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(Pajiba)   For a refreshing change, a mom posts a list of 10 things about which non-breeders need to ESS. TEE. EFF. YOO. (Update: Turns out the author is a dad)   (pajiba.com) divider line 421
    More: Hero, morning shows, Blair Koenig, mom, doctor's visit  
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23576 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2013 at 9:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-09 02:59:41 PM  

Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]

(BTW, the graph you posted is a teCrazyCracka420: Surpheon: CrazyCracka420: Do you realize we humans are breeding at exponential rates,

Human "breeding" rate has been dropping since 1963 and most demographers expect it to naturally go negative in our lifetimes (and that's assuming no disasters push it along). But that's just, you know, documented reality - don't bother to put your latte' down, I know you have to finish it up before heading to the gym in 26 minutes.

Oh rry

[upload.wikimedia.org image 512x320]

Or in terms of wiki images if your prefer:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 640x303]


How is our population count still rising then?  Something isn't adding up
 
2013-04-09 03:00:11 PM  

mbillips: Parents aren't taking their kids to nice restaurants because we don't want to waste our money on something the kid is going to push around his plate, throw at his sister, or complain about.

Bullshiat they aren't. Rich parents take their spoiled-rotten kids to extremely nice restaurants all the time. And let them run around the place as if it were Chuck E. Cheese. On the other hand, I've seen plenty of kids who are perfectly well-behaved at restaurants. Mostly they're Asian and Hispanic kids. You never see those kids riding around in a stroller at age five, either.


this. i expect kids in a family friendly restaurant. but i was mortified when a friend let his little girl get up on the table and sing at the melting pot.
 
2013-04-09 03:01:44 PM  

namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.


So very much this.  I've got two kids and I NEVER let them ruin anyone else's restaurant time for more than 15 seconds before taking them outside.  I've even dragged my friends kids/babies outside, sometimes much to their consternation.  "Family friendly" is not an invitation to ruin other paying customers evening, and if you believe it is you are part of the problem and an asshole.  Period.
 
2013-04-09 03:02:48 PM  

CrazyCracka420: How is our population count still rising then?  Something isn't adding up


Math is Hard. You should just go shopping.
 
2013-04-09 03:05:15 PM  
They all made me laugh.  I laughed hard at all the self righteous farkers she was just talking about.
 
2013-04-09 03:05:36 PM  
That was more whiny and entitled than any "Stupid other peoples kids" rant that I have ever read.

Why are we supposed to suck your dick because you couldn't master the art of birth control?
 
2013-04-09 03:11:24 PM  

cgraves67: That's what I mean. A parent has to be persistent and try different things until something works. Even with a pretty good child, some things that usually work don't always do it. So while you're escalating the severity of the discipline or trying different distractions, the people sitting around you are losing their cool. Sometimes you have to take a kid out of the situation to get their cooperation. Sometimes you have to walk around with them. I've had to do that and I feel bad for the people we are disturbing by meandering up and down the aisles. It had to be done though in order to have a happy kid who eats his dinner.


As someone without kids, let me just say thank you for your efforts. I actually smile when I see parents walking their kids up & down the aisle of a restaurant in an attempt to calm them - it lets me know you're a caring, responsible person who will probably raise another generation of caring, responsible people. Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I hate children or am bereft of empathy for people who've chosen to raise them.
 
2013-04-09 03:15:58 PM  

neongoats: Why are we supposed to suck your dick because you couldn't master the art of birth control?


If there was dick sucking involved earlier, the author could've avoided the whole "I'm offended that people don't go out of their way to accommodate my children" issue entirely.
 
2013-04-09 03:23:06 PM  
 
2013-04-09 03:24:25 PM  

Bumblefark: babygoat: Bumblefark: umad: Bumblefark: Still a fairly recent parent myself. I don't begrudge people getting irritated when a child is acting out in public. I don't want to be around that anymore than they do (and nobody understands that better than my own children, for what it's worth).

But, I still find amazing is the sheer number of people that get *preemptively* annoyed, in a a very demonstrative manner, simply by the presence of a small child or some fleeting moment of (god forbid) childlike behavior (e.g., the plaintive, world-weary sigh when me and my daughter sit down next to you in a public place).

Still waiting for some poor sucker to overstep his bounds, and throw his little adult-tantrum in a way that my kid actually notices. Because, at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my shiat...in a very demonstrative manner.

You are looking for an excuse to lose your shiat on someone because your comfort in public is obviously more important than theirs, so they need to STFU and deal with it. Yet you wonder why people are "preemptively annoyed" with you?

Here is your typical parent everybody.

