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(The Atlantic)   Why do we laugh at North Korea but fear Iran? Is it because Kim Jong-Un looks like Moe Howard mated with an Oompa Loompa and Mahmoud Ahmacrazyman looks like Christoph Waltz?   (theatlantic.com) divider line 252
    More: Interesting, North Koreans, Iran, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel, American Empire, Carl Levin, Senate Armed Services Committee  
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8691 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Apr 2013 at 12:12 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-07 01:32:43 PM  
I always laugh at leaders in proportion to how much compensatory dick-waving they seem to partake in.

Ahmadinejad's (and the Supreme Leader pulling strings behind the scene) actions seem to indicate that they have tootsie roll penises.

Kim Jong Un, on the other hand, probably has a genital region that looks like it was divided by zero.

/geopolitics is dick-waving
//you heard it here first
 
2013-04-07 01:32:54 PM  

Captain Dan: A nuclear Iran diminishes our influence in the Middle East.


Just like a nuclear Pakistan does?

Oh wait.
 
2013-04-07 01:35:01 PM  

dennysgod: Wow, the Israel love is strong in this thread.

Since the 1950's NK has routinely said they'd turn South Korea in to a smoldering pile of ash yet you don't see anybody in this thread caring, or knowing, this is the case.


..and yet somehow, Seoul is still standing
 
2013-04-07 01:35:38 PM  
Because South Korea wasn't smart enough to create a massively powerful lobbyst group to bribe american politicians to put our own interests secondary to a foreign countries like some other country did.
 
2013-04-07 01:36:09 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Just like a nuclear Pakistan does?

Oh wait.


Are you farking kidding?  Of course Pakistan does.
 
2013-04-07 01:38:29 PM  
North Korea launches a missile. We laugh our asses off as it crashes into the ocean. Iran launches a missile. We bomb the shiat out of them because they just attacked Israel. That's the difference.
 
2013-04-07 01:38:29 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Captain Dan: A nuclear Iran diminishes our influence in the Middle East.

Just like a nuclear Pakistan does?

Oh wait.


It does. That is why the US pays massive amount of money to Pakistan; to pay them off and to keep them from flexing their dicks.
 
2013-04-07 01:39:05 PM  

optional: Millennium: They're equally insane, but the Kim family has the funny kind of crazy, while Ahmadinejad has the scary kind of crazy.

The biggest difference is in how grounded in reality they are. The Kim clan is clearly stark raving bonkers, the type that never really gets anywhere because it doesn't understand reality well enough to put one foot in front of the other. North Korea has nuclear weapons, but the only way they'll ever get something into orbit is to aim at the ground. Ahmadinejad, on the other hand, understands reality well enough to actually do things, and there's nothing funny about the things he wants to do. He doesn't have nuclear weapons yet, but it's easy to chart his steady progress toward one.

You have to keep in mind that the Iranian president has relatively little real power. All of that lies in the Supreme Leader, who's a cruel and power-hungry bastard pretending to be a religious fanatic. It's an utterly cynical regime.

If the Iranian government was as crazy as people think, they wouldn't have accepted outside intervention to end the Iran-Iraq War. The Supreme Leader wants power and regional hegemony, and he knows he won't accomplish that by actually lobbing nukes at people (especially if, like Israel, they can lob nukes back).

Instead, the nuclear weapons are designed to force people to take Iran seriously. It's also completely undermining his country (what with its terrible economy and bad political situation), but this is seen as an acceptable sacrifice.

The problem with a nuclear Iran is that Turkey, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt will all start looking to get their own in order to keep up with the joneses. It's a fair point that, since they didn't do it in regards to Israel, they won't do it for Iran-however, Saudi Arabia and the Gulf Monarchies are much more frightened of Iran than they are of Israel. Israel's just something the local Muslim countries use when they want to rattle sabers. The leadership knows Israel's never going to go much ...


One of the reasons China really doesn't like a nuclear North Korea is because it creates a situation where Japan might decide it wants nukes. And then maybe Taiwan.

Nuclear proliferation doesn't do people much good.
 
2013-04-07 01:39:58 PM  

Captain Dan: cameroncrazy1984: Just like a nuclear Pakistan does?

Oh wait.

Are you farking kidding?  Of course Pakistan does.


