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(Pajiba)   For a refreshing change, a mom posts a list of 10 things about which non-breeders need to ESS. TEE. EFF. YOO. (Update: Turns out the author is a dad)   (pajiba.com) divider line 421
    More: Hero, morning shows, Blair Koenig, mom, doctor's visit  
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23576 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2013 at 9:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-09 09:06:20 PM  

babygoat: It's actually not that hard, but I'm not surprised you think so since you evidently don't know the difference between rate of breeding, and rate of growth. Think of a moving train trying to stop. It's slowing down, but still moving forward.

The point, in case you missed it, is let the goddamn train stop.


WTH? Seriously, go find who ever taught you calculus and tell him that first sentence to make him/her cry.

The rate is the first derivative of the curve you posted, the slope. It's getting smaller. Again, this is math.

The 'goddamn train' is stopping pretty quickly. The increase in life expectancy (just about everywhere except in a few shiatholes and the United 'farked up healthcare' States) is rapidly being overwhelmed by increased urbanization and 'socialist!11!' safety net programs making kids economically negative.

Freaking out about population growth is generally a sign of not knowing the facts or a sign of a guy trying to get into the pants of a hippy chick who does not know the facts.
 
2013-04-09 09:15:42 PM  

archichris: Just face it, this is really about your love of your stuff and your inability to take real responsibility for anything.


Yes, I'm so irresponsible that I actually gave serious thought to a major life decision. But it was hard to find the time for careful and honest contemplation seeing as my days are spent wallowing in self-indulgence, wanton excess, and decadence. ;)

Sheesh, man, just accept that not everyone is the same and we all have different goals and objectives in life. Parenting is one option; not parenting is another. Makes no one better or worse. Do what's best for you and be happy about it. Stop feeling bitter and threatened by those who have chosen a different path.
 
2013-04-09 09:17:49 PM  
Eh, she makes some good points and some of them fall flat or get lost in her angry rant. I'd say about par for web journalism.

That said, I do kinda-sorta see where parents are coming from now that there are kids in my home. (I'm not a parent. I'm a godparent with temporary custody while their mom gets some medical stuff taken care of.)

I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the only reason my godchildren behave well in restaurants is because I have trained them to very carefully and even then, I'm not taking them anyplace fancier than Denny's because the five-year-old's not ready to appreciate better food anyway. We pretend we are spies, blending in at a restaurant with perfect grownup manners, and if any other patrons realize that my secret agents are, in fact, ordinary children, then they have to be disavowed and might lose their double-O numbers or have to hand in their Nerf revolvers to Agent M. Between that and the fact that they are still short enough to be nearly invisible in booths, even with the booster thing the five-year-old uses, the system generally works.

They've even taken to splitting an order off the grownups' menu, because "The kids' menu would give us away, Aunt Spidey." It's actually kind of cute to see an eight-year-old boy inform a waitress that "The lady will have the BLT special, and the young lady and I would like to share the spaghetti with meatballs. And may we have a round of Sprite, please?" Some guys in their early fifties at another table picked up our tab for us out of nowhere one time and the waitress said it was because "they were so well-behaved!" My goddaughter had to be reassured on the way home that they were friendly agents, most likely the Canadians, and not the KGB, but apart from that, I felt like I was really, somehow, succeeding at this whole temporary-parent thing.

Of course, the time the five-year-old had a tantrum in the toy aisle of Target and her brother yelled "Eta kuram na smekh!" to make her stop (and damned if she didn't stop howling and stand up, walk to the cart and be quiet, muffling her little kid-sobs in her sleeve and looking mournfully at the toy she'd asked for,) was probably the best one. I sent them to go get two more items off the list, muffled my laughter and proud godmother-tears in my own sleeve and quietly picked up a couple of those blind-bag My Little Ponies and a little Lego kit, because while tantrums are Not Okay, stopping that tantrum cold when your older brother gives River Tam's shut-down phrase is farking rad and well worth a pair of $2 ponies and $10 worth of Legos for being a BAMF of a BBBFF. I gave them their toys late that evening, so as to make sure I didn't reinforce the tantrum behavior, and we had a long talk about Comic Timing and Why It Is a Valuable Skill.

