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(Pajiba)   For a refreshing change, a mom posts a list of 10 things about which non-breeders need to ESS. TEE. EFF. YOO. (Update: Turns out the author is a dad)   (pajiba.com) divider line 421
    More: Hero, morning shows, Blair Koenig, mom, doctor's visit  
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23576 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2013 at 9:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-09 08:31:14 AM  
Oh snap!
 
2013-04-09 08:33:55 AM  
Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.
 
2013-04-09 08:34:32 AM  
A mommy blog. Outstanding. That's something the internet, not to mention a lot of facebook feeds, hasn't seen much of yet.
 
2013-04-09 08:38:44 AM  

Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.


Can't wait to see how her lil snowflakes turn out. Mom sure seems precious and unique herself.
The whole thing is amusing angry fail, "Area Mom Gets Angry At Everyone" Onion kind of stuff... one can only wonder whether 1) she's a single parent or 2) the husband is glad she has time to froth and foam on the computer so he can get some time to himself.
 
2013-04-09 08:54:46 AM  
I'll get the popcorn. The shaking of impotent, hipster, childless douche-fists and water-retaining, vomit-layered, parent-hands in this thread is going to be an awesome spectacle.
 
2013-04-09 08:56:02 AM  

Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.


Having kids will do that to you.
 
2013-04-09 09:05:16 AM  
Unless I'm missing it, the mom's name is Dustin Rowles.  That's a weird name for a mom.
 
2013-04-09 09:05:22 AM  
That was a lot of noise. I'm a good parent, so that stuff doesn't apply to me.

Well, off to take my two toddlers for brunch at the Marriott and post pictures on Facebook of them elbow deep in the chocolate fountain.
 
2013-04-09 09:16:27 AM  
 STFU, Childless People: The 10 Most Annoying Complaints From Non-Breeders About Parents Reasons I Should Have Never Reproduced.

Let's just fix that up.
 
2013-04-09 09:17:06 AM  

For a refreshing change, a mom posts a list


I do not plan to read the list. I plan to assume that the author shrieking harpy is angry about being a subpar parent and is jealous of people who do not have to deal with her children.
 
2013-04-09 09:18:08 AM  
She sounds like a bad parent.
 
2013-04-09 09:18:18 AM  
That's why we go out, dumbass. We just paid $7 plus (a very generous) tip for a crappy grilled cheese sandwich so we wouldn't have to deal with that mess.

The person who wrote that should have her head smashed in with a ball-peen hammer.
 
2013-04-09 09:18:24 AM  
Am I the only one who laughed my (child-free) a** off after reading this?  Seriously lady, switch to decaf.
 
2013-04-09 09:18:31 AM  
It's not that you are a breeder, it's that you are an asshole.
 
2013-04-09 09:19:03 AM  
I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.
 
2013-04-09 09:19:44 AM  
If I hear one more non-breeder complain about a parents failure to "control their kid" based on that one shiatty little brat they saw throwing a tantrum in the middle of Wal-Mart, I'm going to go apoplectic. For every tantrum-throwing little sh*t, there are 300 well-adjusted children who don't have to be removed from a situation, and yet it is this complaint that is most often cited.

Non sequitur much? We aren't complaining about the children who aren't throwing a tantrum.

/non-parent
//active godisafairytalefather to 6 year old
 
2013-04-09 09:20:30 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: For a refreshing change, a mom posts a list


I do not plan to read the list. I plan to assume that the author shrieking harpy is angry about being a subpar parent and is jealous of people who do not have to deal with her children.


It's mostly her making assumptions on behalf of the non-breeders.

A few strawmen, so I stopped reading it myself.

I think most of the problems would be solved if kids under 12 were kept on a leash when in public.
 
2013-04-09 09:20:43 AM  
This list was about as fair and objective as most anti-parent rants.  I have no problem with it.  Was the blogger a little vitriolic, sure, but that is probably a reaction to a lot of the 'I shouldn't have to be slightly inconvenienced for your decision to breed' self centered attitude that is so prevalent.
 
2013-04-09 09:20:44 AM  

PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.
 
2013-04-09 09:20:57 AM  
Dont worry parents, non breeders will non breed themselves out of the population in a few generations.
 
2013-04-09 09:21:55 AM  
Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets?

You should, my dog's way cuter than that ugly dollop of mayonnaise you call a baby.
 
2013-04-09 09:22:27 AM  

abadabba: Dont worry parents, non breeders will non breed themselves out of the population in a few generations.


Unfortunately.  Self-centered, entitled, whiny non-breeders grow up to become self-centered, entitled, helicopter breeders.
 