And that's why our drones can't strike there anym-
 
2013-04-07 01:40:35 PM  
It's because North Korea is full of starving, repressed near-slaves, while Iran actually has a serious military, a working economy, and represents an actual threat.

Besides, North Korea can't threaten Israel.
 
2013-04-07 01:40:42 PM  

Fallout Boy: cameroncrazy1984: Captain Dan: A nuclear Iran diminishes our influence in the Middle East.

Just like a nuclear Pakistan does?

Oh wait.

It does. That is why the US pays massive amount of money to Pakistan; to pay them off and to keep them from flexing their dicks.


The US has been giving Pakistan plenty of cash and help for decades.
 
2013-04-07 01:41:19 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Because even the stupidest person can't be convinced North Korea is full of scary Muslins ready to bring Sharia Law to the Skeeter Holler Potluck and Mudlympics.


http://www.wnd.com/2002/10/15716/  WND is going to give it the old Bob Jones College try.
 
2013-04-07 01:43:24 PM  
They're not judged by the damage they can do, but the clusterfark they can start. If Iran starts a war with Israel, it could very well ignite the whole region - a region that contains a whole smorgasbord of different ethnicities, religious sects, secular groups, and governments who either outright hate each other or are just waiting for an excuse, all of which are sitting on top of a very large pile of one of the most imporntant resources on the planet, not to mention the chance of bringing in the big boys to play.

If North Korea starts a war with South Korea (or anyone else), they'll be stomped flat in about three hours, at which point China will close off their borders and spend a decade or two selling supplies and materials to whoever gets stuck rebuilding Korea.
 
2013-04-07 01:44:17 PM  
DPRK:  "We're going to blow Seoul to smithereens!"
Me:  "Hahahaha!  Hilarious!  Stop it, you're killing me!  HAHAHAHAHA!!!"
 
2013-04-07 01:44:29 PM  
We don't make fun of Iran every time they Photoshop missiles and jet fighters into a picture?
 
2013-04-07 01:47:57 PM  

dennysgod: Wow, the Israel love is strong in this thread.

Since the 1950's NK has routinely said they'd turn South Korea in to a smoldering pile of ash yet you don't see anybody in this thread caring, or knowing, this is the case.


We don't need South Korea to exist in order to be raptured into Jesus' Embrace.
 
2013-04-07 01:52:05 PM  
we are taught to.
 
2013-04-07 01:53:32 PM  
Just to clear up some common misconceptions about leadership in Iran.
This is Iran's Supreme Leader - he's the one that's really in charge.

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

This is Iran's President - he's not really in charge (Think of him as an Iranian Biden)
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com\

From a military and nuclear proliferation perspective the U.S. has more to fear from Best Korea.
 
2013-04-07 01:54:51 PM  

Dinki: I don't fear Iran. Anyone that does has absolutly no understanding of the Iranian government.


That includes the entire scientific/engineering industry in Iran?  Because GWB gave them a blank check to build the bomb.  They went so far as to prove that if they didn't build a bomb, the US would sooner or later go absolutely batshait and invade, killing hundreds of thousands of Iranians.

I am unaware of any test explosions.  I'm guessing that the Iranians trust the US electorate more than their own leaders.  As part of that electorate, that makes me scared silly of the Iranian government (although more for the Iranians.  I doubt it will effect me at all).
 
2013-04-07 01:57:15 PM  

Fano: Kim Un looks like asian Bobby Hill, and Iran's leader looks vaguely like the Most Interesting Man in the World.


I came to write something serious and then this gem popped-up.    Well done.   And accurate.
 
2013-04-07 01:58:02 PM  
because Persian empire compared to cabbager farmers?
 
2013-04-07 01:59:03 PM  

dennysgod: Wow, the Israel love is strong in this thread.

Since the 1950's NK has routinely said they'd turn South Korea in to a smoldering pile of ash yet you don't see anybody in this thread caring, or knowing, this is the case.


Yes this will happen very much do you not have the forgetting of this either BIZNACHOS.  LAUGHTER OL I am the funny person who will do the LAUGHTER OLs during the rocket testing which you will see in 3 days.

craigzy: we are taught to.


This is due to the incompetence of the leadership in the country of you.  Why do they not do the embrace of the television channels of the Democratic Amazingness of the Greatest of all Six Koreas on the television each day?
 
