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(Short List)   "Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing." - 50 pieces of writing advice; from authors   (shortlist.com) divider line 84
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4633 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Apr 2013 at 8:29 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-07 02:11:08 AM
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2013-04-07 02:14:31 AM
Do not use semicolons; they are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing.

FTFY.
 
2013-04-07 02:58:41 AM
So it goes.
 
2013-04-07 03:25:48 AM
"50 pieces of writing advice; from authors "

Of course you know that that is not how you use a semicolon.
 
2013-04-07 04:15:15 AM
Use semicolons; they're awesome.
 
2013-04-07 05:02:53 AM
So, semicolons lure you into their hotel room after a few drinks and steal your wallet?
 
2013-04-07 07:07:32 AM
These people cannot seriously expect anyone to just start clicking on fifty pictures one by one for a single tip, can they? Sites like this are anathema to me.
 
2013-04-07 07:32:20 AM

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

-- Mark Twain


Damn right.
 
2013-04-07 07:41:19 AM

ginandbacon: These people cannot seriously expect anyone to just start clicking on fifty pictures one by one for a single tip, can they? Sites like this are anathema to me.


This.
 
2013-04-07 07:46:27 AM

Speaker2Animals: ginandbacon: These people cannot seriously expect anyone to just start clicking on fifty pictures one by one for a single tip, can they? Sites like this are anathema to me.

This.


Indeed. Having said that, I just flipped through them all. I enjoyed it a lot.


/not subby
 
2013-04-07 07:55:01 AM
Maya Angelou: "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

TIL Maya Angelou hated being pregnant and had an abortion.
 
2013-04-07 07:57:57 AM

staplermofo: Maya Angelou hated being pregnant and had an abortion.


And?
 
2013-04-07 08:04:29 AM

doglover: And?


I was trying to make the joke that she was talking about an abortion.  You know, because poetic reflections on regretting abortions are a good way to start a joke.  Yep,
 
2013-04-07 08:31:54 AM
I use semicolons all the time; they provide a break that's more than a comma, but less than a period. Hence their appearance, eh?
 
2013-04-07 08:35:23 AM
How will I do SAS?
 
2013-04-07 08:45:05 AM
But my code won't compile without them!!!!
 
2013-04-07 08:53:57 AM

ginandbacon: These people cannot seriously expect anyone to just start clicking on fifty pictures one by one for a single tip, can they? Sites like this are anathema to me.


I have no idea where the concept came from, but I've been studiously ignoring it since its birth.  It's worse than a slideshow.
 
2013-04-07 08:56:12 AM
cppfile.cpp: In function `int main()':cppfile.cpp:7: parse error before `>'
Well what do you know?  Turns out authors are crap for C++ advice.
 
2013-04-07 08:57:26 AM
cppfile.cpp: In function `int main()':
cppfile.cpp:7: parse error before `>'


Or we could try it like this...

/Goddamn crappy WYSIWYG editor.
 
2013-04-07 09:04:32 AM

Lsherm: ginandbacon: These people cannot seriously expect anyone to just start clicking on fifty pictures one by one for a single tip, can they? Sites like this are anathema to me.

I have no idea where the concept came from, but I've been studiously ignoring it since its birth.  It's worse than a slideshow.


It's just awful. I know they need clicks to generate revenue, but WTF?
 
2013-04-07 09:04:39 AM
"Page 1 of 51"?

No.
[closes tab]
 
2013-04-07 09:06:55 AM

staplermofo: Maya Angelou: "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

TIL Maya Angelou hated being pregnant and had an abortion.


Maya Angelou tried to blast a motherfarker.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/ct-met-kass-0407-20130 40 7,0,6118910.column

"The police came by and said, 'Ms. Angelou, the shots came from inside the house.' I said, 'Well, I don't know how that happened.'" "
 
2013-04-07 09:07:03 AM

themindiswatching: Use semicolons; they're awesome.


Came here to day that; nicely done.
 
2013-04-07 09:08:44 AM
Deslidified:

www.shortlist.com%2Fentertainment%2F50-pieces-of-writing-advice-from- a uthors

It's a criminal shame that, if you hover over some the portraits, it'll display all but a couple words and you're compelled to click anyway.
 
2013-04-07 09:10:38 AM
 
2013-04-07 09:25:01 AM

Candygram4Mongo: "Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

-- Mark Twain

Damn right.


FTFY
 
2013-04-07 09:26:09 AM
How can a hermaphrodite be a transvestite? Seems to me whatever he/she is wearing would be the right sex for him/her.
 
2013-04-07 09:27:07 AM

Slog: Deslidefied


Thanks for that.

Found quite a few of those really good.
 
2013-04-07 09:35:25 AM

BalugaJoe: How will I do SAS?


Heh. A statistics software joke;
run;
 
2013-04-07 09:36:23 AM
Frank Herbert
"There is no real ending. It's just the place where you stop the story."

That would explain how Dune became 8 books with no overarching narrative....
 
