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(io9)   Stupid scientists ask "Could you outrun a TRex?" when they should be asking, "Can you outrun your research assistant in the event of a TRex attack?"   (io9.com ) divider line
    More: Silly, research assistant, velociraptor, Allosaurus, scientific journals, t-rex, Standard Model, dinosaurs  
•       •       •

2961 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Apr 2013 at 11:40 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2013-04-08 10:29:36 AM  
Thanks for the laugh

+1
 
2013-04-08 10:37:09 AM  
If all else fails...

naoseiondeblog.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-08 10:37:20 AM  
I'm pretty sure I can outrun a rock, yeah
 
2013-04-08 10:54:02 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm pretty sure I can outrun a rock, yeah


upload.wikimedia.org

Think so?
 
2013-04-08 10:57:28 AM  
Shoot it in the thigh with any rifle designed for dangerous African game, or better yet, a .50 BMG.  That would almost certainly wound it enough that it couldn't run anymore, but merely hobble.
 
2013-04-08 11:04:51 AM  

dittybopper: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm pretty sure I can outrun a rock, yeah

[upload.wikimedia.org image 350x276]

Think so?


Nothing was mentioned about assisted acceleration.
 
2013-04-08 11:21:47 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: dittybopper: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm pretty sure I can outrun a rock, yeah

[upload.wikimedia.org image 350x276]

Think so?

Nothing was mentioned about assisted acceleration.


Fair enough.  Unassisted rock:

cosmicdiary.org
 
2013-04-08 11:26:21 AM  

dittybopper: MaudlinMutantMollusk: dittybopper: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm pretty sure I can outrun a rock, yeah

[upload.wikimedia.org image 350x276]

Think so?

Nothing was mentioned about assisted acceleration.

Fair enough.  Unassisted rock:

[cosmicdiary.org image 620x413]


Aw, come on, man.... gravity is assistance, too.

/I meant a goddamned fossil, ok?
//sheesh
 
2013-04-08 11:41:53 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: dittybopper: MaudlinMutantMollusk: dittybopper: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm pretty sure I can outrun a rock, yeah

[upload.wikimedia.org image 350x276]

Think so?

Nothing was mentioned about assisted acceleration.

Fair enough.  Unassisted rock:

[cosmicdiary.org image 620x413]

Aw, come on, man.... gravity is assistance, too.

/I meant a goddamned fossil, ok?
//sheesh


OK, OK, can you out-run this fossil:

i499.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-08 11:44:00 AM  
"Run as fast as you can, and if it's catching up, reach behind you and throw some it its face."
"Some what?"
"Don't worry, it'll be there."
 
2013-04-08 11:44:29 AM  
Just fall down and play dead.  They like that game.
 
2013-04-08 11:45:25 AM  
Research assistant won't be running because I will have tripped him.
 
2013-04-08 11:46:04 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: dittybopper: MaudlinMutantMollusk: dittybopper: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm pretty sure I can outrun a rock, yeah

[upload.wikimedia.org image 350x276]

Think so?

Nothing was mentioned about assisted acceleration.

Fair enough.  Unassisted rock:

[cosmicdiary.org image 620x413]

Aw, come on, man.... gravity is assistance, too.

/I meant a goddamned fossil, ok?
//sheesh


Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming.
 
2013-04-08 11:46:21 AM  
The real question isn't if you can outrun it, but how tasty it is
 
2013-04-08 11:47:24 AM  
Credibility in this story depends on how fast Jesus had to run to catch the dinosaur to ride one.
 
2013-04-08 11:47:55 AM  
Depends on what size hi heels he wears
 
2013-04-08 11:48:08 AM  
Must go faster.
 
2013-04-08 11:48:13 AM  

No Time To Explain: The real question isn't if you can outrun it, but how tasty it is


Tastes like chicken.

A big, 6 ton chicken.
 
2013-04-08 11:48:38 AM  

No Time To Explain: The real question isn't if you can outrun it, but how tasty it is


You sound fat.
 
2013-04-08 11:48:44 AM  
you know what they couldn't outrun?  Bunnies.

theiaoh.com

Study it out people, it's right there on the internet.
 
2013-04-08 11:49:00 AM  
i45.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-08 11:49:13 AM  

dittybopper: No Time To Explain: The real question isn't if you can outrun it, but how tasty it is

Tastes like chicken.

A big, 6 ton chicken.


I'm more concerned about the 6 foot turkeys personally.
 
2013-04-08 11:50:18 AM  
If there were only a web comic dedicated to making plans escaping from raptors...
 
2013-04-08 11:50:59 AM  
I can bang a gong, and get it on.  As long as he doesn't think I'm competition, he'll probably leave me alone.
 
2013-04-08 11:51:45 AM  

swankywanky: you know what they couldn't outrun?  Bunnies.

[theiaoh.com image 592x614]

Study it out people, it's right there on the internet.


Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes.
 