2013-04-07 01:59:19 PM  

FormlessOne: It's because North Korea is full of starving, repressed near-slaves, while Iran actually has a serious military, a working economy, and represents an actual threat.

Besides, North Korea can't threaten Israel.


Came here to say this.

IMO the more realistic Iran threat -- at least as far as American interests are concerned -- is that Iran might shut down the Straits of Hormuz, thus basically wreaking havoc on the economies of the other Gulf countries.
 
2013-04-07 02:01:48 PM  

Arkanaut: IMO the more realistic Iran threat -- at least as far as American interests are concerned -- is that Iran might shut down the Straits of Hormuz, thus basically wreaking havoc on the economies of the other Gulf countries.


THAT would be the actual flashpoint to any conflict with Iran.

/remember what the -real- reason for invading Iraq was
 
2013-04-07 02:03:25 PM  
korean kim is dennis rodmans butt boy.
 
2013-04-07 02:05:05 PM  

Arkanaut: FormlessOne: It's because North Korea is full of starving, repressed near-slaves, while Iran actually has a serious military, a working economy, and represents an actual threat.

Besides, North Korea can't threaten Israel.

Came here to say this.

IMO the more realistic Iran threat -- at least as far as American interests are concerned -- is that Iran might shut down the Straits of Hormuz, thus basically wreaking havoc on the economies of the other Gulf countries.


Yep, and even with that, the biggest long-term loser would be Iran.  A slow suicide for the regime as opposed to the shotgun to the head that would follow Iran using a nuke.
 
2013-04-07 02:07:31 PM  

The Bestest: Arkanaut: IMO the more realistic Iran threat -- at least as far as American interests are concerned -- is that Iran might shut down the Straits of Hormuz, thus basically wreaking havoc on the economies of the other Gulf countries.

THAT would be the actual flashpoint to any conflict with Iran.

/remember what the -real- reason for invading Iraq was


Well, yeah. To compound the problem, Iraq was a balance against Iran similar to how a nuclear India is a balance against a nuclear Pakistan.

I wish we could say that we're concerned about the human rights of the citizens of the world, but yeah. About that...
 
2013-04-07 02:09:24 PM  

Dinki: I don't fear Iran. Anyone that does has absolutly no understanding of the Iranian government.


Iranian homosexuals might disagree.
 
2013-04-07 02:11:14 PM  
What would the goal be to start a war with the US? Like what would they have to gain?
 
2013-04-07 02:14:34 PM  
I actually worry more about NK and their nuclear weapons. Even blowing one up on a land mass would be bad. I would hate to think what would happen if they nuked some part of Hawaii or the Philippines or even SK.

Once Iran gets nuclear weapons I'll worry about them too.

I also worry about Syria and its chemical weapons.

You know, time to get outside in the sun.
 
2013-04-07 02:14:44 PM  

meow said the dog: Listen to this as it is many times that I must be the one who provides the voice of reasoning on the website of this but you should know very much that the greatest of the leaders Emporium Kim "Carl" Jung Illest is not the individual upon which should be taken as the grain of the saltine crackers by you but instead as one who must have the serious taking before he causes the fire to fall upon the earth as if you awaken this man of the peace then not the thing will cause the stoppage of the pustular fluids doing the draining into the ends of the earth of this as the first strikes will be on both of the poles of the North one within Canada and the South one within Cold Korea as it is very much called here.  Also there will be the attack on the moon and that stupid rover on the planet of Mars will be first target of we I mean of they not we as I am certainly not the Best Korean propaganda individual.

I give the suggestion that you must do the hiding of the kids of you of the wife of you and of the husband of you because the Best Korea will be doing the nuking of the everyone around here.  Also I think we can all have agreement that Psy is the most obnoxious of all individuals on the planet and for this reason the alone no one would have the sympathy for the Slutty Korea of the South.


Reading your stuff has made me completely unable to detect spam, which inability got me banned elsewhere.  Thanks for that.
 
2013-04-07 02:15:08 PM  
Another reason, just off the top of my head: the North Koreans are so insanely isolationist, that they don't have translators trained in the typical way that everyone else does -- i.e. by living in foreign countries and conversing with the native speakers.  Everyone is trained entirely by textbook, except for an elite few who might have access to a small and heavily censored library of foreign movies.  As a result their English-language propaganda sound positively silly, because they're trying to cram Korean aphorisms and metaphors into English, and they don't know what the English equivalent would be.  The fact that the propaganda is by nature bombastic doesn't help.
 
