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(Time)   Time Magazine wants to answer questions internet uses have about online etiquette. Perhaps we could send a few their way   (entertainment.time.com) divider line 121
    More: PSA, Emily Post  
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5386 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Apr 2013 at 11:49 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-07 11:03:47 AM
Online etiquette dictated that at least half of all pictures of females posted in threads must be scantily clad
 
2013-04-07 11:11:21 AM
Online etiquette dictates subby be ridiculed for having a typo in the headline.
 
2013-04-07 11:52:02 AM
Online etiquette dictates fark you and subby's mom, too.
 
2013-04-07 11:52:03 AM
ONLINE ETIQUETTE STATES THAT THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT!
 
2013-04-07 11:53:16 AM
Don't fart in chatrooms. It's just rude.
 
2013-04-07 11:53:54 AM
I remember when the media tried to come up with bullsh*t words like "nettiquette" in the 90's in order to look so cool and hip and not totally retarded.
 
2013-04-07 11:54:10 AM

bearded clamorer: Online etiquette dictates subby be ridiculed for having a typo in the headline.


Grammar Nazis are going to love these rules being codified.
 
2013-04-07 11:54:12 AM
This is just great.   Time has written down the '10 unwritten laws of web etiquette'.

This business will get out of control.  It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.
 
2013-04-07 11:55:26 AM
Online etiquette dictates that you stop liking what I don't like.
 
2013-04-07 11:56:40 AM
If I'm in the middle of a pissing match with some libtard who wants to let FartBongo seize my guns for his death panels, how many times should I announce that they are going on my ignore list before actually putting them on there? Is three enough?
 
2013-04-07 11:57:12 AM
Are those who disagree with Tea Partiers *really* Hitler?
 
2013-04-07 11:59:30 AM
Here's me question.  Why do webmasters keep using slideshows even though most users hate them?
 
2013-04-07 12:00:04 PM
A member of my gym is always showing up late to our spin class. It's disruptive and distracting to have him come barging in during warmups. I've plotted a route on Google Maps that will get him from his house to the gym in exactly 26 minutes, but how can I tactfully broach the subject?
 
2013-04-07 12:01:45 PM

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Here's me question.  Why do webmasters keep using slideshows even though most users hate them?


Click-throughs look good to their advertisers. It's like when magazines distribute bonus copies and tradeshows and try to tell you that their readership is higher than their actual subscribership.
 
2013-04-07 12:03:54 PM
Online etiquette is one rule and one rule only: tits or gtfo
 
2013-04-07 12:04:51 PM
Online etiquette dicates that you link to pictures of pickles in your anus, not post them in-line.
 
2013-04-07 12:05:24 PM

rfenster: This is just great.   Time has written down the '10 unwritten laws of web etiquette'.

This business will get out of control.  It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.


11.  Never use memes
 
2013-04-07 12:05:28 PM
Dear Time,

I do no not have question on interenet etiquette, but I would really like to know where Internet babies come from.
 
2013-04-07 12:05:28 PM
Online etiquette dictates that you get the fark over Cats,  Caturday, and all this retardedness assocaited with cats.


/Dogs rule, Cats drool!!

i758.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-07 12:05:37 PM
What are the most vicious putdowns you can use on trolls?
How do you ever get BIE?
How many days should you wait before sending the hot new coworker nude photos?
What is the best way to explain sending nude photos to your entire office?
 
2013-04-07 12:06:07 PM
Online etiquette dictates pics or it didn't happen.
 
2013-04-07 12:07:08 PM

strangeluck: Dear Time,

I do no not have question on interenet etiquette, but I would really like to know where Internet babies come from.


i758.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-07 12:07:18 PM
I'm in the armed forces and I'm frequently called away from the Internet to serve my country. Lately, I've noticed that my wife has been typing on my Fark account. Is this acceptable "netiquette?" I don't mind, but I feel bad deceiving other people who might think they're talking to a genuine Marine Core Soldier.
 
2013-04-07 12:08:00 PM

Wadded Beef: Are those who disagree with Tea Partiers *really* Hitler?


No.
 
2013-04-07 12:09:57 PM

semiotix: I'm in the armed forces and I'm frequently called away from the Internet to serve my country. Lately, I've noticed that my wife has been typing on my Fark account. Is this acceptable "netiquette?" I don't mind, but I feel bad deceiving other people who might think they're talking to a genuine Marine Core Soldier.


www.johnbridge.com
 
2013-04-07 12:10:02 PM
After winning a rousing firefight in Halo how many times may I teabag my opponent before it becomes awkward?
 
2013-04-07 12:10:38 PM

phenn: Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: Here's me question.  Why do webmasters keep using slideshows even though most users hate them?

Click-throughs look good to their advertisers. It's like when magazines distribute bonus copies and tradeshows and try to tell you that their readership is higher than their actual subscribership.


Also number of impressions instead of number of viewers. I've seen a number of epileptic websites that constantly reload themselves halfway through the article. One day several years ago fark reloaded itself every 10 minutes or so so Drew would have actual stats to show the advertisers that they were getting more bang for their buck than the sites that did this.
 
2013-04-07 12:12:53 PM
Hitting ALT-F4 repeatedly will make your internet go faster
 
2013-04-07 12:13:36 PM

Badafuco: Don't fart in chatrooms. It's just rude.


Misread that as "don't fark in chatrooms." Then again, that could also be rude, depending on the chatroom.

/Wait, chatrooms still exist?
 