...no, I said they need to not act like a jackass simply because my daughter sits down next to them in a public place. The implication was that rules of public courtesy apply even to small children in those spaces. And, yeah, if you decide to be rude to my kid simply for existing, I'm going to make your life a hell of a lot less pleasant in return. I'd do the same even if it wasn't my kid, because you're just human garbage...

...But, go ahead and be preemptively retarded about what I wrote, snowflake.

No, that was exactly what you said, you asshole.

*re-reads post*

So, you don't understand what "e.g." means, or how it functions within a text.

So, my toddler hasn't sharper reading comprehension skills than you. Got it.


e.g. certainly doesn't mean that whatever you say in the following paragraph doesn't count. Words have meanings.
 
2013-04-09 03:25:00 PM  

Surpheon: umad: And you would be wrong. I'm not that old.

If you were lying when you claimed to not have been a child in 1972 it's not my fault for believing it. Not to mention if you actually did benefit from all those programs you listed, you aren't merely ignorant of the programs they replaced or being an asshole, you're just another liar making shiat up to support your opinion. Isn't there a Tim Eyman campaign you can go volunteer at or something to keep busy?


I was playing devil's advocate when somebody posted something stupid, nothing more. I listed those programs because there are people who are old enough to have grown up before they were implemented and therefore shouldn't be paying for them according to the idiotic argument by the poster I was responding to.

By the way, you are what I was referring to when I mentioned the overwhelming sense of entitlement shown by breeders. Your little hissy-fit over such a stupid argument is telling.
 
2013-04-09 03:26:00 PM  

lostcat: santadog: Missicat: GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Fortunately I can pay for my own hospice/nursing home care....also, do parents really have kids just so they can have someone to take care of them when they get old? What if your kids have children of their own? Pretty selfish attitude...

This.  I opted not to give birth to my own waitstaff.    I can afford hospice because I didn't blow a million outfitting a mini me.

Enjoy being surrounded by strangers who don't care about you in your waning years.


Right...and having children gives you a 100% guarantee that won't happen to you.  Visit a few nursing homes and check to see how many lonely old folks WITH CHILDREN live there.
 
2013-04-09 03:27:24 PM  

Surpheon: it's not my fault for believing it.


Also, it is your fault that you don't know the difference between "us" and "I".
 
2013-04-09 03:29:31 PM  

CrazyCracka420: How is our population count still rising then?  Something isn't adding up


I'm guessing, but I think it's because you don't die immediately after you have kids, so you have a population of 2, they have a kid, now you have 3, but the next generation is smaller (1) than the previous generation (2) apply this on a larger scale and since people typically live to see grandchildren if not great grandchildren, than the decline in population would lag behind the falling growth rate.   That said, this is still an off the cuff guess.
 
2013-04-09 03:33:02 PM  

umad: Your little hissy-fit over such a stupid argument is telling.


I'm actually rather amused. For someone with the user name umad, you have an awfully thin skin. But yes, your argument was awfully stupid and your pathetic "depends on what is is" excuse is lame enough I'm just plunking you in ignore.
 
2013-04-09 03:36:51 PM  

notatrollorami: namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.

So very much this.  I've got two kids and I NEVER let them ruin anyone else's restaurant time for more than 15 seconds before taking them outside.  I've even dragged my friends kids/babies outside, sometimes much to their consternation.  "Family friendly" is not an invitation to ruin other paying customers evening, and if you believe it is you are part of the problem and an asshole.  Period.


Indeed. My grandmother liked to recount the time I was 3 and knocked a plant over in a Chinese restaurant because I wouldn't sit at the table. My father and I spent the rest of the meal in the car waiting for everyone else to eat their food. I think my grandmother liked telling the story because it showed my father's patience, where she woulda just smacked the shiat outta my ass and been done with it. Either way I learned if you wanted to eat a nice meal out you had to behave properly... and I was 3. So when I see your 5+ year old misbehaving in a public space like a restaurant or shopping mall I know you're a bad parent.
 
2013-04-09 03:38:06 PM  
Oh look: a bunch of degenerates on fark - who have never raised children because they are too cynical or selfish or damaged (or D, all of the above) - commenting on child rearing, and being complete self-obsessed douche bags about it. I.AM.Shocked!
 
2013-04-09 03:40:06 PM  

Surpheon: umad: Your little hissy-fit over such a stupid argument is telling.

I'm actually rather amused. For someone with the user name umad, you have an awfully thin skin. But yes, your argument was awfully stupid and your pathetic "depends on what is is" excuse is lame enough I'm just plunking you in ignore.


Man, you just ruined my day. My only goal in life is to impress you. I might just kill myself since you have cut me out of your life. I just don't have a reason to live anymore. Please PLEASE don't ignore me! I'll suck your dick!!!

