and they know you're full of shiat.


First off, this is not sarcasm ... Using fear as a tactic to keep kids in line is absolutely a great way to get them to pull it together in public. I use that card with my 9 year old a few times a month. A very sharp glare and pointed finger is all it takes for him to straighten up, and it doesn't cause a scene. He knows what's coming next. It is that fear that makes him straighten up. It was that fear that kept ME in line as a kid. It works, and it's more humane than constant beatings. (my father and I have a great relationship these days. it did no harm). As you said, follow through is the key. You can't verbally get a kid in line unless they know you WILL take it a step further if they don't. Otherwise, they'll ignore you. The whole thing is really common sense and I don't see how so many parents miss the "follow through" part.
 
2013-04-09 09:47:49 AM
I'm lucky enough to have married a person who is really good with kids.  I was a complete idiot and needed on-the-job training (work in progress).  Here's my pro-tips to eating out with kids.  We currently have a 6-year old and twin 22-month olds.  Hence, I'm qualified to comment.

1.) Choose a family friendly restaurant.  Seems obvious, right?  Seen some spectacular "FAIL" with this one at "nicer " restaurants.
2.) Kids are easily bored.  This is easily fixed.  Bring a small bag filled with coloring books, iPad, Kindle, whatever that will keep kids busy for the two important times during a meal when they cause trouble - waiting for the food and after they eat but mom and dad aren't done.
3.) Order an appetizer for the kids.  Maybe you make up for this by having them split their meals, but it's worth it.  I'm not saying you should overfeed them.  In fact, it's hard to over feed a kid who's routinely eating healthy stuff.

Mandatory CSB - once we were out at our local family bar and pub.  We were nearly done when a family walked in and sat down next to us.  Their kids were hellions and they kept getting yelled at.  My wife glanced over at their mom and said "here, you can have these, we are done with them" and gave her a couple of our coloring books and a small box of crayons.

Hellion children immediately changed into normal quiet kids - because they had something to do.

With very rare exceptions for psychosis, etc there's no such thing as bad kids.  There are just kids who are not given direction and activities.
 
2013-04-09 09:48:01 AM
As a parent, I agree that there are a lot of bad parents in the world, but a lot of the ones people complain about, do the things they do because it is what works. You can go into parenting with a basic plan on how to handle feeding, clothing, and disciplining a child, but raising a child is similar to combat in the sense that, once engaged, all planning goes out the window. You simply have to do what works, even if the people around are annoyed or disapprove.

Secondly, regarding pictures on Facebook: If you don't want to see them, you don't have to be friends with us or view our photo galleries. We put those pictures there for the people who do want to see them e.g. grandparents, aunts, cousins and other relatives who live out of state and care about our children. Non-breeders are not the reason we put pictures up. We sincerely apologize that our contribution to your newsfeed has failed to entertain you in a way that affirms your life-choices.
 
2013-04-09 09:49:20 AM
Mommy blogger, your arguments basically break down to:  "Narcissists who post food & pet pictures have no leg to stand on complaining about my mommy-blogging" and "and I have no sympathy for the suffering my children put you through, they put ME through worse."

The mommy blogger happens to be right about one thing: yeah, narcissists shouldn't complain that other narcissists are self-aggrandizing narcissists.  At the same time, I thank the high heavens that facebook allows me to filter out status updates from select individuals.  I have no interest, whatsoever, in your experience as a parent.

She's wrong, dead wrong, about the whole "my suffering is worse than yours so stfu" argument.  You shouldn't be foisting your child upon society if what it causes is misery.
 
2013-04-09 09:49:32 AM
Okay, so let me get this straight. You don't want to see pictures of my dogs, kids, or vacations? So, why the fark even have a Facebook account? No wonder I don't have one anymore.
 
2013-04-09 09:49:47 AM

Notabunny: fta 4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.

and

4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.

Oh, and

4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.


It's not that I don't understand, I just don't give a shiat
 
2013-04-09 09:50:19 AM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: If I go to Applebee's or The Cracker Barrel and there's some kid screaming his head off two tables over then I shrug and accept it.   You expect to see that kind of thing in a family restaurant.  But if I'm at a nicer resteraunt then I get real annoyed, real quick with screaming toddlers.


That's the problem right there. Hell no you shouldn't expect to see it. The parent should leave with the child if the child can't handle eating there. "But I paid for this farking grilled cheese..." Tough shiat. Teaching your child to behave in public should be worth more than a lousy grilled cheese sandwich.

/parent
 
2013-04-09 09:50:24 AM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: If I go to Applebee's or The Cracker Barrel and there's some kid screaming his head off two tables over then I shrug and accept it.  You expect to see that kind of thing in a family restaurant.  But if I'm at a nicer resteraunt then I get real annoyed, real quick with screaming toddlers.


There is a distinction from kids making noise, running around, jumping on furniture, etc (things kids do), and a kid having a full on melt down.  If I am at a family place, I accept that kids will run around, and sometimes (gasp) even interact with me uninvited.  But I would still consider it bad manners and bad parenting if your kid is going full on fukishima and you just ignore it.
 
2013-04-09 09:50:39 AM
Hero : schmeero.

Hero tag needs to go on hiatus for a while.

Have not seen a HERO tagged article containing an actual HERO in days.

Unless they've changed the definition from:


he·ro noun \ˈhir-(ˌ)ō\
plural he·roes

Definition of HERO
1
a : a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability
b : an illustrious warrior
c : a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities
d : one who shows great courage
2
a : the principal male character in a literary or dramatic work
b : the central figure in an event, period, or movement
3
plural usually he·ros : submarine 2
4
: an object of extreme admiration and devotion : idol

Examples of HERO
He returned from the war a national hero.
the hero of a rescue
She was a hero for standing up to the government.
His father has always been his hero.
He has always been a hero to his son.
A motto of his hero, Thomas Edison, is inscribed on a favorite sweatshirt : "To invent you need a good imagination and a pile of junk." -Britt Robson, Mother Jones, May/June 2008

To:

he·ro noun \ˈhir-(ˌ)ō\
plural he·roes


Definition of HERO
1
a : your average person who has not conclusively been proven to have ever raped a child or kicked a puppy, unless they deserved it
b : a person who says something you allegedly though of before / agree with
c : a man admired for his not being too huge of a pussy in the face of possible snark
d : one who shows great indifference
2
a : the principal male (or female) character in a vampire, zombie, or science fiction movie
b : the central figure of a porno
3
:sammich
4
: teacher who has not yet been caught farking their students

Examples of HERO
He returned from the war and found his friend who stayed home and worked at McDonald's was a hero.
the hero of freestyle bong smoking
She was a hero for standing up to the grocer for selling her a bag of prewashed salad with a bug in.
His father's stock broker has always been his hero.
He has always been a hero to the kids on his ice cream truck's route.
A motto of his hero, The Dude, is inscribed on a favorite sweatshirt : "Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here." -anon. Farker, any time, any place.

Give it a rest.
 
2013-04-09 09:50:43 AM

kumanoki: Girls seem to be much more well-behaved than boys, for some reason.


Thats because boys turn into spastic assholes from the age of 4 to 16 when they start to mellow out. Girls on the other start off sane and get crazier and crazier as the years go by until they hit critical mass at 16.
 
2013-04-09 09:51:29 AM

Missicat: GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.

Fortunately I can pay for my own hospice/nursing home care....also, do parents really have kids just so they can have someone to take care of them when they get old? What if your kids have children of their own? Pretty selfish attitude...


This.  I opted not to give birth to my own waitstaff.    I can afford hospice because I didn't blow a million outfitting a mini me.
 
2013-04-09 09:51:40 AM
Carn:

FTA: That's why we go out, dumbass. We just paid $7 plus (a very generous) tip for a crappy grilled cheese sandwich so we wouldn't have to deal with that mess.

The person who wrote that should have her head smashed in with a ball-peen hammer.


This.  Unless you're in a Chuck E. Cheese or copycat thereof, waitstaff aren't paid to clean up the crap your kids spread on the floors, walls, and wherever else.
 
2013-04-09 09:51:41 AM
Please, human children are no less or more annoying than human adults.
 
2013-04-09 09:51:43 AM

Sharksfan: Mandatory CSB - once we were out at our local family bar and pub.  We were nearly done when a family walked in and sat down next to us.  Their kids were hellions and they kept getting yelled at.  My wife glanced over at their mom and said "here, you can have these, we are done with them" and gave her a couple of our coloring books and a small box of crayons.

Hellion children immediately changed into normal quiet kids - because they had something to do.


All hail Mrs. Sharksfan, sublime game-changer of troublesome situations.

/not sarcastic
//very appreciative
 
2013-04-09 09:51:44 AM

bluenote13: This whole article smacks of a woman who had kids too early and is pissed off that her friends got to enjoy their 20's while she was pregnant and could not. One of the things I have noticed with my friends is that the ones who got married younger and had kids right away after getting married are the ones like this woman, who complain about the single friends, or childless couples. While two friends who got married in their early 30's and waited a couple years to have kids were able to adjust much faster because they were established in their lives and careers.


The whole article is based on the premise that any of her behavior is reasonable because it's necessary.  She's completely overlooking the option that a lot of the people who are judging her are actually excellent with kids, have kids of their own or regularly provide childcare to close relatives, and are judging her for being that overwhelmed and overworked by the mess and noise her children create because she's actually doing things that are known to be ineffective.

I'll grant her that family restaurants are family restaurants.  However, there's a difference between a happy, but piercingly loud child, like my nephew occasionally is, and a surly angry bored child determined to be the center of attention and used to manipulating adults through volume, because they know they'll be bribed for compliance and never actually punished if they make a big enough scene.
 
2013-04-09 09:52:10 AM
I never understood the general biatching about other people having the *gall* to post or talk about things that you don't find interesting.
Sure, if they trap you with an extended conversation about their own interests, they're a dick.  But that's completely unrelated to what the interest is.

And if they're posting it online... why not just ignore it?  How hard is that?
 
2013-04-09 09:52:31 AM
Well, Dustin is definitely menstrual, whether he's a she or she's a he.
 
2013-04-09 09:52:40 AM

Ebenator: What I can't stand are the goddam parents who expect everyone to treat their children as if they're the center of the universe.


This is complicated. The simplest way to explain it would be that human instincts make us severely defensive of our children. We secretly despise when other adults, even new spouses (that aren't the biological parent), scold or disrespect our kids if it's not 110% warranted. That's my turf, and I'll handle it. Which is why most homes with a step-parent have obvious favoritism. The biological offspring are always better treated by the true parent. You can't banish it, though you can pretend to fight it. It's nature. And deniers are full of shiat.
 
2013-04-09 09:52:42 AM

Crewmannumber6: neversubmit: It's not that you aren't a breeder, it's that you are an asshole.

FTFY
Choosing to live your life wrapped in self absorption doesn't make you a better person.


Spending 20-30 years producing a self-replicating swarm of mini-mes is about the most self-absorbed act humanly possible.
 
2013-04-09 09:53:07 AM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

Yowsa!
 
2013-04-09 09:53:19 AM
Childless person here.  So happy so see what wasn't on that list was my biggest problem with parents: "Can't come to work, kid problems."  Sucks the most when you are in a job where you can't leave until the next person shows up to relieve you and they call in because of their kid.  Happened to me a couple times when I worked security.  There had to be a minimum of one person on the weekends and my weekend relief was real bad with calling in because of her kids.  Spent many Saturdays working 20 hours, off for four, and back for hopefully just 12 hours.  Sorry parents, single or not, the moment your kids needs (illness, closed day cares, whatever) bleed over into your work and force your coworkers to do extra to meet your deadlines or cause us to work more hours we get to speak up.
 
2013-04-09 09:53:38 AM
#2 strikes really close to home with me.

For one thing, I don't go to "family restaurants" I go to nice restaurants and pubs. But I still see your bratty little kid making a goddamned mess of everything and screaming and running around. I choose to go to the places I go specifically so I don't have to deal with this kind of shiat.

As for #2a:

I spent many years as an executive chef at a high-end gastro pub. The only reason I offered a children's menu was because we'd invariably have someone new to the place think that because it was Irish, it was going to be like "Slappy McShenanigans" with all types of crap on the walls and the same tired "family restaurant" food that the chains serve. Sure, there was a menu posted in the goblin box by the front door listing the various items like our huntsman's mixed grille with elk chops, quail, and wild boar sausage, but when you're dealing with your screaming brat that doesn't want to sit in their stroller anymore, you can hardly be blamed for not reading the farking menu before coming in. My kids meals were NICE. Grilled 6oz NY strip or grilled chicken breast with mushroom demi, sauteed green beans, and macaroni and cheese or champ potatoes and they sold for $10. I kept a grilled cheese on there for $6 for the misguided wanderers. The reason I had my grilled cheese at $6? Because I didn't want your farking brats in my restaurant, screaming and raising hell, wasting my saute cook's time, making food for you because you couldn't be bothered to read the farking menu or look around before coming in and taking up the seats that I could be selling $30 filets and elk chops to.
 
2013-04-09 09:54:17 AM

bluenote13: This whole article smacks of a woman who had kids too early and is pissed off that her friends got to enjoy their 20's while she was pregnant and could not.  One of the things I have noticed with my friends is that the ones who got married younger and had kids right away after getting married are the ones like this woman, who complain about the single friends, or childless couples.  While two friends who got married in their early 30's and waited a couple years to have kids were able to adjust much faster because they were established in their lives and careers.



There are a couple of gems in that woman's diatribe, but I've found that 'older' parents (people who waited into their 30's for whatever reason) seem to be able to handle the stress of child rearing better. My wife and I had our son when I was 34. Sure, I miss going out with the guys on occasion, but it's not a burning need for me to party until 3am anymore.

Our childless friends are usually in their thirties and have an understanding of our lives work. We get together, dinner nights and such, usually after the boy is in bed, or we take turns going out to social events. It's doable.
 
2013-04-09 09:54:52 AM

FarkinNortherner: If I hear one more non-breeder complain about a parents failure to "control their kid" based on that one shiatty little brat they saw throwing a tantrum in the middle of Wal-Mart, I'm going to go apoplectic. For every tantrum-throwing little sh*t, there are 300 well-adjusted children who don't have to be removed from a situation, and yet it is this complaint that is most often cited.

Non sequitur much? We aren't complaining about the children who aren't throwing a tantrum.

/non-parent
//active godisafairytalefather to 6 year old


Wow, this one kid sure does get around.

If your kid is not a spoiled turd and is throwing a tantrum in the middle of Walmart, it's probably because YOU  dragged a kid who was tired and cranky or not feeling well and probably missed his nap into Walmart.

/99% of the time I suspect it is the latter.
//When I'm tired and cranky I want to throw a tantrum in Walmart.
 
2013-04-09 09:54:55 AM

JPSimonetti: First off, this is not sarcasm ... Using fear as a tactic to keep kids in line is absolutely a great way to get them to pull it together in public. I use that card with my 9 year old a few times a month. A very sharp glare and pointed finger is all it takes for him to straighten up, and it doesn't cause a scene. He knows what's coming next. It is that fear that makes him straighten up. It was that fear that kept ME in line as a kid. It works, and it's more humane than constant beatings. (my father and I have a great relationship these days. it did no harm). As you said, follow through is the key. You can't verbally get a kid in line unless they know you WILL take it a step further if they don't. Otherwise, they'll ignore you. The whole thing is really common sense and I don't see how so many parents miss the "follow through" part.


I'll buy that.  Every kid is different, you just need to know what they require to let them know when they've exceeded their acceptable boundaries.

I also was whupped when I was a kid, and turned out ok, and have a good relationship with my parents.... but I don't think they needed to go to that level to get me to comply when I was a kid.  But hey, they were dealing with 30 year old pedagogy so who am I to judge.  I like to think I'm more enlightened... but maybe I'm just a sacntimonious douche bag.  That's a whole other thread though.  :D
 
2013-04-09 09:55:46 AM

jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/


On a bad day - that;s about par for the course with a 2 year old. That's the age when they can ask you for things, and you can tell them things, and they are learning what the word "no" means. As in - does no mean no or can I change that by crying.

It gets better around 3 1/2 because then they understand when you really mean it, and also you can threaten and bribe them and they will understand it.

/ Has 6 year old and 3 year old twins.
 
2013-04-09 09:55:54 AM

Hobo Jr.: Please, human children are no less or more annoying than human adults.


I'm WAAAAAAY more annoying than any kid. Years of experience FTW!
 
2013-04-09 09:56:13 AM

jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/


It's perfectly normal for that age to experiment with emotional and social response to stimuli. A child that age is about as smart as a Jack Russell terrier, but the key is that he is getting smarter by the day. There's a very wide range of intellectual and emotional response we have to learn to produce that we think of as unconscious reactions, but are really very high-order learned behavior. Some kids default to crying, some to hitting, some to laughing or screaming, some to other types of reactions. For all we know he's crying in happiness .He'll be out of this stage in another 6 months as his repertoire and range of response and social understanding grows.  It's really, really important to remember that, especially with small children, that you are not dealing with a miniature adult. You are dealing with a very complex, very fast-changing human brian that is not filled with the baggage we pack along as adults, and children do not at all see the world as we do.

Also, bear in mind that you're seeing a few minutes, at most, out of 14 hours in a day, which I bet are far more normal than this blog link would suggest. It's bathetic and droll, but please don't read too much into it- the page of photos was created for artistic effect, I'm sure its not representative of the child's normal life.
 
2013-04-09 09:56:25 AM

PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Funny. "Breeder" was originally a word gays coined as a derogatory term for heterosexuals. Or, at least , the more vocal ones, for whom being gay was all about promiscuity and rejection of "family values". Then we saw a profound change in the landscape, whereby homosexuality was increasingly accepted. Suddenly, being gay had to become more mainstream, and the Latex Nuns on Rollerskates gave way to committed gay couples. The ones who faced a struggled to redefine homosexuality as something different from the hedonistic lifestyle being gay was associated with, but as a different take on lifelong commitment and raising a family. The term "Breeder" became a liability because it harkened back to the earlier mindset.
 
2013-04-09 09:56:30 AM
As a parent and someone who's wife has worked in daycares and reading programs for precshool-middle school aged kids, this woman is the worst kind of parent.

She feels that because she has popped out a kid she has the right to talk down to anyone who has not had a kid.

My kids were always well behaved when we went out to eat or we left. After we left eating out the second time both my kids got what respect to others were. We clean up after ourselves when we leave tables and tip well because we know that kids are messy.

This woman is just straight up bitter.

Doesn't anyone else find it funny she is using a term that the homosexual culture uses as a derogatory term for straight people, breeders, non-breeders. Just using this term shows he complete and utter disregard for those that have no kids. She is just self-righteous because she had a kid.

/control your kid in public.
//or go home and let them shiatheads.
///Bad parent is bad.
 
2013-04-09 09:56:45 AM
would you like some cheese with that whine?
 
2013-04-09 09:56:49 AM

namegoeshere: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: If I go to Applebee's or The Cracker Barrel and there's some kid screaming his head off two tables over then I shrug and accept it.   You expect to see that kind of thing in a family restaurant.  But if I'm at a nicer resteraunt then I get real annoyed, real quick with screaming toddlers.

That's the problem right there. Hell no you shouldn't expect to see it. The parent should leave with the child if the child can't handle eating there. "But I paid for this farking grilled cheese..." Tough shiat. Teaching your child to behave in public should be worth more than a lousy grilled cheese sandwich.

/parent


I should say, the one exception to this is Chuck E Cheese. Fark that place. Let 'em scream.
 
2013-04-09 09:57:02 AM
1. Kid running all over the place.....unmonitored in store...
2. Casually walk by and stick out your foot.
3. Kid Faceplants and is in TEARS, usually screaming "MOMMY!!!!!!"
4. Quickly exit area, walk to other isle and continue shopping.
5. PROFIT
 
2013-04-09 09:57:04 AM

TomD9938: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Dead-Ender?



I prefer to call myself a "stump".
 
2013-04-09 09:57:34 AM
Worlds are colliding, I need to keep my sites separate.
 
2013-04-09 09:57:37 AM

jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/


The answer is simple. Put him in a corner on a stool and let him cry. If he's still crying when he stands up, swat him and put him back on the stool. If he turns around and he's still crying, swat him and turn him to the corner. It won't take him long to learn. My oldest Grandson started crying once because I wasn't fixing his peanut butter sandwich quickly enough. One loud "bark" from Grandpa stopped that. He never tried it a second time.
 
2013-04-09 09:58:08 AM
She makes a point about restaurants. We only ever frequent family restaurants with our little one, and only ever before 6pm. If you really have to broadcast your panty-twistedness over not being able to hear yourself think at 5:00pm on a Saturday at Chili's, then friend, you've got much bigger problems than your precious little snowflake eardrums.
 
2013-04-09 09:58:32 AM
Articles like this all read the same.  They're taking a pisspoor crack at channelling the thin ghosts of 1970's Erma Bombeck paperbacks.
 
2013-04-09 09:59:13 AM
WOW people compalin about the dumbest shiat.

Parents Post Too Many Photos of Their Children on Their Facebook Walls  - unsubscribe to their feed then idiot.  Trust me, you wont miss anything.

Control Your Children in Restaurants - Annoying shiat is happening around you everyday, learn to block out distractions.  What, you're still listening to your S/Os nagging?

I Get Irritated When Parents Blabber on about Being So Busy - If someone is "blabbering on" about shiat you're not interested in, excuse yourself from the conversation.  Take a fake phone call, claim you forgot to pick up your brother from psychotherapy, whatever it takes.

I Don't Like When Spouses Start to Call Each Other "Mommy" and "Daddy." That's Just Creepy. - Then cut off all ties to those creapy farks!!

/Childless
//Played "step dad" to a four year old for one year.  Glad that shiat's over.
///Ya, ya, I'm sure it's different when the little farker is your own.
 
2013-04-09 09:59:27 AM

JPSimonetti: First off, this is not sarcasm ... Using fear as a tactic to keep kids in line is absolutely a great way to get them to pull it together in public. I use that card with my 9 year old a few times a month. A very sharp glare and pointed finger is all it takes for him to straighten up, and it doesn't cause a scene. He knows what's coming next. It is that fear that makes him straighten up. It was that fear that kept ME in line as a kid. It works, and it's more humane than constant beatings. (my father and I have a great relationship these days. it did ...


As a parent, I've found that fear is not as potent as guilt. Fear puts the onus on the parent, guilt puts the onus on the child. That may sound terrible, but fear only works up the point that people realize they have nothing to lose. Guilt will keep a person locked down indefinitely.
 
2013-04-09 09:59:29 AM
Hey now, children are the future. Specifically, the future strippers who will lap dance for me in 20 years.
 
2013-04-09 09:59:29 AM
As a parent of 6 kids (hers mine and ours) ranging form 8 to 28, the article is dead on.   Like it or not.
 
2013-04-09 10:00:00 AM

Lexx: The mommy blogger happens to be right about one thing: yeah, narcissists shouldn't complain that other narcissists are self-aggrandizing narcissists. At the same time, I thank the high heavens that facebook allows me to filter out status updates from select individuals. I have no interest, whatsoever, in your experience as a parent.


The bigger question though is why anybody anywhere gives a shiat about what other people do on Facebook. If you don't like something don't read it, if you care enough block their posts (like you said) or un-friend them. If they ask you why you un-friended them, explain that their constant stream of [insert what annoys you here] was annoying to you.  There is absolutely no reason why anybody should be upset at another human being because they won't be their Facebook friend. If your friend throws a fit about being un-friended and no longer wants to associate with you then nothing of value was lost.
 
2013-04-09 10:00:21 AM
Have you ever considered just sitting down with your children, and simply hitting them?
 
