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(Daily Mail)   What can eight years and two kids can do to a woman's body? If you're Jessica Alba, not much   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 81
    More: Spiffy, Jessica Alba, bikinis  
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10190 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 06 Apr 2013 at 12:24 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-04-05 10:42:32 PM
Very nice.
 
2013-04-05 11:14:33 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

DAT ASS!

It's still so incredible...I would like to do very naughty things to her ass.
 
2013-04-05 11:25:33 PM
To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.
 
2013-04-05 11:43:20 PM
She has 1200-calorie meals delivered, and works out.  Seems a bit inefficient. But it certainly works.
 
2013-04-05 11:47:51 PM

Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.


You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?
 
2013-04-05 11:53:19 PM

Mugato: Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.

You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?


No, you need to spread the wealth to be a good liberal.  Fark, if I was rich I'd employ as many servants as I could.
 
2013-04-05 11:57:26 PM

Mugato: Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.

You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?


If you're an actress wanting to get your body back into its pre-pregnancy shape as quickly as possible, yes.
 
2013-04-06 12:02:25 AM

Bathia_Mapes: Mugato: Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.

You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?

If you're an actress wanting to get your body back into its pre-pregnancy shape as quickly as possible, yes.


I don't know, whenever someone goes on about celebrities and their personal trainers they sound like they're fat chicks making excuses for not being able to eat a carrot and do some pushups on their own.
 
2013-04-06 12:08:19 AM
What can 8 years do to her body. Dunno if I'd last 8 seconds doing something to that body.
 
2013-04-06 12:24:57 AM
Subby did the can can.

Alba sure to stare at these pics though.
 
2013-04-06 12:28:47 AM
Megadoses of vitamin money does a body good
 
2013-04-06 12:29:42 AM
Oh man, if I had a chance at that ... she'd probably grow to hate herself as a result and get really fat.
 
2013-04-06 12:32:05 AM
Oh goody a Jessica thread!

//wish I could post pics from the Fark app.
 
2013-04-06 12:33:42 AM

Mugato: Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.

You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?


You spend a fortune to pay someone to prepare you healthy food and coach you on the most effective and efficient exercizes for your particular situation.

I can barely find the time to drive to the grocery stores that sell good actual food. Let alone the time it takes to prepare meals... whether it's a work day or a day off. I'm too farking busy, and there is a good chance some celebrities are too and to them, putting on that extra 15lbs could mean their career.

The answer to your question is yes, some do.

Especially those of us still running the rat race. Those that don't have a wife who can stay at home all day watching Rachel Ray and making grocery lists, or those of us without the convenience (we'll be nice) of our mother still doing all our cooking and cleaning for us.
 
2013-04-06 12:34:37 AM
You can see faint lines of stretchmarks around her waist area.  DO NOT WANT!
/ Just kidding.  I've been  stalking admiring her since the Flipper days...
 
2013-04-06 12:36:13 AM
She must have read last week's Fark thread about Kate Beckinsale "doing an Alba" and decided to defend her title.

How will Kate retaliate?

/Please let it be by going topless.
 
2013-04-06 12:36:58 AM
I wonder...is this in response to the thread about Beckinsale a few days ago. She had to come back out an prove that no one can be like she is?
 
2013-04-06 12:38:41 AM

Flint Ironstag: She must have read last week's Fark thread about Kate Beckinsale "doing an Alba" and decided to defend her title.

How will Kate retaliate?

/Please let it be by going topless.


Dang it posted just before me about this.

Sorry to say though Alba doesn't do topless.

Would be nice though.
 
2013-04-06 12:39:33 AM
Give her to me or five minutes and I will wreck her for life, psychologically if not physically.


//Once you fat, pasty and white, you spend the rest of your life in counseling because of it.
 
2013-04-06 12:39:39 AM
Why, yes.  I would.

If you don't know the question, you are gay.
 
2013-04-06 12:44:53 AM
Fortunate genetics. You can't personal train your boobs into not getting somewhat droopier due to pregnancy or stop it by not breastfeeding or wearing a bra non-stop. If your genetics dictate they stay perky, they do. There is no magic ointment that will prevent stretchmarks from forming if that's what your skin tends to do nor is there no cosmetic treatment that will make them disappear 100% after they form. If your metabolism is high or your tastes run towards eating lots of oatmeal and apples as opposed to burgers and shakes, you don't need a personal trainer or chef to not gain weight.
 
