If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(HelenaIR.com)   Outside of a dog, $500 is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, you have to follow him around and pick what's left of the money out of his poop, piece it back together, then gross out various bank tellers while trying to get fresh bills   (helenair.com) divider line 66
    More: Amusing, Federal Reserve, dogs  
•       •       •

5197 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Apr 2013 at 5:48 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-04-07 05:01:10 PM  
Part Labrador.
 
2013-04-07 05:14:15 PM  
Hooray for the poopie dog!
 
2013-04-07 05:36:41 PM  
www.westernfreepress.com
 
2013-04-07 05:41:08 PM  
Knowing the way my dog eats my girlfriend's underwear, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say these bills spent time in a stripper's G String, thus the undesirable taste to the dog.

But I guess that does assume someone was tipping really well.
 
2013-04-07 05:48:24 PM  
If only the dog's name was Benjie.
 
2013-04-07 05:57:40 PM  
Man's best friend? You can keep the mutt, I'll take the $500.
 
2013-04-07 06:00:27 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-04-07 06:01:11 PM  

"Go ahead, Tony. Do something terrible."


www.hotflick.net

 
2013-04-07 06:01:11 PM  

Sgygus: Part Labrador.


Has to be. Of all the dogs in the world Labs have the tendency to be the biggest assholes!
 
2013-04-07 06:03:28 PM  
Left in a vehicle in December in Denver while the owners eat a meal?  Good boy. Good dog.
 
2013-04-07 06:03:30 PM  
"Sundance is notorious for eating anything and everything, so right away I knew what happened," Klinkel said.

And for that, you deserve what ever comes out of that dog.
 
2013-04-07 06:05:41 PM  
"Inside of a dog it's very dark." ~  Groucho Marx
 
2013-04-07 06:06:41 PM  

Eric The Pilot: [i.imgur.com image 850x636]


Damn, I don't know why but when I saw that I started laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes, the Old Lady came over to see what I was laughing about, slapped thwe back of my head, called me a goof and walked off chuckling.

/If my dog ate 500, I am afraid I would just have to write it off,  my dignity ah who am I kidding I'm both too lazy and to squeamish to follow the mutt around to get it back
 
2013-04-07 06:08:00 PM  
The turd burglar strikes again.
 
2013-04-07 06:08:01 PM  
Hey, what's in this ****, man?

Mostly Maui-wowie, man.

Yeah?

But it's got some Labrador in it.

What's Labrador?

It's dog ****.

What?

Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man. Had it on the table, and the little
m**f**er ate it, man.

Yeah?

I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days before I
got it back. Really blew the dog's mind.

You mean we're smoking dog ****, man?

a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2013-04-07 06:09:31 PM  
"I thought 'You dumb SOB,'" Klinkel recalled with a rueful laugh. "I couldn't believe he did that."

Rueful remorse after remembering what the "B" stands for?
 
2013-04-07 06:10:01 PM  
His local banks sure dicked him around.
 
2013-04-07 06:12:58 PM  
Oh man, and I thought I was pissed when my dog chewed through my ethernet cable..
 
2013-04-07 06:15:27 PM  

Dragonflew: Left in a vehicle in December in Denver while the owners eat a meal?  Good boy. Good dog.


Denver's average December temp is in the mid-40s and 70s are not rare.  People are walking around in shorts.
 
2013-04-07 06:16:34 PM  

swahnhennessy: His local banks sure dicked him around.


Banks don't have to take any crap from customers.
 
2013-04-07 06:17:01 PM  
"Have to" follow him around and pick pieces of bills out of his poop?  I certainly wouldn't do that for $500.

/ Though this does give me a great idea for a reality game show where rich people feed money to dogs, and contestants try to recover the bills from their poo.
// Still better than half the reality shows out there
 
2013-04-07 06:17:52 PM  
When my labrador was young he would sometimes root around in the garbage.  I vividly remember on a walk one day he assumed the "position", strained for a bit, then moved on for a few feet, assumed the position again....nothing.  After several attempts on his part, I started to pay attention.  I bent over and looked closely.  To my surprise there was something white just poking out of his nether region.  It looked like the top of a Clorox wipe sticking out.

I quickly looked around, assessed the situation (no one around) and gave the wipe a tug.  It came out in one pull.  An undamaged paper towel had made it's way through his digestive track in one piece (Bounty really are stronger and more absorbent apparently).  I bought a new trash can with a lid the next day.   Apparently, he had found and eaten one of the bacon fat soaked paper towels I had thrown in the trash after microwaving bacon.

He's gone to doggie Valhalla now.  RIP buddy...my old canine, disgusting, "handi-wipe" dispensing friend.
 