I suppose I should tell you that the previous paragraph was sarcasm. I doubt a person who can't tell "I" from "us" can detect such things on their own.
 
2013-04-09 03:44:06 PM  

spiderpaz: Oh look: a bunch of degenerates on fark - who have never raised children because they are too cynical or selfish or damaged (or D, all of the above) - commenting on child rearing, and being complete self-obsessed douche bags about it. I.AM.Shocked!


Heh.  That kind of post is more effective if you get it in before the first hundred.  It also helps if you have, you know, read the thread too.
 
2013-04-09 03:46:55 PM  
I mean, I'm resigned to the fact that I'm forever going to be held economic hostage to someone else's offspring. I can deal with that, society, civilization, population dynamics, taxes, etc. Fine. Great. I'm not even pissed about it. WiC is a great program.

But I entirely reserve the right to never want to experience your little mistake in an adult setting. That's all. It's expected when I go to chuck-e-cheeze, not when I'm dining on a steak at 10:30pm.

My earliest memories begin at around age 4, and the strongest memories are about table manners and restaurant manners. Acting up at a formal dinner table(like grandmas house) or restaurant was NOT something permitted, at all, ever. How I was before my memories begin, I can't say. But I'm guessing my mom would have removed an unruly brat rather than offend my great grandmother by being unable to control them.

That's really all I ask. Ball gag your brat before taking them to a steak joint at 10pm.
 
2013-04-09 03:49:14 PM  

Hiro-ACiD: notatrollorami: namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.

So very much this.  I've got two kids and I NEVER let them ruin anyone else's restaurant time for more than 15 seconds before taking them outside.  I've even dragged my friends kids/babies outside, sometimes much to their consternation.  "Family friendly" is not an invitation to ruin other paying customers evening, and if you believe it is you are part of the problem and an asshole.  Period.

Indeed. My grandmother liked to recount the time I was 3 and knocked a plant over in a Chinese restaurant because I wouldn't sit at the table. My father and I spent the rest of the meal in the car waiting for everyone else to eat their food. I think my grandmother liked telling the story because it showed my father's patience, where she woulda just smacked the shiat outta my ass and been done with it. Either way I learned if you wanted to eat a nice meal out you had to behave properly... and I was 3. So when I see your 5+ year old misbehaving in a public space like a restaurant or shopping mall I know you're a bad parent.


That's almost precisely one of my childhood restaurant manners memories.
 
2013-04-09 04:05:50 PM  
Dancis_Frake:

/One colleague posted "happy birthday son" on his FB page every month, on the XXth. We got to share the brat's bloody growth curbs, sickness bulletins, play-doh pictures, etc for 2 bloody years. I didn't hide those from my newsfeed in order to learn what not to do when I'll have one of my own.

It took two years for you to learn that lesson?
 
2013-04-09 04:08:29 PM  

factoryconnection: namegoeshere: Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.

I've taken every single one of my kids outside of a restaurant, rain or shine, for a time out before.  I hate the perception that kids shouldn't be at any restaurants, but I'm not about to allow mine to contribute to kids' collective bad reputation there.

As a result, we often get complimented by staff and other patrons about our kids' demeanor.  Also, they are adventurous... nothing like seeing a waiter's jaw drop when a 5-y/o white kid orders "taco la lengua."

"You know that means 'beef tongue,' right?"
"BEEF TONGUE!"

The kid loves beef tongue, that's for damn certain.


This! Our kid was taught to behave in restaurants from the time she was three-weeks old (she mostly just slept then). When she was older, a noodle on her high chair tray would entertain her for almost the entire meal. When she was a toddler, she did once misbehave because she wanted to sit in the bar area on the high stools and we told her she had to sit in the restaurant area because we were there to eat. She began to pitch a fit and I picked her up and took her outside and told her that if she didn't behave, we would go home and she would not get to eat in this nice new restaurant, did she want that? No! That was the one and only time I had to take her out of any restaurant or public place.

She started to cry once when she mistook a blob of sour cream for whipped cream and scooped some into her mouth before I could explain to her what it was. She felt betrayed and started to cry, but one look from me and she stopped and swallowed instead.

She was a great restaurant companion, and we got the same sort of looks from servers when she did things like order broccoli instead of fries or was able to crack and consume (safely and neatly) her own crab legs.

Now she's a grown-up, married woman with a service dog that she's trained so well you would never know a dog was at the table. It's amazing.
 
2013-04-09 04:12:19 PM  
"You'll die alone."
We ALL die alone. Most people pass very suddenly, and many times very unexpectedly (like Elvis, while taking a dump). Having kids is no guarantee against being lonely or neglected in old age or getting to die surrounded by loved ones holding hands. Besides, there are things called spouses, friends, and relatives that remain intact even if you don't have children of your own.