2013-04-09 10:00:28 AM

Missicat: Am I the only one who laughed my (child-free) a** off after reading this?  Seriously lady, switch to decaf.


This.
 
2013-04-09 10:01:03 AM

Marcus Aurelius: How about this: if you've never raised a child, STFU.


How about this no. I will piss biatch and moan about your undisciplined  uneducated, unintelligent, ugly little bastards until they grow up and are old enough to suck my cock. Then I will spank one out to their nasty girls gone wild pictures and videos they post to Reddit or Facebook.
 
2013-04-09 10:02:00 AM

The One True TheDavid: On a planet with 7+ billion humans eating, chopping, burning, digging, killing and polluting the shiat out of everything, far more people need to Just. Stop. Breeding. Just say NO to reproduction. What are the chances YOUR genes are so much more wonderful than a few dozen million people Just Like You? Do you really need that second kid, and did you really need the first?

And hey, if you can't figure out how to avoid causing childbirth you should be sterilized by force: it's possible for stupid parents to have & raise nonstupid kids but you'd have a better chance on a trifecta at the Derby.

If you think that's harsh, here's another: people who've never seriously considered suicide are just too thick to be worth much. But more on that later.


Remember Family is three, Mom, Dad and me. Report Breeder offenders to the population police.
 
2013-04-09 10:02:13 AM

Guairdean: jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/

The answer is simple. Put him in a corner on a stool and let him cry. If he's still crying when he stands up, swat him and put him back on the stool. If he turns around and he's still crying, swat him and turn him to the corner. It won't take him long to learn.


At this age (2-3) that is not appropriate. That is frank emotional abuse and should be avoided as a parenting technic. You need to wait until the child is capable of reasonably and clearly expressing himself, and can carry on a meaningful conversation about the topic at hand- usually that's 4 or 5 years old. At that point is is appropriate to be corrective; younger than that and it's abusive.
 
2013-04-09 10:02:32 AM

maxx2112: FTFA:  2.Control Your Children in Restaurants - Look, if you see a kid at a restaurant, more times than not, it's because you've chosen to go to a "family" restaurant, and "family" often means loud-mouthed litte (sic) brats.

9.What Really Annoys Me Is When Parents Yell at their Kids But Never Get Out of Their Chair and Deal with the Kid - Well, how are we supposed to "deal with it"? We yelled at the kid, didn't we?


biatch, please.  Your parents would have handled this shiat.  Why can't you?


/ When I was a kid, a "time out" meant my dad took time out of his busy day to whip my ass.


Ah simpler times. Now instead of being able to correct a child right away you gotta argue and converse with a small child that most likely doesnt understand what your talking about anyways. For the hours of yelling and crying and biatching it causes, in the end its probably easier on both child and parent to just smack the kid already.

nope it makes you a criminal now. So people got the bright idea to use chores as punishment. Now youve got childeren that are actually afraid to work, like its some kinda punishment.

Sometimes a backhand is the easiest most effective solution.
 
2013-04-09 10:02:45 AM

Slaves2Darkness: Marcus Aurelius: How about this: if you've never raised a child, STFU.

How about this no. I will piss biatch and moan about your undisciplined  uneducated, unintelligent, ugly little bastards until they grow up and are old enough to suck my cock. Then I will spank one out to their nasty girls gone wild pictures and videos they post to Reddit or Facebook.


I can't decide if I should collapse in laughter or recoil in horror.  You sir, are a King amongst men.
 
2013-04-09 10:03:06 AM

equusdc: Crewmannumber6: neversubmit: It's not that you aren't a breeder, it's that you are an asshole.

FTFY
Choosing to live your life wrapped in self absorption doesn't make you a better person.

Spending 20-30 years producing a self-replicating swarm of mini-mes is about the most self-absorbed act humanly possible.


Not really it's just going with the flow of biological urges and societal pressure, they did what they were told.
 
2013-04-09 10:03:07 AM
1. Fair enough point.
2. Complete and utter bullshiat. Plenty of parents teach their kids to behave in public just fine - that's called parenting. No one complains about those kids and those parents.
2a. More bullshiat.
3. No one without kids complains about this ever, except apparently in the author's imagination.
4. Bullshiat. Not having shared in the totality of the experience doesn't mean you can't understand when someone is failing in a basic duty as a parent. See #2, and parents who have utterly failed to provide any effective discipline for their children. You don't have to have raised a bunch of kids to understand that discipline, food and clothing are necessary for a kid.
5. Started out with something which could have been an arguable point and then utterly botched it.
6. Bullshiat. Many, maybe even most, parents ARE very busy, but this one just described the life of someone who doesn't realize how privledged they are. Case in point - most people don't get to work for "sites". Most people have these things called jobs where a "site" is the place they have to drive to and sit in all day when they work.
7. Seems like more of the author's complaint about their own life then anyone else's.
8. Total bullshiat. Sounds like their own personal hangup they are projecting on to others. Why would I think it was weird a mom was now called a mom or a dad was now called a dad? That's just stupid.
9. A bunch of bullshiat excuses from someone who increasingly sounds like a lazy, disengaged parent. Hey author: If your kid knows that you are willing to get out of that chair then they will listen better and you won't have to get out of it as much. But the kids aren't totally stupid... if they know you largely use empty threats when they misbehave you will have TAUGHT them how to misbehave and get away with it.
10. Again, sounds like more projection.
 
2013-04-09 10:03:11 AM

servlet: Congratulations, you've mastered one of the most basic biological processes. Pardon me while I stop the world to celebrate how amazing you are because you figured out how to procreate.

I mean, I like kids and all, but can we seriously stop this ridiculous sense of superiority that some (admittedly not most) parents have just because they worked out how to produce offspring?


Hey now, it's not just the ability to procreate they are celebrating, it's the obvious fact that they've gotten their shiat together to support the kid.  The ability to get up in the morning on time, the ability to keep a steady job, the ability to stay sober and clean, the ability to (most likely) live in a real home, have a car, you know all the adult stuff that YOU should've been doing by now but you're still sitting in your underwear eating nachos and playing XBOX in your 30s nursing a hangover on a Tuesday night, you disappointing non-breeding slacker, you.

BTW please check out the new FB album of me and the kids making goofy faces, again.  We're having so much fun, please click Like whenever you get a tiny moment in your care free and responsibility free life to do so.
 
2013-04-09 10:03:49 AM

Arthen: Have you ever considered just sitting down with your children, and simply hitting them?


Believe me, I've given the boy a swat on the bottom once or twice, but I'm not into corporal punishment for every situation.
 
2013-04-09 10:04:14 AM

jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/


Little biatch. I know I'm going to sound like a sanctimonious twat, but my kids did not cry that much. Of course, my kids were that age 20+ years ago, so maybe I just don't remember. Of course, they are both still alive, so no, they didn't cry that much.
 
2013-04-09 10:05:34 AM
wow, 127 comments and no one has mentioned this blog article is a direct response to http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/  ?

Sad... because i visited that site and it's basically the exact same type of biatching that this blog is biatching about...

But keep calling the blogger a self entitled parent because you people hate children...
 
2013-04-09 10:05:36 AM

willfullyobscure: It's really, really important to remember that, especially with small children, that you are not dealing with a miniature adult.


While true, people give this way more power than they should.  In many ways, a huge part of the problem is people forget you ARE dealing with a miniature human, just not a miniature adult.  You're just dealing with a human that is acting almost entirely on hormones and has not yet learned that overriding hormones leads to positive results.  The problem people tend to forget is biologically, children are still miniature humans.  Sleep, food choices, exercise, it's just harder to convince a child what needs to be done and to encourage them to do the right thing when the right thing is unpleasant.  Too many parents let the child do what they prefer to do, act like it's "just how kids are", and then act shocked when their child exhibits entirely predictable behavior, behavior that's reinforced into subconscious reflex through repetition.

Your child is crying all the time because he's either unhealthy, in pain, or you've trained him to do that by reinforcing that hormone response.
 
2013-04-09 10:06:11 AM

kumanoki: bluenote13: This whole article smacks of a woman who had kids too early and is pissed off that her friends got to enjoy their 20's while she was pregnant and could not.  One of the things I have noticed with my friends is that the ones who got married younger and had kids right away after getting married are the ones like this woman, who complain about the single friends, or childless couples.  While two friends who got married in their early 30's and waited a couple years to have kids were able to adjust much faster because they were established in their lives and careers.


There are a couple of gems in that woman's diatribe, but I've found that 'older' parents (people who waited into their 30's for whatever reason) seem to be able to handle the stress of child rearing better. My wife and I had our son when I was 34. Sure, I miss going out with the guys on occasion, but it's not a burning need for me to party until 3am anymore.

Our childless friends are usually in their thirties and have an understanding of our lives work. We get together, dinner nights and such, usually after the boy is in bed, or we take turns going out to social events. It's doable.


My wife and I got married at 19, I am a proud step-father of the son she had when she was 17. When we got married we understood that the beginning of our marriage was going to be taken up with child rearing. We had a second child. They are both in their late teens now. We expect them to be out of the house in college in the next few years, and then we can enjoy time to ourselves and we can help our kids out with what they need.

The idea that having kids later in life can somehow make someone a better parent is false. It really boils down to if you want kids or not.

The woman in this article sounds like she regrets having kids. She doesn't sound like someone I would want to watch my children as anyone that attacks others about child rearing in such an abrasive manner really needs to get a grip on themselves and their children.

Raising kids is hard. People are assholes when your kids act up. If you react with grace and understanding your kids will see how you acted and try to follow suit. If you run around acting like an entitled asshat every time someone comments on your kid being noisy your kids are going to grow up just like you. Now, ask yourself if he kids are self entitled, where do you think they got that from?
 
2013-04-09 10:06:33 AM
Ignoring the subject matter, that is a very poorly written piece. She changes back and forth in person and voice, and the only organization apparent is in the numbering on the list. I would not give this a passing grade as a high school essay, let alone publish it.
 
2013-04-09 10:06:48 AM

Marcus Aurelius: How about this: if you've never raised a child, STFU.


How about this, I pay taxes for your child's welfare and eductation you STFU!
 
2013-04-09 10:07:03 AM

Slaves2Darkness: How about this no. I will piss biatch and moan about your undisciplined uneducated, unintelligent, ugly little bastards until they grow up and are old enough to suck my cock. Then I will spank one out to their nasty girls gone wild pictures and videos they post to Reddit or Facebook.


So highschool then

...yes I'll have a seat over there
 
2013-04-09 10:07:20 AM

angryjd: Missicat: Am I the only one who laughed my (child-free) a** off after reading this?  Seriously lady, switch to decaf.

This.


As a parent of three children, I can honestly say that you can kindly share that popcorn with me, please.

Article's author is the snarling parent that most parents hate and actively avoid as much as possible and it makes my child-rearing heart glad to see her exposed to the world for the short-tempered resent-filled freak show who's going to end up causing her kids massive issues by the time they escape home at the age of 15 or so.

Not a single one of her complaints is valid in my eyes.  And yes, I've taken my kids home from a restaurant before for getting rowdy and they got white bread sammiches before bed time.

One time, I had to resort to swatting my kid on the ass when he refused to stop throwing a fit.  I got glares from 3 people and cheers from fifteen.  Deal with your goddamned brats, lady.
 
2013-04-09 10:08:31 AM
2013
not releasing your children into the woods to be raised by the beasts of the wild
tsk tsk
 
2013-04-09 10:10:17 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Apply to vagina.
 
2013-04-09 10:10:18 AM
Final comment: If you walk into a restaurant and there's a big container with boxes of 2-3 crayons on the hostess stand - don't expect perfect silence.

On the other hand, if you see a martini bar and no crayons, you're good to go.

If you see a martini bar AND crayons, please email me the address....
 
2013-04-09 10:10:30 AM

willfullyobscure: Guairdean: jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/

The answer is simple. Put him in a corner on a stool and let him cry. If he's still crying when he stands up, swat him and put him back on the stool. If he turns around and he's still crying, swat him and turn him to the corner. It won't take him long to learn.

At this age (2-3) that is not appropriate. That is frank emotional abuse and should be avoided as a parenting technic. You need to wait until the child is capable of reasonably and clearly expressing himself, and can carry on a meaningful conversation about the topic at hand- usually that's 4 or 5 years old. At that point is is appropriate to be corrective; younger than that and it's abusive.


A  child at that age is perfectly capable of understanding the word "No", and that there are consequences for bad behavior. Failing to teach a child how to behave is abusive.
 
2013-04-09 10:11:27 AM
The article writer lost all credibility at the end of item 3.
 
2013-04-09 10:11:48 AM
I've come to the conclusion that there are people with kids who are dickheads, and there are people without kids who are dickheads.
 
2013-04-09 10:12:02 AM

IrishBlunder: Carn:

FTA: That's why we go out, dumbass. We just paid $7 plus (a very generous) tip for a crappy grilled cheese sandwich so we wouldn't have to deal with that mess.

The person who wrote that should have her head smashed in with a ball-peen hammer.

This.  Unless you're in a Chuck E. Cheese or copycat thereof, waitstaff aren't paid to clean up the crap your kids spread on the floors, walls, and wherever else.


Exactly (and I even cleaned my kid's shiat up at Chuck E. Cheese).  And you leave a good tip for the waiter.
 
2013-04-09 10:12:25 AM

CeroX: wow, 127 comments and no one has mentioned this blog article is a direct response to http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/  ?

Sad... because i visited that site and it's basically the exact same type of biatching that this blog is biatching about...

But keep calling the blogger a self entitled parent because you people hate children...


BINGO!!

Thanks for the "you hate children"; that was my center square!
 
2013-04-09 10:12:47 AM

bopis: Marcus Aurelius: How about this: if you've never raised a child, STFU.

How about this, I pay taxes for your child's welfare and education you STFU!


Harris-Perry  fixed
 
2013-04-09 10:13:02 AM
#9 is actually pretty funny. I complain to my wife all the time that I don't have any discipline techniques that work.
 
2013-04-09 10:13:33 AM

Guairdean: A child at that age is perfectly capable of understanding the word "No", and that there are consequences for bad behavior. Failing to teach a child how to behave is abusive.


Do you ever feel like sometimes the people who feel like there's hard and fast lines about when it's reasonable to expect something from a child just had dumb children, or were so inconsistent with their own behavior that they couldn't express basic concepts to their children.  Some people seriously seem to suggest you can't reason with children that are older than the age I taught myself to read.
 
2013-04-09 10:14:08 AM

The One True TheDavid: On a planet with 7+ billion humans eating, chopping, burning, digging, killing and polluting the shiat out of everything, far more people need to Just. Stop. Breeding. Just say NO to reproduction. What are the chances YOUR genes are so much more wonderful than a few dozen million people Just Like You? Do you really need that second kid, and did you really need the first?

And hey, if you can't figure out how to avoid causing childbirth you should be sterilized by force: it's possible for stupid parents to have & raise nonstupid kids but you'd have a better chance on a trifecta at the Derby.

If you think that's harsh, here's another: people who've never seriously considered suicide are just too thick to be worth much. But more on that later.


10/10, you'll piss off a ton of people
 
2013-04-09 10:14:45 AM
So, if you want to avoid us, go to a nicer damn restaurant or go after the kid's bedtime.

I've done both, and the shiatty parents* a) Don't care about their kids bedtimes and b) Don't care about their kids, so they'll eat wherever they want.

*shiatty parents being the ones that have done a shiatty job raising kids. Most parents I know are great parents.
 
2013-04-09 10:15:20 AM
Who greenlit this shiat?

/Time to give the HERO tag a mercy killing.
 
2013-04-09 10:15:59 AM
MycroftHolmes:

This list was about as fair and objective as most anti-parent rants.  I have no problem with it.

I have no problem with those. An unfair and subjective rant never ripped the shiat out of a mountain ridge to power a household with four kids and seven TVs.


Was the blogger a little vitriolic, sure, but that is probably a reaction to a lot of the 'I shouldn't have to be slightly inconvenienced for your decision to breed' self centered attitude that is so prevalent.

"Slightly inconvenienced!?!" You think 7+ billion hungry mouths is only a slight inconvenience? Maybe you're not aware that even physicists who are SciFi fans agree that colonizing other worlds when we've totally farked up this one is at least "two Powerballs in one week" unlikely. (This is for you too, MycroftHolmes.)

It's insisting on breeding that's the self-centered attitude.

If you want to be altruistic try raising an orphan instead, especially one whose pigmentation is not just like yours*. Share your wonderfulness with those who need it most. And this goes for gays and/or single people too: if you look at the families around you and think you could do a better job you might as well have at it. (This ain't something I'm suited for, obviously: the world ain't ready for any kid I'd raise instead of having for lunch.)

Okay? Okay.

* By "you" here I don't mean MycroftHolmes or indeed any particular individual, it'd just that addressing "one" gets too stilted too quickly and even most Americans below the Mason-Dixon line don't realize "y'all" is plural.
 
2013-04-09 10:16:52 AM
I think most of the problems would be solved if kids under 12 were kept in a crate when in public. FTFY
 
2013-04-09 10:17:54 AM

jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/


The actual answer to all of those is "I'm taking his picture instead of parenting so I can try to look cool on the Internet".
 
2013-04-09 10:18:25 AM
Mommy blogs.
Serious business.
STFU breeders.
The noise of you unparented children is deafening enough.
 
2013-04-09 10:19:40 AM

Mr Guy: Guairdean: A child at that age is perfectly capable of understanding the word "No", and that there are consequences for bad behavior. Failing to teach a child how to behave is abusive.

Do you ever feel like sometimes the people who feel like there's hard and fast lines about when it's reasonable to expect something from a child just had dumb children, or were so inconsistent with their own behavior that they couldn't express basic concepts to their children.  Some people seriously seem to suggest you can't reason with children that are older than the age I taught myself to read.


It's been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his Brief History of Time from your fourth-grade paper?
 
2013-04-09 10:20:21 AM
Hero tag?  Really?  The dude didn't manage to make a valid point through the entire list! All he did was turn around and throw each point in our faces.  I post too many pictures of my kids online? YOU post too many pictures! My kid is loud and messy in a restaurant? Well, that's why I came here, so I could be inconsiderate!  You don't understand!

That whole thing came off as one big whiny, entitled, blame projecting mess.  What a donkus.
 
2013-04-09 10:20:42 AM
imgs.xkcd.com

//Just got back from a week vacation in Vancouver. Thank you expensive health plan and the $30 co pay for my vasectomy!
 
2013-04-09 10:20:59 AM
I have no kids, but at my age I'm not so much a "non-breeder" as mother-farker.
 
2013-04-09 10:21:54 AM

Mercutio74: I also was whupped when I was a kid, and turned out ok, and have a good relationship with my parents.... but I don't think they needed to go to that level to get me to comply when I was a kid.


I was a bad seed. Lots of spanking. Constantly getting suspended from school for just being a class clown. Never any issues with drugs/alcohol/the law, I was just rough around the edges. But spankings never made me pause and consider my misbehavior before doing it. Spankings were nothingl to me after I was 8 or 9. As you say, all kids are different. On my son, I use pinches on the backs of his knees. Quick, discrete, doesn't leave a mark, no 'violent' motion involved. Most importantly, it works ... But it wouldn't have worked on me. The punishment has to instill fear or it's pointless. They have to dread it. And that can be done 99% of the time without any pain if you get creative enough. The only reason I use pain on my son is he literally could not talk until he was 6 or 7. He didn't understand verbal threats or redirection. He doesn't read body language. That's just autism for you. I haven't pinched him in a long time since he can now take verbal cues and dirty looks, but he still fears that a pinch will come next if he doesn't comply. Last time he pushed me, he lost his iPad for a week. But I don't think he understood the cause/effect. Need to find something new that works ...
 
2013-04-09 10:22:25 AM
I don't have any kids. I hate seeing other people's pictures and videos of kids because they don't realise that no one cares. (I'll check out a cool/cute pet picture though. Who doesn't love puppies?). I don't even want to hold other people's kids. They squirm and shift around too much. But I do have dogs. I think if I did have kids, I'd do quite well with my dog training experience.

Little bastard want to act up? I'll quickly grab him, roll him onto his back, put my face about 1 inch from his and say "NO". Tries to climb up the dresser? Spray him with the water bottle. Runs around all crazy, I'll park him on his butt and say "Sit". Takes toys from other children, and into the baby crate he goes.
 
2013-04-09 10:22:56 AM

silo123j: That is why I take my kids to paper napkin restaurants. Cloth napkin is for us sans children. I hit the Mexican restaurant and the precious 2 yr old is usually out of her seat midway through the meal. (this is why she is strapped down at home...) but she throws a fit if we try the "highchair" with the strap. You want to see a fit? I don't want to. So IF I make the choice to go out (which isn't that often) I try to keep her occupied with something at the table. It only works for so long, and I refuse to let her be electronically entertained. The 6 year old does that.


I to only hit the paper napkin restaurants.  My kid is almost 3 so he is getting better and better.  Just after her turned 2, he was sometimes hell.  I don't let him get loud.  And if he tries to get out of his seat more than once, he gets time out.  How?  I take him out to the care and time-out him behind the seat.  I haven't had to do this in a while.  Now, if he starts to be loud whine or whatever, I just talk sternly and softly to him and tell him what the consequences will be if he keeps his shiat up.  That usually does the trick.

A couple of months after he turned 2, we had to go to a "cloth napkin" restaurant.  My mother in-law was having a birthday dinner and wanted to see her youngest grandkid.  My kid didn't get his nap so he was instantly hell.  I spent 3/4 of the time in the restaurant (and it was a really long time) outside or in the foyer.

No, I don't get to enjoy a restaurant meal that often but I am not going to ignore a whiny, crying kid just so I can enjoy a sit down dinner/lunch at the expense of many others around me.
 
2013-04-09 10:23:31 AM

someonelse: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Think about why you assumed the author was female. Then feel bad about yourself.


Because the headline said s/he was?
 
2013-04-09 10:23:33 AM

fo_sho!: jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/

On a bad day - that;s about par for the course with a 2 year old. That's the age when they can ask you for things, and you can tell them things, and they are learning what the word "no" means. As in - does no mean no or can I change that by crying.

It gets better around 3 1/2 because then they understand when you really mean it, and also you can threaten and bribe them and they will understand it.

/ Has 6 year old and 3 year old twins.


Twins that are 6 and 3? Aw, jeeze and mom said 9 hours of labor was bad.
 
2013-04-09 10:26:05 AM
I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents -

And then the pretentiousness twat goes on to write that people without children don't understand that your dimwitted booger muncher of a snowlfake is misbehaved because they have a mouth breather for a parent.
 
2013-04-09 10:26:22 AM

soia: I wonder if people truly understand how unimportant we really are in the grand scheme of things.


So kill yourself and be done with it.
 
2013-04-09 10:26:44 AM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: If I go to Applebee's or The Cracker Barrel and there's some kid screaming his head off two tables over then I shrug and accept it.  You expect to see that kind of thing in a family restaurant.  But if I'm at a nicer resteraunt then I get real annoyed, real quick with screaming toddlers.


This.  If you are going to eat at a trough, don't complain about bumping into a few pigs.
 
2013-04-09 10:27:49 AM
There are idiots on both sides. I've seen idiot parents, and I've seen idiot childless people, and each side also has good representation as well.

I control my child, and do it well. No tantrums, no outrageous behavior - she knows it's not allowed - and because of that, she's generally very well behaved. If words are required or a scene starts, Outside We Go until it's over.  PS - she's also good on airplanes, but that doesn't stop people from giving us dirty looks when we bring her on the plane. Don't assume how anyone will act in any situation. Judge them all by their actions, not by what you THINK their actions might be.
 
