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(Marketwatch)   10 things that bars won't tell you, even if the spirit moves them   (marketwatch.com) divider line 106
    More: Interesting, Distilled Spirits Council, specialty, necessarily true, time the market  
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11392 clicks; posted to Business » on 07 Apr 2013 at 10:02 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-07 07:42:28 AM
I'm not clicking through 10 pages of a text slideshow. Shame on you subby.
 
2013-04-07 07:56:04 AM

quickdraw: I'm not clicking through 10 pages of a text slideshow. Shame on you subby.

 
2013-04-07 08:05:49 AM
WTF is this slideshow shiat?

Okay, deslider didn't work for me, so I'll go out of my way and break it down for you - and add my comments along the way:

1. "The booze business may be recession-proof, but we're not."

No shiat - I've seen a lot of bars go out of business. Go cry some more.

2. "Our cocktails will knock you out (with their prices)."

No shiat. I can buy a fifth of whiskey for the same price as 2 drinks in your farking bar.

3. "Alcohol alone won't sanitize these premises."

A sanitized bar? Yeah, that's not why I am here.

4. "That pint may be a few ounces short."

Obvious - next?

5. "Want a true measure of quality? Peek inside our well."

What? Oh, you mean cheap drinks are made with cheap booze. Okay, tell me something I didn't know.

6. "Beware the 1996 merlot that's sat over our oven since 1999."

Wine drinkers problems. I appreciate wine, but only in restaurants along with a meal or at home. I don't visit bars to drink wine. Give me a beer or something with liquor.

7. "Serving food doesn't magically turn a pub into a gastropub."

What the fark is a gastropub? It's a plus if a bar serves food - if I'm hungry, but in a bar, I'm not expecting anything great. Serve me a crappy steak or some fish and chips or whatever - you have peanuts? Okay, I'll eat those too.

I didn't go to a bar expecting a gourmet meal.

8. "We might have a gambling problem."

That's not my problem. I've lost enough money in Vegas and Atlantic City. Gambling is usually a sucker's bet. You almost always lose.

9. "Don't drink and drive, for your sake - and ours."

Heh - Now that's funny. I've seen bars cut people off. I've never seen a bar tell someone they shouldn't drive.

But who knows? Maybe that will change in the future. A local bar/concert venue just announced that they will start breathalyzing people under 21 and not allow them inside if they have any detectable alcohol in their system. I won't miss them. Their liquor license was suspended for a whole 5 days.

They'll still serve adults until they're too drunk to stand and you can't leave your car in their parking lot overnight because it will get towed. Yeah, that's not at all going to encourage people to drive home when they maybe shouldn't.

10. "We want to take over your neighborhood, if not your entire town."

I have no idea what they're talking about here.
 
2013-04-07 08:06:34 AM
Is this ten things you should already know unless you're an idiot?
 
2013-04-07 08:36:30 AM

EvilEgg: Is this ten things you should already know unless you're an idiot?


That was a painful and obvious slog, and I feel bad that I actually read the whole damn thing. Apparently bars are supposed to be Cheers and Ralph's from Happy Days FOREVER in this author's mind...
 
2013-04-07 09:14:59 AM
So, based on this list, the bikini-clad Shot Girl selling me three cents of sugar water and Captain Sam Walton's Rum-Flavored Witch Hazel for $8 actually *does* think I'm the coolest guy here while I'm buying her entire tray and tipping 150%?
 
2013-04-07 09:15:38 AM

Happy Hours: 4. "That pint may be a few ounces short."

Obvious - next?


Obvious? There's a line on the glass.
 
2013-04-07 09:23:05 AM

doglover: Happy Hours: 4. "That pint may be a few ounces short."

Obvious - next?

Obvious? There's a line on the glass.


Standard practice here. I have a number of "pint" glasses I liberated from various bars and none of them are a true 16 ounces. Be lucky to pour a full 12oz into some of them.
 
2013-04-07 09:37:46 AM
I can't remember when I last read such a pointless article.
 
2013-04-07 10:23:53 AM
Yeah, that was a pretty horrible article, and I feel bad having spent 5 minutes browsing it.

The quote from Jon Taffer about an average bar washing their cutting boards once a year set off my BS detector though.  The cutting board would have about 1" of black mold in a months time if left unwashed.  After a year it would probably resemble Cousin It from the Addams Family.
 