"You'll regret it."
We ALL regret some choices we've made. Some people even (gasp!) regret their decision to have children. I will likely never summit Everest or deep-sea dive. But I can appreciate those who have (and see their photos and videos). If I ever do regret my choice to not have kids, it will be far easier to live with than the reverse.

I understand that kids can get out of control in public places. But what bothers me is when parents make no effort to correct it. If your kid spins around in their booth and stares at me while I'm eating, forgive me if I'm not amused. That's your cue to say, "Billy, turn around and mind your business". It shouldn't get to the point when I'm (in my imagination) starting to reach for their throat.
 
2013-04-09 04:21:44 PM  

babygoat: Bumblefark: babygoat: Bumblefark: umad: Bumblefark: Still a fairly recent parent myself. I don't begrudge people getting irritated when a child is acting out in public. I don't want to be around that anymore than they do (and nobody understands that better than my own children, for what it's worth).

But, I still find amazing is the sheer number of people that get *preemptively* annoyed, in a a very demonstrative manner, simply by the presence of a small child or some fleeting moment of (god forbid) childlike behavior (e.g., the plaintive, world-weary sigh when me and my daughter sit down next to you in a public place).

Still waiting for some poor sucker to overstep his bounds, and throw his little adult-tantrum in a way that my kid actually notices. Because, at that point, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my shiat...in a very demonstrative manner.

You are looking for an excuse to lose your shiat on someone because your comfort in public is obviously more important than theirs, so they need to STFU and deal with it. Yet you wonder why people are "preemptively annoyed" with you?

Here is your typical parent everybody.

...no, I said they need to not act like a jackass simply because my daughter sits down next to them in a public place. The implication was that rules of public courtesy apply even to small children in those spaces. And, yeah, if you decide to be rude to my kid simply for existing, I'm going to make your life a hell of a lot less pleasant in return. I'd do the same even if it wasn't my kid, because you're just human garbage...

...But, go ahead and be preemptively retarded about what I wrote, snowflake.

No, that was exactly what you said, you asshole.

*re-reads post*

So, you don't understand what "e.g." means, or how it functions within a text.

So, my toddler hasn't sharper reading comprehension skills than you. Got it.

e.g. certainly doesn't mean that whatever you say in the following paragraph doesn't count. Words have meanings


No, but it suggests that the meaning of what follows is probably contingent upon the illustration earlier provided.

Of course, even a well-crafted "e.g." isn't going to deter an aggressively stupid reader from playing free association with the context. That's where you come in, I suppose.

Because, really, unless you're going to white knight the passive-aggressive twat in my scenario, or suggest that *I'm* the entitled asshole for refusing to put up with it, then now would be a good time to just STFU.
 
2013-04-09 04:23:17 PM  
As a "in the near future" parent, I will agree that I hide from my Facebook parents who announce their kid's toilet habits. If you're going to announce that they're potty trained, do it once, and be vague. Don't tell me every time they took a crap NOT in their pants.

I would NEVER do that. Don't share the gross parts of parenthood. Even if you're proud, people who may even be parents themselves don't care about YOUR kid's bowel movements.
 
2013-04-09 04:29:41 PM  

Bumblefark: Because, really, unless you're going to white knight the passive-aggressive twat in my scenario, or suggest that *I'm* the entitled asshole for refusing to put up with it, then now would be a good time to just STFU.


Dude, I don't even have a horse in this race, but you realize that YOU'RE the one who said that you're literally waiting, hoping for someone to act poorly, so that you can unleash on them.  You've even got the damn fight already planned out in your mind and are looking forward to just the right moment to unleash it.

So you might want to think twice about throwing the term "passive-aggressive' around so freely.
 
2013-04-09 04:33:42 PM  

THX 1138: Bumblefark: Because, really, unless you're going to white knight the passive-aggressive twat in my scenario, or suggest that *I'm* the entitled asshole for refusing to put up with it, then now would be a good time to just STFU.

Dude, I don't even have a horse in this race, but you realize that YOU'RE the one who said that you're literally waiting, hoping for someone to act poorly, so that you can unleash on them.  You've even got the damn fight already planned out in your mind and are looking forward to just the right moment to unleash it.

So you might want to think twice about throwing the term "passive-aggressive' around so freely.


Really...show me where I "literally" said I was hoping for someone to act poorly. I'll wait.
 
2013-04-09 04:41:10 PM  

soia: I wonder if people truly understand how unimportant we really are in the grand scheme of things.


So very much this.
 
2013-04-09 04:46:39 PM  

lostcat: santadog: Missicat: GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Fortunately I can pay for my own hospice/nursing home care....also, do parents really have kids just so they can have someone to take care of them when they get old? What if your kids have children of their own? Pretty selfish attitude...