2013-04-07 12:14:22 PM

bearded clamorer: Online etiquette dictates subby be ridiculed for having a typo in the headline.



Right, of course - missed that one!@!!

It should have been 'equitette'.
 
2013-04-07 12:15:23 PM

semiotix: A member of my gym is always showing up late to our spin class. It's disruptive and distracting to have him come barging in during warmups. I've plotted a route on Google Maps that will get him from his house to the gym in exactly 26 minutes, but how can I tactfully broach the subject?


Put in a stick-um note on a bottle of Scope mouthwash in his/her locker and sign it. "the Green  Phantom"
 
2013-04-07 12:15:36 PM
The four things which I am positive are myths: Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, UFOs and Online Etiquette.
 
2013-04-07 12:18:21 PM
When you want help in a product forum, please keep in mind that most of the people who post there do not work for the company in question and donate our time and knowledge without hesitation or expectation. This is not the customer service hotline and the customer is not always right. If you come in with a list of demands, you'll either be ignored or cordially told what to go do with yourself.
 
2013-04-07 12:18:40 PM

eas81: Online etiquette dictates that you get the fark over Cats,  Caturday, and all this retardedness assocaited with cats.


/Dogs rule, Cats drool!!


Online etiquette dictates that you use a spell checker
 
2013-04-07 12:20:10 PM

Korzine: After winning a rousing firefight in Halo how many times may I teabag my opponent before it becomes awkward?

The answer is inversely proportional to the number of witnesses present divided by how well they know you.
 
2013-04-07 12:20:56 PM

strangeluck: Dear Time,

I do no not have question on interenet etiquette, but I would really like to know where Internet babies come from.



Sometimes, when network cards and routers get drunk, 1's get put into 0's. They might not talk to each other much after that..... just passively-aggressively sending stupid cat videos to each other. In worst-case-scenarios, FB claims to be the father and tries to put out a 2 in there somewhere...... then it gets complicated.
 
2013-04-07 12:21:58 PM
I've recently been invited, via the internet, to a romantic encounter with a vivacious, attractive 7th grader. I'm very excited, but I'm uncertain as to the protocol for these sorts of things. For example, when I walk through the open kitchen door as her e-mail specified, and wait for her to join me, should I seat myself? Or is it possible that there's a particular seat she has in mind for me in a specific location, and I should wait until I'm invited to sit there?
 
2013-04-07 12:23:16 PM
try not to say fark You, You farking fark too often. unless of course you're communicating with teabaggers.
 
GBB
2013-04-07 12:23:18 PM
Who, exactly, is the authority of online ettiquette?

Also, how soon is too soon to show my penis on ChatRoulette?
 
2013-04-07 12:23:45 PM

NutWrench: When you want help in a product forum, please keep in mind that most of the people who post there do not work for the company in question and donate our time and knowledge without hesitation or expectation. This is not the customer service hotline and the customer is not always right. If you come in with a list of demands, you'll either be ignored or cordially told what to go do with yourself.


That's still no excuse for the rudeness I see in a lot of the Help Forums. I admit people will ask a lot of stupid questions or repeat questions because they were too lazy to search the forum first. But then people who reply to the original post just get too angry and personal. For heaven's sake just ignore the newbie posting online if your reaction is equal to he just spit in your face.

Linux forums are the worst. The number of helpful posters on there are outnumbered by the ones who act like jerks.
 
2013-04-07 12:29:00 PM

Ed Willy: bearded clamorer: Online etiquette dictates subby be ridiculed for having a typo in the headline.

Grammar Nazis are going to love these rules' being codified.


FTFY.
 
2013-04-07 12:35:25 PM
Online etiquette dictates that:
every one else's beer sucks,
barbq is not pork, it's beef,
begging for BIE means you never get BIE.
fb is the father.
 
2013-04-07 12:36:28 PM
Is it true that there are really no exceptions to rule 34?
 
2013-04-07 12:37:54 PM
Does this look infected?
 
2013-04-07 12:39:03 PM
How is babby formed?

How is babby formed
How girl get pragnent
 
2013-04-07 12:39:29 PM
What gets me fuming is lazy frickin basterds who hit "Reply" in an email and then talk about something completely unrelated to the thread!!!!  Why can't they start a new one?  Farks up all my searches.

That, and not allowing me to order booze online when on the office network.  I thought prohibition was over. Meanwhile, the guy who wrote the firewall's rule for this is leaning out the window smoking a jay.
 
2013-04-07 12:39:52 PM
What IS the difference between a raven and a writing desk?
 
2013-04-07 12:43:07 PM

semiotix: I've recently been invited, via the internet, to a romantic encounter with a vivacious, attractive 7th grader. I'm very excited, but I'm uncertain as to the protocol for these sorts of things. For example, when I walk through the open kitchen door as her e-mail specified, and wait for her to join me, should I seat myself? Or is it possible that there's a particular seat she has in mind for me in a specific location, and I should wait until I'm invited to sit there?


It's considered proper etiquette to wait until her chaperone invites you to have a seat "over there".

latimesblogs.latimes.com
 
IP
2013-04-07 12:47:03 PM

eas81: strangeluck: Dear Time,

I do no not have question on interenet etiquette, but I would really like to know where Internet babies come from.

[i758.photobucket.com image 100x100]




Online etiquette dictates that I steal that awesome .gif for myself.
 
2013-04-07 12:53:23 PM

Badafuco: Don't fart in chatrooms. It's just rude.


We all know you did it. Now own up it. And go wipe your ass.
 
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