2013-04-08 11:54:35 AM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: dittybopper: No Time To Explain: The real question isn't if you can outrun it, but how tasty it is

Tastes like chicken.

A big, 6 ton chicken.

I'm more concerned about the 6 foot turkeys personally.


images.wikia.com
 
2013-04-08 11:54:49 AM  
I can outrun Barney.
 
2013-04-08 11:55:07 AM  
Just hope he doesn't bring friends...

i49.tinypic.com
 
2013-04-08 11:56:58 AM  
Sooo, we're estimating a running speed for a creature that has been extinct for "millions" of years, based on their skeletol structure and height/weight/mass? I like to keep an open mind, but whatever scientific "evidence" that's been accrued is still flawed by the fact NO ONE KNOWS. Hypothosise all you want, but the simple fact IS, all we have are fossilized remains, not cave paintings, or hyroglyphic interpretations. If they perfect cloning of such a creature, publish THOSE findings. Can I outrun a T-Rex? I DONT KNOW....and neither do the eggheads...
 
2013-04-08 11:59:02 AM  
Humans (those that condition themselves) are actually amongst the best species at endurance running.  Homo sapiens have springy tendons in their legs, allowing an efficient running stride.  We sweat, giving us a swift means to dissipate heat.  Experienced runners can maintain a reasonable speed over a distances of tens of miles.

For comparison, cheetahs are the fastest land animal, but they're only good at short sprints.  They exhaust themselves quickly and cannot make another sprint until after a long cool-down.

If a human is starting their run with a separation between then and the T-rex, they might actually be able to outrun one.  While we're not the fastest species by a long measure, we can run for about the longest.

Human vs Horse:
http://www.slate.com/articles/sports/sports_nut/2012/06/long_distanc e_ running_and_evolution_why_humans_can_outrun_horses_but_can_t_jump_high er_than_cats_.html

Adaptations for endurance running:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endurance_running_hypothesis
 
2013-04-08 12:02:50 PM  
Difficulty: The T-Rex is a robot and it comes running out of a TARDIS.
 
2013-04-08 12:11:50 PM  
But can it chase a female T Rex around a desk?
 
2013-04-08 12:12:12 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: MaudlinMutantMollusk: dittybopper: MaudlinMutantMollusk: dittybopper: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm pretty sure I can outrun a rock, yeah

[upload.wikimedia.org image 350x276]

Think so?

Nothing was mentioned about assisted acceleration.

Fair enough.  Unassisted rock:

[cosmicdiary.org image 620x413]

Aw, come on, man.... gravity is assistance, too.

/I meant a goddamned fossil, ok?
//sheesh

Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming.


"Where were going is the only place where, ah, the geese chase you!"
 
2013-04-08 12:13:22 PM  

dittybopper: Representative of the unwashed masses: dittybopper: No Time To Explain: The real question isn't if you can outrun it, but how tasty it is

Tastes like chicken.

A big, 6 ton chicken.

I'm more concerned about the 6 foot turkeys personally.


THAT is a 6 foot jive turkey.

/ we would make very tasty snacks for most carnivorous dinosaurs
 
2013-04-08 12:15:22 PM  
What the hell?

It's only been 20 years, and there's not a single picture from Jurassic Park?
 
2013-04-08 12:23:37 PM  

Bondith


Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes.


Thank you, Anya.


I'll never tell
 
2013-04-08 12:51:13 PM  

Bondith: swankywanky: you know what they couldn't outrun?  Bunnies.

[theiaoh.com image 592x614]

Study it out people, it's right there on the internet.

Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes.


They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses.
 
2013-04-08 01:09:39 PM  
Sooo, we're estimating a running speed for a creature that has been extinct for "millions" of years, based on their skeletol structure and height/weight/mass? I like to keep an open mind, but whatever scientific "evidence" that's been accrued is still flawed by the fact NO ONE KNOWS. Hypothosise all you want, but the simple fact IS, all we have are fossilized remains, not cave paintings, or hyroglyphic interpretations. If they perfect cloning of such a creature, publish THOSE findings. Can I outrun a T-Rex? I DONT KNOW....and neither do the eggheads...

Wrong
We actually used this question in a Physics 103 lab on pendulums. A leg is a pendulum, and as such it has a specific natural period based on its length (your normal walking speed). You can push it faster, but only up to a point (4 times the natural frequency) - after that the bone breaks. Race horses have been known to break bones coming out of the gate. It has nothing to do with them getting tangled, they are just attempting to run faster than their bones can handle. Thus you can come up with a maximum speed based on leg length alone. If their bones were reinforced with something stronger, that maximum would go up as the limit could be 6 or 8 times the natural frequency instead of just 4.
 
2013-04-08 01:11:33 PM  

theMagni: What the hell?

It's only been 20 years, and there's not a single picture from Jurassic Park?


vafammoc.files.wordpress.com

"Malcolm get rid of the flare!"
 
2013-04-08 01:13:47 PM  

iheartscotch: we would make very tasty snacks for most carnivorous dinosaurs


Not me.