This.  I opted not to give birth to my own waitstaff.    I can afford hospice because I didn't blow a million outfitting a mini me.

Enjoy being surrounded by strangers who don't care about you in your waning years.


Enjoy the same but with an extra dollop of unjustified sense of betrayal when your spawn put you in "the home" and skip town.
 
2013-04-09 04:59:00 PM  

kumanoki: JPSimonetti: First off, this is not sarcasm ... Using fear as a tactic to keep kids in line is absolutely a great way to get them to pull it together in public. I use that card with my 9 year old a few times a month. A very sharp glare and pointed finger is all it takes for him to straighten up, and it doesn't cause a scene. He knows what's coming next. It is that fear that makes him straighten up. It was that fear that kept ME in line as a kid. It works, and it's more humane than constant beatings. (my father and I have a great relationship these days. it did ...

As a parent, I've found that fear is not as potent as guilt. Fear puts the onus on the parent, guilt puts the onus on the child. That may sound terrible, but fear only works up the point that people realize they have nothing to lose. Guilt will keep a person locked down indefinitely.


I can only go by how my parents raised me, but they used fear while I think I was too young to understand guilt, then brought out the big guns.

When I got in trouble at around five years old, I fully expected to get a spanking and they dropped the "d-bomb." They said something to the effect of "You're not a little boy anymore, so we're not going to spank you. But we're very DISAPPOINTED in you because you know better than to do [whatever it was I did]. We still love you, but...[blah, blah, blah]."

That shiat hurts just as bad as, and maybe worse than, a spanking -- and doesn't leave any evidence behind for CPS to use against them!
 
2013-04-09 05:29:29 PM  
Breeder here.

Child's first word was not "No."

Also, children do not use the word "want."  Ever.

Grocery checkout is a delight.

//steps off soapbox
 
2013-04-09 05:57:26 PM  
exterminate everyone, children included. debate solved, humans suck, shut the fark up.
 
2013-04-09 06:00:13 PM  
My complaint has nothing to do with the kid running around or throwing a fit in the restaurant, store or anywhere for that matter it is when the parents ignore it for any length of time. As a parent you are responsible for your child and there is no reason you should delay reacting to your out of control child. A store is not so bad, but a restaurant with an out of control child and the parents or more often the case parent does nothing about it just fills me with so much rage that I to go over there and shoot them right in the face. The funny thing is that I am a really super easy going nice person that wouldn't hurt anyone.
 
2013-04-09 06:05:38 PM  

Generation_D: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Can't wait to see how her lil snowflakes turn out. Mom sure seems precious and unique herself.
The whole thing is amusing angry fail, "Area Mom Gets Angry At Everyone" Onion kind of stuff... one can only wonder whether 1) she's a single parent or 2) the husband is glad she has time to froth and foam on the computer so he can get some time to himself.


The best part is that when you are in a nursing home pooping into an adult diaper and waiting for the staff to pick a booger for you......you will be waiting on the kids you hate so much. No one will give a fark what you think or why you dont want to die. Because you are an old bitter childless indigent who cannot relate to anything beyond his own need to poop.

I hope I go out in style with my kids around me and a Gin n Tonic in  my hand. Seriously if I just kick it at Christmas with like a hundred grand kids partying in my house and im sitting in a chair real quiet like and then someone notices my ice has melted...... Totally cool with that.

I just hope I dont go out like you, staring fixedly at the door to the room of the nursing home hoping beyond hope that someone who gives a fark will turn the knob.
 
2013-04-09 06:07:20 PM  

Profedius: My complaint has nothing to do with the kid running around or throwing a fit in the restaurant, store or anywhere for that matter it is when the parents ignore it for any length of time. As a parent you are responsible for your child and there is no reason you should delay reacting to your out of control child. A store is not so bad, but a restaurant with an out of control child and the parents or more often the case parent does nothing about it just fills me with so much rage that I to go over there and shoot them right in the face. The funny thing is that I am a really super easy going nice person that wouldn't hurt anyone.


So you have explosive personality disorder and you are borderline sociopathic...... and probably described as quiet by your neighbors.
 
2013-04-09 06:10:10 PM  

Big John's Breakfast Log: "You'll die alone."
We ALL die alone. Most people pass very suddenly, and many times very unexpectedly (like Elvis, while taking a dump). Having kids is no guarantee against being lonely or neglected in old age or getting to die surrounded by loved ones holding hands. Besides, there are things called spouses, friends, and relatives that remain intact even if you don't have children of your own.