2013-04-09 09:22:31 AM  

snuff3r: I'll get the popcorn. The shaking of impotent, hipster, childless douche-fists and water-retaining, vomit-layered, parent-hands in this thread is going to be an awesome spectacle.


There's not much to argue about, sorry. It's just one person saying "Yeah, well you're...you're just as obnoxious about your pets! And you just can't understand my plight!". Not too much to reply to.
 
2013-04-09 09:22:38 AM  
I hate obnoxious parents that rage about how difficult their lives are. My wife and I spent $50,000 trying to have that chance and it still didn't work. STFU and be happy with what you have.
 
2013-04-09 09:22:58 AM  
FTFA:  2.Control Your Children in Restaurants - Look, if you see a kid at a restaurant, more times than not, it's because you've chosen to go to a "family" restaurant, and "family" often means loud-mouthed litte (sic) brats.

9.What Really Annoys Me Is When Parents Yell at their Kids But Never Get Out of Their Chair and Deal with the Kid - Well, how are we supposed to "deal with it"? We yelled at the kid, didn't we?



biatch, please.  Your parents would have handled this shiat.  Why can't you?


/ When I was a kid, a "time out" meant my dad took time out of his busy day to whip my ass.
 
2013-04-09 09:23:22 AM  

GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.


Fortunately I can pay for my own hospice/nursing home care....also, do parents really have kids just so they can have someone to take care of them when they get old? What if your kids have children of their own? Pretty selfish attitude...
 
2013-04-09 09:23:32 AM  

GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.


Easily the best part of the article.  Geez ... what is it with dog owners?  And the ones who are parents post more pics of the dogs than the kids.
 
2013-04-09 09:23:42 AM  
Hero tag needs a bit of Obvious or Sad.  Can't decide which.
 
2013-04-09 09:23:50 AM  
If you're not posting pictures of your children or pets, you're probably posting pictures of your meals. Or your choice of alcoholic beverages.

I don't really want to see pictures of anything short of a two headed eagle or some good arson.
 
2013-04-09 09:24:18 AM  
That's a lot of whine and examples of "it's ok because other similarly annoying people" that aren't liked either
 
2013-04-09 09:24:47 AM  

MycroftHolmes: This list was about as fair and objective as most anti-parent rants.  I have no problem with it.  Was the blogger a little vitriolic, sure, but that is probably a reaction to a lot of the 'I shouldn't have to be slightly inconvenienced for your decision to breed' self centered attitude that is so prevalent.


Pretty much this. Few things are more irritating than a kids freaking out in public, but since I'm not a kid myself I just farking deal with it. This mom's a lot of things, wrong not among them.

abadabba: Dont worry parents, non breeders will non breed themselves out of the population in a few generations.


The wealthy and comfortable tend to be the K-strategists. Poor folks will always be more numerous.
 
2013-04-09 09:24:49 AM  
But if you choose to eat comfort food with the masses anyway, you can shove your judgmental stares. I know you think if you were in our position, you'd grab that whiny little sh*t and take him or her home the second he acted out, but you wouldn't.

Sure I would, that's what my parents did.

And there was no dinner provided after that.
 
2013-04-09 09:25:22 AM  

PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


Dead-Ender?
 
2013-04-09 09:25:50 AM  
Look: We already did all that, and we found our spouses, and we got married, and we had kids SO WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT ANYMORE.

Oh, look, an unattractive joyless biatch.
 
2013-04-09 09:26:16 AM  

towatchoverme: GORDON: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Names are only funny when you can label the OTHER person with them.

FTA: " If you regularly post pictures or talk about your dogs, cats, or other pets on Facebook, just don't even. Really, do you have any idea how little we care about how adorable your puppy looks peeking out from under the blankets? But do we constantly give you sh*t about it, or talk smack about you behind your back? No. We "Like" your post like the good goddamn friends we are because if it makes you happy, it makes us happy, even if that worthless damn pet of yours will never be able to pay for your hospice care. "

Funny because it is true.

Easily the best part of the article.  Geez ... what is it with dog owners?  And the ones who are parents post more pics of the dogs than the kids.


Can we go ahead and outlaw the word "furbaby?"
 
2013-04-09 09:26:58 AM  
#4 forgot to include the "I've babysat plenty of kids to know......"
 
2013-04-09 09:27:10 AM  
Congratulations, you've mastered one of the most basic biological processes. Pardon me while I stop the world to celebrate how amazing you are because you figured out how to procreate.

I mean, I like kids and all, but can we seriously stop this ridiculous sense of superiority that some (admittedly not most) parents have just because they worked out how to produce offspring?
 
