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(TreeHugger)   China's survey of its water resources finds that more than half of its estimated 50,000 rivers are missing. WARNING: If you see a Chinese river, do not attempt to dam it. They are considered heavily toxic, armed and dangerous   (treehugger.com) divider line 42
    More: Scary, water resources, chinese river, dams, rivers, waterways, warning sign, paid survey, Chinese  
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4149 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 Apr 2013 at 7:17 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-06 02:44:34 PM
Thankfully, part of the problem was that the previous estimates were wrong.

Oh, okay then.
 
2013-04-06 02:59:47 PM
Don't worry China, just dam the Mekong and Salween rivers. Nothing bad can happen from that.
 
2013-04-06 04:22:20 PM
Maybe the rivers exploded, as Chinese things are wont to do.
 
2013-04-06 04:42:30 PM
I purchased a small river in Walmart just yesterday.  Mystery solved.
 
2013-04-06 04:45:00 PM
herotaku.com
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-04-06 04:55:53 PM
Phhht, just brush away the pig ,cow, and human carcasses, it'll be fine to drink ... trust me ....I'm from the government, If you can't trust that, what can you trust?
 
2013-04-06 04:59:47 PM
If they need more toxic rivers, I suggest we send them Joan and Melissa.
 
2013-04-06 05:18:01 PM
At some point in the near future, one of China's rivers is going to catch fire like the Cuyahoga.  Unlike the Cuyahoga, it's going to kill 60 million people because of its toxicity and China will finally have to admit they have a pretty severe pollution problem.

img713.imageshack.us
 
2013-04-06 05:38:46 PM

CaptSacto: If they need more toxic rivers, I suggest we send them Joan and Melissa.


Don't you think China produces enough cheap plastic shiat?
 
2013-04-06 06:03:27 PM
They're in hell.  Someone damned them.
 
2013-04-06 06:41:01 PM

Lsherm: At some point in the near future, one of China's rivers is going to catch fire like the Cuyahoga.  Unlike the Cuyahoga, it's going to kill 60 million people because of its toxicity and China will finally have to admit they have a pretty severe pollution population problem.

FTFY

 
2013-04-06 07:41:11 PM
Damn.
 
2013-04-06 07:55:20 PM
You mean there's an economic system that actually causes more environmental damage than capitalism?  Unpossible!
 
2013-04-06 08:07:06 PM

jehovahs witness protection: Lsherm: At some point in the near future, one of China's rivers is going to catch fire like the Cuyahoga.  Unlike the Cuyahoga, it's going to kill 60 million people because of its toxicity and China will finally have to admit they have a pretty severe pollution population problem.

FTFY


They're going to have a reverse demographic bomb problem soon:  their population is aging fast and will account for much of the population stall and crash when it comes around mid-century. They're even talking about upping the number of children couples can legally have to two to stave off the problems that all of us face when the number of workers per retiree shifts towards two to one or worse.

The US and Canada manage to teeter just above the abyss of demographics by allowing a lot of young workers to immigrate if they have valued skills, but even our growth rates are not high enough to sustain population and economic growth without reforms.

Canada has done a better job of meeting future social security needs by keeping down costs so that bankruptcy is unlikely and red ink is 75 years off at least, but the USA has a political problem in that old people always vote in record numbers as Lisa Simpson puts it, and it is politically impossible to touch the old rich and seniors generally.

Even the GOP, which is only too happy to tax the working poor, the poor and the non-white demographics to support well-off old middle aged and old white people, can't make the books balance.

Of course, we could, like Germany, bring in working-mother friendly laws that encourage women to combine motherhood, cheap quality daycare, and careers that don't get side-lined on the mommy track, but that would require progressive thought and action and even the Democrats are too conservative and afraid of the Haves to help the have-nots along with the semi-liberated wage-slaves in their own camp.
 
2013-04-06 08:13:38 PM

cretinbob: [herotaku.com image 570x322]


I see that... and raise you...

wodumedia.com
 
2013-04-06 08:20:25 PM

brantgoose: Of course, we could, like Germany, bring in working-mother friendly laws that encourage women to combine motherhood, cheap quality daycare, and careers that don't get side-lined on the mommy track,


I recall reading an article about this roughly a year go; the problem was that despite these programs Germans still weren't reproducing at a sufficient rate.
 
2013-04-06 08:24:29 PM
www.bogleech.com
 
2013-04-06 08:38:05 PM
Rivers are generally pretty big things that tend to mostly stay in one place (except for the movement of the water therein and the glacially slow meandering of river bends due to erosion); people are generally much smaller and mobile. If they can't count rivers, how do we know their census is correct? Is it possible that there are just 3 people there now and that the rest are working down the street making flied-rice at The Royal Pagoda? Maybe all the people in China are Vietnamese foreign workers brought in to keep up appearances and the real Chinese are fixing to spring out and take over America? Did you poke those cheap bean-bags and furniture you bought with a pitch-fork to make sure they weren't occupied? Have you checked the kids to make sure they weren't slanty-eyed infiltrators in round-eye masks?
 