"You'll regret it."
We ALL regret some choices we've made. Some people even (gasp!) regret their decision to have children. I will likely never summit Everest or deep-sea dive. But I can appreciate those who have (and see their photos and videos). If I ever do regret my choice to not have kids, it will be far easier to live with than the reverse.

I understand that kids can get out of control in public places. But what bothers me is when parents make no effort to correct it. If your kid spins around in their booth and stares at me while I'm eating, forgive me if I'm not amused. That's your cue to say, "Billy, turn around and mind your business". It shouldn't get to the point when I'm (in my imagination) starting to reach for their throat.


No seriously, you will die alone, and you will regret it. Because it isnt the dying that sucks....its the months and months that lead up to it where you are totally and completely alone as your friends realize your impending death and begin to emotionally isolate themselves from the grief by spending less time with you. And your spouse....if you are still married.....will be alone after you kick. So even if you beat the odds and die from old age while still married you are condemning her to dying alone. 

Just face it, this is really about your love of your stuff and your inability to take real responsibility for anything.
 
2013-04-09 06:16:19 PM  

archichris: I hope I go out in style with my kids around me and a Gin n Tonic in my hand. Seriously if I just kick it at Christmas with like a hundred grand kids partying in my house and im sitting in a chair real quiet like and then someone notices my ice has melted...... Totally cool with that.


Or one of your kids grows up to be a thieving, schizophrenic meth-addict, who stabs you to steal your tools for pawning! All sorts of shiat can happen.
 
2013-04-09 06:37:42 PM  

ItsJustJake: There are idiots on both sides. I've seen idiot parents, and I've seen idiot childless people, and each side also has good representation as well.

I control my child, and do it well. No tantrums, no outrageous behavior - she knows it's not allowed - and because of that, she's generally very well behaved. If words are required or a scene starts, Outside We Go until it's over.  PS - she's also good on airplanes, but that doesn't stop people from giving us dirty looks when we bring her on the plane. Don't assume how anyone will act in any situation. Judge them all by their actions, not by what you THINK their actions might be.


See, an airplane is one of those times when the childless have to just roll with it. There is nothing a parent can do and walking up and down the aisle with the kid is only going to upset people all over the plane. It sucks, but it probably sucks for the parent(s) even worse.

I haven't given any parents dirty looks when they board a plane with their brood, but I have closed my eyes and taken a deep breath to prepare for what could be a long, loud ride. Fortunately, the last time I flew next to a family, Mom and Dad were prepared with an iPad for the older (5-ish) kid and the infant slept most of the way. And it was just a 2-hour flight. I have been on a flight to Hawaii with a rambunctious group of families traveling together, though. THAT was bad because the parents were busy talking while their kids were literally running up and down and across the aisles playing tag (it wasn't a full flight). Thank God for flight attendants who know their shiat and eventually put a stop to it!
 
2013-04-09 06:52:50 PM  
It's actually not that hard, but I'm not surprised you think so since you evidently don't know the difference between rate of breeding, and rate of growth. Think of a moving train trying to stop. It's slowing down, but still moving forward.

The point, in case you missed it, is let the goddamn train stop.
 
2013-04-09 06:54:15 PM  
That was to "Math is hard". So is quoting on a phone apparently.
 
2013-04-09 07:58:39 PM  
"Sir ,or Miss...the considerate thing for you to do at this very moment is for you to take your child outside until he/she calms down".

that is all.

ignore me at your peril. if you want you kid to go home repeating every swear word in my arsenal, I can play the "who can be more inconsiderate" game with you.
 
2013-04-09 08:09:54 PM  

Sharksfan: I've seen a lot of talk in this thread about "how do you deal with unruly children".  I mentioned a few things (aka, "give them something to do") but I haven't really seen anyone use this word yet: expectations.

If  you have kids you simply can not put them in ANY situation without giving them expectations first and hope it will succeed.  They may need some guidance/course correction once in that situation but you have to do the up front "work".  It takes all of 30 seconds:

"We are all going to a restaurant tonight.  There are no loud voices, no running, etc etc ....or there will be no dessert and there WILL be early bed time".

...or....

"Grandma doesn't hear well so make sure you look right at her and speak loudly and use your 'please' and 'thank you'-s".

And you have to temper this sometimes with..

"I want you to scream and play and have fun and throw water balloons at me as much as you want to".  After, they are kids. They need to blow off steam like the rest of us.

If you didn't set the behavioral expectation - you are the one to blame.


I heart you so much. I bet your kids are (mostly) well behaved :-)
 
2013-04-09 08:19:04 PM  

Mitch Taylor's Bro: ItsJustJake: ... PS - she's also good on airplanes, but that doesn't stop people from giving us dirty looks when we bring her on the plane. Don't assume how anyone will act in any situation. Judge them all by their actions, not by what you THINK their actions might be.