2013-04-09 10:29:35 AM

Guairdean: At this age (2-3) that is not appropriate. That is frank emotional abuse and should be avoided as a parenting technic. You need to wait until the child is capable of reasonably and clearly expressing himself, and can carry on a meaningful conversation about the topic at hand- usually that's 4 or 5 years old. At that point is is appropriate to be corrective; younger than that and it's abusive.A  child at that age is perfectly capable of understanding the word "No", and that there are consequences for bad behavior. Failing to teach a child how to behave is abusive.


Of course they are, but they are not capable of advanced reasoning or knowing right from wrong anymore than a dog is. The key is knowing that they will grow up to know right from wrong. If all you tech them atthis age is that expressing themselves is greeted with a physical blow, they will be fearful and bunged up when they get older. Like teaching a dog not to bark by hitting it- you may get peace and quiet, but it makes for a miserable, screwed up animal. Teach it not to bark with a mix of rewards and consequences.

You don't need to beat a two year old. No one does.
 
2013-04-09 10:31:25 AM
Not that it matters, but Dustin is a dude's name. Article was not written by a "mom".
 
2013-04-09 10:32:31 AM
I was roughly with her (not that I have kids, but she made some sense) until she talked about repopulating the earth. There are more people living now than at any point in the past. We aren't REpopulating the earth, we're OVERpopulating the earth, you idiot.
 
2013-04-09 10:33:02 AM

neversubmit: It's not that you are a breeder, it's that you are an asshole.


Score!
 
2013-04-09 10:34:06 AM

willfullyobscure: Guairdean: At this age (2-3) that is not appropriate. That is frank emotional abuse and should be avoided as a parenting technic. You need to wait until the child is capable of reasonably and clearly expressing himself, and can carry on a meaningful conversation about the topic at hand- usually that's 4 or 5 years old. At that point is is appropriate to be corrective; younger than that and it's abusive.A  child at that age is perfectly capable of understanding the word "No", and that there are consequences for bad behavior. Failing to teach a child how to behave is abusive.

Of course they are, but they are not capable of advanced reasoning or knowing right from wrong anymore than a dog is. The key is knowing that they will grow up to know right from wrong. If all you tech them atthis age is that expressing themselves is greeted with a physical blow, they will be fearful and bunged up when they get older. Like teaching a dog not to bark by hitting it- you may get peace and quiet, but it makes for a miserable, screwed up animal. Teach it not to bark with a mix of rewards and consequences.

You don't need to beat a two year old. No one does.


People that can't tell the difference between a swat and a beating have serious emotional issues. Please get these straightened out before you start raising a child.
 
2013-04-09 10:34:33 AM

The Snow Dog: Not that it matters, but Dustin is a dude's name. Article was not written by a "mom".


Huh. Imagine that. Someone who actually looks at the byline.
 
2013-04-09 10:36:07 AM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Should we take away something? Because she's three, does she really have anything of value?

To her, yes.  This use to work fantastic on my daughter at that age.

<Kid situation>
Me:  You better stop what you're doing or I'm going to put one of your toys in time out.
Kid:  What are you gonna take?
Me:  What do you think I'm gonna take?
Kid: (GASP)  Not my Shamu!?!
Me:  Oh, you bet it's your Shamu.
</Kid situation>


Okay that gave me the giggles. I read the "Me" part in Bender's voice.
 
2013-04-09 10:36:28 AM

Weigard: Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets?

You should, my dog's way cuter than that ugly dollop of mayonnaise you call a baby.


Lol. My thought too, except I said "snot blob" instead...i like your mayo analogy better :).
 
2013-04-09 10:37:08 AM

ItsJustJake: There are idiots on both sides. I've seen idiot parents, and I've seen idiot childless people, and each side also has good representation as well.

I control my child, and do it well. No tantrums, no outrageous behavior - she knows it's not allowed - and because of that, she's generally very well behaved. If words are required or a scene starts, Outside We Go until it's over.  PS - she's also good on airplanes, but that doesn't stop people from giving us dirty looks when we bring her on the plane. Don't assume how anyone will act in any situation. Judge them all by their actions, not by what you THINK their actions might be.


A few months ago, my wife and my two-year old go into a seat-yourself cajun place sometime after the lunch rush.  There were plenty of open tables and we picked the one furthest away from anyone.  Not long after we order and get our drinks, this youngish (mid-20s) couple comes in and sits at a table directly adjacent to ours (even though there were plenty of other's available).  My wife adjusted some of the things in front of my son and he made a brief 1/2 second loud-ish whine about something she was moving and I immediately stopped it and corrected his behavior...quietly.  The girl at the adjacent table looks over, flashes this annoying look, then quietly says something to her boyfriend and they move to one of the many available tables further away.

Some people are douche bags no matter what.
 
2013-04-09 10:37:13 AM
FTFA: We can't spank them because you childless hippie liberals have taken that away from us.

Why am I not surprised that the author couldn't resist unnecessarily including her political affiliation in the article, as well as doing it in an intentionally offensive manner?
 
2013-04-09 10:40:18 AM

UberDave: ItsJustJake: There are idiots on both sides. I've seen idiot parents, and I've seen idiot childless people, and each side also has good representation as well.

I control my child, and do it well. No tantrums, no outrageous behavior - she knows it's not allowed - and because of that, she's generally very well behaved. If words are required or a scene starts, Outside We Go until it's over.  PS - she's also good on airplanes, but that doesn't stop people from giving us dirty looks when we bring her on the plane. Don't assume how anyone will act in any situation. Judge them all by their actions, not by what you THINK their actions might be.

A few months ago, my wife and my two-year old go into a seat-yourself cajun place sometime after the lunch rush.  There were plenty of open tables and we picked the one furthest away from anyone.  Not long after we order and get our drinks, this youngish (mid-20s) couple comes in and sits at a table directly adjacent to ours (even though there were plenty of other's available).  My wife adjusted some of the things in front of my son and he made a brief 1/2 second loud-ish whine about something she was moving and I immediately stopped it and corrected his behavior...quietly.  The girl at the adjacent table looks over, flashes this annoying look, then quietly says something to her boyfriend and they move to one of the many available tables further away.

Some people are douche bags no matter what.


I vastly prefer the company of 2 year olds, even ones that a little fussy, to mid 20 year olds.  By a large margin
 
2013-04-09 10:40:55 AM

I May Be Crazy But...: I was roughly with her (not that I have kids, but she made some sense) until she talked about repopulating the earth. There are more people living now than at any point in the past. We aren't REpopulating the earth, we're OVERpopulating the earth, you idiot.


i14.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-09 10:41:19 AM

jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/


Generally, any one of those situations is typical.  All of them at the same time is not.
 
2013-04-09 10:41:38 AM
So breeders want acknowledgement for all their hard work? OK, fine, here you go

favim.com

/get over it
 
2013-04-09 10:41:51 AM
I think the author is kind of a moron, but I do agree with the family restaurant comment. If you voluntarily go out to eat at a family restaurant, you deserve all the hell that is piled upon you. You want a nice dining experience, go to a nice restaurant. Otherwise, STFU, whether you have children or not.
 
2013-04-09 10:42:22 AM
I think she must have made her point.  Her stated premise for the article was to show "non-breeders" how annoying and petty it looks like when people biatch about your choice to have, or to not have, kids.  At least that's what I took away from it.  And while she had some valid statements, she exaggerated them intentionally applied the complaints as a stereotype to everyone without children.  Just the way people in threads just like this one lump kids into one stereotype.  Here's the thing, My daughter is great most of the time, but sometimes she goes a little crazy, gets headstrong and belligerent and won't listen to calm instruction and I have to go further.  Maybe I could break her of this, maybe I could force her to behave all the time, but then what would I be left with?  I don't want her to be some whiny, milquetoast assbag who spends all their time biatching about how poorly other people's kids behave.  Sometimes even good kids misbehave, it's because of the developmental cycle of the human being that they need to spend several years (sometimes more than 20) learning to fit into society.  Everyone goes through it, and one thing I can say is that anyone who says they *never* did any of these cardinal sins of being a kid is a liar (or has conveniently forgotten what a PITA they were as a child), and maybe the reason they're such self righteous pricks today is because their parents thought it was more important that they not be embarrassed in public than it was to make sure their children grew up to be good people.
 
2013-04-09 10:43:26 AM
What a judgmental twat.
 
2013-04-09 10:43:35 AM
That's a long list.  With that list in mind, what are the parents suppose to talk about then?
Remember that their time is filled with children's activities.   So should they talk about what TV they watched for 6 hours or what level they made it to on their favorite video game...like childless people?
 
2013-04-09 10:45:07 AM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: I May Be Crazy But...: I was roughly with her (not that I have kids, but she made some sense) until she talked about repopulating the earth. There are more people living now than at any point in the past. We aren't REpopulating the earth, we're OVERpopulating the earth, you idiot.

[i14.photobucket.com image 750x563]


I guess I'm not seeing which part of what I said was totally out there. There's room for argument about what the carrying capacity of the earth is, I suppose.
 
2013-04-09 10:45:36 AM

LlamaGirl: What a judgmental twat.


That is the funniest thing I've read all day 8D
 
2013-04-09 10:46:35 AM
FTFA:2a.The Sheer Mess that Some Kids Make When Out to Eat is Astounding - Yeah. That's why we go out, dumbass. We just paid $7 plus (a very generous) tip for a crappy grilled cheese sandwich so we wouldn't have to deal with that mess.

What?  You paid SEVEN WHOLE DOLLARS for a meal at a sit-down restaurant?  Well holy shiat lady, I didn't realize you paid seven dollars!  By all means, please allow your demon spawn to throw his food all over the place, including onto my neighboring table, and make a giant wet mess for the waitress to clean up!

Tip:  If you're at a restaurant and feel that the price for the food is outrageous enough that your child should be given permission to do anything he wants, you have to realize that the other customers are ALSO paying the same prices and should be just as entitled to whatever THEY want, including not having their meal disrupted.
 
2013-04-09 10:47:36 AM

I May Be Crazy But...: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: I May Be Crazy But...: I was roughly with her (not that I have kids, but she made some sense) until she talked about repopulating the earth. There are more people living now than at any point in the past. We aren't REpopulating the earth, we're OVERpopulating the earth, you idiot.

[i14.photobucket.com image 750x563]

I guess I'm not seeing which part of what I said was totally out there. There's room for argument about what the carrying capacity of the earth is, I suppose.


Her side of it, the population upkeep thing.
 
2013-04-09 10:48:20 AM
I'm going to say this and I only hope that woman in the article reads and pays close attention.

I have no problem with your child. It's a child. It doesn't know better most of the time because it's a child and therefore a behavioral work-in-progress. I have every problem with a parent who is so detached from the situation and blinded by favoritism for their offspring that they cannot acknowledge when their child is out of line and needs more than a yelling at from across the room.

You bring your child to a restaurant, don't act surprised when the screaming starts making the people around you feel like your ass should've stayed home. Give them something to do other than throw a temper tantrum because they're bored waiting for food or the bill. Ask the host or hostess for a few extra coloring sheets and crayons. They'll be pleased to give them to you if it means the children will continue to behave and not disrupt the dining experience of other customers. I don't care if your child pops their head over the top of the booth to talk to me, but if your child cannot handle the situation without turning into a danger for waitstaff by running around the floor perhaps eating out should be done at lunch times when they're not as busy.

Again, empty threats from across the room do nothing. It's why me and my siblings have always listened to my mom instead of my dad. We knew mom would have absolutely no problem with following through on her threats. Dad would talk a big game but never follow through. If you're incapable of figuring out a way to correct your child and make it stick, you'll end up with a kid who thinks you're all talk and doesn't respect you at all.
 
2013-04-09 10:49:16 AM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: I May Be Crazy But...: I was roughly with her (not that I have kids, but she made some sense) until she talked about repopulating the earth. There are more people living now than at any point in the past. We aren't REpopulating the earth, we're OVERpopulating the earth, you idiot.

[i14.photobucket.com image 750x563]


That is the saddest looking doggie.  I feel bad now.
 
2013-04-09 10:49:56 AM

dkimball: So should they talk about what TV they watched for 6 hours or what level they made it to on their favorite video game...like childless people?


You must have some dipshiat childless friends if that's all they talk about.
 
2013-04-09 10:51:09 AM

computerguyUT: As a parent of

6 kids (hers mine and ours) ranging form 8 to 28, the article is dead on.   Like it or not.

Wanna know how I know you're wrong?
 
2013-04-09 10:51:46 AM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: I May Be Crazy But...: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: I May Be Crazy But...: I was roughly with her (not that I have kids, but she made some sense) until she talked about repopulating the earth. There are more people living now than at any point in the past. We aren't REpopulating the earth, we're OVERpopulating the earth, you idiot.

[i14.photobucket.com image 750x563]

I guess I'm not seeing which part of what I said was totally out there. There's room for argument about what the carrying capacity of the earth is, I suppose.

Her side of it, the population upkeep thing.


Oh, good. I was afraid I'd had some sort of brain damage that makes me completely unable to see where I'm going off the rails.

Normally I drink to get that effect!
 
2013-04-09 10:52:01 AM
Does she really think that someone incapable of the patience and generosity required to be a parent is going to be able to read that whole "list"?
 
2013-04-09 10:52:25 AM

Lusiphur: I think the author is kind of a moron, but I do agree with the family restaurant comment. If you voluntarily go out to eat at a family restaurant, you deserve all the hell that is piled upon you. You want a nice dining experience, go to a nice restaurant. Otherwise, STFU, whether you have children or not.


But what would you qualify as a "family restaurant?"

Chucky cheese & McD's? Sure, I can see that. Places like the Olive Garden? I'll give it a pass. The problem is when parents qualify any area that serves food, is less than $50 a plate, and allows people under 21 as a "family restaurant."

Just because you can take your 2-foot-tall screaming terrorist to an affordable steakhouse, on a Friday night, doesn't mean you should.
 
2013-04-09 10:52:34 AM

JPSimonetti: Mercutio74: Full disclosure, I'm a parent of a 4 yr old girl.

The article makes some good points, but number 9 is bullshiat.  Whenever my precious snowflake is doing something that isn't very precious and is annoying/hurting/generally shiat disturbing others and she doesn't respond to my chairbourne correction, I get up and deal with her....  usually by crouching down in front of her, telling her I want to talk to her, explaining why what she's doing isn't acceptable and threatening her with a time out if she continues.  If that doesn't take care of it, then I follow through with the time out unless she behaves.

Why do I do this?  Because I want my chair-based words of correction to farking mean something.  My sister in law shrieks at her children and they don't give a fark because they know it doesn't mean anything.  On the other hand, the 9 times out of 10 when I calmly tell her to stop doing something stupid and other parents tell me how well behaved she is, it's not because she's awesome (which she is, I have to be honest) it's because she knows that there are consistent and knowable consequences to misbehaving and it's more fun to find something else to get into.

We have plenty of ways to make our kids behave without thrashing them or inducing some kind of cruelty...  if your kid is misbehaving it's probably because you don't follow through on your correction of their behaviour and they know you're full of shiat.

First off, this is not sarcasm ... Using fear as a tactic to keep kids in line is absolutely a great way to get them to pull it together in public. I use that card with my 9 year old a few times a month. A very sharp glare and pointed finger is all it takes for him to straighten up, and it doesn't cause a scene. He knows what's coming next. It is that fear that makes him straighten up. It was that fear that kept ME in line as a kid. It works, and it's more humane than constant beatings. (my father and I have a great relationship these days. it did ...


A point my wife continually misses.......
 
2013-04-09 10:54:15 AM

MythDragon: Little bastard want to act up? I'll quickly grab him, roll him onto his back, put my face about 1 inch from his and say "NO". Tries to climb up the dresser? Spray him with the water bottle. Runs around all crazy, I'll park him on his butt and say "Sit". Takes toys from other children, and into the baby crate he goes.


I shiat you not, our old next door neighbors had a mentally retarded child. She cannot speak, only knows limited sign language, and gets violent at the drop of a hat. The only thing that works for her is when she does something wrong, her mother will squirt her with the water bottle and Amelia knows that's her signal to go into her time out chair. Putting her there physically never worked. Taking away her favorite toy never worked. But a shot of water to the side of her head does.
 
2013-04-09 10:54:22 AM
That was hilarious!

I especially like the line about her wanton desire to beat her child, but NOOOOOOOO, she can't, because of DUMB HIPSTERS.

F'in hipsters and their pesky, non child-beating way.

Mr. Duston Rowles must be a troll aggregate.
 
2013-04-09 10:55:05 AM
FTA: "6. I Get Irritated When Parents Blabber on about Being So Busy - Oh, honey. We're not that busy. When you manage to fold in taking care of a child into your full time job, we parents become excellent time managers. I manage three kids, writing for two sites, consume 30-40 hours of media each week, and still find time to hang out with friends. If we are "too busy" to hang out, it just means that we think that changing diapers and reading Where the Wild Things Are is more fun than hanging out with you."

Wait . . . by saying "consume 40 hours of media" (aka. watching TV on the couch), this person believes they're busy?
 
2013-04-09 10:56:30 AM

THX 1138: FTFA:2a.The Sheer Mess that Some Kids Make When Out to Eat is Astounding - Yeah. That's why we go out, dumbass. We just paid $7 plus (a very generous) tip for a crappy grilled cheese sandwich so we wouldn't have to deal with that mess.

What?  You paid SEVEN WHOLE DOLLARS for a meal at a sit-down restaurant?  Well holy shiat lady, I didn't realize you paid seven dollars!  By all means, please allow your demon spawn to throw his food all over the place, including onto my neighboring table, and make a giant wet mess for the waitress to clean up!

Tip:  If you're at a restaurant and feel that the price for the food is outrageous enough that your child should be given permission to do anything he wants, you have to realize that the other customers are ALSO paying the same prices and should be just as entitled to whatever THEY want, including not having their meal disrupted.


Missing that gem is what I get for skimming. There is no tip less than $50 that will make up for having to clean up after your kid covers half the room is in his food and spit and snot. Although, I guess if the author has to clean up after that every day, I can understand wanting a night off. I'd also understand making an attempt to get the kid to not throw stuff all over he place when he's eating.
You know what, make it more than $50. Because the other tables near you aren't going to tip me after having to put up with that, so you can make up for their tips also.
 
2013-04-09 10:56:30 AM

mightybaldking: jigger: This tumblr has been making the rounds. Is this kid typical or is he just a little biatch? I vote little biatch. Honestly, I don't think I could handle this little fark without choking him out.

http://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/

Generally, any one of those situations is typical.  All of them at the same time is not.


Yeah, no way to really judge that unless you know how far apart those incidents are.  If it's only once a week, probably not that big of a deal.
 
2013-04-09 10:56:34 AM

MrSteve007: Lusiphur: I think the author is kind of a moron, but I do agree with the family restaurant comment. If you voluntarily go out to eat at a family restaurant, you deserve all the hell that is piled upon you. You want a nice dining experience, go to a nice restaurant. Otherwise, STFU, whether you have children or not.

But what would you qualify as a "family restaurant?"

Chucky cheese & McD's? Sure, I can see that. Places like the Olive Garden? I'll give it a pass. The problem is when parents qualify any area that serves food, is less than $50 a plate, and allows people under 21 as a "family restaurant."

Just because you can take your 2-foot-tall screaming terrorist to an affordable steakhouse, on a Friday night, doesn't mean you should.


THIS. I read this in TFA and was like, "So because I don't want to deal with annoying kids, I'm not allowed in burger or pizza places that are withing my meager income?"
 
2013-04-09 11:01:38 AM
1. I -dont- post pics of my pets on FB. Thanks for projecting.

2. There is no such thing as a non-family restaurant... believe me if there was, i'd go there EXCLUSIVELY.

3. I have never complained about shy children, In fact it would be fine with me if they were all shy.

4.  I never claimed to understand parenthood.

5. Once again, i dont post that shiat on FB... you can STFU about that now.

6.  Its fine with me if you dont have time to bring your rugrats around to wreck my place.

7.  Meh, you dont need babysitters anymore, it is now perfectly acceptable to take your farking children EVERYWHERE. Its why we're not allowed to have fun at Ozzie concerts anymore. Its "family entertainment" now.  UGH.

8.  Yea, i dont refer to myself as my doggies "daddy" either... thats just weird.

9.  This childless liberal hippie is all about you beating the hell out of your children when they deserve it. Hell if you dont want to, let me know & i'll do it for you.

10.  fark you... ever worked a 40+ hour shift?  Ever worked more than 360 days in a single year? I've done both... to cover up for busy parents who didnt have time to show up for their farking job.
 
2013-04-09 11:04:02 AM
I have no kids but I helped two of my three sisters, extensively, to raise their kids. (four in all) Changing diapers, going to school functions, the whole business hell I even talked to my oldest nephew about the birds and the bees so any know it all parent tries that high ground shiat on me is in for it. Having said that every last thing on that list is a legitimate complaint. My policy was you act up in a restaurant or movie we leave immediately no exceptions. Maybe I lucked out but after the age of like 5 the children understood this and acted accordingly. As opposed to when they were out with their mothers and they would act like farking drunk goblins terrorizing them and anyone unfortunate enough to be within sight and earshot. My point being most kids will do anything and everything you allow them to, its in their nature to test limits. This is where the parents lose this argument. I have seen plenty of families with well behaved, considerate children of all ethnicities, economic levels and religions. Fark it my point is if you say you can't control your kids in public that is a failure on your part not theirs. If can't corral the them then you have no business taking them in public or even having them in the first place probably.

Now cue the mom brigade to tell me how I don't know shiat because I was smart enough to use contraception and they weren't.
 
2013-04-09 11:04:09 AM
1)  Non issue, unfriend or hide their posts if you don't want to see facebook pics
2)  I typically don't go to restaurants that are designated "family friendly", I've seen unruly kids and parent's who refuse to control them (or take responsibility for their crotch fruit) at most establishments I've patronized.  Why should everyone else have to suffer because you refuse to take responsibility for your child?
2a)  I don't care how messy your table gets while eating, just as long as it doesn't come over to my table when I'm eating.
3)  I don't care if your child is paying attention to me or not, I'd prefer if your child was "shy" (or just anti-social)
4)  What's there to understand, it's your child, you are legally responsible for them, so maybe take some responsibility for raising them, and correcting behavior that is negative towards other people and society?
5)Again, I don't care how long a video of your child is...why is she griping about this...
6)Again, I don't care how busy you are, if you don't want to hang out with friends, that's your choice, but if you never make time for people, they won't be your friends forever (but that's on you, I highly doubt you're that special snowflake you think you are, and that they're sulking because they can't hang out with you)
7)  Kind of goes with #6, but one of my peeves if parent's who bring their infants to bars or weddings or movies, is your 9 month old baby going to really remember or have any sort of enjoyable experience at a wedding?
8)  Calling someone "mommy" or "daddy" is creepier than most other pet names, stop trying to justify that it's just as creepy as other pet names people have
9)  This is ridiculous, "yelling" at your kids is not the end all solution to correcting bad behavior, if you need to get your fat ass up and deal with them, then do it.  If they are not listening to what you say, then you need to use other tactics (such as physically correcting the problem, if they're throwing something, take it away for example).  This reminds me of dog owners who think that they can "reason" with their pet, yelling may or may not work, if it doesn't, then you need to physically intervene.
10)I agree with this point, when it comes to family and friends, if you don't want to be around parents or kids, don't be.  But at the same time, why would you need to "repopulate" the Earth?  Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates, and the Earth will eventually be unable to sustain all of us?  Do you also realize that there are a lot of situations where people who do not know you, are forced to be in a situation with your crotch fruit, so bottom line, take responsibility for your legal responsibilities.
 