2013-04-07 10:29:15 AM
Sponsored by MADD
 
2013-04-07 10:32:19 AM
CSB, last night the bar only charged me for one of my two Fat Head's headhunter IPA. I told the bartender and he said no worries and didn't ring up the other. Woo free beer. And at only three bucks a pint I don't care if it was underpoured.
 
2013-04-07 10:38:22 AM

Happy Hours: WTF is this slideshow shiat?


Thanks for saving us the trouble.
 
2013-04-07 10:59:40 AM
I can't imagine paying the price of two pizzas for one drink of anything.
 
2013-04-07 10:59:52 AM

Mr. Fuzzypaws: doglover: Happy Hours: 4. "That pint may be a few ounces short."

Standard practice here. I have a number of "pint" glasses I liberated from various bars and none of them are a true 16 ounces. Be lucky to pour a full 12oz into some of them.


Which is why you don't always see "Watery American Beer - 16oz - $4" advertised on the wall. It's always "Watery American beer - $4". It's shady, so I'm happy to have marked glasses and clear pricing.

9. "Don't drink and drive, for your sake - and ours."

This is BS. It shouldn't be the bars job to babysit you. Hell, they already have to listen to your drivel. Don't drink and drive - good advice. Don't sue the person who handed you a beer when you asked for it - better advice.
 
2013-04-07 11:10:40 AM

Cajnik: It shouldn't be the bars job to babysit you.


Bars make money selling a product that lowers inhibitions and critical thinking, and they tend to be reliant on (and over-serve) the types of people that can't easily quit drinking once they've started.

You know, alcoholics.

I'd say that they are culpable when someone they gave too much alcohol too farks up.  The law seems to agree.
 
2013-04-07 11:14:32 AM

Cajnik: 9. "Don't drink and drive, for your sake - and ours."

This is BS. It shouldn't be the bars job to babysit you. Hell, they already have to listen to your drivel. Don't drink and drive - good advice. Don't sue the person who handed you a beer when you asked for it - better advice


I agree, but some places have laws that hold the bar liable if the customer drives home drunk and causes an accident.  It's varied up that they have to babysit the customers.
 
2013-04-07 11:36:51 AM
With the bars I go to, and the beers I order, each beer has it's own glass and the recommended pour marked on the glass in centiliters.   There's no shorting of beer in that case.
 
2013-04-07 11:42:14 AM

sendtodave: too


to

/too
 
2013-04-07 11:48:21 AM
4... Drinking establishments employ all sorts of methods to short-change customers, say industry insiders. Among the examples they note: shaking a drink for a long time (the ice turns to water, adding volume)

Sounds like somebody needs to retake high school physics.
 
2013-04-07 11:48:46 AM

NeoCortex42: Cajnik: 9. "Don't drink and drive, for your sake - and ours."

This is BS. It shouldn't be the bars job to babysit you. Hell, they already have to listen to your drivel. Don't drink and drive - good advice. Don't sue the person who handed you a beer when you asked for it - better advice

I agree, but some places have laws that hold the bar liable if the customer drives home drunk and causes an accident.  It's varied up that they have to babysit the customers.


It is good hospitality to keep an eye on folks. It is also now part of the law in a lot of states. Over serving patrons is not a good idea, plain and simple. Yes, bartenders and servers are supposed to watch out for the patrons. TIPS training is there for the protection of the establishment AND our patrons.

This is why bars get testy when they find you with that flask. Not because you're cutting them out of the profit loop, but because your server knows how many drinks they've gotten your table, and sneaking drinks in can throw their calculations off.

I've driven folks home. Called plenty of cabs, and kept keys behind the bar and come in early so that folks could pick them up. Getting more drunk than you thought can happen. One round leads to another, someone else hands you a beer or a shot or three, it happens. But when your server shuts you off, or suggests you get a cab, it's not because we hate you, it's because we want you to get home in one piece. Maybe even come back--unless you painted the bathroom or bar or dance floor with a technicolor yawn.

You stumbling out of the joint is not our purpose. We want folks to have a good time, and wrapping your car around a tree isn't that. You pasting a pedestrian isn't that. Oddly enough, it's not just about profits or liabilities, in the business, we want folks to have a great time. With friends. Family. With new friends. You getting sloppy drunk and stumbling around is not conducive to that purpose.
 
2013-04-07 11:56:16 AM
Pouring piss water into top shelf liquor bottles and charging top shelf prices is not on the list?
 
2013-04-07 11:57:35 AM

Arkanaut: 4... Drinking establishments employ all sorts of methods to short-change customers, say industry insiders. Among the examples they note: shaking a drink for a long time (the ice turns to water, adding volume)

Sounds like somebody needs to retake high school physics.