On the one hand, I love them and can see how they're picking up things from me (and especially from my husband,) and will be very sad when they go back to their mom. On the other hand, it's farking terrifying how they're picking up things from me and my husband, and the very slim possibility that if their mom's health goes off the rails again they'll wind up with us for parents in the end...I really hope that doesn't happen. They deserve better.

But yes, I am starting to see where real parents are coming from. This godmothering thing...maybe I wouldn't suck as a real mother after all.
 
2013-04-09 09:35:41 PM  

Khell: I agree with the "nothing you can do" part, up to a point. Got an infant? Besides not bringing them on the plane in the first place, there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do if they are feeling bad and want to let the world know about it.

But 4+, I start expecting some amount of behaving. CSB - On my way back home from my honeymoon, there was an obviously frazzled looking mom with what appeared to be a 4 year old girl and a 5 year old boy (I'm horrible at judging age, adult or child). The little boy was an unholy terror. His little sister was sittin next to the window, mom in the middle, and boy on the aisle. He was BAWLING and BAWLING that he wanted to be next to the window, telling his mom he hated her, and hitting her. A few times in the face. And she was just taking it, while everyone around her was looking at her wondering WTF was going on. This went on for a good hour and a half before Mom finally put the boy in the window seat. Even then he was still a little a**hole. I don't know if she was afraid people would think she was a bad mom, or if she would get in trouble, for swatting him on the behind or something. Or if she just normally let him go on like that.

I just can't even... It would have NEVER occurred to me to tell my mom I "hate" her, or to hit her. My folks never laid a hand on me, that I can remember, but then again they instilled some fear/respect into me as a child. I just always "knew" that they could discipline me, if I got out of line (they got it easy with me though... little sis? not so much ;))

My first is due in a few months, so I guess I'll know soon enough if my armchair parenting skills can actually translate into raising a decent human being :)


The reason I think parents on airplanes need to be given a break is they have fewer escalation options. They can't go in "time out" because they're confined to their seats. They can't take the unruly child outside (although, judging from some of the posts here, it would be offered as a suggestion). And if the kids are of spanking age (not that kind, you perverts), that just turns screaming about not getting to play with some toy into screaming about getting spanked.

The whole "meltdown on a plane" thing is a no-win situation for EVERYONE and the only thing to come out of it are more not-so-CSBs about that time you were trapped on an airplane with people who couldn't control their kids or that time all those rude passengers couldn't understand how hard it is to fly with kids.

Note: not all kid/airplane situations end in a meltdown. Some parents get it right, others are just lucky that their kid got a nap while waiting to board, etc. But if a meltdown happens, I'm not sure there's a lot a parent can do about it once the wheels are up and the no-smoking sign comes on.
 
2013-04-09 09:42:51 PM  
No. YOU STFU and your crotch apples also.

/way late to the show
 
2013-04-09 10:47:04 PM  
My Biggest Pet Peeve Is 'You Can't Imagine How Tired, Frustrated, Pain, Etc. Unless You've Had a Child - You know what, imaginary person who is annoyed with all of these things you have to deal with by virtue of being friends with the people who choose, for their own happiness, to continue repopulating the Earth: Either stop hanging out with parents, or stop biatching.

No, we aren't complaining that you complain that you're tired. We're complaining because parents like you feel the need to trivialize every legitimate gripe we might have by saying "Try doing it with kids," as if life is easy and meaningless without children. We get it. Kids are exhausting. But, when I spend 15 hours a day in 100+ degree heat three days in a row chopping up a massive farking oak tree and stacking the wood on the other side of the yard because, dammit, it has to be done before Monday rolls around because that's when the guys are coming to fix the roof, and then I complain about being tired, and you tell me I don't know what tired means because I don't have children? fark you.
 