2013-04-09 11:09:59 AM
Having said that every last thing on that list is a legitimate complaint.

Except the shy kids of course I find a lot of "shy" kids just spend more time thinking and less talking, a good policy for anyone.
 
2013-04-09 11:11:44 AM
FTFH:  For a refreshing change, a mom posts a list of 10 things about which non-breeders need to ESS. TEE. EFF. YOO

i75.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-09 11:13:03 AM

kumanoki: It's been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his Brief History of Time from your fourth-grade paper?


I can easily refute that. I came to some very different conclusions, so if he'd read it, he wouldn't have had some of the flaws he had to correct later.
 
2013-04-09 11:16:58 AM
Look, just slap your kid if he or she is being a doof in public. That'll solve a lot of the problem. It's OK.
 
2013-04-09 11:17:26 AM
3. My Biggest Complaint Are the Parents Who Play the "Shy" Card on Behalf of their Children - If we say that our child is "shy," when our child is being quiet or ignoring you, we're just trying to be nice. In reality, it's because you are a scary looking person who children immediately distrust and we don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you that. Please, don't make this about our kid. Instead, ask yourself why that kid doesn't seem to be acting "shy" around other grown-ups, then take a good hard look in the mirror, and remove those giant f***king rubber things from your earlobes because you look like a creepy hipster.

Is this supposed to make me feel bad? I hope your farking kids are terrified of me. In a perfect world, they would run in the opposite direction until they die of exhaustion.

We don't want your damned kids to like us. We want them to be invisible and inaudible, until they are old enough to act like human beings.
 
2013-04-09 11:20:59 AM

CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,


Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.
 
2013-04-09 11:21:55 AM

chewd: 2. There is no such thing as a non-family restaurant... believe me if there was, i'd go there EXCLUSIVELY.


I learned of this on Fark.
 
2013-04-09 11:25:40 AM

umad: 3. My Biggest Complaint Are the Parents Who Play the "Shy" Card on Behalf of their Children - If we say that our child is "shy," when our child is being quiet or ignoring you, we're just trying to be nice. In reality, it's because you are a scary looking person who children immediately distrust and we don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you that. Please, don't make this about our kid. Instead, ask yourself why that kid doesn't seem to be acting "shy" around other grown-ups, then take a good hard look in the mirror, and remove those giant f***king rubber things from your earlobes because you look like a creepy hipster.

Is this supposed to make me feel bad? I hope your farking kids are terrified of me. In a perfect world, they would run in the opposite direction until they die of exhaustion.

We don't want your damned kids to like us. We want them to be invisible and inaudible, until they are old enough to act like human beings.


No, she is saying that if the kid acts shy, and the parent says he is just shy, don't lecture the parent on how to raise a kid who isn't shy. This doesn't apply to people like you who do not want to interact with the kid, just the ones who crowd a kid, and then act offended when the kid acts frightened or reserved.
 
2013-04-09 11:27:50 AM

umrdyldo: Hero tag needs a bit of Obvious or Sad.  Can't decide which.


The hero tag is just the troll cherry on top of that fail sundae.
 
2013-04-09 11:28:20 AM
Have a 17 month old, so I'm really getting a kick...

1. Parents Post Too Many Photos of Their Children on Their Facebook Walls
No, that's a definite problem in some cases.  A normal parent posts pictures of their kids at a reasonable rate.  A kid gets a plate of spaghetti over every part of their body (except their nose.  How the hell does that always happen?!), funny.  300 pictures of a kid looking at the dog is annoying.  Naked pictures of kids shouldn't be anywhere near facebook, because there are a lot of farked up people online.
2. Control Your Children in Restaurants/2a. The Sheer Mess that Some Kids Make When Out to Eat is Astounding
I hope nobody is dumb enough to take a kid who isn't at least elementary school aged to a moderately nice restaurant.  I'm not talking Applebees, but anything where prices are written as "9.5" for something that costs $9.50.  If you go to Bob Evans and complain about kids, then you're eating at the wrong place.  If you go to Chuck E Cheeses and complain about kids, you are a moron.
3. My Biggest Complaint Are the Parents Who Play the "Shy" Card on Behalf of their Children
Agreed,  My daughter waves at nearly everyone, but there are people she won't.  I could tell them that my daughter thinks they might be looney toons, but I'll refrain and fallback on the shy escape.
(side note:  Why do crazy people like to come up to babies and talk to them?  Wait, no, I don't want to hear the answer.
4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents
I don't know who I want to punch more here, the blogger or the people who do this.  Yes, some people think that having a pet goldfish named Bill makes them qualified to be parents (and some take that a step further), but parents have to understand that people don't know what having a kid is like until they actually have kids.
5. No One Wants to Watch a Video of Your Child that is Longer than 12 seconds Long
Most people don't have an attention span.  If it's a constant stream of funny, then anything longer is fine with reason.  If you have to wait for the payoff (kid carrying around plate of spaghetti, drops it on dog), then tell people when it happens in the video.

This is actually more a depressing commentary on the state of societal attention spans.
6. I Get Irritated When Parents Blabber on about Being So Busy
In my experience, parenting is like how flying an aircraft in combat has been describes.  2 hours of boredom, followed by 5 minutes of sheer terror.  You can do a lot in those two hours.  Besides, the blogger is right, it's no fun to hang out with single friends who make derisive comments about kids, when all you want to do is make comments about said friend dying alone.
7. I Most Hate That They Fall Into What We Call the "Baby Hole." Why Can't Anyone Get a Damn Babysitter Anymore?
If you have to pay for a babysitter every time that you want to go out, one of two things has occurred.  1)  You have no local relatives/friends who love babies.  I feel bad for you, because that sucks, or 2)  You've made awful choices in life, and consequently nobody wants to deal with you or your kid.
8. I Don't Like When Spouses Start to Call Each Other "Mommy" and "Daddy." That's Just Creepy
Yeah, that actually can get creepy.  Especially when there are no kids around.
9. What Really Annoys Me Is When Parents Yell at their Kids But Never Get Out of Their Chair and Deal with the Kid
You could sit your kid down, and in a stern voice, tell them that their behavior is unacceptable, and they must cease and hahahaha nevermind, that doesn't work with anyone below school age.  No, you get off your ass, pick up your kid, and do whatever it is you need to to keep the kid from being a brat.  Don't beat your kid, no, that will lead to your kid beating their kids, etc.  Just don't be a passive dipshiat.
10. My Biggest Pet Peeve Is 'You Can't Imagine How Tired, Frustrated, Pain, Etc. Unless You've Had a Child
fark no.  People fight fires, build buildings, and jump out of perfectly good airplanes without a kid.  That's dumb.  Blogger should feel dumb.
 
2013-04-09 11:29:52 AM
Part of me wonders if the Fark non-breeders are non-breeders by choice.....they seem extremely vitriolic, like a nerve has been struck.

Can you get a chick pregnant in your Mom's basement while playing WoW and making cheeto-fingers?
 
2013-04-09 11:34:42 AM
Everyone driving slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster is a maniac.
 
2013-04-09 11:42:54 AM

Head_Shot: Part of me wonders if the Fark non-breeders are non-breeders by choice.....they seem extremely vitriolic, like a nerve has been struck.

Can you get a chick pregnant in your Mom's basement while playing WoW and making cheeto-fingers?


It's not just fark.  My wife and I know a number of people who are very openly critical of everything kids related.  Hell, some of these people have kids themselves.

There are a number of possible reasons for this.  Ego is one.  I don't like the fact that, as it stands now, there is a generation of adults who were told that they were special in every way raising kids to have the "I got mine so fark you" attitude.  My parents were kind and loving, as were my wife's, but we were never told that we were special to everyone in the world.  Consequently, we tend to try and act like we belong to something resembling society, as opposed to self contained special anarchic person units.
 
2013-04-09 11:43:32 AM
As a childless-but-married-for-20+-years person, I read the entire article straining in vain to find a single point which applied to me.

I don't do the annoying Facebook thing... I don't do Facebook.
I put my vacation photos on a blog, and then I only post the best 1-2% (none are of the "I'm standing in front of something" variety either).
I am tolerant of a wide array of child behaviors, but there is a point at which kids are too disruptive, I don't care how goddam much you need a day out. Go to Sonic and eat in your car if the kid is going to scream non-stop, or make a mess in a spray radius of greater than their reach.
Friends who can't hang, don't. Fine. I'll see you at work, or at my birthday party or something. If lives don't work together, it's not as big a deal in today's hyper-connected world.

Parents made a choice. Even if the pregnancy was an accident, that you kept the kid was a choice. I was adopted by parents who wanted me badly and given up by parents who couldn't take care of me properly. Both sides made the right choice.

If your choice inconveniences others beyond reasonable tolerance levels (ask a stranger if you can't figure it out on your own) don't be surprised when someone offers you advice on how to minimize being an asshole. The manner of their expression is probably related to how big an asshole you are being.
 
2013-04-09 11:47:11 AM
Dear Mommies and Daddies,

No we actually don't need to cut you a break. In fact, I don't owe you a damned thing, I have my own problems to worry about. Grow up and handle your responsibilities.

Signed,

Everyone
 
2013-04-09 11:47:11 AM
Meh She has some valid points..especially about the resturant thing. I take my kid out so I dont have to cook and clean. Also if you choose to eat at a "Family"  dining establishment why are you judging parents who bring their families you non-breeding hipster douchnozzles.

Seems like the childless ones  are out in force in this thread, but it is FARK so you know you have to move out of your mom's basement to have kids
 
2013-04-09 11:49:18 AM

chewd: 10.  fark you... ever worked a 40+ hour shift?  Ever worked more than 360 days in a single year? I've done both... to cover up for busy parents who didnt have time to show up for their farking job.


You sound angry, like you missed a big sale on hairnets
 
2013-04-09 11:54:57 AM
I stopped reading after she started biatching about Facebook. If Facebook has that much influence on your life, then you need to forget about having a child. You need to seriously re-evaluate yourself and your priorities first.
 
2013-04-09 11:55:29 AM

taoistlumberjak: Head_Shot: Part of me wonders if the Fark non-breeders are non-breeders by choice.....they seem extremely vitriolic, like a nerve has been struck.

Can you get a chick pregnant in your Mom's basement while playing WoW and making cheeto-fingers?

It's not just fark.  My wife and I know a number of people who are very openly critical of everything kids related.  Hell, some of these people have kids themselves.

There are a number of possible reasons for this.  Ego is one.  I don't like the fact that, as it stands now, there is a generation of adults who were told that they were special in every way raising kids to have the "I got mine so fark you" attitude.  My parents were kind and loving, as were my wife's, but we were never told that we were special to everyone in the world.  Consequently, we tend to try and act like we belong to something resembling society, as opposed to self contained special anarchic person units.


Agreed. Fortunately for me (and the kids) my wife makes me be more social then I would normally be.
 
2013-04-09 11:55:46 AM
I just started and then stopped reading a pointless tome by a delusional woman. Any point she may have had was lost in bitterness and defensiveness, which suggest that she knows in her heart that the childless people have valid points.
 
2013-04-09 11:57:58 AM

EbolaNYC: Dear Mommies and Daddies,

No we actually don't need to cut you a break. In fact, I don't owe you a damned thing, I have my own problems to worry about. Grow up and handle your responsibilities.

Signed,

Everyone


That should help They don't owe you anything either.  No quarter asked, none given.
 
2013-04-09 11:59:03 AM

blindio: That should help(.) They don't owe you anything either.  No quarter asked, none given.


I missed a period in a parenting thread.  I find that amusing.
 
2013-04-09 11:59:32 AM

Head_Shot: taoistlumberjak: Head_Shot: Part of me wonders if the Fark non-breeders are non-breeders by choice.....they seem extremely vitriolic, like a nerve has been struck.

Can you get a chick pregnant in your Mom's basement while playing WoW and making cheeto-fingers?

It's not just fark.  My wife and I know a number of people who are very openly critical of everything kids related.  Hell, some of these people have kids themselves.

There are a number of possible reasons for this.  Ego is one.  I don't like the fact that, as it stands now, there is a generation of adults who were told that they were special in every way raising kids to have the "I got mine so fark you" attitude.  My parents were kind and loving, as were my wife's, but we were never told that we were special to everyone in the world.  Consequently, we tend to try and act like we belong to something resembling society, as opposed to self contained special anarchic person units.

Agreed. Fortunately for me (and the kids) my wife makes me be more social then I would normally be.


I know how you feel.  My wife and I can be the same way.  We like hanging out with people who tend to be decent human beings, kids or no kids.  It's the ones who can't act like grown-ass people that we get really anti-social around.

If liking to be around decent people only makes one anti-social, then I'm proudly anti-social.
 
2013-04-09 11:59:33 AM

onzmadi: Meh She has some valid points..especially about the resturant thing. I take my kid out so I dont have to cook and clean. Also if you choose to eat at a "Family"  dining establishment why are you judging parents who bring their families you non-breeding hipster douchnozzles.

Seems like the childless ones  are out in force in this thread, but it is FARK so you know you have to move out of your mom's basement to have kids


Nah it's not one of those threads.  The conversation actually started out pretty measured - the father's points make him out to be an obviously lousy parent, who spends 40 hours a week watching television as his job.  At the same time, the anti-breeder set is pretty obnoxious.

Kids *do* have a place in society, and parents *do* have the responsibility to either raise them correctly *before* inflicting them upon society.  And no, being a parent does not make you special, or above the judgment of the childless.
 
2013-04-09 12:01:34 PM

Lexx: onzmadi: Meh She has some valid points..especially about the resturant thing. I take my kid out so I dont have to cook and clean. Also if you choose to eat at a "Family"  dining establishment why are you judging parents who bring their families you non-breeding hipster douchnozzles.

Seems like the childless ones  are out in force in this thread, but it is FARK so you know you have to move out of your mom's basement to have kids

Nah it's not one of those threads.  The conversation actually started out pretty measured - the father's points make him out to be an obviously lousy parent, who spends 40 hours a week watching television as his job.  At the same time, the anti-breeder set is pretty obnoxious.

Kids *do* have a place in society, and parents *do* have the responsibility to either raise them correctly *before* inflicting them upon society***.  And no, being a parent does not make you special, or above the judgment of the childless.


***or, if they can't raise them to behave, parents have the duty to not bring them out in public.
 
2013-04-09 12:03:05 PM

MycroftHolmes: No, she is saying that if the kid acts shy, and the parent says he is just shy, don't lecture the parent on how to raise a kid who isn't shy.


That's not what the author said at all.  The author's message was "If my kid is awkward around you and I say it's because he's shy, it's actually because you're ugly".

Seriously.  Read it again.  There was even a "Try looking at your face in a mirror and it'll be obvious why my kid's afraid of you" statement.
 
2013-04-09 12:05:26 PM
The article makes some good general points, but then the author goes full retard...
 
2013-04-09 12:06:39 PM

Lexx: Kids *do* have a place in society, and parents *do* have the responsibility to either raise them correctly *before* inflicting them upon society.


Raise the kids before "inflicting" them upon society?  Sheesh, do you always go around broadcasting your childhood issues?

/kidding
 
2013-04-09 12:09:00 PM

blindio: EbolaNYC: Dear Mommies and Daddies,

No we actually don't need to cut you a break. In fact, I don't owe you a damned thing, I have my own problems to worry about. Grow up and handle your responsibilities.

Signed,

Everyone

That should help They don't owe you anything either.  No quarter asked, none given.


Yeah, no shiat Sherlock. That's the point.
 
2013-04-09 12:10:00 PM
It's funny how some people assume that not having kids is the result of the fact that someone couldn't get knocked up.

I'm pretty sure I've put more thought and care into ensuring I won't have kids than most people do into having them. All anyone wants, regardless if you have a kid or not, is for people to act responsible for their choices.
 
2013-04-09 12:10:59 PM

cgraves67: As a parent, I agree that there are a lot of bad parents in the world, but a lot of the ones people complain about, do the things they do because it is what works. You can go into parenting with a basic plan on how to handle feeding, clothing, and disciplining a child, but raising a child is similar to combat in the sense that, once engaged, all planning goes out the window. You simply have to do what works, even if the people around are annoyed or disapprove.



No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

Helmuth von Moltke the Elder
 
2013-04-09 12:11:31 PM
9.What Really Annoys Me Is When Parents Yell at their Kids But Never Get Out of Their Chair and Deal with the Kid - Well, how are we supposed to "deal with it"? We yelled at the kid, didn't we?

What the fark am I supposed to do?  I already yelled at my goddamn kid, didn't I?  And he still didn't stop misbehaving.  Yelling at him is my entire arsenal of discipline techniques!  You don't actually expect me to do more, do you?  Fark that!

And then in the next sentence, the author goes on to start ranting about liberals being to blame for his/her kid's inability to be disciplined.  Awesome stuff.  Really enhances the credibility of the entire article.
 
2013-04-09 12:13:01 PM

Yugoboy: As a childless-but-married-for-20+-years person, I read the entire article straining in vain to find a single point which applied to me.

I don't do the annoying Facebook thing... I don't do Facebook.
...

If your choice inconveniences others beyond reasonable tolerance levels (ask a stranger if you can't figure it out on your own) don't be surprised when someone offers you advice on how to minimize being an asshole. The manner of their expression is probably related to how big an asshole you are being.

FTFA:
"How would you feel, you childless heathens, if we were to label all the non-breeders the same? Let's find out."

Gee Yugoboy, why do you think you couldn't find a single point that applied to you? I don't want you to strain too hard, as your sage offering of advice makes pretty clear the thesis of the article is well beyond your comprehension  even though it was explicitly stated at the start.
 
2013-04-09 12:13:40 PM
TFA: If we say that our child is "shy," when our child is being quiet or ignoring you, we're just trying to be nice. In reality, it's because you are a scary looking person who children immediately distrust and we don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you that.

Don't lie to me, biatch!
 
2013-04-09 12:15:40 PM

blindio: That should help They don't owe you anything either.

 No quarter asked, none given.

No quarter?

So, can non-parents get back the extra taxes they paid (taxes which go toward schools & children's programs) that they were unable to deduct for no reason other than the fact that they didn't have children?
 
2013-04-09 12:20:13 PM

onzmadi: Meh She has some valid points..especially about the resturant thing. I take my kid out so I dont have to cook and clean. Also if you choose to eat at a "Family"  dining establishment why are you judging parents who bring their families you non-breeding hipster douchnozzles.

Seems like the childless ones  are out in force in this thread, but it is FARK so you know you have to move out of your mom's basement to have kids


I like how you and the author are both acting like we are talking about "family restaurants" when you know damn well that we aren't. There was a farking baby at the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises during the Aurora shooting. Do you think those people would have any issues with dragging their baby along to a 5-star restaurant?

Seems like the childed ones are out in force in this thread and are ignorant as hell.
 
2013-04-09 12:21:23 PM
Uh, just to say, this article was written as a quasi-response to this piece: here.  All of the bullet points in the FA are answers that supposedly came from real childless people.  The author wasn't making them up out of thin air.
 
2013-04-09 12:21:52 PM
I've got a kid and I'll tell you that I'm a pretty shiatty parent.  My kid loves me, but I'm sure I suck bar the occasional home run.  I hate both sanctimonious parents and sanctimonious non parents equally, with probably more hate for the parents.  WHY?  Because anyone who is sanctimonious should be punched in the face. My kid has autism and thinks your kid isn't as interesting as the toy he's found.  Yeah it's weird, but fark you if you take it personally, he's got autism.  Try getting your kid to engage him in a game of tag and he'll chase you to the end of the earth.  And don't look at him like a retard, he reads books without pictures and he just turned four.  He's plenty smart, just a weird ass.

And yeah, I called my kid weird.  He's also occasionally obnoxious and bossy, fibs, and doesn't know when to use the inside voice.  He's also fun, funny, and full of ideas.  He's just four so there is a limit to his capabilities, but there are upsides to the dickishnes.

And single people or people without kids, you made your choice.  I don't care about your choice, please at least don't care about mine.  My kid will cry.  I DON'T FARKING LIKE IT EITHER.  You think I LIKE that shiat?  No, but I'm an adult and I understand that these things happen.

So from this parent, there is plenty of hate to go around and it all has to do with being sanctimonious dickheads - Period.
 
2013-04-09 12:22:40 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Should we take away something? Because she's three, does she really have anything of value?

To her, yes.  This use to work fantastic on my daughter at that age.

<Kid situation>
Me:  You better stop what you're doing or I'm going to put one of your toys in time out.
Kid:  What are you gonna take?
Me:  What do you think I'm gonna take?
Kid: (GASP)  Not my Shamu!?!
Me:  Oh, you bet it's your Shamu.
</Kid situation>


www.hellonearth.com
 
2013-04-09 12:23:42 PM

THX 1138: So, can non-parents get back the extra taxes they paid (taxes which go toward schools & children's programs) that they were unable to deduct for no reason other than the fact that they didn't have children?


Just as soon as they give back all the taxes their parents didn't have to pay plus interest. I'll just assume they didn't sponge up 12 years of free education too, because then complaining about paying for it now would just be Republican-scale hypocrisy. (And if you went to school in the 80's, well just try a quick Net Present Value calculation on how much you have to pay back considering historic discount rates.)

Economically, tax breaks are given to the child and paid back tenfold over that child's lifetime. And you, as entitled a snowflake as you are, still owe so pay the fark up. (If you're an immigrant, it's the fee you pay to come here.)
 
2013-04-09 12:24:33 PM
Seems to me that this has taught me that everyone, breeder or non-breeder, sign up to social networks and go to social places and are then very angered when they encounter other human beings.

If you add someone on Facebook, did you not expect them to post pictures of their kids/food/vacation/etc?

If you go to a restaurant, did you not expect other people to actually be there, living their lives?


Seems like everyone wants to be in public, but not actually encounter any people.
 
2013-04-09 12:26:36 PM

THX 1138: blindio: That should help They don't owe you anything either.  No quarter asked, none given.

No quarter?

So, can non-parents get back the extra taxes they paid (taxes which go toward schools & children's programs) that they were unable to deduct for no reason other than the fact that they didn't have children?


Having been a child yourself once, you'll understand that you benefited from a similar program(s) that you personally did not have to pay for, are you suggesting you would be better off if a majority of the next generation is uneducated because you didn't want to pay for education?  The fact that you fail to see the benefit of the cost of such programs does not exempt you from it.
 
2013-04-09 12:28:17 PM

Surpheon: THX 1138: So, can non-parents get back the extra taxes they paid (taxes which go toward schools & children's programs) that they were unable to deduct for no reason other than the fact that they didn't have children?

Just as soon as they give back all the taxes their parents didn't have to pay plus interest. I'll just assume they didn't sponge up 12 years of free education too, because then complaining about paying for it now would just be Republican-scale hypocrisy. (And if you went to school in the 80's, well just try a quick Net Present Value calculation on how much you have to pay back considering historic discount rates.)


That is fine with me. I suppose you will be fine with us eliminating any programs that didn't exist at the time our parents were raising us as well, which is a shiatload of them.
 
2013-04-09 12:32:30 PM
Still a fairly recent parent myself. I don't begrudge people getting irritated when a child is acting out in public. I don't want to be around that anymore than they do (and nobody understands that better than my own children, for what it's worth).

But, I still find amazing is the sheer number of people that get *preemptively* annoyed, in a a very demonstrative manner, simply by the presence of a small child or some fleeting moment of (god forbid) childlike behavior (e.g., the plaintive, world-weary sigh when me and my daughter sit down next to you in a public place).

Still waiting for some poor sucker to overstep his bounds, and throw his little adult-tantrum in a way that my kid actually notices. Because, at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my shiat...in a very demonstrative manner.
 
2013-04-09 12:32:54 PM

GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.