Or at least basic science...

That's what struck me about this article is that it is not just rehashing old tropes, but is so damn whiny about it, and it's not surprising given where it was published. It's a take on an industry from someone who is enamored by numbers, and not from within the industry itself.

Oh noes! Prices may vary to what the market will bear? Whyddathunkit? Well drinks are made with cheaper booze? Wow, there's a startling revelation. Not all bars serve great food? Stunning that folks have figured this out.

This just screams broker problems...
 
2013-04-07 11:58:34 AM
top notch food at a bar??   a waste since 25% of it or so will the puked back up by the next morning.  don't waste good food that could end up in someone's back seat or the road.
 
2013-04-07 12:01:58 PM

MatrixOutsider: Pouring piss water into top shelf liquor bottles and charging top shelf prices is not on the list?


If a bar is caught doing this it can result in at least a $5000 dollar fine, and possible loss of liquor license.  This is not something that bars do.
 
2013-04-07 12:04:41 PM

Mister Buttons: MatrixOutsider: Pouring piss water into top shelf liquor bottles and charging top shelf prices is not on the list?

If a bar is caught doing this it can result in at least a $5000 dollar fine, and possible loss of liquor license.  This is not something that bars do.


It is a popular myth though. Like tipping extravagantly will cause bartenders and waitresses to sleep with you...
 
2013-04-07 12:19:32 PM

Arkanaut: Sounds like somebody needs to retake high school physics.


Yes, you. When they shake the drink, the ice melts, meaning that there is more liquid poured into the glass than was originally put into the shaker.
 
2013-04-07 12:25:38 PM

Arkanaut: 4... Drinking establishments employ all sorts of methods to short-change customers, say industry insiders. Among the examples they note: shaking a drink for a long time (the ice turns to water, adding volume)

Sounds like somebody needs to retake high school physics.


Sounds like somebody has never seen a cocktail get poured from a shaker.  The ice stays in the shaker, only the liquid goes in to the glass. So ice turned to water goes in the glass, adding volume to the drink.

My favorite bartender trick is if you have someone who is too drunk to serve, but they're with a group (so it's difficult to cut them off).  You make a drink with no alcohol, take the straw, put it in the bottle.  Finger over the tip, pull the straw out, pop it in the "cocktail".  Tell the patron that one's on the house, but it's their last one, k?

They take that first sip and think, wow, strong drink, good for the last one of the night.  They're too drunk to notice the rest of it is just soda/juice.
 
2013-04-07 12:35:34 PM

MisterRonbo: Sounds like somebody has never seen a cocktail get poured from a shaker.  The ice stays in the shaker, only the liquid goes in to the glass. So ice turned to water goes in the glass, adding volume to the drink.


Well then.  I guess that explains that.
 
2013-04-07 01:06:24 PM

doglover: Happy Hours: 4. "That pint may be a few ounces short."

Obvious - next?

Obvious? There's a line on the glass.


caskstrength.files.wordpress.com
Not so obvious.
 
2013-04-07 01:08:05 PM

Kanemano: Not so obvious.


That's not obvious to you?
 
2013-04-07 01:19:33 PM
www.thebeergauge.com
 
2013-04-07 01:21:09 PM

Mister Buttons: MatrixOutsider: Pouring piss water into top shelf liquor bottles and charging top shelf prices is not on the list?

If a bar is caught doing this it can result in at least a $5000 dollar fine, and possible loss of liquor license.  This is not something that bars do.


Dunno how other states do it, but my sister used to tend bar at a Chinese restaurant in California, and one day had a guy come in with a briefcase, sat down and ordered a drink. She mixed it, set it down in front of him, and he immediately flashed his ABC credentials, opened his briefcase, poured the drink into a container, sealed it, and walked out the door to a van parked in the lot. Ten minutes later, he came back, told her that her pour was right on the money, and she had passed their audit. The restaurant was lucky that the other bartender wasn't there; she was a notorious overpourer, and they'd have fined her and the restaurant on the spot.

Cajnik: 9. "Don't drink and drive, for your sake - and ours."

This is BS. It shouldn't be the bars job to babysit you. Hell, they already have to listen to your drivel. Don't drink and drive - good advice. Don't sue the person who handed you a beer when you asked for it - better advice.


I've lost two good friends that left bars ridiculously drunk and died; one on a motorcycle that hit a dumpster at 130 mph. My sister, when she's tending bar keeps a clinical eye on all her customers, and also keeps a running tally of how much she's served each customer. She's also very smooth about how she '86es customers- she'll sweet-talk you right onto the sidewalk so suavely, that you'll think you put yourself there on purpose. That's because she wants you back as a customer.
 