2013-04-07 06:18:59 PM  
I'd eat the $500.

OK, wait, let me rephrase that.
 
2013-04-07 06:19:04 PM  

Mr. Breeze: Sgygus: Part Labrador.

Has to be. Of all the dogs in the world Labs have the tendency to be the biggest assholes!


Nah, Labs aren't assholes. They may be a bit preoccupied with assholes, however. And food. And stuff that comes out of assholes. And chewing on stuff. And also food.

/They have a very, very broad definition of food.
//Wonderful dogs, though.
 
2013-04-07 06:20:12 PM  

AGremlin: When my labrador was young he would sometimes root around in the garbage.  I vividly remember on a walk one day he assumed the "position", strained for a bit, then moved on for a few feet, assumed the position again....nothing.  After several attempts on his part, I started to pay attention.  I bent over and looked closely.  To my surprise there was something white just poking out of his nether region.  It looked like the top of a Clorox wipe sticking out.

I quickly looked around, assessed the situation (no one around) and gave the wipe a tug.  It came out in one pull.  An undamaged paper towel had made it's way through his digestive track in one piece (Bounty really are stronger and more absorbent apparently).  I bought a new trash can with a lid the next day.   Apparently, he had found and eaten one of the bacon fat soaked paper towels I had thrown in the trash after microwaving bacon.

He's gone to doggie Valhalla now.  RIP buddy...my old canine, disgusting, "handi-wipe" dispensing friend.


You can win a year's supply of Bounty paper towels with that story.  Did you save the proof?
 
2013-04-07 06:23:33 PM  

Sum Dum Gai: "Have to" follow him around and pick pieces of bills out of his poop?  I certainly wouldn't do that for $500.

/ Though this does give me a great idea for a reality game show where rich people feed money to dogs, and contestants try to recover the bills from their poo.
// Still better than half the reality shows out there


Let's Make a Doodie!


"Okay, now will you choose what's inside Dog Number One, Dog Number Two, or Dog Number Three?"


wwwimage.cbsstatic.com

 
2013-04-07 06:24:26 PM  
Thumbs up for the bills surviving their trip through the dog.
 
2013-04-07 06:24:34 PM  
What you need in  this case is a Bum Hand.
 
2013-04-07 06:29:02 PM  
I guess you could say that Sundance has (puts on sunglasses) expensive tastes.

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
 
2013-04-07 06:29:22 PM  
Sundance, a 12-year-old golden retriever, tries to look innocent after eating five $100 bills. The dog with expensive taste belongs to Wayne Klinkel. Sundance left a $1 bill untouched but coudn't resist the Ben Franklins

Did anyone else here read that and think "coke fiend"?
 
2013-04-07 06:30:26 PM  
In dog we trust.
 
2013-04-07 06:31:44 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Sundance, a 12-year-old golden retriever, tries to look innocent after eating five $100 bills. The dog with expensive taste belongs to Wayne Klinkel. Sundance left a $1 bill untouched but coudn't resist the Ben Franklins

Did anyone else here read that and think "coke fiend"?


No, I thought, "Hick on vacation."  Doesn't believe in plastic.
 
2013-04-07 06:33:23 PM  
Came for Cheech and Chong reference, leaving very satisfied.
 
2013-04-07 06:35:46 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: AGremlin: When my labrador was young he would sometimes root around in the garbage.  I vividly remember on a walk one day he assumed the "position", strained for a bit, then moved on for a few feet, assumed the position again....nothing.  After several attempts on his part, I started to pay attention.  I bent over and looked closely.  To my surprise there was something white just poking out of his nether region.  It looked like the top of a Clorox wipe sticking out.

I quickly looked around, assessed the situation (no one around) and gave the wipe a tug.  It came out in one pull.  An undamaged paper towel had made it's way through his digestive track in one piece (Bounty really are stronger and more absorbent apparently).  I bought a new trash can with a lid the next day.   Apparently, he had found and eaten one of the bacon fat soaked paper towels I had thrown in the trash after microwaving bacon.

He's gone to doggie Valhalla now.  RIP buddy...my old canine, disgusting, "handi-wipe" dispensing friend.

You can win a year's supply of Bounty paper towels with that story.  Did you save the proof?


It would have made a great product testimonial or commercial, if it wasn't so farking disgusting.  No I didn't hang on the refrigerator or anything.  Didn't want to exacerbate the poor little guy's shame.
 
2013-04-07 06:41:47 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Marcus Aurelius: Sundance, a 12-year-old golden retriever, tries to look innocent after eating five $100 bills. The dog with expensive taste belongs to Wayne Klinkel. Sundance left a $1 bill untouched but coudn't resist the Ben Franklins

Did anyone else here read that and think "coke fiend"?