So the reason she's having kids is just to have someone to take care of her when she's old. At least I don't foist my responsibility of my well-being on others. Also, I have trained my pets to ensure they're quiet and don't get into everything, unlike the little shiats that she seems unable to control.
 
2013-04-09 12:33:45 PM

Girl Pants: Seems like everyone wants to be in public, but not actually encounter any people.


I don't think I can put it any better.
It's unfortunate, though, that public contains a number of people who should not be allowed out in public.
 
2013-04-09 12:38:12 PM

umad: That is fine with me. I suppose you will be fine with us eliminating any programs that didn't exist at the time our parents were raising us as well, which is a shiatload of them.


Go ahead and list 'em out. Try to grasp a bit of reality, or at least respect the big Newt-Clinton welfare ax that fell in the 90's - depending when you were raised, it is entirely likely there was MORE spending on children ('welfare queens' were rare but not extinct in the 70's 80's and early 90's).

Most of the budget growth has gone to defense spending, not child benefits.
 
2013-04-09 12:40:07 PM

Bumblefark: Still a fairly recent parent myself. I don't begrudge people getting irritated when a child is acting out in public. I don't want to be around that anymore than they do (and nobody understands that better than my own children, for what it's worth).

But, I still find amazing is the sheer number of people that get *preemptively* annoyed, in a a very demonstrative manner, simply by the presence of a small child or some fleeting moment of (god forbid) childlike behavior (e.g., the plaintive, world-weary sigh when me and my daughter sit down next to you in a public place).

Still waiting for some poor sucker to overstep his bounds, and throw his little adult-tantrum in a way that my kid actually notices. Because, at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my shiat...in a very demonstrative manner.


You are looking for an excuse to lose your shiat on someone because your comfort in public is obviously more important than theirs, so they need to STFU and deal with it. Yet you wonder why people are "preemptively annoyed" with you?

Here is your typical parent everybody.
 
2013-04-09 12:42:17 PM

Mystery Vortex: So the reason she's having kids is just to have someone to take care of her when she's old.


I'm guessing you didn't do so well on the verbal SAT. She is clearly referring to her child primarily as a pet and secondarily stating a beneficial action it can do. Children as "luxury pets" is a pretty convincing argument actually, The Economist has made it pretty well if you want to google it up.
 
2013-04-09 12:45:10 PM

blindio: Having been a child yourself once, you'll understand that you benefited from a similar program(s) that you personally did not have to pay for, are you suggesting you would be better off if a majority of the next generation is uneducated because you didn't want to pay for education?  The fact that you fail to see the benefit of the cost of such programs does not exempt you from it.


I neither said that anyone would be better off if the next generation is uneducated, nor did I ever say I was unwilling to pay.  I have no problem paying taxes which benefit children, even if others get to pay less simply because they have kids.  It's an investment that I absolutely benefited from and believe is worth continuing.

I was pointing out the inaccuracy of the "No quarter asked, none given" response I quoted.
 
2013-04-09 12:54:16 PM

Surpheon: umad: That is fine with me. I suppose you will be fine with us eliminating any programs that didn't exist at the time our parents were raising us as well, which is a shiatload of them.

Go ahead and list 'em out. Try to grasp a bit of reality, or at least respect the big Newt-Clinton welfare ax that fell in the 90's - depending when you were raised, it is entirely likely there was MORE spending on children ('welfare queens' were rare but not extinct in the 70's 80's and early 90's).


WIC started in 1972.
The Earned Income Tax Credit was enacted in 1975.
Per child tax credits have been raised from $400 in 1998 to $1000 today.

I could keep going, but you get the point. If you say I still owe for when I was a kid, then fine. But I should only have to pay for the services that were actually available when I was a kid. Here is where you disagree and say that the rest of us should have to pay for your decisions, because that is what parents actually want.
 
2013-04-09 01:00:02 PM

THX 1138: blindio: That should help They don't owe you anything either.  No quarter asked, none given.

No quarter?

So, can non-parents get back the extra taxes they paid (taxes which go toward schools & children's programs) that they were unable to deduct for no reason other than the fact that they didn't have children?


I'd be happy just to prevent parents from getting back MORE than they paid due to the "Earned Income" Child Tax Credit. What a friggin' joke. You do not want to know how many people get back hundreds of dollars more than they paid simply because they had unprotected sex.
 
2013-04-09 01:04:24 PM
Many years ago, when my two oldest kids were pretty darn young (roughly 8 and 3), we took them with us to a VERY fancy restaurant (the Peninsula Grill at the Planters Inn in Charleston, SC). There wasn't another child in the restaurant, and the stares from the other diners were palpable.

My kids sat quietly, behaved themselves, and ate their dinner. We got several compliments on how well-behaved our children were.

If you teach your kids how to behave, and then expect them to behave, they will (for the most part) behave. Not always--they are kids. But I believe that almost any kid can control himself long enough to eat dinner in a restaurant if he is taught to do so.
 
2013-04-09 01:04:59 PM
One through seven, nine and ten are meh. I'm indifferent to what any of you think about me or my kids when I'm in public. If the little ones get out of line, I'll take care of them. Likewise if you get out of line, I'll take care of you. Simple. I'm an equal opportuntity tantrum corrector.

As far as 8, well it's only creepy if you don't have kids. If I've learned anything, kids learn better when I walk the walk. My wife and I think that calling us Mommy and Daddy is a respect thing. Much like that if my children were to address you it would be Mr./Ms. Firstname. And she does have a point, I'm sure many of you are calling each other weird-ass pet names.
 
2013-04-09 01:08:48 PM

umad: Surpheon: umad: That is fine with me. I suppose you will be fine with us eliminating any programs that didn't exist at the time our parents were raising us as well, which is a shiatload of them.

Go ahead and list 'em out. Try to grasp a bit of reality, or at least respect the big Newt-Clinton welfare ax that fell in the 90's - depending when you were raised, it is entirely likely there was MORE spending on children ('welfare queens' were rare but not extinct in the 70's 80's and early 90's).

WIC started in 1972.
The Earned Income Tax Credit was enacted in 1975.
Per child tax credits have been raised from $400 in 1998 to $1000 today.

I could keep going, but you get the point. If you say I still owe for when I was a kid, then fine. But I should only have to pay for the services that were actually available when I was a kid. Here is where you disagree and say that the rest of us should have to pay for your decisions, because that is what parents actually want.


Actually, we more or less assume that the value to society of not devolving into an aging geriatric population with no one to provide basic goods and services overrides your personal life choices, and thus you derive value from having the children of others both provide a stable economic base for your own future as producers and consumers.  We furthermore have decided that there's a basic level of needs that everyone should have provided to them in order to derive that value and prevent excessive health care and legal costs to society as a whole.  You are encouraged to disagree, and vote however your conscious guides you.  The reason that these benefits are provided is because, by definition, that viewpoint is what society as a whole has decided through our representatives to provide them.  These benefits are available to you, whether you choose to procreate and take advantage of them or not, because we've decided there's a net profit to society in providing them.
 
2013-04-09 01:20:44 PM

Mr Guy: Actually, we more or less assume that the value to society of not devolving into an aging geriatric population with no one to provide basic goods and services overrides your personal life choices, and thus you derive value from having the children of others both provide a stable economic base for your own future as producers and consumers.  We furthermore have decided that there's a basic level of needs that everyone should have provided to them in order to derive that value and prevent excessive health care and legal costs to society as a whole.  You are encouraged to disagree, and vote however your conscious guides you.  The reason that these benefits are provided is because, by definition, that viewpoint is what society as a whole has decided through our representatives to provide them.  These benefits are available to you, whether you choose to procreate and take advantage of them or not, because we've decided there's a net profit to society in providing them.


Now you're just moving the goalposts. You are pretty much telling me that I am not allowed to have any problems with our current government because "society" made it the way it is, and thus it is the way it should be. The original argument was that we are paying for the services that we benefitted from as children.

"Society" apparently didn't think it was necessary for so many government programs when I was a kid, so why are they necessary now?
 
2013-04-09 01:21:17 PM
8.I Don't Like When Spouses Start to Call Each Other "Mommy" and "Daddy." That's Just Creepy.

If I may expand on a tangent of this one...

One thing that drives me up the wall (especially looking at it from a linguistics-based language acquisition perspective) is when parents refer to themselves in the third person when speaking to their kids.  When "Mommy" herself says something like:  "Mommy is very tired today because Mommy had to spend her entire day cleaning up after you."

Just call yourself "I" and "me".  Take ownership of your statements rather than attributing them to a third-party representation of yourself.  Referring to yourself in the third person is completely inconsistent with the manner in which anyone else will speak to your children.  Call the  otherparent "Mommy" or "Daddy", fine, as that's the name by which the child knows that person.  But to refer to yourself as "Mommy" or "she" goes contrary to all other language observations the child is making, and serves no purpose other than to dismiss the child's considerable mental capabilities for the sake of the parent's desire to feel that they're being cute.

/rant off
 
2013-04-09 01:29:42 PM
ITT: parents being defensive about being unfairly criticized then saying things like;

"You will die alone."
and
"People without kids are fat losers who play WOW in their mother's basement."

I sure hope your spouses are better role models for your children.
 
2013-04-09 01:30:56 PM
Friendly's restaurant is a great place to eat if you like listening to screaming babies and toddlers.
 
2013-04-09 01:31:15 PM

umad: Surpheon: umad: That is fine with me. I suppose you will be fine with us eliminating any programs that didn't exist at the time our parents were raising us as well, which is a shiatload of them.

Go ahead and list 'em out. Try to grasp a bit of reality, or at least respect the big Newt-Clinton welfare ax that fell in the 90's - depending when you were raised, it is entirely likely there was MORE spending on children ('welfare queens' were rare but not extinct in the 70's 80's and early 90's).

WIC started in 1972.
The Earned Income Tax Credit was enacted in 1975.
Per child tax credits have been raised from $400 in 1998 to $1000 today.

I could keep going, but you get the point. If you say I still owe for when I was a kid, then fine. But I should only have to pay for the services that were actually available when I was a kid. Here is where you disagree and say that the rest of us should have to pay for your decisions, because that is what parents actually want.


If the point is that you just cherry pick your side of the argument, sure I get it. But as a child of the 60's, you Know Everything, right? Out of curiosity, how much more does WIC cost versus what preceded  which was state-provide medical care for malnutrition that included, literally, prescriptions for food? Oh, and what is the budget for Aid to Families with Dependent Children that existed when you were a child? Oh yeah, that program was eliminate entirely. And what was the payroll tax in the 60's when you were growing up?

BTW, if you were out of school by 1972 then you owe a shiatLOAD of money to payback your $120k of free schooling considering the interest accrued in the 70's. Not your fault, but the fact your bill (what society paid to give you schooling and social services) was racked up on a credit card with a 10% interest rate while those who were kids in the 80's only had a 5% interest rate makes a huge difference.
 
2013-04-09 01:32:47 PM

tfresh: [imgs.xkcd.com image 740x297]

//Just got back from a week vacation in Vancouver. Thank you expensive health plan and the $30 co pay for my vasectomy!


I saw a car that had that last night...  Ok not excatly, it was a man* and woman and two dogs.  I think they missed the point that the icons are supposed to justify your Behemoth vehicle because your family is so large.

/*Probably was a woman in pantsuit and short hair.
//I want a sticker that says:
I Support our Troops
Because this thing
doesn't run on rice.
 
2013-04-09 01:33:05 PM

umad: Now you're just moving the goalposts. You are pretty much telling me that I am not allowed to have any problems with our current government because "society" made it the way it is, and thus it is the way it should be. The original argument was that we are paying for the services that we benefitted from as children.

"Society" apparently didn't think it was necessary for so many government programs when I was a kid, so why are they necessary now?


No, I'm not.  I'm stating the obvious to you, in terms of your complaints.  You have the right to be unhappy about it.  You have the right to organize.  You just need to understand the reason why programs are increasing is because the viewpoint that we should raise the standard of living for everyone keeps outvoting the alternate viewpoints.  You're right, the idea you're paying backwards is silly, as it's silly for most of the old people not to try and convince themselves they actually paid in as much benefit as they received.  You're paying now for what we currently have written into law, and what's written into law currently is predicated on the belief there's a benefit to everyone to maintain to the best of our abilities a certain level of employment, education services, and medical care.  If you want to convince people to vote with you to change the laws, you need to convince them that there's not a benefit to all of us to making sure children receive a basic education, basic medical care, and basic police protections.
 
2013-04-09 01:34:38 PM

umad: "Society" apparently didn't think it was necessary for so many government programs when I was a kid, so why are they necessary now?


How old are you? I'm just curious how ignorant you are of what programs were available in your youth.

You implied you weren't a child in 1972, so that puts you back to being born in the 50's. In which case, not really worth arguing with. We're just waiting for your ignorant Leave it Beaver idolizing boom ass to die anyhow so we can get something done.
 
2013-04-09 01:35:59 PM

Egoy3k: "You will die alone."


Joke's on them.  Everyone dies alone.
 
2013-04-09 01:38:47 PM

umad: onzmadi: Meh She has some valid points..especially about the resturant thing. I take my kid out so I dont have to cook and clean. Also if you choose to eat at a "Family"  dining establishment why are you judging parents who bring their families you non-breeding hipster douchnozzles.

Seems like the childless ones  are out in force in this thread, but it is FARK so you know you have to move out of your mom's basement to have kids

I like how you and the author are both acting like we are talking about "family restaurants" when you know damn well that we aren't. There was a farking baby at the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises during the Aurora shooting. Do you think those people would have any issues with dragging their baby along to a 5-star restaurant?

Seems like the childed ones are out in force in this thread and are ignorant as hell.


If the restaurant is called "family style" that means it has created a menu and setting that are generally child friendly. That doesn't mean there's an all-purpose blanket excuse for allowing the children you bring to act like entitled, obnoxious, spoiled schmucks.

When my folks took us out to family friendly restaurants they still expected us to behave ourselves. That's not because they were extra-special-great parents, it's just because they were regular parents. Insisting that your children behave themselves is a minimum requirement for being a responsible parent.
 
2013-04-09 01:38:51 PM
ten reason why i chose not to have children.
 
2013-04-09 01:39:01 PM

Surpheon: your ignorant Leave it Beaver idolizing boom ass


Which of his posts did you get that from?
 
2013-04-09 01:42:58 PM

nytmare: Friendly's restaurant is a great place to eat if you like listening to screaming babies and toddlers.


Some restaurant chain might do pretty well with a slogan like, "Bring your screaming kids here so other people won't have to hear them."
 
2013-04-09 01:44:54 PM

umad: There was a farking baby at the midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises during the Aurora shooting. Do you think those people would have any issues with dragging their baby along to a 5-star restaurant?


I doubt anyone who does this can afford to eat at a 5 start restaurant. It's unlikely that they are employed at all.  If they do happen to be employed well I have it on good authority that those 'special' employment centers that sell washer toss games and whatnot don't pay very well.
 
2013-04-09 01:47:04 PM

THX 1138: Surpheon: your ignorant Leave it Beaver idolizing boom ass

Which of his posts did you get that from?


In listing programs he said that he gained no benefit from he included WIC that started in 1972 (when the absurdity of requiring doctors to write a prescription for food that would then be covered, eventually, after many middlemen took a cut, through medicaid, hit home). So he was over 16 in 1972 which puts him as being born before 1956.

Also the obvious answers to "Society" apparently didn't think it was necessary for so many government programs when I was a kid, so why are they necessary now? " branch from attacking people who nostalgically (from a white, upper middle class upbringing) view the 60's as being like Leave it to Beaver.

BTW, I was making a claim,  notquoting him.
 
2013-04-09 01:47:18 PM

taoistlumberjak: 5. No One Wants to Watch a Video of Your Child that is Longer than 12 seconds Long
Most people don't have an attention span.  If it's a constant stream of funny, then anything longer is fine with reason.  If you have to wait for the payoff (kid carrying around plate of spaghetti, drops it on dog), then tell people when it happens in the video.

This is actually more a depressing commentary on the state of societal attention spans.


Alternatively, it is a perfectly reasonable commentary on the state of "funny kid videos."  Kid drops spaghetti on dog?  That's kinda funny, that's worth a 15-second lead-up before the drop, but 90% of the time it's gonna be a 2 minute video of the kid being "oh so adorably cute" (to NO ONE but its hormone-and-instinct driven parents) followed by the kid doing something "HILARIOUS!!!!111one" like burping.

It's not actually funny, it takes way too long, and it would result in my hate if I still watched those kind of videos.

But I don't, because I've learne: if it is at all funny it will show up on someone else' youtube compilation, America's funniest home videos, and it will be properly edited.
 
2013-04-09 01:48:44 PM

umad: Bumblefark: Still a fairly recent parent myself. I don't begrudge people getting irritated when a child is acting out in public. I don't want to be around that anymore than they do (and nobody understands that better than my own children, for what it's worth).

But, I still find amazing is the sheer number of people that get *preemptively* annoyed, in a a very demonstrative manner, simply by the presence of a small child or some fleeting moment of (god forbid) childlike behavior (e.g., the plaintive, world-weary sigh when me and my daughter sit down next to you in a public place).

Still waiting for some poor sucker to overstep his bounds, and throw his little adult-tantrum in a way that my kid actually notices. Because, at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my shiat...in a very demonstrative manner.

You are looking for an excuse to lose your shiat on someone because your comfort in public is obviously more important than theirs, so they need to STFU and deal with it. Yet you wonder why people are "preemptively annoyed" with you?

Here is your typical parent everybody.


...no, I said they need to not act like a jackass simply because my daughter sits down next to them in a public place. The implication was that rules of public courtesy apply even to small children in those spaces. And, yeah, if you decide to be rude to my kid simply for existing, I'm going to make your life a hell of a lot less pleasant in return. I'd do the same even if it wasn't my kid, because you're just human garbage...

...But, go ahead and be preemptively retarded about what I wrote, snowflake.
 
2013-04-09 01:55:13 PM

Surpheon: people who nostalgically (from a white, upper middle class upbringing) view the 60's as being like Leave it to Beaver.


I have absolutely no clue where he nostalgically reminisced about the '60s as being like Leave it to Beaver, but it must be there somewhere if you're making it such a main part of your argument.
 
2013-04-09 01:56:36 PM

someonelse: Englebert Slaptyback: tricycleracer

someonelse: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Think about why you assumed the author was female. Then feel bad about yourself.

Right there in the header: "drolly written by a mother ".


Also in the Fark headline: "a mom posts a list".

I believe this is where we point and laugh at someonelse.

Laugh away.


Ha Ha!
 
2013-04-09 01:58:16 PM

Bumblefark: umad: Bumblefark: Still a fairly recent parent myself. I don't begrudge people getting irritated when a child is acting out in public. I don't want to be around that anymore than they do (and nobody understands that better than my own children, for what it's worth).

But, I still find amazing is the sheer number of people that get *preemptively* annoyed, in a a very demonstrative manner, simply by the presence of a small child or some fleeting moment of (god forbid) childlike behavior (e.g., the plaintive, world-weary sigh when me and my daughter sit down next to you in a public place).

Still waiting for some poor sucker to overstep his bounds, and throw his little adult-tantrum in a way that my kid actually notices. Because, at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my shiat...in a very demonstrative manner.

You are looking for an excuse to lose your shiat on someone because your comfort in public is obviously more important than theirs, so they need to STFU and deal with it. Yet you wonder why people are "preemptively annoyed" with you?

Here is your typical parent everybody.

...no, I said they need to not act like a jackass simply because my daughter sits down next to them in a public place. The implication was that rules of public courtesy apply even to small children in those spaces. And, yeah, if you decide to be rude to my kid simply for existing, I'm going to make your life a hell of a lot less pleasant in return. I'd do the same even if it wasn't my kid, because you're just human garbage...

...But, go ahead and be preemptively retarded about what I wrote, snowflake.


No, that was exactly what you said, you asshole.
 
2013-04-09 02:00:26 PM
What I got out of this was "being a parent sucks and anyone who doesn't have kids doesn't understand this and needs to stfu."  No, that's precisely why some of us don't have kids, so we understand perfectly.

One thing that bothers me about this topic when it comes up is the parents who actually expect that people are not going to look at their children when they're screaming/crying/making a scene.  Some parents get really upset about people looking their way when a loud, disruptive commotion is coming from their kids, as if it's totally unnatural for people to draw their attention to it.  This whole "don't you dare look at us when my kid cries" thing is really ridiculous.  Most of us "non-breeders" don't possess the tune out ability that parents seem to acquire.  It's no different than if I'm on the streets of a city and some homeless, crazy drunk is ranting obscenities at the wind.  People are naturally going to look, then realize he's a crazy and avoid eye contact as you quickly try to get out of there.
 
2013-04-09 02:01:31 PM

babygoat: Bumblefark: umad: Bumblefark: Still a fairly recent parent myself. I don't begrudge people getting irritated when a child is acting out in public. I don't want to be around that anymore than they do (and nobody understands that better than my own children, for what it's worth).

But, I still find amazing is the sheer number of people that get *preemptively* annoyed, in a a very demonstrative manner, simply by the presence of a small child or some fleeting moment of (god forbid) childlike behavior (e.g., the plaintive, world-weary sigh when me and my daughter sit down next to you in a public place).

Still waiting for some poor sucker to overstep his bounds, and throw his little adult-tantrum in a way that my kid actually notices. Because, at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my shiat...in a very demonstrative manner.

You are looking for an excuse to lose your shiat on someone because your comfort in public is obviously more important than theirs, so they need to STFU and deal with it. Yet you wonder why people are "preemptively annoyed" with you?

Here is your typical parent everybody.

...no, I said they need to not act like a jackass simply because my daughter sits down next to them in a public place. The implication was that rules of public courtesy apply even to small children in those spaces. And, yeah, if you decide to be rude to my kid simply for existing, I'm going to make your life a hell of a lot less pleasant in return. I'd do the same even if it wasn't my kid, because you're just human garbage...

...But, go ahead and be preemptively retarded about what I wrote, snowflake.

No, that was exactly what you said, you asshole.


*re-reads post*

So, you don't understand what "e.g." means, or how it functions within a text.

So, my toddler hasn't sharper reading comprehension skills than you. Got it.
 
2013-04-09 02:01:54 PM

maxx2112: FTFA:  2.Control Your Children in Restaurants - Look, if you see a kid at a restaurant, more times than not, it's because you've chosen to go to a "family" restaurant, and "family" often means loud-mouthed litte (sic) brats.

9.What Really Annoys Me Is When Parents Yell at their Kids But Never Get Out of Their Chair and Deal with the Kid - Well, how are we supposed to "deal with it"? We yelled at the kid, didn't we?


biatch, please.  Your parents would have handled this shiat.  Why can't you?


/ When I was a kid, a "time out" meant my dad took time out of his busy day to whip my ass.


You know, it's funny. I was just about to say that, as a parent, I would agree with all of her statements except #2 and #9.
 
2013-04-09 02:05:34 PM

Egoy3k: ITT: parents being defensive about being unfairly criticized then saying things like;

"You will die alone."
and
"People without kids are fat losers who play WOW in their mother's basement."

I sure hope your spouses are better role models for your children.


Regarding the WoW comment; Relax, I wasn't talking about people without kids, I was speaking specifically about you.
 
2013-04-09 02:06:26 PM

JPSimonetti: Mercutio74: Full disclosure, I'm a parent of a 4 yr old girl.

The article makes some good points, but number 9 is bullshiat.  Whenever my precious snowflake is doing something that isn't very precious and is annoying/hurting/generally shiat disturbing others and she doesn't respond to my chairbourne correction, I get up and deal with her....  usually by crouching down in front of her, telling her I want to talk to her, explaining why what she's doing isn't acceptable and threatening her with a time out if she continues.  If that doesn't take care of it, then I follow through with the time out unless she behaves.