2013-04-09 10:52:04 PM  

1000 Ways to Dye: when I spend 15 hours a day in 100+ degree heat three days in a row chopping up a massive farking oak tree and stacking the wood on the other side of the yard because, dammit, it has to be done before Monday rolls around because that's when the guys are coming to fix the roof, and then I complain about being tired,


You should try doing that with kids under foot, then you'd know what tough is.
 
2013-04-09 11:00:04 PM  
I just came here to say I don't mind when people post pictures of their kids, pets, meals, drinks on Facebook. The only thing I really don't like is the forwarded chain letters of the "Like this or else it means you hate Jesus!!!!" ilk.

On the subject of parents vs. child-free, however: As a child-free person I think I should be able to call in sick with a hangover as many times as parents call in sick to take care of a child. In an overpopulated world, having a kid is not morally superior to remaining childless and enjoying your freedom. One should not be privileged over the other.
 
2013-04-09 11:20:12 PM  
Two things about airplanes:

1) Parents, is it really too much to ask that you knock your kids out with some Children's Benadryl? (Or maybe ask your doctor if there is a sedative suitable for children). Assuming you only fly a few times a year, your child is not going to become an addict.

2) One time I was moved from my aisle seat at the front of the plane to a middle seat at the rear of the plane so a mother could sit with her two school-age children. Hell yeah that pissed me off. I resisted for awhile, but eventually gave in out of courtesy to the other passengers.  You've got a lot of nerve, lady! And you suck, flight attendant!
 
2013-04-09 11:31:46 PM  
First, Dustin Rowles is a happily married father. He is not a mom. The misogynistic insults in this thread are not only offensive but completely misguided.

Second, Dustin Rowles likes to troll people for hits. Pajiba is an entertainment blog, not a mombie blog, and Dustin takes on the tone and style of the people he's mocking to get extra hits.

Third, if you think someone is honestly arguing that everyone has to have kids to make sure the human race doesn't go extinct, you need to reevaluate how you read things on the Internet. If that doesn't scream "trolling," nothing will.
 
2013-04-09 11:38:12 PM  
And with that, "non-breeders" can DIAF.
 
2013-04-09 11:45:55 PM  

superdude72: On the subject of parents vs. child-free, however: As a child-free person I think I should be able to call in sick with a hangover as many times as parents call in sick to take care of a child. In an overpopulated world, having a kid is not morally superior to remaining childless and enjoying your freedom. One should not be privileged over the other.


I actually agree with that one. Have you considered becoming a godparent to some of your kid-having friends' children? You can borrow the kids for fun outings, take some pictures with them to hang in your office, bring them along to kid-friendly workplace events like the company trip to Six Flags, mention them at the water-cooler kid-story-sharing occasions and then any time you need a hangover day, you can reasonably claim that your great Bunbury of a kid-having friend is ill and you need to watch your little godson today. Bum luck when that actually happens and you've used a few days on hangovers, but it could be worse, and provided you spend a little part of each hangover-day either purchasing a toy or reading a story to the child in question, you're morally in the clear.

That, and children can be trained at an exceedingly early age to fix a coffee and Alka-Seltzer for their auntie, though you do have to specify separate cups.

It's been my experience that a child-free couple who have godchildren, little cousins, favorite nieces or similar involved in their lives get even more of a break than parents do, because we're looking after children that aren't ours and therefore presumably have more responsibility and less fun, when in fact, it's quite the opposite. And you'd be surprised how far two pictures in the office and a few funny anecdotes can go. I'm sure you know some reasonably cute and/or amusing children for Bunburying purposes.
 
2013-04-10 12:26:50 AM  

Surpheon: 1000 Ways to Dye: when I spend 15 hours a day in 100+ degree heat three days in a row chopping up a massive farking oak tree and stacking the wood on the other side of the yard because, dammit, it has to be done before Monday rolls around because that's when the guys are coming to fix the roof, and then I complain about being tired,

You should try doing that with kids under foot, then you'd know what tough is.