No, I thought, "Hick on vacation."  Doesn't believe in plastic.


Then why didn't the stupid mutt eat the tastier $1 bill first?
 
2013-04-07 06:43:32 PM  
I have another solution.

Cut the dog open
 
2013-04-07 06:46:51 PM  

Diacetylmorphine: Hey, what's in this ****, man?

Mostly Maui-wowie, man.

Yeah?

But it's got some Labrador in it.

What's Labrador?

It's dog ****.

What?

Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man. Had it on the table, and the little
m**f**er ate it, man.

Yeah?

I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days before I
got it back. Really blew the dog's mind.

You mean we're smoking dog ****, man?

[a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 320x230]



Came for this, leaving satisfied.

/ yea, you know, that shiat's that tied to a stick
 
2013-04-07 06:50:23 PM  

skinink: "Go ahead, Tony. Do something terrible."
[www.hotflick.net image 850x478]


Dya like dags?
 
2013-04-07 06:51:12 PM  
www.mileanhour.com
 
2013-04-07 06:53:25 PM  
I have long hair and every once in a while the pup will eat a hair and poop a necklace- several turds strung on a hair. Then he walks around in circles with a turd necklace hanging out and a surprised look on his face. I have to go pull it out, which is awkward for both of us.
 
2013-04-07 06:55:45 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: BarkingUnicorn: Marcus Aurelius: Sundance, a 12-year-old golden retriever, tries to look innocent after eating five $100 bills. The dog with expensive taste belongs to Wayne Klinkel. Sundance left a $1 bill untouched but coudn't resist the Ben Franklins

Did anyone else here read that and think "coke fiend"?

No, I thought, "Hick on vacation."  Doesn't believe in plastic.

Then why didn't the stupid mutt eat the tastier $1 bill first?


It had been in strippers' underwear.  Even Labs have their limit.
 
2013-04-07 06:57:28 PM  

redsquid: I have long hair and every once in a while the pup will eat a hair and poop a necklace- several turds strung on a hair. Then he walks around in circles with a turd necklace hanging out and a surprised look on his face. I have to go pull it out, which is awkward for both of us.


Nope ... I would've just shot the dog ...  which, I suppose, is why I don't have a dog anymore.  Ol' Fido didn't realize I was serious when I made the threat.
 
2013-04-07 07:17:20 PM  
This too shall pass.
 
2013-04-07 07:29:09 PM  

The Pope of Manwich Village: This too shall pass.


img194.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-07 07:31:54 PM  
Our lab stole and ate a stack of $5 bills. He was old and senile, and he went through a stage of eating random things. We had to follow him around and reclaim as many $5's as we could, bag them in Ziplocks, and take them to the credit union.

I miss that old thing. His photo is in my profile.
 
2013-04-07 07:34:21 PM  
It's nice that you don't always have to be inside your lab to solve a gratifying puzzle.
 
2013-04-07 07:59:26 PM  
This is funny, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for this guy.  He knew the dog had a habit of eating anything, but still left $500 where the dog could get at it.  The smart thing to do would be to put it in the glove box or put it in his wallet and take it with him.
 
2013-04-07 08:07:10 PM  
For the bills that are mostly intact with both complete serial numbers, I would have just deposited those using the bank's ATM.
That worked just fine for a bill I found after a winter thaw that was in a similar shape to some of the pictured bills.
Think about it... if the bank is going to reject it, they have to hold onto the bills and/or mail them back to you.  It should be a lot easier just to stick them in the "worn-out bills" pile that are slated to be returned for destruction.  I'm pretty sure that all banks do this, even if not all the tellers know about it.
 
2013-04-07 08:30:08 PM  

GoldDude: For the bills that are mostly intact with both complete serial numbers, I would have just deposited those using the bank's ATM.
That worked just fine for a bill I found after a winter thaw that was in a similar shape to some of the pictured bills.
Think about it... if the bank is going to reject it, they have to hold onto the bills and/or mail them back to you.  It should be a lot easier just to stick them in the "worn-out bills" pile that are slated to be returned for destruction.  I'm pretty sure that all banks do this, even if not all the tellers know about it.


We had absolutely no trouble redeeming our (shiatty) bills. We just put them in Ziplocks so the tellers didn't have to handle them. Laughter and similar tales of canine misbehavior were shared, and we got somewhat cleaner money.
 
2013-04-07 08:35:02 PM  
Saw Cheech and Chong

/leaving satisfied
//reminds me of my neighbour who leaves the dog outside, and grows pot
///I wonder why
 
Displayed 50 of 66 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report