Why do I do this?  Because I want my chair-based words of correction to farking mean something.  My sister in law shrieks at her children and they don't give a fark because they know it doesn't mean anything.  On the other hand, the 9 times out of 10 when I calmly tell her to stop doing something stupid and other parents tell me how well behaved she is, it's not because she's awesome (which she is, I have to be honest) it's because she knows that there are consistent and knowable consequences to misbehaving and it's more fun to find something else to get into.

We have plenty of ways to make our kids behave without thrashing them or inducing some kind of cruelty...  if your kid is misbehaving it's probably because you don't follow through on your correction of their behaviour and they know you're full of shiat.

First off, this is not sarcasm ... Using fear as a tactic to keep kids in line is absolutely a great way to get them to pull it together in public. I use that card with my 9 year old a few times a month. A very sharp glare and pointed finger is all it takes for him to straighten up, and it doesn't cause a scene. He knows what's coming next. It is that fear that makes him straighten up. It was that fear that kept ME in line as a kid. It works, and it's more humane than constant beatings. (my father and I have a great relationship these days. it did ...


Non-breeder here, so take this with the appropriately sized grain of salt.

It's more than fear. It's making the connection between choices and their consequences. The child can choose to behave or misbehave and you've made it quite clear that there are consequences as a result of that choice: a nice trip out and about or...something, hopefully physical pain (j/k). But the sooner children learn this, the better adjusted they become to society and the faster they can move on to learning other social skills. You and Mercutio74 seem to be doing a great job, so keep it up!
 
2013-04-09 02:07:06 PM

Cybernetic: nytmare: Friendly's restaurant is a great place to eat if you like listening to screaming babies and toddlers.

Some restaurant chain might do pretty well with a slogan like, "Bring your screaming kids here so other people won't have to hear them."


Maybe, but I doubt it.  Children are like cigarette smoke, you generally learn to ignore your own but you don't like anyone else's.  Back when restaurants had "smoking sections" it was a common occurrence for smokers to sit in the non-smoking sections, after snagging an ashtray, if they thought they could get away with it.  I watched it happen often.   The same applies to parents of screaming children.  They are miserable among other screeching toddlers and numb to their own, so they go to your restaurant and remain numb to their children and make everyone else miserable.  Because the alternative is being miserable themselves, at a "family" restaurant.

Oh, and "bring your destructive coont-turds" restaurants tend to be objectively terrible.  Aside from what the children do, (and the sticky little monsters do a lot) the food is lousy, unhealthy, and expensive.  I presume because of the need for extra staff, extra cleaning, extra repair-work, and extra insurance.
 
2013-04-09 02:09:48 PM

santadog: Missicat: GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Fortunately I can pay for my own hospice/nursing home care....also, do parents really have kids just so they can have someone to take care of them when they get old? What if your kids have children of their own? Pretty selfish attitude...

This.  I opted not to give birth to my own waitstaff.    I can afford hospice because I didn't blow a million outfitting a mini me.


Enjoy being surrounded by strangers who don't care about you in your waning years.
 
2013-04-09 02:12:14 PM

THX 1138: Surpheon: people who nostalgically (from a white, upper middle class upbringing) view the 60's as being like Leave it to Beaver.

I have absolutely no clue where he nostalgically reminisced about the '60s as being like Leave it to Beaver, but it must be there somewhere if you're making it such a main part of your argument.


Not sure how you get from a closing accusation to "a main part of your argument". The main part of my argument is that current adults received a shiatload of societal funding in their youth, so complaining about paying taxes for schools and such now when 'I don't use them' is disingenuous. I've also pointed out how when he cited programs he didn't get any benefit from, he is conveniently ignoring welfare programs that were paying out when he was a child but do not exist anymore. I admit the sideline commentary on the time value of money in the 70's was pretty dense and probably inappropriate for this venue, but I'm awfully amused that you seem to think my closing insult is a main part of my argument.
 
2013-04-09 02:14:21 PM

Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.


Oh rry

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-09 02:15:39 PM

lostcat: santadog: Missicat: GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Fortunately I can pay for my own hospice/nursing home care....also, do parents really have kids just so they can have someone to take care of them when they get old? What if your kids have children of their own? Pretty selfish attitude...

This.  I opted not to give birth to my own waitstaff. I can afford hospice because I didn't blow a million outfitting a mini me.

Enjoy being surrounded by strangers who don't care about you in your waning years.


Man, you folks plan to be pretty pathetic old people. Am I the only one that's ever listened to The Who?
 
2013-04-09 02:17:38 PM

lostcat: santadog: Missicat: GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Fortunately I can pay for my own hospice/nursing home care....also, do parents really have kids just so they can have someone to take care of them when they get old? What if your kids have children of their own? Pretty selfish attitude...

This.  I opted not to give birth to my own waitstaff.    I can afford hospice because I didn't blow a million outfitting a mini me.

Enjoy being surrounded by strangers who don't care about you in your waning years.


Giving birth does not guarantee being surrounded by loved ones in your waning years.
 
2013-04-09 02:18:47 PM
I've seen a lot of talk in this thread about "how do you deal with unruly children".  I mentioned a few things (aka, "give them something to do") but I haven't really seen anyone use this word yet: expectations.

If  you have kids you simply can not put them in ANY situation without giving them expectations first and hope it will succeed.  They may need some guidance/course correction once in that situation but you have to do the up front "work".  It takes all of 30 seconds:

"We are all going to a restaurant tonight.  There are no loud voices, no running, etc etc ....or there will be no dessert and there WILL be early bed time".

...or....

"Grandma doesn't hear well so make sure you look right at her and speak loudly and use your 'please' and 'thank you'-s".

And you have to temper this sometimes with..

"I want you to scream and play and have fun and throw water balloons at me as much as you want to".  After, they are kids. They need to blow off steam like the rest of us.

If you didn't set the behavioral expectation - you are the one to blame.
 
2013-04-09 02:19:11 PM

CrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]


Ya rly
http://www.google.com/publicdata/explore?ds=d5bncppjof8f9_&ctype=l&s tr ail=false&bcs=d&nselm=h&met_y=sp_pop_grow&scale_y=lin&ind_y=false&rdim =region&ifdim=region&tdim=true&hl=en&dl=en&ind=false&q=graph+global+po pulation+growth+rateYa rly
 
2013-04-09 02:19:18 PM

THX 1138: Surpheon: people who nostalgically (from a white, upper middle class upbringing) view the 60's as being like Leave it to Beaver.

I have absolutely no clue where he nostalgically reminisced about the '60s as being like Leave it to Beaver, but it must be there somewhere if you're making it such a main part of your argument.


Don't worry about it. I was only responding to the "you are paying for the services you used as a kid" claim anyway. I don't actually care one way or the other. I basically brought it up to demonstrate how parents will lose their shiat if you threaten to stop financially supporting their decisions. They are ENTITLED to that money dammit!
 
2013-04-09 02:20:08 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: Non-breeder here, so take this with the appropriately sized grain of salt.

It's more than fear. It's making the connection between choices and their consequences. The child can choose to behave or misbehave and you've made it quite clear that there are consequences as a result of that choice: a nice trip out and about or...something, hopefully physical pain (j/k). But the sooner children learn this, the better adjusted they become to society and the faster they can move on to learning other social skills. You and Mercutio74 seem to be doing a great job, so keep it up!


For a non-member of the club, you seem to have quite a good understanding of it.  I remember the halcyon days of pre-parent me hearing everyone and their uncle say that kids are "testing their boundaries" yadda yadda yadda.  Not only is that true, but I always assumed it was a sub-conscious thing on their part...  nope, the little farkers consciously and with full knowledge of what's expected and what's taboo test the boundary of what they can get away with.  All the time my daughter will go to do something "bad" (like unplugging a piece of electronic equipment I'm using, for example)... but before she does, she'll pause, look right at me and smile like she's a Bond villain about to explain her whole plan to James Bond before retiring to the next room waiting for him to die in an elaborate and inefficient manner.

All she wants is to be noticed, told she's being a poop (yeah, well, she's four, I'm not going to call her a little shiat... that'll have to wait until she's at least 8-10 yrs old) and then she'll move on with her life.  More often than not, it looks to me that most kiddie misbehaviour is just kids wanting to be acknowledged and also bump up against the maximum amount of what they can get away with.  It becomes problematic when the kids never find a boundary.  And that's why this generation of parents suck... a sizeable number don't get that.
 
2013-04-09 02:20:36 PM

santadog: Giving birth does not guarantee being surrounded by loved ones in your waning years.


It does if you're leaving an inheritance and you hint it could be changed at the last minute ;)
 
2013-04-09 02:21:42 PM

cgraves67: As a parent, I agree that there are a lot of bad parents in the world, but a lot of the ones people complain about, do the things they do because it is what works. You can go into parenting with a basic plan on how to handle feeding, clothing, and disciplining a child, but raising a child is similar to combat in the sense that, once engaged, all planning goes out the window. You simply have to do what works, even if the people around are annoyed or disapprove.


That's where you lost me. If the people around you are annoyed or disapprove, what you are doing is not working and you need to do something else.

There are always exceptions, such as if you HAVE to have your child with you while you're grocery shopping (because who expects you to get a babysitter just to run errands?) and your child HAS to have a meltdown, okay, you have to deal with both problems at once as best you can.

But if your child is having a meltdown at a "family" restaurant, that is not okay and it's time to teach your child the basic rules of society. How you do that is up to you, but if people if you try talking to your child or threatening them and others are still annoyed and disapprove of their behavior, try something else until they stop being annoyed and disapproving. That's how you know what you're doing is working.
 
2013-04-09 02:22:36 PM

CrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]


(BTW, the graph you posted is a te

CrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]


Or in terms of wiki images if your prefer:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-04-09 02:23:40 PM

THX 1138: Surpheon: people who nostalgically (from a white, upper middle class upbringing) view the 60's as being like Leave it to Beaver.

I have absolutely no clue where he nostalgically reminisced about the '60s as being like Leave it to Beaver, but it must be there somewhere if you're making it such a main part of your argument.


Surpheonis not making it a main part of the argument, but a simile to explain the meta-concept.  I shall attempt to clarify, since it is already fairly obvious.

Umad is taking a fairly unrelated topic and cramming his "I hate gubbmint" dick in the mashed potatoes, in this case by claiming "I was raised just fine without all that there dangol' Gubbmint Intervention and Welfare State Spendin'!  I'm an island!  Why ain't you Welfare Queens islands?"

Doing the MATH, that means  umad must have been a child of the 50s or 60s and pretty much and adult by 1972.  Doing the social studies, that meanshe (she?) has the rose-tinted viewpoint that life back in ye olden days of 1950-1969 was just fine for everyone.  It is a viewpoint that is delusional and a trope best exemplified by Leave it to Beaver and the false nostalgia associated with Leave it to Beaver.

Or to put it really simply; nostalgia is bullshiat, before welfare programs children died or grew up criminals a lot more.

Though oddly enough they spent less time in prison, because we didn't have all those non-violent drug offenders doing lifetime sentences.
 
2013-04-09 02:23:50 PM

lostcat: Enjoy being surrounded by strangers who don't care about you in your waning years.


An a similar note...  before I had a kid, I though a lot about my own mortality.  I wondered if I'd look back and be satisfied when I'm old and that kind of stuff.  I don't really think about it that much anymore.  There's a definite and palpable purpose that comes with bringing someone you love into the world and preparing them to face the challenges that life will give them.  There's more deep meaning in my relationship with my daughter than any religion had ever offered me.

/And now, fark, you may mock me... :D
 
2013-04-09 02:24:31 PM

umad: I was only responding to the "you are paying for the services you used as a kid" claim anyway.


Poorly, as I pointed out by specifically citing support available in your childhood which was phased out or eliminated as the benefits you implied were new perks came into law.
 
2013-04-09 02:26:26 PM

TheBigJerk: Umad is taking a fairly unrelated topic and cramming his "I hate gubbmint" dick in the mashed potatoes, in this case by claiming "I was raised just fine without all that there dangol' Gubbmint Intervention and Welfare State Spendin'! I'm an island! Why ain't you Welfare Queens islands?"


Bullshiat.

umad: I was only responding to the "you are paying for the services you used as a kid" claim anyway. I don't actually care one way or the other.

 
2013-04-09 02:27:33 PM

Head_Shot: Egoy3k: ITT: parents being defensive about being unfairly criticized then saying things like;

"You will die alone."
and
"People without kids are fat losers who play WOW in their mother's basement."

I sure hope your spouses are better role models for your children.

Regarding the WoW comment; Relax, I wasn't talking about people without kids, I was speaking specifically about you.


My comments in this thread were a reaction to the parent from TFA having a tantrum that he isn't allowed to spank his kids because of "hippy liberals" and about how people shouldn't ever get upset about stuff posted to Facebook. I'm not sure why I would be the specific target for your posts but whatever makes you happy I guess.
 
2013-04-09 02:30:18 PM
I agree with the overall sentiment of the article, but there were a lot of clues that tell me the author is a biatch. I have two kids, 7 and 4. I have never allowed them to make a mess at a restaurant, no matter how big of a tip I plan to leave. From day one I made a show of staying tidy and if the kids dropped anything they were corrected and assisted in cleaning up after themselves. When they were old enough, I explained how rude it is to leave a mess. The youngest has had noisy meltdowns and one of us takes him to the car until he's calm. You need to teach your kids not to be rude little dicks lest they end up biatching about breeders on Fark or writing shiatty blogs.
 
2013-04-09 02:35:43 PM
Damn, this could have been a good one.  Sorry I'm late to the derpfest.

I feel qualified in commenting on other peoples kids, as I spent 4 years raising (at the start) 2 and 3 year old.  (not mine, long story, fark off)

I have only one important comment.  If you have children, and they make a mess at dinner YOU ARE A BAD PARENT.  If you then take your kids to a public eatery and let them make a mess there, YOU ARE A BAD HUMAN BEING.  If you then say something even remotely like "that's why we went out", you are... going to get punched.

I'm an adult, I have no children (by choice), I have a lovely wife, she has no children (by choice).  I don't want to see your kids, hear your kids, deal with your kids.  There is no excuse what so ever for parents to take their kids out in public if the kids can't behave as adults do.  If you can't teach your kid properly, I want you to understand, this is not my farking problem, and I will make sure you know it.  I can't tell you how many times I've had a nice dinner interrupted by a child misbehaving.  I am paying these nice people so that I don't have to cook.  If your kid can't behave in public, YOU DON'T GET TO farkING TAKE THEM IN PUBLIC.  Do you get that?

I'm so tired of self righteous coonts whose only accomplishment was to get pregnant, bringing their dirty, noisy, disrespectful shiat makers into public spaces and then throwing up their hands and saying things like "kids, what are you going to do "

I'll tell you, the next time I hear that, I'm going to bend the kid over my leg and beat his ass.  I might consider doing it to the mother as well.
 
2013-04-09 02:39:05 PM

umad: I basically brought it up to demonstrate how parents will lose their shiat if you threaten to stop financially supporting their decisions. They are ENTITLED to that money dammit!


umad: "Society" apparently didn't think it was necessary for so many government programs when I was a kid, so why are they necessary now?


umad: I suppose you will be fine with us eliminating any programs that didn't exist at the time our parents were raising us as well, which is a shiatload of them.


umad: WIC started in 1972.
The Earned Income Tax Credit was enacted in 1975.
Per child tax credits have been raised from $400 in 1998 to $1000 today.

I could keep going, but you get the point. If you say I still owe for when I was a kid, then fine. But I should only have to pay for the services that were actually available when I was a kid. Here is where you disagree and say that the rest of us should have to pay for your decisions, because that is what parents actually want.


Just a quick recap of how we got the impression you were an old asshole.

bemaslanka.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-09 02:40:12 PM

Moonfisher: I agree with the overall sentiment of the article, but there were a lot of clues that tell me the author is a biatch. I have two kids, 7 and 4. I have never allowed them to make a mess at a restaurant, no matter how big of a tip I plan to leave. From day one I made a show of staying tidy and if the kids dropped anything they were corrected and assisted in cleaning up after themselves. When they were old enough, I explained how rude it is to leave a mess. The youngest has had noisy meltdowns and one of us takes him to the car until he's calm. You need to teach your kids not to be rude little dicks lest they end up biatching about breeders on Fark or writing shiatty blogs.


Well put.  I've had to drag screaming kids out of a restaurant and sit them down outside until they calmed down (but just mine, doing that to other peoples kids is apparently not ok).  This is how they learn to behave in society, with experience and practice.  When people cry that you should keep your kids at home until they can behave in public shows a fundamental misunderstanding of how children learn to behave in public.  That said, just because they're learning is not an excuse to leave a Shermanesque path of destruction behind you every time you take your kids to dinner.  It isn't hard to wipe some of the disaster back onto the plate when you're done, or wipe up the milk spill.  The author loses significant points in suggesting that the price of dinner out includes hurricane coverage for the restaurant.
 
2013-04-09 02:42:29 PM

Surpheon: Just a quick recap of how we got the impression you were an old asshole.


And you would be wrong. I'm not that old. The asshole part is common knowledge, so have a farking cookie.
 
2013-04-09 02:43:22 PM

towatchoverme: Geez ... what is it with dog owners?  And the ones who are parents post more pics of the dogs than the kids.


The parents and kids are ugly and/or assholes, but the dogs not so much or not at all.
 
2013-04-09 02:46:21 PM
If they have a kid's menu then guess the fluck what?  That's right.  I'll be having the mac and cheese.
 
2013-04-09 02:47:27 PM
Occasionally my boss will bring his kid into work. He does it surprisingly regularly so it can't always be some kind of "emergency" situation. Kind of bugs me but on the other hand I don't really care all that much.

I'm a happy non-breeder. I don't really like children. Mostly I try not to interact with them as much as possible. Probably I'm a selfish bastard but as such I don't care what others might think about me.
 
2013-04-09 02:47:48 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: cgraves67: As a parent, I agree that there are a lot of bad parents in the world, but a lot of the ones people complain about, do the things they do because it is what works. You can go into parenting with a basic plan on how to handle feeding, clothing, and disciplining a child, but raising a child is similar to combat in the sense that, once engaged, all planning goes out the window. You simply have to do what works, even if the people around are annoyed or disapprove.

That's where you lost me. If the people around you are annoyed or disapprove, what you are doing is not working and you need to do something else.

There are always exceptions, such as if you HAVE to have your child with you while you're grocery shopping (because who expects you to get a babysitter just to run errands?) and your child HAS to have a meltdown, okay, you have to deal with both problems at once as best you can.

But if your child is having a meltdown at a "family" restaurant, that is not okay and it's time to teach your child the basic rules of society. How you do that is up to you, but if people if you try talking to your child or threatening them and others are still annoyed and disapprove of their behavior, try something else until they stop being annoyed and disapproving. That's how you know what you're doing is working.


That's what I mean. A parent has to be persistent and try different things until something works. Even with a pretty good child, some things that usually work don't always do it. So while you're escalating the severity of the discipline or trying different distractions, the people sitting around you are losing their cool. Sometimes you have to take a kid out of the situation to get their cooperation. Sometimes you have to walk around with them. I've had to do that and I feel bad for the people we are disturbing by meandering up and down the aisles. It had to be done though in order to have a happy kid who eats his dinner.
 
2013-04-09 02:49:00 PM

umad: Surpheon: umad: That is fine with me. I suppose you will be fine with us eliminating any programs that didn't exist at the time our parents were raising us as well, which is a shiatload of them.

Go ahead and list 'em out. Try to grasp a bit of reality, or at least respect the big Newt-Clinton welfare ax that fell in the 90's - depending when you were raised, it is entirely likely there was MORE spending on children ('welfare queens' were rare but not extinct in the 70's 80's and early 90's).

WIC started in 1972.
The Earned Income Tax Credit was enacted in 1975.


umad: And you would be wrong. I'm not that old.


If you were lying when you claimed to not have been a child in 1972 it's not my fault for believing it. Not to mention if you actually did benefit from all those programs you listed, you aren't merely ignorant of the programs they replaced or being an asshole, you're just another liar making shiat up to support your opinion. Isn't there a Tim Eyman campaign you can go volunteer at or something to keep busy?
 
2013-04-09 02:58:52 PM

Notabunny: fta 4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.

and

4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.

Oh, and

4. I Hate the "You Don't Understand" Parents - But, here's the thing: You don't understand.


she's a loner. a rebel.
 
2013-04-09 02:59:35 PM
That was written by a dude? BWahahahahahahahahah


/wife-like typing detected
 
2013-04-09 02:59:41 PM

Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]

(BTW, the graph you posted is a teCrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]

Or in terms of wiki images if your prefer:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 640x303]


How is our population count still rising then?  Something isn't adding up
 
2013-04-09 03:00:11 PM

mbillips: Parents aren't taking their kids to nice restaurants because we don't want to waste our money on something the kid is going to push around his plate, throw at his sister, or complain about.

Bullshiat they aren't. Rich parents take their spoiled-rotten kids to extremely nice restaurants all the time. And let them run around the place as if it were Chuck E. Cheese. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of kids who are perfectly well-behaved at restaurants. Mostly they're Asian and Hispanic kids. You never see those kids riding around in a stroller at age five, either.


this. i expect kids in a family friendly restaurant. but i was mortified when a friend let his little girl get up on the table and sing at the melting pot.
 
2013-04-09 03:01:44 PM

namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.


So very much this.  I've got two kids and I NEVER let them ruin anyone else's restaurant time for more than 15 seconds before taking them outside.  I've even dragged my friends kids/babies outside, sometimes much to their consternation.  "Family friendly" is not an invitation to ruin other paying customers evening, and if you believe it is you are part of the problem and an asshole.  Period.
 
2013-04-09 03:02:48 PM

CrazyCracka420: How is our population count still rising then?  Something isn't adding up


Math is Hard. You should just go shopping.
 
2013-04-09 03:05:15 PM
They all made me laugh.  I laughed hard at all the self righteous farkers she was just talking about.
 
2013-04-09 03:05:36 PM
That was more whiny and entitled than any "Stupid other peoples kids" rant that I have ever read.

Why are we supposed to suck your dick because you couldn't master the art of birth control?
 
2013-04-09 03:11:24 PM

cgraves67: That's what I mean. A parent has to be persistent and try different things until something works. Even with a pretty good child, some things that usually work don't always do it. So while you're escalating the severity of the discipline or trying different distractions, the people sitting around you are losing their cool. Sometimes you have to take a kid out of the situation to get their cooperation. Sometimes you have to walk around with them. I've had to do that and I feel bad for the people we are disturbing by meandering up and down the aisles. It had to be done though in order to have a happy kid who eats his dinner.


As someone without kids, let me just say thank you for your efforts. I actually smile when I see parents walking their kids up & down the aisle of a restaurant in an attempt to calm them - it lets me know you're a caring, responsible person who will probably raise another generation of caring, responsible people. Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I hate children or am bereft of empathy for people who've chosen to raise them.
 
2013-04-09 03:15:58 PM

neongoats: Why are we supposed to suck your dick because you couldn't master the art of birth control?


If there was dick sucking involved earlier, the author could've avoided the whole "I'm offended that people don't go out of their way to accommodate my children" issue entirely.
 
2013-04-09 03:23:06 PM
 
2013-04-09 03:24:25 PM

Bumblefark: babygoat: Bumblefark: umad: Bumblefark: Still a fairly recent parent myself. I don't begrudge people getting irritated when a child is acting out in public. I don't want to be around that anymore than they do (and nobody understands that better than my own children, for what it's worth).