2013-04-07 02:16:54 PM  

Millennium: They're equally insane, but the Kim family has the funny kind of crazy, while Ahmadinejad has the scary kind of crazy.


You have that exactly backwards.   North Korea holds the fourth largest standing army in the world, including the largest artillery battery on Earth.   They have openly tested nuclear weapons, they have fired missiles over Japan, and they have fired on and sunk South Korean navy ships.   They are not only nuts, they are openly belligerent.  The Iranians like to rattle their sabres and the American media likes to tell you they're two years away from teh bomb, just like they have been for the last three decades.

In terms of global stability, North Korea is the far greater threat.
 
2013-04-07 02:18:59 PM  
One reason we don't fear NK is despite the nukes is that China doesn't want the mess the war will cause them. Imagine millions of NK refugees pouring into china at the outbreak of war.
 
2013-04-07 02:23:26 PM  

Rent Party: Millennium: They're equally insane, but the Kim family has the funny kind of crazy, while Ahmadinejad has the scary kind of crazy.

You have that exactly backwards.   North Korea holds the fourth largest standing army in the world, including the largest artillery battery on Earth.   They have openly tested nuclear weapons, they have fired missiles over Japan, and they have fired on and sunk South Korean navy ships.   They are not only nuts, they are openly belligerent.  The Iranians like to rattle their sabres and the American media likes to tell you they're two years away from teh bomb, just like they have been for the last three decades.

In terms of global stability, North Korea is the far greater threat.




Don't confuse size of it's army with combat readiness and the ability to mobilize it
 
2013-04-07 02:23:49 PM  

people: [i.imgur.com image 850x566]


Exactly.  South Koreans are NOT God's chosen people and South Korea is not the holy land.  Anyone who believes our Iran rhetoric isn't fueled in ethnic/religious supremacy is a retard.
 
2013-04-07 02:23:56 PM  
"We" don't fear Iran. I think the same people take both seriously.
 
2013-04-07 02:24:00 PM  

Arkanaut: FormlessOne: It's because North Korea is full of starving, repressed near-slaves, while Iran actually has a serious military, a working economy, and represents an actual threat.

Besides, North Korea can't threaten Israel.

Came here to say this.

IMO the more realistic Iran threat -- at least as far as American interests are concerned -- is that Iran might shut down the Straits of Hormuz, thus basically wreaking havoc on the economies of the other Gulf countries.


And this the the serious reason. Though NK could potentially cause trouble with South Korea and Japan, due to the isolation of the hermit kingdom even with a nuke they are little more than the mouse who roared. They've been contained for 50 years of pointless posturing. Iran, OTOH is located in a way to cause a lot of geopolitical turmoil for western nations if they decided to get too saucy.
 
2013-04-07 02:24:08 PM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: One reason we don't fear NK is despite the nukes is that China doesn't want the mess the war will cause them. Imagine millions of NK refugees pouring into china at the outbreak of war.


Plus, they're gonna want their money back some day and they don't want the possibility of a democratic nation on their border after the dust settles.
 
2013-04-07 02:31:18 PM  
We don't fear Iran but we do covet their oil, so it's convenient to paint them as a threat, just in case Haliburton wins the White House again.
 
2013-04-07 02:32:19 PM  
I think not having a Republican as President calms fear mongering/hysteria also. If Romney had won, I suspect we'd be having two wars right now.
 
2013-04-07 02:34:19 PM  
I have had the feeling of impending doom since I heard we were going to be attacked with nukes. I have not had this feeling since I thought for sure I was going to die sailing one day. I have had an extremely bad week trying to come to grips of the thought of a young kid with the power of nukes wrecking civilization. I even bought a Geiger counter. Made emergency plans with my family to meet in case it hits the fan. Keeping gas tanks topped off. That was my week while trying to earn a living. Until I met some dude at Best Buy just hanging out that was ex-Army. I have no clue why he was there. Maybe to help me, who knows.

In the end, all we can do is live our lives. If some a-hole wants to kill us, there is nothing we can personally do about it. When the end comes, it comes.