2013-04-06 08:39:54 PM
WARNING: If you see a Chinese river, do not attempt to dam it.

i182.photobucket.com
 
2013-04-06 09:18:01 PM

Gergesa: brantgoose: Of course, we could, like Germany, bring in working-mother friendly laws that encourage women to combine motherhood, cheap quality daycare, and careers that don't get side-lined on the mommy track,

I recall reading an article about this roughly a year go; the problem was that despite these programs Germans still weren't reproducing at a sufficient rate.


Having seen German porn I think the problem might lay in a fundamental misunderstanding about human reproduction
 
2013-04-06 09:32:09 PM
Why do I get the feeling they are going to turn into mega-cities seen in oh-many sci-fi movies.

Like Lynch's Dune, planet Harkonnen

/dam rivers
 
2013-04-06 09:38:54 PM
Well, if they realize that they're missing waterfalls too, I don't think they should pursue the matter.
 
2013-04-06 09:46:07 PM

naughtyrev: human reproduction


Bolded the key word there.

/Republicans should probably take a lesson too, so they'll quick farking the chickens to feathers
 
2013-04-06 10:05:16 PM

liverpool1892: Well, if they realize that they're missing waterfalls too, I don't think they should pursue the matter.


Look, I'm going to have it my way, or no way at all.
 
2013-04-06 10:13:19 PM

The Bestest: liverpool1892: Well, if they realize that they're missing waterfalls too, I don't think they should pursue the matter.

Look, I'm going to have it my way, or no way at all.


I think you're moving too fast.
 
2013-04-06 10:26:45 PM

fusillade762: The Bestest: liverpool1892: Well, if they realize that they're missing waterfalls too, I don't think they should pursue the matter.

Look, I'm going to have it my way, or no way at all.

I think you're moving too fast.


So you gotta creep?
 
2013-04-06 11:05:51 PM
whither_apophis:

Don't worry China, just dam the Mekong and Salween rivers. Nothing bad can happen from that.

There's a pretty big political stink going on in Burma because China *somehow* got an absurdly sweet deal with the Burmese government to build a bunch of hydroelectric dams on the Irrawaddy. The Burmese don't want or need them, they're not getting the power, they're not getting the construction work, and it's going to put a few million people out of their homes.
 
2013-04-06 11:29:06 PM
Wait, wait, wait.  The deputy director's name is Huang He?  Really?  I'm going to guess this is just a case of a lazy blogger misreading a poorly translated report.  Otherwise, I find it rather amusing that the guy tasked with cataloging China's major rivers actually shares a name with China's largest river.  Anyone else do a double-take when you got to that part?
 
2013-04-06 11:42:24 PM

maxheck: whither_apophis:

Don't worry China, just dam the Mekong and Salween rivers. Nothing bad can happen from that.

There's a pretty big political stink going on in Burma because China *somehow* got an absurdly sweet deal with the Burmese government to build a bunch of hydroelectric dams on the Irrawaddy. The Burmese don't want or need them, they're not getting the power, they're not getting the construction work, and it's going to put a few million people out of their homes.


In Southeast Asia,
Rivers run free,
Until your government,
Calls the Chinese

Burma Shave!
 
2013-04-07 12:01:10 AM
brantgoose:
They're going to have a reverse demographic bomb problem soon:  their population is aging fast and will account for much of the population stall and crash when it comes around mid-century. They're even talking about upping the number of children couples can legally have to two to stave off the problems that all of us face when the number of workers per retiree shifts towards two to one or worse.

Not to disagree with the point you're making about the aging problem, but the one-child policy was never meant to continue to shrink the population indefinitely and was never written so that it could. There were always a number of exceptions, and even without reform, most couples are falling within those exceptions now, so the current restriction is more of a two-child (plus) policy aiming for somewhat above replacement birth rate. Which becomes increasingly irrelevant as the local societal and economic changes continue in the direction they have been anyway.
 
2013-04-07 12:21:24 AM
How's that weather manipulation working out for ya?
 
2013-04-07 01:03:42 AM

Cymbals of the Illiterati: Wait, wait, wait.  The deputy director's name is Huang He?  Really?  I'm going to guess this is just a case of a lazy blogger misreading a poorly translated report.  Otherwise, I find it rather amusing that the guy tasked with cataloging China's major rivers actually shares a name with China's largest river.  Anyone else do a double-take when you got to that part?


Yes. Came here to say exactly this.
 
2013-04-07 01:53:36 AM
have they tried looking under the pig carcasses?
 
2013-04-07 02:08:59 AM

brantgoose: but the USA has a political problem in that old people always vote in record numbers as Lisa Simpson puts it, and it is politically impossible to touch the old rich and seniors generally.