2013-04-07 09:40:02 AM
How can a hermaphrodite be a transvestite... that is the question.
 
2013-04-07 09:52:26 AM
;-)
 
2013-04-07 09:55:47 AM

ginandbacon: These people cannot seriously expect anyone to just start clicking on fifty pictures one by one for a single tip, can they? Sites like this are anathema to me.


I think it's the work of some secretive, slide-show cabal, trying make us more appreciative of a standard slide-show by demonstrating just how much worse things could be.
 
2013-04-07 09:56:45 AM
I don't remember who the reporter was, but as he retired he told the story of an editor that told him to stop using so many semicolons.  The guy kept on using them.  One day, the editor took a metal file and filed off the semicolon in his typewriter.
 
2013-04-07 10:12:02 AM

fustanella: I use semicolons all the time; they provide a break that's more than a comma, but less than a period. Hence their appearance, eh?


I use them quite often as well for exactly the reason you stated. Which of the 50 writers is the semicolon hater?
 
2013-04-07 10:31:10 AM

fustanella: I use semicolons all the time; they provide a break that's more than a comma, but less than a period. Hence their appearance, eh?


A period works just as well there though, and a period or comma will be equivalent in almost ever other case where they're used to separate indenpendent clauses.  I use them in complex lists, but as faux-conjunctions, they're redundant.
 
2013-04-07 10:39:05 AM

Relatively Obscure: Do not use semicolons; they are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing.

FTFY.


You beat me to it.
 
2013-04-07 10:45:40 AM

John Buck 41: I use them quite often as well for exactly the reason you stated.


I do use them, but they are a crutch. They're simply a way to join two sentences which don't quite stand alone by themselves. Seeing a semi-colon is a sign that what you're reading could have been written more elegantly. I wouldn't say,  never use a semi-colon, but semi-colons are overused by a certain class of writer.
 
2013-04-07 10:47:35 AM
Fecal Conservative:
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showbizgeek.com
2.bp.blogspot.com

hallandquotes.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-04-07 11:00:59 AM
I agree that semicolons are overused; however, they are necessary in some types of sentences.

/that is all
 
2013-04-07 11:05:42 AM

Slog: Deslidefied


tl;dr

/Did ya see what I did there?
 
2013-04-07 11:08:50 AM

nburghmatt: staplermofo: Maya Angelou: "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

TIL Maya Angelou hated being pregnant and had an abortion.

Maya Angelou tried to blast a motherfarker.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/ct-met-kass-0407-20130 40 7,0,6118910.column

"The police came by and said, 'Ms. Angelou, the shots came from inside the house.' I said, 'Well, I don't know how that happened.'" "




I never will understand why a major newspaper would give their page 2 byline to a teabagger. Everything that guy types jut seems to scream "hey look FoxNews, please hire me!"
 
2013-04-07 11:10:56 AM

bborchar: I agree that semicolons are overused; however, they are necessary in some types of sentences.


I agree that they are sometimes necessary. Your example, however, is a bad one; the secondary clause could easily stand alone, or been brought more intimately included in the sentence.

"I agree that semicolons are overused. They are, however, necessary in some types of sentences."
"I agree that semicolons are overused, but they are necessary in some types of sentences."
 
2013-04-07 11:18:50 AM

t3knomanser: bborchar: I agree that semicolons are overused; however, they are necessary in some types of sentences.

I agree that they are sometimes necessary. Your example, however, is a bad one; the secondary clause could easily stand alone, or been brought more intimately included in the sentence.

"I agree that semicolons are overused. They are, however, necessary in some types of sentences."
"I agree that semicolons are overused, but they are necessary in some types of sentences."


It's still a valid use of a semicolon.  Anyone who says "you can NEVER use this in writing" is an idiot.  Yes, some things can be overused or used incorrectly, but that doesn't mean you have to  always avoid using them when there is a valid reason to do so.
 
2013-04-07 11:27:20 AM
Of course it's Vonnegut who says that about semicolons. Overrated hack.
 
2013-04-07 11:28:17 AM

bborchar: It's still a valid use of a semicolon.


It's grammatically valid, certainly, but it's still a  poor usage of a semi-colon. It needn't be there, and it really  shouldn't be there. I stand by my initial statement: a semi-colon is a sign that two poorly written sentences have been merged together to make a single poorly written sentence.
 
2013-04-07 11:40:12 AM

ginandbacon: These people cannot seriously expect anyone to just start clicking on fifty pictures one by one for a single tip, can they? Sites like this are anathema to me.


Deslidiifed
 
2013-04-07 11:46:58 AM

t3knomanser: or been brought more intimately included in the sentence.


quizzicaldog.jpg
 
2013-04-07 11:55:28 AM
Raymond Carver never was into that whole holophrastic verbalism thing, was he?
 
2013-04-07 11:56:01 AM

untaken_name: t3knomanser: or been brought more intimately included in the sentence.

quizzicaldog.jpg


Sorry, "more intimately into the sentence", but I lost my train of thought.
 
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