2013-04-06 12:45:17 AM
I would be happy to receive Derek Jeter's herpes from her.
 
2013-04-06 12:53:00 AM

slayer199: DAT ASS!

It's still so incredible...I would like to do very naughty things to her ass.


Sweet Jesus Titty Farkin' Christ.

I want that woman to ride my face like it's the home stretch at Belmont and the Triple Crown's on the line.
 
2013-04-06 12:57:22 AM

Mugato: Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.

You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?


I used to laugh about that sort of thing.  Then one day, my sister and her friend invited me to attend one of those outdoor "boot camp" personal trainer sessions that is in style with chicks that want to be fit.  By the end of the workout, the guy had me going so hard I was literally puking.  And my sister and her friend, who were doing it three times a week, just had a healthy glow.

I stopped laughing at them after that.
 
2013-04-06 12:59:02 AM
Jessica Alba is damn near unbelievably fine.

If you agree, might I recommend you GIS nicole aniston milf sugar babies for a good time.  Strong resemblance, to my eyes.

(NSFW, etc.)
 
2013-04-06 01:00:15 AM

HotWingAgenda: Mugato: Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.

You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?

I used to laugh about that sort of thing.  Then one day, my sister and her friend invited me to attend one of those outdoor "boot camp" personal trainer sessions that is in style with chicks that want to be fit.  By the end of the workout, the guy had me going so hard I was literally puking.  And my sister and her friend, who were doing it three times a week, just had a healthy glow.

I stopped laughing at them after that.


INSANITY!
 
2013-04-06 01:05:18 AM
Love his expression!
i.dailymail.co.uk
Suckers I get to hit this like the fist of an angry God whenever I want and all you can do is dream about it HA!HA!
 
2013-04-06 01:05:55 AM

Mugato: Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.

You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?


Tell you, no.  Actually do it, yes.
 
2013-04-06 01:08:05 AM

FunkOut: Fortunate genetics. You can't personal train your boobs into not getting somewhat droopier due to pregnancy or stop it by not breastfeeding or wearing a bra non-stop. If your genetics dictate they stay perky, they do. There is no magic ointment that will prevent stretchmarks from forming if that's what your skin tends to do nor is there no cosmetic treatment that will make them disappear 100% after they form. If your metabolism is high or your tastes run towards eating lots of oatmeal and apples as opposed to burgers and shakes, you don't need a personal trainer or chef to not gain weight.


I'm confused. I can't decide if you're fat or you have 'fortunate genetics.' Which one is it?
 
2013-04-06 01:09:47 AM

Bucky Katt: Mugato: Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.

You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?

Tell you, no.  Actually do it, yes.


Adriana Lima was just in an interview not but a couple weeks ago and said that she went through a nasty see soon of training to be ready for the last VS runway show. She had just had her baby like 6 weeks before. And she even said in the interview that the trainer was a real pain making her do things ore than she was used to. So yeah if they got the $$$$$ they'll use them.
 
2013-04-06 01:09:59 AM

Azlefty: Love his expression!

Suckers I get to hit this like the fist of an angry God whenever I want and all you can do is dream about it HA!HA!


Actually, I think he's proud of his hairy moobs.
 
2013-04-06 01:30:01 AM

Bathia_Mapes: Mugato: Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.

You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?

If you're an actress wanting to get your body back into its pre-pregnancy shape as quickly as possible, yes.


Considering the money she could stand to gain/lose if she is not ready for a role or an appearance . . . it can probably be a tax deduction.

/I am okay with this
 
2013-04-06 01:35:35 AM

Mark Ratner: Azlefty: Love his expression!

Suckers I get to hit this like the fist of an angry God whenever I want and all you can do is dream about it HA!HA!

Actually, I think he's proud of his hairy moobs.


Now that you mention it it, that is seriously bizarre how that guy has a carpet of hair ONLY on his chest and belly and nowhere else.  It's like a guido merkin.
 
2013-04-06 01:36:28 AM
That is not the same bikini!
 