I'd do something just about every one in the JP movies fails to even think about:  I'd be making myself some weapons.  A stout, straight tree branch with a fire-hardened sharp point, or perhaps even a knapped spear head, would go a long way to providing some protection.

That's not saying I couldn't be eaten, just that I'd do my damnedest porcupine impression and make sure they really, really, *REALLY* wanted to ingest me.

That's assuming, of course, that I'm in the Jurassic Park Universe, where guns just don't work.  Otherwise I'll shoot them instead.
 
2013-04-08 01:24:14 PM  

NotARocketScientist: Sooo, we're estimating a running speed for a creature that has been extinct for "millions" of years, based on their skeletol structure and height/weight/mass? I like to keep an open mind, but whatever scientific "evidence" that's been accrued is still flawed by the fact NO ONE KNOWS. Hypothosise all you want, but the simple fact IS, all we have are fossilized remains, not cave paintings, or hyroglyphic interpretations. If they perfect cloning of such a creature, publish THOSE findings. Can I outrun a T-Rex? I DONT KNOW....and neither do the eggheads...

Wrong
We actually used this question in a Physics 103 lab on pendulums. A leg is a pendulum, and as such it has a specific natural period based on its length (your normal walking speed). You can push it faster, but only up to a point (4 times the natural frequency) - after that the bone breaks. Race horses have been known to break bones coming out of the gate. It has nothing to do with them getting tangled, they are just attempting to run faster than their bones can handle. Thus you can come up with a maximum speed based on leg length alone. If their bones were reinforced with something stronger, that maximum would go up as the limit could be 6 or 8 times the natural frequency instead of just 4.


OK, but on THAT note, there is still MUCH speculation of the gravitational force at that time, due to the, still, formation of earth.Im just saying, there many unknown variables. Hypothetical is nice for the formation of other theories, but we have very little "fact" about that time period. As I said, I'm trying to keep an open mind...
 
2013-04-08 01:27:09 PM  

ElLoco: Just hope he doesn't bring friends...

[i49.tinypic.com image 600x531]


I miss Epicus Maximus.
 
2013-04-08 01:37:18 PM  

Ryder79: OK, but on THAT note, there is still MUCH speculation of the gravitational force at that time, due to the, still, formation of earth.


No, there isn't.  It was pretty much the same as it is now.  There is *ZERO* speculation of the gravitational force.  Oxygen content of the air?  Maybe.

/Or have I just bit?
 
2013-04-08 01:37:58 PM  

Keizer_Ghidorah: ElLoco: Just hope he doesn't bring friends...

[i49.tinypic.com image 600x531]

I miss Epicus Maximus.


I miss Sillius Soddus.
 
2013-04-08 02:03:00 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.com

Could you outfly one?
 
2013-04-08 02:08:46 PM  
You don't have to be faster than the T-Rex.  You only have to be faster than your research assistant.
 
2013-04-08 02:25:31 PM  
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-04-08 02:26:33 PM  

DVDave: You don't have to be faster than the T-Rex.  You only have to be faster than your research assistant.


Yes, that was the joke stated in the headline.
 
2013-04-08 04:02:22 PM  

Ryder79: Sooo, we're estimating a running speed for a creature that has been extinct for "millions" of years, based on their skeletol structure and height/weight/mass? I like to keep an open mind, but whatever scientific "evidence" that's been accrued is still flawed by the fact NO ONE KNOWS. Hypothosise all you want, but the simple fact IS, all we have are fossilized remains, not cave paintings, or hyroglyphic interpretations. If they perfect cloning of such a creature, publish THOSE findings. Can I outrun a T-Rex? I DONT KNOW....and neither do the eggheads...


How about seeing if you could outrun the dinosaur's closest living relative?
images.nationalgeographic.com
 
2013-04-08 04:04:25 PM  

dittybopper: iheartscotch: we would make very tasty snacks for most carnivorous dinosaurs

Not me.

I'd do something just about every one in the JP movies fails to even think about:  I'd be making myself some weapons.  A stout, straight tree branch with a fire-hardened sharp point, or perhaps even a knapped spear head, would go a long way to providing some protection.

That's not saying I couldn't be eaten, just that I'd do my damnedest porcupine impression and make sure they really, really, *REALLY* wanted to ingest me.

That's assuming, of course, that I'm in the Jurassic Park Universe, where guns just don't work.  Otherwise I'll shoot them instead.


Indeed.

I always kind of wondered why the island didn't have a battalion of security personnel with heavy machine guns, rocket launchers, tanks and apache helicopters. I'd, personally, find a very tall tree to hang out in. Hopefully, they let me have my mosin; because then I'd eat the 6 ft turkeys as opposed to them eating me.

/ I also wondered why they didn't just make the V.raptor enclosure taller; that way, they couldn't jump out. Also, I wondered why they wouldn't make the doors fail in the locked position.
 
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