See, an airplane is one of those times when the childless have to just roll with it. There is nothing a parent can do and walking up and down the aisle with the kid is only going to upset people all over the plane. It sucks, but it probably sucks for the parent(s) even worse.

I haven't given any parents dirty looks when they board a plane with their brood, but I have closed my eyes and taken a deep breath to prepare for what could be a long, loud ride. Fortunately, the last time I flew next to a family, Mom and Dad were prepared with an iPad for the older (5-ish) kid and the infant slept most of the way. And it was just a 2-hour flight. I have been on a flight to Hawaii with a rambunctious group of families traveling together, though. THAT was bad because the parents were busy talking while their kids were literally running up and down and across the aisles playing tag (it wasn't a full flight). Thank God for flight attendants who know their shiat and eventually put a stop to it!


I agree with the "nothing you can do" part, up to a point.  Got an infant?  Besides not bringing them on the plane in the first place, there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do if they are feeling bad and want to let the world know about it.

But 4+, I start expecting some amount of behaving.  CSB  - On my way back home from my honeymoon, there was an obviously frazzled looking mom with what appeared to be a 4 year old girl and a 5 year old boy (I'm horrible at judging age, adult or child).  The little boy was an unholy terror.  His little sister was sittin next to the window, mom in the middle, and boy on the aisle.  He was BAWLING and BAWLING that he wanted to be next to the window, telling his mom he hated her, and hitting her.  A few times in the face.  And she was just taking it, while everyone around her was looking at her wondering WTF was going on.  This went on for a good hour and a half before Mom finally put the boy in the window seat.  Even then he was still a little a**hole.  I don't know if she was afraid people would think she was a bad mom, or if she would get in trouble, for swatting him on the behind or something.  Or if she just normally let him go on like that.

I just can't even...  It would have NEVER occurred to me to tell my mom I "hate" her, or to hit her.  My folks never laid a hand on me, that I can remember, but then again they instilled some fear/respect into me as a child.  I just always "knew" that they could discipline me, if I got out of line (they got it easy with me though...  little sis?  not so much ;))

My first is due in a few months, so I guess I'll know soon enough if my armchair parenting skills can actually translate into raising a decent human being :)
 
2013-04-09 08:22:23 PM  

Mercutio74: Mitch Taylor's Bro: Non-breeder here, so take this with the appropriately sized grain of salt.

It's more than fear. It's making the connection between choices and their consequences. The child can choose to behave or misbehave and you've made it quite clear that there are consequences as a result of that choice: a nice trip out and about or...something, hopefully physical pain (j/k). But the sooner children learn this, the better adjusted they become to society and the faster they can move on to learning other social skills. You and Mercutio74 seem to be doing a great job, so keep it up!

For a non-member of the club, you seem to have quite a good understanding of it.  I remember the halcyon days of pre-parent me hearing everyone and their uncle say that kids are "testing their boundaries" yadda yadda yadda.  Not only is that true, but I always assumed it was a sub-conscious thing on their part...  nope, the little farkers consciously and with full knowledge of what's expected and what's taboo test the boundary of what they can get away with.  All the time my daughter will go to do something "bad" (like unplugging a piece of electronic equipment I'm using, for example)... but before she does, she'll pause, look right at me and smile like she's a Bond villain about to explain her whole plan to James Bond before retiring to the next room waiting for him to die in an elaborate and inefficient manner.

All she wants is to be noticed, told she's being a poop (yeah, well, she's four, I'm not going to call her a little shiat... that'll have to wait until she's at least 8-10 yrs old) and then she'll move on with her life.  More often than not, it looks to me that most kiddie misbehaviour is just kids wanting to be acknowledged and also bump up against the maximum amount of what they can get away with.  It becomes problematic when the kids never find a boundary.  And that's why this generation of parents suck... a sizeable number don't get that.


Thanks, that psych degree is finally useful for something ;-)

One of the nuggets of wisdom I learned here on Fark is, "Children are very good at being children. Your job as a parent is to teach them how to be adults." I think a parent was talking to another parent at the time, but I'm not 100% sure of that. But the line stuck with me ever since, and as I've spent time around my friends' kids, I've watched how their parents interacted with them with that in mind. I really think it is a case of the parents instilling a sense of society's rules in their children. And, surprise, the parents who were not raised in strict families raise kids who act out more because the boundaries change all the time. Or at least that's my take on it.

BUT...as a non-breeder, I am secretly pulling for all of you breeders out there to do a good job with your kids. I just need the world to keep itself together for another 40-50 years. Then I'll be pushing up the daisies and won't be able to give a fark. But YOUR grandkids are going to inherit the world shaped by YOUR kids. Think about that the next time you're at a "family" restaurant and you feel like letting your kids run wild.
 