2013-04-06 02:12:17 AM
She's so dang pretty. Plus I've never heard of any Jessica Alba anorexia rumors like some other starlets. She's always been healthy looking before pregnancy, during pregnancy, and after pregnancy... It may be a combo of the the genetic jackpot and healthy habits she's always had (personal trainer or not).

Whatever she's doing....keep it up. Her ass makes me feel all patriotic.

*exits thread humming God Bless America*
 
2013-04-06 02:40:21 AM
Ya... herpes.  No thanks.  You're a good looking woman, but herps kills it for me.
 
2013-04-06 02:50:36 AM

Mark Ratner: FunkOut: Fortunate genetics. You can't personal train your boobs into not getting somewhat droopier due to pregnancy or stop it by not breastfeeding or wearing a bra non-stop. If your genetics dictate they stay perky, they do. There is no magic ointment that will prevent stretchmarks from forming if that's what your skin tends to do nor is there no cosmetic treatment that will make them disappear 100% after they form. If your metabolism is high or your tastes run towards eating lots of oatmeal and apples as opposed to burgers and shakes, you don't need a personal trainer or chef to not gain weight.

I'm confused. I can't decide if you're fat or you have 'fortunate genetics.' Which one is it?


Got a metabolism like a hummingbird.
 
2013-04-06 04:16:06 AM
Ye gods.  Mere words cannot describe that ass.
 
2013-04-06 04:39:21 AM

Mugato: Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.

You need to spend a fortune to pay someone to tell you to eat right and exercise?


I run and bike a lot, but the exercise is nothing like the class I recently enrolled in. The work us to near-puking levels. On my own I simply don't push myself very hard.
 
2013-04-06 04:56:45 AM

Alphax: Ye gods.  Mere words cannot describe that ass.


After thinking a while, only one phrase can do it justice.  "Jessica Alba's Ass".  That's all you really need to say.
 
2013-04-06 04:57:12 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk
i.dailymail.co.uk
That's an adorable camel toe.
 
2013-04-06 06:06:26 AM
Yeah, I'm gonna go kill myself now.
 
2013-04-06 06:49:13 AM
The definition of MILF
 
2013-04-06 07:02:14 AM

rogue49: The definition of MILF


If you're 7.
 
2013-04-06 07:42:51 AM

Honest Bender: Ya... herpes.  No thanks.  You're a good looking woman, but herps kills it for me.


i'd have unprotected sex with her even if she had full blown aids.  at least i could die stating that i had sex with jessica alba.
 
2013-04-06 08:49:35 AM
The back side isn't ~quite~ as tight as it was. I'm afraid I must knock her down to a 999999.8 on a scale of 1 to 10.
 
2013-04-06 09:18:11 AM

FunkOut: Mark Ratner: FunkOut: Fortunate genetics. You can't personal train your boobs into not getting somewhat droopier due to pregnancy or stop it by not breastfeeding or wearing a bra non-stop. If your genetics dictate they stay perky, they do. There is no magic ointment that will prevent stretchmarks from forming if that's what your skin tends to do nor is there no cosmetic treatment that will make them disappear 100% after they form. If your metabolism is high or your tastes run towards eating lots of oatmeal and apples as opposed to burgers and shakes, you don't need a personal trainer or chef to not gain weight.

I'm confused. I can't decide if you're fat or you have 'fortunate genetics.' Which one is it?

Got a metabolism like a hummingbird.


You eat five times your mass everyday? That must cost a fortune.
 
2013-04-06 09:25:49 AM

Bathia_Mapes: To be fair, she likely has a personal trainer and a nutritionist helping her to get back into shape. Most women can't afford to do that.


Yes, it's all secret information. Gyms are very hard to find too. And expensive.

italie: The back side isn't ~quite~ as tight as it was. I'm afraid I must knock her down to a 999999.8 on a scale of 1 to 10.


I don't know about your definition of "down".
 
2013-04-06 09:35:43 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Fark, if I was rich I'd employ as many servants as I could.


I tried that philosophy but it turned out you can't hire two people to carry your testicles.
 
2013-04-06 09:37:36 AM

enderthexenocide: Honest Bender: Ya... herpes.  No thanks.  You're a good looking woman, but herps kills it for me.

i'd have unprotected sex with her even if she had full blown aids.  at least i could die stating that i had sex with jessica alba.


Wait...what?  How?

*wonders if he should start crying*
 
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