Don't worry, there's this thing that takes care of old people eventually, it's called time.
Then it'll be your turn, and young people will be using you as an excuse.
As for old people voting in numbers, I voted for Obama in WV while almost everyone I know in this right wing shiat hole voted for Romney. Luckily, the rest of the country wasn't so stupid.
Your old vs young comparison? Doesn't work out in actuality.
 
2013-04-07 03:11:46 AM

Mangonel: Cymbals of the Illiterati: Wait, wait, wait.  The deputy director's name is Huang He?  Really?  I'm going to guess this is just a case of a lazy blogger misreading a poorly translated report.  Otherwise, I find it rather amusing that the guy tasked with cataloging China's major rivers actually shares a name with China's largest river.  Anyone else do a double-take when you got to that part?

Yes. Came here to say exactly this.



"Huang He, born in Sichuan Province in 1971, Researcher, Deputy Director of the DRC." [official website]

/we shiat you not
 
2013-04-07 10:08:32 AM

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Mangonel: Cymbals of the Illiterati: Wait, wait, wait.  The deputy director's name is Huang He?  Really?  I'm going to guess this is just a case of a lazy blogger misreading a poorly translated report.  Otherwise, I find it rather amusing that the guy tasked with cataloging China's major rivers actually shares a name with China's largest river.  Anyone else do a double-take when you got to that part?

Yes. Came here to say exactly this.


"Huang He, born in Sichuan Province in 1971, Researcher, Deputy Director of the DRC." [official website]

/we shiat you not


Chinese has a limited number of possible syllables, and 50,000 characters.

While it is odd that the guy's name (in pinyin, minus tone marks, ignoring the actual characters used) is the same as the river, I'm willing to chalk it up to coincidence.  After all, with a billion and a half Chinese people, coinkydinkies are bound to happen.
 
2013-04-07 10:53:09 AM
memecrunch.com
 
2013-04-07 02:55:23 PM

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Mangonel: Cymbals of the Illiterati: Wait, wait, wait.  The deputy director's name is Huang He?  Really?  I'm going to guess this is just a case of a lazy blogger misreading a poorly translated report.  Otherwise, I find it rather amusing that the guy tasked with cataloging China's major rivers actually shares a name with China's largest river.  Anyone else do a double-take when you got to that part?

Yes. Came here to say exactly this.


"Huang He, born in Sichuan Province in 1971, Researcher, Deputy Director of the DRC." [official website]

/we shiat you not


Nominative determism. The New Scientist used to collect examples such as "Doctor Nurse", "Nurse Doctor", or "Parson Parsons". In the novel Catch 22, one of the characters is Major Major Major Major. Huang He's parents must have been convinced that Little Huang He would grow up and do something with rivers.

I've meet at least one French Canadian named Marquis and there are, of course, plenty of Earls and Dukes running around, presumably because working class parents think those names sound posh and hope it will lead to greater things. In my experience, this theory does not work out, but I am a firm believer in the Shandian Theory of Names put forth by the Father of Tristram Shandy in Sterne's strangely post-modern novel of the late eighteenth century.

Names seem to be better at getting you a job than titles of nobility.
 
2013-04-07 03:00:06 PM

eudemonist: How's that weather manipulation working out for ya?


I don't think the Chinese do a lot of intentional weather manipulation any more. The only guy with a magical weather machiine is Obama. Well, unless you count that HAARP thingie.

But they have desertified a lot of their country unintentionally, so maybe quite a few of their missing rivers have simply dried up and blown away to California and BC, which is another problem, given the amount of toxic heavy metals involved.
 
2013-04-07 05:19:13 PM
It seems like every story that comes out from China is about how its an environmental disaster, from the air to the water. I mean its like the head honchos over there was to find out how bad it needs to be for how long before they get to a Mad Max landscape without using nuclear weapons
 
2013-04-07 05:47:36 PM

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Mangonel: Cymbals of the Illiterati: Wait, wait, wait.  The deputy director's name is Huang He?  Really?  I'm going to guess this is just a case of a lazy blogger misreading a poorly translated report.  Otherwise, I find it rather amusing that the guy tasked with cataloging China's major rivers actually shares a name with China's largest river.  Anyone else do a double-take when you got to that part?

Yes. Came here to say exactly this.


"Huang He, born in Sichuan Province in 1971, Researcher, Deputy Director of the DRC." [official website]

/we shiat you not


Let me introduce you to Rio Rivers. NSFW
http://www.boobpedia.com/boobs/Rio_Rivers
 
2013-04-07 10:10:39 PM

Lsherm: At some point in the near future, one of China's rivers is going to catch fire like the Cuyahoga.  Unlike the Cuyahoga, it's going to kill 60 million people because of its toxicity and China will finally have to admit they have a pretty severe pollution problem.

[img713.imageshack.us image 400x265]


Is that the Ankh from Discworld novels?
 
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