2013-04-09 08:25:27 PM  

Khell: I haven't given any parents dirty looks when they board a plane with their brood, but I have closed my eyes and taken a deep breath to prepare for what could be a long, loud ride. Fortunately, the last time I flew next to a family, Mom and Dad were prepared with an iPad for the older (5-ish) kid and the infant slept most of the way. And it was just a 2-hour flight. I have been on a flight to Hawaii with a rambunctious group of families traveling together, though. THAT was bad because the parents were busy talking while their kids were literally running up and down and across the aisles playing tag (it wasn't a full flight). Thank God for flight attendants who know their shiat and eventually put a stop to it!

I agree with the "nothing you can do" part, up to a point.  Got an infant?  Besides not bringing them on the plane in the first place, there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do if they are feeling bad and want to let the world know about it.

But 4+, I start expecting some amount of behaving.  CSB  - On my way back home from my honeymoon, there was an obviously frazzled looking mom with what appeared to be a 4 year old girl and a 5 year old boy (I'm horrible at judging age, adult or child).  The little boy was an unholy terror.  His little sister was sittin next to the window, mom in the middle, and boy on the aisle.  He was BAWLING and BAWLING that he wanted to be next to the window, telling his mom ...


you might not have a very good recollection...we tend to block these things out...but...

the first time you misbehaved, your mom and dad had the tip of your penor cut off.
you seemed to have learned your lesson.
 
2013-04-09 08:26:08 PM  

Mercutio74: lostcat: Enjoy being surrounded by strangers who don't care about you in your waning years.

An a similar note...  before I had a kid, I though a lot about my own mortality.  I wondered if I'd look back and be satisfied when I'm old and that kind of stuff.  I don't really think about it that much anymore.  There's a definite and palpable purpose that comes with bringing someone you love into the world and preparing them to face the challenges that life will give them.  There's more deep meaning in my relationship with my daughter than any religion had ever offered me.

/And now, fark, you may mock me... :D


Not only will I NOT mock you, but I will say that it's a vital part of being Happy. Just watched that last night on Netflix. Check it out :-)
 
2013-04-09 08:30:33 PM  

Popular Opinion: you might not have a very good recollection...we tend to block these things out...but...

the first time you misbehaved, your mom and dad had the tip of your penor cut off.
you seemed to have learned your lesson.


Hmm.  Maybe that's why the old man carried around a cigar cutter...  Never did see him actually SMOKE one.
 
2013-04-09 08:38:05 PM  

cgraves67: Mitch Taylor's Bro: cgraves67: As a parent, I agree that there are a lot of bad parents in the world, but a lot of the ones people complain about, do the things they do because it is what works. You can go into parenting with a basic plan on how to handle feeding, clothing, and disciplining a child, but raising a child is similar to combat in the sense that, once engaged, all planning goes out the window. You simply have to do what works, even if the people around are annoyed or disapprove.

That's where you lost me. If the people around you are annoyed or disapprove, what you are doing is not working and you need to do something else.

There are always exceptions, such as if you HAVE to have your child with you while you're grocery shopping (because who expects you to get a babysitter just to run errands?) and your child HAS to have a meltdown, okay, you have to deal with both problems at once as best you can.

But if your child is having a meltdown at a "family" restaurant, that is not okay and it's time to teach your child the basic rules of society. How you do that is up to you, but if people if you try talking to your child or threatening them and others are still annoyed and disapprove of their behavior, try something else until they stop being annoyed and disapproving. That's how you know what you're doing is working.

That's what I mean. A parent has to be persistent and try different things until something works. Even with a pretty good child, some things that usually work don't always do it. So while you're escalating the severity of the discipline or trying different distractions, the people sitting around you are losing their cool. Sometimes you have to take a kid out of the situation to get their cooperation. Sometimes you have to walk around with them. I've had to do that and I feel bad for the people we are disturbing by meandering up and down the aisles. It had to be done though in order to have a happy kid who eats his dinner.


I can't speak for others, but if I see a parent TRYING to take control of the situation, and especially to the point where they have to leave until the kid calms down, that's enough for me. It's the ones who just ignore the kid or just keep trying more of the same stuff -- without escalation -- that I can't stand. Their kid knows who's in charge...and it's not the grownups.
 
2013-04-09 08:54:55 PM  
When you have kids, it's time to stop hanging out with those who dont.  It's basically that simple.

And BTW, I absolutely control my kids behavior at a restaurant.  If I have to take the kid outside and spank her butt, I will.  And I did; once for each kid.  That was all it took to correct the behavior going forward.
 
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