If there had been kids under foot, they would've ended up in the log splitter.

/not by accident
//feet first, so you can see the look on their face
///slashies come in threes.
 
2013-04-10 01:03:03 AM  
wasn't this article supposed to be written by a mom and not some dude named dustin rowles?

BUT after reading up about him, he has reason to be proud of his children http://www.salon.com/2013/02/15/my_valentines_day_miracle_partner/
 
2013-04-10 01:26:13 AM  

jigger: 7 whole dollars?


Plus tip!
 
2013-04-10 02:06:15 AM  

Big John's Breakfast Log: archichris: Just face it, this is really about your love of your stuff and your inability to take real responsibility for anything.

Yes, I'm so irresponsible that I actually gave serious thought to a major life decision. But it was hard to find the time for careful and honest contemplation seeing as my days are spent wallowing in self-indulgence, wanton excess, and decadence. ;)

Sheesh, man, just accept that not everyone is the same and we all have different goals and objectives in life. Parenting is one option; not parenting is another. Makes no one better or worse. Do what's best for you and be happy about it. Stop feeling bitter and threatened by those who have chosen a different path.


I'm actually finding myself curious if he's JUST trolling, or if he's actually serious about his baby-crazy evangelizing.

I mean, peer pressure is a real thing, there are a lot of folk who do something (like drinking or smoking or squatting out kids) who just REALLY DON'T LIKE when you're not right there with them doing it too (side note: I've been in two "reverse interventions" involving drinkers wanting me to partake, very awkward).  But is this just "stop liking what I don't like" or is this some deep-seated cognitive dissonance over NOT having all the things he sacrificed in the name of spawning?

Or, again, is he just trolling?

/not condemning parents or being one myself
//still have little patience for shiat parenting.
 
2013-04-10 02:41:25 AM  

CrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]

(BTW, the graph you posted is a teCrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]

Or in terms of wiki images if your prefer:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 640x303]

How is our population count still rising then?  Something isn't adding up


My car keeps slowing down, but I still keep moving forward.  I don't get it.
 
2013-04-10 04:58:11 AM  

StarSys: I hate obnoxious parents that rage about how difficult their lives are. My wife and I spent $50,000 trying to have that chance and it still didn't work. STFU and be happy with what you have.


For years I've been craving oblivion like a cool drink of water, but I STFU and GBTW so that my kids can have a middle-class childhood (and a modicum of stability). As soon as they're educated and independent, all bets are off. Sorry to hear about your situation, though.
 
2013-04-10 10:26:36 AM  

archichris: Profedius: My complaint has nothing to do with the kid running around or throwing a fit in the restaurant, store or anywhere for that matter it is when the parents ignore it for any length of time. As a parent you are responsible for your child and there is no reason you should delay reacting to your out of control child. A store is not so bad, but a restaurant with an out of control child and the parents or more often the case parent does nothing about it just fills me with so much rage that I to go over there and shoot them right in the face. The funny thing is that I am a really super easy going nice person that wouldn't hurt anyone.

So you have explosive personality disorder and you are borderline sociopathic...... and probably described as quiet by your neighbors.




No I would think that acting on the thoughts or even obsessing over them would indicate potency towards those disorders. Though it is true I do not hold the lives of people I do not know in high regard and would have no difficulty with ending them should the need arise, but that need would have to be to protect others or myself. No one that knows me would consider me a quiet person quite the opposite as I am very outgoing and extremely helpful. As an example after the hurricanes stuck this area over the years I have been known to strap on my tools and go from house to house in my area helping people remove debris and rebuild. I work as a network admin, but in my years I have had many jobs that provided me with all the skills needed to repair, replace or build anything in a home.
 
2013-04-10 04:09:51 PM  
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaa sniffle sniffle waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa
 
2013-04-11 11:08:30 PM  

Theadeaus: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa a aaaaa sniffle sniffle waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa


Young man, do we have to go outside?
 
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