I have finally made peace with my fear of nuclear war. I will not have the sword of Damocles over my head...and if  and when I do, I will not fear it.

From Wiki :

Sword of Damocles
The Damocles of the anecdote was an obsequious courtier in the court of Dionysius II of Syracuse, a 4th century BC tyrant of Syracuse, Italy. Pandering to his king, Damocles exclaimed that, as a great man of power and authority surrounded by magnificence, Dionysius was truly extremely fortunate. Dionysius then offered to switch places with Damocles, so that Damocles could taste that very fortune firsthand. Damocles quickly and eagerly accepted the king's proposal. Damocles sat down in the king's throne surrounded by every luxury, but Dionysius arranged that a huge sword should hang above the throne, held at the pommel only by a single hair of a horse's tail. Damocles finally begged the tyrant that he be allowed to depart, because he no longer wanted to be so fortunate.[2][5]
Dionysius had successfully conveyed a sense of the constant fear in which the great man lives. Cicero uses this story as the last in a series of contrasting examples for reaching the conclusion he had been moving towards in this fifth Disputation, in which the theme is that virtue is sufficient for living a happy life.[6] Cicero asks:
Does not Dionysius seem to have made it sufficiently clear that there can be nothing happy for the person over whom some fear always looms?
 
2013-04-07 02:34:35 PM  

raatz01: I think not having a Republican as President calms fear mongering/hysteria also. If Romney had won, I suspect we'd be having two wars right now.


If we had a Republican president, all the people who are silent on Obama's drone wars in Pakistan and Yemen would be outraged over the number of innocents being murdered.
 
2013-04-07 02:36:30 PM  

hawcian: They're not judged by the damage they can do, but the clusterfark they can start. If Iran starts a war with Israel, it could very well ignite the whole region - a region that contains a whole smorgasbord of different ethnicities, religious sects, secular groups, and governments who either outright hate each other or are just waiting for an excuse, all of which are sitting on top of a very large pile of one of the most imporntant resources on the planet, not to mention the chance of bringing in the big boys to play.

If North Korea starts a war with South Korea (or anyone else), they'll be stomped flat in about three hours, at which point China will close off their borders and spend a decade or two selling supplies and materials to whoever gets stuck rebuilding Korea.


This.

If Iran bombs Israel, Israel goes B-A-N-A-N-A-S and then everyone else who hates Israel in the region breaks out their crazy and the entire oil region dissolves into Armageddon. If Norks bomb ANYTHING, everyone turns their back on the Norks and they're taken out, no extra regional conflicts. South Korea is not going to go out of their minds if Norks come south. If Iran does anything to Israel, its on like Donkey Kong on all fronts.

Israel is the pin on the grenade. If they reacted to Iran, anything goes with the rest of the region.
 
2013-04-07 02:36:32 PM  

shortymac: Because North Korea can't feed themselves, while Iran can?

At least Iran has some competence, which is what makes them scary.

North Korea also just seems like a goofy bond villain from the 80's, but in real life.


North Korea WAS a Bond villain.
 
2013-04-07 02:38:30 PM  
Iran is full of scary Moslems.

Chinamen have small dicks.

/all look same
 
2013-04-07 02:40:01 PM  

Kenny B: [i306.photobucket.com image 400x480]


 OK, that's as funny as fark - but what's a "mongler"?
 
2013-04-07 02:40:30 PM  

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: I have had the feeling of impending...[but somehow over the week of this I grew testicles]


I have done the summarization of this for you for those who believe you have written something upon which was too long to do the reading of and also was filled with the intense paranoia.
 
2013-04-07 02:40:52 PM  

Evil Twin Skippy: North Korea WAS a Bond villain.


He was Korean but he wasn't sanctioned by the Korean government. He developed a space laser that was going to be used the destroy all the mines in the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea and he underwent a DNA re-sequencing procedure that turned him in a caucasian and there was an invisible car and Halle Berry and Madonna and God that movie sucked.
 
2013-04-07 02:42:04 PM  

Captain Dan: cameroncrazy1984: Just like a nuclear Pakistan does?

Oh wait.

Are you farking kidding?  Of course Pakistan does.


Or it would IF PAKISTAN WAS IN THE MIDDLE EAST!

Christ people, are maps really that hard to read?
 
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