2013-04-07 01:31:14 PM

Kanemano: doglover: Happy Hours: 4. "That pint may be a few ounces short."

Obvious - next?

Obvious? There's a line on the glass.

[caskstrength.files.wordpress.com image 300x431]
Not so obvious.


Also, those tapered glasses make you drink your drink faster than if the sides were straight.  Likely because when you think you've had half, you've already had closer to 60% of it.
 
2013-04-07 02:16:06 PM

Mister Buttons: MatrixOutsider: Pouring piss water into top shelf liquor bottles and charging top shelf prices is not on the list?

If a bar is caught doing this it can result in at least a $5000 dollar fine, and possible loss of liquor license.  This is not something that bars do.


But how would they ever get caught?

The real reason they don't bother to do this: the markup on everything they sell is so high, it's not worth the extra work involved. That $5 shot cost them less than $1.
 
2013-04-07 02:16:55 PM
To cut down on drunk driving, how about change some zoning laws to allow neighborhood bars again? So people can walk home. Oh, but then they'd be arrested for public intoxication. At least we're protected from people walking while intoxicated.
 
2013-04-07 02:52:00 PM

Girion47: With the bars I go to, and the beers I order, each beer has it's own glass and the recommended pour marked on the glass in centiliters.   There's no shorting of beer in that case.


How many centiliters in a pint?
 
2013-04-07 03:07:33 PM

HempHead: Girion47: With the bars I go to, and the beers I order, each beer has it's own glass and the recommended pour marked on the glass in centiliters.   There's no shorting of beer in that case.

How many centiliters in a pint?


1 centiliters = 0.0211337642 US pints
 
2013-04-07 03:13:13 PM
Ahem... The print button will put everything on one page.

And I'm sure this is one of those common re-writing assignment things. It's all been outlined and sourced, then you just write it again. Basic nature of the common articles.

/My mind is going meta here
//Might make some outlines and outsource the writing
///Cha ching!
 
2013-04-07 03:18:18 PM

bingethinker: Mister Buttons: MatrixOutsider: Pouring piss water into top shelf liquor bottles and charging top shelf prices is not on the list?

If a bar is caught doing this it can result in at least a $5000 dollar fine, and possible loss of liquor license.  This is not something that bars do.

But how would they ever get caught?

The real reason they don't bother to do this: the markup on everything they sell is so high, it's not worth the extra work involved. That $5 shot cost them less than $1.


You don't think any bar would want to improve their margins? A 250% margin in always better than a 200% margin. Whether they do it will generally come down to whether or not they think it is worth it, which considers costs if caught in terms of reputation and lost customers as well as fines.
 
2013-04-07 03:29:39 PM

Popcorn Johnny: Kanemano: Not so obvious.

That's not obvious to you?


Obvious when making a side-by-side comparison; not so obvious when it's alone.  Unless you're the beer-whisperer or something and can tell at a glance when a glass has only 14.2 oz in it.
 
2013-04-07 03:46:29 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Mister Buttons: MatrixOutsider: Pouring piss water into top shelf liquor bottles and charging top shelf prices is not on the list?

If a bar is caught doing this it can result in at least a $5000 dollar fine, and possible loss of liquor license.  This is not something that bars do.

Dunno how other states do it, but my sister used to tend bar at a Chinese restaurant in California, and one day had a guy come in with a briefcase, sat down and ordered a drink. She mixed it, set it down in front of him, and he immediately flashed his ABC credentials, opened his briefcase, poured the drink into a container, sealed it, and walked out the door to a van parked in the lot. Ten minutes later, he came back, told her that her pour was right on the money, and she had passed their audit. The restaurant was lucky that the other bartender wasn't there; she was a notorious overpourer, and they'd have fined her and the restaurant on the spot.

Cajnik: 9. "Don't drink and drive, for your sake - and ours."

This is BS. It shouldn't be the bars job to babysit you. Hell, they already have to listen to your drivel. Don't drink and drive - good advice. Don't sue the person who handed you a beer when you asked for it - better advice.

I've lost two good friends that left bars ridiculously drunk and died; one on a motorcycle that hit a dumpster at 130 mph. My sister, when she's tending bar keeps a clinical eye on all her customers, and also keeps a running tally of how much she's served each customer. She's also very smooth about how she '86es customers- she'll sweet-talk you right onto the sidewalk so suavely, that you'll think you put yourself there on purpose. That's because she wants you back as a customer.