2013-04-09 09:27:13 AM  
Am I the only one who has ever left a restaraunt with a toddler who couldn't handle it? That one pisses me off. No I will not put up wil my kid acting like a little monster in public, "family friendly" or not. This chick does not speak for all of us.
 
2013-04-09 09:27:42 AM  
Full disclosure, I'm a parent of a 4 yr old girl.

The article makes some good points, but number 9 is bullshiat.  Whenever my precious snowflake is doing something that isn't very precious and is annoying/hurting/generally shiat disturbing others and she doesn't respond to my chairbourne correction, I get up and deal with her....  usually by crouching down in front of her, telling her I want to talk to her, explaining why what she's doing isn't acceptable and threatening her with a time out if she continues.  If that doesn't take care of it, then I follow through with the time out unless she behaves.

Why do I do this?  Because I want my chair-based words of correction to farking mean something.  My sister in law shrieks at her children and they don't give a fark because they know it doesn't mean anything.  On the other hand, the 9 times out of 10 when I calmly tell her to stop doing something stupid and other parents tell me how well behaved she is, it's not because she's awesome (which she is, I have to be honest) it's because she knows that there are consistent and knowable consequences to misbehaving and it's more fun to find something else to get into.

We have plenty of ways to make our kids behave without thrashing them or inducing some kind of cruelty...  if your kid is misbehaving it's probably because you don't follow through on your correction of their behaviour and they know you're full of shiat.
 
2013-04-09 09:27:54 AM  

xanadian: Mugato: Wow, that is one obnoxious biatch.

Having kids will do that to you.


What excuse to non-breeders use?

News Flash: There are obnoxious assholes in the world. Some have kids, some don't.
 
2013-04-09 09:28:12 AM  

TomD9938: PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.

Dead-Ender?


Self-Darwiner?
 
2013-04-09 09:28:38 AM  
Kids don't bother me at all.  In fact, I like kids.  What I can't stand are the goddam parents who expect everyone to treat their children as if they're the center of the universe.
 
2013-04-09 09:28:56 AM  

neversubmit: It's not that you aren't a breeder, it's that you are an asshole.


FTFY
Choosing to live your life wrapped in self absorption doesn't make you a better person.
 
2013-04-09 09:29:04 AM  
7 whole dollars?
 
2013-04-09 09:29:05 AM  

Rev.K: That was a lot of noise. I'm a good parent, so that stuff doesn't apply to me.

Well, off to take my two toddlers for brunch at the Marriott and post pictures on Facebook of them elbowknee deep in the chocolate fountain.


FTFM
 
2013-04-09 09:29:36 AM  

MycroftHolmes: This list was about as fair and objective as most anti-parent rants.  I have no problem with it.  Was the blogger a little vitriolic, sure, but that is probably a reaction to a lot of the 'I shouldn't have to be slightly inconvenienced for your decision to breed' self centered attitude that is so prevalent.


I agree, but I also as a parent of three little kids agree with the complaints 1, 2, 2a, 9 and sometimes 7.  Sure, people complain too much about kids in public, as we'll see in spades in this thread, but there are too many parents that simply drop the reins.  Also, you can put a spread-out napkin or two under a high-chair to catch the debris that would be caught at home by a dog.  It isn't a lot of effort and you can then give the dropped food back to the butterfingered kid.

And, yes, SAHMs post way too many f*cking pictures of their kids on Facebook.  I see several kids on there more often than I see my own.  Learn to separate the wheat from the chaff, ladies!
 
2013-04-09 09:29:50 AM  

PanicMan: I refuse to accept the term  "non-breeder" in any way, shape, or form.


But you have no compunction call people 'breeders'
 
2013-04-09 09:30:06 AM  
I wonder if people truly understand how unimportant we really are in the grand scheme of things.
 
2013-04-09 09:30:15 AM  
As a parent one of the most important skills I hope to bestow upon my children is to not give a shiat what some dumbarse hipster thinks.
 
2013-04-09 09:30:49 AM  
I'm a proud "non-breeder" (that term is as stupid as crotch dropping), but I also don't harangue parents in public if their kids start acting up.  Just because some people do, doesn't mean we all do.  The only time I'll say anything to a parent about their parenting skills is if I see them hitting their kid.  Not spanking on the bottom, I mean smacking in the face with an open hand.  Then you best believe you're going to get an earful from me, and I dare you to smack ME in the face.

The problem here is the same with the atheist vs. believer argument; it's always the vocal minority that ends up speaking for the majority.  Not all parents are shiatty, inattentive control freaks and not all childless people are whiny douchebags.
 
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