But, I still find amazing is the sheer number of people that get *preemptively* annoyed, in a a very demonstrative manner, simply by the presence of a small child or some fleeting moment of (god forbid) childlike behavior (e.g., the plaintive, world-weary sigh when me and my daughter sit down next to you in a public place).

Still waiting for some poor sucker to overstep his bounds, and throw his little adult-tantrum in a way that my kid actually notices. Because, at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my shiat...in a very demonstrative manner.

You are looking for an excuse to lose your shiat on someone because your comfort in public is obviously more important than theirs, so they need to STFU and deal with it. Yet you wonder why people are "preemptively annoyed" with you?

Here is your typical parent everybody.

...no, I said they need to not act like a jackass simply because my daughter sits down next to them in a public place. The implication was that rules of public courtesy apply even to small children in those spaces. And, yeah, if you decide to be rude to my kid simply for existing, I'm going to make your life a hell of a lot less pleasant in return. I'd do the same even if it wasn't my kid, because you're just human garbage...

...But, go ahead and be preemptively retarded about what I wrote, snowflake.

No, that was exactly what you said, you asshole.

*re-reads post*

So, you don't understand what "e.g." means, or how it functions within a text.

So, my toddler hasn't sharper reading comprehension skills than you. Got it.


e.g. certainly doesn't mean that whatever you say in the following paragraph doesn't count. Words have meanings.
 
2013-04-09 03:25:00 PM

Surpheon: umad: And you would be wrong. I'm not that old.

If you were lying when you claimed to not have been a child in 1972 it's not my fault for believing it. Not to mention if you actually did benefit from all those programs you listed, you aren't merely ignorant of the programs they replaced or being an asshole, you're just another liar making shiat up to support your opinion. Isn't there a Tim Eyman campaign you can go volunteer at or something to keep busy?


I was playing devil's advocate when somebody posted something stupid, nothing more. I listed those programs because there are people who are old enough to have grown up before they were implemented and therefore shouldn't be paying for them according to the idiotic argument by the poster I was responding to.

By the way, you are what I was referring to when I mentioned the overwhelming sense of entitlement shown by breeders. Your little hissy-fit over such a stupid argument is telling.
 
2013-04-09 03:26:00 PM

lostcat: santadog: Missicat: GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Fortunately I can pay for my own hospice/nursing home care....also, do parents really have kids just so they can have someone to take care of them when they get old? What if your kids have children of their own? Pretty selfish attitude...

This.  I opted not to give birth to my own waitstaff.    I can afford hospice because I didn't blow a million outfitting a mini me.

Enjoy being surrounded by strangers who don't care about you in your waning years.


Right...and having children gives you a 100% guarantee that won't happen to you.  Visit a few nursing homes and check to see how many lonely old folks WITH CHILDREN live there.
 
2013-04-09 03:27:24 PM

Surpheon: it's not my fault for believing it.


Also, it is your fault that you don't know the difference between "us" and "I".
 
2013-04-09 03:29:31 PM

CrazyCracka420: How is our population count still rising then?  Something isn't adding up


I'm guessing, but I think it's because you don't die immediately after you have kids, so you have a population of 2, they have a kid, now you have 3, but the next generation is smaller (1) than the previous generation (2) apply this on a larger scale and since people typically live to see grandchildren if not great grandchildren, than the decline in population would lag behind the falling growth rate.   That said, this is still an off the cuff guess.
 
2013-04-09 03:33:02 PM

umad: Your little hissy-fit over such a stupid argument is telling.


I'm actually rather amused. For someone with the user name umad, you have an awfully thin skin. But yes, your argument was awfully stupid and your pathetic "depends on what is is" excuse is lame enough I'm just plunking you in ignore.
 
2013-04-09 03:36:51 PM

notatrollorami: namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.

So very much this.  I've got two kids and I NEVER let them ruin anyone else's restaurant time for more than 15 seconds before taking them outside.  I've even dragged my friends kids/babies outside, sometimes much to their consternation.  "Family friendly" is not an invitation to ruin other paying customers evening, and if you believe it is you are part of the problem and an asshole.  Period.


Indeed. My grandmother liked to recount the time I was 3 and knocked a plant over in a Chinese restaurant because I wouldn't sit at the table. My father and I spent the rest of the meal in the car waiting for everyone else to eat their food. I think my grandmother liked telling the story because it showed my father's patience, where she woulda just smacked the shiat outta my ass and been done with it. Either way I learned if you wanted to eat a nice meal out you had to behave properly... and I was 3. So when I see your 5+ year old misbehaving in a public space like a restaurant or shopping mall I know you're a bad parent.
 
2013-04-09 03:38:06 PM
Oh look: a bunch of degenerates on fark - who have never raised children because they are too cynical or selfish or damaged (or D, all of the above) - commenting on child rearing, and being complete self-obsessed douche bags about it. I.AM.Shocked!
 
2013-04-09 03:40:06 PM

Surpheon: umad: Your little hissy-fit over such a stupid argument is telling.

I'm actually rather amused. For someone with the user name umad, you have an awfully thin skin. But yes, your argument was awfully stupid and your pathetic "depends on what is is" excuse is lame enough I'm just plunking you in ignore.


Man, you just ruined my day. My only goal in life is to impress you. I might just kill myself since you have cut me out of your life. I just don't have a reason to live anymore. Please PLEASE don't ignore me! I'll suck your dick!!!

I suppose I should tell you that the previous paragraph was sarcasm. I doubt a person who can't tell "I" from "us" can detect such things on their own.
 
2013-04-09 03:44:06 PM

spiderpaz: Oh look: a bunch of degenerates on fark - who have never raised children because they are too cynical or selfish or damaged (or D, all of the above) - commenting on child rearing, and being complete self-obsessed douche bags about it. I.AM.Shocked!


Heh.  That kind of post is more effective if you get it in before the first hundred.  It also helps if you have, you know, read the thread too.
 
2013-04-09 03:46:55 PM
I mean, I'm resigned to the fact that I'm forever going to be held economic hostage to someone else's offspring. I can deal with that, society, civilization, population dynamics, taxes, etc. Fine. Great. I'm not even pissed about it. WiC is a great program.

But I entirely reserve the right to never want to experience your little mistake in an adult setting. That's all. It's expected when I go to chuck-e-cheeze, not when I'm dining on a steak at 10:30pm.

My earliest memories begin at around age 4, and the strongest memories are about table manners and restaurant manners. Acting up at a formal dinner table(like grandmas house) or restaurant was NOT something permitted, at all, ever. How I was before my memories begin, I can't say. But I'm guessing my mom would have removed an unruly brat rather than offend my great grandmother by being unable to control them.

That's really all I ask. Ball gag your brat before taking them to a steak joint at 10pm.
 
2013-04-09 03:49:14 PM

Hiro-ACiD: notatrollorami: namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.

So very much this.  I've got two kids and I NEVER let them ruin anyone else's restaurant time for more than 15 seconds before taking them outside.  I've even dragged my friends kids/babies outside, sometimes much to their consternation.  "Family friendly" is not an invitation to ruin other paying customers evening, and if you believe it is you are part of the problem and an asshole.  Period.

Indeed. My grandmother liked to recount the time I was 3 and knocked a plant over in a Chinese restaurant because I wouldn't sit at the table. My father and I spent the rest of the meal in the car waiting for everyone else to eat their food. I think my grandmother liked telling the story because it showed my father's patience, where she woulda just smacked the shiat outta my ass and been done with it. Either way I learned if you wanted to eat a nice meal out you had to behave properly... and I was 3. So when I see your 5+ year old misbehaving in a public space like a restaurant or shopping mall I know you're a bad parent.


That's almost precisely one of my childhood restaurant manners memories.
 
2013-04-09 04:05:50 PM
Dancis_Frake:

/One colleague posted "happy birthday son" on his FB page every month, on the XXth. We got to share the brat's bloody growth curbs, sickness bulletins, play-doh pictures, etc for 2 bloody years. I didn't hide those from my newsfeed in order to learn what not to do when I'll have one of my own.

It took two years for you to learn that lesson?
 
2013-04-09 04:08:29 PM

factoryconnection: namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.

I've taken every single one of my kids outside of a restaurant, rain or shine, for a time out before.  I hate the perception that kids shouldn't be at any restaurants, but I'm not about to allow mine to contribute to kids' collective bad reputation there.

As a result, we often get complimented by staff and other patrons about our kids' demeanor.  Also, they are adventurous... nothing like seeing a waiter's jaw drop when a 5-y/o white kid orders "taco la lengua."

"You know that means 'beef tongue,' right?"
"BEEF TONGUE!"

The kid loves beef tongue, that's for damn certain.


This! Our kid was taught to behave in restaurants from the time she was three-weeks old (she mostly just slept then). When she was older, a noodle on her high chair tray would entertain her for almost the entire meal. When she was a toddler, she did once misbehave because she wanted to sit in the bar area on the high stools and we told her she had to sit in the restaurant area because we were there to eat. She began to pitch a fit and I picked her up and took her outside and told her that if she didn't behave, we would go home and she would not get to eat in this nice new restaurant, did she want that? No! That was the one and only time I had to take her out of any restaurant or public place.

She started to cry once when she mistook a blob of sour cream for whipped cream and scooped some into her mouth before I could explain to her what it was. She felt betrayed and started to cry, but one look from me and she stopped and swallowed instead.

She was a great restaurant companion, and we got the same sort of looks from servers when she did things like order broccoli instead of fries or was able to crack and consume (safely and neatly) her own crab legs.

Now she's a grown-up, married woman with a service dog that she's trained so well you would never know a dog was at the table. It's amazing.
 
2013-04-09 04:12:19 PM
"You'll die alone."
We ALL die alone. Most people pass very suddenly, and many times very unexpectedly (like Elvis, while taking a dump). Having kids is no guarantee against being lonely or neglected in old age or getting to die surrounded by loved ones holding hands. Besides, there are things called spouses, friends, and relatives that remain intact even if you don't have children of your own.

"You'll regret it."
We ALL regret some choices we've made. Some people even (gasp!) regret their decision to have children. I will likely never summit Everest or deep-sea dive. But I can appreciate those who have (and see their photos and videos). If I ever do regret my choice to not have kids, it will be far easier to live with than the reverse.

I understand that kids can get out of control in public places. But what bothers me is when parents make no effort to correct it. If your kid spins around in their booth and stares at me while I'm eating, forgive me if I'm not amused. That's your cue to say, "Billy, turn around and mind your business". It shouldn't get to the point when I'm (in my imagination) starting to reach for their throat.
 
2013-04-09 04:21:44 PM

babygoat: Bumblefark: babygoat: Bumblefark: umad: Bumblefark: Still a fairly recent parent myself. I don't begrudge people getting irritated when a child is acting out in public. I don't want to be around that anymore than they do (and nobody understands that better than my own children, for what it's worth).

But, I still find amazing is the sheer number of people that get *preemptively* annoyed, in a a very demonstrative manner, simply by the presence of a small child or some fleeting moment of (god forbid) childlike behavior (e.g., the plaintive, world-weary sigh when me and my daughter sit down next to you in a public place).

Still waiting for some poor sucker to overstep his bounds, and throw his little adult-tantrum in a way that my kid actually notices. Because, at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my shiat...in a very demonstrative manner.

You are looking for an excuse to lose your shiat on someone because your comfort in public is obviously more important than theirs, so they need to STFU and deal with it. Yet you wonder why people are "preemptively annoyed" with you?

Here is your typical parent everybody.

...no, I said they need to not act like a jackass simply because my daughter sits down next to them in a public place. The implication was that rules of public courtesy apply even to small children in those spaces. And, yeah, if you decide to be rude to my kid simply for existing, I'm going to make your life a hell of a lot less pleasant in return. I'd do the same even if it wasn't my kid, because you're just human garbage...

...But, go ahead and be preemptively retarded about what I wrote, snowflake.

No, that was exactly what you said, you asshole.

*re-reads post*

So, you don't understand what "e.g." means, or how it functions within a text.

So, my toddler hasn't sharper reading comprehension skills than you. Got it.

e.g. certainly doesn't mean that whatever you say in the following paragraph doesn't count. Words have meanings


No, but it suggests that the meaning of what follows is probably contingent upon the illustration earlier provided.

Of course, even a well-crafted "e.g." isn't going to deter an aggressively stupid reader from playing free association with the context. That's where you come in, I suppose.

Because, really, unless you're going to white knight the passive-aggressive twat in my scenario, or suggest that *I'm* the entitled asshole for refusing to put up with it, then now would be a good time to just STFU.
 
2013-04-09 04:23:17 PM
As a "in the near future" parent, I will agree that I hide from my Facebook parents who announce their kid's toilet habits. If you're going to announce that they're potty trained, do it once, and be vague. Don't tell me every time they took a crap NOT in their pants.

I would NEVER do that. Don't share the gross parts of parenthood. Even if you're proud, people who may even be parents themselves don't care about YOUR kid's bowel movements.
 
2013-04-09 04:29:41 PM

Bumblefark: Because, really, unless you're going to white knight the passive-aggressive twat in my scenario, or suggest that *I'm* the entitled asshole for refusing to put up with it, then now would be a good time to just STFU.


Dude, I don't even have a horse in this race, but you realize that YOU'RE the one who said that you're literally waiting, hoping for someone to act poorly, so that you can unleash on them.  You've even got the damn fight already planned out in your mind and are looking forward to just the right moment to unleash it.

So you might want to think twice about throwing the term "passive-aggressive' around so freely.
 
2013-04-09 04:33:42 PM

THX 1138: Bumblefark: Because, really, unless you're going to white knight the passive-aggressive twat in my scenario, or suggest that *I'm* the entitled asshole for refusing to put up with it, then now would be a good time to just STFU.

Dude, I don't even have a horse in this race, but you realize that YOU'RE the one who said that you're literally waiting, hoping for someone to act poorly, so that you can unleash on them.  You've even got the damn fight already planned out in your mind and are looking forward to just the right moment to unleash it.

So you might want to think twice about throwing the term "passive-aggressive' around so freely.


Really...show me where I "literally" said I was hoping for someone to act poorly. I'll wait.
 
2013-04-09 04:41:10 PM

soia: I wonder if people truly understand how unimportant we really are in the grand scheme of things.


So very much this.
 
2013-04-09 04:46:39 PM

lostcat: santadog: Missicat: GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Fortunately I can pay for my own hospice/nursing home care....also, do parents really have kids just so they can have someone to take care of them when they get old? What if your kids have children of their own? Pretty selfish attitude...

This.  I opted not to give birth to my own waitstaff.    I can afford hospice because I didn't blow a million outfitting a mini me.

Enjoy being surrounded by strangers who don't care about you in your waning years.


Enjoy the same but with an extra dollop of unjustified sense of betrayal when your spawn put you in "the home" and skip town.
 
2013-04-09 04:59:00 PM

kumanoki: JPSimonetti: First off, this is not sarcasm ... Using fear as a tactic to keep kids in line is absolutely a great way to get them to pull it together in public. I use that card with my 9 year old a few times a month. A very sharp glare and pointed finger is all it takes for him to straighten up, and it doesn't cause a scene. He knows what's coming next. It is that fear that makes him straighten up. It was that fear that kept ME in line as a kid. It works, and it's more humane than constant beatings. (my father and I have a great relationship these days. it did ...

As a parent, I've found that fear is not as potent as guilt. Fear puts the onus on the parent, guilt puts the onus on the child. That may sound terrible, but fear only works up the point that people realize they have nothing to lose. Guilt will keep a person locked down indefinitely.


I can only go by how my parents raised me, but they used fear while I think I was too young to understand guilt, then brought out the big guns.

When I got in trouble at around five years old, I fully expected to get a spanking and they dropped the "d-bomb." They said something to the effect of "You're not a little boy anymore, so we're not going to spank you. But we're very DISAPPOINTED in you because you know better than to do [whatever it was I did]. We still love you, but...[blah, blah, blah]."

That shiat hurts just as bad as, and maybe worse than, a spanking -- and doesn't leave any evidence behind for CPS to use against them!
 
2013-04-09 05:29:29 PM
Breeder here.

Child's first word was not "No."

Also, children do not use the word "want."  Ever.

Grocery checkout is a delight.

//steps off soapbox
 
2013-04-09 05:57:26 PM
exterminate everyone, children included. debate solved, humans suck, shut the fark up.
 
2013-04-09 06:00:13 PM
My complaint has nothing to do with the kid running around or throwing a fit in the restaurant, store or anywhere for that matter it is when the parents ignore it for any length of time. As a parent you are responsible for your child and there is no reason you should delay reacting to your out of control child. A store is not so bad, but a restaurant with an out of control child and the parents or more often the case parent does nothing about it just fills me with so much rage that I to go over there and shoot them right in the face. The funny thing is that I am a really super easy going nice person that wouldn't hurt anyone.
 
2013-04-09 06:05:38 PM

Generation_D: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Can't wait to see how her lil snowflakes turn out. Mom sure seems precious and unique herself.
The whole thing is amusing angry fail, "Area Mom Gets Angry At Everyone" Onion kind of stuff... one can only wonder whether 1) she's a single parent or 2) the husband is glad she has time to froth and foam on the computer so he can get some time to himself.


The best part is that when you are in a nursing home pooping into an adult diaper and waiting for the staff to pick a booger for you......you will be waiting on the kids you hate so much. No one will give a fark what you think or why you dont want to die. Because you are an old bitter childless indigent who cannot relate to anything beyond his own need to poop.

I hope I go out in style with my kids around me and a Gin n Tonic in  my hand. Seriously if I just kick it at Christmas with like a hundred grand kids partying in my house and im sitting in a chair real quiet like and then someone notices my ice has melted...... Totally cool with that.

I just hope I dont go out like you, staring fixedly at the door to the room of the nursing home hoping beyond hope that someone who gives a fark will turn the knob.
 
2013-04-09 06:07:20 PM

Profedius: My complaint has nothing to do with the kid running around or throwing a fit in the restaurant, store or anywhere for that matter it is when the parents ignore it for any length of time. As a parent you are responsible for your child and there is no reason you should delay reacting to your out of control child. A store is not so bad, but a restaurant with an out of control child and the parents or more often the case parent does nothing about it just fills me with so much rage that I to go over there and shoot them right in the face. The funny thing is that I am a really super easy going nice person that wouldn't hurt anyone.


So you have explosive personality disorder and you are borderline sociopathic...... and probably described as quiet by your neighbors.
 
2013-04-09 06:10:10 PM

Big John's Breakfast Log: "You'll die alone."
We ALL die alone. Most people pass very suddenly, and many times very unexpectedly (like Elvis, while taking a dump). Having kids is no guarantee against being lonely or neglected in old age or getting to die surrounded by loved ones holding hands. Besides, there are things called spouses, friends, and relatives that remain intact even if you don't have children of your own.

"You'll regret it."
We ALL regret some choices we've made. Some people even (gasp!) regret their decision to have children. I will likely never summit Everest or deep-sea dive. But I can appreciate those who have (and see their photos and videos). If I ever do regret my choice to not have kids, it will be far easier to live with than the reverse.

I understand that kids can get out of control in public places. But what bothers me is when parents make no effort to correct it. If your kid spins around in their booth and stares at me while I'm eating, forgive me if I'm not amused. That's your cue to say, "Billy, turn around and mind your business". It shouldn't get to the point when I'm (in my imagination) starting to reach for their throat.


No seriously, you will die alone, and you will regret it. Because it isnt the dying that sucks....its the months and months that lead up to it where you are totally and completely alone as your friends realize your impending death and begin to emotionally isolate themselves from the grief by spending less time with you. And your spouse....if you are still married.....will be alone after you kick. So even if you beat the odds and die from old age while still married you are condemning her to dying alone. 

Just face it, this is really about your love of your stuff and your inability to take real responsibility for anything.
 
2013-04-09 06:16:19 PM

archichris: I hope I go out in style with my kids around me and a Gin n Tonic in my hand. Seriously if I just kick it at Christmas with like a hundred grand kids partying in my house and im sitting in a chair real quiet like and then someone notices my ice has melted...... Totally cool with that.


Or one of your kids grows up to be a thieving, schizophrenic meth-addict, who stabs you to steal your tools for pawning! All sorts of shiat can happen.
 
2013-04-09 06:37:42 PM

ItsJustJake: There are idiots on both sides. I've seen idiot parents, and I've seen idiot childless people, and each side also has good representation as well.

I control my child, and do it well. No tantrums, no outrageous behavior - she knows it's not allowed - and because of that, she's generally very well behaved. If words are required or a scene starts, Outside We Go until it's over.  PS - she's also good on airplanes, but that doesn't stop people from giving us dirty looks when we bring her on the plane. Don't assume how anyone will act in any situation. Judge them all by their actions, not by what you THINK their actions might be.


See, an airplane is one of those times when the childless have to just roll with it. There is nothing a parent can do and walking up and down the aisle with the kid is only going to upset people all over the plane. It sucks, but it probably sucks for the parent(s) even worse.

I haven't given any parents dirty looks when they board a plane with their brood, but I have closed my eyes and taken a deep breath to prepare for what could be a long, loud ride. Fortunately, the last time I flew next to a family, Mom and Dad were prepared with an iPad for the older (5-ish) kid and the infant slept most of the way. And it was just a 2-hour flight. I have been on a flight to Hawaii with a rambunctious group of families traveling together, though. THAT was bad because the parents were busy talking while their kids were literally running up and down and across the aisles playing tag (it wasn't a full flight). Thank God for flight attendants who know their shiat and eventually put a stop to it!
 
2013-04-09 06:52:50 PM
It's actually not that hard, but I'm not surprised you think so since you evidently don't know the difference between rate of breeding, and rate of growth. Think of a moving train trying to stop. It's slowing down, but still moving forward.

The point, in case you missed it, is let the goddamn train stop.
 
2013-04-09 06:54:15 PM
That was to "Math is hard". So is quoting on a phone apparently.
 
2013-04-09 07:58:39 PM
"Sir ,or Miss...the considerate thing for you to do at this very moment is for you to take your child outside until he/she calms down".

that is all.

ignore me at your peril. if you want you kid to go home repeating every swear word in my arsenal, I can play the "who can be more inconsiderate" game with you.
 
2013-04-09 08:09:54 PM

Sharksfan: I've seen a lot of talk in this thread about "how do you deal with unruly children".  I mentioned a few things (aka, "give them something to do") but I haven't really seen anyone use this word yet: expectations.

If  you have kids you simply can not put them in ANY situation without giving them expectations first and hope it will succeed.  They may need some guidance/course correction once in that situation but you have to do the up front "work".  It takes all of 30 seconds:

"We are all going to a restaurant tonight.  There are no loud voices, no running, etc etc ....or there will be no dessert and there WILL be early bed time".

...or....

"Grandma doesn't hear well so make sure you look right at her and speak loudly and use your 'please' and 'thank you'-s".

And you have to temper this sometimes with..

"I want you to scream and play and have fun and throw water balloons at me as much as you want to".  After, they are kids. They need to blow off steam like the rest of us.

If you didn't set the behavioral expectation - you are the one to blame.


I heart you so much. I bet your kids are (mostly) well behaved :-)
 
2013-04-09 08:19:04 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: ItsJustJake: ... PS - she's also good on airplanes, but that doesn't stop people from giving us dirty looks when we bring her on the plane. Don't assume how anyone will act in any situation. Judge them all by their actions, not by what you THINK their actions might be.

See, an airplane is one of those times when the childless have to just roll with it. There is nothing a parent can do and walking up and down the aisle with the kid is only going to upset people all over the plane. It sucks, but it probably sucks for the parent(s) even worse.