You have poor taste in friends, the motorcycle douche was begging to die. I'm pleased he got his wish.
 
2013-04-07 03:56:28 PM

Mr. Fuzzypaws: Standard practice here. I have a number of "pint" glasses I liberated from various bars and none of them are a true 16 ounces. Be lucky to pour a full 12oz into some of them.


i had to special order some "imperial" pint glasses that get the full 16 oz. most of the ones i steal from bars are slightly over 12
 
2013-04-07 04:10:38 PM

MatrixOutsider: Pouring piss water into top shelf liquor bottles and charging top shelf prices is not on the list?


Most won't risk the tax code violation (ever seen a bartender scraping a tax stamp off before throwing a bottle away?)
 
2013-04-07 04:13:01 PM
$4 for a  bottle of Heineken?

$8 for a margarita made with 1 oz. of well tequila?

Fark that noise and get off my lawn.
 
2013-04-07 04:23:00 PM

hubiestubert: NeoCortex42: Cajnik: 9. "Don't drink and drive, for your sake - and ours."

This is BS. It shouldn't be the bars job to babysit you. Hell, they already have to listen to your drivel. Don't drink and drive - good advice. Don't sue the person who handed you a beer when you asked for it - better advice

I agree, but some places have laws that hold the bar liable if the customer drives home drunk and causes an accident.  It's varied up that they have to babysit the customers.

It is good hospitality to keep an eye on folks. It is also now part of the law in a lot of states. Over serving patrons is not a good idea, plain and simple. Yes, bartenders and servers are supposed to watch out for the patrons. TIPS training is there for the protection of the establishment AND our patrons.

This is why bars get testy when they find you with that flask. Not because you're cutting them out of the profit loop, but because your server knows how many drinks they've gotten your table, and sneaking drinks in can throw their calculations off.


IIRC, in California, licensees can catch hell if ABC finds patrons with booze that didn't come from the bar. I don't think it's as serious as serving a minor, but it's something that an inspector will flag with no explanations listened to.
 
2013-04-07 04:26:05 PM
This seems like as good a place as any to point out that we're starting to get screwed at home now too.

Most beers sold in the short squat bottles like Red Stripe or Session actually only have 11.2 ounces now instead of 12. What kind of BS is that?
 
2013-04-07 05:03:50 PM

LibertyHiller: IIRC, in California, licensees can catch hell if ABC finds patrons with booze that didn't come from the bar. I don't think it's as serious as serving a minor, but it's something that an inspector will flag with no explanations listened to.


Yep. We went to a bar, had a few then went to a restaurant to eat. Somehow I managed to go back in the bar with a bottle of beer. The bartender went ballistic. It was embarrassing.

The hell they can catch is a lost license. They take it very seriously here.
 
2013-04-07 05:31:45 PM

Avonmore: This seems like as good a place as any to point out that we're starting to get screwed at home now too.

Most beers sold in the short squat bottles like Red Stripe or Session actually only have 11.2 ounces now instead of 12. What kind of BS is that?


The Wikipedia article says Red Stripe changed it in 2010, and I've read elsewhere that this was so they didn't have to bottle different sizes for the US. Everywhere else they sell 330ml bottles, and the equivalent imperial measurement is about 11.2oz.

Why we still haven't switched to metric here in the US, I don't understand, but maybe food and beverage vendors are trying to help by being sneaky like this. I figure this might explain why coffee vendors have switched to 12oz instead of a pound - they probably sell the 340g bags internationally, and 1/3kg seems to be an acceptable amount.
 
2013-04-07 05:50:43 PM

cyberspacedout: Avonmore: This seems like as good a place as any to point out that we're starting to get screwed at home now too.

Most beers sold in the short squat bottles like Red Stripe or Session actually only have 11.2 ounces now instead of 12. What kind of BS is that?

The Wikipedia article says Red Stripe changed it in 2010, and I've read elsewhere that this was so they didn't have to bottle different sizes for the US. Everywhere else they sell 330ml bottles, and the equivalent imperial measurement is about 11.2oz.

Why we still haven't switched to metric here in the US, I don't understand, but maybe food and beverage vendors are trying to help by being sneaky like this. I figure this might explain why coffee vendors have switched to 12oz instead of a pound - they probably sell the 340g bags internationally, and 1/3kg seems to be an acceptable amount.




What ever their excuse, the vendors kept the prices the same.
 
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