I haven't given any parents dirty looks when they board a plane with their brood, but I have closed my eyes and taken a deep breath to prepare for what could be a long, loud ride. Fortunately, the last time I flew next to a family, Mom and Dad were prepared with an iPad for the older (5-ish) kid and the infant slept most of the way. And it was just a 2-hour flight. I have been on a flight to Hawaii with a rambunctious group of families traveling together, though. THAT was bad because the parents were busy talking while their kids were literally running up and down and across the aisles playing tag (it wasn't a full flight). Thank God for flight attendants who know their shiat and eventually put a stop to it!


I agree with the "nothing you can do" part, up to a point.  Got an infant?  Besides not bringing them on the plane in the first place, there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do if they are feeling bad and want to let the world know about it.

But 4+, I start expecting some amount of behaving.  CSB  - On my way back home from my honeymoon, there was an obviously frazzled looking mom with what appeared to be a 4 year old girl and a 5 year old boy (I'm horrible at judging age, adult or child).  The little boy was an unholy terror.  His little sister was sittin next to the window, mom in the middle, and boy on the aisle.  He was BAWLING and BAWLING that he wanted to be next to the window, telling his mom he hated her, and hitting her.  A few times in the face.  And she was just taking it, while everyone around her was looking at her wondering WTF was going on.  This went on for a good hour and a half before Mom finally put the boy in the window seat.  Even then he was still a little a**hole.  I don't know if she was afraid people would think she was a bad mom, or if she would get in trouble, for swatting him on the behind or something.  Or if she just normally let him go on like that.

I just can't even...  It would have NEVER occurred to me to tell my mom I "hate" her, or to hit her.  My folks never laid a hand on me, that I can remember, but then again they instilled some fear/respect into me as a child.  I just always "knew" that they could discipline me, if I got out of line (they got it easy with me though...  little sis?  not so much ;))

My first is due in a few months, so I guess I'll know soon enough if my armchair parenting skills can actually translate into raising a decent human being :)
 
2013-04-09 08:22:23 PM

Mercutio74: Mitch Taylor's Bro: Non-breeder here, so take this with the appropriately sized grain of salt.

It's more than fear. It's making the connection between choices and their consequences. The child can choose to behave or misbehave and you've made it quite clear that there are consequences as a result of that choice: a nice trip out and about or...something, hopefully physical pain (j/k). But the sooner children learn this, the better adjusted they become to society and the faster they can move on to learning other social skills. You and Mercutio74 seem to be doing a great job, so keep it up!

For a non-member of the club, you seem to have quite a good understanding of it.  I remember the halcyon days of pre-parent me hearing everyone and their uncle say that kids are "testing their boundaries" yadda yadda yadda.  Not only is that true, but I always assumed it was a sub-conscious thing on their part...  nope, the little farkers consciously and with full knowledge of what's expected and what's taboo test the boundary of what they can get away with.  All the time my daughter will go to do something "bad" (like unplugging a piece of electronic equipment I'm using, for example)... but before she does, she'll pause, look right at me and smile like she's a Bond villain about to explain her whole plan to James Bond before retiring to the next room waiting for him to die in an elaborate and inefficient manner.

All she wants is to be noticed, told she's being a poop (yeah, well, she's four, I'm not going to call her a little shiat... that'll have to wait until she's at least 8-10 yrs old) and then she'll move on with her life.  More often than not, it looks to me that most kiddie misbehaviour is just kids wanting to be acknowledged and also bump up against the maximum amount of what they can get away with.  It becomes problematic when the kids never find a boundary.  And that's why this generation of parents suck... a sizeable number don't get that.


Thanks, that psych degree is finally useful for something ;-)

One of the nuggets of wisdom I learned here on Fark is, "Children are very good at being children. Your job as a parent is to teach them how to be adults." I think a parent was talking to another parent at the time, but I'm not 100% sure of that. But the line stuck with me ever since, and as I've spent time around my friends' kids, I've watched how their parents interacted with them with that in mind. I really think it is a case of the parents instilling a sense of society's rules in their children. And, surprise, the parents who were not raised in strict families raise kids who act out more because the boundaries change all the time. Or at least that's my take on it.

BUT...as a non-breeder, I am secretly pulling for all of you breeders out there to do a good job with your kids. I just need the world to keep itself together for another 40-50 years. Then I'll be pushing up the daisies and won't be able to give a fark. But YOUR grandkids are going to inherit the world shaped by YOUR kids. Think about that the next time you're at a "family" restaurant and you feel like letting your kids run wild.
 
2013-04-09 08:25:27 PM

Khell: I haven't given any parents dirty looks when they board a plane with their brood, but I have closed my eyes and taken a deep breath to prepare for what could be a long, loud ride. Fortunately, the last time I flew next to a family, Mom and Dad were prepared with an iPad for the older (5-ish) kid and the infant slept most of the way. And it was just a 2-hour flight. I have been on a flight to Hawaii with a rambunctious group of families traveling together, though. THAT was bad because the parents were busy talking while their kids were literally running up and down and across the aisles playing tag (it wasn't a full flight). Thank God for flight attendants who know their shiat and eventually put a stop to it!

I agree with the "nothing you can do" part, up to a point.  Got an infant?  Besides not bringing them on the plane in the first place, there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do if they are feeling bad and want to let the world know about it.

But 4+, I start expecting some amount of behaving.  CSB  - On my way back home from my honeymoon, there was an obviously frazzled looking mom with what appeared to be a 4 year old girl and a 5 year old boy (I'm horrible at judging age, adult or child).  The little boy was an unholy terror.  His little sister was sittin next to the window, mom in the middle, and boy on the aisle.  He was BAWLING and BAWLING that he wanted to be next to the window, telling his mom ...


you might not have a very good recollection...we tend to block these things out...but...

the first time you misbehaved, your mom and dad had the tip of your penor cut off.
you seemed to have learned your lesson.
 
2013-04-09 08:26:08 PM

Mercutio74: lostcat: Enjoy being surrounded by strangers who don't care about you in your waning years.

An a similar note...  before I had a kid, I though a lot about my own mortality.  I wondered if I'd look back and be satisfied when I'm old and that kind of stuff.  I don't really think about it that much anymore.  There's a definite and palpable purpose that comes with bringing someone you love into the world and preparing them to face the challenges that life will give them.  There's more deep meaning in my relationship with my daughter than any religion had ever offered me.

/And now, fark, you may mock me... :D


Not only will I NOT mock you, but I will say that it's a vital part of being Happy. Just watched that last night on Netflix. Check it out :-)
 
2013-04-09 08:30:33 PM

Popular Opinion: you might not have a very good recollection...we tend to block these things out...but...

the first time you misbehaved, your mom and dad had the tip of your penor cut off.
you seemed to have learned your lesson.


Hmm.  Maybe that's why the old man carried around a cigar cutter...  Never did see him actually SMOKE one.
 
2013-04-09 08:38:05 PM

cgraves67: Mitch Taylor's Bro: cgraves67: As a parent, I agree that there are a lot of bad parents in the world, but a lot of the ones people complain about, do the things they do because it is what works. You can go into parenting with a basic plan on how to handle feeding, clothing, and disciplining a child, but raising a child is similar to combat in the sense that, once engaged, all planning goes out the window. You simply have to do what works, even if the people around are annoyed or disapprove.

That's where you lost me. If the people around you are annoyed or disapprove, what you are doing is not working and you need to do something else.

There are always exceptions, such as if you HAVE to have your child with you while you're grocery shopping (because who expects you to get a babysitter just to run errands?) and your child HAS to have a meltdown, okay, you have to deal with both problems at once as best you can.

But if your child is having a meltdown at a "family" restaurant, that is not okay and it's time to teach your child the basic rules of society. How you do that is up to you, but if people if you try talking to your child or threatening them and others are still annoyed and disapprove of their behavior, try something else until they stop being annoyed and disapproving. That's how you know what you're doing is working.

That's what I mean. A parent has to be persistent and try different things until something works. Even with a pretty good child, some things that usually work don't always do it. So while you're escalating the severity of the discipline or trying different distractions, the people sitting around you are losing their cool. Sometimes you have to take a kid out of the situation to get their cooperation. Sometimes you have to walk around with them. I've had to do that and I feel bad for the people we are disturbing by meandering up and down the aisles. It had to be done though in order to have a happy kid who eats his dinner.


I can't speak for others, but if I see a parent TRYING to take control of the situation, and especially to the point where they have to leave until the kid calms down, that's enough for me. It's the ones who just ignore the kid or just keep trying more of the same stuff -- without escalation -- that I can't stand. Their kid knows who's in charge...and it's not the grownups.
 
2013-04-09 08:54:55 PM
When you have kids, it's time to stop hanging out with those who dont.  It's basically that simple.

And BTW, I absolutely control my kids behavior at a restaurant.  If I have to take the kid outside and spank her butt, I will.  And I did; once for each kid.  That was all it took to correct the behavior going forward.
 
2013-04-09 09:06:20 PM

babygoat: It's actually not that hard, but I'm not surprised you think so since you evidently don't know the difference between rate of breeding, and rate of growth. Think of a moving train trying to stop. It's slowing down, but still moving forward.

The point, in case you missed it, is let the goddamn train stop.


WTH? Seriously, go find who ever taught you calculus and tell him that first sentence to make him/her cry.

The rate is the first derivative of the curve you posted, the slope. It's getting smaller. Again, this is math.

The 'goddamn train' is stopping pretty quickly. The increase in life expectancy (just about everywhere except in a few shiatholes and the United 'farked up healthcare' States) is rapidly being overwhelmed by increased urbanization and 'socialist!11!' safety net programs making kids economically negative.

Freaking out about population growth is generally a sign of not knowing the facts or a sign of a guy trying to get into the pants of a hippy chick who does not know the facts.
 
2013-04-09 09:15:42 PM

archichris: Just face it, this is really about your love of your stuff and your inability to take real responsibility for anything.


Yes, I'm so irresponsible that I actually gave serious thought to a major life decision. But it was hard to find the time for careful and honest contemplation seeing as my days are spent wallowing in self-indulgence, wanton excess, and decadence. ;)

Sheesh, man, just accept that not everyone is the same and we all have different goals and objectives in life. Parenting is one option; not parenting is another. Makes no one better or worse. Do what's best for you and be happy about it. Stop feeling bitter and threatened by those who have chosen a different path.
 
2013-04-09 09:17:49 PM
Eh, she makes some good points and some of them fall flat or get lost in her angry rant. I'd say about par for web journalism.

That said, I do kinda-sorta see where parents are coming from now that there are kids in my home. (I'm not a parent. I'm a godparent with temporary custody while their mom gets some medical stuff taken care of.)

I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the only reason my godchildren behave well in restaurants is because I have trained them to very carefully and even then, I'm not taking them anyplace fancier than Denny's because the five-year-old's not ready to appreciate better food anyway. We pretend we are spies, blending in at a restaurant with perfect grownup manners, and if any other patrons realize that my secret agents are, in fact, ordinary children, then they have to be disavowed and might lose their double-O numbers or have to hand in their Nerf revolvers to Agent M. Between that and the fact that they are still short enough to be nearly invisible in booths, even with the booster thing the five-year-old uses, the system generally works.

They've even taken to splitting an order off the grownups' menu, because "The kids' menu would give us away, Aunt Spidey." It's actually kind of cute to see an eight-year-old boy inform a waitress that "The lady will have the BLT special, and the young lady and I would like to share the spaghetti with meatballs. And may we have a round of Sprite, please?" Some guys in their early fifties at another table picked up our tab for us out of nowhere one time and the waitress said it was because "they were so well-behaved!" My goddaughter had to be reassured on the way home that they were friendly agents, most likely the Canadians, and not the KGB, but apart from that, I felt like I was really, somehow, succeeding at this whole temporary-parent thing.

Of course, the time the five-year-old had a tantrum in the toy aisle of Target and her brother yelled "Eta kuram na smekh!" to make her stop (and damned if she didn't stop howling and stand up, walk to the cart and be quiet, muffling her little kid-sobs in her sleeve and looking mournfully at the toy she'd asked for,) was probably the best one. I sent them to go get two more items off the list, muffled my laughter and proud godmother-tears in my own sleeve and quietly picked up a couple of those blind-bag My Little Ponies and a little Lego kit, because while tantrums are Not Okay, stopping that tantrum cold when your older brother gives River Tam's shut-down phrase is farking rad and well worth a pair of $2 ponies and $10 worth of Legos for being a BAMF of a BBBFF. I gave them their toys late that evening, so as to make sure I didn't reinforce the tantrum behavior, and we had a long talk about Comic Timing and Why It Is a Valuable Skill.

On the one hand, I love them and can see how they're picking up things from me (and especially from my husband,) and will be very sad when they go back to their mom. On the other hand, it's farking terrifying how they're picking up things from me and my husband, and the very slim possibility that if their mom's health goes off the rails again they'll wind up with us for parents in the end...I really hope that doesn't happen. They deserve better.

But yes, I am starting to see where real parents are coming from. This godmothering thing...maybe I wouldn't suck as a real mother after all.
 
2013-04-09 09:35:41 PM

Khell: I agree with the "nothing you can do" part, up to a point. Got an infant? Besides not bringing them on the plane in the first place, there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do if they are feeling bad and want to let the world know about it.

But 4+, I start expecting some amount of behaving. CSB - On my way back home from my honeymoon, there was an obviously frazzled looking mom with what appeared to be a 4 year old girl and a 5 year old boy (I'm horrible at judging age, adult or child). The little boy was an unholy terror. His little sister was sittin next to the window, mom in the middle, and boy on the aisle. He was BAWLING and BAWLING that he wanted to be next to the window, telling his mom he hated her, and hitting her. A few times in the face. And she was just taking it, while everyone around her was looking at her wondering WTF was going on. This went on for a good hour and a half before Mom finally put the boy in the window seat. Even then he was still a little a**hole. I don't know if she was afraid people would think she was a bad mom, or if she would get in trouble, for swatting him on the behind or something. Or if she just normally let him go on like that.

I just can't even... It would have NEVER occurred to me to tell my mom I "hate" her, or to hit her. My folks never laid a hand on me, that I can remember, but then again they instilled some fear/respect into me as a child. I just always "knew" that they could discipline me, if I got out of line (they got it easy with me though... little sis? not so much ;))

My first is due in a few months, so I guess I'll know soon enough if my armchair parenting skills can actually translate into raising a decent human being :)


The reason I think parents on airplanes need to be given a break is they have fewer escalation options. They can't go in "time out" because they're confined to their seats. They can't take the unruly child outside (although, judging from some of the posts here, it would be offered as a suggestion). And if the kids are of spanking age (not that kind, you perverts), that just turns screaming about not getting to play with some toy into screaming about getting spanked.

The whole "meltdown on a plane" thing is a no-win situation for EVERYONE and the only thing to come out of it are more not-so-CSBs about that time you were trapped on an airplane with people who couldn't control their kids or that time all those rude passengers couldn't understand how hard it is to fly with kids.

Note: not all kid/airplane situations end in a meltdown. Some parents get it right, others are just lucky that their kid got a nap while waiting to board, etc. But if a meltdown happens, I'm not sure there's a lot a parent can do about it once the wheels are up and the no-smoking sign comes on.
 
2013-04-09 09:42:51 PM
No. YOU STFU and your crotch apples also.

/way late to the show
 
2013-04-09 10:47:04 PM
My Biggest Pet Peeve Is 'You Can't Imagine How Tired, Frustrated, Pain, Etc. Unless You've Had a Child - You know what, imaginary person who is annoyed with all of these things you have to deal with by virtue of being friends with the people who choose, for their own happiness, to continue repopulating the Earth: Either stop hanging out with parents, or stop biatching.

No, we aren't complaining that you complain that you're tired. We're complaining because parents like you feel the need to trivialize every legitimate gripe we might have by saying "Try doing it with kids," as if life is easy and meaningless without children. We get it. Kids are exhausting. But, when I spend 15 hours a day in 100+ degree heat three days in a row chopping up a massive farking oak tree and stacking the wood on the other side of the yard because, dammit, it has to be done before Monday rolls around because that's when the guys are coming to fix the roof, and then I complain about being tired, and you tell me I don't know what tired means because I don't have children? fark you.
 
2013-04-09 10:52:04 PM

1000 Ways to Dye: when I spend 15 hours a day in 100+ degree heat three days in a row chopping up a massive farking oak tree and stacking the wood on the other side of the yard because, dammit, it has to be done before Monday rolls around because that's when the guys are coming to fix the roof, and then I complain about being tired,


You should try doing that with kids under foot, then you'd know what tough is.
 
2013-04-09 11:00:04 PM
I just came here to say I don't mind when people post pictures of their kids, pets, meals, drinks on Facebook. The only thing I really don't like is the forwarded chain letters of the "Like this or else it means you hate Jesus!!!!" ilk.

On the subject of parents vs. child-free, however: As a child-free person I think I should be able to call in sick with a hangover as many times as parents call in sick to take care of a child. In an overpopulated world, having a kid is not morally superior to remaining childless and enjoying your freedom. One should not be privileged over the other.
 
2013-04-09 11:20:12 PM
Two things about airplanes:

1) Parents, is it really too much to ask that you knock your kids out with some Children's Benadryl? (Or maybe ask your doctor if there is a sedative suitable for children). Assuming you only fly a few times a year, your child is not going to become an addict.

2) One time I was moved from my aisle seat at the front of the plane to a middle seat at the rear of the plane so a mother could sit with her two school-age children. Hell yeah that pissed me off. I resisted for awhile, but eventually gave in out of courtesy to the other passengers.  You've got a lot of nerve, lady! And you suck, flight attendant!
 
2013-04-09 11:31:46 PM
First, Dustin Rowles is a happily married father. He is not a mom. The misogynistic insults in this thread are not only offensive but completely misguided.

Second, Dustin Rowles likes to troll people for hits. Pajiba is an entertainment blog, not a mombie blog, and Dustin takes on the tone and style of the people he's mocking to get extra hits.

Third, if you think someone is honestly arguing that everyone has to have kids to make sure the human race doesn't go extinct, you need to reevaluate how you read things on the Internet. If that doesn't scream "trolling," nothing will.
 
2013-04-09 11:38:12 PM
And with that, "non-breeders" can DIAF.
 
2013-04-09 11:45:55 PM

superdude72: On the subject of parents vs. child-free, however: As a child-free person I think I should be able to call in sick with a hangover as many times as parents call in sick to take care of a child. In an overpopulated world, having a kid is not morally superior to remaining childless and enjoying your freedom. One should not be privileged over the other.


I actually agree with that one. Have you considered becoming a godparent to some of your kid-having friends' children? You can borrow the kids for fun outings, take some pictures with them to hang in your office, bring them along to kid-friendly workplace events like the company trip to Six Flags, mention them at the water-cooler kid-story-sharing occasions and then any time you need a hangover day, you can reasonably claim that your great Bunbury of a kid-having friend is ill and you need to watch your little godson today. Bum luck when that actually happens and you've used a few days on hangovers, but it could be worse, and provided you spend a little part of each hangover-day either purchasing a toy or reading a story to the child in question, you're morally in the clear.

That, and children can be trained at an exceedingly early age to fix a coffee and Alka-Seltzer for their auntie, though you do have to specify separate cups.

It's been my experience that a child-free couple who have godchildren, little cousins, favorite nieces or similar involved in their lives get even more of a break than parents do, because we're looking after children that aren't ours and therefore presumably have more responsibility and less fun, when in fact, it's quite the opposite. And you'd be surprised how far two pictures in the office and a few funny anecdotes can go. I'm sure you know some reasonably cute and/or amusing children for Bunburying purposes.
 
2013-04-10 12:26:50 AM

Surpheon: 1000 Ways to Dye: when I spend 15 hours a day in 100+ degree heat three days in a row chopping up a massive farking oak tree and stacking the wood on the other side of the yard because, dammit, it has to be done before Monday rolls around because that's when the guys are coming to fix the roof, and then I complain about being tired,

You should try doing that with kids under foot, then you'd know what tough is.


If there had been kids under foot, they would've ended up in the log splitter.

/not by accident
//feet first, so you can see the look on their face
///slashies come in threes.
 
2013-04-10 01:03:03 AM
wasn't this article supposed to be written by a mom and not some dude named dustin rowles?

BUT after reading up about him, he has reason to be proud of his children http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/my_valentines_day_miracle_partner/
 
2013-04-10 01:26:13 AM

jigger: 7 whole dollars?


Plus tip!
 
2013-04-10 02:06:15 AM

Big John's Breakfast Log: archichris: Just face it, this is really about your love of your stuff and your inability to take real responsibility for anything.

Yes, I'm so irresponsible that I actually gave serious thought to a major life decision. But it was hard to find the time for careful and honest contemplation seeing as my days are spent wallowing in self-indulgence, wanton excess, and decadence. ;)

Sheesh, man, just accept that not everyone is the same and we all have different goals and objectives in life. Parenting is one option; not parenting is another. Makes no one better or worse. Do what's best for you and be happy about it. Stop feeling bitter and threatened by those who have chosen a different path.


I'm actually finding myself curious if he's JUST trolling, or if he's actually serious about his baby-crazy evangelizing.

I mean, peer pressure is a real thing, there are a lot of folk who do something (like drinking or smoking or squatting out kids) who just REALLY DON'T LIKE when you're not right there with them doing it too (side note: I've been in two "reverse interventions" involving drinkers wanting me to partake, very awkward).  But is this just "stop liking what I don't like" or is this some deep-seated cognitive dissonance over NOT having all the things he sacrificed in the name of spawning?

Or, again, is he just trolling?

/not condemning parents or being one myself
//still have little patience for shiat parenting.
 
2013-04-10 02:41:25 AM

CrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]

(BTW, the graph you posted is a teCrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]

Or in terms of wiki images if your prefer:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 640x303]

How is our population count still rising then?  Something isn't adding up


My car keeps slowing down, but I still keep moving forward.  I don't get it.
 
2013-04-10 04:58:11 AM

StarSys: I hate obnoxious parents that rage about how difficult their lives are. My wife and I spent $50,000 trying to have that chance and it still didn't work. STFU and be happy with what you have.


For years I've been craving oblivion like a cool drink of water, but I STFU and GBTW so that my kids can have a middle-class childhood (and a modicum of stability). As soon as they're educated and independent, all bets are off. Sorry to hear about your situation, though.
 
2013-04-10 10:26:36 AM

archichris: Profedius: My complaint has nothing to do with the kid running around or throwing a fit in the restaurant, store or anywhere for that matter it is when the parents ignore it for any length of time. As a parent you are responsible for your child and there is no reason you should delay reacting to your out of control child. A store is not so bad, but a restaurant with an out of control child and the parents or more often the case parent does nothing about it just fills me with so much rage that I to go over there and shoot them right in the face. The funny thing is that I am a really super easy going nice person that wouldn't hurt anyone.

So you have explosive personality disorder and you are borderline sociopathic...... and probably described as quiet by your neighbors.




No I would think that acting on the thoughts or even obsessing over them would indicate potency towards those disorders. Though it is true I do not hold the lives of people I do not know in high regard and would have no difficulty with ending them should the need arise, but that need would have to be to protect others or myself. No one that knows me would consider me a quiet person quite the opposite as I am very outgoing and extremely helpful. As an example after the hurricanes stuck this area over the years I have been known to strap on my tools and go from house to house in my area helping people remove debris and rebuild. I work as a network admin, but in my years I have had many jobs that provided me with all the skills needed to repair, replace or build anything in a home.
 
2013-04-10 04:09:51 PM
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaa sniffle sniffle waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa
 
2013-04-11 11:08:30 PM

Theadeaus: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa a aaaaa sniffle sniffle waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa


Young man, do we have to go outside?
 
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